Gems Out of Sickness and Disease

Our one year struggle as a family started when my father was

hospitalized due to the first attack of COPD/Emphysema. From Manila,
we were informed that he was brought to a nearby hospital in San Jose
Nueva Ecija. Immediately after hearing the news, everybody tried to reach
the place.

When we saw him in the hospital, he could still sit, talk and even stand but
after a day when the doctor took his ABG (blood gas), he could not move at
all. He turned black and blue, grasping for his breath. We thought he will
die soon.

We had to do alternate substitution to the assigned nurses from

administering mechanical ventilator to help him breathed. It was indeed a
painful and fearful experienced because tears were flowing from my
father's eyes as he grasped for his breath. As my elder sister and me
pumped oxygen through the devise, we could not do anything but to pray
and cry. I even shouted from the nurse outside to assist me because I was
so disturbed that I might commit a mistake. It was an agony a traumatic
moment.

The doctor advised us to bring him home or to bring him to a hospital

where equipments are available. My mother waited for the arrival of my
eldest brother and left the decision to him. He decided to bring him to
Cabanatuan Premiere General Hospital. April 6, 2001 at around 10:30 P.M.,
an ambulance arrived.

We thought he was about to die then. His color turned violet, he had no
blood pressure, lying on a bed, semi - conscious grasping for a breath.

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Beginning that night of April 6, 20001 up to May 11, 2001 my father was
confined to ICU attached to the different apparatus.

Since our place in Munoz Nueva Ecija is still far from the hospital and
Manila is also farthest, we had to rent a room in the hospital for us to have
a place to stay. During the first two weeks, our room in the hospital was
air-con, changed to non air-con then to a boarding house outside the
hospital for cost cutting. Our bills range for almost 30,000 - 50, 000 a day.

The doctor tried to win him from using the respirator several times but it
was no avail. Without the help of respirator he could not breathe on his
own because of this, his stayed in the ICU was prolonged. We thought he
could not bear his situation in the hospital, that he wanted to rest already
for he always tried to remove the gadgets placed in his body such as
the oxygen tube, dextrose, NGT (Nasal Gastro-intestinal Tube) and other
paraphernalia. We decided to bring him out from the ICU to a private
room, pray for him and prepare him for his departure to wait for God to
take the breath He has given him.

My sister Marilyn & Josephine was against this process so I need to bring
them to my classmate/friend who specialized in bio - ethics medicine.
The doctor discussed to us the implications of the process and the
procedures to follow as we remove my father from the ICU.

When we left my friends house, they were convinced. However, after a few
more days my eldest sister protested. She was not ready to release my
father. She had reservation. She was waiting for a miracle to happen. She
insisted on the passage in God's word she meditated during her devotion
that says I will sustain him in his sick bed. She expressed her
disagreement on what we were planning to do that on May 1, 2001 my
father will be brought to a private room.

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Prior to this date, I already prepared the burial clothes of my father,
arranged his burial site and had an ocular visitation in the cemetery and
set-up things. An hour before the pastor arrived my eldest sister Marilyn
wrote a note on a piece of bond paper asking my father if he still want to
live that is to determine and find out his autonomy whether he will
agree with our plan to we bring him out from the ICU.

My sister Josephine & me brought the note to my father giving him

instruction to nod his head in agreement to what were written on pieces of
papers. My sister & me were in tears as we presented the notes / flashcards
to my father. To our surprised, he still wants to live. He was hurt by the
words written on a piece of papers.

When the Pastor arrived, he did not want to be prayed for. We were in a
dilemma because he still wants to live inspite of the hardships he
experienced at ICU. Our plan to bring him out from ICU to a private room
didnt materialized.

We had to pray harder for Gods appropriation. During these moments, we

could see Gods provisions. We noticed that every time our hospital bills
come. The money we needed to pay for the hospital bills arrived exactly
on the due dates of payment. It was my younger brother whom God
used to sustain our financial difficulties.

Finally, we decided to transfer my father to Manila. The doctor was

reluctant to allow his transfer for it will be very dangerous for him to travel.
He might die along the way. This gave us more days to think about.

I was task to look for a doctor at the Lung Center who will handle his
hopeless case. God is kind, through my doctor friend, I was able to get the

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best doctor who handle critical care patients. Praise God he accepted the
case of my father.

We were so happy then. But, we had to hurdle another problem that is; how
to transfer him from Premiere General Hospital to lung center against
medical advised.

A miracle happen at the ICU

May 5, 2001 on or about 1:00 clock P.M. after my oldest brother conferred
with my fathers doctor, he took a peek inside the ICU for it had become his
habit to always see that the diaphragms of the respirator is its usual up
and down motion. This time it was not. Since he knew then that my father is
in the weaning process, he strained to see if the blue tube coming from the
O2 tank is connected, to his dismay, it wasnt either. To make a closer look,
he entered the anteroom of the ICU and found out that the blue tube is
indeed not connected. It is coiled around the O 2 tank. The orange/yellow
light of the respirator was not lighted.

He hurriedly called the attention of one of the nurses inside who

immediately check the machine. From the door outside, he saw that she
switched on the machine but it did not start. Only when she checked /
moved the plug on the wall did the diaphragm, which is on its upper most
position, started to operate. What could have happened if my brother
didnt notice this? My fathers brain will be affected. He will become
vegetable.

The miracle which my eldest sister waiting instantly happened at the ICU.
This incident and other negligence observed at the ICU were reported to
the hospital administrator orally and in written. After a week his attending
physician allowed his released..

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He stayed at the Lung Center MICU for almost 2 weeks w/o respirator. Ox
meter was used afterwards he was transferred to a private room.
Tracheotomy was done to him. He was on a tube feeding. An oxygen tank
was permanently on his side. He looks like Christmas tree in his
appearance.

We noticed that almost all his batch mates in the 2 ICU'S died . He was
the only one who survive.

He was bound for home June 17, 2001. Prior to his released. I requested a
Pastor to pray for him. He stayed at Fairview for almost 1 week then
transferred to my house at Pasay.

At home, our battles and struggles were more intensified particularly when
the trained caregiver who look after him was gone. Dadang had to return to
the province because his father got sick, she has to help her mother in
looking after their household chores and the farm.

Since all of us are working, we took turns in looking after my father. More
often we had to be absent from our work, no one was exempted on the
assigned schedule as we waited for another caregiver/helper to come.

My father had to be fed every 4 hours. The preparation of his foods were
taxing His foods must be blended properly. I must admit that I committed
a grievous error in the preparation of his foods. His NGT was clogged
several times. This cause unforgettable trouble to us at the middle of the
night. He should be suctioned every 10 minutes. His urine bag must be
emptied every 20-30 minutes. Changed his diapers every now and then.
Put medication on his bedsores and many more.

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Each one took pain and sacrificially pour out his/her best to serve my
ailing father. My brothers and sisters imprinted a lasting memory in my
mind where I extracted gems that could only be taken and learned out of
this dark moments of our lives.

For my eldest brother: I remember the time he carried my father on his

arms. Sometimes he walked limply because of arthritis attacked. He was
the one in-charge to bring my father back to the hospital for his regular
check-up twice a month . Something memorable was that, every time he
placed my father back on his bed both of them are laughing and smiling.
My father could still find joy and smile painfully inspite of his agonizing
situation.

My vivid memory for my eldest sister Marilyn is that, she consistently hold
on to her faith that God will sustain my father in his sick bed. She did
not want to lose hope that God could still use the technology and
medicines to prolong the life of my father.

For Lynda, I will always remember her posture of kneeling besides my

father's bed, praying and reading God's word to comfort him and gave
him peace of mind.

For Josephine, her unselfish giving out of her self and resources to
personally attend to my father's needs, bathing, feeding , cleaning him,
unmindful of her own physical needs to sleep and rest because she has
to work the next day.

For Olivia, leaving her son to the province and bring her 6 month old
baby to Pasay to help us in attending to my father's needs.

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For my younger brother & his wifes support giving us encouraging words:
I remember those times when I panicked thinking of hospital bills, he
said, the reason why God brought me here (Europe) is because He knew
beforehand that we are going to have this kind of problem. Cast all your
worries to Him. When I heard this, it was like water that wash away my
anxieties.

For my mother's emotional strength in the midst of my fathers hopeless

situation. Her readiness to release my father in God's hand even in his
first month in the hospital. Her consistent stamina in the midst of
misunderstanding and moments of arguments among her children. She
cried a lot for these.

For me, my prayers and fasting were intensified. In my quiet questioning

above, during my private moments with Him. I asked God, why He
prolonged my fathers suffering. He will always told me, be still and know
that I am God
(Psalms 46:10).

He posted a watchmen & women on our wall. Several men and women of
God prayed for my father. With our gratitude to all of you.

He knew our situations. He provided us another caregiver who

demonstrated her care for my father more than we could do and gave him
as his children.

My father in his sick bed was teaching us his children the art of humility,
perseverance in the midst of testing, joy and humor in the midst of
suffering. Hope in hopeless situation. To be more caring and gracious
but the most important is to trust God in what He is doing for He has
an appointed and perfect time for each of us.

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He passed away last March 15, 2002 leaving us those gems. Our individual
question of why he suffers that long was answered during one of the
Necrological Services. It is intended for His purification.

The greatest consolation we have is the assurance that he is now in heaven

with the Lord. Before he died, he was able to renounce all his false beliefs,
been baptized in water in his sick bed and totally surrender himself to our
Savior Jesus Christ.

To GOD be the Glory: Dr. Cleofe C. Palac