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access to Cultural Critique
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"AH, YES, I REMEMBER IT WELL"
MEMORY AND QUEER CULTURE IN WILL AND GRACE
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"AH, YES, I REMEMBER IT WELL" I 159
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"AH, YES, I REMEMBER IT WELL" 161
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162 | CHRISTOPHER CASTIGLIA AND CHRISTOPHER REED
THE PLAYERS
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"AH, YES, I REMEMBER IT WELL" I 163
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"AH, YES, I REMEMBER IT WELL" I 165
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"AH, YES, I REMEMBER IT WELL" 167
The pleasure we take in Will and Grace derives in part from the
scarcity of popular representations of subcultural memory. The hun-
ger for such representations is often belittled in mainstream tele-
vision commentary, but one sign of the dominant culture's privilege
is its failure to recognize its own rehearsals of collective memory for
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168 | CHRISTOPHER CASTIGLIA AND CHRISTOPHER REED
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"AH, YES, I REMEMBER IT WELL" 1 169
In this plot, Jack and Will express very different notions of "orig-
inality" and what they imply for individuality and community. For
Will, originality-individual uniqueness-is the basis of vision and
passion. Jack, however, has knowingly both taken the idea for the
Subway Tush from Bjorn and derived his campy promotional shtick
from commercial jingles. Jack's undeniable passion and vision do not,
as Will claims, derive from his originality. In episode after episode,
Jack's erotic and social repertoire recycles mass-media memories-
montage and medley are his fortes-to succeed. If Jack's perfor-
mances are who he is (his cabaret act is called "Just Jack!"), then it is
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170 | CHRISTOPHER CASTIGLIA AND CHRISTOPHER REED
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"AH, YES, I REMEMBER IT WELL" | 171
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"AH, YES, I REMEMBER IT WELL" | 173
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174 1 CHRISTOPHER CASTIGLIA AND CHRISTOPHER REED
Out of our memories comes our future. Not only what we remember,
but how we remember-with pleasure or pain, generosity or anxi-
ety-shapes the futures we will enjoy (or endure) as communities or
as individuals. This is the theme of the episode "There but for the
Grace of Grace," in which Will and Grace make a pilgrimage to visit
a beloved college professor, Joseph Dudley. They find him disillu-
sioned and embittered, locked in a battle of resentments with his
longtime companion, Sharon. Watching the two snipe at one another,
Will and Grace recognize aspects of their own relationship. Grace
exclaims to Will, "Them. They're us," adding, "when he put down
the bottle of Correctol by her lamb chop, she said 'Ew.' I say 'Ew.'
Will, she is exactly who I'm going to be." Ironically, this return to the
past gives Grace a vision of her future, a vision she uses to change the
course of her history. When Grace tells Sharon that she terminated an
engagement after Will disapproved of the man, Sharon confronts
Grace with "Because god forbid there should be any other man in
your life besides Will." Sharon recognizes that coupledom has pre-
vented her and Joseph from exploring the potential range of their
pleasures, locking them into a life of frustrated resentment. Will and
Grace seem to learn their lesson from this trip down memory lane:
several episodes later, Will encourages Grace to pursue a relationship
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"AH, YES, I REMEMBER IT WELL" | 175
with her new romantic interest, Nathan, and in the process meets a
man he has admired bashfully from afar. Will and Grace use the past,
strategically, to avoid the exclusive interdependence of the conven-
tional couple that has doomed Joseph and Sharon.
Of course, Grace's immediate history always held a potentially
"queer" future. Her own mother, Bobbi (played by Debbie Reynolds),
is never depicted with her husband; instead, we see her with her
effeminate accompanist, with whom she performs a camp repertoire
of show tunes and disco hits. Although Grace asserts her difference
from her mother, they both share a love of gay men and the culture
they produce (Bobbi asks Grace, "What do the boys make out to these
days? Is it still Judy?").39 Unlike Grace's often fraught relation with
gay men, Bobbi takes self-affirming pleasure in that relation, seeing
it as compatible with more conventional connections (Bobbi has a
husband and children). Grace's past, rightly remembered, thus offers
her another means of escape from Sharon's frustrations into the plea-
sures and possibilities of a queer future.
Grace, in a later episode, offers Will a similar view into his queer
future, giving him a visit to a clairvoyant, Psychic Sue, as a birthday
gift. Sue predicts that Will will be contacted by a "strawberry blonde"
with whom he once had a relationship and to whom he never got a
chance to say goodbye. When she identifies this blonde as a "she,"
Will dismisses Sue's predictions as heterosexist smoke and mirrors,
only to return home to find a package from his mother containing
the collar of his beloved childhood pet, a strawberry blonde dog who
died while Will was away at college. Sue has plunged Will back into
his past, and his memory, like virtually all his memories, is at best
bittersweet, associating affection with loss and disappointment. It is
Grace who queers Will's memory: when he takes out the dog collar
and announces it belonged to "Ginger," Grace asks, "That drag queen
you and Jack hung out with last summer?" Will's memory takes him
to his nuclear family, always for him a site of pain. Grace's comment,
however, suggests a competing history: not of pain but of pleasure,
not of heterosexuality but of queer gender-bending, not of childhood
innocence but of adult sexual play. Above all, the memory Grace
evokes is collective, involving not just Jack but also someone with
at best a contingent relation to Will's life (someone he "hung out
with" for a summer) who has nevertheless functioned as a source of
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"AH, YES, I REMEMBER IT WELL" | 177
Bob) but are not restricted to them. Our memories take us, then, to
places and people who, in our past, gave us pleasure (sexual plea-
sure, perhaps, but also the pleasure of good conversation, new expe-
riences, fresh perspectives). These people and places are often erased
by conventional sources of memory (albums featuring photos only of
weddings, babies, or family gatherings), but their memories are car-
ried by the traces of mass culture that allowed us to meet them in the
first place and that gave us a shared vocabulary of remembrance.
These cultural sources carry the memories of collective pleasure,
whether in Bobbi's rendition of the disco hit "Gloria," in Karen's cita-
tions of Gypsy, or Grace's reference to drag, any one-or all-of
which recall a history of gender nonconformity and campy defiance.
Out of these memories, Will and Grace forms a new community and
invites us, if we're willing to let the memories be ours as well, to
share its pleasures.
Debates over gay history and identity can make us feel that we mu
choose sides. What'll it be: memory or amnesia, community or cou
pledom, subculture or assimilation? One of the pleasures of Will
and Grace is its use of humor to stage an optimistic hope for a resolu-
tion of debilitating debates within the gay community between the
positions Michael Warner describes as "the dignified homosexual"
and the "queer who flaunts his sex and his faggotry, making the
dignified homosexual's stigma all the more justifiable in the eyes of
straights."41 In place of this antagonistic scenario, Will and Grace re-
peatedly shows Jack pulling Will from his isolation, encouraging him
into rehearsals of gay memory. Together they recall sexual exploits
and perform apparently spontaneous yet carefully choreographed
campy duets that suggest Will's unacknowledged store of gay mem-
ory. In return, Will protects Jack, providing him the emotional and
financial support that allow him to pursue his more transgressive
behaviors. This rapprochement between forms of gay identity that
are often presented as antagonistic is crucial to the show's appeal,
defusing a disabling sense of incoherence not only among different
kinds of gay men, but within individuals defining their own sexual
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178 | CHRISTOPHER CASTIGLIA AND CHRISTOPHER REED
identity. "I am totally like Will, but I have a flouncing Jack inside of
me waiting to come out and meet people," reads one posting in the
show's chat room.42
Another aspect of Will and Grace's appeal is its delight in explor-
ing the bonds between certain forms of gay male and straight female
identity and, by extension, the validation it offers for relationships
between gay men and straight women, reversing the pejorative view
of both parties implied in the common epithet "faghag."43 The affir-
mation Will and Grace offers a queer community of gay men and their
straight women friends does not depend primarily on plot, however.
Other television shows have presented supposedly gay characters
in friendship plots without gaining the powerful allegiance of gay
viewers (the short-lived Normal, Ohio, which ran during Will and
Grace's third season, for example). What Will and Grace offers beyond
demographic representation is a range of relationships to gay mem-
ory and identity, and, most important, the continual, delighted, and
delightful engagement of the audience in the dynamics of queer iden-
tity formation through memory. As references to the gay past and
contemporary queer mores whiz past, we recognize, we recall, we
repeat these remarks in ways that value not only the specific allu-
sions to elements of gay history, but the related strategies of campy
interpretation and performance that lie at the heart of gay identity.
Will and Grace's role in identity formation is reflected in many
remarks posted in chat rooms dedicated to the show, where the
recognition-recall-repeat dynamic is described again and again. The
question, "Are any guys/girls in a 'Will and Grace' friendship?"
elicited such responses as:
It's scary sometimes because a lot of the things that happen on the show
resemble things that have happened to us.... Sometimes we all get
together and have Will and Grace night at someone's house.
My best friends ARE most definitely Will and Grace, no doubt about it.
We love the show and although we can't always be together to watch it,
we always analyze it soon after. And we are always quoting the show.
My best friend and I watch the show together every week and more and
more I see W&G jokes popping into our every day conversations! We
continue to frighten people wherever we go.44
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"AH, YES, I REMEMBER IT WELL" 179
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180 | CHRISTOPHER CASTIGLIA AND CHRISTOPHER REED
JACK: He'll never teach me to ride a bike or throw a ball or kiss a man.
I'm totally alone.
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"AH, YES, I REMEMBER IT WELL" I 181
WILL: Jack, what have you really lost here? I mean, it would have been
great if you'd gotten to know him, but he wasn't part of your life before,
he's not part of your life now. What's really changed?
JACK: But I loved him.
WILL: But you didn't know him.
JACK: But I loved him.
WILL: Maybe you loved the idea of him.
We're born, we grow, we live, we die. If we're lucky, we have family and
friends who know us and love us. I never knew my dad. But it doesn't
matter, because wherever we go and whatever we do, we know that the
spirit of the mother and the spirit of the father are alive in each of us,
that everything good already exists within ourselves. So, here's to Joe,
the father in all of us.
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182 | CHRISTOPHER CASTIGLIA AND CHRISTOPHER REED
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"AH, YES, I REMEMBER IT WELL" I 183
Notes
Funding for the research and writing of this paper was provided by the Gay and
Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation Center for the Study of Media and Society.
Additional research funding was provided by the Richter Scholar Program of
Lake Forest College. For their support and contributions to this essay, we would
like to thank Ron Gregg and our research assistants, Ryan Inton and Becca Shrier.
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184 | CHRISTOPHER CASTIGLIA AND CHRISTOPHER REED
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"AH, YES, I REMEMBER IT WELL" I 185
to the coming out (as described by Gross, Up from Visibility, 157-58, and Walters,
All the Rage, 83) left little time for their development before the show's cancella-
tion. What Walters describes as the "snatches of gay life" in the last shows of
the season (88-90) did manifest many of the dynamics we find in Will and Grace,
however.
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186 | CHRISTOPHER CASTIGLIA AND CHRISTOPHER REED
life" (in Stuart Elliot, "Advertising," New York Times, November 28, 2000). Main-
stream TV critics bought this claim, rehearsing clich6s of the "hard-hitting" Queer
as Folk as praiseworthy for the realistic "fullness of the characters" in contrast to
the "role-model material" of shows like Will and Grace, and quoting Queer as Folk's
executive producer on the need "to be honest" (Steve Johnson, "On Television:
On the Gaydar," Chicago Tribune, November 30, 2000).
29. In yet another rehearsal of memory, NBC reran the premier of Will and
Grace during prime time on April 12,2001.
30. The NBC chat room devoted to the show reveals that Jack and Karen's
relationship at least equals-and threatens to overwhelm-the draw of the
show's original couple. Discussion threads "Will & Grace or Jack & Karen?" and
"Who's funnier Will and Grace or Jack and Karen" elicited only responses favor-
ing Jack and Karen (typical among them, "I have been calling it [the show] Jack &
Karen for a long time now"), with the exception of two participants who tactfully
urged that the two pairs were equally funny. See also the discussion thread "Who
loved that episode?"
31. "To Serve and Disinfect" (season 2, episode 7).
32. The pioneering attempt at definition, Susan Sontag's 1964 "Notes on
Camp" (reprinted in A Susan Sontag Reader [New York: Vintage, 1983], 105-19) is
largely a list of examples. Sontag's pre-Stonewall assumption that camp was
apolitical has been supplanted by numerous scholars; see especially Andrew
Ross, "Uses of Camp," in No Respect: Intellectuals and Popular Culture (New York:
Routledge, 1989), 135-70; and three anthologies: Fabio Cleto, ed., Camp: Queer
Aesthetics and the Performing Self-A Reader (Edinburgh: Edinburgh University
Press, 1999); Moe Meyer, ed., The Politics and Poetics of Camp (New York: Rout-
ledge, 1994); and David Bergman, ed., Camp Grounds: Style and Homosexuality
(Amherst: University of Massachusetts Press, 1993).
33. "I Never Promised You an Olive Garden" (season 2, episode 3). The
power of this image of camp mentorship is registered in such chat room postings
as "My favorite episode was when Jack came to the rescue of the young boy in
the school hallway. We all could have used a Jack when we were that age!"
(http: / /htmlgear.lycos.com).
34. Jack's attitude toward his "theft"-acknowledging but unconcerned-
implies a queer critique of the dominant culture's valorization of individuality in
several ways. First, mainstream culture grants married heterosexuals a notion of
collective property that it denies gay couples; if Jack and Bjorn were straight and
married, the fact that this product was Bjorn's idea would be less troubling. Sec-
ond, Jack reveals the fallacy behind presumptions that capitalism or the law rep-
resents the triumph of "originality": the jingles he recycles in his performance
are attractive because they are repeated in commercials, and the legal case the
investors threaten Jack with would be built on a derivative notion of precedent.
35. For a strong critique of niche marketing, see Alexandra Chassin, Selling
Out: The Gay and Lesbian Movement Goes to Market (New York: St. Martin's, 2000),
101-43. Chassin acknowledges "leaving aside" issues of gay and lesbian "cultural
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"AH, YES, I REMEMBER IT WELL" I 187
expression, taste, subjectivity, and lifestyle" (xx). For the argument that Will and
Grace, along with other American television and film, presents assimilationist
queer characters that leave mainstream viewers' prejudices unchallenged, see
James Keller, Queer (Un)Friendly Film and Television (Jefferson, N.C.: McFarland,
2002).
36. This case has been made particularly strongly for the niche-marketed
physique magazines of the 1950s and 1960s. These offered men "membership" (as
subscriptions were called) in a community that valued homoeroticism along with
other pleasures of the body and challenged authoritative legal and medical defi-
nitions of normality and probity, creating a far closer precedent to the activist
forms of gay community that emerged in the late 1960s than the earnestly assim-
ilationist political magazines. Though the circulation of the physique magazines
were hundreds of times greater than that of the political periodicals, political his-
tories of the gay movement have been blinded to their influence by assumptions
of the apolitical nature of mass culture (to the extent of ignoring and denying the
political commentary that accompanied the beefcake pictures). See Christopher
Nealon, Foundlings: Lesbian and Gay Historical Emotion before Stonewall (Durham,
N.C.: Duke University Press, 2001), 99-139.
37. Until recently, the most enabling queer scholarship on film and televi-
sion explicated depictions of homosexuality not named as such in mainstream
film and television. The chapter "The Way We Weren't" in Vito Russo's pioneer-
ing The Celluloid Closet: Homosexuality in the Movies (New York: Harper & Row,
1981) set a standard for this kind of work; another valuable example is Richard
Dyer, The Matter of Images: Essays on Representations (London: Routledge, 1993).
38. A partial catalog might include the African-American girl Jack competes
with on e-Bay, a trick named Mipanko and his unnamed father, a delivery boy,
a temperance-oriented soccer mom, an INS officer, a crowd of "recovering" gays
and lesbians, Martina Navratilova, a crew of ballet-dancing cater-waiters, a gay-
acting heterosexual named Scott, a weeping woman in a bar, and a porn director.
39. "Whose Mom Is It, Anyway" (season 2, episode 5).
40. "Gypsies, Tramps, and Weed" (season 3, episode 7).
41. Michael Warner, The Trouble with Normal: Sex, Politics, and the Ethics of
Queer Life (Cambridge: Harvard University Press, 1999), 32.
42. Thread: "Which character do you relate to the best? Why?"
43. This validation has been a long time coming, as television lags behind
social trends registered in well-known sociological studies since the 1970s; see
Rebecca Nahas and Myra Turley, The New Couple: Women and Gay Men (New York:
Seaview, 1979); and Catherine Whitney, Uncommon Lives: Gay Men and Straight
Women (New York: Plume, 1990).
44. In addition to these responses to the thread "Are any guys/girls in a
'Will and Grace' relationship?" other posters identify with the Karen/Jack duo.
One woman posted, "My friend Joel is my 'Just Jack.' He's every girl's best
friend" (thread: "Will & Grace or Jack & Karen"). Another female viewer
acknowledged, "While watching Will & Grace, I never wanted to be a gay man so
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188 | CHRISTOPHER CASTIGLIA AND CHRISTOPHER REED
badly." Not surprisingly, she identifies especially with Jack: "I love Jack (sounds
corny but true)!!!!!!" (http://htmlgear.lycos.com). Another female viewer writes,
"I'd have to say I'm a lot like Jack. Which is kinda sad because I'm a 13 year old
female and he's a 30 year old gay guy. Ah, it doesn't bother me, but he acts like I
do in so many ways (which may be why I love him so much) he could maybe
even pass for my brother or something"-the "or something" here reveals the
glimmer in this young viewer's mind of a possibility for a relationship outside
the norms of the nuclear family (thread: "Which character do you relate to the
best? Why?"). The fluidity of identifications fostered by Will and Grace is truly
queer and clearly contradicts assumptions that all gay people identify with "pos-
itive images" like the one presented by the character of Will, or that only gay
men benefit from the forms of identification and self-esteem arising from gay-
identified cultural forms like camp and cruising.
45. http://htmlgear.lycos.com.
46. Threads: "Is it the gay thing or do we really like the show?" and "Which
character do you relate to the best? Why?"
47. This point is made repeatedly in the chat rooms: one participant charac-
terizes Will and Grace as "show[ing] two gay men who only kiss and have sex with
women.... I appreciate Will and Grace. I'd just appreciate it more if they didn't
shy away from being gay" (thread: "Gay Representation on TV"); see also thread
"Kiss Tally."
48. Season 3, episode 20.
49. "Sons and Lovers" (season 3, episode 22).
50. Nealon, Foundlings, 13.
51. Lipsitz, Time Passages, 16, 9.
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