Working as the ministry intern at Misericordia this year has been a truly amazing

experience. I learned so much about myself, in addition to the population of developmentally

disabled people. I had many experiences of growth and found many more places in my life

where I desire to continue to grow. When I first started my internship, I had a list of service

experiences on my resume that was multiple pages long. I thought I had done everything and

knew it all, but this experience has humbled me. I have been shown that there is much to learn

about the world and its social justice issues.

One of the things that I have learned is the importance of being knowledgeable. It is

essential to know about current events in society so that people can work to create a more just

world. I knew nothing about current events at the start of my internship, but I had a wake-up call

when we talked in class about the events of the presidential election. I realized I did not have

much to contribute because I was not up to date with the events. Since then I have tried to make

more of an effort to read the news, but it is difficult to change old habits. I would like to read

news articles during the time I would normally be scrolling through Facebook.
I have gained humility through this internship experience. I started my internship

expecting to help people, even though I did not think I had the Savior mentality. I did not

realize it at the time, but I thought I knew what the residents needed and that I would be able to

give it to them. I thought my job was to help them build their faith lives by reflecting with them,

because that was my job in other ministry areas of my life. I am a Christian Life Community

leader, where my group works together through prayer and reflection to grow closer to God. This

is a great opportunity, but the difference is that those who are in CLC choose it. The residents at

Misericordia may choose to join the prayer service each week, but there is no application process

or orientation for what they should expect to get out of it. My way of leading CLC may not be

what the residents at Misericordia want. Throughout the year, they seem to be happy with

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singing songs and passing around the candle. They need to be challenged differently, because

they are not college students and they have different ways of processing. The choir directors at

Misericordia, Bob and Madge, always say that some people pray in ways that only God

understands, and I have witnessed that. They are specifically talking about the residents who are

nonverbal, but it applies in any circumstance. Prayers are meant to be between the person and

God, and it is perfectly okay if my residents have different needs than the members of my CLC. I

have been humbled by realizing that I do not know everything there is to know about people with

disabilities and people in general.

The lesson of humility extends beyond this academic year. Listening to the others in my

class talk about their internship experiences reminds me that I have much more to learn. I was

humbled by their stories because they had done so much work as leaders at their sites. Ella, for

example, created her own program for the girls at Madonna House, which involved creating a

syllabus and being available on Friday nights to run the program for the teens. She is a true

leader who cares for her clients more than she cares about having her Friday nights free, and this

showed me how much further I can go with my relationships and connections at Misericordia

and beyond. All the interns have inspired me to work harder and have shown me that I am

definitely not at the top.

One of the most challenging lessons I learned was about patience. At the start, I wanted to

do many complicated activities and reflections (like the ones I did in my CLC meetings), but

quickly learned that the residents needed something simple and consistent. I would often get

bored after multiple weeks of the same prayer service and the same songs, but consistency is

very important in this population. It helps the residents know what to expect if the layout of the

program is the same every week. They can participate more if they know how the service works.

I struggled to be patient because I wanted to change things to be more interesting. The most
important part of it all was that I had to realize that this experience was not for me, but for the

residents. I had to do what they wanted and needed, not what I wanted to do. Instead, I found

small ways to compromise, by adding a few new songs to our sing-a-long and by bringing

different coloring sheets each week. This made it a little bit more interesting for me, but kept the

same expectations for the residents. Learning that their success is more important than mine was

extremely valuable.
In addition to gaining humility and patience, I gained valuable friendships. While I

expected to build relationships, I did not expect to make real friends. I found many people who

truly cared for me and would help me along my journey. Franny and Mike were two of the choir

members who I got very close with by the end of my internship. They would save me a seat

during choir each week and mike would always pull up an extra chair for me. Mike has cancer,

so his absence was apparent when he would be in the hospital and have to miss practice. There

would be no one to guide me past the throngs of people during Communion, and no one to wait

with me after choir practice was over. Franny would give me the updates about Mike and when

he finally came back after a month of being away he gave me the biggest hug. The three of us sit

together and sing as a trio during choir, and I help bring out their best voices while they help

bring out my best self. When I would be nervous about a job interview or anything else, they

would always talk to me about it and make me feel better. They inspire me to persevere,

especially when Mike says he will never let chemotherapy get him down. It is impossible to

describe how our friendship has grown, as it is impossible to describe the depth of any of the

friendships I have made at Misericordia. However, the emotional connection is quite strong and I

know they will always be my friends, and I hope to show them that I will always be theirs as

well.
 Christa is another friend of mine who will leave an impact on me. I am her spiritual

director, but our relationship is better described as a friendship. I listen as she tells me about her

week every Saturday and we say a small prayer at the end of the session, which usually consists

of me asking God to help us all to be as courageous as Christa is. She is a great friend who also

teaches me a lot. I have been able to ask her candidly about her disability and she explains what

her experience is like. She has been a model of courage for me as she describes everything she

has been through, from medical to emotional struggles. She tells me ways she deals with her

anxieties and I try to keep her in mind during my personal struggles. She has helped me on my

faith journey much more than I have probably helped her.

My residents have shown me what real faith looks like by exemplifying Jesus love in

action. As Jesus loved all people of different beliefs and appearances, the residents often do the

same. All year I worked with residents in a Catholic setting, reading from the Bible and praying

the Our Father. I realized in the last few weeks of my internship that many of these residents are

not even Christian! My supervisor is Christian, but the residents allow him to run the Jewish

Sabbath every week, and many Jewish residents sit through my prayer services as well. Many

even participate at Mass, which I learned when Julie was sitting on the altar, leading the

congregation in sign language, and when I offered her Communion she said I am Jewish. I was

so amazed in realizing that the residents do not seem to distinguish the different religions. They

find value in sitting through Mass and singing Christian songs and prayers. They do not

discriminate if a Christian leads the Jewish prayer service and they can talk about God with me

as if we all have the same beliefs. I think this reveals a goal for society. We do not have to have

the same beliefs to discuss faith or to build relationships. While society often simply tolerates

and/or respects other religions, the residents at Misericordia embrace the others. They participate

fully in other traditions and still manage to remain faithful to their own beliefs. They continue to
impress me and help me develop my own faith life, and I think the rest of the world should see

the inside of Misericordia in order to be transformed in these ways as well.

The residents are amazing examples of love in our world today, but they may not always

feel that way. One resident described to me a story of a staff member conducting a discussion of

how people may feel about their disabilities. She was asked if she feels her disability is a

punishment from God, and to my surprise she said yes. I felt sad for her because I see her as a

gift, but I am not the one who lives in her body everyday. This is something that I would like to

continue to reflect on, because I wonder what this means for us as a society. Is this something

that society has created? Have we made people with disabilities feel as if their life is an

affliction? It is often thought that people with disabilities are always happy and loving, but they

are human just like everyone else. They feel and understand like we all do.
I was surprised to discover the comprehension of many of the residents. I had the silent

assumption that if someone is nonverbal or lower functioning that they do not understand. This

assumption was destroyed throughout my work with the choir. One instance in particular stands

out as a forming moment for me, involving Kirk who was often in the back looking around and

seeming to not pay attention; I wrongly assumed that he did not know what was going on. Bob,

the choir director, tends to call on people randomly to sing a solo or pick up where he left off

singing to make sure people are paying attention. When he called on Kirk, he immediately knew

where we had left off and knew all the words without reading the song sheet. When I thought he

was not looking at the song sheet because he was not paying attention, he actually already knew

all the words and did not need to look at the words. This was a moment that taught me a valuable

lesson about people with disabilities. Even when I did not think I had prejudices, I had poor

assumptions. I learned that people with disabilities may be completely intelligent and competent,

and just because I do not understand them does not mean that they do not know anything. This
lesson reminds me of Bob and Madges previous message that while we may not understand

everyones prayers, God can still hear them. It is important to reflect on my thoughts because I

did not realize that I had these prejudices, and reflecting on them allows me to move past them

and see reality.

The asset map assignment occurred at the perfect time for me because it was a period

where I was focusing on deficits. The asset map assignment taught me to look at a neighborhood

that appeared to have many deficits and focus on the assets. Society often feels it knows what to

do to fix a struggling neighborhood, but it ignores the aspects that are already strong. The asset

map forced me to find aspects of a neighborhood that were already good and could help it help

itself. In my internship, I started feeling bored by the residents predictability and frustrated with

their behaviors. Their repeated phrases felt annoying and I found myself unexcited to go to work

everyday. After sharing my experiences in class and creating my asset map, I learned to flip my

negative views and see the residents assets. When I got frustrated with their repetitive and

predictable phrases, I realized that it is truly amazing that they were always happy to see me

when I walked in the door, without fail! They shouted, Emily is here and The guitar is here!,

and sometimes they would even jump out of their seats. Once I learned to see things through a

positive lens, I realized how grateful I was for each person.

This year at Misericordia has truly changed my life. It is especially difficult to say

goodbye to such amazing people after growing so close all year. They have taught me an

immense amount and I have seen so much through them. I have learned a lot about disabilities

and how they may affect people, but this is only a small portion of what I have gained. I have

also seen how society may view them and how I viewed them, even though I said I had no

prejudices. I learned to develop my leadership skills and professionalism. I gained friendships

with people who care about me and will always remember me. I learned how to be patient and
humble, and how to appreciate things in a new way. I have learned to see people with disabilities

as just people, with different abilities. I am so thankful for this incredible year and I hope that I

bring these lessons with me throughout my life.