A SPLTTNG OF THE MND

By: shoved2agree

From the first moment I laid eyes upon him, I decided I liked him. That was saying something, because I dont
much like anyone. I cant afford to like or trust anyone. Not anymore.

Gerard Way being a young 19 year old boy in a mental health institution has many of problems. One of them is
Paranoid Schizophrenia. Gerard suffers from delusions and hallucinations. He believes there is an old Army
sergant , called Jasper, to guide him away from an army who is out to get him. Gerard believs that once they
get him, they will cut open his head and, they will steal his secrets. In doing so the world will end.
Gerard meets Frank Iero in the institute (which he had been in for 2 years). Gerard looks for Franks file
finding out that the innocent boy had been raped by two men.
My instant thought were that I felt sorry for Gerard, and for Frank. Gerard didnt think he was crazy, just like
most Schizophrenic people. He didnt know what had caused him to be in this mental institution, all he thought
was that he was in there to be protected from them.
Frank felt constantly dirty so I felt bad for him, knowing that he needed to be cleaned almost all the time
because of what he thought.

Of course as clichs go, they became friends who pretty much trusted each other so much. Obviously they
fought occasionally just like any friends do. However it felt so much worse knowing that they were so broken
and that one word could make them feel as low as they could get. It broke my heart knowing that Frank still felt
dirty and Gerard were having these dreams about saving Frank and a young boy name Micheal - Obviously you
felt for Gerard as he didnt know who Micheal was but you had some sort of idea. The dreams were sometimes
vivid.
Then obviously the pinning occurs and you feel bad for Gerard, knowing that there was a crush on a young 16
year old who had been raped. Gerard wanted to protect Frank more than he wanted to protect himself from
Them. The kissing happens, obviously Gerard feels bad about in some way or another
His doctor Markman seems nice but to Gerard she was betraying his trust by not telling him things etc. It was
heartbreaking to see Gerard in this state of mind.
Then eventually Gerard realises that Micheal (Mikey) was his brother, who he accidently shot. The thought rush
through his head as he realises hes a murderer. He realises that he is in fact, a tad crazy but denies it to
everyone INCLUDING hisself.
Then Ray comes with his crazy predictions, he predicts that Gerard and Frank were going to run away together.
which is just what they had planned. Gerard was going to be taken away for murder and Gerard wanted to be
there to protect Frank, so the idea was to run away. Of course Ray came up with the idea of using the Fire
Alarm as an escape route. You automatically feel a sense of happiness for both Frank and Gerard, but you know
that its going to come crashing down soon.
Of course as Gerard is about to pull the alarm, Markman sees him. He still pulls the trigger.
They do escape and on the way out Markman stops Frank. Gerard cant hear the conversation, so neither can
the reader as the text was in first person. Markman lets them go, even though she couldve stopped them if
she wanted to.
So they escape and go to Franks house to get some money. The realisation that Frank really trusted his rapists
at the time really hits you. It hits you in the guts - Hard.
Surely Frank didnt think I needed it? Im not crazy. I dont need pills to make me better when I wasnt even
sick to begin with. Maybe Frank didnt know what was in the package when Markman gave it to him?

Oh, hang on. What if Frank did know? What if.

The way Gerard actually talks about his illness actually makes the reader feel for him. Of course hes not crazy,
there was no reason for him to think he was crazy. Jasper was only saving his like from them. The fact that
Gerard even begins to mistrust Frank truely hits you hard. The paranoia and the schizophrenia really does hurt
him a lot. Yet, he doesnt even realise it. He just thinks its natural. All Gerard wanted to do was to fix him. To
make him better. Replace his broken memories, he loved him after all.
I dont need anyone to look after me, I told her. Its true; Ive looked after myself for the past three years. I
didnt need to be looked after. My job was to look after Frank. He was the broken one.
Markman went silent for a second. Everybody needs someone to look after them. Im sorry that I couldnt do
that for you, Gerard.
Markman sounded very emotional. I hope she didnt start to cry. I didnt like to deal with crying women. Its
okay. I dont think it was anyones fault, I said. I cant help being crazy.
Gerard, youre not crazy.
My phone credit expired just as a tear trickled down my cheek. Into the silent receiver I said, Yes, I am.
My heart began to break at this point. Knowing that his father was the President of the USA and that he shot
his own brother. The weight of what Gerard really did really hurts. The pressure builds and he just realises the
truth and it snaps. He was crazy. It may have taken him a long time to figure it out but it was inevitable ; He
knows things, remember?
I will never be able to love you until theyre gone. I want to love you, Gerard. I want to spend the rest of my
life with you but I cant! They took something from me and its gone forever! A little piece of me got torn out
and Im broken now. Im all sad and pathetic and afraid. Im afraid that youre going to leave me because I
cant give you what you deserve. I need to do this because its the only way. I know we can replace them if
we try hard enough.
He wants to but he cant. All Gerard wants to do is fix him, but even that is beggining to become too difficult. I
love the writing style. Its unusual in a good way. It honestly sounds like the writing is coming from a mental
asylum patient that doesnt think they are crazy, just like Gerards character is. The way it is shows A LOT of
emotion and thats the whole point. You feel for Gerard as he has done his work.
By the time Markman, Gerard and Frank had meeten up again, I was in tears. Gerard wanted to see his little
brother. The brother in which he broke. Gerard ultimately feels guilty because he had trapped his brothers
broken, child-like mind inside a teenagers body.
Mikey made a loud growling noise in his throat. He sounded angry. I didnt know what I had done wrong.
No, you stupid head! he exclaimed, his words disjointed and strained as though it was hard for him to say
them. Its not Batman! he said and his voice rose. Its my brother. Its Gee-rard. He growled again and his
hand twitched. Not Batman.
Its really touching that he didnt know who Gerard was in the beginning, even though he was having a one-on-
one conversation with him. It hurts my heart to think that he believed his brother was okay, still normal - not
crazy. Of course that was all a lie.
I did something very bad and lots of people got hurt.
Mikey tilted his head to the side inquisitively. Gee-rard did something bad t-too. Th-thats my brother, he
added as though Id forgotten.
Gerard is very sorry, I said and lost the fight to keep from crying.
Im hungry, he announced and rubbed his stomach.
I buried my head in my hands and let the tears fall from my eyes. I felt someone put their arms around me
and I looked up in surprise. Mikey was hugging me. What-what whatever you did, everyone forgives y-y-
you, he said matter-of-factly.
Do you forgive me? I asked desperately.

The pain and heartache is so strong at this point. Mikey knows his brother did something bad, but loves him no
matter what. Its beautiful in such a morbid way. The pain that Gerard is going through is expressed so much
throughout this scene. It shows a lot of courage and strength to overcome his illness and admit that he did
something bad. After all, he could deny it and just pretend to be a visitor.
He froze and looked at me over the arms of one of the nurses. His eyes were open wide and I thought that
maybe he recognised me. Will you f-f-find my brother? he asked and narrowed his eyes at me. Hes a little
bit l-lost.

I nodded silently. Mikey looked satisfied. Bye.

Its such a heartbreaking scene. Gerard blames himself for Mikeys mental state, which in some case he might
as well. He broke his brother, just like he has his own broken mind.
Then Gerard is sent to a mental asylum for the Criminally Insane. Thats when Gerards paranoia, that he isnt
crazy, comes back and Jasper returns telling him about the spies that are situated in his new institution. Of
course Frank cant come with him.
I am here in Brock because I am a monster.
He destroyed his brother, he is being hunted. He is. Crazy. He know that. He knows things , remember?
Though he wont admit it.
I never had a single visitor. Ever. You know, I actually thought I was orphan with no family whod been left
in the care of the state. But all this time I was your son, and you never came to see me.
A theme of lonliness is carried throughout. Frank was lonely because his only friends raped him. Gerard was
lonely because he had no family, or friends. He just shows his anger and his hatred towards the worlds.
Besides. Gerard believes he his going to be killed soon, by THEM.
I fixed you, I say in disbelief.

Yes, Frank says quietly. Gerard, Im good. Im going to be okay.

He did what he wanted. He fixed Frank. Thats all he wanted, all he wanted was Frank to be okay. Frank WAS
going to be okay. He did it.
He also writes down one of his secrets in an envelope and gives it to Markman. It was the only way he could
save the world. If they got his secrets the world would end.
I fall again but this time I realised that Im not falling anymore; Im being pulled down. They are pulling me
down into the eternal darkness. My brain keeps pulling me back up but I know it cant keep it up forever.
Eventually my brain will give up. When that happens They will have me. Forever.

I smile to myself as I think of Frank. I think about him as that bungee cord finally snaps and I fall. This time I
know Im not going to jerk back up. My brain has given up. This time They have me. I know They have me. I
know Im not going to wake back up. Not this time. Not ever. I know it.

I know things.

Remember?

This is the point which your heart is ripped from your chest if it hasnt done already. The moment he dies. His
life. Ended. He knows things, remember? He knew that Frank loved him. He knew that he was going to be
okay. He knew he was crazy. He knew..

Frank kept his eyes trained down at the pieces of paper. He reread the words again as a knot began to form
in his stomach. At least you got to see him, Frank said quietly.
Markman suddenly realised her coffee had gone cold as she took a sip of it. She made a disgusted face and
set the Styrofoam cup back down, all the time trying to think of something tactful to say in reply to Franks
comment.
He knew, she said.
No he didnt, Frank said miserably.
Yes, he did. He knew you loved him.
But he never got to hear me say it. I never got.
Markman shook her head. He knew, Frank.
How?
He knew things,

Gerards paranoid schizophrenia meant that when his head was smashed against the table, the brain damage
that was already present had formed an aneurysm, the aneurysm burst causing him to have a stroke. The
paranoid Schizophrenia caused his mind to interpert it as them getting him, even though it was really his mind
breaking itself. He also had hallucinated Frank in the final chapter, so in reality he never actually got to see
Frank before he died. Frank never got to tell him that he loved him. Not get to tell him he was going to be okay.
But Gerards mind had already seen him and KNEW he loved him. He knew things, remember?

Overall I think A Splitting Of The Mind is one of my favourite fanfictions of all time. The writing style is great.
The plot is great. The emotions behind every line of writing honestly had me in tears. In fact, Im in tears right
now just thinking about it. There is no way that this couldnt win an award if this was a movie or a real book. I
couldnt find anything wrong with it. It keeps you thinking throughout. It takes your emotions on a rollercoaster
ride (Which is what a good story should do) Its one of those storys that you would hear about and not want
to read because :

A) you know its a sad ending and B) its about a mental asylum.

It took me over 5 months to finally work up the courage to read it, and Im so glad I did. Its worth it.
In fact, there is one thing wrong with it. The fact that you will not stop crying for days on end.