Fankhauser 1

Jamie Fankhauser

UWRIT 1104

Angela Miss

February 6, 2017

Rhetorical Analysis

The type of academic discourse I chose to analyze for my rhetorical analysis paper is

scholarship writing. I chose to deal with scholarship essays, because when comparing it with

other academic discourses I consider it my strongest outlet for writing. I began writing

scholarships prior to attending the university in efforts to earn as much free tuition that I could

obtain. Although I am currently attending UNC Charlotte on an athletic scholarship, I did not

receive a full ride, and still wanted to push myself to save my parents money. I have never

considered myself a compelling writer, but I believe the process of scholarship essays allowed

me to see the potential I have to be an effective writer. My mom served as a primary discourse

for me and encouraged me to fill out a scholarship essay each month during my senior year of

high school. These writings required me to use a secondary discourse, and I often opted to find

the topics I felt comfortable with, but I did venture out of my comfort zone on numerous

writings. Out of all of my essays I felt most secure when writing about athletics. Each of my

essays encompassed the idea of faith, soccer, and extra-curricular activities. I put timeless hours

and effort into creating meaningful essays that conveyed a specific message. Although I

acknowledged I would not triumph in every scholarship, I wrote as if I would; by doing so this

improved my writing all around. This process of writing helped me gain the knowledge needed

into becoming the writer I intended to be.

 Fankhauser 2

The scholarship I decided to analyze in depth for this project is one that I ended up

winning. This scholarship is entitled the Kenny Potts Memorial Scholarship and is offered to a

different athlete in my community each year. Danny and Gail Potts created this scholarship in

memory of their beloved son that passed away at such a young age. Kenny Potts was a male

soccer player that lost his life in a tragic car accident when he was only 20 years old. This

scholarship awards a player who exemplifies the same characteristics that Kenny possessed,

which include his passion for the game of soccer and his religious ideologies. A memorial was

set up in memory of Kenny by his parents and the 75 Stars soccer team 10 years ago.

Just as the Gee article explains how one can use correct grammar but in the wrong

context, I made sure my grammar was in the correct context for this scholarship essay. I intended

to convey a specific message when writing my essay to Danny and Gail Potts, that being one of

sincerity and interest. When looking back at this essay I feel as if it was written in more of a

primary discourse context rather than secondary. In most cases your basic scholarship essay

would include a secondary discourse, but my audience and context made my writing compare

more to a personal note. I made sure my paper included professionalism but overall the paper

was written as if I knew them personally making it less about the grammar and more about the

context. I desired for my writing to show the Potts family just how much their sons story

impacted me. I also wanted them to grasp the type of person I am, along with my morals and

values. I did this by making sure each sentence was displayed in an active voice making the

essay clear and concise. I strayed from a passive voice all around which made it rhetorically

effective. Although it is effortless to speak about my faith and athletic accomplishments, this

essay required me to go in depth and use a more profound discourse. I wanted them not only

noticing my athletic abilities but my leadership capabilities as well. I desired for the Potts family
 Fankhauser 3

to understand my belief that an athlete should be well rounded and be a leader in the game, a

positive role model and committed to learning (Fankhauser 2). I wanted my essay to extend

further than just the sport of soccer, showing the life long principles I have obtained from simply

playing this game. My message was simple yet profound in meaning and emotion. I put my main

focus on the structure and style of my paper in efforts to make it one of my best-written works.

This category of scholarship writing was simple for me to write about because I have

personal ties to the soccer club and sport. This essay required me to appeal to all modes of

persuasion. I initially didnt notice my use of ethos, pathos, and logos until rereading my essay

numerous times. I largely appealed to the sense of emotion in efforts to connect with my

audience on a more personal level. I had the knowledge of knowing I was addressing an essay to

a family with a hurting heart, and I knew it was important for me to convey my words in a way

that were sincere and genuine. Rather than mushfaking my way through this essay I became

vulnerable and revealed myself to this family on a more personal level. I wanted my speech to

relate as heartfelt rather than rehearsed. By incorporating personal life examples such as dealing

with the loss of a precious grandfather that made me question many areas of my life and by

discussing trials I have had to deal with made me reveal myself to them in a way that made this

scholarship essay become more distinctive. Although I knew I couldnt relate to them in the area

of loss that they experienced, I wanted to make known that I knew what it was like to go through

a passing of a loved one. By doing so I feel as if I went beyond the surface and tapped into my

true emotions, which was noticeable in my writing. I incorporated the persuasive mode of logos

by creating a list of all my accolades. I understood emotion alone wasnt superior enough to win

this scholarship and desired for the Potts family to notice that my life wasnt just surrounded by

the sport of soccer. I implemented soccer as an avenue not only in developing my body but to
 Fankhauser 4

gain a deeper sense of maturity in my mind. The lessons learned on the field, extended far

beyond the reach of a goal line (Fankhauser 1). I desired for them to understand soccer hadnt

just taught me how to kick a circular ball into a net. It had taught me teamwork, dedication,

drive, leadership, and more. It was important for me to add these attributes in my essay for them

to acknowledge that this sport was much more than just a sport to me. I placed a strong focus on

the delivery and created an essay filled with reasoning and logic. I implemented my religious

beliefs along with my extra-curricular activities in this writing. Along with reasoning, one of my

main goals was that my audience felt like they had a solid idea of who I was as a person.

After receiving this scholarship in person by the Potts family I felt as if my writing didnt

do justice to convey my true emotions about his memory. This family began to cry as they placed

this scholarship in my hand, which gave me the realization of just how highly they thought of

me, so much as to honor me with this prestigious award. My strengths exemplified my

weaknesses when writing this essay because of the immense time and effort I put into it. Through

scholarship essays I learned the importance of understanding what discourse you should use

depending on the topic at hand. It is important to know your audience along with the exact

content you are to be discussing. In many essays I would often stray from the content that was to

be presented, but scholarship essays allowed me to have an exact criteria for what to express.

This method of writing helped me develop a deeper liking for essays. I believe this liking was

due to me being allowed to choose the type of writings I felt would exemplify my strengths.

Writing about sports allowed my discourse to have a strong affect on those reading my essays.

Also, it allowed me to express my thoughts with logical reasoning, due to having a strong

knowledge on the topic at hand. Scholarship essays allowed me to see the potential I have to be

an effective writer and express meaningful discourse.

 Fankhauser 5

Works Cited

Fankhauser, Jamie. Kenny Potts Scholarship. Scholarship essay. Kernersville, NC,

2015, pp. 1-2. Print.