Submitted By:

Bangalan, Naomi P.
Salamat Joannah V.
Sale Michael Justine

Submitted To:
Professor Gerard Penaranda

Persef2 S18

Date of Submission:
February 24, 2016

Introduction

The thought of marriage is still far from our minds as young adults and college students. The
pressure of getting married and starting a family will probably creep in once we hit our mid-
twenties. For now, our perception of marriage is what we see from our parents, relatives,
and friends who are already married. When we asked each other for a personal definition of
marriage, our answers were more of ideas and expectations rahter than a clear definition.
As a group, we have similar expectations about marriage and family life some not well.
Some of our expectations are probably clouded by our young minds, such as the fact that
being married means less freedom; we wont have time for our friends and other more
single appropriate activities. In relation, we immediately connected marriage with having
children; again, the thought of responsibility and less freedom frightened us. Nonetheless,
we also expect it to be one of the happiest moments in our lives since we are finally with a
person we love so much that we choose to bind ourselves with them for the rest of our
lives. However, we also acknowledge the fact that marriages, nowadays, end up in legal
separation. This unfortunate fact, however, did not tarnish our perception about the beauty
of marriage. In fact, it made us want to work harder on our romantic relationships. We all
agreed that we would ascertain that our relationship is already solid, strong, and honest,
without an ounce of doubt and uncertainty before we get married. To get further
information and get more insight about marriage, we interviewed two married couples: one
who has been married for six years and one for an astounding thirty years.

For the interview, we chose questions that we were personally interested in knowing the
answers to. In a way, we used this opportunity to gather information that we knew would
help us once we decide to get married. Besides the questions about marital problems,
parents-in-law problems, and parenting, we also asked about dating duration and whether
or not it is a relevant factor in a long-lasting marriage. This interview helped us gain new
knowledge through the different background and experiences of the couples.

PROFILE OF THE INTERVIEWEES

First Couple: Mr. Paul Fajardo & Mrs. Via Marie Fajardo

Mr.& Mrs. Fajardo are both 29 years old. Theyve been married for 6 beautiful years. Mr.
Fajardo works as a manager at PNB Bank while Mrs. Fajardo is a housewife. They have one
child who is currently at grade 3. Both of them are graduates of De La Salle University. Mrs.
Fajardo took up Bachelor in Science Entrepreneur while Mr. Fajardo took up Bachelor in
Science Finance. Mr. and Mrs. Fajardo are childhood friends. Theyve known each other
since grade school and theyve been high school sweethearts. They got married at the age of
twenty-three and at that time Mrs. Fajardo was pregnant with their first born child. Nobody
objected marriage because each others family knew that at one point they were going to
get married. However, they were not expecting the baby to come first before the marriage.
They are each others first and last.

Mrs. Fajardo are friends with Joannah and Naomi, it was convenient for the group to find a
couple who fits the requirement, which a married couple for 10 years. They happily agreed
to be interviewed by the group. They wanted to share their love story to us college students
and to tell everyone that marriage is a huge responsibility.

Second Couple: Mr. Elvis Abellera & Mrs. Rhuena Abellera

Mr. Abellera is 65 years old and Mrs. Abellera is 61 years old. Theyve been married
for 29 wonderful years. They fruit of their marriage are their two beautiful daughters. One
of their daughters is soon to be married this March. Mr. Abellera is a professor at a college
in Laguna. He is a graduate of Adamson University with a Bachelor in Science Electronics and
Communication Engineer. Mrs. Abellera is managing their family business in Laguna. She is a
graduate of Adamson University with a degree in Bachelor in Science Business Management.
They met during their college days. They were introduced by a common friend.

Mrs. Abellera is Naomis aunt. She is the older sister of Naomis father. Scheduling an
interview was a challenge since Mr. & Mrs. Abellera lives in Laguna while Naomi lives in
Marikina. The only available time for them was Sunday so they decided to meet up with
Naomi on a Sunday to do the interview. The couple gladly agreed to answer all the
questions because they want to share their insights on how to have a long lasting
relationship.
Comparative Analysis

In our interviews of the couples, Mr. and Mrs. Fajardo and Mr. and Mrs. Abellara, we saw
slight differences and similarities regarding their viewpoints on marriage and child
upbringing. They had different views on divorce, courtship, and maturity. A common
ground, however, was found with regards to child upbringing.

Up to this day, the Philippines only has relative divorce or legal separation, the idea of
absolute divorce remains controversial. In the Fajardos opinion, divorce should only be an
option when serious grounds such as physical violence, psychological incapacity, and grossly
abusive conduct are involved. The Abellaras on the other hand, do not agree with divorce
completely, but are open to the Philippines law on legal separation, only if, similar to the
views of the Fajardos, domestic violence is involved.

There was a clear distinction between the two couples view on the length of courtship. For
the Fajardos, it does not matter for they believe that every relationship is unique. In their
opinion, sometimes you immediately know whether or not you will spend the rest of your
life with another person. For the Abellaras, however, courtship is the foundation of a good
relationship. This distinction may stem from the fact that the Fajardos are significantly
younger than the Abellaras.

In connection with the length of courtship, they also had different views on young people
getting married. The Fajardos married quite young - the age of 23. For Mrs. Fajardo, some
really young people are already mature enough to handle a marriage and a family. In
contrast, Mr. Abellara believes that emotional maturity comes with age. Again, opposing
views regarding this may be due to them coming from different generations.

In their answers, we also see the Abellaras strong faith. This may be the reason for their
more conservative view points. Almost every single one of their answers had some kind of
relation with their faith. Both couples, however, stressed the importance of attending mass
every Sunday as a complete family.

In regards to marriage, the two couples answered almost exactly the same when asked
about marital problems and parents-in-law. They try to fix and resolve their problems
before it escalates to a bigger issue. In addition, both couples shared the same sentiment
regarding the involvement of parents-in-law: minimal.

The couples also had similar views regarding child upbringing. Both couples do not think
that an overbearing parent is healthy for the child. In this regard, the Abellaras showed
quite a liberal standpoint. They, like the Fajardos, answered that children should see them
as members of their barkadas with boundaries, of course. The two couples want to
create a loving, and trusting atmosphere for their children. Both of them also diverted from
the Filipinos cultural views regarding success, they will fully support their childrens chosen
career path. For both, success is not about the jobs prestige, it is the happiness you get with
whatever job you are doing. The generation gap may divide these two couples in regards to
marriage; however, even the more conservative of the two are willing to adjust their
parenting style in regards to their children.

Summary

The group chose the first option which is to interview two traditional couples. The objective
is to gain insights from two traditional couples with a difference in length of marriage.
Having been married for 6 year, Mr. and Mrs. Fajardo is what we can call the modern day
parents of this generation. They had some insights about marriage that we didnt get from
Mr. and Mrs. Abellera, who has been together for twenty-nine years. One of the insight that
we got from the Fajardos are their point of view about divorce. They are more openly
accepting about divorce than the Abelleras. However, the Abelleras are open to legal
separation.

The happiness, satisfaction, parenting method and difficulties were all taken into
consideration during the interview and most of the responses are more liberal compared to
the conventional idea of parenting in the Philippines. Instead of being an authoritarian and
absolute figure like what the usual Filipino parents are, both of the Fajardos and Abelleras
like the idea of a barkada type connection with their children but with restrictions and
limitations. They like the idea of instilling a harmonious relationship between parent and
child which is a good modern parenting technique to avoid their children, distancing
themselves.

Every marriage is unique. Each has its own happiness, struggles and challenges in life. They
may differ in their opinions on how to deal with each situation, but at the end of the day
what matters the most is each other. The family that they have is the most important
element in their lives. Parents work to provide for their family. Children study to make their
parents proud. These actions are equivalent to how much to care and love each other.

Appendices

Interview Guide:

1.Kindly tell us your love storyhow you met, and decided that you were meant for each
other.

2. What were the factors that you considered about your wife/husband-to-be before you
decided to marry her/him?

3.Do you think the length of courtship matters in the success of marriage?

4.What are the things about your spouse that surprised you because you did not know or
see it about him/her before you got married?

5.How do you handle conflict between you? Please recall the last time you had a conflict
and tell us how you handled it.

6.Hows your relationship with your parents-in-law? To what extent should in-laws be
involved in the relationship of a married couple?
7.Was there ever a time in your married life that, because of difficulties or problems, you
entertained the idea of leaving your partner? (If yes What was the problem and what
happened?)

8.In your opinion, what factors inside the marriage can contribute to possible infidelity
problems in one or both of the partners?

9. We are currently the only country in the world without a divorce law. What is your stand
about the prospect of also having divorce in our country?

10. What do you say is the measure of a good parent?

11. Should parents just be on the same barkada level of relationship that their children
have with their friends, or should there be some boundaries between them? Pls. explain
your answer.

12. Does your parenting style reflect the way you were raised by your own parents?

13. What are the adjustments that you needed to make as a couple when your first child
came into the picture? How did you go about it?

14. How do you maintain the closeness between you and your children? On the other hand,
how do you balance your time between your spouse and your children?

15. On a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being the lowest and 10 being the highest, how would you rate
your own level of happiness with your current family life? Whats the reason behind your
rating?

16. When did you feel like it was the right time for you to get married? (Ex. Did your age
come as a deciding factor?)

17. What are your thoughts about young people (18-24 years old) getting married?

18. Did you immediately want to start a family after the marriage or did you take some
time to enjoy married life first?

19. In our culture, we define success as graduating university and becoming doctors,
lawyers, or engineers. Do you agree with this? What will you do if your child wants to
pursue a career that you do not agree with?

20. what are the hardships and circumstances that youve faced along the way leading to
marriage?

21. And what are the greatest marital problems that made rifts on your marriage?

22. Should parenting adjust based on the personality of your child?

23. How do you deal with teenage rebellion?

24. How would you react if you discover your child engaging in a secret relationship?

25. Would your response to number 9 differ depending if your child is a boy or a girl?

Transcription of the Resonses:

First Couple

1.Kindly tell us your love storyhow you met, and decided that you were meant for each
other.

Via Fajardo: Weve known each other since elementary and been together since highschool.
Ive been very careful who to say yes to as my boyfriend, since i am the type of person who
doesnt want breaking up and choosing another one again and again. Ive always believed
that love and marriage is not a matter of who you are meant to be with, it is something you
both build and take care of, and i can tell that we love each other enough to work hard and
keep the relationship alive

2. What were the factors that you considered about your wife/husband-to-be before you
decided to marry her/him?

Via :Love, a little bit of compatibility.

Paul: Pero not in the sense of we are like each other, it is actually the opposite
Via: We just say that we complement each other, haha.

3.Do you think the length of courtship matters in the success of marriage?

Via:No, i always tell people who envy our years, that it doesnt always work that way, as
every relationship is unique.
Paul: Sometimes you just know, eh.

4.What are the things about your spouse that surprised you because you did not know or
see it about him/her before you got married?

Via: Hes finding it hard to say sorry, i was offended during our first years of marriage, but
i realize that its not the words, rather his actions that shows he is sorry. Honestly i found it
better and appreciated it more that those who keeps on saying sorry but not meaning it.
Paul: I wasn't surprised with anything. She's still the same.

5.How do you handle conflict between you? Please recall the last time you had a conflict
and tell us how you handled it.
Via :When we were together before marriage i keep a one day rule- that no matter how big
the fight was, we have to make up before the day ends. When we got married we realized
that to really resolve a conflict we have to give each other time to resolve things, get over it
and actually mean forgiving the other, not just make-up for the sake of making-up.
Paul: It's normal and healthy for couples to fight. We fight all the time, but not major, ha. I
don't keep track on our fights.

6.Hows your relationship with your parents-in-law? To what extent should in-laws be
involved in the relationship of a married couple?

Via: Since weve known each other for a long time, relationship with the in-laws were
never a problem.
Paul : Even if they get informed of any problems or fights between us, we make sure that we
resolve it on our own.
Via: To that extent Lang, support. We make sure that we handle problems and fights on our
own - para kami Lang involved and di na masama ang Iba.
7.Was there ever a time in your married life that, because of difficulties or problems, you
entertained the idea of leaving your partner? (If yes What was the problem and what
happened?)

Via: No, if you marry the person for the right reasons and with your own will, you dont
get to abandon them in worse times, no matter how big the problem is; you will always find
ways to solve it.
Paul: Yeah, you don't abandon the love of your life. Never Kong naisip yan.

8.In your opinion, what factors inside the marriage can contribute to possible infidelity
problems in one or both of the partners?

Via :Lack of respect, trust and contentment.

9. We are currently the only country in the world without a divorce law. What is your stand
about the prospect of also having divorce in our country?

Via: We agree, but it should be for those in a dangerous relationship.

Paul:Yung mga married to serial killers or rapist, o abusive men. Does that makes sense?
Haha.

10. What do you say is the measure of a good parent?

Via:A good parent is someone who lets their child choose without meddling, but also there
to guide them and pick them up if they are to fall.
Paul: Yung ganun, not too smothering. Pero will love and help their children always.
11. Should parents just be on the same barkada level of relationship that their children
have with their friends, or should there be some boundaries between them? Pls. explain
your answer.

Via: It can always be a barkada relationship if you are able to teach your kids the right
meaning of respect.

Paul: If your kids respect you, they will do things not because they fear you, but because
they respect you, and boundaries will never have to be boundaries anymore.

12. Does your parenting style reflect the way you were raised by your own parents?

Paul: Yes and no, we edit.

Via: We do not edit to aim for perfection as parents, but as much as possible we want to
explore different areas of parenthood, besides kids our time were different to kids this days,
you really have to be flexible and edit your parenting skills to able to keep up.

13. What are the adjustments that you needed to make as a couple when your first child
came into the picture? How did you go about it?

Via: The lifestyle, when it was just the two of us, oh my, movies twice a week, dining out
almost every night. When you get a plus one, it is not just about what you want, you have to
consider the child, and how she depends on your every decision. Maturity wise, we still
think that a little bit of immaturity can be good sometimes.
Paul: we do not want to be strict to Olivia since we are aiming for her respect and not her
fear.

14. How do you maintain the closeness between you and your children? On the other hand,
how do you balance your time between your spouse and your children?

Via: We keep a date night strictly for just the two of us, but i make sure that our sunday is
us going to mass and then eating out or going out (bonding). We also make sure that we ask
Olivia how her day was and what she did while we are not with her, to ensure her that she
matters even if we are not constantly beside her.
Paul: *agrees*

15. On a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being the lowest and 10 being the highest, how would you rate
your own level of happiness with your current family life? Whats the reason behind your
rating?

Via: 9, like ive said we do not aim for perfection, besides, we keep the missing 1 as a
motivation to strive harder every day.
Paul: Ganun? Haha.

16.When did you feel like it was the right time for you to get married? (Ex. Did your age
come as a deciding factor?)
 Via: It was mostly about our date preference, but as much as possible we did not plan
about being married when we were just a couple, coz we dont want to jinx it.
Paul: Like I said kanina, we just realized that we both really wanted to get married and it just
happened, we did get married

17. What are your thoughts about young people (18-24 years old) getting married?

Paul: We got married at 23, and it was okay.

Via: Age does not really equates with maturity, as long as it is not against their will, that they
are both prepared with the marriage life, and most especially they love each other, then i
guess they are ready for marriage.

18.Did you immediately want to start a family after the marriage or did you take some time
to enjoy married life first?

Well for us, we already wanted a child since it is one of my fears- not to have one. We
already enjoyed us for quite a while as a couple.

19.In our culture, we define success as graduating university and becoming doctors, lawyers,
or engineers. Do you agree with this? What will you do if your child wants to pursue a career
that you do not agree with?

Success is subjective, and a person who is really successful is measured through

happiness. As long as our Olivia is happy- and not in any sort of danger- then i we will
support her.

20. What are the hardships and circumstances that youve faced along the way leading to
marriage?

Paul: Well we did not anticipate how hard to manage time and money at first.
Via: especially when i studied again, but we eventually learned how to

21. What are the greatest marital problems that made rifts on your marriage?

Via: Theres nothing big yet, but we already talked about this- that if ever we are to face
one big problem, as long as we are assured with the love and respect for each other, then
well do whatever it takes to overcome it- afterall, problems are just a natural part of
marriage, and sometimes it keeps things interesting.
Paul: Yeah, nothing major. We try to resolve conflicts kaagad, as much as possible.

22. Should parenting adjust based on the personality of your child?

Both: Yes.
Via: Different personalities need different techniques. Para easier for the both of you.

23. How do you deal with teenage rebellion?

Via: Before it even happens, we will not do something that would make her want to rebel.
Paul: Baby pa si Olivia. Honestly, Hindi ko alam Kung anong Gagawin KO, haha.
24.How would you react if you discover your child engaging in a secret relationship?

Via: We would just talk to her calmly to make sure that my child is safe.
Paul: Kill the guy? Joke. Talk to her and make sure that she knows that she can trust us.

25.Would your response to number 9 differ depending if your child is a boy or a girl?

Both: No.

Second couple:

1.Kindly tell us your love storyhow you met, and decided that you were meant for each
other.

Wena: Elvis and I met at the church. My friend invited me to attend their youth service and
introduced me to Elvis. He was a gentleman. He brought me home after the youth service.
Elvis: That was when it all started.

2. What were the factors that you considered about your wife/husband-to-be before you
decided to marry her/him?

Elvis: God-fearing, generous, humble

Wena: God-fearing, financially stable

3.Do you think the length of courtship matters in the success of marriage?

Yes. It is when you get to know the person more. This will test the guys patience. It will help
you discover the things you really want from the guy.
Elvis: Dito, youll see the other side of the person youre courting.
Wena: Answering the guy immediately will make it seem like youre easy to get. Because
entering in a relationship is a big responsibility, if the foundation is weak then the
relationship will not last. Courtship is the foundation of every couples relationship.

4.What are the things about your spouse that surprised you because you did not know or
see it about him/her before you got married?

Elvis: How strong she was. Also, haha, she finds it hard to sleep when it's pitch black. Wena:
We had to compromise, we left the washroom light open while we sleep.
Elvis: Its was hard at first because I cant sleep when there is light.

Wena: He doesn't know how to wash the dishes. He doesn't talk to his family as much as I
do.
5.How do you handle conflict between you? Please recall the last time you had a conflict
and tell us how you handled it.

Wena: We make sure before we go to bed, we talk about the issue. We have to resolve the
conflict before we go to sleep.
Elvis: I usually say sorry first. We pray together and ask for forgiveness to our Lord. I cant
remember the last time we had a conflict, a major conflict. I think the last time we had a
conflict was about choosing which flatwares to buy. As the husband, I just agreed to my
wifes choices.

6.Hows your relationship with your parents-in-law? To what extent should in-laws be
involved in the relationship of a married couple?

Elvis: We have no problems with our in-laws. They should be involved during the first
months of a married couple, Lang.
Wena: Yes, guide them as they go through marriage.

7.Was there ever a time in your married life that, because of difficulties or problems, you
entertained the idea of leaving your partner? (If yes What was the problem and what
happened?)

Both: No.
Elvis: Pag may problema, we talk about it kaagad and we pray.

8.In your opinion, what factors inside the marriage can contribute to possible infidelity
problems in one or both of the partners?

Elvis: Not putting Jesus as the center of your marriage. Without the presence of Jesus Christ
in your relationship, infidelity might come in.
Wena: Miscommunication or no communication can ruin the relationship. The moment you
dont talk to your spouse major problems will occur.

9. We are currently the only country in the world without a divorce law. What is your stand
about the prospect of also having divorce in our country?

Wena: We dont agree with divorce but under the circumstance of domestic abuse legal
separation must be implemented.
Elvis: We already have legal separation, why divorce pa?

10. What do you say is the measure of a good parent?

Wena: When you instil the teachings of the bible to your child.
Elvis: When they grow up to be the person you prayed for them to be. Kind and God fearing.

11. Should parents just be on the same barkada level of relationship that their children
have with their friends, or should there be some boundaries between them? Pls. explain
your answer.
Elvis: Barkada with boundaries.
Wena: We as parents should be the first person your child would run for help. Our children
must be open with their problems and inquiries with us. Children must feel safe and secure
sharing their secrets with us. They may not say the whole secret but atleast an overview of
the secret or anything that is happening with their lives.

12. Does your parenting style reflect the way you were raised by your own parents?

Both: Yes.
Elvis: definitely, I think Hindi maiiwasan yun.

13. What are the adjustments that you needed to make as a couple when your first child
came into the picture? How did you go about it?

Wena: We had to sacrifice sleep. I had to stay at home to take care of our child.
Elvis: We had less date nights. Instead thinking about ourselves we had to think about our
child as well. We took turns in taking care of our baby.
Wena: We had to seek a little bit of help with our parents. New parents e, and they're
experts na, haha.

14. How do you maintain the closeness between you and your children? On the other hand,
how do you balance your time between your spouse and your children?

Wena: We talk to them everyday. We ask them about their day.

Elvis: An we make sure sunday is really family day. We also schedule our date nights -Atleast
once a week we go on a date.

15. On a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being the lowest and 10 being the highest, how would you rate
your own level of happiness with your current family life? Whats the reason behind your
rating?

WENA: 10. I am always thankful for the blessings God has given me. My family is my
happiness, without them life will have no meaning.
Elvis: definitely, 10. Couldn't ask for more.

16. When did you feel like it was the right time for you to get married? (Ex. Did your age
come as a deciding factor?)

Wena: When I started wanting to have children.

Elvis: When you start envisioning your whole life with her. I prayed for Gods perfect plan
for us.

17. What are your thoughts about young people (18-24 years old) getting married?

Wena: I think they are not ready to take this huge responsibility.
Elvis: I theyre too young to be ready. Emotional Maturity is important.
18. Did you immediately want to start a family after the marriage or did you take some time
to enjoy married life first?

WENA: We immediately started a family when we got married.

19. In our culture, we define success as graduating university and becoming doctors,
lawyers, or engineers. Do you agree with this? What will you do if your child wants to
pursue a career that you do not agree with?

Wena: As long as you become successful with whatever path you take for us that is success.
Our children took up the course they wanted without us stopping them.
Elvis: we believe that a child will be successful if she pursues what she really want. And it
showed with our children, they become successful with the courses they took up during
college.

20. What are the hardships and circumstances that youve faced along the way leading to
marriage?

Both: Financial problems.

21. And what are the greatest marital problems that made rifts on your marriage?

Wena :None.
Elvis: dapat and small fights Hindi na pinapalaki. So, none.

22. Should parenting adjust based on the personality of your child?

Elvis: Yes. Every child is unique.

Wena: Oo naman, not every kid adheres to just one genius (music, math,etc), a parent
should encourage and support their kids as long as what they want is safe.

23. How do you deal with teenage rebellion?

Elvis. Just pray for the Lord to guide them.

Wena: Talk to the child in an understanding manner.

24. How would you react if you discover your child engaging in a secret relationship?

Elvis: As much as possible we will create an atmosphere in the house where she can be free
to share anything, with this i hope shell never find a reason not to open up to us.
Wena: yes, make sure she knows we are not her enemies n

25. Would your response to number 9 differ depending if your child is a boy or a girl?

Both :No. &

Photos During The Interview
With the first couple:

(Other groupmate was not able to join due to a tredtwo activity)

With the second couple:

Reflection Papers:
Salamat Joannah V.

The big white wedding cake, the princess-like gown, your prince charming waiting down the
aisle, that fairy tale moment this is every girls dream; however, not mine. Ever since I was
a child, I can honestly say that I never imagined my dream wedding, never joined my friends
when they tried to act out a wedding, never once said that I wanted to marry my puppy
crush. You could say all these are quite normal reactions coming from a child; there is a
period in childhood when we start to see the other gender as the enemy, and showing
affection to them meant catching cooties. Plenty of years later, already a young adult, I
am still not fond of the idea of marriage. You can try to psychoanalyze me and say that the
fact that I came from a broken family though I have never felt it to be one is the reason
why I have this uncommon sentiment. I would deny this, of course; I had a wonderful
childhood and have never experienced my parents fighting or felt jealous about my friends
who had parents who are still together. I would say that the reason why I still hold this view
up to now is that I believe that true love does not need to be proven by formal document.
In addition, as a rational person, I acknowledge the fact that most marriages end in
separation. At times, the fact that they are married is what forces couples to stay together;
they both end up unhappy, and end up causing their children great distress. With all the
hassles and expenses that you have to go through to get a relative divorce here in the
Philippines, is it really worth it? All of these may sound like its coming from a place of
bitterness and cynicism, but I am just looking at every single possible outcome of marriage.
One of these, of course, is the amazing possibility of staying happily married until the end of
life. The fact that we interviewed a fairly young couple and a couple who has been married
for a long time gave me very interesting insights regarding this. From the interview, I found
two of these recurring themes from their answers the most interesting: the strong role of
religion in marriage, and the role of marriage in starting a family life.
In the interview, the second couple mentioned God in almost all of their answers. What
really drives them to work hard on their marriage is their religion. Their first instinct when
having marital problems is to pray. The first couple, though more liberal than the second
one, also mentioned the importance of attending mass every Sunday as a family. Living in a
country where the citizens are predominantly catholic, marriage really is the ultimate proof
of love.

Building and starting a family was also one of the main factors why both couples wanted to
get married. In a culture where your relatives ask you to the point of nagging once you
hit your mid-twenties when you will start a family, I understand that some couples may feel
pressured. As a woman, where there is a biological clock ticking, the pressure is felt even
harder. Marriage is the foundation of a family life, as stated by the law, and I completely
agree. To add more to the uncommon views that I have regarding marriage, I am also not
too fond of children and I cannot see myself having any. However, if I change my mind
regarding this, then I will also change my views on marriage. In my mind, the only good
reason to get married is when you really want to start a family.

Overall, the interviews were very inspiring and intriguing. Hearing all of their answers
opened my mind to the other side of my standpoint. In a world where legal separation has
become more common, it was amazing to hear the way these couples strive to keep their
marriages strong, honest, and exciting. My views on marriage still have not change, but love
is love; whether or not it is proven on paper or only by time, love is one of the greatest
things in life.

Bangalan, Naomi
Marriage is a responsibility. It is the beginning of a union between man and woman.
They will discover various things they didnt know about each other. After marriage,
parenting will come in. This is the stage wherein ones patience will put into test. An
addition to the unity of two people that eventually makes it a family.
Interviewing two different couples is not an easy task. My group and I had a hard
time looking for couple who would accommodate us with for the interview. Especially that
almost all the couples we invited for the interview had prior plans. Luckily, we were able to
find two amazing couples who was kind enough to share their own insights about marriage.
Having this interview made me realize that marriage is not what I think it is. Before I
use to think marriage is a burden. For me marriage is nothing but a piece of paper, a
contract, that nobody can escape from unless an unfortunate event happens with one of the
persons involved. This all changed after the interview. Now marriage for me is a beautiful
partnership. It is a blessing from the one above. It should be cherished and treasured. Yes,
there are bumps and bruises a long the way. It is inevitable but together these difficulties
will always end like the wind.
 In any relationship, there must be a strong foundation to make it last until the end. In
connection with my family, I grew up with separated parents but they did not lack in
supporting us growing up and being the best parents any child would have. Maybe my
parents broke up because the werent able to start with a strong foundation. Also, this have
may influenced my view on marriage. However, after this interview my perspective
I will put in mind all the insights I have gained during the interview before starting a
relationship. I should always bare in mind that having an intimate relationship in the future
is a huge responsibility. I should listen to my parents opinion about the guy I will be dating.
Obeying my parents decision for me will stand as a strong foundation for me and my future
boyfriend and husband to be.

Sales, Michael Justine D.J

Reflection Paper

Admittedly, this particular requirement can be quite tedious in the sense that there are so
many details that you have to take note of and pay attention to. Personally, I find the Q and
A with the two couples highly amusing, because there are some questions that yielded
similar responses yet there are parts where the couples greatly differed especially with their
idea of the right age in getting married. This just shows that aspects of marriage are always
up to debate and are always based on subjective principles and ideas. What may be good
parenting for one couple may equate to bad parenting for the other. These quirks that
married couples have are not really bad because it promotes difference in individuality and
it makes our community more diversified and varied in ideas. Individuality is something that
promotes positive change in the long run and Im glad to see people like these two couples
who have inventive and sometimes unconventional ideas in family and parenting.

Another thing thats interesting to highlight is the touch of religion that permeates families.
One couple in our interview talked about the importance of praying and letting their child
grow in good faith and of course, this sentiment is not specific to them and youll find this a
recurring characteristic in conventional Filipino families. However, the good thing is, these
parents are also willing to embrace the good parts of liberalism and are always progressive
in terms of parenting and family management. The two couples have noted that their
parenting is a work in progress that adjusts depending on each of their child because of
their different personalities and both of them are ammenable to the idea of a barkada type
relationship as long as respect goes two ways. This is really an interesting sentiment
considering that most Filipinos think of the parents as absolute figures, whose every rule is
blindly followed. It just shows that a good combination of conventionality, conservatism and
a touch of liberalism would yield a good balance thats perfect for coming up with a good
family.