MOTHERS DAY

EMPLOYMENT AGREEMENT
Drafted by Slater and Gordon Lawyers

BETWEEN:

Each and every child (Employer)

- and

Their loving and caring mothers (Employee)

NOW THIS AGREEMENT PROVIDES AS FOLLOWS:

1 TERM AND EMPLOYMENT STATUS

1.1 The Employee agrees to be employed on a full time basis as a Mother on the terms
and conditions contained in this Agreement.

1.2 This Employment Agreement is made on the date of birth of the employer
(Commencement Date) and shall continue for both of your lifetimes.

1.3 Redundancy is not available your role will never be redundant.

2 HOURS OF WORK

2.1 The Employees normal hours of work will be 24 hours a day, seven days a week,
including weekends, public holidays and wake-up calls in the middle of the night.

2.2 Bathroom breaks are not permitted. The Employees shower and toilet time will
henceforth become group activities.

2.3 The Employer may require the Employee to work unreasonable additional hours to
meet operational requirements and ensure his or her needs are met.

3 DUTIES

3.1 The Employee must diligently perform the following roles simultaneously with little to
no training (note: this list is not exhaustive and is subject to change with no notice):

a. CEO of the family unit, in conjunction with other parents.

b. Personal shopper for food, clothing and any other item that is demanded at short
notice with nil regard to product availability or the household budget.

c. Daily court appearances for arbitration of sibling disputes.

d. Handling of contaminated materials, usually involving malodorous and potentially

toxic bodily fluids.

e. Professional chauffer and navigator. No directions will be provided.

f. Counsellor, teacher, day care provider, stylist, housekeeper, homework tutor,

sports coach, personal chef, playdate co-ordinator and blanket fort engineer.

3.2 The Employee will also be required to grow additional bodily appendages, specifically
eyes in the back of her head.
4 POLICIES

4.1 The Employee agrees to comply with all obligations under the following policies:

a. Deference to the Employers definitive wisdom across all subject matters.

b. Non-consumption of vegetables without a tantrum.

c. The But Why Policy, which requires the Employee to answer never-ending
sequences of questions with no apparent relevance.

5 LEAVE

5.1 The Employee is entitled to the following leave:

a. None.

b. The Employee is required to remain on call even when the Employer is attending
other events or functions, including school, sleepovers or parties.

c. The Employer may direct the Employee to shut up and leave them alone
forever, however the Employee is required to continue performing her duties.

6 DISPUTE RESOLUTION

6.1 If any question, difference or dispute arises between the parties, the Employer
reserves his or her right to throw a tantrum and refuse to acknowledge the Employees
point of view or logical reasoning.

6.2 If a resolution is reached, it will be entirely at the discretion of the Employer with no
input from the Employee permitted.

7 REMUNERATION

7.1 The Employee shall be entitled to the gross Total Fixed Remuneration as follows:

Base salary: None.

Entitlements: No penalty rates. No loading. No leave. In fact, the

Employer will require a weekly salary from you in the
form of pocket money.

Annual incentive: Breakfast in bed and a hand-painted coffee mug or

picture frame every year on Mothers Day.

Total Fixed Remuneration: The priceless love of your children and the
knowledge that you would not trade a single sleep-
deprived moment for the world.