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The Untethered Soul: Twelve-Step Guide

to Spiritual Awakening

Spirituality is meant to bring about harmony and peace. But the diversity of our
philosophies, beliefs, concepts and views about spiritual matters often leads to
confusion or even conflict. The fact is that the very act of seeking spiritual freedom
causes notions of success and failure, and these notions serve only to bind us to our own
self judgments: Am I growing? Have I done anything wrong? Am I meditating enough?

Truth is only complicated because we pass it through our habitual thought patterns.
When we step back from ourselves, truth becomes simple. There are not many paths to
freedom, there is only one. In the end, no matter what particular patterns of thought we
have managed to build in our minds, freedom always means transcending these personal
thought patterns.

But how does one go about transcending the personal self and awakening to spiritual
freedom? What is needed for this journey are succinct steps that are so universal that
they can echo through the halls of any religion as well as support intellectual
understanding. The following is a universal road map to Self Realization.

1. Realize that you are in there.


You must first come to realize that you are in there. From deep inside, you are
experiencing this world. You are experiencing your physical body, your thoughts, and
your emotions. You are conscious and you are experiencing what it is like to be human.

2. Realize that you are not okay in there.

Look to see whats going on inside. If you want to understand why youve done
everything you have ever done, if you want to see whats really going on, just observe
your mind and emotionsjust experience your inner state. If you objectively look, you
will see that you are never completely at peace. You will see that you are not okay in
there.

3. Realize that youre always trying to be okay.


At any point when you look at the state of your inner being, you will see that something
is bothering you. You will then notice that this causes urges, drives, and impulses to do
something about it. You will find yourself constantly trying to either get something or
avoid something. All of this is done in an attempt to be okay.
4. Realize that your mind has taken on the job of figuring out how everything
needs to be for you to be okay.
If you watch, you will see that your mind is always telling you what you should and
should not do, what others should and should not do, and how things should and should
not be. All of this is the minds attempt to first create a conceptual model of what would
make you okay, and then try to get the outside world to match it.

5. Realize that the process of defining how the outside needs to be is not going to
make you okay.
You must seriously look at this process of trying to be okay. Youve been at it your
entire lifeyouve just tried different things at different times. While its true that
sometimes you manage to make it better for short periods of time, you know that youve
never even come close to reaching a state of permanent peace. Watch very closely how
you react to the things your mind has preferences about. You will see that if your mind
gets what it wants, you feel joy; if it doesnt get what it wants, you feel disturbance.
Likewise, when your mind experiences what it doesnt want, you feel disturbance, and
when it avoids what it doesnt want, you feel relief. You will never be okay playing this
game because the world will never match the conceptual model your mind has made up.
Eventually, you will come to see that struggling to be okay does not work. At some
point, you will try to find a different way to be okay in there.

6. Learn to not participate in the minds struggle to be okay.


This step is about learning to sit in the witness, the part of you that notices the inner
urges to be okay. You must become comfortable with sitting in there and not
participating in the inner energies. You learn to relax in the midst of them. You come to
see that there is a habitual process in which the moment you feel inner disturbance, you
are drawn into doing something about it. You must learn to sit inside and not participate
in this process. If you truly understand that going outside to try to be okay inside
doesnt work, then youll be willing to sit inside and simply allow the disturbance to
pass through. It is not difficult. If you can do this, all disturbance will cease by itself.

7. Learn to go about your life just like everyone else, except that nothing you do is
for the purpose of trying to be okay.
If you arent so preoccupied with trying to be okay, you will be free to sit inside and
quietly love, serve, and honor whatever naturally unfolds in front of you. When you
reach this point, you are no longer living for yourself. You are interacting with life, but
not for the purpose of being okay.

8. As you sincerely let go of the inner energies you are watching, you begin to feel a
deeper energy come in from behind.
Up to this point, everything you were watching inside was in front of you. But now that
you are no longer being drawn into those personal energies, youll realize that your
inner universe is actually very expansive. You will begin to feel Spirit flow in from
behind. It lifts you and brings you great love and joy.
9. Your inner experience becomes so beautiful that you fall in love with the energy
itself, and you develop a very deep and personal relationship with it.
It will become completely clear to you that there is an absolute trade-off between your
personal energies and the amount of Spirit that you feel. The more you get drawn into
your personal energies, the less Spirit you feel. The more you dont participate in your
personal energies, the more Spirit you feel. You now have a direct relationship with the
spiritual energy, and you will find yourself constantly longing to experience it.

10. You begin to feel the energy pulling you up into it, and your entire path
becomes letting go of yourself in order to merge.
Will is no longer needed. Now your path is strictly about releasing yourself into the pull
of the higher energy. You must surrender deeply enough to be able to overcome the fear
of losing your connection to the personal self. You must to be willing to die to be
reborn.

11. Once you get far enough back into the energy, you realize that your personal
life can go on without you, leaving you free to become immersed in Spirit.
This is the greatest miracle: Youve surrendered and your entire life is about Spirit, yet
people, places, and things continue to interact with you. The difference is that these
interactions require none of your energy. They happen naturally, by themselves, leaving
you at peace and absorbed in Spirit.

12. Now you are truly okay and nothing inside or outside of you can cause
disturbanceyou have come to peace with it all.
Because you are now completely okay, you dont need anything. Things just are what
they are. At this point, you know yourself as Self. The world, mind, and heart cannot
disturb you. Youve transcended them all. What is more, instead of feeling drawn into
Spirit, you now actually experience yourself as Spirit. You have no boundaries in time
or space. You have always existed and you will always exist. You have no form, shape,
gender, or body. You simply are, have always been, and will always beInfinite Spirit.
Notes and Thoughts on The Untethered Soul by
Michael A. Singer

For the last month i have been doing an intensive meditation on


Enlightenment. Having read through countless websites, articles, and
a few books, as well as, watched many different videos on the
subject, i can say, from my studies and experiences, that The
Untethered Soul captures the essence of many practices that lead
towards Awakening.

The substance of his book tackles the inner voice and its many guises
towards solidifying a self. His book starts with recognizing this voice
(Chapter I) and learning to befriend it by becoming familiar with its
many facets (II). Once we have gained a deeper understanding of this
self, Michael leads the reader to step back and watch this
multifaceted self and its many manifestations (III). By doing this, we
gain the understanding that we are not these things. We are The
Witness. He finishes Part One of The Untethered Soul with extending
this awareness, this lucid self into our day-to-day lives (IV).

In Part Two Michael introduces us to energy and the flow/Dao. First he


clarifies what energy is and then goes on to talk about its relationship
with these bodies and minds (V). Next he talks about the many ways
we close ourselves off from this energy (VI) before sharing with us
some of the why's and how's we go about doing that (VII).

Part Three is all about freeing ourselves. What can we do? How do we
do it? When? Where? And so forth... The sum of which can be
condensed down to: letting go (VIII), abiding in the center (IX), and
allowing (XI).

The Fourth Part of The Untethered Soul deepens our practices, which
in turn invites more energy, clarity, time, space, and so on into our
lives. Chapter (XII) focuses on taking down and dissolving the
walls/barriers we erect to protect and solidify/grow the self, then in
Chapter (XIII) Michael talks about raising our vibrations. This
particular approach i find fruitful, in that, we are focusing on that
which we seek. In doing that, those things that are not conducive fall
away. This includes unwanted thoughts and energies. The last chapter
in this section directs us to become aware of how the self is formed
and how to unravel it from its source (XIV).

The last Part of this book is all about bringing our practice into all
aspects and situations of life. Chapter (XV) is about inviting happiness
into our lives; (XVI) is about nonresistance and being open; (XVII)
deepens our presence in life by learning from Death; Chapter (XVIII &
IXX) is about living in the Dao and extending our perspective to
include all things.

One thing i really appreciate about Michael's writing is his uncanny


knack of capturing the essence of a teaching with imagery and
examples. A case in point, he utilizes the imagery of an all inclusive
movie theater that not only stimulates the five senses, but actually
takes the viewer into the mind and feelings of the actors on screen:
we literally become any one of the characters in the movie (35).
Michael connects this futuristic scenario with our given situation
within these body/minds. That, even in this highly involved movie,
there is still that part of self that can disassociate with what is going
on and just bear witness that all these things are in truth not us.

As a back story, when i first starting reading The Untethered Soul i


was like, "Wow, there is a lot of wisdom and practical information
here." This lead me to research Michael and i found myself reading
some criticism about his monetary entanglements. This completely
turned me off from his writing: "He doesn't practice what he
preaches," became a prevailing thought. Then something happened
i stopped feeding the thoughts, i stepped back. When i did that, i once
again found myself appreciating Michael's wisdom.

It is easier to find fault in someone else than to look at our own


entanglements. To put the book down claiming the author is full of
crap is a lot easier than having to look at ourselves. That's the easy
thing to do. The hard this is to keep reading and facing up to the
truth: we are scared, attached, filled with desire, angry, confused and
so on.

If there was one thing i would take away from this book it is this: stop
looking outside, stop getting caught up, stop creating stories and
getting lost in them, stop judging and expecting, stop and just be
present: bear witness with what is. If that is negative thoughts and
judgments, then so be it. See them come and watch them go.

I highly suggest this book to anyone who wishes to genuinely invite


peace, happiness, and wisdom into their lives. Michael extracts the
quintessential essence of many great practices into a unified and
practical manual that gives us a solid foundation to attain true
freedom. In other words, "once you learn that it's okay to feel inner
disturbances, and that they can no longer disturb your seat of
consciousness, you are free" (87).

If you are interested in buying the book or anything from Amazon


please use my Associates link by clicking on book image. This blesses
me with a few pennies from everything you buy from Amazon. Thank
you.

The best way to stop the incessant chaos in the mind is to step back
and just witness (9): we are not the voices in our head the incessant
chattering, worrying, thinking, dreaming, remembering, debating,
judging, narration, and so forth we are the witness. One way in
which we can touch in with this witness is to step back from the
thoughts, memories, emotions, sensations, and everything else. By
stepping back and witnessing these things, we see them as objects of
consciousness, and so, being objects they obviously cannot be us in
the truest sense of the word. To help solidify this process, imagine
that this discursive thinking is coming from outside as an external
person speaking to us (19). Once you have established this, spend
some time with this person, get to know them, listen to what they
have to say, see how they trip themselves up, and so forth. Get to
know the thinking mind as it is. When we can truly see the mind as it
is there is a natural tendency to want it to shut up. This gives rise to a
desire for freedom from it. That desire is what ultimately gives us the
energy, strength, and will to attain freedom.

The mind is like a tea kettle in that when the pressure builds it starts
to whistle, only, in the case of the mind, it gets louder and more
insistent (11). This chaos fills in the space, inviting the appearance of
comfort and security/protection with/from the world a sense of
control, as we buffer ourselves from naked reality with a picture of
what we expect, believe, hope, or otherwise desire things to be.
Some ways we identify the "I" with
Name
Form
Mind
Family
History
Accomplishments
Memories
Psychology
Relationships
Experiences
Beliefs
Career
Hobbies and passions
Emotions and thoughts
Soul
Consciousness/Pure Witness

Like a lucid dream, we seek to awaken within our daily lives

"Creating thoughts, holding onto thoughts, recalling thoughts,


generating emotions, controlling emotions, and disciplining powerful
inner drives, all require a tremendous expenditure of energy" (42).
There is a really nice example on this page about energy and
relationships.

Energy is everywhere. We need only be "open and receptive" to invite


it in. The easiest way to be open is to never close. To remain open no
matter what. To start this process we simply set the intention to do so.
While it is not easy, it is possible. The more we set our intention, build
our desire to remain open, and will it to be, the more it will happen.
Every time we close down, we take the opportunity to reflect and
reassert our intentions.

If we feel joy, love, energy, abundance, enthusiasm and other such


emotions and thoughts, then it does not matter what is going on
outside. If we are fully present and blessed within the moment, we
have achieved what we seek (46): there is no need for searching,
craving, grabbing, and holding.

The heart center is blocked by "stored, unfinished energy patterns


from your past" (50). The key is to fully experience the moment as it
is, and then the next moment, and the next. Whenever we find
ourselves holding on, getting caught up, we need only step back and
bear witness. Feel and experience the energy as it arises and then
allow it to go. Easier said than done, but it is possible, and that
understanding gives us the strength and belief to eventually do it no
matter the circumstance or situation.
We see the blocks through our fears and resistance. When we start to
make excuses, give reasons, find ourselves lashing out, judging, or
doing anything we can to not directly feel and experience the energy.
We create whole stories, novels even, just so that we can buffer and
protect our soft inner gushiness. Those things that either negatively
affect our being/identity or that further solidifies, grows, and pleases
us.

One of the first steps towards letting go is to recognize that we are


holding on. Like a burr attached to our clothes, unless we see it, we
will rarely be able to get rid of it. When we brush against it, when it
pokes us, we become distinctly aware of it. We can then create a
whole story surrounding it or we can just pull it off and throw it away.
No need to hold onto it.

"Real spiritual growth happens when there is only one of you inside"
(61). I totally agree with this. When every facet of our being is align,
we are whole, we are awake. All the vying desires, terrifying fears,
conflicting attachments, and opposing energies within us create
conflict and imbalance. When we are whole and aligned with the
moment, there is just Pure Being: we are the Dao.

"Spiritual growth is about the point at which you start to feel your
energy change" (62). In my experience, this can be after the fact.
Change sometimes can be like watching a child or hair grow. If we are
constantly around them, change is not so apparent. While, for
someone who has not been around for awhile, when they see our hair
or the child, they will say, "you have really grown." It is important in
our journey to reflect. To take a moment to become aware of and
appreciate our growth. In doing so, we not only come to see ourselves
in a different light, but we also strengthen and expedite more change
within our lives.

The more we practice and become aware of the energies within our
lives the easier it is to stem unbalancing energies before they solidify.
The more familiar we become with the center, the easier it is to pull
ourselves back from these disturbing energies. The center being, that
place of joy, peace, energy, unrippled awareness, and so forth. It is a
good place trust me.

So familiarize yourself with this center, find this inner silence/peace,


and abide there. Every time we feel the energy shift, we relax: we
don't fight, get caught up, seek to change or expect it to be
otherwise, nor do we judge it (64). We just let them go without
feeding them with more thoughts and energy.

A large part of the spiritual journey is unraveling the many blocks that
prevent the energy to flow through us. In many ways it is like peeling
away layers of an onion so that more and more light can shine
through (73).
"Consciousness is always drawn to the most distracting object" (76).

"Getting involved in the darkness does not dispel the darkness; it


feeds it" (78).

With blocks, thorns, problems, hang-ups, attachments, fears, and


such there are two things we can do remove them or keep them.
When we keep them we end up shaping our lives because of them.
Singer uses the image of a thorn and how we will adjust our whole
being around them so as not to allow anything to touch them and
cause us discomfort and pain. Instead of pulling the thorn out and
getting on with our lives, we allow it to define us, to shape and control
our lives. That's fucked up.

Take a moment throughout the day to be fully present. Just be there


noticing what is going on without getting caught up in the mind.
Witness. Be this during a shower, walking into work, opening a door,
when the phone rings, a siren goes off in the distance, or anything for
that matter. Just take ten seconds, thirty seconds, one minute to
touch in.

Layers of emotional/mental pain: having read this section of


Michael's book i decided to google psychological coping mechanism i
came across a variant of Vaillant's system which i find quite useful in
understanding this aspect of ourselves:

Level I: Perception

Delusions

Conversion: creating physical symptoms such as deafness, paralysis,


numbness, and such, in order to avoid confronting or touching our
vulnerability. On two occasions in my life i have utilized this
mechanism. The first time happened when i was being taken to a
girl's house, knowing that when we got there we would kiss. The
problem was, at that time in life i was extremely inept when it came
to sexual intimacy. So, i conjured up having taken LSD so that, by the
time we got to her house i was out of my mind and paralyzed (with
fear). I was taken to the hospital and then put into a drug rehab. For
two weeks i was tested, probed, and counseled all for a lie. The
second time i used this technique was on mushrooms. There was a
beautiful sister sleeping on a couch and for some reason i got it into
my head that all women on the face of the earth were at my disposal,
so, i went over, woke her up and proceeded to kiss her. She woke up,
yelled at me, and then got others in the house to confront me on it.
When they came up, i had turned around and just stood there, not
responding. After a few minutes they realized how tripped out i was
on mushrooms and so left me to be. I of course apologized later on.

Selectivity: filtering and allowing things that support and further


solidify our current state of mind/being.

Distorting: reshaping reality to fit our needs.

Denial: outright rejection of what is.

Level II: Movement

Acting Out

Fantasizing

Wishful Thinking/Day Dreaming

Reminiscing

Passive Aggressive

Withdrawal

Projection
Level III: Mentalization

Displacement

Dissociation

Splitting

Hypochondriasis

Overshadowing: creating an even worse case either consciously or


imaginatively in order to distract others from the soft spot {soft spot
being a term Pema Chodron uses for that vulnerable space where the
core of our identity lies).

Intellectualization

Idealization

Rationalization

Complicating

Simplifying

Reaction Formation
Regression

Repression

Suppression

Undoing

Comparing

Level IV: Cultivation

Respect

Moderation

Patience

Courage

Humility

Mindfulness
Acceptance

Gratitude

Altruism

Tolerance

Mercy

Forgiveness

Anticipation

Humor

Identification/Modeling

Introjection

Sublimation

Practification: turning adversity, negativity, and the unwanted things


into a practice.

Ways we box-in The Infinite


Views
Opinions
Preferences
Concepts
Goals
Beliefs

We can see our walls/blocks when we witness ourselves


acting, feeling, and thinking thus

Resistance
Repulsion
Fear
Insecurity
Jealousy
Anger
Shame/Guilt
Self-consciousness
Up stories
Justifications
Rationalizations
Etc....

Consciousness "does not exist at any particular point in space. Rather,


it is a field of [potential] awareness that focuses down to a point by
concentrating on a particular set of objects," concepts, sensations,
and so on (129). And depending upon the level of forgetfulness and
intensity of stimuli, will determine our ability to retain witness
awareness. The more objective, the greater the sense of
independence from that which we are focused on. The more
subjective, the more involved we are with the focus, and so, become
more isolated from the witness awareness.

Process of self development


Randomization: things just crossing the sensory threshold:
o Thoughts
o Sensations
o Impressions
o Emotions
Awareness: some trait, quality, experience, and such is
randomly experienced or made know
Orientation: aimed towards or away from
Relationship: exchange of energies, intimate knowledge,
categorizing, ordering, etc...
Integration: absorbing each others' energies, taking upon
ourselves similar traits, behaviors, qualities, etc.
Identification: this is just who we are: memories, beliefs,
experiences, etc...

In the end there is just one thing that needs to be considered for the
Path to define itself: do we want to be happy or not (141): no
qualifiers, conditions, or excuses (142). Depending on our answer will
ultimately decide the Path we take in life. Of course, once we have
answered that question the very next question we should ask
ourselves is: "what the hell is happiness anyways?"

"The beauty of embracing deep truths is that you don't have to


change your life; you just change how you life your life" (160).

Benefits arising from a Relationship with Death

Reminding us that we are not these bodies or minds


Reminding us that we are not our possessions
Showing us equality
Understanding impermanence
Helping us to let go
Shows us the importance of being fully present and open
Putting things into perspective
Gives us immediacy
Invites deep appreciation and respect
Deepens and strengthens our relationship with
ourselves/everything
Inviting honesty, focus, and clear intention
Helps us direct our energy and time more effectively
Encouraging and supporting our efforts to be authentic and live
according to our truths.

"If you live life fully, you won't have any last wishes" or regrets (161).

"If you feel the edges, and don't go there, you will stay in the Way.
That's how you live in the Tao" (171).

Random Thoughts

The witness is often assumed to be the true self. But if it does


not have space, time, place, energy, name, form, reference,
distinction, separation, and so on, what exactly is this self we're
talking about. This silent eye within the hurricane, centered
between trillions of particle beings we collectively call self. That
empty, but powerful space is no more the self than anything
else. The winds (thoughts) driven by desire and fears (fire), feed
by the moist waters (emotions) and consumed by attachments
and solidification (earth) a form arises that experiences life in
its unique manner, it's own little "i/eye", that dot way up above
the line...
While there are many ways to look at consciousness, two ways i
find helpful is to see it as a universal force like time, space,
energy, and matter, and secondly, as an emergent experience
arising from space/time and energy/matter interacting.
The Untethered Soul Summary

1-Sentence-Summary: The Untethered Soul describes how you can untie your self
from your ego, harness your inner energy, expand beyond yourself and float through the
river of life instead of blocking or fighting it.

Read in: 4 minutes

Favorite quote from the author:

Books and Oprah Winfrey have a two-way, positively reinforcing relationship: If Oprah
picks a book to show to her audience, those books sales are sure to go through the roof.
Vice versa, you can be sure that the book Oprah picked is a good one and that its made
a big impact on her.

So when Oprah interviewed Michael A. Singer in 2012, you can bet that she put a lot of
thought into why he was a good person to talk to: he explains spirituality in plain terms,
hes not a guru and makes what he describes as the untethered soul easy to understand
and attain for everyone.
His book of the same name is about reaching a state of well-being and acceptance by
letting life flow through you without ever blocking its stream of energy.

Here are my 3 favorite lessons:

1. There are two separate versions of you, and your personal self is just one of
them.

2. Your inner energy is real, and the more you can let it flow through you, the
better.

3. Think about death often to make sure your priorities are in the right order.

Want to untether your self from your consciousness without having to become a
recluse? Heres some spiritual sense for normal people!

Lesson 1: Your thoughts dont define you, theyre just


outputs of what your consciousness perceives.
We all have an inner monologue going. 24/7/365, our inner voice is talking, directing
how we navigate the world, and it rarely ever shuts off. The first step towards an
untethered soul is realizing that this happens, because only then can you stop, pause and
take a step back to look at whats going on.

After all, your thoughts dont define who you are. For example, if you often feel sad,
you might start to think youre just a sad person in general, when in reality, these
thoughts are nothing more than objects flowing through you it just so happens that
your inner voice keeps picking them up.

This distinction is important. Singer calls it the difference between your self and your
personal self. Your self is the pure stream of consciousness, that just keeps on flowing.
Your personal self is the identity you form, based on how your inner voice perceives
this stream of consciousness and the thought patterns that emerge from it.

Once you realize theres a difference, youll look at yourself in a whole different light.

Lesson 2: Inner energy, though intangible, is very


much real and the more you can let it flow, the better.
If youve ever had a surge of energy you couldnt really explain, or that at least didnt
seem to make sense from a physical standpoint, youve witnessed the power of the
mind.

For example, yesterday I was supposed to drive two hours to Frankfurt and meet up
with a bunch of old and new friends. When I woke up in the morning, I didnt feel too
good and thought about canceling the trip. Once I decided to go and sat in the car with
some music though, I suddenly felt like I could take on the world.
Some call it chakra, some call it chi, some call it shakti, but whatever you label it, this
inner energy we all have, though intangible, is very much real and you should never
underestimate it.

In the same way it can empower us, it can also drag us down if we block it. For
example, ever since I sent an email on Wednesday, I was anxious about the potential
reply Id get so my mind clung to it, I kept thinking about it and couldnt let it go.
This stressed me, and I could only let it go two days later, when I realized nothing bad
would happen.

Its important to learn to let such negative thoughts just pass through, so they wont
block your inner flow of energy.

Lesson 3: Death is what gives life meaning, so reflect on


it often.
Did you know that humans are the only beings that know in advance that they will one
day die? Imagine we didnt know! Wed probably live our lives really carelessly.

While death is one of our biggest fears (though not as big as public speaking), its also
what gives life meaning.

I keep re-learning this lesson, and since Ive been following Gary Vee a lot, I keep
getting reminded of it. Knowing that youre going to die and that your time on this
planet is finite is one of the single greatest ways to get you focused on what really
matters to you in life.

For example, if youre the jealous type and seeing your partner talk to someone else at a
party already makes you mad, imagine what youd want them to do once youre gone
does it really matter who they talk to, as long as theyre happy?

Whatever it is you want to do in your life, if its worth doing before you die, chances are
its very much worth doing right now. Dont wait. This is your only at bat.

My personal take-aways
Ill be the first to admit that it took me a while to get Michael Singers ideas, youll
have to think a bit to wrap your head around them, but once you do, theyre incredibly
powerful new ways of looking at the world. Im with Oprah on this one, thumbs up!

What else can you learn from the blinks?


More about your consciousness vs. your personal self

A relationship example of harnessing your inner energy

Why you should treat fear like a splinter


How to widen your consciousness to expand beyond yourself

What Tao is about and how it can help you become spiritually aware

Who would I recommend The Untethered Soul


summary to?
The 17 year old, who thinks of himself as just a sad and lonely person, the 43 year old
jealous type wife, and anyone whos tasted the power of an inner burst of energy before
they couldnt really explain.

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