Gonzalez !

Carolina Gonzalez

Professor Doutherd

English 5M

19 November 2017

Research Paper draft 2

To respond to a reading is an important factor when it comes to understanding a piece of writ-

ing, responding to a reading engages a student with the reading and invites a student to make

connections. When going from high school into college, many and most students have a difficult

time transitioning what they learned in high school to the writing to the writing expectations on

college. Readings like Multilingual Students and College Writing by Dana Ferris and Writing

What Matters: A Students Struggle to Bridge the Academic/Personal Divide by Emily Strasser,

are readings that help these students with that transition. Compared to readings like Reading

and Writing Without Authority by Anne M. Penrose and Geisler which do not make influential

connections with the audience, shape the writing of students, and do not convey a strong learning

lesson.

First and foremost, a student must first know what it actually means to write. Someone can

write their entire educational career, and not know what it means to write. As Strasser states,

writing and education are useless tools if they fail to speak to a students life, experience, and

passions. The reading Writing What Matters: A Students Struggle to Bridge the Academic/Per-

sonal Divide is an important reading because it explains what writing should be. And what as-

pect a student should have towards reading. Strasser describes writing as a tool for self-empow-

erment and expression. Writing should be taught with the purpose of empowering oneself and
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others. When students write about what matters to them, they write better, more passionately, and

more strongly which are all elements of a vivid, understanding, and compelling composition.

Students encounter countless amounts of articles and readings each year, among those many

readings only a few of them manage to leave a great remark on these students, a connection.

Multilingual Students and College Writing by Dana Ferris makes this connection by focusing

on a certain group of people; multilingual writers. Although her main focus is on students whos

second language is English, other students can make connections with this writing as well. Ferris

believes that ML writers bring valuable background knowledge and experience that can help

their own learning process because they understand more than one language. the student

should not be expected to change the way s/he writes in that other language or to change his/her

opinion about the best ways of writing (24). Ferris understands the challenges ML writers

face, therefore making that connection. She makes clear that it is crucial for ML writers and all

other writers to have an understanding of the expectations in American Colleges, they should not

change their aspect, style, or opinion of their reading and writing.

From forming a connection with the reading comes shaping ones own writing. For a piece of

writing to mold the writing of another is a concept not every author can pursue through their

writing. In the article Reading and Writing Without Authority by Penrose and Geisler, there is

not much a student can pick up to apply to their own writing. The article is attempting to bring

across the idea of becoming aware of ongoing textual conversations and to take part in those

conversations (517). It does not provide very much information that could shape the writing of

another, much less aid a student or anyone in any shape or form. For a piece of writing to shape

anothers writing, there has to be elements and guidelines offered that a students will take in and
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apply to their own writing. This is not seen to be taken in this article; it is one of the less impor-

tant readings.

Just as any person in the intended audience would expect, there is a learning lesson to every

reading. It is the purpose of every writer to leave a student with a lesson at the end of each read-

ing. A student that can relate to the contents carried in Multilingual Students and College Writ-

ing can very much agree that the lesson here is to be patient with oneself and to not change ones

writing. Many multilingual writers confront hardships with assimilation to the American writing,

from the reading they can take that just because they cannot relate to the American writing in

colleges, they do not have to change their own.

An idea that any student or reader/writer would benefit the most from Writing What Matters:

A Students Struggle to Bridge the Academic/Personal Divide would be the understanding of

valuing writing as a way of telling ones own stories and expressing ones thoughts (200). To

value ones writing and to see it as telling a story and expressing ones thoughts will make writ-

ing much more valuable. Every voice deserves to be heard.Writing should be taught with the

purpose of empowering yourself and others. When students write about what matters to them,

they write better, more passionately, and more strongly which are all elements of a vivid, com-

pelling composition.

Reading and Writing Without Authority of course has a purpose like any other piece of

writing does. A lesson a student could make the best use of is becoming aware of the authors

circumstances and to become an insider in the academic domain. The thing here is, this lesson is

made for college students with more experience in writing. It is conveying that the more knowl-

edge and experience one has in writing, the stronger their piece of writing will be (517). A stu-
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dent making that transition from high school to college does not exactly have that experience

Penrose and Geisler are portraying. With that being said, the purpose here defeats the purpose of

facilitating the english life of a student and the standing of being one of the more important read-

ings.

Furthermore, between these two readings, it can be clearly seen that some readings are more

important than others. It is not to say that Reading and Writing Without Authority is a horrid

and useless writing, but not much can be taken from this writing and not much can be carried out

to other courses. One can argue that "What is a multilingual writer? was only intended for a

specific kind of audience, but anyone can take certain notions from it to be applied to present and

future writing.

Throughout the course of college education and beyond, people will come face to face with

many writing and will be introduced to many different flavors of writing, but some make a big-

ger impact than others. Truthfully, one can say that some writing are more important than others.

More elements can be taken from one writing compared to another, this regards the influential

connections being made with the reading, how much of an affect has been on ones own writing,

and the notions grasped by the end of the reading. It all comes down to the personal experiences

one feels towards the writing and whether one can pursue the notions expected from the author

on to other courses.
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Carolina Gonzalez
Revision Summary

To begin with, the second draft of this research paper has to be one of the most difficult drafts
I have ever had to complete. I had a very hard time trying to figure out what and how to say cer-
tain things to back up my thesis statement. My thoughts and ideas were just completely blocked
and could not be transferred on to paper. Although I already had an outline of my work, I was not
at all content with it because I knew it was not my best work. To build off of a piece of writing
that was already of horrible quality was quite difficult. Luckily my peers were extremely honest
with the reviews and pointed out what went well and what did not go so well. I first changed up
my intro paragraph and the idea I was going with a bit because I felt that I was all over the place
and unclear with that I wanted to covey. I rearranged some wording to make it sound more as-
sertive. I added an extra paragraph that was not in my outline to create somewhat of a transition
between the first paragraph and the paragraph that initially introduces the concept of the thesis.
My peers also commented saying that the elements in my pie were a bit unclear and confusing to
read in regards of it flowing and coming together as one pie piece. I included too much informa-
tion in the P slice of my pie and too little in the I and E slice. Being straight to the point is
what I always have issues with. I tend to get too wordy, I tried my best to fix that up for the sec-
ond draft. As for the I and E, I added more information. I inserted quotes and information
that would back up the P and explained the quote/information in more depth for the E I feel
this made my second draft much stronger and less confusing. Also, I tried to be much more clear
with my words and how I put them together. As always, my language of writing is a bit different
and confusing for the reader. Hopefully the way I structured and worded certain things are com-
prehensible for my audience. I can personally say that my second draft is a lot better than my
first draft. Much progress has been made and I expect that more more progress will be made for
the next draft.