Peer Review: Research Outline/Draft 1

Reviewer: Isela Pena

Reviewee: Carolina Gonzalez

Directions:
Look at the content of your peers outline/draft. Make marginal comments and a summative
comment for the author of the paper which you are reviewing. Carefully consider the authors
implementation of the P.I.E elements in each of their slices. Also consider how and why they
need to be changed. BE CLEAR about what you are saying and why you are saying it.

Keep in mind the following (but also include things you think should be added):
Does each P.I.E element do what it is supposed to in each of the slices?
Does each slice have only one flavor? (is the slice talking about more than one thing?)
Is each slice placed logically within the paper?
Did you understand the content of the slice as it was presented? Tell the author what you
did understand and didnt.
Are the slices understandable for an outsider? Explain what the author can do to make it
more understandable.
Did you understand the content of the paper as a whole? (Is this an effective research
paper? Explain)

Write detailed and helpful comments that will help your peer consider how to better shape
their slices to make a well formed research paper.

Prompt

1. Extended Response: In an academic voice, discuss the most/least important skill

(particular ability or expertise) or idea (understanding or awareness) that can be gained
from this course by an outsider student considering the readings which have been
completed.

You may discuss:

Why one reading is more important than another based on the ideas presented in those
readings.
A particular unit within the course.
A critique on a major assignment within the course.
 Other (See me for approval)

Format and Requirements

1300-1700 words, 12pt Times New Roman, single spaced, 1 inch margins.
Proper title and MLA header.
Correct comma use and sentence boundary awareness.
Use MLA format (8th edition) for in-text citations.
A works cited page is required.
You must use Detached Impersonal Style for the entire paper.
Quotes may be no longer than 3 lines.

Summative Comments:
- One of the readings you are using is called Multilingual Students and College Writing
by Dana Ferris not What is a multilingual writer?
- Fix this on thesis and other parts in essay
- Also include the authors of these readings
- To me your thesis sounds a bit confusing are you trying to say one is more important.
When I read your thesis it seems like you are just going to summarize the 2 readings.
- Pie 1:
- Is this part in general for both readings?
- Not having your I and e also makes it harder for me to understand what you
are going to explain
- Pie 2:
- On p what quote are you talking about you havent mentioned a quote. This is
something you would say for part e
- So for this pie you are trying to explain how Ferris reading impacted a large group
of people?
- Further explain what you mean by emotion, you say one shows emotion and the
other doesnt but how
- Remember to write as if the reader doesnt know about these readings
- Pie 3:
- Your p sounds confusing
- Are you trying to explain how this reading can impacts our own writing?
- Dont forget the explanation
Overall, its hard to determine if you have enough examples to prove your point. I feel like you
need to expand and prove why the first reading is more important than the other. Something you
can consider is that the first reading helps ml students realize that going to college will have
higher expectations and this reading shows many places that students can get help. For this
reason, this reading seems more important to me because it offers things students in this class
should consider and will help them transitioning to the college level writing. Unlike the other it
mostly compares the work of two students; therefore, the first reading will benefit students more.