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"He bhagwan, meri jaan le le, aur mere beti ki jaan bacha de"
(hey god, if it's all the same to you, wanna trade my life
for my daughter's?)
From this point on, all of the core material (and the typos) are
Asjeet Lamba's. Prem! (prem@prem.lbl.gov) has just cleaned it up
a bit for presentation and added a few comments here and there...
==============================================================================
==
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The Hero has just married a very poor girl ( who later turns out to be
his father's friend's long lost daughter ) and has brought her home to
introduce to his parents.
Mala is bending down to touch the father's feet. Suddenly, THE FATHER
MOVES BACK TWO STEPS.
----
My, these cliches from Hindi movies sure are fun. Let's have more of these.
Dh: Gaon vaalon, mein vahi karoonga jo Heer ne Ranjha ke liye kiya tha,
Romeo ne Juliet ke liye kiya tha - sosait, sosait, sossaait (suicide).
G1: Arre bhai, yeh sossaait kya hota hai?
G2: Arre bhai, jub ungrez marte hain, to usey sossaait kehte hain!!!!
----
I don't remember where this came from, but i really like it. Here is how
it goes:
The villain has the heroine tied to an electric chair with a long electric
wire leading to a switch. The villain throws the switch and the electricity
is now shown flowing towards the heroin. The hero is running towards the
heroine racing with electricity to save her, and yes he is catching up.
The villain at this point shouts to his chamcha: "Charlie voltage baddhao,
electicity jaldee jayegi".
----
The villain has just asked his guys to get hold of Mudassar Nazar, who
has refused to come to the villain's den.
----
Ajit: Seth Dharam Prashad, aapki beti hamare kabze mein hai!
[Seth Dharam Prashad, your daughter is in my nefarious hands!]
====
Amitabh B has got out of jail and is bent on finding and beating
up Ajit (who goes by the name JJ in this movie). He calls JJ:
(direct translations provided).
====
====
3. While eulogizing Satish Shah, "Woh gutter ke liye jiye, aur gutter ke
liye mare. Woh kaha karte the ki kisi desh ki unnati uske gutter se jani
jati hai. Unhone apni sari jindgi gutter mein gujar di."
(He lived for gutter, and he died for gutter. He used to say that the
progress of a country can be measured by its gutters. He spent all his
life in gutters.)
4. Then this scene in which Ravi thinks the heroine (sorry, forgot the name)
has come to be photographed, and explained to her that he will take such
a good photo that she will instantly become a top model. The dialogue ends
with a slap from heroine. Then while Ravi is searching for the photographs
she had earlier asked them to develop, Naseeruddin Shah comes in the shop
and he also thinks that she wants to be photographed. the whole scene is
repeated. It was hilarious. Ravi trying to tell NS that she is not what NS
thinks, but everytime NS just shuts him up.
5. The scene in which the two had gone in search of the dead body in the
night. Ravi Baswani is terribly afraid. He wants to search in the area
where he is sure there is no dead body.
----
Raaj Kumar: Jaani, hum tumhe aisa nahi karne denge...
----
Amitabh Bachchan: Nazar utha ke dekh Gabbar. Tere sar pe maut mandalaa
rahee hai!
----
Ravi : Jitendra
Maa : Nirupa Roy
Foto : Om prakash
Ravi: Maa, Tumhaare aasheervaad se main aaj B.A. FIRST class mein
pass ho gaya hoon.
[ Mom, your cool_dude son graduated today ]
[ Guess what ?! In first class ]
Maa : Bahuth khushee ki baath hai beta. Le, yeh parshaad kha le.
[ Son, that's really impressive. Thulp this parshaad ]
Ravi: Maa ... uummnn ... Bahu rani tho my dhoond hee liya hai.
[ Geez, closed on a girl already ]
Ravi: Kya!?
Ravi: Yeh, yeh mom get on with it. I've heard that before...
(Haan, haan maa aur kuch bolo. Yeh maine sab suna hua hai...)
Maa: (STARTS SOBBING HYSTERICALLY) Beta, beta yeh tu kya keh raha hai...
SO we Finally get rid of Ms. Roy. Thanks once again to the mob
mentality. Who said mob mentality was all bad!!
----
THE SCENE...
Hema malini(Basanthi) on tonga is being chased by four dakaits
on ghodes...
From Sholay, Amitabh Bachchan to Hema Malini: "Tera naam kya hai, Basanti?"
-----------
How about this one from Zanjeer?
The hero has just landed in Ajit's (big) 'bungla' to remind him of
what happened 20 years ago. And Ajit goes,
"Aao Vijay, Baito aur hamaare saath ek iscotch piyo. Hum
tumhe kha todi jaayenge. Vaise bhi hum vegetarian hain!!"
------------
The dialogues are from Amitabh movies.
AB: Meri zindagi ka tambu teen bambu pe khada hai sharab, shayari aur aap.
AB: Aadmi zindagi mein sirf do hi baar bhagta hai, ya to olympic ka race
ho ya police ka case ho.
----
Dh: When I die, Police coming. Police coming, Buddiya going jail.
In jail, Buddiya Chakki Peesing and Peesing and Peesing....
G1: Are bhabhi, jara haan kar do nan, Yeh to marne ja raha hai.
Basanti's
mother: Are kaise haan kar doon, Dinanath ji!!.
G1: To phir usay marne dogi kya?
B's m: Accha theek hai, Veeru, Main thaiyar hoon.
Main thaiyar hoon!!.
Dh: Are thumse kown shadhi karega buddiya,
main tho Basanti se shadhi karna chahtha hoon.
Basanti: Veeru, main bhi thaiyar hoon.
Dh: Chalo, Basanti thaiyar hai. Buudiya bhi thaiyar hai,
Main neechay uthartha hoon.
----
This dialogue is from the movie Namak Halaal. I hope I do justice to it.
The scene is the one in which Amitabh is introduced to Ranjeet by Ram Sethi
for the first time in the movie.
Ranjeet: Yeh sab to theek hai, magar angrezi vangrezi aati hai ya nahi.
Amitabh: E lo kar lo baat. Are aisi angrezi ave hain ke I can leave angrez
behind. I can talk english, I can walk english, I can laugh english,
because english is a funny language. Bhairon becomes barren and
barren becomes Bhairon because their minds are very narrow. In the
year 1929 when India was playing Australia at the melbourne stadium
Vijay Hazare and Vijay Merchant were at the crease. Vijay Merchant
told Vijay Hazare. look Vijay Hazare, this is a very prestigious
match and we must consider it very prestigiously. We must take this
into consideration, the consideration that this is an important match
and ultimately this consideration must end in a run.
Ranjeet: O.K., O.K.
Amitabh: In the year 1979 when Pakistan was playing against India at the
Wankhade stadium Wasim Raja and Wasim Bari were at the crease and
they took the same consideration. Wasim Raja told Wasim Bari, look
Wasim Bari, we must consider this consideration and considering that
this is an important match we must put this consideration into action
and ultimately score a run. And both of them considered the
consideration and ran and both of them got out.
Ranjeet: O shut up.
----
Gabbar Singh's Twist: Jaao unkaa peechaa karo, aur khaalee haath mut
anaa haramzaadon!!
(Follow them, and don't come back empty-handed, you bastards.)
----------
Heroine to Villian: Kutte, kameene; chhod de mujhe!!
(Dog; Meanie; leave me!)
Villian: *Grunt*
(Enter) Hero: Haraamzaade, main tera khoon pee jaaungaa!!
(Bastard, I'll drink your blood!)
-----------------
Hero to Mom (first meeting with heroine): Dekho ma main kisse laya hoon!
(Look who I've got to meet you mom!)
Hero's mom: Aao betee, mere paas baitho...
(Come daughter, sit beside me...)
(If that happens to be Lalita Pawaar then we're treated to her awesome
natural wink, if you get what I mean @;)
Heroine: **BLUSH** **BLUSH** *Quickly pulls ghungat (veil) over her head
and touches her feet (the ma-in-law's feet that is!)*
-----------------
Old man: Bees saal pehle ki baat hai... (This happened twenty years ago...)
*Fade to flashback...*
-----------------
On similar lines:
(Aurat: My daughter, I have raised you with immense care and at great
personal sacrifices to me. I have kept you away from all those
sleaze-bag boyfriends of yours. So let your pals take this
opportunity to put a lot of gooey stuff on your arms, legs and
face (since we can't show anything else on Doordarshan (TV)).)
O. K. Saabun (Soap)
-------------------
Scene 1: Two men cycling together and discussing world affairs....
Man 1 : Arre yeh toe bahut bada hai! Zaroor mehnga hoga!
(Hey, this toe is really big @:) (Should be kinda expensive)
Man 2: Nahi yaar! Bilkul mehenga nahi hai. Naha ke toe dekh!!
(No friend. No way!! It aint expensive. Bathe your toe and see @:)
Scene 2: Man 2 in the shower with a gulaabee (pink) OK soap in his hand...
--------------------------
Hero's Mother/Father:
Yeh lo pachchaas hazaar rupaih aur mere bete ko bhool jao.
(Here, take these fifty thousand ruppees and leave our son alone.)
Heroine's Father/Mother:
Kullachchini, maine tujhe issi liye paal-pos ke badaa kiya thaa ke
tu mujhe yeh din dekhaaye?!
(Woman-from-a-lousy-family-tree, did I raise you to show me this day?)
Mom: Kalmoohi! Maine tujhe issi din dekhne ne liye paidaa kiya thaa!
Ke tu mere peeth peechey gulcharrey udhatee phirre!?
Dad: Haraamzaadey! Teri itni himmat! Meri beti par dorey daalta
hai! Teri haesiyat he kya hai?
(Bastard! Your that many guts! You're putting ropes around
my daughter! What is your social standing after all?)
Raaj Kumar: Arre jaani, jaane bhi do. Do pyaar bharey dil hain. Gulcharrey
nahi udhaengey to kya world affairs discuss karengey kya?
(Oh lively one, let it be. Two love filled hearts these are.
If they don't fly flower-shots what do you expect them to
do -- discuss world affairs?)
==================================
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Amitabh in Coolie (?) : .. jis par pad jaye ek bhee hath
uska bache na ek bhi baal.
isliye naam hai mera iqbal.....
----