Opinion

http://www.collegian.psu.edu/opinion/columnists/article_37f5861c-
67c1-11e7-93df-efcbb4e1ea.html

A simple guide to stopping sexual assault at

Penn State
Pete Olin | The Daily Collegian 6 hrs ago

We can do better, Penn State. Within ve days, there have been

three reported sexual assaults at Penn Statea frightening number
considering only a fraction of the student population is here. Last
semester, there were 27 reported sexual assaults. Calculated over
last semester, that averages about 1.6 sexual assaults per week. The
past week nearly doubled this rate.

These are only the assaults that have been reported. Anyone whos
done research on sexual assault knows the report rate of sexual
assaults is very low. Multiple local centers that help survivors, such
as the Centre County Womens Resource Center, have reported an
increase in sexual assaults in the past few years, although they
believe this is because report rates have gone up.

There is a still a long way to go. This article will focus on women, as
they are the group most likely to experience sexual assault, but its
important to note that sexual assault does not discriminate against
gender or sexuality. According to RAINN (Rape, Incest and Incest
National Network), one in 10 men experience sexual assault in their
lifetime. A CDC report focused this statistic, stating 26% of gay men
and 37% of bisexual men experience sexual assault. Rape is rape, it
can happen to anyone.

Roughly one in six women experience sexual assault in their lifetime.

Referring once more to the CDC report, they found that roughly
214,000 lesbian women (13%), 1.5 million bisexual women (46%), and
19 million heterosexual women (17%) have experienced sexual
assault. There are most likely many unreported assaults that are not
counted into these statistics.

Sexual assault by the numbers show a clear problem with our

attitudes towards sex. Many people imagine rapists as deranged
maniacs and certainly some of them are. But a majority of sexual
assaults are perpetrated by someone the survivor knows. The lines
dening sexual assault are black and white, but the context of a
situation is often gray. It can lead to uncertainty about what actually
occurred, even with the survivor.

Luckily, education initiatives have begun to help teach young people

about sex and how to properly gain consent. Im no expert by far,
but I can oer some basic rules about consent and safe sex. Many
college students know little to nothing about the topic and Penn
State does a minimal amount of education about it.

In response to this disgraceful week, here are some basic rules

about consent:

1. ALWAYS ASK TO DO SOMETHING SEXUAL

Sex is better when you know what your partner wants. Always ask
your partner, either verbally or explicitly nonverbally, if you can do
something. This is incredibly important for hook ups and edgling
couples, as communication might not be at its peak yet. Experienced
couples often understand one another enough to know whats okay
and whats not.
Conversely, if you dont want your partner to do something, tell them
to stop. There is no shame in stopping something youre not
comfortable with. Sex is a deeply personal venture, its absolutely
within your right to tell them to stop.

2. BE SURE YOU WANT TO HAVE SEX

Your body is a temple. While this phrase is a bit cheesy, it holds
merit. Its important to ask yourself if you want to have sex. Dont
have sex just because you can, have it because you want to. If it
disappoints your partner, thats ne. Dont feel guilty, because its
your body after all. Treat it fairly, dont let anyone else have a say in
it.

3. NO MEANS NO
This old adage will never cease to be relevant. If you dont want to
have sex, stop your partner from going any further. Many sexual
assaults are a result of one side not speaking up. Its scary to say no.
You dont want to reject your partner or disappoint them. But its
better to reject them than go through with something you dont want
to.

Conversely, if your partner says no, respect the hell out of it! No
means no, there is no way around it. Do not attempt to persuade
them and do not guilt them. If they said no once, theyre not in the
mood or space to have sex. Respect their decision, it is not yours to
make. Unlike picking a place to eat, persuasion has no place here. No
matter how badly you want to have sex, it is never okay to try and
overrule your partner if they say no. Think about what you are doing,
would it really be so enjoyable knowing your partner expressed they
dont want to do it?

4. COMMUNICATION MEANS EVERYTHING

Most of us learned about sex through word of mouth or
pornography. Many of us have no formal education on the topic and
are thus utterly clueless when we enter the bedroom. Because of
this, it can be awkward to talk about with anyone, even your partner.
You might nd yourself faltering or stuttering when saying certain
words. Communication ties in heavily with giving consent. If you and
your partner dont talk about sex, there is no easy way to have it.
Discuss it before and after as clear and honestly as possible. Not
only does it make sex better, it makes it safer.

5. YOU ARE NOT A PORN STAR

Speaking of pornography, dont even attempt to try the things you
see there unless you and your partner have discussed it. Most
pornography is over the top, gratuitous sex. Unfortunately, this is
often many young peoples rst exposure to sex, giving this glimpse
that sex should be this incredibly visceral experience.

Its not.

Turn down the dial, dont try to be a porn star. It can lead to very
unpleasant experiences, and in some cases, assault.

6. HEAVY DRINKING AND SEX DON'T MIX

Some couples love drinking and sex. Perhaps there is merit to a
romantic night with a few drinks and the bedroom afterwards.
However, heavy drinking and sex never mix. When you are drunk,
your judgement is impaired and you cannot properly express
yourself. A person cannot properly give consent when theyre drunk,
so its considered sexual assault if you have sex when either one of
you are drunk.

If you have any suspicion that someone is drunk, its best to avoid
sex no matter what they say. Its the alcohol speaking, not them. If
you wouldnt trust them at the wheel, dont trust them in bed, which
easily translates from dont drink and drive to dont drink and do it.
Given the nature of college, this is a common instance, so dont take
the risk. Wait until morning to see how your partner is feeling. If its a
hook up, avoid it and text them the next day. Sober sex rules
anyway.

The basic theme governing all these rules is simple: Always get
consent. Its not hard to get a yes or a no, and it completely avoids
the gray areas that often appear with certain cases in sexual assault.

Rape is a crime so perverse and crippling in nature, its profoundly

disappointing its so prevalent, especially here at Penn State. Three
reported assaults within a week is beyond sad and the week isnt
even over yet. Educate yourself.

Pete Olin is a senior majoring in print and digital journalism and political
science and is a columnist for The Daily Collegian. His email is
pno5004@psu.edu or follow him on Twitter at @PeteOlin.