Kim 1

Mary Kim

Intersection of Being a Queer Christian

I interviewed two individuals who identified as being queer and Christian. J is 28 years

old and identifies as being cisgender and bisexual. D is 48 years old who has a muscle disability

and identifies as being gender queer transmasculine. He was born in a female body and is in the

process of transitioning to a male body. The term genderqueer is his way for him to give himself

the fluidity of not having to fit within a specific binary in terms of his physical appearance and

sexuality1. With these two individual, I wanted to look beyond the dominant narrative that is

presented that religion and queer identities are at opposition with each other and to learn about

these peoples experiences to demonstrate the complexity of the relationship as Christianitys

response to the question of homosexuality have been more complicated than is commonly

recognized (OBrien, 240).

The concept of gay marriage is relatively new and social movements seeking civil rights for

gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered (GLBT) persons have been mobilized more

1 5.)So in terms of queer, I dont think I need to break it down any further. Like Im not straight, therefore Im
queer. But beyond that, some people get into all these labels like being asexualno I dont care that much. I am just
queer. I mean I guess I am asexual and pansexual but to me that sounds very clinical so I like reclaiming the word
queer since I am forty something so when I was a kid that was a bad term so now I am reclaiming it. So I am making
it a positive term for us. So by using it more often as a way to normalize it?
Yeah, pretty much. The gender had to be more broken and clinical because Ive seen a doctor for this stuff. Well its
that or testosterone off the street so genderso genderqueer transmasculine. I identify as male. My pronouns are he
him. I also dont pass as male. Like I dont look male to a normal personI shouldnt say a normal person, but to a
random stranger on the street, I dont look like a guy because my body is very feminine and the work I have to do to
overcome that is not work I am willing to put in right now. Also I am in school and stuff like that. So I will tell
people, My name is Dwayne and my pronouns, and they just have to adjust from there. But I still get people who
say, Oh Dwayne, shes over there, I am just like, Okay. Fine. So some people ignore the maleness of my name
and think Im a girl with a mans name, which sure exceptbut some trans people are really reallypassing is
really important to them, but to me its like not that much because I have more pressing details in my life like with
school and all that.
So is this how you identified yourself?
Yeah, thats how I identified myself. Well I my doctor identifies me to FtM and they need that so I can get my things
like testosterone. By I mean I like this because it isnt as binary because I will never end up looking like a cis man
and thats okay.
So your identify is your way of being more flexible?
Yeah, pretty much.
 Kim 2

prominently around issues of nondiscrimination, against police harassment, hate crimes, and HIV

prevention and mitigation (Sherkat). However, some churches, such as the church J attended,

did use marriage as something. J shares that she was not allowed to go on a mission trip for her

trip because of her identity as being queer was against religions beliefs (See Transcript#1, #3).

When she fell out with the church, J faced larger issues of not having a home and turning to

drugs and alcohol because she had no other form of support to go to. In regards to the religious

stance on gay marriage, Bornstein states that [l]esbian and gay leaders must cease being self-

obsessed and take into account the very real damage thats perpetrated on people who are more

than simply lesbian women and/or gay men, more than bisexual or transgender even (Bornstein,

13). Bornstein seems to raise the point that the drive of LGBTQ movements is not binary in the

sense that everything can be solved by allowing access to marriage, and that leaders must look at

the larger picture of and understand how these different movements can fit into this grander idea

of everyone being a human being. This raises the idea to look beyond the peoples sexuality and

look at the intersectional identities of the individual.

Despite the churchs stance on queer identities, the church acted as a community where

the people who identify as being queer could find support and comfort. Both interview

participants actively sought out a church to attend and to maintain their religion as something

being part of their life. For instance, J actually identified more strongly as being a Christian and

stated that there are other aspects of her identity that are more important to her than being queer

and that it was difficult for her to really connect with the queer communities because she did not

feel as accepted than when she was accepted into her Christian community2. It is important to

2 2.)But now in Seattle I feel like its so normal to be queer in the most part and not only that but theres so many
different ways now to be queer, gay, or whatever words you want to useeven saying that youre queer doesnt
mean one thing. And I alsoI dont feelwhat binds communities together is that they are sort of outsiders to the
normal society or that they experience persecution from others and in Seattle, that is not necessarily the case. I mean
I think for trans people for sure, but not for cis, queer so much so theres not that unifying force for what I would
consider to be a community. Or what would make me feel like I am part of a community. So are you saying that
 Kim 3

note that the community that they find at church is not just a place where they practice their

religion but [c]ongregations are a form of community wherein members seek meaning,

belonging and a sense of engagement and purpose. To this extent, congregational dynamics, like

all community dynamics, reflect the complex and often contradictory sensibilities of the

collective membership (Brien, 239). Through J and D interviews, they shed light to the

complexities of being part of community and their experiences broke away from the notion of

finding solace in a church that accepted and welcomed their queer identity. D mentions that he

knew about the church had an anti-gay stance and was okay with because a lot his churches

emphasized more on issues other than gay marriage3.

because you dont identify as the mainstream queer its hard for you to find a community? Is that what youre
saying?
No its just that I do identify as mainstream queer but like other people who I have met here who are queer, I dont
automatically gravitate towards them and think, Oh youre one of me because were both queer. Whereas a lot of
people I feel like do that.
Why?
Why do I feel that way? I just think that there are other facets of my personhood that are more important to me and
define me better than just my being queer. Yeah, I guess thats it.
So what other facets?
Well by being a spiritual person. Being Christian. I am also a recovering alcoholic so I think that being an AA, I
identify way more people who are AA than perhaps other queers. And theres other ways I would describe myself in
terms of community. I don't feel like I really fit in here in the Seattle Queer community because what I've
experienced doesn't really meet my standards of a community at all. For me a community is a group of people who
share something in common and love each other unconditionally, look out for each other, and take care of each
other. My "gold standard" of a community was the LDS (Mormon) community where I always felt taken care of and
accepted, where people would put aside their selfish desires to serve others. The AA (Alcoholics Anonymous)
community has been like this in my experience as well. Being around queer people in Seattle is completely different
- it is less like a community and more like the stereotype of high school, where the emphasis is more on partying
than deep and loving relationships, and people tend to be petty, cliquey, and judge one another on superficial and
shallow standards. I feel ostracized and ignored because I'm not "cool" or attractive or sexually desirable and I'm not
popular because I don't have personality traits that such draw people to me, such as charisma or making people
laugh. Queers in Seattle are not kind and service-oriented as a whole in the way that LDS and AA folks are. I think
this is partly due to the fact that people in Seattle, not just queers, tend to be cold and standoffish (this is what the
"Seattle freeze refers to"), and also because queers are not automatically bonded together due to homophobia from
the outside like they are in other areas where it's less acceptable to be queer. Thus, I think being queer in a more
homophobic area like the US South would be quite different and would probably feel more like a community to me.

3 9.) It was religion itself but the people in the church that made it difficult for me, but I havent been shunned by
the church. They knew me as a gay woman but they were okay with that. So the thing in the Catholic Church. Being
queer is okay but acting upon it is the sin so they expect queer people to be celibate which is completely unrealistic,
but at that time I was single so I was technically following church teaching. [inaudible]______________ are you
still okay with attending that church? If thats their belief and thats what they preach at church?
 Kim 4

Both interview participants only form of community support at many points of their life

was through their religion because they felt as if they did not fit in with many queer

communities. In Js case, it was important that she had the church because she did not identify as

being part of the queer communities even though she saw herself as being a mainstream queer. D

did not see himself as being mainstream queer and found it difficult to connect with the dominant

queer narrative because he did not go through any particular hardships with his identity, which

made it seem that he was not trans enough4. The issue about the tension between Christianity and

sexuality is not necessarily the different rights and having political beliefs that are on the same

page, but that these stances lead to devastating policies that unfairly target gays and lesbians

because of their supposed immorality. In addition to these policies, the psychological damage

done to LGBT individuals as a result of the church's stance is immeasurable (Kraus, 102).

The thing that stood out to me when I interviewed D and J was that both stated that they

did not have any feel any tensions with Christianity and God and that they struggled more with

people who had certain preconceptions of what a church should be like. This leads to the idea of

When discussing queer theory, Jagose states that [i]nstead of assuming that collective identities

simply reflect differences among persons...we needto look closely at the process by which

movements remake identities (Jagose, 71). The issue is not that people are different, but that

society is creating these differences and perpetuating it. In relation to queer identity and religion,

Yeah and the reason why is that everyone has stuff in the Bible that they cherrybook. Absolutely everyone. Even the
pope. No one is perfect and what I like about Catholic Church is that they have theI like the fact that its the
emphasis on faith plus works, not just faith alone.

4 8.) I was reading stories of other transgender people and they seemed to be the same narrative of you know, I had
severe gender dysphoria and I was suicidal and I tried transition and I transitioned and now everything is happy. It
seemed veryI didnt really fit into that narrative. I have gender dysphoria, it makes me feel mildly bummed. Its
never made me suicidalit made me annoyed, but its never been suicidal. So you felt your case wasnt as extreme?
Yeah. So consequently, since I didnt fit into that narrative, I didnt feel trans enough.
 Kim 5

Bible interpretations are very different depending on who is reading it and how they integrate

into their belief and identity as a Christian. There is a narrative that the Bible has been

incorrectly interpreted to condemn same-sex sexual acts and therefore gay and lesbian

relationships (Kraus, 101). However, I want to expand from that and consider what that means

for different people. For J, this was a way for her find reconciliation between herself and her love

for God. For me personally, this raises confusions as to what extent are different Biblical

interpretations permissible. OBrien describes Queer Christians as living the contradiction as

self-articulation is forged through attempts to grapple with this contradiction, or what is known

as the gay predicament. According to this predicament, religion is a primary system of

meaning, a basis for addressing big questions about life, meaning, and purpose. In traditional

Christian narratives, the homosexual is irretrievably cast off from this system of meaning.

Reconciliation, which is a stage in the articulation of a queer Christian identity, involves the

recognition of this tension asthe basis for making sense of and organising ones life (OBrien,

238). I do not think that this struggle for reconciliation that OBrien describes is only limited to

Queer Christians.

In some sense, I see myself, a cisgender heterosexual Christian, as also being part of this

living the contradiction but experiencing it in a different way than Queer Christians as it seems

that some of our faith is being queered in the sense that it is being reshaped and examined by

society from a critical perspective that is not always based on religious faith alone. This honestly

does make me uncomfortable because there seems to be so many changes and Biblical

interpretations that go against my beliefs. However, through my interviews and this course, I

learned that Christianity and Queer Theory share many of the same values but have different

ways of approaching it. Therefore, I think it is important for traditional Christians and for Queer
 Kim 6

Christians to be more conscious of how queering Christianity affects the religion as a whole

rather than focusing on the specific aspects, such as gay marriage, and pay attention to how

societys understanding of Christianity is being redefined and internalized for different identities.

It is possible that queering Christianity is something that needs to be further addressed in queer

studies discourse as a way to discuss how different institutions affect different queer identities

and how these individuals are empowered and/or oppressed in the system.
 Kim 7

Works Cited

Bornstein, Kate. Open Letter to LGBT Leaders Who Are Pushing Marriage Equality, in
Against Equality: Queer Critiques of Gay Marriage, ed. Ryan Conrad (Against
Equality Press, 2010), 11-14.

Jagose, Annamarie. 1996. Queer Theory. NYU Press.

Kraus, Kelly. Queer Theology: Reclaiming Christianity for the LGBT Community.
E-Research: A Journal of Undergraduate Work 2, no. 3 (2011). 98 -110.

OBrien, Jodi. How Big is Your God? Queer Christian Social Movements
Interdisciplinary Readings on Sex and Sexuality 5 (2005).237-261.

Sherkat, Darren E. and et. Al. Race, Religion, and Opposition to Same- Sex Marriage.
Social Science Quarterly 91, issue 1 (2010). 80-98.
Doi: 10.1111/j.1540-6237.2010.00682.x

Wood, Mitchell. The Gay Male Gaze; Body Image Disturbance and Gender Oppression Among
Gay Men. Journal of Gay and Lesbian SocialServices 17, no. 2 (2008): 43 -62.
Doi: 10.1300/J041v17n02_03