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10 Lessons Every Father Should Teach His

Son
June 20, 2015 By Chad Howse

I was 4 years old, and I was getting picked on by a kid who was 6 years old. The kid would act as if he were
my friend but push me around from time to time. I told my old man about it and, being a dad he gave me

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the advice I needed to hear; its this advice at such an early age that would shape the man I am and am
becoming.

He told me to ght back.

He said if I get pushed around or beat up that I should hit rst and hit hard. Hit rst and hit hard may not
have been his exact words, I may have read those in a book, but that was the sentiment. Sentiments,
however, get lost on young lads of that age so the next time I saw the punk, who was actually a nice kid
most of the time, I yelled out, Dad! Dad!, from the backyard of our housing complex. When my old mans
head popped up and I could see that he saw me I socked the kid right in the chops. He went down like a
ton of bricks, never to bully me again.

The problem, of course, was the he wasnt being a bully. He was being nice. But Id been picked on enough
that, having my dads permission, I couldnt wait to enact some revenge, so I let the sucker have it.

Our mothers give us sustenance. They

teach us kindness and goodness but
goodness is of little use if youre a
victim. This is where our dads come in.
We need both the masculine and the
feminine and we need to appreciate
both for what they are and what they
teach us. Our connections with our
mothers cannot be matched. Theyre
with us from birth, they care for us and
feed us, but our fathers are something
different. They introduce adventure into
our lives, and danger, and they tell us
that its okay to hit back.

It being fathers day, and me having a

dad, I think it would be pertinent to go
over lessons that dads should teach
their sons. Some of these lessons are
being lost in a politically correct and sissi ed world, an emasculated society. Where they are taught,
however, is where leaders will rise to point our culture in the right direction.

We need more leaders. We need more warriors and less worriers, less cowards and more ghters. Happy
Fathers Day.

1. Hit First and Hit Hard.

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A boy who is a victim will be a victim as a man unless he snaps out of it and starts being a warrior.
Victims arent born, theyre created and allowed to develop. Theyre allowed to develop by parents who tell
their kids never to ght back. Theyre allowed to develop by parents who coddle their kids and say violence
is never the answer.

As a kid, especially, violence is sometimes the answer because it gets you respect. A kid cant go around
ghting everyone who picks on him, though, and in our modern society we have a conundrum. Teasing
used to end at the nal bell. Today its extended to social media, to Facebook, to texting, its nearly
impossible to escape. You should teach your son to hit rst and to hit hard if hes facing a physical threat,
but if that threat is emotional, if it hides behind a computer, you have to extend that toughness to the
spiritual.

2. You Are Only A Victim If You Give Them

Permission.
Victim-hood doesnt happen without the victims permission. When the victim gives the bully permission to
make fun of him, to haunt his dreams, to torment him, the bully is fed. No matter how fat your kid is, how
awkward they are, ugly they are, they need to know that they are also strong, they need to know that they
are also a part of something greater than the collection of dickheads that make up their classmates.

He needs to know your history, your familys history to see what he is a part of. He needs to realize how
strong he is and how insigni cant their torments are.

3. Be a Defender, Not a Bully.

On the ip-side of that coin, your son may be strong. He may be tough. In this case, you have to raise a
defender, not a bully. You have to raise the stud athlete thats going to sit next to the loner in the corner of
the cafeteria and not care about what the other popular kids say about it.

You have to raise a leader and a leader creates his own pack, he doesnt fall in line with whats expected.

4. Laziness Gets You Nothing.

If your son thinks that success, greatness, happiness, a life of value, are all things hes entitled to, he has
lost. Entitlement is a growing sentiment and a cancer on a society that needs everyone pulling their weight
to thrive.

Never in the history of this wonderful planet has laziness

earned anyone anything.
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There is no value in it. If your son sees the value in hard work and not just for what it gets you materially,
but for the man it makes you, you will have a good, successful, strong son.

5. Life is Hard.
We like to tell our kids fairy tales. The original fairy tales were actually pretty damn violent. Hansel and
Gretel? Thats a gory story when told in its original version. Modern fairy tales have been watered down to
present the world as a good place where only good people live. The reality is that the world isnt innately
good, though its inhabitants may be.

The world is a hard place, one of the few things thats guaranteed is adversity and tribulation. The thing is
that God doesnt put us through anything we cant handle. If you believe that as fact, there is nothing that
can stop you.

Life is hard. Not all people are good. You have to work for everything you get or you will get nothing but
cynicism and envy as your constant companions.

6. Be the Man Your Lady Needs.

As they try to blur lines between genders in another distorted effort to create equality, the roles of men and
women become possibly even more important. Serve your lady. Protect her. Defend her. Enable her. Uplift
her. Fight for her. Shes called your better half for a reason. Make sure your son sees you do this, or he
himself will never be the man his lady needs.

This is something that must be taught by actions, not by words. Words cant convey how being the man of
the house actually looks. It cannot convey the tenderness that it entails or the toughness that it requires.
Men and women are very different creatures. Be the yin to her yang, the masculine to her feminine, and be it
not only for her, but for your son as well.

We need more men of the house who are actually men of the house and who stay in the damn house. Dont
buck your responsibilities as a father or as a husband because its your son who will lose because of it.
(Read this: How Men Should Become Better with Women)

7. Serve.
Leaders serve. Theyre the rst one marching into battle and the last one to leave. Serve others and your
son will see this. Tell him to serve others and dont serve them yourself, and he will never be the man of
value you want him to be unless he gures it out on his own some point down the line.

8. Never Stand Idly By.

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Inaction of good people is just as bad as the actions of bad people. We are evermore becoming a society
of pussies, your son cannot be one of them. Part of raising a warrior and a defender is raising a man of
courage, not a coward.

Never stand idly by in your own life, and make sure he isnt merely a man of intention, but a man of action.

9. Money Isnt Everything, But it is Something.

As our society is increasingly a consumer-society, your son needs to be an earner and a saver, a fan of
frugality. The things people spend their money on today is utterly useless and its all in an effort to impress
people that they shouldnt be trying to impress.

The stuff you own does, indeed, end up owning you. Teach him to nd value in work and in acquiring
knowledge, not trinkets or gadgets or things.

Money, however, does have its place. Earning it allows you to take care of your family and to worry about
the important things in life. Poor people talk about money more than those living in abundance because
the abundance mindset dictates that you must talk about ideas rather than people or things and when
money isnt a thing you worry about its only a topic of conversation when guring out how to acquire more
of it.

10. Become Great at Something.

Practice and perfect. Teach your son the value in mastering a skill or many skills. Its not necessarily what
you earn from your skills but that you become great at them. The better you are at something, the more
youre likely to get paid to do it.

Teach him, from an early age, the value of practice. Practice everything. Practice greatness. Learn to love
getting good at stuff. Its practice that yields results, not talent.

Words vs. Actions

Most of these lessons are taught through actions. Its our actions that have a much more profound effect
on our sons than our words which they often tend to tune out. So, make sure you live each of the ten
lessons on this list. They will make you a better man, theyre things that I need to work on and things that I
am working on as well.

If you improve everyday your son will learn everyday.

Happy Fathers Day.

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Read This Next: 11 Ways to Be a Better Dad

Filed Under: Be a Better Man

Tagged With: alpha male, fatherhood, how to be a man, Manliness

About Chad Howse

chadhowse Chad's mission is to get you in the arena, marred by the dust and
sweat and blood, to help you set and achieve audacious goals in the face of fear,
and not only build your ideal body, but the life you were meant to live. Hes a former 9-5er turned
entrepreneur, a former scrawny amateur boxer turned muscular published tness author. Hell
give you the kick in the ass needed to help you live a big, ambitious life.

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Andrew Miles 2 years ago

I love No. 10, practice and perfect. There is just so much good to be said about a competent, skilful man.
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