Be sober and vigilant.

Your opponent the devil is prowling like a

roaring lion looking for someone to devour. The Catholic Bishops
Conference of the Philippines (CBCP) began their position on divorce with
this bible verse.

Divorce as the devil. Welcome to the Philippines.

A failed marriage is not an argument for divorce. It is rather proof

of the necessity that only mature people enter into it, CBCP added,
arguing that the countrys existing laws already address violent marriages
.

Reality, however, proves that sometimes maturity and violence are

unrelated to the many possible reasons couples separate. And no one, not
even gods, could stop immature people from marrying; nor should they
be stopped from separating.

The CBCP also compares marriage to test-driving a car, stressing how

dehumanizing it is for people to test another marriage after
failing the first.

Opposition of the Catholic Church, Ilagan argued, is the biggest

hindrance to exonerating the Philippines from being the only country in
the world, aside from Vatican City, without divorce.
Every election year, the Church tells politicians they will not win if
they support divorce. They said the same with the Reproductive Health
(RH) bill, Ilagan said.

These men have no marital experience, why should they have an opinion?
asked Jelen Paclarin of the Womens Legal and Human Rights Bureau
(WLB), a non-governmental organization championing womens rights.

"The Church should have no say. It's not part of their mandate anymore,"
Paclarin argued.

In fact, under Philippines laws, Muslim Filipinos can divorce. And

although Filipinos can get divorce abroad, this is not legally
recognized back home.

"Why are religious standards applied in civil law?" the WLB asked. "If
the basis for allowing divorce among Muslim Filipinos is religion,
aren't other Filipinos who do not subscribe to religious dogma against
divorce entitled to avail of divorce as well?"

Advocates are also pointing fingers at legislators arguing against

divorce without understanding it.

Verceles believes the divorce bill will not triumph anytime soon,
especially since elections are nearing, Politicians share the CBCPs
sentiments, they need votes."

The "traditional and hypocritical" opinions of male politicians on

divorce are part of the country's "macho mentality," observed Ilagan.
"They don't want to legalize divorce yet some have two or more
families."

She pointed out that some politicians had "quick" annulments since they
can afford it. Some of these "quickie courts" may involve corruption .

Meanwhile, poor and even middle-income women cannot afford the

procedure.

Not all men, however, are like this. Verceles lauded the likes of
Congressman Edcel Lagman, a staunch RH advocate. At the same time, not
all women are pro-women, citing Congresswoman Lucy Torres-Gomez, an RH
law opponent.

The Philippines is no land of milk and honey no matter how "holy" it

may be, couples do break up.

Office of the Solicitor General data

Number of annulment cases filed
2010 2011
8,283 10,257

Money talks

Will divorce be cheaper than annulment?

Hiring lawyers and psychologists for an annulment case can be very

expensive. There are also women who stay in abusive or unhappy marriages
for economic survival; they have no jobs, they depend on their husbands.
Hence the need for government to help empower women economically,
Verceles suggested.

At present, poor women rely only on pro-bono lawyers for annulment. Such
should not be the case for divorce.

"We should look at how divorce can be accessed by the [less

privileged]," said Paclarin.
The poor mostly only hold on to informal agreements (kasulatan) signed
by both parties and a barangay captain. Such have no legal effect.

Women should also be educated about their rights and legal options.
Consultation workshops on divorce could help get the people's pulse and
problems, said WLB.

Lack of child support is common in post-separation situations, hence the

need for the divorce law to come up with an easier and faster way of
guaranteeing that the more capable party will provide child support.

WLB also calls for scraping the country's infidelity laws discriminating
against women .

Paclarin painted this scenerio: A battered wife files a VAW (violence

against women) case against her husband who then lies and accuses her of
adultery. Both go to court, with the husband having the advantage of
money and "good" lawyers. Who will win?

Future of the end

What awaits the end of Filipino marriages?

Mga praning sila(Theyre paranoid). They think if we have a divorce

law, it will encourage couples to divorce or break up families, said
Verceles. We won the RH law despite Church opposition. The same thing
can happen for divorce. (READ: Divorce needs RH-like support )

Verceles has been separated for 13 years and boasts of successfully

raising her daughter. "It's not a badge of dishonor for children, remove
the stigma," she said.

Ilagan admits the bill would most likely fail in the 16th Congress, but
that it is good that more people are now talking about divorce and its
merits.

"It's not a Las Vegas kind of divorce; get married today, divorce
tomorrow," Ilagan said. "Lets not pretend our societies don't have
[marital] problems. What were proposing is just another remedy."

The logic is simple, advocates say: If you don't want a divorce, don't
get one, but don't force others to agree with you. If they want it, let
them.

Just like the RH law, divorce has a long battle ahead. Until then, many
Filipinos might stay blind to the reality that not all marriages will
last.