Grace Underdahl

07/10/2017

Zambezi Reflection Paper

Prof. Armstrong.

Zambezi Reflection: Our Home

Its hard to describe my time in Zambia in parts, or even really relate it to one course

reading. However, to integrate many of the relationships, and the things I learn, the one thing it

all comes down to was written in soft cursive on a grey tee-shirt: kinship. Rumors Id heard and

small conversations Id had made it clear that Zambezi was unlike anything else, and I think

maybe it took leaving to realize how different it is, and how special the people are. But to add to

that, in a strange way, by different, I learned that we are in many ways the same. It seems as

though Zambians have figured out the concept of kinship much before I even knew what the

word meant. While Gonzaga has created a long term relationship with Zambezi, each group of

students starts fresh. My biggest fear coming into Zambezi was building relationships, and then

learning how to live with and keep them once our three weeks was up. Relationship building

became easier and easier as soon as I learned to be open and honest like the Zambians were with

us. After a short time, I learned that all it takes is a few simple questions, and a few more than

just how are you?. As Kris taught us, starting with tell me, and listening with open ears and

open heart, can be the key to blossoming and making connections with people I never thought I

would. If were being honest here, I was nervous as to how a person like me from Portland

Oregon, slightly shy, and with no faith background would be able to develop a strong

relationship or truly get my feet in the sand with accompaniment.

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As Father Greg Boyle quoted Mother Theresa, she said that the problems we face today

are that weve just forgotten that we belong to each other. What the relationships seem to have

taught me in Zambezi that I am hoping to and trying to carry through with me today. While I am

not comparing the Zambians directly to the way Father Greg describes Jesus, there seems to be a

strong parallel between the two.

While there are several memorable relationships from my time, one interesting

experience that stands out was one of the first nights in Zambezi: the homestay. I think many of

us felt nervous as we were still in overdrive mode of constant action, and we had yet to really

develop any sort of relationship or even strong understanding of grasping what Zambezi is like.

As one of the last few to leave the convent, I was overjoyed when Taylor and I were chosen to

stay with Mama Violet. Alrightokay here we go. We embarked on our path to our home for

the night, carrying bamboo mats on top of our heads, which we would later learn would be our

beds for the evening. As we walked through the market, people stared and laughed at us. Some

women commented to Mama in Luvale that they did not think that Chindeles could really sleep

on those mats, but Mama assured them that we could. We laughed with the market the whole

way there, as I can imagine the image of us was fairly comical. After making the final climb up

the poor excuse of a dusty bumpy road, we made it to the small village where she lives. Mama

Violets home was small, with concrete walls and dirt floors. My heart dropped just a little, and

my body shifted slightly uncomfortably through my faade of a smile. The contrast of the

convent and Mamas home made for a few uncomfortable moments during that first hour.

Slowly, however, Taylor and I grew more and more comfortable. We sat outside on the bamboo

mats we had carried. Mama violet washed our hands in a small basin and we washed hers. She

asked us to please rest in her quiet in raspy voice, but this time in a more stern motherly voice.
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As we sat, children appeared in small groups, more and more coming as they realized the

Chindeles had come to see them. They sat in front of us, staring with their wide sweet eyes. We

attempted a few words, asked a few questions, like, do you know chitomato? and how are

you?. After dispersed outbursts of laughter and pure moments of silence between us and the

children, we finally stood up, attempting to break the silence. We did not know each others

names, and could not speak the same languages, but as the discomfort shifted to peace, and the

peace shifted to playfulness, the language boundary made no difference.

Father Greg talks of the tenants of being a Jesuit, and one of the strongest and most well

known ideas spread through out Gonzagas mission is men and women for others. Father Greg

in discussing Jesus, states that He was not a man for others, but was a man with others, and that

there is a world of difference in that. To be with someone rather than for someone are starkly

different. We sat with the children, and played with the children, to simply be with them and

enjoy our shared company. Through playing and laughing, the image and thoughts of poverty

that first crossed my mind when we arrived, seemed to disappear. Throughout the evening Mama

Violet and Stephens home also became our home.

As it began to get dark, Mama violet, Taylor, and her son Chitete and I pulled the leaves

off of the Chinese cabbage that we would cook for dinner, along with Nshima and soda we

would have. As we sat around the fire and the sun came down, our faces were only seen by the

reflection of the dim light. In the darkness, Stephen, Mamas husband, arrived.

He greeted us warmly and shook our hands, the last time it would just be a handshake and

from there on he would always hug us. Within our first meeting, he shared with us that his home

was now our home too. He asked us questions about previous zags, our families, and even

friendly political conversation about Lungu and Trump. Without seeing our faces, and without
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knowing much about us at all, Stephen and violet invited us into their circle of compassion and

immediately welcomed us. After only one nights worth of prayer, and our long walk to church

where Stephen introduced us to everyone we passed, which was quite a lot of people, we became

part of Stephen and Violets circle, and family. It was normal for us to come to their home, after

we saw the long list of previous zags, and it was normal for us to embrace in a compassionate

hug and series of questions every time Stephen came to pick up Violet from the convent. Stephen

and Violet exemplified just what Father Greg was getting at. Father Greg mentions Flannery

OConnors A Good Man is Hard to Find, which I have also previously read at Gonzaga. It is

true that we often differentiate between us and them, and focus on our differences rather than

similarities. In this case, I felt as though Mama and Stephen were more fit to be on a higher

moral ground, and better people than I. It took me until reading this article, to understand the

we and how much it really meant when Stephen always mentioned that his home was our

home, and we too, are his children. Stephen and violet are part of my family.

This reading was the first reading to make me cry on the trip. While at the time I still did

not want to cry, I knew I needed to. Kinship is hard to find, and that is what makes it even more

important to talk about, and what makes organizations like HomeBoy Industries successful.

Kinship can be much harder than it seems. We cant all always be like Jesus, all the time. It takes

practice, self reflection, and recognition of our circle of compassion. For me, it starts with

recognizing my own thought process. It is important to admit when we are defining ourselves by

differences, or assuming we are different or better, and asking important questions like, what is

my role here? And, what makes me qualified to be teaching a business and leadership class to

Zambians older than I am? From there, it is important to see our similarities, and see how we

belong to each other. It is also important to ask questions of others, and also learn to sit in silence
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and turn discomfort in to comfort, like the way Caroline described a hospital waiting room you

just have to be there. In the waiting room, you can learn, and you can grow. In the process of

remembering kinship, which is what I am trying to do here in my life in the United States, I can

learn to treat people the way I was treated in Zambezi with Mama Violet and Stephen.

Part two

In Zambezi I was a part of the Business and Leadership team along with Kelen, Chase,

and Taylor. While we definitely felt nervous at first, we worked well together as a time, only a

few times struggling to make decisions on which path we wanted to take. Turns out, we are all in

the amiable leadership category, which makes us work well together, but also harder to make

decisions. We were supportive towards each others ideas, but at times unsure and slow to work.

In the end, we all felt we successfully led the class and directed them in the right direction

towards having more ideas about who they are in their community and as individuals, as well as

the basics of business.

We started the class with the first week of discussing leadership, as well as our

expectations and goals for the class, which we came up together with each class and formed a

singular sheet. On our first day, we played a name game which was a great way to break the ice

and laugh to ease our nerves, as well as make everyone comfortable (highly recommend the

dance move name game). It is important to start each class with a prayer, sometimes which we

would say or ask someone in the class to say before beginning. We brought with us a highly

edited version of 2013 curriculum, where we picked through sections we thought were valuable,

and each took turns talking about the different lessons, and parts of the lesson throughout the

hour. I think if we had spent less time on expectations and name games, we would have had at

least one more class period to include a lesson we could not get through. However, I do not have
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any regrets about the lessons we chose to teach, and how each class period went. We discussed

some of story telling but mostly recognizing values through reading The Giving Tree a very

helpful book on expressing values. Transitioning from that to leadership styles was a strong

Segway. Make sure to have plenty of time to go over Social Styles inventory IN CLASS so that

you can help discuss the different meaning of the words, it is very helpful. It was one of my

favorite exercises because the students were able to refer back to their style in their final project,

and many enjoyed learning the words and sense of identity it helped them develop.

The second week, we focused on business development with the importance of customer

service, marketing, and financial planning. While it is not as fun as leadership, it is equally

important. This transitioned us to moving into the final project, which you NEED to mention at

the beginning of the class with expectations. We forgot to do so until later, and the project takes

a lot of explanation as well as time so save extra days for in class work. Enjoy the experience,

listen closely, and speak slowly. It can always be helpful to split people into smaller groups to

help eachother and walk around the room to answer questions because it can make people feel

more comfortable rather than asking in a larger group.

It is helpful to have steps written out in your curriculum packet, however what we used

could have been highly condensed. Make sure in the future to use fewer and simpler words.

While creating your curriculum, do not worry. The majority of planning and understanding

happens in Zambezi, where you can decide for yourself how you want to direct conversation, the

lessons, and the homework. I also highly recommend finding fun activities or games to teach the

lessons, as speaking at them is harder for them to understand, but it is also more fun. One of the

most important things that will came from this class, was the root cause analysis. We discussed

what root cause was, and then sent our students home with homework. They came back with
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many of the problems they face in their community, and where they come from. It was an eye

opening experience where we were able to learn and discuss many issues in Zambezi that we did

not know about, as well as possible resources to help with those problems. In many ways, our

students taught us equally if not more.