4.

Section 4 -Abiliti necesare ntr-o mentorare transformatoare

The Skills of Transformational Mentoring

In P.L.A.C.E.S. Ce aduce mentorul ntr-o relaie de mentorareThe Gifts a

Mentor Brings to the Mentoring Relationship:

1. Prezena lui Hristos n viaa luiIncarnation the greatest gift you can bring to a Mentee,
and the foundation of all the gifts below, is to be abiding in Christ such that the Spirit of God
is fleshing out Jesus in you. This real sense of the presence of Jesus in your life as you are
humbly living in and out of the Gospel will be a winsome fragrance that draws others to Him
and to you.
2.

3. 2. O relaie de apropiere i dedicare Presence and Pursuit Persistent relational

proximity is the key to effective mentoring. It is the underpinning of all else we can be and
do for a mentee. Yet, like all good gifts, it has a price tag. Giving presence and pursuit
entails:

Setting aside my own personal agendas and concerns; unhinging myself from my own
pressing concerns and all that distracts.
Being open to divine interruptions/appointments.
Consistently taking the initiative to make contact (calls, e-mail, letters, appointments).
Working on the relationship. This means carving out and spending adequate time
together; working and playing together; being there at the pivotal moments of life to
process key decisions, celebrate successes, and mourn losses.
Faithfully praying for and reflecting upon the mentee between meeting times.
Being spiritually in fellowship with the Lord when we meet.
Doing my part to prepare for our times together (having reviewed my notes; not just
winging it).
Giving my undivided attention, listening well and bringing my curiosity to bear.

Section 4 Skills 1.0 Page 4 1 2003 MentorLink International

 3. Capacitatea de a asculta

4. Dare de socoteal

5. Devotament pentru a ajuta persoana mentorat s-i analizeze propria via folosind
ntrebri bune

6. ncurajare

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 7. Input spiritual

Level I Listening - is listening to you for me (how do your words impact my life). This
is shallow listening that is more focused on how I am going to answer than really
understanding. Often the result is an attempt to do a quick fix and the talker feels
patronized and unheard.
Level II Listening is listening that listens to you for you (the image of a mirror
reflecting back your thoughts so that we both can get to know you better). This kind of
listening helps both the speaker and listener come to a deeper understanding.
Level III Listening - is listening to you, for you and through you. It is hearing between
the lines. It is both active as well as empathetic. As a listener, I'm not only a mirror, but I
also have my curiosity /spiritual-insight antenna up. I'm noticing how you respond to my
questions; what you say and don't say; your body language; your countenance, etc. Im
prayerfully listening for your passions; your moods; your longings; your motives, what
you avoid, etc.

Some guidelines for Levels II & III listening:

Listen well; concentrating on whats hes
saying, not saying; body language, attitude
Echo back both the emotion as well as the
content of what he is sharing.
Ask yourself, What is he feeling behind
what hes saying?
Ask questions that draw out; rather than
make statements that close off. Yet dont ask
so many questions that he feels grilled and
becomes defensive.
Be very slow to give advice. It is far better to
facilitate the mentee coming up with his
own counsel.
Section 4 Skills 1.0 Page 4 3
Listening Exercise:
Take turns with your partner
sharing about some emotional
event of your childhood (e.g.,
My favorite pet as a child
was). Practice empathetic
listening to each other. Debrief
one another after sharing:
How did the listener apply
the five guidelines above?
As the one who shared,
did you feel listened to? If
not, why not?
Did you feel understood?
2003 MentorLink International
 Listen well; concentrating on whats hes saying, not saying; body language, attitude
Echo back both the emotion as well as the content of what he is sharing.
Ask yourself, What is he feeling behind what hes saying?
Ask questions that draw out; rather than make statements that close off. Yet dont ask
so many questions that he feels grilled and becomes defensive.
Be very slow to give advice. It is far better to facilitate the mentee coming up with
his own counsel.

8. Accountability being available to hold the mentee to account for Gods agenda (not mine)
in his life. We all need someone in our life who loves us well; who will ask us the tough
questions; to whom we have made ourselves answerable for growth and ministry
performance. In healthy, biblical mentoring relationships, such accountability must never be
abused, yet the truth remains that we cant expect what someone doesnt inspect.

Kingdom Focused the agenda is for the mentee to reach his goals for growth and
ministry in Christ ; not the mentors goals. The operable questions are, What does God
want for you? Do you want what God wants?
Voluntary it is based on freedom in Christ. There is no room here for control,
manipulation or coercion in any form. The operable question by the mentor is, How do
you want me to hold you accountable for your growth goals? Yet, if the mentee fails to
meet his goals, the mentor should ask, What kept you from doing what you promised?
Realistic a mentor does not have to be omni-competent. His accountability role will
often be to link the mentee up with other resources as needed (tapes, book, counselors,
experiences, other mentors, etc.). Still his inspection role is still vital for change.
Flexible any healthy relationship must grow up over time. Healthy termination and/or
transition needs to be talked about from the beginning. Mentees must have the freedom
to become peer mentors. The mentor must be careful to not build are allow unhealthy
dependencies or paternalism in the relationship. See Equipping and Releasing below.

NOTE: A good tool with which to launch accountability in a non-threatening way is the Life
Fulfillment Inventory (see Appendix F). With this one looks at the various areas of life (social,
family etc.) and gives each a 1-10 score based on how satisfied and fulfilled he/she is in each areas
(you could also utilize the 13 relational areas of the MentorTrek model in this). You then have them
look at several of the low scoring areas and ask, "What would a 10 look like?" Then ask, "Is this
realistic? What can you do to move from here to there in your life?"

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Section 4 Skills 1.0 Page 4 5 2003 MentorLink International
9. Curiosity creatively exploring together the mentees life by asking powerful questions to
get him to think deeply about his life.

This adds a sense of adventure to the process: What is the Ephesians 2:10 masterpiece that God
has created you him to be?
It encourages him greatly that someone cares about him, as a mentee, enough to go exploring
with him regarding his life.
It helps the mentee to 'kick the sides out of his/her rut.' We can bring a caring outsiders
perspective to his life. As Christians, we have the Holy Spirit with us as a guide on this adventure
(hence the tie in with Gift #76 below)

NOTE: Powerful Questions are open-ended questions that evoke clarity, action, discovery,
insight and/or commitment. They cant be answered with, Yes or No. They often are not
polite questions and sometimes seem to be the dumbest of questions (e.g., the mentee has
just made some strong assertion about his life; and the mentor responds with a jarring, So
what?) Why? is not a good powerful question . It is too threatening and may come across
as questioning motives. It is better to ask How? and What? questions. For example,
Why did you do that? can be more powerfully replaced with, What did you hope to
accomplish by doing that? or, How was that going to help?

10. Encouragement being the cheer leader that gives refreshing hope along the way. We all have an
over abundance of critics. We all would love to have more cheer leaders. This doesnt preclude asking
the hard questions or confronting obvious sin or self deception. It does mean that our
affirmation/critique ratio needs to be greatly increased. It means:

Applauding even the little steps of growth the mentee takes.

Working hard at finding something to legitimately praise.
Being supportive and optimistic about the mentees life.
Giving him the freedom to fail. Not writing off or giving up on him or your relationship.
In the context of a relational safe place, seeing beyond the rough edges and failings and
deliberately calling Jesus out of the mentee.

11. Spiritual Insight becoming a resource person for bringing Truth to bear in his growth process
including the roles of prayer, Bible study, dependence on the Holy Spirit and His gifts, 'hunches', even
intuitive sixth-sense type insight. This gift is employed in

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 Facilitating Bible discussion consistently drawing the mentee back to the Scriptures for
answers? Look at Appendix D for practical wisdom in how to use the Bible as a mentoring tool.
Listening deeply and perceptively to what God is doing and saying to get a sense of His direction
in the mentees life.

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 Being attune to wisdom, common sense and those intuitive gut-level hunches that sometimes
appear on ones radar screen.
Trusting the role of the Holy Spirit in mentoring - trusting the heavenly mentor, who was sent to
us by Jesus, to give us deep insight into the mentees life.
The role of prayer in mentoring. Scripture is clear that we have not because we ask not. If we
are clueless as to what God is doing in a person, perhaps we need to ask.
Any of the insights a mentor gets into a mentees life, always have to be explored and verified in a
sensitive way. One doesnt blurt out, "God told me this is your issue!" Rather you can use wording
such as, "Is it possible that this is what is going on here?" Again, powerful questions are a wonderful
vehicle for expressing the fruits of this gift/skill.

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Cum s formezi o inim de mentor n persoanele mentorateHow to
Draw out the Heart of the mentee

Roag-te pentru cele pe care le mentorezi!

Pray! The task of life change is a humanly impossible task. Only God can do such deep work
in the hearts of people. This is why we need to bathe our mentoring in much prayer.

nva-le cum s fie transparente i vulnerabile

How does living
Model transparency. Be appropriately vulnerable with him out of out the Gospel
your own life. This invites vulnerability on his part and leads to an enable us to be
environment thats safe and freeing. transparent with
others about our
weaknesses?
Affirm mai mult dect critic more than critique (n proporie de 5
tola 1 ratio). Work hard at finding things with which to honestly build him up.

Fii o asculttoare bun. ine cont de urmtoarele sugestii

Practice Levels II & III listening using these these guidelines:

Listen well;Concentreaz-te att asupra a ceea ce spune ct i asupra a ceea ce nu

spune; urmrete limbajul trupului, atitudinea, etc. concentrating on whats hes
saying, not saying; body language, attitude.
Sumarizeaz i repet ceea ce i s-a mprtit (reflect napoi) att sentimentele
exprimate ct i coninutul comunicatEcho back both the emotion as well as the
content of what he is sharing.
Ask yourselfntreab-te ce sentiment se ascunde n spatele a ceea ce a fost spus,
What is he feeling behind what hes saying?.
Pune ntrebri care creaz deschidere. Ai grij s nu pui prea multe ntrebri, pentru
ca persoana s nu se simt ca i la interogatoriu i s devin defensivAsk questions
that draw out; rather than make statements that close off. Yet dont ask so many
questions that he feels grilled and becomes defensive.
Rezist tentaia de a da sfaturi. Este mult mai bine s ajui persoana mentorat s
trag singur concluziiBe very slow to give advice. It is far better to facilitate the
mentee arriving at his own conclusions.

Listening Exercise:

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 ntrete i pstreaz ncrederea n relaia voastr prinBuild and maintain trust in your
relationship by:
Keeping confidences.Pstrarea confidenialitii.
Not violating personal boundaries without invitationRespectarea limitelor pe care
persoana mentorat le impune n ceea ce privete deschiderea ei fa de tine.

Section 4 Skills 1.0 Page 4 10 2003 MentorLink International

 Privete dincolo de modul de comportare la motive. Look beyond behavior to motive. Keep
asking yourself, Why did he do what he did? But, when it becomes appropriate to ask the
mentee, try to avoid the WHY question since it may come across as judging motives.
Instead use WHAT and HOW; e.g. What did you hope to accomplish in doing that?; or,
How did you anticipate that turning out?
Privete dincolo de motive la idolii ce stau n spatele lor.

Look beyond motive to underlying idolatries. Ask yourself:

Rather than trust God to meet his deepest needs, what idols (people, places,
situations, substances etc.) is he pursuing to make his life work?
What lies has he believed due to painful experiences in his past? Example:
My father was an abusive alcoholic so I cannot trust anyone in authority!
What vows did he make at that time of pain? Example: I will never let myself get
into a close relationship again so I wont have to suffer like this!
NOTE: The Life Mapping Exercise, in Lesson 3, is helpful for beginning to address
these issues. Work this exercise together or in a small group context.
Who in his past has he not forgiven for the harm they did him? Has he forgiven
himself? Has he forgiven God for allowing it to happen?
The worship of such idols can lead to addictive or obsessive behavior (alcohol,
work, drugs, sex, people-pleasing, pleasure-seeking, even ministry) since it takes
more and more of the medication to satisfy the thirsty soul (Jeremiah 2:13).

Cum i-au fost afectate relaiile de aceast form de idolatrie? How has his idolatry
damaged his relationships? Example: An obsessive engagement with work or
ministry may be doing serious harm to his relationships with wife and children. Poi
folosi cele 13 domenii de relaionare din diagrama MentorTrek pentru a face
evaluarea. You can use the 13 relational areas of the MentorTrek model as a mental
check list in this damage assessment.

n lumina a ceea ce-i descoper Dumnezeu, identific problemele principale care ar fi de

dorit ca persoana mentorat s ncerce s le rezolve. Pune ntrebri bune pentru a o ajuta s
identifice i s recunoasc aceste probleme. In light of the insight that God gives you,

Section 4 Skills 1.0 Page 4 11 2003 MentorLink International

 identify the core issue that it would be helpful for the mentee to work on. Asking powerful
questions can get the mentee to begin to face these issues.

Atunci cnd i se pare un moment potrivit, ncearc s aduci persoana mentorat la punctul n
care recunoate c are acea problem.Confirm this issue with the mentee at an appropriate
time. Pe msur ce ncerci s faci asta, nu uita: cu ct persoana este mai reinut n a admite
problema, cu att mai indirect trebuie s fie abordarea ta. Cu ct persoana este mai deschis,
cu att mai directe pot fi ntrebrile pe care le pui. As you probe, remember: the more
resistant a person is to facing this issue, the more indirect your inquiry needs to be. The more
open he is, the more direct you can be.

Folosete studiul biblic pentru a adresa problemele de caracter. Use Bible study in
addressing the heart issue (see the next page)

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Cum s foloseti Biblia n mentorareHow to use the Bible in
mentoring

Studiai Biblia mpreunStudy the Bible Together: Biblia este ca o oglind care reveleaz coninutul
inimii noastreDo self-discovery Bible study together with your mentee on a consistent basis. The
Bible is like a mirror that reveals our heart issues. - James Iacov 1:22-25

nva persoana mentorat s se hrneasc singurTeach Him How to Feed Himself: Coach him
in hearing God speak to him utilizing a simple inductive study on a paragraph or section of Scripture.
This can be done individually or as part of a small group. ncepe prin a citi un paragraf de cteva ori
ntr-o atitudine de rugciune Ia notie n timp ce mediteziBegin by prayerfully reading a
paragraph of the Bible several times. First read it aloud together. Then read it silently several more
times writing down reflections on the following:
Observation Observaie - Vezi ce spuneSee it! What does the passage say? Note the
details; the context; the words used. As in medicine, accurate observation always precedes
solid diagnosis (interpretation). Use an English dictionary to define terms that are unclear.
Dont rush this step. Our natural tendency is to read things into the Bible versus letting the
Bible speak for itself.

Interpretation Interpretare - Understand itnelege ce spune! What does the passage

mean? What did it mean to the original readers? Do I understand it so that I can state the big
idea or principle(s) of the passage? Could I paraphrase the paragraph in my own words? If
not, go back to observe some more. A tool like a Bible Dictionary can be helpful to shed light
on Biblical concepts. Look at other translations to see how they rendered the paragraph.

Application Aplicaie - Triete-lLive it!: What does this passage mean to me? To my
group? My community? What is God saying about Himself? Life? Me? Think through the 13
relational areas of the MentorTrek model: which relationships do these verses touch on? Is
there a Sin to confess and forsake? Is there a relationship to reconcile? Is there an attitude to
deal with? What new step of obedience should I take? What change in life direction is God
urging me to make?

Apply Scripture to Areas of NeedAplic Scriptura la domeniile de cretere urmrite: As you help
your mentee assess what are the priority issues in his life, you can become more focused on what
portions of Scripture you will study together. F studii biblice tematice. Such focused study often is
best done as part of a small study group with each person doing their own homework then bringing
their results together for group dialogue.

Alege un domeniu de cretere.Articulate one key issue; stating it as clearly as possible as a

question to be answered.

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 Identific pasaje din Scriptur care se refer la tema studiat.y key scriptures that address
this issue. Tools like a Concordance or Naves Topical Bible can be helpful in finding relevant
passages.

Studiaz aceste pasaje n detaliu, n contextul lor, rugndu-te pentru nelepciuney these
passages thoroughly in context; prayerfully seeking Gods wisdom.

Folosete alte surse de informaie din domeniul respectiv (oameni specializai, cri, casete,
etc.)Utilize outside resources that address this issue (key people, books, tapes, seminars
etc.).

Sumarizeaz n scris ceea ce Dumnezeu i-a descoperit n timpul studiuluiDistil, in

writing, the answer(s) to the issue question that God has given through your study.

Ajut persoana mentorat s conceap un proiect de aplicaie care o va ajuta s creasc prin
credin i ntr-o atitudine de pocin n acel domeniu al vieii cretineHelp your mentee
design an application project that will help him take faith steps of repentance in this area of
his life.

Ajut-o s se integreze ntr-o structur care s o ajute s creasc (prin rugciune, ncurajare, dare de
socoteal, etc.) Cel mai adesea o asemenea structur este oferit de ctre un grup mic de cretere
spiritual. Help him structure for his growth support (prayer, encouragement, accountability, etc.). This,
again, is often best provided in a small group context of caring, Christian community.

ExerciseExerciiu: Practic ntr-un grup mic metoda inductiv de studiu pe pasajul aflat n 2
Timotei 3: 16-17, care se refer la cuvintele apostolului Pavel adresate ucenicului su, Timotei.
In a small group practice the inductive study method on the words of Paul to his mentee,
Timothy, found in II Timothy 3:16-17

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HCum s echipezi i s ajui persoana mentorat s-i ia zborulow to Equip
and Release: pentru a ndeplini lucrarea pe care Dumnezeu i-a ncredinat-o
Releasing your mentee into the Ministry for which God has Prepared Him:
To see spiritual multiplication take place, mentees must be mentored and released to move into
their ministry calling from God. Often, like Barnabas, we are led to mentor folks, like Saul of
Tarsus, who may have more gift and potential than we. God wants us to hoist them onto our
shoulders and at an appropriate time, release them for all that He has for them. As in the case of
Barnabas and his mentee, you and your mentee may be team mates in ministry. In their case,
Saul was under Barnabas leadership until God made it clear that Saul, renamed Paul, should be
the leader.

This can be very threatening to us as a mentor or to existing ministry leadership since it is

difficult to let go of a ministry for which we have sacrificed much. But we must move beyond
our own personal longing for significance and dare to do the New Testament thing of mentoring
others to succeed to the fullest. In so doing, we will truly succeed in Gods eyes.

ase principii ale unui proces de echipare i eliberare pentru lucrareSix Principles of an
Equip and Release Process:
1. Value Preuiete persoana mentorat nc de la nceputul relaiei voastrethe mentee highly
from the very beginning of your relationship:
Privete dincolo de defectele sale la pasiunile, darurile i potenialul pe care le are.See
beyond his flaws to his passions; his gifts; his potential.
Caut s vezi ce poi nva tu de la ea mentoraraea este ntotdeauna un proces de
nvare reciproc. Look for what you personally can learn from him mentoring is
always a two-way street.
Dezvolt o viziune despre modul n care Dumnezeu va folosi acea persoan pentru
multiplicarea lucrrii mpriei Sale. Develop a vision for how God will use him to
multiply His Kingdom work.
Numai cu asemenea convingeri de baz referitoare la relaia de mentorare vei putea avea
curajul s riti s plteti costul de a-i turna viaa ntr-o alt persoan. Mai mult chiar, o
asemenea atitudine i va uura sentimentul de pierdere pe care-l vei simi atunci cnd vine
vremea ca s lai persoana mentorat s-i ia zborul i tu s te retragi din viaa ei. Only
with such core convictions going into a mentoring relationship, will you dare to risk the cost
of pouring your life into another. Even more, it will ease the sense of loss you will feel when
you come to that time when you must let go and get out of the way.

Section 4 Skills 1.0 Page 4 15 2003 MentorLink International

2. Implic persoana mentorat n lucrare mpreun cu tine de la nceput. Gsete ceva ce ea
poate s fac din prima zi chiar. Aplic urmtoarea regul de baz: nu f n locul ei nici unul
din lucrurile pe care le poate face singur. nvolve him in the ministry with you from the very
beginning. Find something for him to do from day one. Your rule should be: dont do for him
what he himself can do.

3. Instriete persoana mentorat s devin o mentor aa cum eti

tu i s continue s fac lucrarea de mentorare. Train him how to Moment de
do what you do and to be what you are. Be continually working
yourself out of a job. With training, your mentee may actually be reflectareReflection:
able to do the work of ministry better than you can. Employ a
simple process of on-the-job-training giving them a START: Gndete-te la aceste
ase principiiThink
through these six
principles of Equipping
and Releasing.
Arat-i cum s fac (fii un model)
Care dintre ele sunt
Show him how to do it (modeling) as youSpune-i cum s puncte tari ale

fac (instruiete-o referitor la ceea ce trebuie s tie n termeni pe care-i poate nelegeTell
him how to do it (instruction in what he needs; in terms he understands)

D-i ansa s ncerce singur s lucrezeAllow him to try it on his own

Evalueaz rezultatele sale, oferindu-i posibilitatea de a ncerca din nou, pentru a-i
mbunti performanaReview his results, allowing him to retry it again as necessary to
master the task
Las-o s-i ia zborul odat ce a neles ce are de fcutTurn him loose once he has gotten it

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4. Aplaud-o. Fii admiratoarea ei cea mai nfocat. Asigur-te c ea primete creditul pentru
succesul lucrrii pe care o face. Rezist nevoia de a te scoate pe tine n eviden i las-o pe ea
s fie n centrul ateniei. Strduiete-te ca n mod continuu s descoperi lucruri noi pe care le
face bine. Afirmarea primit din partea mentorei i admiraia pe care aceasta i-o arat sunt
lucruri care motiveaz intens persoana mentorat. Applaud him. Be his biggest fan; his
cheerleader. Make sure he gets credit for success. Resist the urge to make yourself look good.
Put him into the spotlight instead. Work hard at finding him doing things right. Affirmation
and applause are highly motivating to people.
5.

6. Desprinde-te de ea i retrage-te din calea ei. ncepe prin a practica o neglijare benign
atunci cnd se poate. La nceput persoana mentorat s-ar putea s aib reineri n a-i asuma
povara lucrrii, mai ales atunci cnd tu eti prin preajm. Dendat ce-i dai seama c poate
face singur lucrarea, aranjeaz-i alte activiti care s te oblige s dispari de pe scena
vieii ei. Dumanii pe care trebuie s-i nfruni i s-i nvingi n aceast etap sunt atitudinile
de: Let go and get out of the way. Practice benign neglect when appropriate. At first your
mentee may be unwilling to carry the ministry load; especially as long as you are around.
Once you feel he is able to do so, engineer another obligation that takes you off the scene.
Some enemies that you must face and defeat this crucial stage in the process are attitudes of:
Protectionisme How will he ever get along without meCum se va putea descurca
fr mine?
Perfectionism Nobody can do this ministry as well as I canNimeni nu poate face
lucarea aa bine ca mine!
Posseessiveuness This is my ministry after alln definitive, aceasta este lucrarea
mea!

Nu uita: scopul urmrit este acela de a transfera lucrarea de mentorare celor pe care le
mentorezi i altor lidere n formare! With you gone, he will flourish and see God use him.
Remember, the ultimate goal is to transfer total ownership of the ministry to him and other
emerging leaders.

Slujete-o din umbr. Dei nu mai ocupi un loc central n viaa celei pe care ai mentorat-o,
niciodat nu trebuie s o abandonezi. Dac i-ai fcut treaba bine, vei continua s avei o
prietenie de durat i i vei pstra autoritatea spiritual asupra ei. Ea ns este aceea care are
poziia de autoritate n lucrare n continuare. Rolul tu este acela de supraveghere n dragoste
asemntor cu rolul apostolilor din primul secol de a fi o surs de slujire i sftuire pe
care noile lidere n formare s se poat baza; cineva care...

7. Serve him in the background. However, you mustnt ever abandon him. You will have, if
you have mentored properly, an ongoing friendship as well as spiritual authority with him.

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 But he must own the ministry line authority. Your role is one of watchcarelike that of the
first century apostlesa role of being a trusted servant resource to emerging leaders who
Se roag pentru elePrays for them;
Le ncurajeazEncourages them;
Mentors them as a peerLe mentoreaz de pe o poziie de egalitate;
Advises them when they have questionsLe d sfaturi atunci cnd au ntrebri care le
frmnt;
Visits periodically, but who isSt de vorb periodic cu ele, dar totodat le las pe ele
s fac lucrarea care de-acum este n minile lor.
Generally off the scene so the new leaders can run with the ministry that is now
theirs.

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 Cum s evaluezi relaia ta de mentorareHeart Issues: The
Key To Evaluating Your Own Mentoring Relationships

ntrebrile pe care trebuie s i le pun mentorul:Mentors heart questions

Sunt gata s m ncred n Dumnezeu c El ar putea transforma persoana pe care o
mentorez n cineva de care eu mi-a dori s fiu mentorat (n cineva care m va depi n
multe privine)Am I willing to trust God for the person I am mentoring to some day be
able to mentor you (go beyond you in many ways)?
Caut s descopr n aceea pe care o mentorez domeniile unice n care ea este cea mai
bunAm I looking for the area of genius in another person that which they do uniquely
well?
Sunt gata s creez oportuniti de lucrare pentru persoana pe care o mentorezAm I willing
to create ministry opportunities for this person?
Sunt gata s slujesc aceast persoan i s o ajut s exceleze n ceea ce face chiar dac
alege s fac ceva diferit dect ceea ce cred eu c ar trebui fcut sau dect fac eu
nsmiAm I willing to serve this person and see them excel even if they dont do as I
think or what I am doing?
Sunt eu o slujitpare a mpriei sau n cuvintele apostolilor Petru i Pavel, o roab a lui
HristosAm I a Kingdom player or in Paul and Peters words, a Bond Servant of
Christ?
Concentrez atenia celor din jurul meu (i n special a persoanelor pe care le mentorez)
asupra lui HristosAm I focusing the attention on Christ?
Sunt gata s fac parte i altora din ceea ce am dobndit n domeniile n care eu sunt
puternicAm I willing to offer to others my strengths?
Sunt gata s mprtesc altora din slbiciunile meleAm I willing to share with others my
weaknesses?

Mentees ntrebrile pe care trebuie s i le pun persoana mentorat:heart

questions

n ce domenii pot s am ncredere n mentora meaWhere can I trust my mentor?

n ce domenii pot s nu am ncredere (nu pot s am ncredere) n mentora meaWhere can
I not trust my mentor?
Urmrete persoana care m mentoreaz s mplineasc scopurile ei personale sau ale
organizaiei pe care o reprezintIs my mentor driving his own personal or organizational
agenda?

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 Care sunt slbiciunile mentorei mele pot s nv de la ea i poate s m ajute s cresc
n ciuda lorWhat are my mentors weaknesses -- can I still learn and grow from him
anyway?
Simt libertatea de a fi transparent fa de mentora mea creaz ea o atmosfer
predominat de har sau de dorina de performanDo I feel freedom to be transparent with
my mentor -- is this an environment of grace or performance?
M ajut s nv de la Hristos i s-mi concentrez atenia asupra LuiAm I learning from
Christ and is my attention focused on Him??

Limiting Mentori care te limiteazs

Ceiling Mentora tavan -- nu poi crete la o nlime mai mare dect eayou cant go
higher than him.
Self-serving Mentora care urmrete realizarea propriilor planuri -- n mod evident i
covritor conduce persoana mentorat n direcia dorit de eaovertly or covertly steers
the mentee toward his agenda.
Protective Mentora protectoare -- nu-i va acorda libertatea s-i asumi riscuri sau s ai
eecuriwill not allow you to risk or fail.
Bottle-neck Mentora barier -- creaz bariere n anumite domenii, iar dac nu poi trece
peste ele nu poi continua procesul de mentoraretes a bottle-neck on a few issues, if you
cant get beyond these, you cant go on.
Directive Mentora care direcioneaz -- caut s-i controleze n mod discret alegerile pe
care le faci i aciunile talewill micro-manage your choices and actions.
Passive Mentora pasiv -- evit s ia iniiative care s te impulsioneze s acioneziwill
not take initiative on your behalf.
Big-pitcher Mentora enciclopedie deine toat cunotina i vrea s o toarne n
persoana mentorat-- has all the goods and wants to fill your cup.
Contract MentorMentora cu abordare de tip contract -- ateapt rezultate din partea ta
n schimbul ajutorului pe care i-l dexpects performance for help.

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Questions for reflection:

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Mentoring in an Organization

Some observationsGeneral Observations:

Mentoring at skill and knowledge levels can be programmed to some degree.

Mentoring at a heart level cannot be programmed; it is relational and organic and not essentially
program driven..Mentoring at skill and knowledge levels can be programmed.
Mentoring as we understand it, is a mindset.a mindset of Pass it On!
A few in your organization either have this mindset already or get it quickly because their
hearts have long resonated with the Biblical patterns of leadership, disciple-making and
mentoring. Yet they have seldom been encouraged or given permission to aggressively
carry out this ministry of leadership development within their organization.
Some in your organization, will never get it because they are hung up on the left side of
the Transformational Leadership Goal Chart (page 2-6). For very personal and
compelling reasons they will play it safe and not boldly initiate Kingdom ventures in the
power of the Gospel by serving, equipping and releasing others in community.
Many in your organization can get it when the following inducements are put in place:
Permission Given - Transformational Mentoring is passionately owned , valued and
promoted at the top levels of organizational leadership.
Modeling it is modeled by the senior leadership; i.e. they are actually mentoring
and being mentored. If it is merely a program that they delegate to others to carry
out, then the long term impact on the organization will be minimal.
Case Study: Rev. C.B. Samuels pastor in Chennai, India and the impact he has had on Christian
leadership around the world.
Training the spiritual and relational skills of Transformational Mentoring need to
be transmitted through regular training events that motivate and equip the
members of the organization to be more effective
Rewards the organization honors, encourages and rewards what it truly values
most. If the affirmation systems of the institution are not rewired sufficiently
such that people are honored and promoted for building leaders through
mentoring, then most will, by default, gravitate toward those institutional
activities that are so rewarded.

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Share experBrainstorm Togetheriences of mentoring from your organizational
background.:
What is your experience regarding mentoring in organizations in which you have served?

Were there sufficient leaders to fill the needs of the organization as it grew and developed?
Why/why not?

Was grass roots leadership development taking place? Why/why not?

What/who was responsible for any successes that you saw in this area?

What hindered the organization from being more successful at mentoring?

If you were the person in charge, what could you do to make your organization one that is
known far and wide as a mentoring organization? Be Specific:

Section 4 Skills 1.0 Page 4 23 2003 MentorLink International