SEX

Decoded and Explained

By Tom Anderson
Contents
INTRODUCTION
Who is this book for?
Whats the goal of this book?
Why did I write this book?
CHAPTER 1
SEX IS A GAME
HELP WOMEN FULFILL THEIR SEX FANTASIES
THE DARK SIDE OF SEX
CHAPTER 2
HOW WOMEN CHOOSE MEN
DON'T THINK. FEEL...
WE ARE HUNTER-GATHERERS
WHAT DO MEN LOOK FOR IN WOMEN?
WHAT DO WOMEN LOOK FOR IN MEN?
THE 4 LAWS OF SEX
First Law of Sex: Create Sexual Attraction
Second Law of Sex: Create Emotional Connection
Third Law of Sex: Create Trust
Fourth Law of Sex: Create Social Status
FACTS ABOUT THE 4 LAWS OF SEX
CHAPTER 3
SOCIAL CONDITIONING AND WHY IT KILLS ATTRACTION
THE LIBERATION OF WOMEN
THE DOMESTICATION OF MEN
HONESTY - THE ONLY SOLUTION TO SOCIAL CONDITIONING
CHAPTER 4
SEXUAL ATTRACTION
THEORY OF OPPOSITES
FEMININITY
The Passive Part of Femininity
The Active Part of Femininity
MASCULINITY
The Passive Part of Masculinity
The Active Part of Masculinity
IDENTIFICATION AND ATTRACTION
HOW TO CREATE SEXUAL ATTRACTION
Example 1: Creating arousal on a date
Example 2: Creating arousal in the bedroom
Example 3: Sadness and arousal
Sexual Attraction - Summed Up
SEXUAL ATTRACTION, VAGINAL STIMULATION AND ORGASMS
Example: Arousal and vaginal stimulation
HOW TO GIVE A WOMAN AN ORGASM - IN 3 STEPS
Step 1
 Step 2
Step 3
Sex Is More than Orgasms
CHAPTER 5
HOW TO LEAD A WOMAN, PART 1 THE BASICS
THE 3 STEPS OF LEADING
Step 1 of Leading: Feelings
Step 2 of Leading: Make a Decision
Step 3 of Leading: Your Partners Response
Example 1: Going Out to Eat
Example 2: Ass Spanking
LEADING, DOMINATING AND CONTROLLING
CHAPTER 6
EMOTIONAL CONNECTION
WHAT IS EMOTIONAL CONNECTION?
HOW TO CREATE EMOTIONAL CONNECTION
Example 1: Emotional Connection and Doggy-Style
Example 2: Emotional Connection and Blowjobs
Example 3: Emotional Connection and Lovemaking
Example 4: Emotional Connection at the Movies
HOW MUCH EMOTIONAL CONNECTION MUST YOU CREATE?
Example 1: Dinner date
Example 2: Massage
CHAPTER 7
HOW TO CHANGE A WOMAN'S EMOTIONS
CHANGING EMOTIONS INDIRECTLY
CHANGING EMOTIONS DIRECTLY
CHAPTER 8: FUCKING AND LOVEMAKING
FUCKING
LOVEMAKING
FUCKING VS. LOVEMAKING
CHAPTER 9
HOW TO LEAD A WOMAN, PART 2 - HOW TO DEAL WITH REJECTION
MIXED SIGNALS
3 reasons for mixed signals
HOW TO CREATE TRUST
COMMANDING, ASKING AND DOMINATING
CHAPTER 10
SELF-DEVELOPMENT - THE ONLY WAY TO GREAT SEX
BELIEFS
KNOWLEDGE
EXPERIENCE
PRESENCE
CHAPTER 11
HOW TO LEAD A WOMAN, PART 3 - NO DOESNT ALWAYS MEAN STOP
THE LIKE/DISLIKE CONCEPT
THE DO-IT-AGAIN CONCEPT
CHAPTER 12
THE ART OF PERSUASION (18 PERSUASION TECHNIQUES FOR THE BEDROOM)
18 PERSUASION TECHNIQUES
1. Leading
2. Repetition
3. Motivation
4. Compliments (Positive reinforcement)
5. Being patient
6. Let it become her fantasy
7. Being calm and assertive
8. Use aggression
9. "Do you trust me?"
10. "Do it for me!"
11. "I want..." or I want you to
12. "I know."
13. Freeze the situation
14. Dont stop me.
15. Knowledge and experience
16. Leading in detail
17. Have fun!
18. Right attitude (Expect a positive outcome)
APPENDIX 1
SOCIAL STATUS
SOCIAL STATUS AND STATUS SYMBOLS
What about other status symbols?
APPENDIX 2
HOW TO LEAD A WOMAN, PART 4 PATIENCE
PATIENCE, MASCULINITY AND THE STONE AGE HUNTER
PATIENCE AND ANTICIPATION
Example 1: The First Kiss
Example 2: Two Steps Forward, One Step Back
 Introduction
Who is this book for?
This book is for any man who has a deep love for women and wants to
learn how to satisfy women in bed.
Its especially helpful for men who have problems attracting and
relating to women in a sexual setting.
This book focuses on how to please women sexually. Its my belief that
most men get the greatest satisfaction in bed from satisfying women.

Whats the goal of this book?

At a basic level, all women are similar, and all women want the same
things from men. For instance, all women get turned on when a man
takes control and leads.
At a more superficial level, women are of course different from each
other. For instance, some women get turn on by a massage, while
others find a massage annoying.
In other words, at a deep level there are some universal laws when it
comes to attraction and sex. There are some things all women look for
and want from men.
The goal of this book is to teach you what all women have in common
at a basic level, and what all women search for in a sexual
relationship.
When you know what women have in common at a basic level, youll
feel confident that you can satisfy any woman youll meet.
When you meet a new sexual partner, start with the basics the laws
of sex. Just as the laws of physics are universal, the laws of sex are
universal as well they will always work. Then later on, you can find
out whats specific with your new sexual partner.
This is not a typical sex tips book, which gives you superficial advice.
After youve read this book youll understand that getting superficial
advice doesnt help, unless you first understand the basic laws of sex.

Why did I write this book?

I wrote this book simply because I had to. I had no skills with women,
and I had no idea how to satisfy women in bed.
I tried to learn about sex from sex guides and sex manuals, but they
didnt seem to help me. When I read typical sex guides, I usually get
surprised. There isnt much in them I can use. Most of them are
worthless.
As I see it, there are two different types of sex guides.
The first type is typically written by male scientists. These books are
interesting, especially for a nerd like me. The problem is that after
reading them you know everything about sex, except how to do it.
The other type is usually written by women. These books are filled with
common knowledge, such as:
- Take charge and lead your woman.
- Women are attracted to confidence.
- 20 tantric sex positions that will transform your sex life.
This didnt help me at all
Of course I know I have to lead. But tell me how, because I have no
idea. Of course women are attracted to confidence, but I dont have
any. How do I do confidence? And why do I need to know 20 sex
positions? I cant even get a woman wet.
The only books that actually taught me something practical and useful
were written by pick-up artists. These books opened up a whole new
world to me. Finally someone who could tell me how to treat women.
They could even explain the psychology behind it.
These were no-nonsense books written by men with real life
experience. The only problem with these books was that theyre about
pick-up. I wanted to satisfy women in bed.
Since great relationships and amazing sex were more important to me
than anything else in my life, I knew what I had to do. I had to learn the
theory behind sex, and find out what sex was all about. I had to write
the sex guide I always wanted to read.
A decade later, its finally done
 Chapter 1

Sex Is a Game

Really...? Sex isn't real?

No it isn't. Sex is not real life. It's just a game.
If you don't understand this, then throw your condoms in the trash, and
cancel your date for tonight. Your sex life would be a bore anyway.
Sex is like a movie.
Can you imagine watching a movie about an average guy, with an
average job, having an average day, where nothing out of the ordinary
happens?
Probably not.
Usually it is movies with bizarre storylines and unlikely characters that
are most popular. Superhero movies are good examples.
Why do we love Clark Kent aka Superman? He's out of this world
literally. Theres nothing real about him.
Or is there?
The reason why we guys love watching Clark Kent save the world is
because his feelings and emotions are real. Its all about feelings and
emotions.
Perhaps the storyline is absurd, but every man knows what Clark Kent
feels when he saves the world. If you're a woman reading this, then you
have no idea what it feels like for us guys when we have the chance to
be the hero. It's deeply ingrained in us.
That's why we love Clark Kent. We understand his feelings, and we
want to feel them too.
Having sex is like being in a movie. The things you choose to do might
be miles away from what you do in your "real life". You can even do
things that are considered sick and dirty by normal standards. The role
or character you play when having sex may be different from your daily
"average" persona.
The thing is:

Sex is a game. And that's what makes it fun and

exciting. Normal rules do not apply.
The most dreaded thing for a woman when it comes to sex is being in a
relationship with a man who doesn't treat sex as a game. Her sex life
would be a drag.
It would be like watching that movie about the average guy with the
average life every time she had sex. There would be no fun and
excitement. And what's the point of having sex without fun and
excitement? Isn't that what sex is all about - having fun.
When you understand that sex is a game, youll realize that you can do
anything with your sexual partner(s). Nothing is right or wrong
anymore. You and your girl can do whatever you feel like doing. There
are no limits anymore.
I believe the internet has been an eye-opener when it comes to sex. For
instance, only a couple of decades ago, women who liked giving
blowjobs were seen as abnormal, and maybe even sick. These kinds of
faulty and limiting beliefs couldn't survive the online porn revolution.
Today, it's more accepted that anything goes when it comes to sex.
Nothing is unnatural or unhealthy anymore. You can do anything you
feel like, as long as it's between consenting adults.
This doesnt mean you have to do something out of the ordinary. It only
means that there isn't anything wrong with you whatever you choose
to do.
When I started to learn about relating to women sexually, I
had concerns about "hurting" women. I had questions on my mind that
needed answers. Here are some of them:
- How does she know that this is just a game?
- If I call her a whore in bed, won't she get offended?
- How can she understand that I get excited when I spank her? I'm not
trying to hurt her in any way.
These types of questions are absurd from a womans point of view.
Women know instinctively that sex is a game. They only care about
what feels right in the present moment.
If your partner is highly aroused, and she knows that you love her, then
calling her a whore and spanking her will excite her. She won't care
about what's considered normal. The only thing that matters to her is
what her feelings and instincts are telling her. And right now, while
you're fucking her, she's so horny that being called a whore and being
"abused" feels both natural and normal.
When we look at men and women's sex fantasies, it becomes clear that
doing unusual and absurd things in the bedroom isn't only normal, it's
important for our mental health as well. It's a way to release our
suppressed emotions.

Help Women Fulfill Their Sex Fantasies

Here we're going to look at the close relationship between sex fantasies
and 'sex as a game'. This relationship is more important than just
learning about different kinds of female fantasies.
After finishing this book youll have a deep understanding of what
women look for when it comes to sex. But for now, forget about all the
different kinds of female sex fantasies. Instead, let us focus on how we
can help women fulfill their fantasies.
Let's choose one of the more common female (and male) sex fantasies
as an example: 'The rape fantasy'.
You may not understand why this is such a common sex fantasy for
both men and women, and that's alright. You'll understand it later. For
now, you have to trust me on this one.
It's my belief that women want to live out most of their sex fantasies,
even 'rape fantasies'. Does this mean that women secretly want to be
raped...? Of course not. Youll never find a healthy woman who wants
to be taken against her will, even though most women have these
fantasies.
If this confuses you, then you don't yet understand that sex isn't real
life, it's a game. A woman doesn't want to be raped in real life, she
wants to be "raped" through sex, together with a man she trusts.
Since she can stop her partner at any time, it's of course not rape. But
instead, it's an illusion of rape. The only part of it thats real is the
feelings she feels when she's taken with force and aggression.
Side note:
Don't confuse this with abuse. Everything in this book is based on how
to have sex in a positive and loving way.
You may ask, "What's the point? Why go to the extreme?"
These questions don't make any sense. What's the point of watching a
movie? It isn't real. And what's the point of watching a really scary
movie, when you can watch a movie that's just a little bit scary?
The thing is, it's all about feelings and emotions.
Why does a boxer love to beat the hell out of his opponent in the ring?
Well, because it feels so damn good... And why does a man love to fuck
the hell out of his wife? Yes, that's right: Because it feels so damn good.
For this to sink in, let me tell you again:

Sex is all about feelings and emotions. It's not what you
do, its what you feel.
Even though a boxer enjoys beating his opponent in the ring, it doesn't
mean he likes violence outside the ring (in the real world). And the fact
that he gets out his masculinity inside the ring, means he doesn't feel
the need to beat up innocent victims outside the ring.
It becomes a form of therapy. His suppressed masculine feelings, like
aggression and anger, are released in a safe and positive way.
It's the same with sex.
You do it for the fun of it, and you take it to the extreme because you'll
feel more. If you for example want to make tender love to your
girlfriend, you don't want her to feel a little love and intimacy. You'll
make sure she feels more love and intimacy than she's ever felt before.
You take it to the extreme.
Maybe moderation is the way to go in most parts of life. But not when
it comes to sex. There's no need to hold back on feelings and emotions
in the bedroom.
If your girlfriend enjoys being held down and taken forcefully (rape
fantasy), then let her get that satisfaction. To her, it doesn't only feel
good, it's therapeutic as well. Suppressed feminine emotions are
released, just as you release your suppressed masculine emotions by
taking her forcefully. It feels amazing for both you and your girlfriend,
and since it is a game, no one gets hurt in the process.
To illustrate the fact that you don't live out sex fantasies in real life, but
through sex, let us look at another example.
Let's say your wife is a nurse and one of her sex fantasies is to sexually
please her patients.
Pleasing others goes down to the core of femininity. And since your
wife has chosen to be a nurse, this need to please others is even
stronger in her than in most women.
How can you help your wife live out this 'need to please' fantasy?
One thing you can be certain of is that she doesnt want to live out her
fantasy in real life. There's no chance she'll start having sex with her
patients, even though that's her fantasy. She wants to live out her
fantasy in the bedroom, with someone she loves and trusts.
So, what do you do? How do you help your wife satisfy her need to
please?
It not necessary to tell your wife to put on her nurse uniform, and act
like you're her patient. That's not how most sex fantasies are lived out.
It's nothing wrong with role-playing, but it's impractical, since your wife
likely feels the need to please every time she has sex. The feeling of
pleasing is what's important to your wife, not the acting.
Do I have to tell you again? Okay, here it is:
Sex is about what you and your partner feel, not what you do.
What you actually tell her to do, can be anything. As long as she feels
the satisfaction of pleasing you. For instance, you can ask her to give
you a blowjob. Tell her how you like it, and give her plenty of
compliments as she's pleasing you.
The compliments will make her proud for doing a good (blow)job. And
also, to teach her what you like, so she knows what to do the next time
she feels the need to please you.
Another example of what you can do to help your wife live out her
'need to please' fantasy is to tell her to clean you after sex. She has
chosen to be a nurse for a reason. She loves to take care of others,
especially the one she loves.
For instance, right after you orgasm, and as you lie exhausted beside
her in bed, you may whisper into her ear, "Will you please clean me...?"
She'll be delighted to do this for the man she loves. She can do
something that's in her nature - taking care of others.
There's another interesting connection between sex fantasies and 'the
game of sex'. This is best explained with an example:
You've met this great girl and you're spending a lot of time together in
bed, trying to find out what both of you like sexually. And one of the
things you like to do in bed is having anal sex.
You find out that she's never tried anal sex. She isn't against it, she just
hasn't thought about it. And since she hasn't thought about it, anal sex
is obviously not one of her fantasies.
You realize she needs to get used to the idea, so you don't push it. It's
enough for now that she knows that you like anal sex. You give her
some time to think about it.
The next time she's alone and masturbating, it's likely she'll start
thinking and fantasizing about anal sex. This is a safe way for her to test
it out in her own head, before she eventually tries it out with you.
Even though it's a fantasy in her mind, the feelings she's experiencing
are real. If she likes these feelings, she will be more comfortable trying
it out with you.
In this way sex fantasies are useful to get used to new ideas. As you'll
learn in chapter 4, men are the creative force when it comes to sex. We
come up with new, exciting, and sometimes insane ways to have sex,
and women need time to get used to these new ideas.
Fantasizing about them will help a woman get used to these new ideas
in a safe environment. Inside her own head should be safe enough.
Another aspect of this has to do with the fact that we guys watch more
porn than women, and we've seen different ways to have sex. This isn't
a problem, since women don't like to be the creative force in bed
anyway, and therefore appreciate men who know how to have sex in
different ways.
Your girlfriend may not say she likes you watching porn, but she won't
complain when you regularly come up with new ways to blow her mind.
Before we move on to the next chapter, where well explore the
science behind sex, I want to straighten out a common
misunderstanding when it comes to sex.
There's a lot of confusion when it comes to sex, especially for those of
us living in a Christian society. The confusion has to do with the dark
side of sex.

The Dark Side of Sex

Is sex good, or is it bad? Is sex supposed to be dirty, or should it be
beautiful?
Is sex a manifestation of love, or is it a way to live out our darkest,
filthiest desires?
Let me begin by telling you about an interesting and funny reaction I
got from a Catholic woman I dated.
One night, while having wild and dirty sex, I started my usual dirty talk.
Nothing out of the ordinary, just things like, Youre my dirty little
whore, arent you?
Side note:
As I mentioned earlier, this is acceptable and exciting for most women,
as long as it fits with what you're doing. Calling a woman a whore in a
non-sexual situation is always a bad idea. And its of course very
insulting.
The special thing about this girl was that she was very religious, and she
had a problematic relationship to sex. She saw sex as something
negative, except when actually having sex. Then she transformed into
this horny little devil.
Since I knew she had a problematic relationship with sex, I had to ask
her if she liked being called a whore. After sex, as we lay in bed talking,
I simply said, You liked that I called you a whore, didnt you?
Her response was clear enough. With real anger in her voice she said,
NO!!
Then the funniest thing happened. Two seconds later, her face
transformed. A crooked devilish smile appeared. Then she said with a
low and shameful voice, Maybe a little
This illustrates the problematic relationship many of us have to sex. We
love the darker and dirtier side of sex, but we're also confused. Isnt sex
supposed to be romantic and beautiful?
The thing is, sex is a broad term. It's better if we split the word 'sex'
into fucking and lovemaking. Both fucking and lovemaking are
considered sex, which is kind of strange since they're two very different
acts.
Lets go back to the movies to get some perspective.
Most of us love funny movies, but most of us also love horror movies.
We love to feel fear, and we love to see people fight and get killed in
movies. Most of us, if not all of us, have a light and a dark side - and we
love them both.
On the one side, there are comedies and romantic movies. These
movies bring out the light side of humans. On the other side there are
action, horror and thrillers. These movies bring out the dark side. Its
just the way we are - its our human nature. We have a light side and a
dark side.
So why do people find this problematic?
We've been social conditioned to believe that certain things are good,
and certain things are bad. Humor, romance, being nice, smiling, and
making love are good. While anger, aggression, fear, selfishness, being
dirty, and fucking are bad.
This conditioning is so ingrained in our Christian society that most of us
dont even question its validity. Even if you're an atheist, you're still
social conditioned to think this way.
The problem with this good vs. evil or heaven vs. hell view of the world
is that its dead wrong. Aggression isnt bad, its just aggression. Having
dirty sex isnt bad, its just dirty sex. There's no need for labeling.
When I was a kid, I loved playing video games, especially violent ones.
My mother was worried that this would make me a violent person. And
guess what? I became a violent person. Or to be more precise, I'm born
a violent person.
Aggression and violence is part of who I am. Someday I may even get to
use it in real life. If I have kids of my own someday, I'm sure my
aggression will become useful if someone tries to hurt then. Until then,
I have my video games and of course my bedroom.
Context is everything. There's nothing good or bad. There's only right or
wrong action compared to the specific situation you're in.
Fucking isnt only an excellent way to let out the dark side of our
human nature, its the main way to get these feelings and emotions
out. Kids have video games and play fighting, and we have sex.
For a man it feels great to take a woman with force and aggression. For
a woman, it feels equally great to be taken with force and aggression -
to accept that she's a whore by nature.
Outside the bedroom, she can enjoy being a lady. But right now, in the
bedroom, she can just let go and indulge in her dark side. She can be
the dirty little whore.
Back to my Catholic girlfriend.
Why did my Catholic girlfriend love being my dirty little whore?
Her natural instincts were telling her that this is an important part of
who she is. Having wild dirty sex is a natural part of being a healthy
adult human being. Its called fucking. And thats what we do.
And why did my Catholic girlfriend hate being my dirty little whore?
She's conditioned by her society to suppress her natural human
instincts. She has learned that this world is black and white, and of
course, she wants to be white. Even though black is so much more
liberating and exciting - especially in the bedroom.

Fucking is supposed to be dirty, filthy, and sick.

Lovemaking is supposed to be beautiful, romantic and
intimate.
I dont know about you, but I love comedies. And sometimes I love
thrillers as well. Sometimes I want to make love, and sometimes I just
want to fuck.
I let my emotions decide what Ill do. They're never right or wrong,
they're just emotions
 Chapter 2

How Women Choose Men

In this chapter we're going to look at the biological reasons for having
sex, and how men and women are hard-wired differently.
I believe it's an advantage to understand the basic biological differences
between men and women. This will help you understand how women
choose men.
If you arent that into science and stuff, then just keep on reading, I'm
going to make this easy.
If you on the other hand are a science geek like me, remember that this
isn't a science book. I have to take some shortcuts to make it practical.
Before we look at how and why sex is different for men and women,
let's look at a common problem with our scientific society.

Don't Think. Feel...

Do we have sex for procreation? Or do we have sex because it feels
good?
Most of the time people have sex, they dont want babies. So it has to
be because it feels good, right?
If that's so, why does sex feel good? Why don't we humans, like most
other animals, only have sex when we want to procreate?
Biologically speaking, we don't have sex because it feels good. Sex is for
procreation. Thats the real reason. The fact that it feels good is a trick
of our genes. Our genes trick us into having sex by using our feelings.
Why is this important to know?
If we dont know that our feelings govern our sex life, we might think
we're using our rational mind. But logical thinking has nothing to do
with sex. Its only feelings and instincts that are important when we
choose who we have sex with.
In that sense, its no difference between us humans and any other
animal. If any other animal manage to have sex without using rational
thinking, so can we.
In fact, if we try to use our logical mind instead of our feelings and
instincts when it comes to sex, we'll only screw things up. Our logical
mind is useful to solve some specific types of problems, but most of the
things we do in life, including sex, have nothing to do with our logical
mind.
Think of the important things a housefly has to do before it dies. It has
to find food, stay alive and procreate. That's basically it.
And for us humans:
We have to find food, stay alive and have sex.
I've never heard of a housefly reading sex manuals, but they seem to
multiply quite well. We've become obsessed with using our rational
mind on everything, even when it's unnecessary and harmful.
Why can't we just eat when we're hungry, run away from danger when
we feel fear, and have sex when we're aroused. Every animal does this
easily - except us humans.
Let me illustrate this with an example:
Have you ever been in a bar and watched how some men seduce
women with ease. For instance, a man walks straight up to a woman
and start talking. Ten minutes later, they're making out. You listen in,
trying to hear what he's saying. And you're amazed because he doesnt
say anything special at all. He's just small talking.
You're standing there, trying to use your 140 IQ brain to figure out why
an average intelligent man is now making out with a beautiful woman,
while you're standing there thinking about it.
You try to seduce women by using a tool that's not suited for the job.
Rational thinking has nothing to do with sexual attraction and love. Its
like trying to figure out how much water you need to drink today by
calculating all the variables. Why not use the right tool for the job, your
feelings. Just drink when you're thirsty, problem solved.
One important aspect of this book is to teach you how to attract
women, and how to have sex without using your rational thinking
mind.
Now, let's go back to biology and look at why men and women are
hard-wired differently.

We Are Hunter-Gatherers
Why is it acceptable for most men to have sex with women they barely
know? While women need to feel an emotional connection before
having sex?
How can a hardworking, successful businessman be so stupid to have
sex with an annoying, self-centered young model? And how can a
beautiful young model choose to be with an old businessman?
Its impossible to understand the differences between men and women
without looking at human evolution, and how we used to live. Evolution
hasn't caught up with our modern world. It hasn't even caught up with
the agriculture revolution, which started around 10,000 BC.
This means that human nature is stuck in the Stone Age. We are
nothing other than Stone Age hunter-gatherers.
In other words, to seduce and satisfy women sexually, you have to
understand what women in the Stone Age looked for in men.
Side note:
Im the first to admit that some of the biology in this book is rather
speculative. Even though biology is one of my passions, I have no formal
education. And more importantly, human courtship is so complex that
even biologists dont know much about how men and women choose
sexual partners.
Please have an open mind and make your own conclusions. The goal of
this book is to teach you what works not to make you a scientist.
Let's start with what we men look for in women.

What Do Men Look for in Women?

As with every other living thing, the only purpose for our existence is to
get our genes to the next generation, biologically speaking of course.
Everything we do, feel and think has its roots in that fact.
When we look at what men search for in women, everything has to do
with getting the most possible genes, and the best genes to the next
generation.
What's the best strategy for men to accomplish this?
- Have sex with a large amount of women.
- Have sex with, and marry the youngest fertile women available.
- Have sex with the most beautiful women available.
- Have sex with, and marry women who are good workers, and who are
nurturing and caring.
- Protect and provide food to as many of your wives and children as
possible.
Since its important for our genes that we follow this strategy, we have
developed a feeling called sexual attraction. Sexual attraction is the
feeling you get when you want to have sex. (Also called arousal, being
turned on, being horny, and so on.) It's the way our genes make sure
we follow the strategy mentioned above.
Or to put it in another way:
Our genes are selfish. They don't care about anything else than to
survive to the next generation. They don't trust us to make the right
decisions, so they make us feel uncomfortably horny when a suitable
woman is in reach. Im sure you know the feeling
And whats a suitable woman for our genes?
Well, what makes you horny?
Let me guess: Youth, beauty and caring behavior.
Why are we guys programmed by our genes to be sexually attracted to
young, beautiful, caring women?
Back to biology:
- A young wife can raise more children than an older wife. (More
offspring)
- Beauty reflects a woman's fertility, and the quality of her genes.
(Healthy offspring)
- A caring woman will nurture and protect her children. (Healthy and
safe offspring)
Men who were sexually attracted to older, less beautiful and less caring
women didnt get as many genes to the next generation. These genes
eventually died out.
Today, many generations later, every man alive is therefore sexually
attracted to young, beautiful, caring women. It's in our DNA.
Why some refer to these men as dirty, old pigs? Well, I have no idea.
This has nothing to do with biology, since every man, regardless of age,
is genetically programmed to get aroused by young, beautiful and
caring women.

What Do Women Look for in Men?

Women are attracted to young, handsome, muscular men in designer
suits and fast cars.
If you live in the modern western world, there's a good chance you
actually believe this. Even if you rationally know this isnt true, you've
heard it all your life, so you feel that it's true.
Now let's look at the facts.
Choosing a sexual partner is different for women than it is for us guys.
The most important reason for this is that women are the ones getting
pregnant.
Let's look at the time aspect.
For a man, sex is maybe ten minutes of fun. For a woman, sex is ten
minutes of fun, 9 months of pregnancy, and several years of child
rearing. Of course, the man helps with child rearing as well, but he
doesnt have to. The woman has no choice.
This means that if a woman chooses to have sex with the wrong man - a
man who doesnt support her - then her child may die, and she has
wasted several years of her short fertile life. From this "little" mistake
her genes may get extinct.
This scares the hell out of these selfish genes. They've stayed alive for
millennia, and they arent giving up without a fight.
The result of this is:
Today, women are choosy when it comes to men - as you probably
already know. Women who didn't care much about who they had sex
with didn't get their genes passed on to the next generation. Only the
choosy genes survived.
If a woman isn't almost 100% sure that a man will stay with her, and
provide for her family, then she won't have sex with him.
A woman is genetically programmed to say 'no' to men, even when
she's aroused. Being horny is not enough for a woman to jump into bed
with a man.
Side note:
All this doesnt mean you have to live in a traditional monogamous
relationship to have sex. The only thing a woman needs to know about
you is: Do you care about her or not? If she feels that you care about
her, then she knows on a subconscious/genetic level that you won't
leave her if she gets pregnant. Biologically speaking, her genes are safe.
The fact that we today live in a modern society with contraception and
child support isn't relevant, since sex is about instincts and feelings
automatically generated by our genes. When it comes to sex, it's not
our rational mind that's in control.
So, what's the difference between men and women?
For a man, its all about sexual attraction. If he's horny, he's going to
have sex. There are of course some rational factors he has to consider,
such as infidelity. But on a subconscious/instinctive level, sexual
attraction is the only factor he has to consider.
For a woman however, its much more complex. Sexual attraction
(arousal) is not enough for her to say 'yes' to sex.
There are four different factors which are important to women when it
comes to choosing to have sex, and choosing a sexual partner. All of
them are on a subconscious/instinctive/emotional level.
I call these four factors 'the 4 laws of sex'.

The 4 Laws of Sex

This is why youre reading this book, even if you don't know it yet. You
want to learn these 4 laws.
First Law of Sex: Create Sexual Attraction (Chapter 4)
Second Law of Sex: Create Emotional Connection (Chapter 6)
Third Law of Sex: Create Trust (Chapter 9)
Fourth Law of Sex: Create Social Status (Appendix 1)
Learn how to use these 4 laws of sex, and you won't have any difficulty
bringing a woman to bed. Your wife or a one-night stand, it doesnt
really matter. These 4 factors are what every woman looks for in a man.
If you also use the 4 laws of sex in the bedroom, you'll give a woman a
kind of fulfillment she probably never has experienced before.
How do I know this?
I know this because women tell me how frustrated they are with men.
Women want to meet men who understand what they need. And sadly
for women, most men don't understand what women need.
I don't want you to be like most men.
When a woman meets a man who understand what she wants and
needs, she'll treat him like a king. Even if he doesn't want a
monogamous relationship, she doesnt care, as long as she can be a
part of his life and get more of what she wants.
And if he wants to end the relationship, she'll be happy for the time
they had together, and she'll appreciate all the love and affection she
has experienced.
Side note:
It's okay for most women to end a sexual relationship, as long as they
know they're loved and respected. This has to do with a womans
safety. If a woman is loved and respected, then she knows she will be
supported by you and her society. If she cant have sex with you
anymore, shell just find someone else. Meaning: Her life and her genes
are not at risk.
All of the 4 laws of sex are essential when a woman chooses to say yes
or no to sex. If one of them is missing, it's impossible for her to have
sex.
Did you get that? Let me say that again:

It is IMPOSSIBLE for a woman to have sex without

sexual attraction, emotional connection, trust and
social status.
Why?
Let's go through the biology behind the 4 laws of sex, so you can
understand why women need these four factors to have sex.
Later in this book Ill explain, in detail, how to deal with the 4 laws of
sex in a more practical manner. But for now, let's stick to biology.

First Law of Sex: Create Sexual Attraction

Sexual attraction (arousal) is the feeling you feel went you want to have
sex. Don't ever forget that this is a feeling - it's not a rational choice.
When you see an attractive woman, you don't choose to get turned on.
It's an instant automatic response, programmed by your genes.
Your genes, or your subconscious if you will, know youre in presence of
a highly fertile woman, and they generate the feeling of arousal. This
automatic response bypasses your rational mind, and you have no
control over it.
You can of course choose to not act on your feelings of arousal - and
sometimes thats wise - but you can't stop arousal from appearing in
the first place.
Side note:
There are some men who suppress their feeling of arousal. This is a bad
idea. In the long run, our basic feelings - fear, hunger, arousal - are
much stronger than our rational mind (or our morality). We have all
heard stories of what this suppression can lead to.
For women, the feeling of arousal is the same as it is for us guys.
Women get turned on when they're in the presence of an attractive
man. The big difference is what women are attracted to.
An attractive man is different from an attractive woman. As weve
seen, it's crucial for men to get turned on by young beautiful women,
since they've the best genes and since they can "produce" more
children before they become infertile.
For women however, there are no good reasons to get turned on by
young, handsome men, since it wont help the survival of their genes.
What women need (in the Stone Age) are men who are good hunters,
and men who are good protectors.
It would be fatal for a woman if she got turned on and had sex with a
man who couldnt provide food, and couldnt protect her and her
children. This means that women are biologically programmed to get
sexually attracted to men who are good hunters and good protectors.
But how can women know who the good hunters/protectors are?
They can't. At least not on a rational level. Just as men can't know
rationally who the most fertile women are, women can't know
rationally who the good hunters/protectors are.
So how do we know?
We are genetically programmed to react to certain indicators.
Men get turned on by beauty, which is an indicator of youth and
fertility. And women get turned on by decisiveness, aggression, single-
minded focus and attentiveness, which are indicators of good
hunting/protector skills.
It doesnt matter that we don't live in the Stone Age anymore. Our
genes are the same today. Every woman youll ever meet is sexually
attracted to these indicators.
Today, we call these hunter/protector indicators for 'masculinity'. If
women were the Stone Age hunters, these indicators would today be
called 'femininity'.
My point is, we can't change human nature. Men are men, and women
are women. Men will always be attracted to femininity (youth, beauty,
innocence, cuteness, shyness, child-like behavior, uncertainty, volatile
emotions, etc.) 'And women will always be attracted to masculinity
(decisiveness, courage, calmness, aggression, physical strength, etc.).
But don't get caught up with all these masculine indicators. Later youll
learn that being a sexually attractive man (a masculine man) is simpler
than you think.
Side note:
If youre bisexual or gay, remember that this is human nature too. We
are all genetically programmed to be attracted to certain indicators -
and this programming can't be changed after birth. We can choose to
accept it, or we can choose to live a very lonely life.
Sexual attraction is essential for both men and women when it comes
to having sex. And the feeling of sexual attraction (arousal) is the same
for men and women. The only difference is the indicators we are
attracted to.
Now, lets look at the three other factors which are essential for
women.

Second Law of Sex: Create Emotional Connection

Theres no way I can explain emotional connection with biology. You
have to wait for Chapter 6. There Ill teach you how to do it in real life.
For now, you only have to know that emotional connection has to do
with feelings of love, respect and intimacy.
Why is love, respect and intimacy a requirement for women when
having sex?
As always with biology, it's about our selfish genes. They want to live
on, even after were long gone.
When a woman feels love, respect and intimacy with a man, then she
knows that he feels these feelings too. That means she also knows he
wont leave her. No one leaves someone they love. Therefore, her
future and her genes are safe.

Third Law of Sex: Create Trust

Trust can be a lot of different things, but when I use the term 'trust' in
this book I use it in a specific way. Trust has to do with both the physical
and the emotional safety of a woman.
Physical Safety
Imagine that youre a woman in a club (yes, I know... that's impossible,
but just try...). You see this attractive man, who happens to be turned
on by you. Hes decisive, a little aggressive, and twice your size.
Would you go home with a decisive, aggressive man twice your size?
You sure want to. Youre turned on by him. On the other hand, do you
trust him? Will he be nice to you?
There would be a terrible strategy for a womans genes to have sex
with a man who would hurt her or kill her in the process. This means
that women are genetically programmed to say 'no' to men they don't
trust.
Emotional Safety
I believe most people are more afraid of being hurt emotionally than
physically. When it comes to sex and love, everybody has their guard
up.
Since it's necessary for a woman to feel an emotional connection
before having sex (the second law of sex), she has to say no to sex if
she cant let her emotional guard down. A man must prove that he
won't play with a womans feelings before she can say yes to sex.
In simpler terms: No trust - no sex.
Are you starting to see how difficult it is for women to say yes to sex?
Im sometimes surprised that women have sex at all. It's not enough for
women to be aroused - there are all these other factors to consider.
Women have to - and a mean HAVE TO - feel love and trust as well.
Its your "job" to make sure the woman/women in your life feel arousal,
love and trust. If you manage this, youll probably have more sex than
you can handle. Youll realize that women love sex as much as you do -
maybe even more.
To make things even more complex, weve to look at the fourth factor
women need before saying yes to sex.

Fourth Law of Sex: Create Social Status

Before we look at why social status is so important to women, let me
remind you that I use a very precise language in this book. Most people
would say that women are attracted to men with high social status. But
this is only correct if you have a broad definition of attraction.
When I use the word attraction, I only mean the feeling of arousal.
Therefore, women are not attracted to social status, but they still want
to be with men with high social status.
Think of it this way. Imagine that you can choose to be with one of two
identical twins. (No, you cant have them both). One of the twins has
just won the lottery - shes stinking rich. Who would you choose?
The rich twin, of course. This doesnt mean you are more turned on by
the rich twin, even though you want to be with her.
A fascinating thing about social status is that its much more important
to women than it is for men. The reason we guys are so obsessed with
social status is because we want women. In that sense, social status is
as important to us as it is for women.
Why is social status important to women? And what does it have to do
with sex?
Back to biology and your genes.
In a hunter-gatherer society, a good strategy for women would have
been to hook up with the man with the highest social status, the tribal
chief. No one messes with the leader of the group, and he has more
resources than anyone else.
A wise woman would go after the leader of the group, or someone
close to him. If shes together with a man with high social status, she
would have high social status as well. And she and her children (her
genes) would have had a good chance of survival.
Today, we don't use the word tribal chief anymore, we use the
word celebrity.
Are you peeing in your pants right now, because you arent a celebrity.
And you don't have any social status?
Don't worry. Neither do I. There are ways you can "cheat", and it's easy
to do. (More on how you can raise your social status in appendix 1.)
You can also compensate with the other laws of sex. Turn a woman on,
make her feel love and intimacy, make her trust you, and then she
wont care much about your social status. Maybe your in-laws would
care, but she wont.
It's worth mentioning that social status differs from the others laws of
sex when it comes to sex itself. Social status is not a factor when
having sex. (But its an important factor during pick-up and
seduction.)
So there you have it. The 4 laws of sex explained with biology.
This is at best interesting, but useless if you don't know how to create
these four factors in real life. I'll guide you through all of the 4 laws,
starting with sexual attraction in chapter 4.

Facts about the 4 Laws of Sex

Before we move on to what I consider the great killer of sexual
attraction - social conditioning, lets look at some interesting facts
about the 4 laws of sex.
The 4 laws of sex are something you create or do, it's not something
you are or something you have.
This means you can choose to create them anytime you want. It's
something you do.
I really hope you get that.
You can "make" women say 'yes' to sex whenever you want, as long as
you create all of the 4 laws of sex.
The 4 laws of sex have to be present before sex (pick-
up/date/foreplay).
If you don't create sexual attraction, emotional connection, trust and
social status on a date, youll go home alone.
And if you don't create sexual attraction, emotional connection, trust
and social status with your wife, she wont sleep with you. She cant.
She is genetically programmed to say no.
Are you with me here?
A woman cant say yes to sex, unless you create all of the 4 laws of
sex.
The 4 laws of sex work on the emotional level.
If you want to seduce a woman, or satisfy her in bed - then change her
emotions.
Let her feel sexual attraction. Let her feel an emotional connection. Let
her feel your trust. And let her feel high social status.
(How you do this will be explained, in detail, in chapter 4, chapter 6,
chapter 9, and appendix 1.)
The 4 laws of sex also have to be present when youre actually having
sex.
In this chapter Ive focused on what women have to feel before they
say 'yes' to sex. The 4 laws of sex are also essential in the bedroom. The
more sexual attraction, emotional connection and trust you can create
in the bedroom, the more fulfilled your girlfriend/wife/one-night stand
will be.
Note: Social status is an exception here. It isn't a factor in the bedroom.
Without you creating sexual attraction, emotional connection, and trust
when having sex, your bedroom partner will definitely not be satisfied.
It doesnt matter what types of techniques or sexual positions you use.
They wont work without you focusing on the 4 laws of sex.
That's why I want you to learn the basic theory behind sex, and not only
sexual techniques.
The 4 laws of sex are easy to do. Everyone can do it.
Yes, you too.
Any man is hard-wired to learn how to create sexual attraction,
emotional connection, trust and social status. If not, our species would
be extinct.
The 4 laws of sex are done by leading.
You can't create the 4 laws of sex without knowing how to lead women.
In my opinion, the most important question a woman asks herself when
she meets a man is:
Can he lead?
That's the big question any woman (unconsciously) asks herself when
she meets a man.
Can he lead? Can he make decisions?
Have you noticed there are four chapters in this book called, 'How to
Lead a Woman'. Now you know the reason. It's that important!
Sexual attraction, emotional connection, trust and social status are all
created when you lead.
Earlier in my life I had no idea how to lead women. But I learned it, and
my relationship to women has totally changed. Now, I feel free to build
meaningful relationships filled with deep love and affection. I know I
can attract women anytime I want to. And it isn't even difficult to do.
I want you to learn too.
I believe fulfilling sexual relationships change people. Can you imagine
how the world would be if every man on this planet has mind-blowing
sex on a regular basis? If every man felt he had the freedom to do
anything he wanted with his sexual partner.
I'm not trying to save the world here, but I think the world would be a
pretty chilled out place. Dont you agree?
If you do, then why don't you do yourself the favor of learning how to
please women (and yourself) in bed. Learn the 4 laws of sex, and see
for yourself how awesome women are when you treat them right. You
deserve it...
...and women deserve it.
If I could manage to turn my life around, then so can you.
Its a common misunderstanding that its easier for women to have sex
than it is for us guys. This couldn't be further from the truth. Remember
that its impossible for women to have sex if not all of the 4 laws of sex
are present.
This means that for an attractive woman there are few men to choose
from. Thats why the world is filled with sex deprived women. And
thats why youre going to have a blast when you learn how to give
women what they want.
Still not sure what women want?
Here it is again:
- Sexual attraction (arousal)
- Emotional connection (love and intimacy)
- Trust
- Social status
The goal of this book is to teach you how to create these four factors by
leading.
 Chapter 3

Social Conditioning and Why it Kills Attraction

If you take animals out of their natural habitat, a peculiar thing

happens. They stop procreating. Its not that they become infertile,
they just stop attracting each other.
Its a good thing we're not animals.
Can you imagine living in a strange futuristic world where men thought
it was difficult to get women to bed. And women couldnt find
attractive men anymore.
Would you choose to live in that world?
To understand why men and women in our modern world dont
sexually attract each other that much anymore, we have to go back to
the 1960s.
In the 60s something quite amazing happened to our society. For the
first time in history, both men and women where partly liberated from
their traditional roles.
These roles had been a part of human society from the very beginning,
even before we evolved into modern humans. This change was
groundbreaking for women and men alike. We had more freedom to do
what we wanted to do.
But with this freedom we also had to pay a price

The Liberation of Women

In the 60s, women were encourage to take an education, seek out a
carrier, and earn their own money. When women were liberated from
their traditional roles of being housekeepers and mothers, they had to
change. To succeed in the workplace you have to develop masculine
traits like decisiveness and courage.
This wasnt that difficult since men and women are born with both
masculine and feminine traits. Women didnt become less women, they
developed and used their masculinity more than their female
ancestors.
So whats the problem? Whats the downside?
Well, there are no downsides. If a woman develops her masculinity, its
beneficial for both her and her society. Even when it comes to
relationships and sex, it's beneficial.
Theres only a problem if she loses contact with her feminine side. Then
she becomes less attractive to men. The development of a womans
masculine side isnt the problem. Its the lack of development or the
suppression of a womans feminine side that creates problems.
Women dont seem to manage turning on their femininity when it's
appropriate. In a sexual relationship they automatically turn to what
theyre most familiar with - their masculinity.

The Domestication of Men

For men, we have to go back even further than the 1960s.
Our change started with the agricultural revolution, about 10,000 years
ago. We went from being hunters to becoming farmers. We went from
the excitement of the hunt to the boredom of watching potatoes grow.
We went from killing animals to trying to keep our domesticated
animals alive.
Our masculine side became less important, although our masculine
nature stayed the same. 10,000 years are too short to change human
nature. Were still genetically built to kill.
The second big change for us men coexisted with the liberation of
women. While women were encouraged to develop their masculine
side, men were encouraged to develop their feminine side.
We learned to come in contact with our feelings and to talk about
them, and we learned to be sensitive to other peoples needs. At school
we learned to sit absolutely still for several hours each day, and we
learned that aggression and physical fighting were negative or bad. And
most of all, we learned to stop and think before we acted.
As with women, this wasnt a problem in itself. A man will function
better in the society if he develops his feminine side.
But if he suppresses his masculinity, then he cant sexually attract
women anymore. Hes trying to attract women the only way he knows,
with his femininity. He tries to show women how sensitive, thoughtful
and caring he is. He tries to impress with his good looks and expensive
clothes. And if hes really desperate, he may even waste his hard-
earned money on expensive cologne - not very masculine.
Ive been there myself, and it didnt seem to work.
Do you know what I'm talking about?
It's an uncomfortable feeling, isn't it? You try and try but nothing
happens. You feel like the nicest guy, but not a single woman in this
world wants you. Go figure.
So, what can you do? Whats the solution?
Either you have to change female nature, or you have to change.
Im sure you have heard that most women say they want a nice guy.
Are they lying? It sure seems like it. The nicer you are, the more women
despise you.
The thing is, women do want nice men. But most men that think they
are nice, are in reality liars. I certainly thought I was a nice guy, but I
was a liar. I wasnt honest with myself.
I didnt know it, but women did.
Maybe you are in the same situation, but dont realize it. If you feel
youre a nice guy, and at the same time have difficulty attracting
women, then youre probably a liar too - just like I was.
Pay close attention to the next example. Maybe you recognize yourself.

Honesty - The Only Solution to Social

Conditioning
A man walks in to a bar. He sees a beautiful woman.
She looks at him, and he immediately looks another way. After a couple
of minutes he finally approaches her. With a weak and nervous voice he
says, Hi! How are you? Youre very beautiful.
He looks at her and waits for her response. He doesnt get any. She just
looks at him.
Now, even more nervous, he asks with an apologetic stuttering voice,
Ehh... Can I buy you a drink...? Maybe? The woman cringes and looks
at her friends, trying to get some help, but they just laugh. She smiles
nervously and says, Thanks for the offer, that's sweet of you, but Im
busy with my friends right now.
A second man walks into the same bar. He sees the same beautiful
woman.
She looks at him, and he just stands there looking back at her. He
slowly starts smiling, and she looks away, trying to hide her own smile.
He approaches her decisively.
With a suppressed smile on his face he looks straight into her eyes. He
looks slowly down at her body, enjoying the view, and then back at her
eyes again. With a clear and assertive voice he says, I want to buy you
for 5 minutes.
She spontaneously starts to giggle. Twisting her body from side to side
like a little schoolgirl. He says calmly, Lets sit here. Ill buy you a
drink. They sit down and start talking.
Whats the difference between these two men?
The second man has confidence, and the first man doesnt? No, that's
not it. Thats way too simplistic.
The difference is: The second man is honest. The first man isnt.
The first man is trying to get the woman by manipulating her. He isnt
honest with himself, and she knows it. He acts like hes just an amazing
guy, who unselfishly gives things, such as compliments and drinks, to
people he doesnt know. And probably it isnt even an act. He truly
believes hes a nice guy. He doesnt know hes lying to himself.
But she knows.
She knows theres no such thing as truly unselfish acts. She knows he
wants something in return, and shes creeped out because she feels
manipulated. Its like a stranger stops you on the street and says,
Please take my wallet. Wouldnt you be creeped out? It isnt natural
to give things away for free.
Hes acting this way because he's conditioned by his society to believe
theres something bad or evil with his masculinity thats why he
suppresses it.
The second man however, knows hes a man. And hes not ashamed of
it. He sees the beautiful woman, and feels even more like a man. He
feels how his heart starts beating and his breath deepening. He looks
straight at his pray, and he knows exactly what to do.
When he goes in for the kill, he feels how powerful he is. Theres no
going back now. He feels calm and at ease, even though his blood
rushes thru his veins. This is what hes born to do.
The woman feels this right away. She knows shes his pray. It doesnt
even matter that shes conditioned to be a strong and assertive
woman. She immediately goes to her feminine side - its in her nature.
She feels her own heart beating as he approaches. She surrenders and
lets him go in for the kill.
The first man is a typical nice guy. The fact that hes nice and wants to
give is not the issue. Being nice is one of the most important things
women look for in men. And giving is essential in any relationship.
The problem is that he is dishonest.
Women want honest men, and a typical nice guy is dishonest because
he suppresses his masculine nature. He acts likes he doesnt want
anything from the woman, but this is absurd. He is a man - of course he
wants something in return. He wants her.
The most remarkable thing is that everybody in the bar, except himself,
knows that he wants her. His suppression of his true feelings is just
astonishing.
You can say that its a war between your inborn male nature on the one
side, and your social conditioning on the other side. If you are a typical
nice guy (manipulative liar) then your social programming is winning.
The key to unlocking your inborn male nature is honesty.

To know what you really want and need - stop the

bullshit - and become honest with yourself.
If you arent honest with yourself, then forget about women. Women
want men who are in contact with their own needs (masculine
feelings). They want men who live their own life and make up their own
rules. If you suppress your own inborn masculine nature, youll never
get satisfying relationships with women.
Why?
Because when you dont know your true feelings and needs, youre
lying to yourself. And when youre lying to yourself, youre lying to
women too. Youre trying to give women things like compliments and
gifts, while youre acting like you dont want anything in return.

The solution is to tell women what you want

directly or indirectly while you simultaneously give.
In the example above the honest man tells the woman indirectly that
he wants her by using his body language he looks at her with lust. He
also tells her by using humor - I want to buy you. In other words, he
doesnt hide that he wants her. He is honest.
The nice guy however gets all freaked out because theres an internal
war going on. All his energy and focus is used to suppress his natural
male instincts.
When he sees the beautiful woman, these instincts/feelings are
awakened. But he believes that this is a bad thing. Instead of letting the
woman know his true sexual feelings for her, he fights to hide them.
The result of this is that he not only comes out as manipulative, he also
gets nervous around women. I dont know about you, but I get nervous
when I have to lie.
Its so much more comfortable being honest.
Getting out of social conditioning is a long and difficult process. It has
taken me years to get where I am today, but its worth it.
I can't even imagine how I used to live - if you can call it living at all. I
felt like a robot executing the social programming I had been exposed
to, without any control over my own life.
I didn't feel it was my life I was living, and in a sense it wasn't. My life
was just a projection of other people's social conditioning. The fact that
I grew up in a Scandinavian social democracy didnt make it any easier.
Here, individualism and personal success (masculine qualities) are
looked down upon. We learn from an early age that you shouldnt think
you are anyone special. Risk-taking, pride and assertiveness are seen as
vices.
The problem with social conditioning is that you don't know how deep
youre in it before you come out of it. It's like being in a religious sect.
Everyone on the outside knows how crazy you are, but you have no
idea.
If you have no idea what I'm talking about, then youre truly f**ked.
But don't worry. I think that's unlikely. Maybe you have at least a vague
sense that theres something not quite right with this world. Maybe you
feel that the way you behave around women isnt natural. You have a
feeling that it isn't supposed to be like this.
Thats a great start. Dive into this fully, and find out whats wrong with
you, your relationship with women, and the world youre living in. Its
all connected. Soon youll see whats going on, and things will gradually
start to change.

Becoming aware of how social conditioning affects

your life is essential to coming out of it. Gradually
youll feel more in control of your own life.
Ill help you as much as I can, but you have to do the hard work
yourself. And its truly hard work.
That's why so few men know how to satisfy women. And that's why
women will stand in line for you when you change yourself for the
better. (Yes, I'm exaggerating... I don't have a line of women outside my
door...)
Most men don't want to change themselves - they like to make excuses
instead. Im too fat, Im too short, Im too old, Im too poor
Come on guys Youre too lazy!!
Get to work right now, and improve yourself. It may take years before
you see any change, but let me tell you something: No one cares.
Not a single person in this world cares if you in ten years from now sit
in the exact same chair you sit in now, watching reruns of the same
stupid sitcom youre watching today.
And let me tell you another thing. If you do succeed still no one cares.
If you work hard to succeed in life, or if you continue being a social
conditioned automaton people just dont care.

The only thing you have to decide: Do you care?

Im not your mother, and Im not here to pamper you. Im here to tell
you straight: If you find it as difficult to relate to women as I did, then
you got a shitload of work to be done.
Thats all the tough love youre going to get from me Its all up to you
now.
I can teach you, and Ill be happy to do so, but you have to do the hard
work.
I find it amazing that most guys are willing to go to school for years,
paying tons of money to get a college degree. But when it comes to
learning how to relate to women, the same guys arent willing to spend
a dime on improving themselves.
Let me ask you. In five years from now, whats more important to you.
To have a high income, or to have a great relationship with a woman?
What would make you more satisfied?
Of course you can have both. But dont think for a second that you
dont have to work as hard to get a great relationship as getting a great
education.
The question you have to ask yourself is not if you can get a great
relationship with a woman of course you can. The question is: Are
you willing to do the work?
If not, then delete this book right now its not for you. Spend your
time with your friends and talk about women instead like most guys
do.
Still reading Great! Lets do the hard work.
You should be proud of yourself for taking this first and most difficult
step. Even if you dont yet feel a change inside yourself, women youll
meet will.
Especially high quality women, since they have gone through the same
self-improvement process themselves. They seek men who want to
learn and evolve, and they can sense whos making an effort.
A typical problem with social conditioning is that you don't want to get
out of it, because if you do, youll soon realize that you have to be
responsible for your own actions.
If you follow others, or if you do what everybody else is doing, you feel
no one can blame you when something goes wrong. You were just
following "orders".
This lack of responsibility is basically what separates boys from men.
Sadly for women, there are a lot of adult boys running around. Women
are not attracted to boys, so don't be one. Take responsibility for your
own actions, and lead you own life.
Did you get that?
Lead your own life.
Now were going to talk about sexual attraction, and youll learn why
leading is crucial when turning women on.
---
 Chapter 4

Sexual Attraction

Up to this point you havent learn much you can use in real life.
I don't want this book to be like so many other books about sex, where
you have no idea how to treat women after youre done reading.
In this chapter youll learn how to build sexual attraction, and how to
turn women on so much that theyre begging you to take them.
Although this is simpler than you might think, I have to warn you. The
beginning of this chapter is difficult to understand.
But don't freak out. It took me a long time to learn and understand this
myself. Be patient and read this chapter as many times as you have to.
You havent really understood this chapter until you say to yourself:
"Is it that easy to turn women on!?"

Theory of Opposites
Using modern science to explain whats going on between men and
women is interesting, but impractical.
If youve ever read a science book about sex, youll know what I mean.
We need a way to look at sex thats so simple, that its easily converted
to real life situations.
To my knowledge, theres no theory more suited to explain sex than
the yin-yang theory from the philosophy of Taoism. The yin-yang theory
has the same function as science - they both try to explain how the
world works.
The big difference between the yin-yang theory and science is that
science goes into details, while the yin-yang theory looks at the big
picture. Its a theory you can use in your bedroom.
I wont use the words yin and yang in this book, its not necessary. But
I'll shortly explain how it works.
The yin-yang theory is a relativity theory. Everything is divided into two
opposite sides, which are linked to each other.
One side cannot exist without the other side, like hot and cold, front
and back, strong and weak, to lead and to be led, masculine and
feminine, to give pleasure and to receive pleasure.
Thats all you need to know. Its perfect for explaining men and women,
because when it comes to sex, we are the opposite of each other.
Or to be more precise, when it comes to sexual attraction, we are the
opposite of each other.
Why?
Be patient. We'll get there...
You still need to learn more theory.

Femininity
Even though we men have a feminine side as well, we cant feel it as
strongly as women. Its impossible for us to feel what women feel when
they have sex. The only thing we can do is to try understanding it on a
rational level.
We can divide femininity into two separate parts. A passive part and an
active part.
The Passive Part of Femininity
The passive part of femininity consists of everything that has the
capacity to change.
Feelings, emotions, looks, clothes, thoughts, beliefs, your personality,
your life history, your dreams for the future, your job and your bank
account. Its all the objects or things in the world.
When I use words like objects and things I also mean feelings and
thoughts. Everything that can change is part of femininity. Some things
change rapidly, like emotions and thoughts, and some things change
slowly, like beliefs and personality.
When a woman talks about her plans for the future, or when she talks
about what happened at work today, she uses her feminine side. In
fact, she becomes more feminine.
When she gets dressed for the evening, preparing for a date, she also
becomes more feminine. Clothes, make-up, jewelry and shoes are
objects, and all objects are part of femininity.
When shes happy, sad or scared, she becomes more feminine, because
emotions are part of femininity.

The Active Part of Femininity

The active part of femininity has to do with the choices women make.
Every time a man leads, a woman has to make a choice - does she
accept or reject. Does she say yes or no.
The active part of femininity is quite simple. Its about sending a signal
back to the man. This signal can be either yes or no.
Do you want to go out for dinner tonight? The answer is either yes
or no. Take off your clothes! The answer is either yes or no. Turn
around, please. I want to look at your behind. The answer is either
yes or no.
I usually think of the active part of femininity as a choice between yes
and no. It doesnt mean that women have to say the actual words 'yes'
or 'no'. Its almost always a subtle signal she sends back to the man.
Each time a woman have to make this 'yes' or 'no' choice, she feels
more feminine.
This is something we guys never really can understand, because we
cant feel it. If youre like me, you probably get annoyed when someone
wants you to do something. Our masculine side feels violated.
Masculinity is all about being creative and lead, not being led.

Masculinity
Masculinity can also be divided into a passive and active part. These
two parts of masculinity are always the opposite of the two parts of
femininity. The one cannot exist without the other.

The Passive Part of Masculinity

The passive part of masculinity consists of the one thing that doesnt
change, consciousness.
There are many words we can use to represents the ever unchanging,
such as presence, emptiness, nothingness, God or subject.
If youre not quite sure what I mean with the ever unchanging, then
think of your own life. Everything in your life changes, like feelings,
thoughts, your body, objects you own and so on. Thats part of your
feminine side.
The only thing that doesnt change is what you probably just call 'I'. This
feeling of 'I' is the same today as it was ten years ago. It will never
change.
Its the contrast to everything you have or own in your life, such as
feelings, thoughts, money, etc. Everything changes in your life, except
the "real you", your consciousness.
If you meditate, you know what this is. You empty yourself of thoughts
and feelings, and what you have left is presence, stillness, your
consciousness, subject or whatever you want to call it.
If youre still not sure what this presence really is, then lets look at an
example. In practice its not difficult at all. Look at this sentence:
You are looking at a woman
Who is the subject and who is the object? Who is the one thats
looking, and who is being looked at? Who is the consciousness that is
looking?
You are here the masculine (the subject/consciousness). And woman
is the feminine (the object).
If this had been real life and not just a sentence, the woman would
have felt more feminine, because someone (a consciousness) is looking
at her. And you would have felt more masculine, because you are using
your consciousness to look at a person (an object).
Have you ever looked at an attractive woman, and this powerful
masculine feeling arises in you? Lets call it the I-want-to-take-you-
right-now feeling.
Thats what Im talking about. You are the observer, and she is the
object you are observing. Youre becoming more masculine, and shes
becoming more feminine.
Are you with me here? I told you this was difficult...
Relax! By the end of this book this will be a piece of cake for you. It will
be so obvious that you don't even need to think about it.
And if you don't see the point of knowing this... Then let me tell you:
you'll see the point in a couple of minutes... And you will love it...

The Active Part of Masculinity

The active part of masculinity has to do with the choices you make.
Each time you lead a woman, youre using your masculinity.
While the active part of femininity is about 'yes' or 'no', the active part
of masculinity is about being creative. Every time you make a creative
choice, you become more masculine.
Heres an example:
You have sex with your girlfriend, and you decide to turn her around.
You can say, Turn around! Or you can physically turn her around. Its
not important if you choose to speak or choose to use your muscles.
Either way, you become more masculine, and she becomes more
feminine. Youre making a creative decision and act on it (you lead).
And she chooses to accept (or reject) your lead.
In real life its not necessary to separate the active and passive sides of
masculinity and femininity. Usually they coexist. When you lead a
woman, she becomes the 'object' youre leading.
Let me put it in simpler terms:

Every time you lead a woman, you become more

masculine, and she becomes more feminine.
But what does this has to do with sexual attraction...?
Well... EVERYTHING!
Before we look at sexual attraction and how to make a woman wet, you
have to learn even more theory. You have to understand the difference
between identification and attraction.

Identification and Attraction

Why do women like clothes more than men?
Well, they dont.
Women love to buy and wear beautiful clothes, while men love to look
at women in beautiful clothes. The confusion comes with the words
love and like. Those words arent precise enough.
Lets use the words identification and attraction instead.
Women can identify themselves with clothes, since both women and
clothes are feminine by nature. Men are attracted to clothes, since we
are masculine by nature. We are attracted to the opposite of ourselves.
Why do most men like sports cars?
Lets change the word like with attracted to and identify with.
Men are attracted to sports cars, because they look good. The design
and beauty of a car is part of femininity. Its an object.
Men can also identify themselves with sports cars. They - both cars and
men - are fast, powerful and they can move you (lead you) around.
Thats part of masculinity. If youve ever driven a muscle car, you
probably know what this identification with masculinity is.
Why do both men and women like superhero movies?
Men can identify themselves with the hero. We dont only understand
that he has to save the world, we can feel it. We are the hero.
Women dont get this powerful masculine feeling when they see the
hero. They are attracted to the hero, probably also sexually attracted.
We on the other hand are sexually attracted to the heroine
(femininity). And of course women can identify with the heroine, when
she takes care of and supports the hero.
To put this in other words:

Men can identify themselves with everything

masculine, while women are attracted to everything
masculine.
And

Women can identify themselves with everything

feminine, while men are attracted to everything
feminine.
Now I think youre ready. Lets turn women on...

How to Create Sexual Attraction

The first part of this chapter is by far the most difficult part of this book.
If youre confused right now, then that's understandable. Now the fun
begins. Now youll start to realize how shockingly easy it is to sexually
attract women.
Shockingly easy may seem a little strong, but when I found this out
myself, I was, in fact, shocked.
Earlier in my life, I had been trying to attract women in all kinds of
ways. Wearing nice clothes, using cologne, buying drinks, being really
nice, giving compliments, trying to show how smart I am, being
interesting and funny, etc.
Guess what... It didnt work.
In the end I concluded that I wasnt attractive. It was nothing I could do
about it, I was just too ugly.
I did the same mistake so many guys do. I didnt understand what 'an
attractive man' was, so I concluded that I wasn't good-looking.
Read this sentence, and picture it in your mind: Hes an attractive
man.
Ill bet youre picturing a good-looking man right now. You take it for
granted that a mans attractiveness has something to do with his looks,
don't you? You dont even question it.
You have heard it all your life: an attractive man is a good-looking man.
And of course, since youre attracted to good-looking women, why
shouldnt women be attracted to good-looking men.
As you've already learned, men are attracted to youth and beauty
(looks), because youth and beauty indicate fertility. Since most men,
regardless of age and health, are fertile, there are no good reasons for
women to be attracted to mens age and looks.
Speaking in terms of masculinity and femininity, we are attracted to the
opposite of ourselves. Youth and beauty are part of femininity. Women
are attracted to the opposite - to masculinity.
And masculinity has nothing to do with age and looks, since everything
that can change - such as age and looks - are part of femininity.
The Definition of Sexual Attraction:
Sexual attraction is the feeling of arousal that appears when one person
acts or feels masculine, and the other person acts or feels feminine.
Men are or are not attractive. Sexual attraction is something you do.
Its something you create. You create it by acting or feeling more
masculine.
Never forget this. You create sexual attraction. You create the feeling
of arousal in a woman.
Remember the two parts of masculinity? The passive part and the
active part.
The passive part of masculinity is nothing else than being present.
Empty your mind and do nothing. Just observe things around you by
using your five senses. The active part is to be creative, and to lead
through actions or words.
Let's look at two examples which explain how to create sexual
attraction by using your masculinity.

Example 1: Creating arousal on a date

You meet a girl called Karen online. You dont know much about her
yet, so you invite her out for a cup of coffee.
What do you do to make her sexually attracted to you?
You start by making decisions. You lead the interaction.
You decide where and when to meet. If the time and place is
problematic for her, she will tell you, and you pick another time and
place.
When you meet at the coffee shop, you decide where to sit. When the
waiter approaches, you talk to him. If theres a problem with the order,
you take action and solve the problem. When the bill arrives, you pick
up the bill. If you want to split the bill, you make that decision.
You lead, lead, lead and then you lead some more. Every time you
make a decision, you become more masculine, since creative decision-
making is part of masculinity.
Your date starts to believe that youre a good Stone Age
hunter/protector, since you've all the indicators of a good
hunter/protector, such as assertiveness, calmness, courage,
attentiveness and willingness to make decisions. You are a man who
can provide for her and her family.
All of this is unconscious of course. She doesnt think of this at all. Its
not necessary.
Her genes have programmed her to automatically feel aroused by you.
It's female nature, and she has no control over it. You have all the
control. You have turned her on.
The only thing you have done in this example is making choices
(leading). You do this one simple thing over and over again, and she
feels a pull towards you. She can't help herself.
As I mentioned earlier, her genes dont trust her to get aroused by the
right type of man, so she's genetically programmed to get aroused by
certain indicators. Every time youre leading, youre showing her these
indicators.
Are you with me here?
You just lead, and she's automatically attracted to you. You dont do
anything special - no big bold moves. All the small decisions you make
will gradually build more and more attraction.
Her genes know youll take action in any situation also in dangerous
situations, such as a hunt. You have proven yourself as a man.
Im sure you've heard that women are turned on a little different than
us guys. Mens arousal is like a light switch, while womens arousal is
more like a volume knob.
We see a womans beauty instantly, and we (our genes) dont need
time to know that this is a highly fertile woman. We are ready for sex
right away.
Women need more time to know if a man is a good hunter/protector.
Thats why it takes time to build enough arousal for a woman to say
yes to sex. To turn the volume all the way up, you have to be patient
and keep on building arousal you have to keep on leading.
When a womans arousal level is high enough, she'll be as impatient as
you to have sex. She'll be begging you.
What else can you do to make her feel even more attracted to you?
Leading is the active part of masculinity - now lets use your passive
part of masculinity.
Since youre in a coffee shop, its natural to have a chat. Im not much
of a talker, so I usually just lead the conversation and let my date talk.
Heres an example:
Karen. Tell me what you do for a living ... she talks
So, youre a nurse. What type of nurse? she talks
Really! You work in a hospital as a midwife? Tell me about that. Thats
something I dont know anything about. she talks ...
Arent you nervous youre going to do something wrong? she talks

Oh my God! That really happened! And then what did you do? ...
she talks ...
And so on
Whats going on here? How can this simple chat create any sexual
attraction?
There are two things going on. First of all, you are leading the
conversation. This creates sexual attraction by itself - but you already
knew that.
Second, you are giving her your attention.
Shes talking about her job, which is part of her life (an object). She
becomes more feminine, because shes identifying with something she
has.
You become more masculine, because youre listening to her talking
about something she has. Youre using your consciousness, which is
part of your masculinity.
This is a cumbersome way to say that youre giving her your attention
by listening to her.
Theres a reason why I dont just say: give women attention, thats
what they want. Its not that youre a nice guy and care about her life.
Its a good thing youre a nice guy. That will help a lot when were going
to talk about trust and emotional connection. But being nice has
nothing to do with creating sexual attraction.
Her genes want to know if you're a good hunter. And since youre
patient and attentive when she talks, youre showing her that you
probably are a good hunter. Good hunters are both patient and
attentive.
She doesn't think this, she just feels aroused. It's an automatic
response, which she has no control over. She doesnt make herself
aroused - you make her aroused.
In masculine/feminine terms, patient and attentiveness are part of your
consciousness (masculinity). You don't do anything - you just listen
consciously to her talking about her life.
Does this mean you only have to lead and give your attention to turn
these lovely creatures on?
Yes!! ... Now you get it. THATS IT!!
The more you LEAD and the more you give a woman
your ATTENTION (listening, looking, touching,
smelling and tasting), the hornier she gets.
And of course, the hornier you get.
Side note: Don't forget that sexual attraction is the feeling of arousal. It
doesnt mean anything else. It doesn't mean she thinks you're a good
guy. And it doesnt mean she is going to sleep with you, even though its
now much more likely that she will. Sexual attraction is only the feeling
of arousal.

Example 2: Creating arousal in the bedroom

You and your wife have the evening for yourself. You have both
enjoyed a nice romantic dinner.
After some small talk, you start getting horny. Its been a while since
you last had sex, so you will focus on turning your wife on.
What do you do? How do you get you wife so aroused, that shell let
you do anything you want with her?
This shouldnt be difficult, since you now know the rules of sexual
attraction. Just be masculine.
That is, you lead and you give her your attention. Whatever you do or
say, you have to lead, and you have to give her your attention.
When you do these two things, she'll automatically get aroused. She
hasnt any choice. Sexual attraction isnt a choice, it happens
automatically when you use your masculinity.
You get up from your chair, pick your wife up, carry her into the
bedroom, and you lay her down on the bed. This is something you
havent done before, so she gets a little surprised, and she opens her
mouth to speak.
Before she can say anything, your firmly raise your index finger and
gently lay it on her lips. Then you say with a calm and assertive voice,
Shhh! Be quiet. You dont have to talk right now. She looks at you
intently, but follows your command and lies back on the bed.
You lie down on the bed beside her. You take your time looking at her
face, her eyes, her nose, her mouth and her make up. You take your
time just looking. You are enjoying the way she looks, as if its the first
time you see her.
Gently, you start kissing her neck. You take your time, enjoying the
taste and feel of her skin. As you feel her breath deepening - which is a
sign of arousal - you gently start sucking the side of her neck.
Her breath is deepening even more, and you slowly start licking the
side of her neck. Now you can even hear her breath, shes moaning.
After a couple of minutes you stop tasting her neck, and you look deep
into her eyes. You dont say anything, you just hold her gaze. Your mind
is completely empty - no thoughts, no feelings.
She knows theres nothing she can do right now. She knows she has no
power to fight you. You can do whatever you want with her. She cant
resist. She's yours.
When it comes to sexual attraction, there isnt any difference between
these two examples. Sexual attraction is created the same way every
time.
Whether youre on a date with someone you dont know, or you have
sex with your wife, arousal will always be arousal. Its created when
you lead, and when you give a woman your attention.
You can lead in any shape and manner you like. And you can give your
attention by using any of your five senses. As long as you lead and use
your attention, youre building sexual attraction.
The more time you take to build sexual tension, the hornier your
partner will get.
If you don't believe me, then start looking for this in movies. Every time
a woman is attracted to a man in a movie, it's because the man is
leading and giving her attention.
If you read romance novels, it's the same thing. The heroine always
gets turned on when the hero takes control and leads, and when he
gives her attention.
You can also see this in porn. Watch closely what the guy is doing at the
moment of female arousal. Look for signs of arousal, such as heavy
breathing and hip movements. He may be sucking the womans toes,
kissing her passionately, or spanking her ass.
Even better, try it out yourself and youll see what I mean. This is not
rocket science, guys! It's easy to do. As I mentioned, look for signs of
arousal. Pay close attention to your partners breathing. This is a
reliable measure of how turned on she is.
When you make out or have sex you should always be aware of your
partners breathing. The more sound she makes when she breathes, the
more arousal she feels.
Its worth mentioning that this isnt necessary a gradual progression. If,
for instance, your partner finds it sexual stimulating when you pull her
hair while having sex, youll hear an instant moan when pulling her
hair.
Her arousal level has just gone up several steps by your simple hair
pulling move.
Side note: Now you know that hair pulling turns her on. The next time
you have sex, you can be pretty sure shell react the same way when
you pull her hair.
This is something that is specific for your current girlfriend. Getting
turned on by hair pulling is not universal for all women. But getting
turned on by a man who leads, and a man who gives attention is
universal for all women.
I feel I have to explain yet again what happens when you give a woman
your attention. Its important that you get this.
Let's take toe sucking as a random example.
Why do some women get aroused when you lick or suck their toes? Is
there something special with toes?
Of course not...
It's nothing special with sucking a womans toes. What is happening is
that she is filled with feelings when you suck and lick her toes.
That's the key - feelings. (You have heard that before...)
Feelings are part of femininity, and therefore she becomes more
feminine. If she has sensitive toes, she'll be filled with even more
feelings, and shell be even more aroused. If you passionately suck her
toes, shell yet again be filled with more feelings, and she will be more
turned on.
When youre in bed with a woman, focus on filling her with feelings and
emotions. Especially touch, kiss and lick sensitive areas on her body, for
instance neck, ears, nipples, and waist.
This will fill her up with feelings, and shell become more feminine. The
more you fill her up with feelings the hornier she gets.
When you watch high quality BDSM porn, youll see the same thing.
These guys are experts at getting women aroused - it's their job. They
fill women up with feelings and emotions - usually pain and fear - and
the result is extreme arousal.
Side note: Don't get confused when it comes to pain and fear. These
feelings are not negative feelings, they are just uncomfortable feelings.
Remember that arousal is an uncomfortable feeling too. That's why we
have to get rid of it through an orgasm.

Example 3: Sadness and arousal

Let me tell you about an interesting experience I had with a girl. It
explains how sexual attraction works.
This was some time ago, when I didn't yet understand female arousal.
We had known each other for a couple of months, and we had this
great connection. She was the sweetest and happiest girl you can
imagine, and we had a blast together.
Sex was great, but I hadnt given her an orgasm. Since I had tried hard
to make her come, I concluded that she was one of these girls who
couldn't reach orgasms.
Side note: Now I believe all women can reach orgasm.
The last day we spent together we had some time before I had to go to
the airport flying back home.
As we talked about if we would ever see each other again, I could see
she was getting emotional, and she started tearing up.
This girl was very emotional. When she was happy, she was over the
moon. And when she was sad, she was inconsolable. Now she was sad,
and she couldnt stop crying.
I didnt do anything, except holding her in my arms and telling her
things like, "It's okay, baby... You can cry... I'm here".
30 minutes later, she was all cried out, and completely drained.
Eventually we started kissing (of course...), and I noticed that she was
unusually horny. As we started making out, I laid back on the couch
with her on top of me. I stretched my hand over her back and started to
rub her private parts.
To my big surprise she came within two minutes. What the hell!! What
was going on?
Hopefully you know what was going on. Sadness is just a feeling as any
other feeling. And all feelings are part of femininity. The more she cried
the more feminine she became.
I, on the other hand, was the consciousness that observed her sadness.
I was the emotionless consciousness (masculinity) that allowed her to
be filled with feelings and emotions.
This polarity between masculinity and femininity is what arousal is
made of.
Understand that its necessary to have both masculinity and femininity
present at the same time to create arousal.
If my girlfriend had cried home alone by herself, she would have been
filled with sadness as well. But she wouldnt be aroused.

It's the polarity between masculinity and femininity

that creates sexual tension.
Before we move on, I just want to clear up some words.
In this book I use several words to describe sexual attraction. Arousal,
horny, turned on, sexual feelings, attraction and sexual tension. All
these words have the same meaning.
Its the feeling you get when you want to have sex with. And the feeling
you have when you need the sweet release of an orgasm.
Another thing about sexual attraction.
This feeling of arousal is the same if youre on a date, or if youre having
sex. The only difference is the strength of the feeling. On a date you
dont have to create a lot of sexual attraction, but you have to create
some, or else your date won't come home with you.
When you want a woman to orgasm, you have to create much more
sexual attraction, or else she wont reach orgasm.
Let's recap sexual attraction/tension.

Sexual Attraction - Summed Up

First, you have to understand that sexual attraction isnt a magical thing
that just happens by chance.
Second, you are never attractive. You create attraction.
This means you can make any woman attracted to you anytime you
want, since its a choice you make.
Sexual attraction/tension is similar to the attraction between two
magnets. You can't see the attraction, but it isnt magical, it's a real
force of nature.
If you separate the two magnets, the attraction is gone, even though
the magnets dont change. Bring them together again, and the
attraction is back.
This force of nature can only exist when you have the two magnets
close together, and when you point the north pole (masculinity)
together with the south pole (femininity).
Between men and women, the invisible force of nature called sexual
attraction appears every time a man acts/behave masculine and a
woman acts/behave feminine. This may seem like magic, but it isn't. Its
human nature. We are programmed to react this way.
You don't have to wait for your partner to become/act/feel feminine,
since every time you act or feel more masculine, your partner will
automatically become more feminine.
Just like a magnet cant choose to turn off its magnetism, a woman
cant choose to not feel sexual attraction towards you. She is
genetically programmed to respond to your masculinity, she can't help
herself.
The only thing she can choose to do is to not follow her feelings of
arousal - which is of course difficult to do.
Since every woman is genetically programmed to get aroused in the
same way, you can attract any woman you want to attract. If you have
the skill to attract one woman, you have the skill to attract every
woman you meet.
This doesnt mean that every woman you meet wants to have sex with
you, since sexual attraction is only one of four factors women look for
in men. (The three other factors are emotional connection, trust and
social status.)
How do you behave in a masculine way?
There are many aspects of masculinity. I mentioned several of the
masculine indicators in chapter 2, such as single-minded focus,
assertiveness, aggression, physical force, etc.
Later in this book we'll go into more details about behaving in a
masculine way, but for now, forget all of these masculine indicators.
When it comes to sexual attraction we can make it really simple.
There are only two things you have to do to turn a woman on.
1. Lead (Make decisions)
2. Be present (Give her your attention)
This may seem simple... But guess what - it is.
If sexual attraction was difficult to create, you would never have been
born. Every one of your male ancestors has successfully turned on at
least one woman. The fact that most men find it difficult to turn women
on comes from our social conditioning.
We have learned to suppress who we really are. As soon as you become
honest with yourself and accept your masculine feelings and needs, you
will be surprised how easy it is to attract women. You can just be
yourself.
You have heard that before, haven't you? BE YOURSELF.
Women say it all the time. They want men who are themselves, and
men who live their own lives. They don't mean be yourself as an
insecure little boy, who calls his mother or friends for advice every time
he faces a challenge.
They don't mean be yourself as a self-depriving man, who don't know
that he has deep seeded hunger for women. Women want men who
are honest with themselves at any level.
And they want men who are brave enough to act on their feelings and
needs - whatever those feelings may be.
They want men who lead their own lives.
It's your choice to be a leader of your own life, or a follower of others.
You can't have it both ways. You can't be a leader and a follower at the
same time. You have to make a choice.
If you choose to be a follower (and I don't blame you, it's much easier),
you won't have good sexual relationships with women. If you choose to
be a leader (of your own life), you are going to have a blast with
women. Its that simple.
Why?
Because every time you lead, you create sexual attraction.
Don't know how to lead? Don't worry. I'll teach you in the next chapter.
First we have to look at the connection between sexual attraction and
orgasms.

Sexual Attraction, Vaginal Stimulation and

Orgasms
Have you ever wondered if there's a recipe for giving women orgasms?
Wouldnt it be great if there was certain steps you could go through
that would almost guarantee a woman to come.
I'm sure you have heard that every woman is different and every
woman needs different kinds of stimulation to get an orgasm. This is
only partly true.
When it comes to vaginal stimulation, women are very different. Some
needs clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm, while others don't like
clitoral stimulation. Some like to have their G-spot or deep-spot
fingered, while others think its uncomfortable to get fingered.
When it comes to arousal there are differences as well.
For instance, most women get very turned on by being kissed or licked
on the side of their necks. But there are women who don't like this, or
don't get turned on by this.
You can only find these differences by try and error.

There's no other way to find out what your current

partner likes than to try different things.
Even though there are many differences between women, there are
some common threads at the basic level. As you know, thats what this
book is all about. There is in fact a recipe you can follow to give a
woman an orgasm.
An orgasm is a response to certain stimuli. You have to know what
those stimuli are, and in with order you must execute them.
Definition of orgasm:
The sudden decrease of sexual tension (arousal), brought on by vaginal
stimulation.
Imagine you're blowing up a balloon. You slowly fill it with air, building
up surface tension in the balloon. Then you poke the balloon with a
needle and let it explode.
This is similar to the relationship between arousal, vaginal stimulation
and an orgasm.
Let me explain.
During foreplay, you build sexual tension. The more foreplay, the more
energy or tension is stored in the woman (the balloon).
When you start to stimulate your partners vagina (poking the balloon),
the stored up tension will release through an orgasm (the explosion of
the balloon).
If you don't blow up the balloon enough, it wont burst. Even if you get
it to bust, there wont be much of an explosion. But if you blow up the
balloon as much as you can, it's easy to get it to burst, and the
explosion will be both loud and intense.
It's the same with women and orgasms. When your partner is fully
aroused, shell easily reach orgasm. And it will be both loud and
intense.
A common mistake we guys do is that we don't build enough sexual
attraction/tension during foreplay. Either because we don't know how
to do it, or because we're impatient and rush through foreplay.
It's possible to build arousal and stimulate the vagina at the same time,
but it's usually not that effective. It's like trying to blow up the balloon
and poking it with a needle at the same time. You're constantly
releasing the tension.
Wait with vaginal stimulation until your partner is highly aroused. Then
you can stimulate her vagina. Especially when youre with a woman
that dont come that easily, make sure she's fully charged up before
you start stimulating her vagina.

Example: Arousal and vaginal stimulation

After 5 minutes of making out with your girlfriend, you start having
intercourse. A couple of minutes later you notice that your girlfriend
isn't aroused at all.
You stop having intercourse, and you start kissing and touching your
girlfriend's body. You take your time enjoying her body. Touching,
kissing licking and tasting every part of her.
20 minutes later your girlfriend is breathing heavily, and her hips are
constantly moving. These are clear signs of arousal. You put your right
hand between her legs, and feel she's dripping wet. Even her inner
thighs are wet - well done.
While you start to stimulate her clitoris with your fingers, you continue
with the kissing and touching. As she's getting closer to orgasm, you
gently start to bite the side of her neck, while you firmly tug her hair
with your left hand.
Right before your girlfriend orgasm, you bite the side of her neck
harder, just to help her reach her orgasm.
In this example there isn't that much going on. At a basic level you are
only doing three different things. Creating arousal, creating an
emotional connection and stimulating her vagina.
(Since you havent learned about emotional connection yet, forget that
for now.)
After only 5 minutes with creating arousal, your girlfriend is clearly not
ready for intercourse. Wisely you stop having intercourse and start
focusing on building sexual tension.
Kissing and touching a womans body (giving attention) are two
effective ways to arouse a woman in bed. You make sure to take your
time filling her with feelings, which creates sexual tension. The more
she feels, the more arousal you create.
Since women also need to feel an emotional connection when having
sex, you make sure you intermittently kiss her on the mouth. This will
make her feel love and intimacy.
(Don't worry if you don't understand this last part. Emotional
connection will be fully explained in chapter 6.)
As you start stimulating her clitoris, you keep on kissing and touching
your girlfriends body. In this way youll make sure she doesnt lose her
arousal again.
Tugging her hair and biting the side of her neck (treating her as an
object/filling her with feelings), will build even more arousal, helping
her to finally reach her orgasm.
After the orgasm, all the sexual tension is gone. If you want your
partner to come again, you have to start building sexual tension once
more.
Right after you give your partner an orgasm, you might use some time
to strengthening your emotional connection, but you don't have to. You
can just keep on going if you want to. Get her aroused again, and then
give her a new release.
Repeat this cycle as many times as you like.
Women are differed from men when it comes to orgasms. While we
need a long time to recuperate after an orgasm, most women do not. In
fact, women often get aroused more easily after the first orgasm. And
they achieve a new orgasm faster the second time around.
Women are some fascinating little devils, arent they...

How to Give a Woman an Orgasm - In 3 Steps

Step 1
Create as much sexual attraction as you can, by leading and by giving
your attention to your partner's body. Kiss, lick, bite and touch her body
in any way you like. This will fill her up with feelings and emotions.
Its not important what kind of feelings and emotions your partner
experiences. Any feelings and emotions, even pain and fear will make
her more feminine, since all feelings and emotions belong to femininity.
Side note: Remember that every woman is different when it comes to
physical stimulation. Try out different things to find out what your
partner reacts to.
Look for signs of arousal, such as heavy breathing, moaning and hip
movements. These signs of arousal will tell you what works. A woman
appreciates a man that takes his time to get to know her body. And of
course, its great fun.

Step 2
Start to stimulate your partners vagina only after she's highly aroused.
The more time you have spent on creating arousal, the faster she will
reach orgasm. You can use your fingers, your tongue, your penis, or a
vibrator. The tool you use is not important.
If you feel it's necessary, keep on creating arousal and emotional
connection while touching her vagina.
Side note: Again, remember that every woman is different when it
comes to physical and vaginal stimulation. Even if your last girlfriend
loved your vibrator, it doesnt mean your current girlfriend likes it.
Try and error is the only way to find out what's working and whats not
working.

Step 3
Repeat these two steps as many times as you like, or until your partner
is completely exhausted.

Sex Is More than Orgasms

Even though this recipe for getting women to orgasm is pretty straight
forward, it doesnt mean that its always easy. Sometimes it's difficult
to make women come. There are so many factors at play when it comes
to female orgasm.
Many women need to feel deep love and trust before they can allow
themself to orgasm. This means you have to create love and trust in
your relationship before giving your partner an orgasm.
Be patient and don't get obsessed with making her come. If a woman
feels pressure to orgasm, shell never have one.
Another thing is that a lot of women know surprisingly little about their
own bodies and their own sexuality. Many have negative thoughts
about sex and about their own bodies as well.
Some women simply have to learn how to have an orgasm. After they
have an orgasm for the first time, they suddenly get it they now
know how to do it. Even though it helps that you do things right, a
woman eventually has to make herself orgasm.
All this means that if you can't give a woman an orgasm, then don't
think that youre doing something wrong.
When I'm with a girl for the first time, I often cant give her orgasms.
Especially if she's young and inexperienced. You can do everything
right and still shes miles away from coming.
Remember that for women, sex is much more than orgasms. Thinking
that sex without an orgasm is a failure couldnt be further from the
truth.
Don't try too hard to make a woman orgasm. Instead, enjoy the time
you spend together, and stay in the present moment.
It's not the outcome of sex that is important for a woman - it's sex itself
thats important.
 Chapter 5

How to Lead a Woman, Part 1 The Basics

Its imperative for a man to lead in a sexual setting.

In a bar, on a date, or in bed, you have to take the lead.
There are several reasons why you should lead:
- To find out what you want to do
- To find out what your partner wants to do
- Create sexual attraction
- Create an emotional connection
- Create trust
- If you dont lead, nothing happens duh!
Most women hate to take charge in a sexual setting. They cant stand it.
You may be in a relationship with a strong and decisive business
woman. She makes decisions all day, but when it comes to romance
and sex, she still wants you to lead.
This has nothing to do with laziness, or that she isnt attracted to you.
Its part of female nature. The feminine side of a woman likes to make
decisions by being led.
This sounds strange, since we usually think of being led as passivity. But
that's not true.
When you lead a woman, she still has to make decisions. Every time
you do or say something, your partner has to make a choice. She has to
say yes or no to your lead.
(I know... This is pretty obvious. But a lot of guys don't seem to get this
- I didn't.)
Its wrong to believe that the one who leads has all the power. The one
who is led has equal amount of power. Its also wrong to believe its a
50-50 split of power. Its 100-100.
The man who leads is 100% responsible for his actions, and the woman
who is led is 100% responsible for her actions.
If you for instance choose to hogtie your girlfriend and beat her with a
cane, then it's her choice to accept or reject. Your girlfriend might feel
extremely powerful when she's tied up and beaten - because its her
choice.
In this chapter we're going to look at the basics of how to lead women.
In Chapter 9 we'll look at what to do when a woman rejects your lead.
And in Chapter 11 you will learn how to get women to do almost
anything you want to do.

The 3 Steps of Leading

When I went to high school, I had a friend who could approach any
woman, talk to her, and turn her on.
I thought women liked him for his looks and for his confidence, so I
didnt ask him how he did it. I didn't realize he was just leading the
conversation.
Lets look at what leading really is.
(The following is so obvious that it may seem absurd. However, it
wasn't obvious for me, and I think it will be helpful for some of you.)
To lead is to go around in a circle. You go through three different steps
every time you lead. First step 1, then step 2, and then step 3. Then you
go back to step 1, and start the cycle again.
Step 1: Feelings
Step 2: Make a decision
Step 3: Your partner's response

Step 1 of Leading: Feelings

A common mistake we guys do is that we try to figure out what to do
by thinking. If you try to figure out what to do with your rational mind,
then nothing will happen. You have to feel, not think.
Have you ever been with an attractive woman, trying to come up with
something smart to say?
Yeah, me too... You're trying to think, but nothing happens.
When your girlfriend stands naked in front of you, why think? Just look
at her and enjoy. Use your senses.
When you let go of your rational mind, then you start being creative.
Your rational mind will always block your creativity, and nothing will
happen. You're stuck in your own head.
Instead, let go and don't try to do anything. Just be present, and enjoy
your partner. Even if you just stand there looking at her, you will at
least create sexual attraction - since you give her attention.
For instance, you look at your hot naked girlfriend lying beside you in
bed. There are ten or maybe a hundred things you want to do to her.
Just pick one. Its not that difficult, as long as you dont think about it.
And as long as youre honest with your feelings and needs.
Another common mistake we guys do is that we're thinking of what our
partner wants. Unless youre a mind-reader, this wont work. How can
you know what anyone wants, except yourself?
And you can't ask your partner...
Because if you ask her, you're forcing her to use her creative masculine
side. She wants to be feminine, not masculine. She wants to say yes or
no to your suggestions.
If you really want to upset your partner, you can say, Tell me what you
want me to do, and I'll do it? Now you're playing the feminine part to
the fullest, while you're forcing her to play the masculine part. This will
kill any sexual attraction.
Step 1 has nothing to do with your partner. It's about what you want
to do.
Step 1 is also about being in the present moment. What do you feel like
doing right now? If you wait, its too late. You can only lead in the
present moment.
Step 1 of leading - summed up
- It's about what you want to do.
- It's about what you feel. And you don't choose the things you feel.
- It's about the present moment. What do you feel like doing right
now?

Step 2 of Leading: Make a Decision

There's one obvious problem with step 1: you have no control over
your feelings.
You can't decide what kinds of feeling and needs that will pop up into
your mind. You may walk past a sexy woman on the street, and you
suddenly feel like having sex with her. You know you can't do that its
called rape!
To stop yourself from doing something stupid, you can of course use
your rational mind. But that wont work. It takes too long, and its too
many variables to calculate.
That sexy woman may be your girlfriend, and it may be acceptable to
drag her into a dark alley and take her. But what if she isnt aroused
right now? Then its still rape. Your rational mind is clearly not the right
tool for the job.
Leading is about doing things right away. Therefore, you have to use
your intuition, not your rational mind.
Your intuition usually always knows whats right or wrong in the
situation youre in. And best of all, it takes no time. You know it right
away.
Your intuition will give you one of two answers: Yes or no.
If your intuition tells you no, then this isnt right to do. Go back to step
1 and see what else you feel like doing. If your intuition tells you yes,
then just do it, and move on to step 3.
If your intuition is off - and it happens - it's no big deal. You always lead
in small steps, so your partner has time to stop you. (More on that in
chapter 11.)
And also, you cant be a 100% certain what your partner wants anyway.
That's one of the reasons you lead in the first place: to find out what
your partner wants to do.
You are the creative force that constantly comes up with new things to
do, and you lead to find out if your partner wants to do the same
things.
When you get more experience with women, youll see that your
intuition is usually spot on. You will just "know" what women want in
certain situations.
Step 2 of leading - summed up
- Your rational mind is useless in bed.
- Use your intuition to decide what to do.

Step 3 of Leading: Your Partners Response

Step 3 is no longer about what you want. Now your partner has to
make a choice. Only she knows whats right for her.
Whenever you do something that's unacceptable for her, then she will
tell you. She'll say yes or no. Usually not with words, but as a subtle
signal.
This signal might be very subtle, but its easy to know if she means yes
or no. Many think it's difficult to understand women's subtle signals,
but this is not the case.
Why would women send signals no one would understand? As long as
youre outside your own head, youll pick up on every subtle signal she
sends you.
If she says yes, then you go back to step 1 and start the cycle again.
If she says no, then you also go back to step 1, but now you have to
lead in another direction. She has just told you that this isnt
acceptable for her right now. Maybe its acceptable in 5 minutes, or
next week, but not right now.
Did you get that?
You always lead in the present moment. No means no right now. Don't
add any additional meaning to it.
Step 3 of leading - summed up
- Your partner has to make a choice.
- It's your job to observe her response to your lead.
- Her response will be either 'yes' or 'no'.
- Her response is usually subtle and without words.
- It's never difficult to know if she means 'yes' or 'no'.
- If she rejects your lead (if she says no), then go back to step 1, and use
your feelings to come up with something else to do.
- Rejection is not a rejection of you. It's a rejection to your lead. It's a
rejection of what you felt like doing. Therefore, it's no big deal.
- No means no right now. Women live in the present moment. 5
seconds later, or 5 weeks later she might say 'yes'.
- Lets look at two examples. The first one is absurdly simple, but try to
understand the dynamics of leading. It will help you when things start
getting more complicated.

Example 1: Going Out to Eat

Step 1:
You're home together with your girlfriend. Youre hungry, and feel like
going out for pizza.
This is not a rational choice. You feel like going out for pizza.
Step 2:
You say to your girlfriend: Im hungry. Lets go out for pizza!?
You made a decision to ask your girlfriend out for pizza. Since this is
such a simple example, you don't really have to check in with your
intuition.
And you definitely don't have to use your rational mind. Just say to your
girlfriend that you're hungry and want to go out for pizza.
Step 3:
As always when you lead, you have to look for your partners response.
You girlfriend doesn't say anything, but she shrugs her shoulders.
This is clearly a rejection. Even though it's a subtle signal, there's no
way you're going to interpret her response as a 'yes'.
However, you dont know the reason she doesn't want to go out for
pizza. Maybe she isnt hungry, maybe she doesnt want to go out, or
maybe she isnt in the mood for pizza.
What do you do?
You lead some more. One of the reasons for leading is to find out what
your partner wants to do. So you have to continue.
Again you go back to step 1, and you let your feelings decide what
you're going to say or do.
Here's an example:
You say: Are you hungry? (Step 1 and step 2)
She answers: Yes. (Step 3)
You say: Do you want to go out to eat? (Step 1 and step 2)
She answers: Ok. (Step 3)
You say: What about Chinese food? (Step 1 and step 2)
She smiles and answers: That sounds great!

The point of leading isnt to find out what you want -

its about what you both want.
Your first choice in this example was to go out for pizza. Your second
choice was to go out for Chinese food. And that was something she
wanted as well.
Obvious... Yes, I know. But you have to understand that women hate
being creative and taking the lead. Especially in more sexual situations.
If you say to a woman, "What do you want to do?", then you'll create
frustration.
A woman is more comfortable with saying yes or no to your
suggestions. And as a bonus, she'll feel sexual attraction towards you.
Let's look at another example.

Example 2: Ass Spanking

Step 1:
You're taking your partner doggy-style, and you feel like spanking her
ass.
Again, this is something you feel like doing. You don't choose the things
you feel, and you don't even have to know why you feel like spanking
your partner.
And you shouldn't even be thinking about it. Sex is about doing
whatever you feel like doing - and now you feel like spanking some ass.
Step 2:
Is it okay to spank your partner? Does she like it? Did she like it the last
time you spanked her?
All these questions will drive you insane. And you don't have the time
to start thinking about them.
Here is where your intuition comes in. Your intuition knows the
answers to all these questions. You don't have to think about it,
because your intuition has already calculated all the variables.
If you have spanked your partner in the past, and she liked it, then your
intuition will tell you that you can spank your partner's ass. If your
partner got angry the last time you spanked her, then your intuition will
tell you to do something else instead.
In other words, you'll feel what's right to do - as long as you don't start
thinking about it. Trust your intuition.
Step 3:
You decided to spank your partner, because your intuition didn't have
any objections.
As you spank her, you have to look for her response. Her response will
tell you what to do next. If she gives you a sign to stop, then simply do
something else.
If she gives you a sign that she likes it, or if she doesn't give you any
signs at all, then go ahead and spank her again - if you feel like it.
This time you can even spank her harder, as long as you look for her
response.
I know I'm trying to teach you something completely obvious. But you
have to understand that its essential to get the dynamics of leading.
When you lead, you are the creative force, which is part of your
masculinity.
Since women are attracted to masculinity, you will create sexual
attraction for every small lead you take. You will build more and more
arousal, and eventually your partners arousal level is on full.
You go through these 3 steps over and over again. In this way you will
find out what you want to do, and what your partner wants to do -
without even thinking about it. This frees your mind to do anything you
feel like doing.
You can't do anything wrong anymore. Your partner will just give you a
sign to move in another direction. When a woman says 'no', it doesn't
mean you have done something bad or wrong. No just means no,
nothing else.
And by the way, when a woman rejects you lead, you will still create
sexual attraction. It's the fact that youre leading that creates arousal.
This means that it can be difficult for a woman to reject your lead, since
she feels instant attraction towards you when you lead.
And also, you will learn in chapter 9 that every time you get a 'no' from
a woman, and you accept it without being a bitch about it, you create
trust. This means that every time a woman rejects your lead, you will
create both arousal and trust simultaneously.
And it doesnt stop there. Even when a woman rejects your lead she
will still be thankful that you are brave enough to go for what you want.
She will respect and love you for being in contact with your own
feelings and needs.
And most of all, she will feel calm and at ease around you, since she
doesnt have to come up with things to do - she knows that youll do
that for her.
When there is no fear of doing anything wrong, and when you are free
of your rational mind, then creativity starts flourishing. Inside of you,
this awesome feeling of power arises.
This is your masculine side awakening. You know you can do anything
you want to your partner. Absolutely anything.
When youre in bed - or anywhere else - you can feel your heart racing.
You can feel the rush of energy flowing through your body. You feel
strong and assertive.
This feeling of power is fueled by your partners femininity. You look at
her hot body, taste her smooth skin, touch her sexy curves, smell her
sent, and listen to her moaning.
You accept and enjoy this masculine side of yourself fully, and your
partner will match your masculinity by going even deeper into her
femininity.
Its imperative to understand that you have to let go of you mind. You
have to let your feelings take over fully. Sex is not about doing
anything rational. (I know you are tired of hearing me say this, but it's
essential.)
If you want to do sick and dirty things to your partner, DO IT!!
If you want to make tender love to your woman, DO IT!!
Sex is about letting out deep seated fantasies. These fantasies may be
extreme or dark, but you have to let them out. Your partner wants you
to let them out, just as much as you want her to do the same.
Lead the way, and have courage to be honest with yourself. Do
whatever you feel like doing - then she'll do the same.
Your partner is there for your enjoyment. She is there to be used.
Thats what she wants and expects from you.
Use her to please yourself.
Tie her up, beat her, fuck her, slap her face, do whatever you want. You
dont need anyone's permission. And dont worry, shell stop you if you
go too far.
Only you know what you feel like doing. Dont ask anyone for advice -
not even your partner. Just go to your feelings - they will tell you what
to do.

Leading, Dominating and Controlling

In this book I want to be as precise as possible. Sometimes words can
be a source of misunderstandings.
The two words 'leading' and 'dominating' have the same meaning in
this book. Every time you lead, you are dominating, and vice versa.
In the real world I might use the two words in a different way, but here
in this book, leading and dominating are the same things. Every time
you go through the three steps, you are leading/dominating.
'Controlling' on the other hand, is something different. It's, in fact, the
opposite of leading/dominating. When you lead, you are trying to find
out what both you and your partner want to do.
But when you're trying to control your partner, you only care about
yourself, and you don't take 'no' for an answer.

Never try to control a woman. Its the fastest way to

misery.
The difference between leading and controlling is usually subtle. If your
partner rejects your lead, and you react with frustration, then you are
controlling, not leading. If you start to argue when your partner rejects
you lead, then you are controlling.
This must never happen in a relationship. It will ruin all trust.
Women you'll meet in the real world don't use the artificial language
were using in this book. For instance, a woman might say "I love that
my boyfriend is controlling in bed." or "I love men who take control."
This has nothing to do with real control. She is just saying she enjoys
being dominated. No one likes to be controlled.

A woman will love and respect you for leading her.

But she will hate and resent you for controlling her.
The irony here is that controlling women is unnecessary.
If you want a woman to follow your lead, then she will almost always
do so, as long as she knows you always takes 'no' for an answer. The
more you try to control someone, the more resistance you'll get.
In other words:
Nice guys always win...
 Chapter 6

Emotional Connection

Finally we have arrived at what I think is the best, and also the most
important thing about sex: emotional connection.
If youre asking yourself, what is emotional connection? Then you're
definitely a man.
Its inconceivable for women to understand that men don't know what
it is.
Every woman on this planet knows what emotional connection is, and
every woman alive wants it.
Sure, women want men who can create strong sexual attraction. But
they crave men who can create a deep emotional connection.
If you want a great relationship and great sex, you better learn what
emotional connection is, and how to create it.

What is Emotional Connection?

What is the connection part of emotional connection? And what is
connected?
You remember that sexual attraction is the polarity or connection
between the masculine and the feminine.
When you look at a womans body, youre creating sexual attraction,
because you (subject) look at a womans body (object). Your
consciousness (the real you) looks at something she owns (her body).
Sexual attraction is therefore the connection between two opposites.
Emotional connection however, is the opposite of sexual attraction. Its
the 'real you', connecting with the 'real her'. Your consciousness
connecting with her consciousness.
No objects are involved. No feelings, thoughts, life history. Nothing.
Your empty mind connected with her empty mind.
Why is emotional connection important for women?
The result of emotional connection is love. The definition of love is one
person connected to another person. Without emotional connection,
love and intimacy are impossible.
Another word for love, and a more understandable word for us guys, is
respect. When you meet someone you dont know, man or woman, you
will respect that person regardless of what you know about him or her.
When you hold eye contact with a little child, you will feel love and
respect, even though you dont know what that childs feelings and
thoughts are. 'Objects' are no longer important.
When you create emotional connection with a woman, she will feel
love, respect and closeness. Love, respect and closeness are essential
for sex. You cant even create sexual attraction without emotional
connection.
For us guys its possible to have sex without any emotional connection.
But for women, its not.
Did you get that?
When a woman has sex, and there isnt enough emotional connection,
she will feel uncomfortable. Its like some stranger is doing things with
her body. It feels like she's alone.
You don't have to understand this, you can't. I certainly can't - I'm not a
woman. All we can do is to know how important emotional connection
is for women, and make sure we create enough emotional connection
for women to feel comfortable.

How to Create Emotional Connection

How can you create something that is nothing? Your feeling of 'I', and
her feeling of 'I' aren't anything. What do you do?
Its often better to use another word for emotional connection:
communication. When you communicate with a woman, you create
emotional connection. Communication and emotional connection are
the same things.
Im sure you have overheard women talking to each other. Often they
talk about nothing, and they can do it for hours.
When we guys talk, we usually talk about something. And usually
there's a problem we have to solve. We hope we can reach a
conclusion, so we can stop talking and do something more interesting.
Women dont talk to reach a conclusion. They talk to talk. They talk to
communicate. When they talk they create an emotional connection.
This leads to feelings of love, respect, closeness and intimacy.
That's the whole point of creating and emotional connection -
building love and intimacy.
But how do you do it in a sexual setting? How do you create an
emotional connection in a bar, on a date, or in bed?
There are four basic ways to create an emotional connection.
1. Talking
2. Eye contact
3. Kissing (on the mouth)
4. Holding hands
The common denominator here is two-way communication. Emotional
connection is always two-way communication.
When you kiss a womans hand, you are kissing her body, which creates
sexual attraction. When you kiss a womans lips however, you are not
only creating sexual attraction, you are creating emotional connection
as well.
Why?
Because its two-way communication. She feels your lips move, and at
the same time you feel her lips move. Kissing is in that sense the same
as talking. Youre both sending each other signals back and forth.
Let's look at several examples which explain this two-way
communication.

Example 1: Emotional Connection and Doggy-Style

You have sex with your girlfriend, and you decide to take her from
behind, doggy-style. After a couple of minutes, she starts feeling
uncomfortable.
Its not that you are doing anything wrong - you just forgot to
communicate with her. There is no talking, no eye contact, no kissing
and no holding hands. And therefore, no emotional connection.
You have to choose one of the four basic methods for creating an
emotional connection.
Kissing, eye contact and holding hands are difficult in this position. The
best choice is to start talking.
What you say is not important. Remember, women just like to connect.
Since it has to be two-way communication, say something that gives a
response, such as, Tell me youre my dirty whore!!
Now the emotional connection is back.
She doesn't have to respond with words, though. The talking part when
it comes to sex is often just heavy breathing or moaning.

Example 2: Emotional Connection and Blowjobs

Your wife is down on her knees, pleasing herself with your cock.
Now you can easily create an emotional connection by talking. You
might say, A little slower, baby thats it (youre moaning) and little
deeper deeper ohh, yes!! (youre moaning) ....
You are creating an emotional connection, because you are
communicating.
You are sending her signals through your commands and your moaning.
And she's responding by giving you a better blowjob.
This means that she isn't enjoying a random cock. Shes enjoying YOUR
cock.
Please dont misunderstand this last part. The word YOUR has nothing
to do with you being a loving husband. The word YOUR means your
consciousness.
If your wife had enjoyed your neighbors cock, and your neighbor had
talked in the same way, she would have felt an emotional connection as
well. It's just communication, nothing else.

Example 3: Emotional Connection and Lovemaking

You and your girlfriend make sweet, tender love. You lie on top of her,
penetrating her deeply and slowly. Your hands are locked together, and
youre alternating between kissing softly, and gazing into each others
eyes.
Holding hand, kissing and eye contact all create an emotional
connection. You will both feel love and intimacy.
Example 4: Emotional Connection at the Movies
You're at the movies with your date, and you're holding hands.
Now you have an emotional connection. You are not two strangers
watching the movie side by side. You are both watching a movie
together.
At random intervals you'll send signals back and forth through your
hands. The movie may be good or bad, but thats not important. You
will both feel love and intimacy, because you are together - you are
connected.
This may seem unimportant to you, but it's important for your date.
Trust me ... it is.

How Much Emotional Connection Must You

Create?
This is kind of a strange question. It sounds like it's an annoyance to
create emotional connection.
I personally think emotional connection is the greatest thing about sex,
since it creates love and intimacy. What's better than love and
intimacy?
But it's still a valid question, since you have to know when women get
this uncomfortable feeling of being alone.
When you're on a date, or when you've sex, you cant communicate all
the time. That would be unnatural and exhausting. How much do you
have to communicate?
Here are two simple rules to follow.
Rule 1: You can break the emotional connection as often as you want.
Rule 2: The breaks cant be too long. (Depending on the situation.)
Breaking the emotional connection is never a problem. Things will only
get uncomfortable if the breaks get too long. Depending on the
situation, more than 30 second to 2 minutes is usually too long.
These two examples explain the two rules:

Example 1: Dinner date

You and your date enjoy a nice dinner at a restaurant. Youre talking,
and after a while the conversation stops. You both start focusing on
your food.
This is of course natural and unproblematic.
After 30 seconds you start talking again. You talk for a couple of
minutes, and then the conversation stops again. You look out the
window for a couple of seconds, then you look at your date, and hold
her gaze for a couple of seconds (eye contact).
Then you focus on your food again, and so on.

Example 2: Massage
You ask your wife if she wants an oil massage. She accepts, and lies
down on the bed. For the next 30 minutes there's no emotional
connection at all. You want your wife to relax, so you stop
communicating.
This is of course okay. And necessary for your wife to relax. Emotional
connection can be strenuous, since it demands a lot of mental focus.
If this had been a woman you didnt know that well, then 30 minutes
would probably have been too long. Your partner would after a while
felt like you were a stranger touching her body.
In other words, when you're in a long term relationship, you can break
the emotional connection for a long time before things get
uncomfortable.
 Chapter 7

How to Change a Woman's Emotions

This is, in my opinion, the most exciting chapter in this book.

When I learned what Im going to teach you here, my success with
women skyrocketed. At times it felt like I had total control over a
womans feelings and emotions.
As with everything thats worth learning, it can be difficult in the
beginning. I want you to read this chapter slowly. Take your time to
understand it - dont just read it.
Hopefully you have already learned that sex is about feelings and
emotions. If you cant change a womans feelings, then you cant have
sex. I mean this literally - women will only have sex when they feel like
it. Its never a rational choice.
You have also learned that there are only two basic emotions that
govern sex - arousal and intimacy. These are the two emotions you
have to be able to change both inside of yourself and inside of your
partner.
The two primary ways to create arousal are by leading, and by giving
attention to your partners body. When you lead and give attention,
you create what I call sexual attraction. This is the main way to create
arousal. Up to this point I have treated sexual attraction and arousal as
synonyms.
Intimacy is created when you communicate with your partner. The four
main ways to communicate are eye contact, talking, kissing and holding
hands. I call this emotional connection. Up to this point I have treated
emotional connection and intimacy as the same thing.
In this chapter youll learn two new ways to create both arousal and
intimacy. I want you to forget about sexual attraction and emotional
connection for now. They are still essential in the bedroom, but they
have their limits. If you want your partner to feel more arousal and
intimacy than she has ever felt before, then this chapter will teach you
everything you need to know.

Changing Emotions Indirectly

First some bad news. I have to teach you a bit more about the yin/yang
theory. Im not doing this to make things more complex, Im doing this
to make it easy. When you understand the yin/yang theory, and when
you understand the simplicity of this theory, youll see how useful it is
in the bedroom.
To make it simpler, Ill stick to the words femininity and masculinity
(For the record: femininity is yin, and masculinity is yang.)
First two misconceptions regarding the yin/yang theory:
Misconception #1:
Man equals masculinity, and woman equals femininity.
This is not quite right. For instance, if you and your partner have wild,
dirty sex, then both of you are acting/feeling masculine, since wild and
dirty belong to masculinity. (More on this later)
Misconception #2:
Something is either masculine or feminine.
This is the most difficult part of the yin/yang theory. If you dont get
this next part, its no big deal. This is one of those things that are
difficult in theory, but easy in practice. Its like thinking about how to
walk when youre walking - its unnecessary and youll probably
stumble.
But here it is anyway.
The yin/yang theory is a relativity theory. This means that something
can be both masculine and feminine depending on what you compare it
to. An aggressive man is feminine if you compare him to an even more
aggressive man. Thus, your partner can be feminine and masculine at
the same time.
Lets take spanking as an example.
In chapter 4 you learned that the subject is masculine and the object is
feminine. For instance, you are spanking your woman. Here, you is
the subject, and your woman is the object. You become more
masculine, and she becomes more feminine. That you already knew.
And now the difficult part.
At the same time, your partner is getting aroused. Arousal is part of
masculinity, therefore, she will also become more masculine when you
spank her. In other words, when talking about subject and object, she
becomes more feminine. But when talking about the feeling she is
feeling arousal then she becomes more masculine.
If this is confusing, then I apologize. Im very theoretical by nature and I
tend to nitpick. If youre more practical, then here is my advice to you:
dont think about it - its not important. The rest of this chapter is very
straightforward I promise.
Now, how do you use the masculine/feminine theory (the yin/yang
theory) in practice?
Since everything can be divided into masculinity and femininity, we can
make a list.
Masculinity Femininity
To lead To be led
Domination Submission
 Aggression Calmness
Force Weakness
Arousal Intimacy
Sexy Sweet
Experience Virginity
Fear Comfort
Hard Soft
Tight Loose
High Low
Black White
Red Pink
Dirty Clean
Sick Healthy
Taking Giving
Being bad Being nice
High energy Low energy
Brutal Kind
Assertive Shy
Subject Object
Fucking - Lovemaking
Now comes the fun part.
When I first learned this myself, I was so excited. Women and sex
started to make sense to me. I began to see how I could easily make a
woman feel both arousal and intimacy whenever I wanted to. I could
turn on a womans arousal-volume-knob and intimacy-volume-knob as
much as I wanted. It was just so cool.
Lets look at a couple of examples where were going to use the list
above.
Example 1:
Lets say youre at home making out with your girlfriend. Things starts
to heat up, and you decide to turn her arousal-volume-knob on as
much as you possibly can. You want to turn her into a horny little devil.
How do you do that?
In chapter 4: Sexual Attraction, you learned that you have to lead and
give her your attention to turn her on. This is of course correct - and
you have to do this - but forget about leading and giving attention right
now. Lets instead focus on the feeling of arousal itself.
Arousal is a sexual high energy feeling, and it belongs to masculinity.
Now, here is a very, very important concept, and its probably the most
important thing I have ever learned about sex. This will make sex much
more understandable.
Everything that is masculine is related to every other thing
that is masculine.
The same goes for femininity.
Everything that is feminine is related to every other thing that
is feminine.
So how can you use this to arouse your girlfriend?
Since arousal is part of masculinity, and therefore belongs to the left
side of the list above, you can take your pick from the left side of the
list. Everything that is masculine by nature will strengthen the feeling of
arousal.
Lets say you decide to put on some music. If this is the right move or
not, is totally not important. Its not what you do - its how you do it.
Its what type of music you put on thats important. And Im not talking
about rock or dance music - Im talking about the energy level.
Look at the list above. What type of energy level belongs to
masculinity? High energy level. You put on music with high energy level,
because that will make the room more masculine (more sexual).
What about the volume level? High or low?
Yes, you guessed it. You put on high energy music and you turn the
volume up. The room becomes more masculine/sexual - just what you
wanted.
What else can you do?
Now, without asking, drag you girlfriend forcefully up from her chair,
and then pull her tightly into you.
You are now using masculinity. Force, leading, dominating, taking
and tight are all part of masculinity, and the situation becomes more
sexual, since arousal is part of masculinity too.
Are you with me here?
If you had chosen low energy music, like a ballad, and then stretched
out your hand and asked your girlfriend, in a nice way, if she wanted to
dance with you, then you wouldnt have turned her on. (Side note: You
are leading, and that will always create some sexual attraction, but
youre leading in a feminine way.) The situation would have become
more feminine more intimate.
Thats perfectly fine if that was your intention. You choose what to do
in every situation. You must always make decisions according to what
you want to achieve youre in control. Its up to you if you want to
turn up her arousal-volume-knob or her intimacy-volume-knob.
Lets continue with the example. Lets have some fun with your
girlfriend.
As youre standing there pulling her tightly against you, you decide to
kiss her. As always, its not important if you kiss her or not - its how
you kiss her. Do you kiss her in a feminine way, or a masculine way?
What do you want to achieve?
If you want her to feel more sexual, then you kiss her in a masculine
way. And what is a masculine kiss? Look at the list above. You can be
forceful, aggressive, dirty or maybe all of the above. Just be creative.
What about holding her head firmly between your hands, while licking
her face like a dog I dont know what you like - only you do.
The key factor here is that you change the context of the situation
rather than changing your partners emotions. You are changing her
emotions indirectly. You dont focus on arousal at all - you only change
the context of the situation she is in. This is a very effective way of
changing someones emotions.
For example, if a friend of yours has a bad day, then you can tell him a
funny story, or take him out to see a movie. By changing the situation
he is in, his emotions will change too.
When it comes to women and sex, this strategy is highly effective, since
women are followers in sexual settings - as you have already learned.
This means that they will automatically adapt to the situation they are
in. When you change a womans surroundings, then her emotions will
follow.
This will work every time, as long as you dont change the situation
youre in too fast. If your girlfriend isnt already very aroused, then you
cant do anything very masculine - that would be creepy. Take one little
step at a time. Some women get aroused when you lick their faces, but
it has to be in the right context. A very sexual (masculine) action - like
face licking - demands a very sexual (masculine) setting.
Nothing is unnatural when it comes to sex. Things are only
unnatural if its out of context.
For instance, most women get very turned on by being called a whore
or slut. If everything in the situation is very sexual (masculine), then
using names like whore and slut is alright.
Using words that are out of context feels strange and awkward. For
instance, saying, Suck my cock! would fit a highly sexual situation, but
saying, Suck my penis! would be a weird thing to say. The word
penis is a nice (feminine) name for your private parts, and therefore
out of context.
Women are very sensitive to the situation they are in. Almost
anything goes if its in the right context. Whatever you want
to do, first change the context.
Thats why you put on high energy music, and thats why you start to
behave more assertively and aggressively. You change everything
except her emotions. The result is that her emotions will change too. A
womans emotions will follow whats going on around her. (Women are
followers in a sexual setting, remember.)
When you start to behave in a more masculine way (being assertive,
turning up the energy level, being forceful, being sexual, etc.) then your
partners emotions will adapt to the situation. She will feel more sexual
(sexy, hot, naughty, wild, excited, aroused, etc.) You are turning up her
arousal-level-knob.
What else can you do to turn her on even more?
What about lifting her up, carry her into your bedroom and throw her
onto the bed? What about commanding her to pull down her pants?
What about saying with a loud and aggressive voice, I want to lick your
pussy. Bend over!! Show me what you got!
I think you get the idea. Everything you do is masculine: what you say -
how you say it, what you do - how you do it. Use the list above to guide
you, and expand the list if you want to. Usually its easy to see whats
masculine and whats feminine.
I want you to start thinking of sex as black or white. Everything you do
or feel is either sexual or intimate. In the first chapter of this book I
mentioned that sex is best when its taken to the extreme. You can
choose the one extreme - arousal, or you choose the other extreme -
intimacy. Trying to create both arousal and intimacy at the same time is
like mixing black and white. Both black and white are great, but by
mixing them youll end up with an uninteresting gray bore.
You can of course alternate between arousal an intimacy (and you
should) - but dont try to create both of them at the same time.
By alternating between arousal and intimacy, youll take your partner
on an emotional roller-coaster ride, and shell never know what to
expect. Nothing boring about that
Before we look at another example, let me yet again explain how you
change a womans emotions indirectly. I really want you to get this.
When you are changing a womans emotions by changing the situation
youre in, then you have to follow two rules.
Rule 1:
What you do or say have to be in context to your partners emotions.
For instance, if your partners arousal level is at 20%, then you cant do
anything highly sexual/masculine, such as being very aggressive or
calling her dirty names. That will be out of context, and youll freak her
out.
Rule 2:
You have to be a little out of context.
This seems to go against the first rule, but stay with me here.
If your partners arousal level is at 20%, and the things youre doing are
at 20% or less, then nothing will happen. You have to stay a little ahead
of your partner. When you turn up the masculinity level of the
situation youre in to 30%, then your partners arousal level will
instantly follow.
In other words, you have to stay just a little bit ahead of your partner.
In this way she will change her emotions to adapt to the situation.
And if you havent already guessed it: all of this is unconscious. Your
partner doesnt choose to change her emotions - it just happens.
Example 2:
Youre at work texting your wife. The texts are getting more sexual, and
you feel like telling your wife to put on something sexy for you to come
home to.
You text your wife: I want you to put on something really hot and sexy
for me. Tonight I want you to be my own little sex toy.
This text fits the context you are in. You have already sent each other
some sexual texts, and now youre just taking it a little further - making
the situation even more sexual (masculine).
You wife texts you back: Oh, baby! I can be your little sex toy all night.
What do you want me to wear?
What do you tell her? Do you know anything about clothes?
Well, here is why I love the yin/yang theory - you dont have to know
anything about clothes - just use the list above. You want her to put on
something sexy, and sexy belongs to masculinity. Simply use the left
side of the list above.
Tell her put on something tight, like tight jeans. Tight clothes are sexy
because tight belongs to masculinity. Tell her to pick something black
or red. Black and red are sexy, because black and red belongs to
masculinity. Tell her to put on high heels high belongs to masculinity.
Tell her to put on more makeup than she usually uses, especially dark
colored makeup more and dark belong to masculinity.
Now, without knowing anything about clothes, you can text your wife:
I want you to wear your new tight jeans, your black high heel boots,
and your hot red top. And by the way, dont hold back on the eyeliner -
I expect a whore tonight - not a wife
Okay, now youre probably starting to see why I wanted you to learn
the yin/yang theory. Its perfect for understanding sex. Its of course
not a flawless theory, but its certainly a simple theory. So simple, that
you can use it in the bedroom, or on a date without getting inside your
own head. Soon youll just know what to do and how to do it without
even thinking about it.

Changing Emotions Directly

When you change a womans emotions indirectly, you only focus on
the situation you are in - not the emotions. Now, I want you to only
focus on the emotions - nothing else. You are going to block out
everything, except your emotions.
Did you get that? Your emotions. Not your partners emotions -
only your emotions.
I hope youre not one of those people who think they can change
others. I used to believe I could change other people, and my life was
an everlasting uphill battle - especially with women. If you dont already
know it, then let me tell you: you can never change other people - not
even their emotions.
When youre changing a womans emotions directly, youre not really
changing her emotions - its just a figure of speech. You are
changing your emotions, and she can choose to follow - if she wants to.
Let me explain.
Recall the last time you listened to a nervous speaker. Do you
remember what you felt yourself? When I watch someone nervous, I
get nervous too.
Do you have a person in your life whos always negative? (Maybe your
mother or mother in law). Do you get negative yourself when youre
with that person?
Have you noticed how some people just seem to light up the room
when they enter. They make everyone feel good.
For some strange reason we tend to copy other peoples feelings. It
makes no sense to me why we do this, but it happens all the time. It
happens in an instance, and its totally subconscious.
As I have told you time and time again: women are followers in sexual
settings. This means that you can change your own emotions, and your
partner will change her emotions too. This is what I mean by changing a
womans emotions directly.
You change what you feel, and your partners feelings will
follow.
The great thing about this is that you can change your own emotions at
any time. You cant change others, but youre in full control over
yourself.
In other words, if you want your partner to feel arousal, then create
that feeling in yourself. If you want her to feel love and intimacy, then
create the feelings of love and intimacy inside yourself.
If you havent tried this with anyone before, then youre in for a
surprise - its very powerful.
Example 1:
You bring your date home with you for the first time. Shes a shy girl,
and you can feel how shes holding back as you start making out. Its
like shes holding both her breath and emotions inside herself. You
want her to let go, and let herself get in the mood.
This situation is perfect for changing her emotions directly. You have
been leading the whole way, and you have done everything to change
the situation youre in to a more sexual one. Its doesnt seem to work,
because she has problems letting go of her arousal - shes suppressing
it.
Here, you simply do what you want her to do. You want her to let go of
her breath and her arousal, therefore you start to breathe deeper
yourself, and you let yourself get more aroused. When you do this -
gradually - your date will very likely follow both your deep breathing
and your arousal level.
Again, women hate everything thats out of context. If she chooses not
to follow your arousal level, then she is the one whos out of context.
She and her emotions are the odd ones out. This will be uncomfortable
for her, and therefore she will rather follow your emotions. (This is of
course not a rational choice - its an automatic response.)
You can be certain that your date desperately wants to let go of her
suppressed emotions. She will be thankful that you are the one brave
enough to take the first step and let go of your own emotions first.
She will be more than happy to follow your lead.
Changing a womans emotions directly (and indirectly) is in a sense
nothing other than leading. You are leading her emotions.
Again, you see the importance of leaning. Leading is EVERYTHING when
it comes to seduction and sex.
Example 2:
Lets go the other way. Now were going to turn up your partners
intimacy level. She will definitely follow your feelings, since intimacy is
one of those feelings women never seem to get enough of.
The best (and easiest) time to create a lot in intimacy is right after sex.
After sex and especially right after orgasm, the arousal level will drop
down to zero. Suddenly all the masculinity is gone and only femininity is
left. The energy level is low, everything you do is in slow motion, and
when you talk its more like whispering.
As you have learned, you can boost her intimacy level indirectly. For
instance, whisper something intimate right into her ear. Be soft
(feminine), and use nice (feminine) words.
Here are some examples:
Baby, I love you so much...
Thank you for taking care of me. Youre so good to me....
I feel so close to you right now...
Remember that you have to whisper these sentences, or else it will
seem incongruent and fake. (Out of context).
Now, lets try to create intimacy without even saying a word. Lets turn
up your girlfriends intimacy level directly, by creating the feeling of
intimacy inside of you. To do this you have to get in contact with what
youre feeling. Grab hold of the feelings of love and intimacy you feel
for your partner, and then indulge in them. Dont hold it back.
Strengthen your feelings by focusing on them.
If this is new for you, then try this:
When youre in bed with your partner, then try to make yourself cry I
know youre a guy, and this may be uncomfortable, but at least test it
out. If you want good relationships with women, then you have to
come in contact with your emotions - all of them.
Try and make yourself cry, while you simultaneously say the following
to yourself: I cant believe how much I love my girl. She is so wonderful
to me. She loves me so much. She is willing to please me in every way. I
feel so close to her... If you get teary-eyed, then thats great. Let your
partner see how much you love her. Thats the whole point of changing
your partners emotions directly. If you cant feel it, then she cant feel
it.
Its important that you keep eye contact when you do this. You have
to communicate when you transfer your feelings to your partner.
I believe this direct transference of love and intimacy is what women
want more than anything from a man. Forget about arousal, multiple
orgasms, female ejaculation and all that other fun stuff. When you
have the power to make a woman feel a deep sense of love, closeness
and intimacy - just by looking at her - then youll shake her to the
core. Its the most satisfying thing you can do for a woman.
Changing a womans emotions directly is easy. And its damn effective.
Its like you have one hand on your partners arousal-level-knob, and
your other hand on her intimacy-level-knob. Turning her on and making
her feel love and intimacy at an instance notice.
But
Yes, there is a but two in fact.
To do this, you have to have two important skills. Two skills that a lot of
guys struggle with. Those two skills are honesty and presence.
We have already talked about honesty in chapter 3, and well look
closer at presence in chapter 9. But let me quickly explain why these
two skills are essential when it comes to changing your partners
emotions.
Lets say youre making love to your girlfriend, and the predominant
feeling youre feeling is intimacy. If youre not honest or in contact with
your own feelings, then you simply dont know that the feeling youre
feeling is intimacy.
If you dont know that youre feeling love and intimacy, then how can
you turn up your own intimacy-volume-knob? Because thats what you
got to do. You cant change your partners intimacy level - you can only
change your own. Its your own intimacy-volume-knob youre turning -
not your partners.
Having a high level of presence is also essential. Without a high level of
presence, you are stuck in your own head, and you cant create
emotional connection. Since the emotional connection between you
and your partner is the link between your feelings and her feeling, you
need this connection to transfer your feelings to your partner.
If you dont have these two vital skills, then learn them. I wasnt in
contact with my own emotions, and I was stuck in my own head all the
time, but I realized that I had to change.
If I could change myself, so can you
Everything can be learned. You just have to make a decision to start.
When you first start, youll be surprised to see how much fun it is. In my
opinion, there is nothing that beats satisfying a woman in the
bedroom
and what shell do in return is priceless
 Chapter 8: Fucking and Lovemaking

Fucking
Definition of fucking:
Fucking is sex with relatively more masculinity and sexual tension, and
relatively less femininity and emotional connection.
This can be done in two ways. Either you can build a lot of sexual
tension, or you can downplay emotional connection.
If you stop communicating with your partner during sex, you will
relatively get more sexual tension. This is possible to do in a long term
relationship, since you already have love and intimacy accumulated.
If you like to have wild and dirty sex (fucking), then you have to build up
love and intimacy through a relationship. With a relationship I don't
necessarily mean a traditional monogamous relationship, since any kind
of relationship will do, as long as you have love, intimacy and trust.
(More on creating trust in chapter 9).
Let's look at some fucking examples...!
Example 1:
After eating breakfast together with your wife, you realize that youre
uncomfortably horny. You have no more than 3 minutes to spare
before you have to get to work.
You look at your wife as she is a piece of meat ready to be used for your
satisfaction, and she knows instantly what youre thinking and feeling.
Aggressively, you bend your wife over the kitchen table, pull down her
panties and use her body to relieve yourself. After youre done, youve
no time to connect with your wife, and as you walk out the front door
you say half-jokingly, "Clean yourself! You look like a mess."
In this example theres relatively more sexual tension than emotional
connection. It's not that theres much sexual tension - 3 minutes is not
enough time to build a lot of arousal - but theres almost no emotional
connection, and thats what makes it very sexual.
You treat you wife like shes a piece of meat (an object), and both of
you will be turned on rather quickly. The fact that you don't even care
about her satisfaction will make her even more turned on, since shell
feel more like an object.
This kind of sex is only possible in a loving relationship, where your
partner knows for sure that you love and respect her. You already have
a deep emotional connection.
Example 2:
You're having a one-night stand with a girl you met in a club. Youre
trying out different sexual positions, and as soon as you take her doggy-
style, you notice that shes getting more excited.
Since you love to please women, you continue to take her from behind,
but to your surprise she suddenly starts to lose her arousal. You start
spanking her, knowing that this will make her feel more like an object,
thus turning her on again.
This doesnt seem to work, and soon she wants you to stop all together.
What is going on here?
When you start taking this girl from behind, you stop communicating
(no eye contact, no kissing). This increases the sexual tension compared
to the emotional connection, and she gets more aroused.
Since this is a one-night stand, and you don't have a relationship build
on love, respect and intimacy, shell soon feel uncomfortable with all
the sexual tension. When you try to get her even more turn on by
spanking her, it's just too much sexual feelings compared to love and
intimacy.
Get it?
You have to start communicating again to build more love and
intimacy. Pleasing her body isn't enough. She (her consciousness) needs
attention too. Sexual feelings have to be rooted in love and intimacy.
Lets look at a final fucking example. This time we wont hold back.
Well amp it up as much as we can, building arousal through the roof.
Now you want your partner to orgasm like her life depended on it.
This example may seem extreme to you, or even sick, depending on
what youre used to. As always, the point here is that I want you to
learn the theory of sex. It's impossible for me to know what you like
sexually
Example 3:
You take one of your girlfriends out to a nice romantic restaurant. Even
though you love each other and enjoy each others company, none of
you want at committed relationship.
While youre enjoying the tasty food, youre listening to your girlfriend
talking about the things she has been up to since you saw her last. After
the dinner you decide to go see a scary movie.
This dinner/movie date may seem unrelated to sex, but it's not. One of
the most important things you have to do to create both sexual
attraction and emotional connection is to TAKE YOUR TIME. If you like
to satisfy your partner sexually, then you have to build up feelings
slowly.
It's difficult to do things TOO slow, so take your time - the reward will
be worth it.
The romantic dinner fills your girlfriend with feelings and emotions, and
she becomes more feminine. You listening to her talk about herself will
also make her more feminine. Watching the scary movie fills her with
fear, which makes her even more feminine.
Her feminine side will be a contrast to your masculinity (leading and
giving her attention). This makes her attracted to you.
During the date you also want to focus on building love and intimacy,
even though you already have this in the relationship. You take your
time building a strong connection between you and your girlfriend
through eye contact, talking, kissing and holding hands.
After the movie, you invite her back to your apartment. Now that shes
filled with femininity, you can be certain she wants sex. You have had
sex many times before, so she trusts you to do almost anything you like
to her, even though you can be both brutal and sick when it comes to
sex.
It doesnt really matter to her, since shes as sick as you. (Many women
are quite extreme when it comes to sex)
You tell your girlfriend to get undressed, and to lie face down on the
floor. You get your bondage rope and tie her arms tightly behind her
back. Then you tie her ankles to her thighs.
You take your time tying her, making her look beautiful. This will of
course make her feel even more like an object, and more turned on.
After shes restrained, you start to beat her with a flogger. You make
sure that her buttocks and upper back become nice and red. The stress
from the bondage and the pain from the flogging fill your partner with
feelings and emotions, thus making her more feminine and more
aroused.
Side note: I know Im repeating myself over and over. I do this
deliberately for you to understand how important this is. When it comes
to sex, you only have to learn a few simple principles, and use them over
and over again in various ways.
You can hear your girlfriends heavy breathing, which is a clear sign that
shes highly aroused. (This heavy breathing may come from stress and
pain, and not from arousal, but in practice theres no difference. Stress,
pain and arousal are just different types of feelings.)
Now, you put a vibrator between her legs. Within 30 seconds, all the
feelings and emotions youve built up during the evening are released
in a body shaking orgasm.
You give your girlfriend some time to come to her senses, and then,
while shes still in bondage, you start to fuck her mouth. Since you
know each other well, she trusts you to stop immediately if she wants
to, even though she has your cock in her mouth and cant speak.
Right now she definitely doesnt want to stop you. It pleases her and
arouses her immensely that you use her body to satisfy yourself. The
fact that she can take your cock all the way down her throat, even
though it's difficult, makes her feel both proud and powerful.
She accepts that you own her body, and she enjoys being yours. (This is
of course an illusion. Shes in full control over herself. That's what
makes her feel powerful.)
As you continue to deepthroat your girlfriend, you lean forward and put
the vibrator between her legs once more. You can feel her orgasm
going through her body, while she struggles not to throw up on your
cock.
You continue the deepthroating, but now harder and deeper than
before, until she cant take it anymore, and she throws up all over your
cock.
You check in on her just to be sure shes okay, then you continue
fucking her throat...
This last example isnt different from the two previous ones. Youre
doing just two different things at the basic level - building arousal and
building intimacy. The only difference is how much time you take to
build arousal and intimacy.
As a general rule: more patience equals more feelings of arousal and
intimacy.
You can build up feelings and emotions in an endless different ways.
For example with a romantic dinner, a movie, a massage, making out,
spanking, bondage, tickling, humor, humiliation or whatever YOU like.
Do what YOU like to do. Women are so diverse when it comes to sex -
anything goes for most women, as long as YOU are comfortable with it.
Now lets look at what I personally think is even better than fucking.

Lovemaking
Its my belief that theres only one thing women like more than fucking
- and thats lovemaking.
It's easy for us guys to think that if we just make a woman orgasm in
bed, then shell be satisfied. But for women, feelings of love and
closeness are even more powerful than arousal and orgasms.
If you make a woman feel more love and connectedness than she has
ever felt before, then shell come back to you time and time again.
Women never get tired of love.
You have probably already guessed my definition of lovemaking, but
here it is anyway.
Definition of lovemaking:
Lovemaking is sex with relatively more femininity and emotional
connection, and relatively less masculinity and sexual tension.
Its called lovemaking for a reason - you make love. That is, you create
love and intimacy between you and your partner. You don't use your
masculinity that much when you make love compared to when you
fuck.
You still have to lead and create arousal, but not that much. Instead
you use your feminine side more. You become caring and sensitive, and
you let go of your masculine sense of purpose and direction (the active
part of masculinity).
The only part of your masculine side youre using when you make love
is your presence (your consciousness). Remember that love is the
connection between your consciousness and your partners
consciousness - or emotional connection if you will.
Your presence is the non-doing (passive) part of your masculinity. It's
the part you use to give your partner attention.
When you fuck you use this passive part of your masculinity to give
attention to your partners BODY, but when you make love you give
more attention to your partners CONSCIOUSNESS.
You don't care that much about her body right now, you care about
HER.
The focus should be on two-way communication. By talking (mostly
heavy breathing and moaning), kissing, holding hands and eye contact,
both of you will feel more love and intimacy.
When you fuck youre more goal-oriented, but when you make love
you don't want to achieve anything. Not even orgasms are important
when you make love.
Everything is more floating and circular, and the separation between
you and your partner begins to disappear. It feels like no one is leading
and no one is being led - you both move in synchronicity.
Build love and intimacy with talking, eye contact, kissing and by holding
hands. Then add more or less sexual tension.
Be more feminine than masculine. Go slow, be soft, sensitive, caring
and loving. Dont use any dirty words like you do while fucking. It better
to say things like, I feel so close to you right now or I love you so
much. Say it with a soft voice. Whisper it into your partners ear.
Make sure you take your time when you make love. Theres nothing
you and your partner shall achieve. Lovemaking is not a means to an
end - it's just a manifestation of love.
Don't hold back on your emotions when you make love. This is not the
time to be "manly" and tough. If it gets so emotional that you start to
tear up, then let your partner see it - she will be delighted. Open your
heart, and let your partner know how much you love her, then shell
open her heart as well.
The focus should be on love itself, not on what you do. Even if you only
lie beside each other in bed, and gently kiss and care for each other, its
lovemaking. As long as you both feel love, closeness and intimacy, you
are making love.

Fucking vs. Lovemaking

Even though fucking and lovemaking are two very different acts, theres
an interesting connection between them.
The more sexual attraction youre creating and the wilder the sex
(fucking), the stronger the emotional connection and the feeling of
love and intimacy.
This seems like a paradox since sexual feelings are the complete
opposite of loving feelings. In reality they are closely connected to each
other.
If you like to feel deep love and intimacy with a woman, then being
very sexual together (fucking) is a necessity. Extreme sexual tension
rapidly turns into extreme emotional connection.
Im sure youve felt this yourself right after sex. You suddenly feel love
and closeness right after you orgasm. Arousal and intimacy are in this
way mutually connected. You can't have the one without the other.
Guys who dont know how to pick-up women, often dont get this
connection between sexual feelings and intimate feelings. They try to
seduce women by creating a strong emotional connection without any
sexual tension. (I have been there myself...)
The result is that they can't build intimacy at all, even if that's all
theyre trying to do. You cant build much intimacy with a woman
without also building arousal. These guys are acting more like women,
and at best they end up being a womans (girl)friend.
More often than not, women are creeped out by this kind of behavior
from men. Its creepy for a woman when a man is being loving and
cuddly without creating any sexual attraction.
Side note: Its nothing wrong with being cuddly with a woman. I love
that myself its one of my favorite things I do with women. But I only
do that with women whos sexually attracted to me or else I would be
a creep.
Speaking of girlfriends... Have you noticed how intimate girls can be
with each other? Well, of course you have...
This type of love and intimacy has a limit, since there usually isn't that
much sexual attraction between women. Even when two heterosexual
girlfriends end up having sex (not that uncommon by the way), the
intimacy is weaker than it is between men and women.
This is because two women usually dont have rough sex. They tend to
make love rather than fuck. When a man and a woman have sex
however, its usually much more sexual, thus the relationship ends up
being more intimate.
Just as sexual feelings are essential for creating intimacy - intimacy is
essential for creating sexual feelings.
For instance, if you like rough sex, then you have to first build love and
intimacy. When youve sex with someone for the first time, you cant
really be that sexual.
This is the reason I dont like one-night stands. You cant be either very
sexual or very intimate when having a one-night stand.
Because of the close connection between arousal and intimacy, you
cant either fuck or make love the first time youre in bed with a new
sexual partner.
The second, third and fourth time youre in bed together, everything
starts getting much better. Now, both of you can really get in to it.
If you want to, you can make sweet tender love, because youve
already been very sexual together. And you can have crazy dirty animal
sex, because youve built up love and intimacy in the relationship.

The more sexual you are with a woman, the more

potential for deep love. And the more love, the more
potential for sexual feelings.
In this way, lovemaking and fucking go hand in hand.
They are the Yin and Yang of sex.
 Chapter 9

How to Lead a Woman, Part 2 - How to Deal

with Rejection

In this part of how to lead a woman, were going more into details.
Especially step 3 of leading.
Step 1 and step 2 are pretty straight forward. They are about what you
like to do. Step 3 is no longer about you - its about your partner.
Step 3 is also quite simple - you just register your partners response.
This response is either yes or no. The woman youre leading is either
accepting or rejecting your lead.
However, when it comes to women and sex, theres also a third type of
response mixed signals. A mixed signal is when a woman says yes
and no at the same time.
Knowing what to do when you get mixed signals is crucial when
dealing with a woman.

Mixed Signals
Theres probably nothing more irritating for us guys than mixed signals.
(Especially if you dont understand the point of mixed signals). Its not
in our nature to understand yes and no at the same time. It isnt
logical.
To keep your partner from driving you insane, you better learn what
mixed signals mean. It is some logic to it after all...
First, you have to understand that mixed signals are very common.
Second, it means different things at different times. Third, its not that
difficult to deal with.
Lets get to it

3 reasons for mixed signals

1. Your partner is testing you
2. Your partner wants to create sexual tension
3. Your partner feels fear (You havent created enough trust)
The last one is by far the most common, but well begin with the two
others.
1. Your partner is testing you
This usually happens in the beginning of a relationship, especially from
the moment you first meet until you have sex for the first time.
Heres an example.
You start talking to a woman in a bar. You get along fine, and you
decide to take her to a quieter part of the bar. You say, Lets go over to
the lounge, its quieter there. She smiles confidently and answers, So
you want to separate me from my friends. What are you up to?
This is mixed signals. Her smile says yes and her words say no.
This is a typical test. She is testing if you are a 'man', or if you are a
'boy'. If you are a man, you will not react to her test at all. If you are a
boy however, you will probably react with emotions, like irritation or
disappointment.
To be more precise: she is testing your BELIEFS.
Your response to her test will give her the answer right away. If one of
your beliefs is: women have the right to make their own choices, then
you wont react negatively to her test. You accept that she has the right
to say and do anything she wants.
An adult person will always respect other peoples boundaries. If youre
a boy trapped inside an adult body however, then you wont accept
rejection.
Remember, you are not controlling women, you are leading women.
Its her choice whether she want to follow your lead. You have no right
to react negatively no matter what she chooses to do.
In addition to not reacting with emotions, what do you do when a
woman is testing you? Do you take it as a yes, and lead in the same
direction, or do you take it as a no, and lead in another direction?
The answer... (and its always the same answer):
You always take mixed signals as a yes, and keep on leading in the
same direction. ALWAYS!
Don't ever forget this, it's crucial. Always keep on going.
Depending on the situation, you might want to give her some time
before you keep on leading, or you may just go on with it.
Let's continue with the example.
If the woman in the bar wasnt sexually attracted to you, she wouldn't
have sent you mixed signals. This means, she just needs to test you a,
to make sure you are the man she hopes you are.
All of this is unconscious of course. This testing mechanism is
genetically hard-wired in women to protect them from having sex with
the wrong man (a man who doesnt have the skills to be a good
hunter/protector.)
If you want to pass every test women throw at you, then simply ignore
them - that will always work. The whole point of a test is to provoke an
emotional response. If you don't react with emotions, you have passed
the test.
It doesnt matter what you say or do, just hold your ground and keep
on leading. Dont start to think and try to come back with a smart or
witty response. Keep it simple.
Of course, if youre a funny guy, then you can response with something
witty, as long as this response comes without any hesitation.
I'm not that funny, so I usually just say the same thing twice. That
usually works like a charm.
You might repeat what you said, Let's go to the lounge, its quiet
there. You reach out your hand (step 1 and 2), inviting her to take it,
then if she accepts (step 3), you both go to the lounge.
She might still not be convinced that you are the man she hopes you
are, so she starts to test you some more. Thats okay, since you dont
control her - you lead her.
2. Your partner wants to create sexual tension
This is the fun part of mixed signals. Its one of the main techniques
women use to make a situation more sexual.
When your partner is horny and wants sex, its likely she will use mixed
signals to create sexual tension. As you know, women dont like to take
charge and lead, even when theyre turned on. Instead they use mixed
signals to turn the situation more sexual.
Heres a typical example.
Your partner may be a little turned on, but she wants you to turn her
on even more. She will say no to everything you say, but she does it
with a smile (mixed signals).
The signals shes sending is: Keep on leading, dont stop. Im almost
there... If she really wanted you to stop, she wouldnt be smiling.
Lets go into the mechanics here. Its important that you understand
whats going on in these kinds of situations.
Women try to create sexual tension all the time, but guys dont pick up
the subtle signals. (Or to me more precise: guys dont pick up on the
mixed signals.)
By the way, if you havent guessed it, what were talking about here is
flirting. This kind of mixed signals is nothing other than good old
fashioned flirting (or teasing).
Heres how it usually goes
1.
The woman is turned on and wants things to happen She creates
some kind of tension.

a) She says no to your lead and smiles. (Mixed signals.)

Example: The woman from the bar (previous example) is testing and
flirting at the same time.

b) She does something naughty - and smiles. (Mixed signals.)

Example: Out of the blue, your wife spanks you ass.
2.
She wants you to turn up the tension by acting more masculine.

a) You lead more assertively, and behave more sexual.

Example: Yes, I want to separate you from your friends, and then Im
going to do bad things to you.
b) You punish the woman (or threaten to punish her).
Example: After your wife spanks your ass, you say with a very assertive
(but also playful) tone of voice, Are you going to be a good little girl?
Or do I need to punish you?
3.
She breaks the tension by...

a) ...laughing.
Example: The girl from the bar laughs at your joke.

b) ...complying.
Example: Your ass spanking wife looks at you with big Bambi eyes, and
answers in a fake apologetic submissive voice, Im going to a good
little girl I promise
4.
Shes more turned on by your dominance (just what she wanted in the
first place), and she starts the cycle again by creating even more
tension.

a) She teases you once more (she tests you again).

Example: The girl from the bar says, "Really... Maybe I'm the one who's
going to do bad things to you..."

b) She does something naughty once more.

Example: Your wife breaks her promise, and spanks your ass once
again
Do you see whats going on here?
This is a very common playful (and sexual) interaction between men
and women, both during seduction and foreplay.
It really frustrates women that a lot of guys dont get this type of
interaction. For women, this is obvious and natural.
Guys who are rational by nature (nerds, geeks, me) take what women
say literally. They dont see the playful and sexual sub-communication.
I used to think that women werent that sexual, just because I didnt
understand this type of communication. Now, I see that women often
start the sexual communication by sending mixed signals.
When a woman wants sex, she cant take the lead, because its not in
her nature. Instead she forces the man to lead by acting difficult.
Sexual tension is called sexual tension for a reason. When a woman
acts difficult (being naughty, saying no (while smiling), making fun of
you, teasing you, etc.) she creates friction or tension between you and
her.
In a non-sexual situation (between friends), this type of tension creates
a stronger friendship. Between men and women, this kind of tension
usually turns into sexual tension.
Tension and sexual tension are so intertwined that I dont think of
them as two different things. When you create tension between you
and a woman, its usually always sexual tension. (As long as the woman
isnt a friend, a coworker, or a family member.)
Side note: Any type of tension can turn sexual, as long as it isnt any
negative emotions involved. The tension doesnt necessarily have to be
playful, but there cant be any feelings of frustration, anger or
contempt.
Not long ago, I was lying in bed working on my laptop, when my girl
suddenly bit my shoulder (I mean really, really hardscreaming-out-
loud hard). Then she jumped out of bed, ran to a corner of my
bedroom, and curled up in a fetal position on the floor, while she was
giggling like a little schoolgirl.
She knew me well She knew I would come after her and bite her twice
as hard back. And thats exactly what she wanted. She was bored and
horny, and she wanted me to stop working on my laptop and have sex
with her instead.
And guess what? Her tactic worked
Side note: I said that this girl knew me well. In fact, this shoulder biting
incidence happened the first night we spent together. Id met her in a
bar a couples of hours earlier.
She - her female nature - knew me well.
These kind of playful (and occasionally painful) interactions between
men and women are hard-wired. Its natural for woman to behave this
way and it should be natural for you too
Be aware when you get resistance or rejection from a woman. Is the
resistance or rejection combined with a smile or laughter?
If it is, then its a mixed signal.
This means that shes sexually attracted to you, and she wants you to
lead. The more naughty, bad or difficult she is, the more she
wants you to be dominant (masculine).
Make sure you do your part be dominant. Then youll see something
interesting happens: shell start to act submissive. This is a natural way
for men and women to behave in a sexual setting.
Lets recap once more. Ill make it really simple this time:
The woman acts dominant (to provoke an even more dominant
reaction from the man.)
The man (thats you) reclaims his dominant position by acting and
behaving more dominant and masculine than the woman.
The woman submits to the mans dominance.
The extreme polarity between the feminine (the submissive woman)
and the masculine (the dominant man) creates sexual feelings in both
the man and the women also known as arousal.
The man and the woman cant help themselves, and jump into bed 9
months later theyre in serious trouble
And by the way, you dont have to wait for your partner to provoke a
dominant reaction. You can start the seduction/foreplay yourself by
behaving dominant.
In other words, dont wait until your partner sends you mixed signals. If
youre horny and want sex, just start to create playful tension between
you and your partner
3. Your partner feels fear (She doesnt trust you enough)
Fear is the most common reason for mixed signals. This is often
manifested as a nervous smile or nervous laughter.
Knowing how to deal with your partners fears is crucial. The remedy
for fear is TRUST. If you dont know how to create trust, then forget
about sex. You wouldn't even get a woman home with you.

How to Create Trust

When you meet a woman for the first time, or when you have sex for
the first time, theres one question on her mind that stands out.
Can I trust this man?
For women, trust is everything. Without trust, sexual attraction and
emotional connection are worthless. A woman will put herself in great
danger, physically and emotionally, if she has sex with a man she
doesnt trust.
If youre in a long term relationship, trust is still important. In fact, its
essential for a good sex life.
Trust is the degree a person expects the other person to behave. Trust
is never 0% or 100%, its in between. If youre in a relationship with
almost 100% trust, then your partner will let you do almost anything
you want.
She trusts you to take care of her, and she knows you won't harm her in
any way. She doesnt even have to know the things youre planning to
do with her, since youve already proven yourself to be trustworthy.
She allows herself to let go of her own body. Her body is yours, and it
will be yours for as long as she feels she can trust you.
When youre in a relationship with this kind of trust, it feels liberating
both for you and your partner.
How do you create trust?
Trust is something you have to earn. You cant demand trust any more
than you can demand a woman to feel attraction towards you. It
doesnt necessarily take a long time to build almost 100% trust, but you
definitely have to earn it.
And how do you earn or build trust?
Its very simple. You take no for an answer every time. No means no.
Side note: I know this goes against what I have been preaching about
mixed signals. As always, you have to lead in the same direction when
you get mixed signals. In other words, no doesnt always mean stop.
This will be fully explained in chapter 11: How to Lead a Woman, part 3.
For now, lets make it simple and pretend that no means no every time.
Women make their own choices. You can't get everything you want,
anytime you want it. Youre an adult - just deal with it.
It's not your right to criticize other peoples choices. You just have to
lead in another direction.

Every time you take no for an answer, you

create trust.
Think about this for a second. Every time a woman says no to you, you
create trust. This means that getting 'no' from a woman is a good thing,
since you can prove yourself as trustworthy.
Here are two golden rules when it comes to building trust:
1. Dont ever start arguing when your partner says no. NOT EVER!!
Dont say, But you liked it the last time we tried. Or If you do it, Im
sure youll like it. Or Why dont you just try!!?
Sex has nothing to do with reason, and she probably doesnt even
know why she doesnt want to do it. Sex is about feelings, and right
now she doesn't feel like doing it. She doesn't have to justify herself to
you shes not your child.
2. Dont ever react with emotions when your partner says no. NOT
EVER!!
Dont get irritated, frustrated or disappointed. If you love women, and
respect other people's choices, this will never happen anyway.
Side note: You can't choose not to get emotional, but you can choose to
change yourself. If you get irritated, frustrated or disappointed when a
woman says 'no', then try to find the reason for your emotional
reaction.
The reason you feel irritation or disappointment comes from you, not
your partner.
(Hint: Check your beliefs they are always the reason you react with
emotions.)
There are much better ways to convince your partner to do exactly
what you want. (Stay tuned for How to Lead a Woman, part 3.)
I mentioned earlier in this book that trust has two aspects to it, a
physical and an emotional. What I have explained above has to do with
building physical trust.
When it comes to emotional trust, its so simple that I wont use more
than two words to explain it.
Here it is:
Dont lie.
If youre a liar, then God help you because I certainly cant

Commanding, Asking and Dominating

Before we move on to the most important chapter in this book, I would
like to explain the difference between 'commanding' your partner, and
'asking' your partner.
Look at these two sentences:
"Do you want to join me for dinner tonight?" And "Join me for dinner
tonight!"
These two sentences are both questions not commands. It doesnt
matter that the second sentence ends with an exclamation point. As
long as you wait for your partner to respond to your suggestion, its a
question.
It's nothing wrong with asking women questions, especially yes or no
questions. But when it comes to sex, women don't like to get questions
at all.
They want to be told what to do, or just taken by their partners. They
like to be commanded.
But what exactly is a command?
With a command you don't wait for your partners response - you just
do it. This sounds strange, since you have to respect your partners
choice. If you don't, youre controlling her, not leading her.
Let me straighten out the confusion for you.
When you have sex you don't have time to wait for your partners
response. It would take too long for your partner to respond to every
little thing you do.
Lets say youre kissing your partner all over her body. You can't stop
for every kiss you make, to check if this is acceptable for her or not. And
as I mentioned earlier, a woman don't like to be asked, she want you to
please yourself by using her body in any manner you like.
So what do you do? How do you command or use your girlfriend's body
without controlling her?
You just have to keep on doing whatever you feel like until your partner
gives you a sign to stop. She doesnt have to give you permission for
everything you do. She only has to say no, when you do something
that is unacceptable for her.
Did you get that?

Do whatever you like, until your partner tells you

otherwise.
This is crucial when it comes to leading, so let me tell you again:
DO WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DO, UNTIL YOUR PARTNER STOPS YOU.
DON'T WAIT AND LOOK FOR YOUR PARTNERS ACCEPTANCE.
BE A MAN AND TRUST YOUR OWN DECISIONS. THATS WHAT A
WOMAN WANT FROM A MAN.
This should be good news for you, since this means that you can do
anything you want with a woman, anytime you want to, as long as you
stop when she wants you to stop.
When Im with a woman, I see her body as my toy. I can play with it any
way I want to.
Isn't that what you always wanted? Do whatever you want with a
woman...
I'm telling you that this is exactly what you have to do to please a
woman in bed. DO WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DO. JUST FUCKING DO
IT!!
I telling you that you have to use a womans body in any way you wish
to please her.
To please a woman you have to please yourself.
Don't do what I used to do. Don't check in with your partner if the
things youre doing are okay or not. It isnt necessary. Shell tell you as
soon as she feels uncomfortable.
Stopping to see if what youre doing is okay with your partner is one of
those things that really frustrate women. They just want to be taken.
They want to be the object of your desires.
You don't ask an object for permission, do you? When you masturbate
you don't ask your penis for permission
A womans body is an object. That object is of course connected to her
consciousness, the real her.
It's her body you sexually desire, and it's her consciousness you love
and respect.
Get that?
Don't think that a womans body is who she is. She is her
consciousness, not her ever-changing body. You love and respect her
consciousness, and you lust for her body.
For instance, if your partner is angry or sad, you still love and respect
her, since emotions are "just" ever-changing objects. If your partner
gains a few pounds, you still love and respect her, since her body isnt
who she really is. Maybe you don't lust for her body as much anymore,
but you still love her.
Let's go back to 'commanding' and 'trust'...
When I meet a new sexual partner, I want her to know two things
about me.
First, I want her to know that I always take "control" (command) in any
situation. This makes her relaxed, since she never has to come up with
things to do.
She can follow my lead and let herself be a part of my reality. Whatever
happens, she knows Ill take full responsibility and solve the problem.
Second, I want her to know that Ill always stop when she wants me to.
No negative emotions - no questions asked. Ill just do something else.
This also makes her relaxed, since she got nothing to fear. She will
never feel any pressure to anything she doesnt want to do.
The result is that shell let me do almost anything, even when I do
something thats new to her.
Theres no need for her to stop me long before I do something she
might not like. She would rather try it, because she trusts me to be in
full control over the situation, and she trusts me to stop immediately
when she wants me to.
How does my new sexual partner know that I always take charge in any
situation, and that I always take no for an answer?
Do I tell her?
Absolutely not. It's too easy to lie. I have to show her.
And how do I show her?
I lead. (Duh!)
From the first moment we meet Ill make all the decisions. And when
she rejects my lead, I do something else. Soon her fears will melt away,
and she can relax and enjoy my company.
The fact that I make all the decisions, and my partner makes no
decisions, is of course an illusion. Every time my partner doesnt stop
me, it's a choice she makes. She is 100% responsible for herself.
Women like this illusion, because they will feel more like an object.
They will feel more feminine, and this will lead to arousal.
I know I repeat myself a lot, but this has to sink in. YOU HAVE TO
OBJECTIFY A WOMANS BODY!!
Yes, that's right. I'm not trying to be controversial here. Its nothing
controversial about this. You have to objectify a women body simply
because a body is an object.
This may seem like something negative, but it isn't. In our society (the
western world) we have this notion that the body is inferior to the mind
or the soul (consciousness). This is of course non-sense.
I find it quite interesting that most modern enlightened people still
consider the flesh as something negative or evil, while the spirit is
something good or holy.
Few people have any problems objectifying a beautiful flower, but so
many will not objectify a beautiful female body.
The reason for this probably has to do with a simple misunderstanding:
You don't objectify a woman (her consciousness/mind/soul), you
objectify her body. It's impossible to objectify a consciousness. How
could you it's not an object.
This may seem like philosophy and just theoretical, but stay with me
here.
You have to understand that a woman (and a man) consists of two very
different parts, her consciousness and her body. Giving attention to her
consciousness (the real her) creates love and intimacy. Giving attention
to her body (and thoughts, feelings, life history, dreams etc.) creates
sexual attraction.
If youre still under the grip of social conditioning, you may feel shame
when you look at a beautiful woman, and you will look away before she
"catches" you.
This is just sad - both for you and for the woman. Why don't you
instead do what women want you to do? Look and enjoy. Celebrate and
enjoy the beauty of women. That is what we are supposed to do - it's in
our male nature.
And Ill say it once again, so you don't forget it:
Remember that you also have to connect with a womans
consciousness, not only her body. As you should know by now,
objectifying a womans body creates sexual attraction only. You have to
create emotional connection as well
if not, youre just "creepy".
Before we move on to the core chapter in this book, I want you to learn
what 'domination' means. You have probably heard it in connection to
'submission', and maybe also in connection to BDSM.
Domination or to dominate someone is nothing other than
commanding/leading. It's the opposite of controlling. It has nothing to
do with control or abuse. If you don't respect your partner, youre not a
"dom" - you're a fucking asshole...
...don't be a fucking asshole
Lets recap:
Leading, commanding and dominating are the same things. You do
what you feel like doing without asking anyone for permission, not
even your partner. You only stop and do something else if your partner
tells you to. This will create trust.
Asking is also leading, but now you wait for your partners response.
Don't ask too many questions in the bedroom, it's not necessary. Do
whatever you feel like, and take it for granted that your partner will
follow your lead.
If she doesnt, it's no big deal. There are a million different things you
can do in bed. Be creative and follow your true feelings. They will tell
you what to do---
 Chapter 10

Self-Development - The Only Way to Great Sex

If your sex life doesnt change for the better after reading this book,
then read this chapter again.
Everything we do, every choice and every action we make are
manifestations of our beliefs, our knowledge and our ability to be
present.
Its easy to get obsessed with what to do. A better strategy is to be
obsessed with our beliefs, because they govern everything we do.

Beliefs
Everyone has different beliefs. Some beliefs are right, and some are
wrong. Most beliefs are either right or wrong. They are just something
we are convinced are the truth.
Most of our beliefs are inherited from our parents, our friends and the
society we live in. We are aware of some of these beliefs, but were
unaware of most of them. It doesnt matter where our beliefs come
from, and it doesnt matter whether we know about them - they will
still rule us.
When it comes to sex, some beliefs are better than others. If you have
one or more beliefs that make it impossible to have a great sex life,
then you have to change them. Its especially important to change
those beliefs that are just dead wrong, like I can't attract beautiful
women, because Im too short., Women dont like sex. or Im
lucky if my wife want to have sex with me
Those beliefs that will affect you the most are those you dont even
know you have. You have to become aware of your beliefs to change
them, and I will help you to get started by telling you some of my
beliefs regarding women and sex.
I have to warn you though, changing beliefs is very, very difficult and
extremely time consuming. Thats the reason why most people dont
change. (Note: Remember that you dont have to be most people if
you dont want to Its okay to do difficult things)
For instance, if youre eighteen years old and believe that youre not
that attractive, then youll probably believe this for the rest of your life.
And since you have this belief, youll see plenty of evidence that this
belief is, in fact, the truth.
I remember when I was eighteen. Of course I wasnt attractive to
women. Women want men with skills and I had none. Not in the
bedroom, and not in life in general.
When I realized that I didnt have any skills, and when I started to
change myself for the better, things didnt change much with women
I still had that old belief: Im not attractive. Women are simply not
interested in me.
Although most of my limiting beliefs when it comes to women and sex
have changed, I still have to work on some of them even after 10
years.
The difficult thing about changing beliefs is that theyre connected to
our feelings. It isnt enough to learn whats right and whats wrong. You
have to integrate that knowledge into your feelings.
When you manage this integration, then and only then youll see
some real change.
Below is a list of my beliefs. Dont think of my beliefs as right or wrong.
My beliefs change over time, and these are some of my beliefs right
now.
My beliefs arent important to you per say, so don't try to copy them. I
only want you to start thinking about your own beliefs. Maybe you
have to change some of them.
Remember, you may not be aware of your own beliefs, but women
youll meet are. Women are experts at finding out mens beliefs. For
them, belief-spotting is a matter of life and death.
Women don't care that much about what you say or what you do, but
still, they pay very close attention to what you say and what you do,
because it's a reflection of your beliefs.
Here are some of my beliefs regarding women and sex (and life in
general):
- I believe sex is impossible without love and trust.
- I believe anything goes when it comes to sex, as long as all parties are
able to make their own decisions.
- I believe it's my responsibility to protect myself and my partners
against STDs and unwanted pregnancies.
- I believe I am responsible for my own actions and feelings.
- I believe women are responsible for their actions and feelings.
- I believe I have the right to live my life as I want to.
- I believe I dont have to explain or justify my actions and feelings to
others.
- I believe sex is a game. Normal rules dont apply. You make up your
own rules together with your partner(s).
- I believe most women will do almost anything when it comes to sex.
They are just plain dirty.
- I believe womens sex fantasies are as sick and wild as mens sex
fantasies. (On average)
- I believe sex is a form of therapy. Its a way to release our suppressed
emotions.
- I believe sex is best when its taken to the extreme. (Tender
lovemaking or hardcore fucking)
- I believe a mans looks, age, social status and wealth have little or
nothing to do with sexual attraction.
- I believe I own my body, and I can do whatever I want with it. I can
even do stupid and dangerous things if I want to. The same goes for
women.
- I believe its a human right to sell sexual services. (If you want to of
course)
- I believe women know whats best for them when it comes to sex.
Women dont need protection against themselves. With one
exception: protection against STDs. (Some women let go of their
rational mind completely when they get aroused.)
- I believe women never do anything they dont want to do. Women
have no problems saying no.
- I believe rape is the most despicable thing you can do to a woman.
- I believe age difference isnt a factor when it comes to sex and love.
- I believe I have no business interfering with other peoples sex lives. I
dont even have the right to think of, or criticize other peoples sex
lives.
- I believe I shouldn't have sex if I feel angry or frustrated.
- I believe in gay and lesbian rights.
- I believe sex is private. Society and other people have no right to know
whats going on in the bedroom. (Except when theres abuse.)
- I believe its NOT my right to talk about what I have done sexually with
a woman. (The woman can talk to her friends if she wants to, but my
lips are forever sealed.)
- I believe no one knows what sex really is. You do what you feel like -
its never right or wrong.
- I believe its best for me to be honest about how I live my life. If others
dont approve, then thats okay.
- I believe everyone chooses how to live their life. If you want to be
single, married, have one lover or many lovers, its all good.
- I believe I have the right to end a relationship that doesn't work. The
same goes for women.
- I believe women are AWESOME! (And sometimes very annoying...)
- I believe every act is a selfish act.
- I believe selfishness is only a problem if you dont know you are
selfish.
- I believe negative or rude behavior is unacceptable. Both from me and
from women.
- I believe I have the right to tell people if they treat me badly. And I
believe I can manage to tell them in a nice way.
- I believe in giving before receiving. (Or I believe that giving is a very
smart thing to do if you want to receive)
- I believe trust must be earned.
- I believe sex is a manifestation of love. (Even when youre fucking like
animals)
Again, these are the beliefs I have right now. They are not right or
wrong, they are just beliefs. Dont ever take any of your beliefs as the
truth. If you do, then youll never be able to change them.
Try to get in contact with your own beliefs. You might be surprised of
what youll find.
If you have the same beliefs today as you had when you were younger,
then you don't live your own life. You are still stuck in the matrix.
You have to grow up and live your own life. Women want independent
men, not social conditioned boys

Knowledge
Knowledge is in two ways different from beliefs.
1. Knowledge is right or wrong.
2. Knowledge is readily available.
You dont have to know a lot to have sex. Sex is about following your
feelings. (I know you are tired of hearing this, but I doubt that you fully
understand it yet. It took me years to realize this myself. And it took be
even longer to come in contact with my true feelings.)
Most of the knowledge in this book isnt really necessary. If youre
honest about your feelings, you dont need to know for instance that
your girlfriend gets aroused when you touch and kiss her body.
Since she is your girlfriend, you want to touch and kiss her, since thats
what gets you aroused. As a result she will get aroused too.
This doesnt mean that the knowledge in this book (and in other books)
is useless. When you know the basic rules behind sex, you can satisfy
women to a degree most men cannot.
If for example your girlfriend has difficulty reaching orgasm, you can
help her getting more aroused than she usually gets, by touching and
kissing her body longer than she is used to. Instead of touching and
kissing her body for 5 minutes, you might do it for 30 minutes. Now you
have built up so much sexual tension that shes almost bursting.
In this way, knowledge makes sex fun and interesting. You start to see
all the possibilities, and you can strengthen the feelings between you
and your partner. You can make your partner feel more arousal, trust
and love than she has ever felt before.
It isnt just the basic knowledge about sex that makes sex fun and
interesting. This is a list of things that isnt necessary to know, but
things that can make sex more fun, interesting and safe.
Useful knowledge about sex:
- Different types of female orgasms and how to achieve them
- How to teach your partner to deepthroat
- How to have anal sex
- How to get your partner to squirt
- How to eat out your partner
- Knowledge about different kinds of condoms and lubes
- Knowledge about STDs and how to prevent and treat them
- Basic personal hygiene
- Vibrators and sex toys
- Rope bondage
- BDSM
- Sex positions
- Body massage
- Oil massage
- Photography
- Etc.
Most of these are not explained in this book, since this book only gets
into the basic knowledge about sex. And also, this type of knowledge is
readily available online and in other books.

Experience
The knowledge you get from this book and other books about sex has
to sink down into the subconscious level. If you think about how to
have sex while you have sex, you're not having sex anymore.
To get knowledge down into your subconscious, theres no substitute
for practice. Hard work is the best way to get experience, so get to it.
With practice youll soon start to get a feel for what's working and
what's not working.
There is, however, one thing you can do to get some experience
without actually having sex.
You can watch porn. For me, it has been my number one learning tool.
I think its easy to forget that porn is nothing other than sex with a
camera in the room. Contrary to common beliefs, theres a lot of porn
thats realistic and natural. Reading about sex, as you do right now is a
much more unnatural way to learning about sex than actually see it
with your own eyes.
Don't you think a really good movie director like Steven Spielberg has
watched more movies than most people? (Im not talking about porn
movies now... :)) He may have gone to "movie director university, but I
bet he has learn much more by watching and studying other peoples
movies.
The same goes for authors.
Steven King once said, "Read and write four to six hours a day. If you
cannot find the time for that, you can't expect to become a good
writer."
Theres no reason that its any different with sex. Do you want to be
good at it, then you have to have a lot of sex, and you have to watch a
lot of sex.
Porn is a great way to get a feel for what women like, and how women
behave. It can't replace real life experience, but it helps.
Stay away from porn where feelings arent real. If the models fake their
feelings and emotions, then theres nothing to learn. Just as the best
actors in Hollywood movies dont really act they play of their real
emotions, good porn models dont put on a show, they have sex real
sex in front of the camera.
The story line in a porn movie (and in a regular movie) isnt important.
Its the feelings and emotions of the models (actors) that make a good
movie. The story can be a fantasy, but the feelings have to be real.
Japanese porn and high quality BDSM porn are good places to start.
Don't only watch porn for the entertainment value, though. Start
noticing how women react and behave in different circumstances, and
focus on feelings and emotions.
Some porn sites have interviews with the models before and after the
shoot. Listen carefully and learn. You will start to notice that many
women say similar things, like "I trust you guys, so I feel I can just let
go." or "I can easily get orgasms when I masturbate, but when I'm in
bondage, it's much more intense."
Dont only look at the women in porn. Pay attention to the guys too. Its
a lot to learn from their behavior. Try to look at how the women react
to different kinds of behavior from the guys. Soon youll just know
how women react in certain situations it has become second nature
to you.
Don't stop learning after youve finished this book. Continue to develop
your skills. Your partner(s) will love you for it.

Presence
Presence is what you have when you let go of your thinking mind. As
soon as you stop thinking, you are present. Presence is part of your
masculinity - its your consciousness. It's the root of creativity.
If you live most of your life inside your own head, you probably have
difficulty relating to women. There are several reasons for this:
Without presence, you wont be able to create emotional connection,
since emotional connection is your presence (your consciousness)
connected to your partners presence.
You will not be able to create sexual attraction, since sexual attraction
is your presence connected to your partners "objects", such as her
looks, feelings and thoughts.
You will certainly not be able to lead, since you have to be present in
each of the 3 steps of leading. You have to feel what you want to do
(step 1). You have to feel what your intuition is telling you (step 2). And
you have to be present to observe your partners response (step 3).
If youre now thinking: how do I stop thinking? Well, then you have a
problem. You can't find a way out of thinking, by thinking about it.
Believe me, I have tried. My whole life Ive been an obsessive thinker.
(No wonder women didn't want me.)
If being present is a challenge for you as well, then reading this book is
not enough. You need more than knowledge. Presence is something
you have to practice, its something you do, its not something
you have. You have to condition yourself to let go of your rational
mind.
You have to figure this out on your own. I know thats terrible advice,
but I havent found the magic cure myself. The only advice I can give is
to mention a couple of things I do myself to be more present.
The first and most important thing I do to be more in the present
moment, is to enjoy my partner. For instance, when I give my partner
an oil massage, I don't focus that much on how to give a good massage.
Instead, I focus on my own enjoyment. I feel how soft and smooth her
skin is under my hands, and I enjoy her wonderful curves.
This takes me out of my own head, so sex becomes more about
enjoyment and less about achieving something. When you start to
enjoy your partner, she will also enjoy it more, since she can feel your
presence.
The second thing I do to become more present, is meditation. When
you understand how to meditate, you have an amazing tool to use
against obsessive thinking. A little meditation every day conditions you
to be present.
The third thing I do to get more focus, is doing things that forces me
to be present. Watching movies, listen to music, talking to people,
being with women, having sex.
For example, if I'm home waiting for my date, I may watch a movie. This
takes me out of my own head. When my date arrives, I'm more focused
on external things, and I can use that focus on my date. Instead of
starting to think when I open the front door, I focus on her. I see what
shes wearing, and how shes behaving.
This instantly creates sexual attraction and emotional connection. I'm
also more aware of my feelings, which makes me more creative. I look
at my beautiful date, and there are a hundred different things I would
like to do with her. I just pick one, and enjoy myself.
You must find out what's working for you. If youre an obsessive
thinker, like me, then this is probably your biggest sticking point with
women.
Practice every day, it will get better
 Chapter 11

How to Lead a Woman, Part 3 - No Doesnt

Always Mean Stop

In the first two parts of how to lead a Woman, you learned the
reasons for leading, the basics of leading, and what not to do when
your partner says 'no'.
In this part well focus on what to do when your partner says 'no'.
The general rule is to take no for an answer, and then lead in another
direction.
This is only partly true.
If you do this every time your partner rejects your lead, youll have the
most boring sex life. And your partner will think so too.
In this chapter youll learn that 'no' doesn't always mean stop.
This sounds like a paradox. 'No means no', and 'no doesnt mean stop'.
Whats going on?
Lets look at a simple example.
You offer a friend some chocolate. He says, "No thanks, I don't eat
chocolate. I havent tried it, but it looks disgusting."
Now, will you take no for an answer here? You know your friend will
probably like the taste of chocolate if he just gives it a try.
Of course, you wouldnt shove it down his throat, and you wouldnt get
angry or disappointed if he didnt try. You would just convince him to
take a bite.
This is what we have to do with women. Sometimes you do know
better than your partner. You just have to convince her to try. But not
by arguing, and not by getting emotional. Theres a better way...
First we have to look at a profound concept from psychology. I call it
the like/dislike concept'.

The Like/Dislike Concept

Our chocolate hating friend is an example of this concept:

You usually don't like what you haven't tried.

Did you get that?
It makes no logical sense, but that's just how it is. If you try something
new, you may like it (or not), but you won't try it, since you have
convinced yourself that you don't like it.
The interesting thing here is that actions come before feelings - not the
other way around. You have to do first - then you know for sure what
you'll feel.
When it comes to sex, the like/dislike concept is even stranger. If you
convince your partner to try something new, it's very likely shell
actually start to like it.

The more she does it, the more shell like it.
It seems like everything is okay when it comes to sex. Most women will
learn to like almost anything, as long as they get used to it. I don't know
the reason for this, but I don't really care. Getting innocent,
inexperienced women to do (and like) sick and dirty things is alright
with me.
The like/dislike concept works with fear as well:
You usually fear the things you havent tried.
Here, feelings (fear) come before actions.
When you do something once, the fear will be reduced. Do it several
times, and the fear will disappear. Do it repeatedly, and youll probably
start to like it.
The like/dislike concept even has another aspect to it:

What you do well, youll probably love.

If a woman for instance thinks shes a good stripper, then shell love to
strip for you. If she knows how to suck a cock (or thinks that she
knows), shell love to suck cock.
Heres the like/dislike concept summed up:
Inexperience -> Fear
Try it once -> Less fear
Try it several times -> No fear
Try it even more -> Start to like it
Experience/Know-how -> Love to do it
You can probably see how the like/dislike concept will make the most
innocent girl become the dirtiest whore.
Theres only one problem we have to solve first: How to convince a
woman to try something she doesnt want to try.
To solve this problem, you have to learn another important concept. I
call it the do-it-again concept.
 The Do-It-Again Concept
Lets jump right into an example:
You have sex with a woman for the first time. You don't know what she
likes and what types of experiences she has. You have to lead to find
out the things that are acceptable for her.
(Since you are a dirty bastard) you feel like putting a finger inside her
ass. And since you don't know her that well yet, you just have to see
whats going to happen. Of course, you have to go slow, so you can
observe her response.
You lick your thumb, and lay it gently on her anus. Immediately, she
moves her body away from you, and looks at you with a surprised
expression on her face.
You don't know why shes sending you a signal to stop. The reason may
be:
1. Anal sex is new for her.
2. She has bad experiences with anal sex.
3. She fears she isnt clean.
4. She doesnt know if you know how to have anal sex.
5. She thinks anal sex is painful.
6. She doesnt trust you enough. (She doesnt know if you take no for
an answer.)
7. She doesnt want to have anal sex right now.
There may be many other reasons such as she isnt aroused enough or
she doesnt feel enough intimacy. But lets make the example as simple
as possible. Lets pretend one of these seven reasons is correct.
Look at the seven reasons again. Only one stands out.
Which one? And why?
I mean it, look again and find out for yourself before you read the
answer.
Do you see it?
Reason 7 stands out. That's the only reason where fear isnt a factor.
The other ones are created by fear. No. 7 is not. Look again and see for
yourself.
Maybe she loves anal sex, but right now she doesnt want to do it.
Thats okay, it's up to her. You can try again later, or maybe the next
time you have sex. Right now, you have to stop what youre doing,
without arguing and without reacting emotionally. Just lead in another
direction. Do something else.
If the reason is 1-6, then you can continue. She feels fear - that's it. No
big deal. Fear is just an emotion, and you only have to reduce her
fear. When the fear is reduced or gone, shell likely try.
(In Chapter 12 Ill give you several fear-reducing persuasion techniques
you can use in the bedroom.)
Its easy to believe that you first have to find out the reason for her
'no'. The problem is, you can't know for sure. And you don't have to
know.
Here is where the do-it-again concept comes in.
What I'm going to tell you now, can NOT be misunderstood. It's
imperative that you know precisely what the do-it-again concept is.
If you do this wrong, you'll probably end up in jail (and rightly so). If you
do this right, your sex life will never be the same again.
Sound scary...?
It should.
Learn it, and do this right.
Here it is. Pay attention, please.
Every time you get a 'no', just continue. Do it again.
Your partners next response is much more important. If her next 'no' is
more assertive, then stop and do something else.
If her next 'no' isn't more assertive, then go on and do it again. You
can try again and again as many times as you like. Just stop if her signals
get more assertive.
This means you can continue to lead in the same direction, no matter
how many times your partner sends you a signal to stop. If her signal
becomes clearer or more assertive, then you have to stop. If you dont
stop, then it's no longer sex - it's rape.
This sounds like a scary and difficult balancing act, but, in real life, it
isn't. As long as youre present, you wont misunderstand your
partners signals.
Women are excellent communicators. They only send out vague (or
mixed) signals when they want to be vague.
This means that when a woman really wants you to stop, shell
definitely send you a clear signal to stop.
Lets look at an example.
Your partner is standing on her knees in front of you. You're about to
come, and you feel like shooting your load right in her face.
You start jerking yourself off, and when your partner realizes what
youre about to do, she tilts her head back, giving you a signal to not
come in her face.
You don't know her reason for doing this. It may be fear, it may be that
she doesnt like cum in her face (I dont blame her), or it may be that
this is unacceptable for her right now, for whatever reason.
If the reason is fear or she doesnt like cum in her face, then the
like/dislike concept is at play. Actions come before feelings. She has to
try it first, and then shell know whether she likes it.
If the reason is: this is unacceptable for her right now. Well, then you
simply can't do it. Do something else. Shoot your load in her mouth or
on her body instead, if thats acceptable to her.
So what do you do? You can't know her reason for tilting her head
back. You have to use the do-it-again concept, then youll find out.
You may say something like this, "Don't lean your head back. I want to
come in your face." She follows you command, but two seconds later
she moves her head to the side, trying to avoid your load.
This is another signal shes sending you. Since this signal isn't any more
assertive than the first one, you can continue.
You now physically turn her head back using your left hand, while you
say firmly, "Take it all right in your face!!" You may even forcefully grab
her neck with your left hand, holding her head in place while you shoot
your load.
If your partner had assertively said "No", or given you any other signal
to stop in an assertive way (with words or with body language), then
stop what youre doing immediately.
And remember, no frustration, no disappointment, no questions asked.
You don't control your partner, you lead her.
As always, women don't do anything they don't want to do. If you're
about to do something thats unacceptable for your partner, youll
definitely know. It's not your job to decide if your partner should for
instance "take your load in her face". It's her choice to stop you if she
wants to not yours.
Are you with me here?
You shouldnt even be thinking about what your partner wants to do or
what she doesnt want to do, because you can't know.
You only know what you want to do.
And also, since you can't ask her (women hate that), you have to just do
it. Trust your partner to stop you when you do something she doesnt
like. And trust yourself to stop whatever youre doing the moment your
partner assertively tells you to stop.
If you only have sex with women you love and respect, youll never do
anything against their will anyway. Why would you? You love them.
Side note: Everyone has bad days, and you may feel irritated or
frustrated at times. Never have sex when you feel this way. Only have
sex when youre in full control of yourself.
To recap the do-it-again concept:
Do whatever you like, and don't stop even when your partner gives you
signals to stop.
Only stop if your partners signals get more assertive. STOP
IMMEDIATELY!!
Do something else.
Remember that when you lead, you lead in small steps, and you lead in
the present moment.
For instance, if you want to have anal sex with your girlfriend, you don't
just shove your penis inside of her, especially if shes new to anal sex.
You take it slow, and go through all the small steps. Maybe it will take
weeks before shes ready (mentally and physically) to go all the way.
Going through all the small steps gives your girlfriend plenty of time to
stop you when she has reached her limit.
You can't lead in huge steps when you use the do-it-again concept.
You have to stay present and attentive, or else you won't notice your
partners signals.
Note: Never anticipate your partners response. This will create
hesitation, and she'll think you ask her for permission. Instead, be
present and lead. (Meaning: Do whatever you like, until your partner
assertively sends you a signal to stop.)
Now I hope you understand that there isn't any contradiction between
'no means no' and 'no doesnt always mean stop'.
You only stop when your partner gives you an assertive signal to stop. If
she doesnt, then do whatever you want with her - because that's what
she wants you to do.
She wants you to let her become the object you use to please yourself.
She wants to submit to your dominance.
Understand that men are takers and women are givers. Take whats
rightfully yours, and let your partner give herself to you.
If you do this right, your partner will gladly give her body to you - every
time you claim it
and remember to claim it - because a woman will never give her body
to a man who doesnt assertively go for what he wants.

You are a man. Inside of you theres power,

aggression, and a will to kill. Your woman is your
willing prey. She is waiting for you to claim her.
 Chapter 12

The Art of Persuasion (18 Persuasion

Techniques for the Bedroom)

Finally were here.

I'm now going to tell you how you can convince women to say 'yes' to
everything you want to do.
Hopefully you know the answer already:
This whole book is about persuasion.
If you use the things youve learned in this book, your partner(s) will say
'yes' to almost everything you suggest.
When a woman says 'yes' or 'no' to your lead, it's a gut reaction. She
uses her intuition, and the decision she makes is already made. When a
woman feels love, respect, intimacy, trust and arousal, then why would
she say no?
Would you?
Let's say youre in bed with your girlfriend, and she wants to do
something really hot and dirty. Right now, you feel a deep love for her,
you trust her, and you feel horny as hell. Would you say 'no'?
Everything you have done from the second you met her, up to this very
moment, will dictate her decision.
Theres no difference between "pick-up", dating, sex and the
relationship youre in. It's all part of the same whole. You can't have sex
outside of a relationship, even when it's a short relationship like a one-
night stand. Every time you take the lead, your partner will accept or
reject depending on everything that has happened up to this point.
Focus on the basics: Create sexual attraction, create emotional
connection, create trust, follow your feelings, and be honest with
yourself. Theres no magical formula - you have to work for it. Take
your time and do the job.
The reward will be immense. Youll soon find yourself in these
incredible relationships, filled with love, intimacy, trust and great sex.
And best of all, it's so easy. Just follow your heart and lead. That's the
real art of persuasion.

18 Persuasion Techniques
Now that you understand what the real art of persuasion is all about,
we can look at some persuasion techniques. I'm not against using
techniques and routines - I use them frequently.
Most of these persuasion techniques have to do with reducing your
partners fears:

1. Leading
This is the most powerful persuasion techniques of them all. In fact, all
the other persuasion techniques are done by leading.
Without you taking charge, nothing will ever happen.

2. Repetition
Repetition is something you will use every time you have sex. You
repeat what youre saying or doing twice or several times, until your
partner accepts.
If your partner doesnt want to do it, then just move on to something
else.
Example:
You say casually, "Spread your legs, please!" Your partner doesnt
spread her legs, and you repeat once more. Again you say casually,
"Spread your legs!"
The second time you say this, it's very likely shell follow your lead. But
you may have to repeat several times before she accepts. Dont be
afraid to do this, even if it feels a little weird.
She may resist at first, because she wants to build sexual tension. Or
she may resist because she feels some fear and uncertainty.
Fear may come from:
She doesnt trust you yet.
Shes afraid youre going to do something she doesnt want later.
(Maybe penetrating her when shes still dry.)
Shes not sure if you know what youre doing.
Shes afraid she isnt clean.
A million other reasons.
You usually don't know her reason for resisting, and you don't have to
know. Every time you repeat (without arguing and without emotions)
you'll create trust - and trust is a powerful remedy for fear.
By the way, if you start to think about the reasons for your partners
resistance, youll lose your presence. STAY OUTSIDE OF YOUR OWN
HEAD!

3. Motivation
Sometimes motivation is what your partner needs.
You can say things like, "You can do it!", "Come on, baby!" or "I know
you can!" The sound of your voice is important here. Be positive and
assertive.
Another way to motivate a woman is to use reverse psychology. Such
as, "You're such a pussy!" or "You can't do it, I know you can't!"
Again, the sound of your voice is important. Make it fun - you're teasing
her.

4. Compliments (Positive reinforcement)

This is a huge one!!
This is also a motivation technique, but its a motivation technique you
use after your partner has done what you wanted her to do.
By complimenting her, youll motivate her to do it again, or to do it
even better. When your partner does something thats a little difficult
or scary, then give her praise.
Don't wait until she does it exactly right, though. As soon as she just
tries to do what you want her to do, give her a compliment.
Don't be shy with your compliments either. Let her know how happy
you are for trying. Your tone of voice is important be enthusiastic.
Example:
You wife gives you a blowjob. You want her to go deeper, and you say,
"A little deeper, please! ... a little deeper ... you can do it, I know you
can."
As soon as she tries, give her praise.
Maybe it's impossible for her to do it, but compliment her never the
less. You can say something like, "... oh yes, baby, thats it ... OH MY
GOD, THAT FEELS SO GOOD!!"
The more praise you give your wife, the harder shell try. The next time
she gives you a blowjob, shell remember your compliments, and shell
try to please you even harder.
Women love to please. In fact, they need to please. But they have to
know that theyre actually pleasing. Its not uncommon for a woman
to hold back even when she desperately wants to please you just
because she isnt sure if you like whatever she is doing.
By giving tons of compliments - especially enthusiastic compliments
you give your partner the incentive to please you. She cant help
herself. She has a burning desire to please you. With your compliments,
youre throwing fuel on that burning desire.
And by the way, when having sex, moaning is your main way of using
positive reinforcement. Your moaning will tell your partner when shes
doing it right.

5. Being patient
Give your partner time to get used to your suggestion. This may be
something new for her. Just be patient and wait.
Your patience will build both trust and love. It's unlikely your partner
will resist you when she feels both trust and love.
And also, patience is a part of your masculinity, and it will create sexual
attraction. Sometimes patience is more effective than repetition.
When repetition doesnt work, then play it cool for a while and try
again later Patience is a powerful persuasion technique.

6. Let it become her fantasy

This is basically the same as being patient. She may need several days
or weeks to get use to your suggestion.
Maybe she needs some alone time to fantasize about it. This is a way
for her to test it out in her head before she tries it out with you.
7. Being calm and assertive
This one youll be using every time you have sex.
Youll be using calm-assertiveness together with repetition. This time
you change your voice or your body language. Use more assertiveness.
Lets use the same example as before...
First you say calmly and casually, "Open your legs!" Then you say calmly
and assertively, "OPEN YOUR LEGS!" The combination of being calm
and assertive is very powerful.
Youre showing your partner that you know precisely what youre doing
- that's why you are so calm and assertive.
Since youre calm, she knows theres nothing to fear. She knows she
can stop you at any time, without any negative reactions from you.
You don't have to talk to use calm assertiveness. It works with your
actions too. Just use your body language to show your partner that you
mean business.
These are the signals you want to send:
I'm in charge here, and I know exactly what I'm doing. You don't have
to fear anything. I take full responsibility, both for myself and for you.
Get it?
It's all about the signals you're sending her.

8. Use aggression
This is the same as the previous one - you only use more assertiveness.
Aggression is similar to anger, but its also the opposite of anger. With
anger youve lost control over yourself. When you use aggression,
youre in full control over your decisions.
You have to be completely calm when you use aggression. There can be
no anger or frustration in your voice.
And more importantly, you can't feel any anger or frustration. If you do,
then stop having sex right away, because youre no longer in control.
Example:
Youre violently deepthroating your wife. Youre holding her head
between your hands, fucking her face hard and forcefully.
From the outside, it seems like you don't care about your wife. But she
knows that you love and respect her, and she trusts you to stop
whenever she wants to. If she wasnt sure of this, she would have
stopped you long ago.
Why is this a persuasion technique?
Women get turned on by assertiveness and aggression. And when a
woman is highly aroused, then shell likely go along with whatever you
want to do.

9. "Do you trust me?"

This is a rhetorical question you can use when you're about to do
something new and scary.
The question itself doesnt create trust, but it gives your partner some
time to realize that youve never broken her trust in the past - and it's
unlikely youll start now.
With this question, youre also sending her a signal that you're about to
do something she hasn't tried before. She doesnt have to worry, since
youre in full control over the situation.
When you say, "Do you trust me?" be calm, look your partner right in
the eyes and give her time to answer. If she doesnt answer, then ask
her again. (Repetition, remember...)
(If she makes a joke about it by laughing and saying no - then shes
sending you mixed signals. Dont laugh yourself, but instead ask her
again in a serious tone of voice. Several times if you have to. She just
feels some fear thats why shes sending you mixed signals.)

10. "Do it for me!"

Women love to please, and theyll look for opportunities to do so.
Make it easy for your partner to please you by telling her directly.
When you say, "Do it for me!", "Come for me!", "Give it to me!" or
"Swallow my cum for me!" then you give your partner an opportunity
to please you.

11. "I want..." or I want you to

This is similar to the previous one - you give your partner the chance to
please you.
Every time you use the two magical words 'I want', youre making
things easy for your partner. She doesnt have to find out for herself
what you want and need, since youre telling her directly.
Examples:
"I want you to give me a massage."
"I want you to come for me."
"I want you to get naked."
"I want you to take care of me, I feel a little down today."
"I want to make love to you."
I want my cock deep down your throat.
Saying I want is also persuasive for another reason. Youre being
honest with your own feelings. Youre not trying to manipulate your
partner. Instead you just tell her whatever you feel and need.
It's difficult to argue with feelings. In fact, it's impossible to argue with
feelings. Telling your partner directly what you feel and how she can
help you will make it simple for her. If she loves you, then theres no
reason for her to not to give you what you want and need.
Being honest with your feelings and needs is something every woman
want from a man.
Isn't it amazing? You can just tell a woman what you feel and need, and
shell not only do it for you, shell love and respect you for being
honest.

12. "I know."

One of the most important things I have learned in my life is that
emotions and feelings exist for one reason and for one reason only - to
get attention.
If your partner feels pain, fear or sadness, then let her know that you
know. If for instance shes crying, then hold her and say, "I know *that
you are sad]".
When you have sex, and your partner is worried, or maybe she feels
some pain, then say, "I know."
Now she knows that you know. She knows youll take the right action to
make her situation better. Since she knows you will remedy the
situation, she has nothing to fear, and she won't stop you.
Here are two other words that work just as well: "I understand."
Make sure you do understand. You can't fake this.

13. Freeze the situation

This one is a combination of being calm, assertive and patient.
When you do something thats a surprise for your partner, she may
move away from you, or she may try to stop you. If this is something
you don't want her to do, then immediately take control over the
situation.
You do the same thing that cops do with criminals, except you don't say
"FREEZE!! (mother fucker)". That would be weird.
You may say loudly and assertively, "WAIT!", "STAY STILL!" or "DON'T
MOVE!" This will make her "freeze", and shell instantly calm down.
The signals youre sending are:
It's alright. I know youre a little surprised right now. I'll give you a
couple of seconds to calm down and realize that I have never broken
your trust in the past, and you know I won't do it now. This may be new
for you, but I done this many times, and I know what I'm doing. Just
calm down and trust me.
It's amazing how you can "say" all this with just one or two words.

14. Dont stop me.

This one is similar to the previous one, and its very effective.
At the first sign of resistance, you say calmly, Dont stop me. Then
you continue whatever you were doing.
Since this command is quite assertive in itself, I usually use a more
casual tone of voice. If fact, saying, Dont stop me with a low, calm
and casual tone of voice is very powerful and dominant.
Remember that women dont do anything they dont want to do. If
your partner really wants you to stop, she will let you know.
As with most of these persuasion techniques, they work best in
combination. Heres an example:
Dont stop me, just stand still. Its okay, I know *that you are scared+
Thats my good girl!

15. Knowledge and experience

This is a big one!
Sometimes you want your partner to take charge and lead. As you now
know, this is scary for most women.
One common reason for this is that women don't know what to do, and
how to do it. They lack knowledge and experience. You have to teach
your partner how to do it.
Example:
You have sex with a young and inexperienced woman. You want her to
give you a blowjob, but she refuses. No matter which persuasion
technique you use, she won't do it.
What you have to realize is that for inexperienced women, the number
one reason for not blowing a guy is fear of doing something wrong.
When a woman gives a blowjob, she has to use her creative masculine
side. She has to lead. Without any knowledge and experience, she
doesnt know how to do it. Therefore, she will likely decline your offer
rather than risking doing something wrong or embarrassing.
What do you do?
You need to teach her.
Sometimes you can explain things before she does it, but this isnt the
best way to teach your partner. The best way to teach your partner is
to use the next persuasion technique, 'leading in detail'.
Well come back to this example after you have learned 'leading in
detail'.
16. Leading in detail
This technique is extremely effective for both reducing fear, and for
teaching your partner how to do things. It's best explained with an
example.
Example 1:
You and your girlfriend come home after a romantic dinner. You sit
down in a chair and start watching your girl. She notices how you watch
her, and it excites her.
Casually, you say, "Strip for me!"
Surprised, she answers, "What?", as if she didn't hear you. You repeat
in the same casual tone of voice, "Strip for me!"
She thinks about it for a couple of seconds, then she laughs and
declines your offer. (Mixed signals)
Whats going on here? Clearly she likes being watched. Why won't she
follow your lead?
Youre telling her to use her creative masculine side. Youre telling her
that for the next few minutes, she has to lead herself. This will make
her nervous, especially if she hasn't stripped before. She doesnt know
how to do it.
Here, you have to lead her through it. You have to lead in detail.
You might say something like this:
"Turn on the stereo, please ... theres a cd already in it. Just push 'play'
... now, dance for me ... come on! You can do it move your body ...
there you go, thats it ... you're SO HOT! ... come closer, baby ... don't
be shy ... turn around for me, let me see what you got ... shake it for me
... oh yes, thats PERFECT ... slowly unbutton your shirt ... Thats it, take
your time be sexy for me ..."
This removes some of the pressure for her to be creative. The next time
shes in as similar situation, shell know what to do. Maybe you don't
have to lead the next time around.
Side note: Notice how I use several persuasion techniques in sequence.
Look again and see how many I use.
Example 2:
Now we can go back to the young and inexperienced woman from the
previous example.
Since shes a woman and not a man, you can take it for granted that
she wants to blow your cock. She just doesnt know how to do it.
She would probably be very disappointed if you stopped and did
something else. She's waiting for you to make her do it - not by forcing
her - but by leading her.
Take charge of the situation and lead. Tell her in detail what to do. This
will remove her fears of doing something wrong. If she does something
wrong, then it's your fault - you made her do it.
You may say, "Do you want to know how I like to be blown?
(Rhetorical). I'll show you ... start licking my shaft gently ... right there
that's it ... make your tongue wet ... oh yes, that's better ..."
I don't know how you like to be blown. You have to fill in the rest
yourself
This last sentence isnt supposed to be funny. You really have to know
how you want things. If you dont know, how can your partner know?
And of course, if you don't know, how can you lead...?

17. Have fun!

Laughter is a great remedy for fear.
It's especially useful when something goes wrong or something
embarrassing happens. Just start laughing about it. It doesnt matter if
you did something stupid, or she did. It's no big deal. Youre having sex
- it's supposed to be fun.
Making your partner laugh is also an effective way to arouse her. It's
not that women are attracted to funny men. Youre filling her with
emotions, which make her more feminine, thus creating sexual tension.

18. Right attitude (Expect a positive outcome)

I have saved be most important persuasion technique until the end.
This one you have to use every time you lead.
The first thing a woman will do when you lead is to see if you have
convinced yourself. If you havent, then shell reject your lead.
It doesnt matter what you say or do. It may be something completely
innocent, like "Do you want to come home with me?", or something
more out there like "Let me taste your wet pussy."
If what you say or do is normal for you, then it will, in most cases, be
normal for your partner as well. Let me repeat that, this is crucial:

If what you say or do is normal for you, then it will, in

most cases, be normal for your partner as well.
It doesnt matter if it's something completely new for your partner, or
something that sounds a bit out of the ordinary. She will look to you,
and to your feeling. If you feel comfortable, then she will feel
comfortable as well.
Example 1:
Youre on a first date with this amazing girl. Shes sweet, kind and
honest. Just the type of woman you like. Theres nothing you want
more than asking her to come home with you.
Since youre an honest man, you don't suppress your own feelings. You
accept that youre sexually attracted to your date, and you tell her what
you feel like doing.
You say, "Do you want to come home with me?"
(This is just an example. In real life its usually better to lead without
asking questions.)
Your date will base her answer on what you feel, not on your words. It's
all about what you feel and how you behave when you ask her. It's
about the signals youre sending her.
When you open your mouth to speak, look straight into her eyes, and
ask her without hesitation. Theres no reason for you to be nervous.
You follow your natural feelings. Sexual attraction and sex are as
natural as sleep.
If you arent nervous about going to sleep, then why should you be
nervous about asking an attractive woman home with you?
Side note: If youre now thinking: But I am nervous ... , then go back
to chapter 10: Self Development. You have to change your beliefs. If you
have the right beliefs about yourself and women, then you wouldnt be
nervous.
Your date will of course take your question as a huge compliment. An
attractive man is interested in her. But shell probably not give you an
answer right away. She wants to know if this is natural for you.
She might look down at the floor. She might start laughing nervously.
She might say, "Really?" (All of these are mixed signals.) Whatever shes
doing, you have to keep on looking straight at her, and wait.
Theres nothing more for you to do here. Youve already asked her your
question, and youre patiently waiting for her response. You might start
to smile a little, because it's funny that she can't make up her mind. But
never the less, you have to wait.
Remember the basics. Youve asked her a question, and you have to
wait for her response. She might say, "Maybe." or "I don't know", but
those arent real answers. So you wait
Don't let her get away with not answering. Maybe you have to say half-
jokingly, "I believe I asked you a question.", or "I'm still waiting." But
still, you have to wait for her answer.
Her answer will be based on the signals youre sending her. These
signals come directly from your beliefs, and from your ability to be
present.
These are the signals you want to send her:
'I'm a man, and I'm not afraid of my emotions. When I meet an amazing
woman, and when I feel aroused by her, I feel proud, and I don't hide it.
I want you to come home with me, because I believe well have a nice
time together. If you accept, Ill take care of you and treat you great. If
you reject, then I'm thankful for this date. Hopefully well meet in the
future.'
You can't say this with words. It's too easy to lie with your words. Your
beliefs on the other hand are at the core of who you are - you can't fake
them. When shes letting you wait for her answer, shes testing these
beliefs.
Don't think that shes testing you consciously, she isn't. She really is
uncertain of what shes going to do. But as shes trying to answer your
question, her subconscious is picking up on your subtle signals. Her
subconscious (her genes) is testing your beliefs.
(Do you see how important it is to challenge your beliefs? Learning to
seduce (pick-up) women and learning to please women in bed, all
comes down to how much time you use to change yourself to a better
person. Self-development is everything.)
As youre sitting there waiting patiently (without being emotionally
reactive), youre also creating sexual attraction, emotional connection
and trust.
Every woman youll ever meet will look for a man who can create
sexual attraction, emotional connection and trust. Most men can't
create these three vital factors - and your date knows it.
Theres no way shes going to let you get away.
Example 2:
This next example is similar to the previous one, with one exception:
you don't ask, you command.
When you ask, you have to wait for a response. When you command,
you don't wait, you just do it, or you use the do it again concept until
she accepts. If your partner really doesnt want to, then she will stop
you.
Your date decides to come home with you. After some small talk you
start kissing. Before you know it youre both half naked in bed making
out.
Half-jokingly, you say, "Are your panties wet?"
She laughs, and you continue making out. 20 seconds later you say,
"Still not wet? ... Let me know when they are".
She asks, "Why?
You just smile, then you continue making out
After a couple of minutes she stops, and with a suppressed smile on her
face she says, "I think my panties are wet now..."
You say:
"Good! ... Show me! ... Put a finger between your legs, and bring it back
to my mouth ... I want to taste you ... Come on!! ... Let me taste your
wet pussy ... put your right hand under your panties and make your
middle finger wet ... Come on!! ... You can do it!! ... Thats it ... bring
your finger to my mouth ... let me taste ... thats it ... Oh yes!! That's
delicious ... Thank you so much ... Now, please give me some more..."
In this example you don't wait for her response. You expect a positive
outcome, and you use one persuasion technique after another.
The signals youre sending her are:
'This is normal for me. I do this all the time and I'm not ashamed of it. I
just follow my feelings. You make me so incredibly horny, and I want to
enjoy you to the fullest.'
How can any woman resist that...?
 Appendix 1

Social Status

In chapter 2, you learned that social status is one of four factors women
look for when they choose men.
It isn't a factor in the bedroom, but its an essential factor when it
comes to both seduction and relationships.
Bear in mind that it isnt your social status thats important - its all
about womens social status.
Women want higher social status they are obsessed with it - and you
can help them. The easiest way to do that is to raise your own social
status.
In this appendix well look at how you can raise your own social status
in a time and cost effective way.
Now, let's start at the beginning. What is social status?
It's difficult to define social status, yet everyone has a pretty good idea
of what it is. It seems there are so many factors determining your social
status.
Here are some of them:
- Money
- Looks
- Clothes
- Personal hygiene
- Possessions
- Skin color
- The social status of your friends
- The social status of your family
- How many friends you have
To clear up the confusion, it's best to go back to the origin of social
status the Stone Age.
The person with the highest social status in a Stone Age hunter-
gatherer society was of course the leader of the group, the chief.
As I explained earlier in this book, a woman would be wise to get
together with the chief or his closes relatives. She and her childrens
future would be safe.
Its quite clear that you cant become a tribal chief today. So, how do
you raise your social status in our modern society?
As I see it, there are two ways to raise your social status:
1. Do it directly - Becoming a celebrity
2. Cheat - Use status symbols
Since becoming a celebrity is really difficult and would probably take a
lot of time, let's instead focus on status symbols.

Social Status and Status Symbols

Cheating and using status symbols to "impress" women seems so
wrong. But stay with me. It's not as bad as it sounds.
A status symbol is something you have which indicates your social
status.
In the Stone Age, nice clothes were an important status symbol. The
chief and his closes relatives had the best clothes, and Stone Age
women would therefore assume (instinctively) that a man with nice
clothes had high social status.
Guess what...?
Women havent changed.
Even today, women feel instinctively that a man with nice clothes has
high social status even when there isnt any connection between
clothes and social status.
And the great thing is that today, almost anyone can afford nice
clothes. That's why I call it cheating.
By wearing nice clothes youre activating deep-seated female instincts.
It doesnt matter that your clothes are cheap - as long as your clothes
are nice looking they will give the impression of high social status.
Let's cheat some more...
In the Stone Age, the chief had better personal hygiene than the
average Joe. Therefore, a Stone Age woman connected good personal
hygiene with high social status.
Since this connection between personal hygiene and social status is
instinctive, it's valid today as well.
I bet you can afford going out right now and buy a nail clipper, a nail
file, deodorant, shampoo and soap. And you probably have money left
to visit the hairdresser on your way home.
Again, youve cheated. Well done.
It quite amazing that not every guy out there takes advantage of these
cheap and effective ways to raise your social status. If you want to, you
can raise your social status within hours.
Nice clothes and good personal hygiene are the only two status
symbols I use. They work wonders.
By the way, I never buy expensive clothes. It's not in womens genes to
distinguish expensive designer clothes from nice looking cheap clothes -
so why waste money.
You can buy expensive clothes if you want to, but do it for yourself.
Don't do it to impress anyone - because you won't.

What about other status symbols?

Cars, money, apartment, a PhD diploma on the wall, etc.
Well, the thing is, they didn't have these status symbols in the Stone
Age. Theyre part of our culture and not a part of our genes.
This doesnt mean that theyre worthless. Evolutionary biologists
believe that women can connect social status with whats in vogue right
now, such as a BMW or a PhD. And of course, wearing clothes that
were in fashion in the 80's will probably not help you.
For me, the most important reason why I don't focus on the status
symbols mentioned above, is because theyre either expensive, or time
consuming.
And also, women usually can't see them.
Money, an expensive car and a college degree are invisible in a bar or
other places you usually meet women. Clothes and personal hygiene on
the other hand, are visible anywhere. So that's what I stick to.
Cars, possessions, a good education, and big biceps are all great. But do
that for you. Don't do it to impress women. It's a waste of time and
money.
I mentioned earlier that social status isn't a factor in the bedroom.
Theres an obvious exception here - personal hygiene.
Women want clean and well groomed men not only to show off to
friends and family but in bed as well.
 Appendix 2

How to Lead a Woman, Part 4 Patience

Another part of How to Lead a Woman

Hopefully you now understand the importance of leading.
Making decisions (leading) is crucial for seduction, foreplay and sex.
Its especially important for creating sexual attraction, since women are
genetically programmed to get turned on when a man takes action.
But knowing when to not lead is as important as making an assertive
move.
This may come as a surprise to you, but choosing to wait can be as
arousing to women as choosing to make a move.
And often its necessary to use your patience to get your partner in the
mood for sex. Some women dont get turned on before youve shown
your patience.
Lets look at why patience is a turn on for women.

Patience, Masculinity and the Stone Age

Hunter
Patience can easily be mistaken for a feminine trait. This couldnt be
farther from the truth. Patience is at the heart of masculinity.
In chapter 4, I divided masculinity into two parts an active and passive
part. Patience belongs to both of these parts. In this appendix well
focus on the active part of masculinity decision making (leading).
When talking about decision making, its easy to forget that patience is
as important as assertiveness. For a Stone Age hunter it was as
important to know when to make a move as to know when to wait for a
better opportunity.
A Stone Age hunter without patience would have been a hungry Stone
Age hunter. He would have been running after his pray like a mad man.
Women who chose these impatience Stone Age hunters would have
died of hunger, and the impatience genes would have died out with
them.
For that reason, patience is today a vital masculine trait. Its as
important as assertiveness. Women are genetically programmed to get
turned on by both patience and assertiveness.
If fact, if you cant show a woman that youre both assertive and
patient, then she probably wont get turned on enough to have sex.
Even if she gets turned on by your assertiveness alone, its often not
enough. She needs to feel your patience as well.
This is especially true during seduction and foreplay. Most women will
not even kiss a man before he has shown his patience. If a woman feels
that a man desperately needs to kiss her, then shell be turned off by
him.
Before we look at some examples, I want to point out that patience
isnt the same as indecisiveness.
When youre using patience, you make a decision to not make a move.
You decide that right now you wont say or do anything you wait.
Youre completely calm and at ease, because you have decided to wait
for a better opportunity.
When youre indecisive, youre not sure of what to do. You feel restless
and anxious, because you cant make up your mind.
Patience is what you use when you decide to not
make a move. Assertiveness is what you use when
you decide to make a move.
Patience and assertiveness are in this way the only two options you
have when you make a decision. You can choose to take action, or you
can choose to wait.
Think of an exceptionally confident and cool guy. It can be a friend or a
celebrity. (George Clooney for example.)
His confidence comes from his assertiveness. When he wants to say or
do something, he just says or does it. He is not afraid of being judged by
others. He makes a move, and he stands for it.
His coolness comes from his patience. When he doesnt have anything
to do or say, then hes completely at ease. He doesnt freak out and try
to come up with something to do or say he just waits.
I bet this cool confident guy youre thinking of right now is popular with
women. He got the two important masculine traits you need to be a
good hunter patience and assertiveness.
Therefore, he is sexually attractive to women.
Side note: From this we can conclude that indecisiveness is almost the
perfect definition of a sexually unattractive man. When youre stressed
out because you cant make up your mind, then youre the male
equivalent of an ugly woman.

Patience and Anticipation

Now you know the biological connection between patience and sexual
attraction. Lets look at the psychology behind patience and sexual
attraction.
If youve forgotten the definition of sexual attraction, then here it is
again:
The Definition of Sexual Attraction:
Sexual attraction is the feeling of arousal that appears when one person
acts or feels masculine, and the other person acts or feels feminine.
This means that you have to make a woman feel feminine to arouse
her. (While you yourself use your masculinity.)
The easiest way to do this is to use your assertiveness. Assertiveness is
part of your masculinity, and it will make your partner more feminine.
You can for instance choose to give your partner a massage. Now she
feels pleasure, thus she feels more feminine, since the feeling of
pleasure is part of femininity.
Or even better, you can tickle her. Now she feels both pleasure and
pain. Since all feelings are part of femininity, shell feel more feminine.
Or you can choose to do nothing at all you can wait.
Waiting (patience) creates anticipation. Anticipation is a powerful
emotion and women love it. Anticipation is a strange mix of pleasure,
excitement, hope and fear. And as all feelings and emotions,
anticipation is part of femininity.
Your emotionless patience (masculinity), and your partners
anticipation (femininity) will create sexual polarity between you and
your partner. The end result is arousal.

Example 1: The First Kiss

This is a classic.
Youve been seducing a woman for a couple of hours. Youve been
leading the whole way. Building arousal, emotional connection and
trust.
Its obvious that shes attracted to you, and you decide to go in for the
first kiss. To your surprise she rejects you. She tilts her head back and
laughs nervously.
This is mixed signals, so you use the do it again concept - you try again.
The same thing happens again. She wont kiss you, even though shes
turned on.
Whats going on?
From a biological standpoint, you havent shown her your patience.
Youve been assertive the whole evening, but thats not enough. A
Stone Age hunter needs patience as much as assertiveness, and her
instincts tell her to back off.
You back off and play it cool for 10-15 minutes. Maybe you talk about
something random, or maybe your check your email or something. You
act completely disinterested in her. (Without being rude of course)
This will drive her insane. Her mind will go something like this:
Doesnt he like me anymore? Maybe Im not attractive But he
tried to kiss me Will he try again? Maybe he has a girlfriend Why
didnt I kiss him back? Shit! I blew it Why wont he kiss me again?
Do I have bad breath?
Her mind is hijacked by anticipation.
This potent cocktail of emotions, called anticipation, fuels her thoughts.
Her mind is raising just what you wanted.
Shes filled with all these conflicting thoughts and feelings. Right now,
shes highly feminine. (As I have explained several times in this book:
all thoughts and feelings are part of femininity.)
And who made her this feminine?
You did!
Her anticipation (femininity) is fueled by your patience (masculinity).
When you choose to switch back to assertiveness, and go for the first
kiss once again, then shell be more than ready.
(Im still amazed how well this play-it-cool move works. Creating
anticipation works wonders. If you havent tried it, then youre in for a
surprise)

Example 2: Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

Youre giving your wife a soothing oil massage.
She lies on her stomach, and you massage her shoulders and back
slowly. You have all the time in the world, and your wife feels
completely at ease.
Eventually you move on downwards and work on her buttocks. When
your wife thinks youll move in between her legs, you stop, and start
massaging her feet instead.
Slowly you start massaging her calves, and then her thighs, and
eventually her inner thighs. Now your wife knows whats coming and
she cant wait. She even spreads her legs, letting you know shes
impatient.
Then, you surprise her again. You start massaging her hands and arms
This is a great way to build anticipation and arousal. Youre alternating
between moving forward (towards her more intimate body parts), and
then backing off again.
Your wife will be aroused both by your assertiveness (massaging more
and more intimate parts of her body) and by your patience (backing off
and taking your time).
This two steps forward, one step back approach works like a charm
with women. Its much more effective than only moving forward.
It takes you longer to reach your goal (first kiss, sex, or whatever you
want to achieve), but youre more likely to get there, since youre using
both assertiveness and patience.
When youve developed the skill of building both assertiveness and
patience, then you wont have any problems arousing women.

The definition of a sexually attractive man is a man

whos comfortable with both making a move and not
making a move.
Make sure you become that man because its a whole lot of fun
I wish you the best of luck!
And remember Luck has really nothing to do with it.

Its all about hard work and self-development.