Limericks
There was a young lady named Bright,
Who travelled far faster than light.
She set out one day
In a relative way
And returned on the previous night
The order of nature, quoth he
is wondrously brought home to me
When I think of my clock
With each tick and each tock
1 Is joining us later
Goes 2 (two pi times the root of one
g
over g)
There was an old maid of Pitlochry
Whose morals were truly a mockery,
For under her bed
Was a lover instead
Of the usual porcelain crockery.
There was an old man of Nepal,
From his horse had a terrible fall.
But, though split quite in two,
With some very strong glue
They mended that man of Nepal.
There was a young lady whose eyes
Were unique as to colour and size.
When she opened them wide
People all turned aside and started away in
surprise.
There was a young person whose history
Was always considered a mystery.
She sat in a ditch,
Although no one knew which
And composed a small treatise on history.
The smile on the famed Mona Lisa
Has long been a bit of a teaser.
Perhaps Leonardo
In a fit of bravado
Made as if he were going to squeeze her.
You will find by the banks of the Nile
The haunts of the great crocodile.
He will welcome you in
With an innocent grin
Which gives way to a satisfied smile.
The man who invented the sprocket,
Went on to develop the socket.
Then one afternoon
He went to the moon,
Thats right, hed invented the rocket.
The chief stewardess of a Boeing
When asked where the aircraft was going,
Said, our navigator
Until then we have no way of knowing.
There was an old spinster of Fife
Who had never been kissed in her life.
Along came a cat
And she said, Ill kiss that,
But the cat meowed, Not on your life!
While the Prof. wrote a Latin declension
His pupils did things one cant mention.
Like shouting and shoving
Each other and showing
A singular lack of attention.
There was a young driver named Jake
Who made the made the most stupid mistake.
He drove through the wall
And into the hall
When he mixed up the gas and the brake.
There was young maid who said, Why
Cant I look in my ear with my eye?
If I gave my mind to it
Im sure I can do it,
You never can tell till you try.
A hot-tempered girl of Caracas
Was wed to a samba-mad jackass,
When he started to cheat her
With a dark seorita
She kicked him right in the maracas.
The bashful young bachelor Cleary
Of girls was exceedingly leary.
Then a lady named Lou
Showed him how and with who
He could render his evenings more cheery.