Joshua Moreno

December 9, 2017

Professor Batty English 102

Drama Reflection

According to the comments left to me on my essay regarding M. Butterfly. I was tasked

with changing quite a few things. Firstly, I have changed my thesis around to be more accurate to

points I have made in relation to the analysis of the characters and their difference in power.

Originally it had read, . I agree this play depicts politics regarding Eastern and Western

cultures; however, the real story of the play is in how it handles gender norms and subverts these

norms. Therefore, making East versus West a dynamic rather than plot device, as I believe

Hwang calls into question the traditional dynamics of power between masculinity and

femininity. It was changed to have added, Although, Hwangs play depicts East versus West

culture dynamic as the major point in his play, I would have to disagree and that rather than it

being about cultural differences M. Butterfly is actually about subverting traditional gender

norms in terms of power cross culturally. Why this was added was due to the fact that I not only

compared the characters and differences of power but there were also points to how both

cultures from the East and West view men and women.

Another change I had made was to add topic sentences to my paragraphs to make it relate

better to the thesis for instance, the first paragraph had read, According to the text, Gallimard

has not always been the strong, embolden conqueror he was towards Song. In the revision Ive

added a sentence before it, With regard to masculinity and the idea of being seen as masculine

we are given this portrayal in the character Gallimard. This better relates the topic of the
paragraph to the thesis. Other paragraphs should read somewhat the same in regards to reflecting

the thesis or have had sentences added after the topic to further distinguish itself.

The final change that was added was a more in operationally defined look into the

pronoun zhe. I had given this pronoun to refer to Song in the play as the character is a man under

the guise of a woman and in doing so I have neutralized the two genders in effort to not sound

offensive.

Other things that have changed are smaller tweaks to sentences to not sound like start and

sudden stops all the time as well as quotation marks on the term oriental as it is a dated term

and is by any means no longer politically correct.