Write your STORY

How to achieve everything that you want to

achieve in life
 LeadershipAdvantEdge.com

LeaderShift! Action Guides are designed to provide you with simple and straightforward steps to develop
in a particular area of your leadership.

Dr John Kenworthy All Rights Reserved

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Write your STORY! Page 2

Contents
Contents .................................................................................................................................................. 3
Write your STORY: How to achieve everything that you want to achieve in life ................................... 4
Knowing Yourself where are you now and where do you want to go? ........................................... 5
Knowing Yourself How did I get here? ............................................................................................. 6
How will I get there? ......................................................................................................................... 11
How will I close any gaps?................................................................................................................. 12
Johns example My own STORY ......................................................................................................... 13
How NOT to Write your STORY ......................................................................................................... 18

Write your STORY! Page 3

Write your STORY: How to achieve everything that you
want to achieve in life
In the next 60 minutes you will be crystal clear about where you are now, where you
want to go and how you are going to achieve your dreams. You will increase your own
engagement and productivity and that of any team member you choose to coach
through this process. Now, not everyone will want to do this. Some give up before they
start, others find the process too daunting, but then, those people dont truly want to
achieve their dreams because they're scared of success. But you, you're different, I can
tell, so find a comfortable spot, turn off all interruptions and get ready for a life-
changing hour.

Leadership guru Dr John C. Maxwell suggests in the Law of Awareness that self-
awareness is the key to knowing yourself. And there are seven questions to help you get
to know yourself.

In this exercise, reflect on these seven questions to know yourself better. We start with
understanding where you are now and where you would like to be in 10 or 20 years'
time and your purpose for achieving that dream. Then we will take our time to think of
specific incidences in your past when you were using your strengths and gifts and
thoroughly enjoying yourself. These times build up your STORY. Then we will align your
STORY to your DREAM and check if there are any gaps to close. Set aside an hour of
time and turn off all interruptions.

Work with a coach, mentor or buddy if you can and do this for all of your team. You will
be astounded with just how motivated and engaged everyone who does this remains.
Typically you will increase personal engagement by 25%, and productivity by 20% from
this exercise alone.

I even have a terrific version to use with your customers to build a deep trusting
relationship and know exactly how you can fulfil their needs with your products or
services. People who have used this approach with their customers report a four-fold
increase in sales!

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Knowing Yourself where are you now and where do you want to go?

1. Do you like what youre doing now? (Go well beyond - yes, or no. what I like... what I
don't like and be specific with examples)

If youre not enjoying what you do for a living, you need to take some time to
examine why.

So many people go through life doing a job merely to make a living. They never pursue
what lights their fire. It might be because they dont know their passion. It might be out
of fear. Whatever it is, its important to find out why and tackle it full force.

You might think of other instances at work where you enjoyed doing something exceedingly
well.

2. What would you like to do (say 10 or 20 years from now, no money issues, no
debt)? What is the story of your best future?

When you tap into your passion, it gives you the E & E factor: energy and
excellence.

Working on what youre passionate about gives you an advantage over others who are
doing work they despise. Listen to your heart and take note of what brings you joy and
excitement. Pursue what you want to do and what you love, and youll never work a day
in your life.

3. Do you know why you want to do what you would like to do?

Doing something for the right reasons also keeps life less cluttered and your path
clearer. Not only is your vision clearer, but you sleep well at night knowing youre on
the right track.

Motives matter. As leaders, we must look inside our hearts to determine the why behind the what.
Satisfaction and success come from doing things you are meant to do and doing them for the right
reasons.
You have the chance to pursue your life calling. However, you must reflect internally before moving
forward. When we know ourselves, we grow ourselves

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Knowing Yourself How did I get here?
Take your time to remember every details of that time, what you were doing, how it felt
and how you felt. Where were you? What was surrounding you? What caused you to do
what you are doing? What happened just before this moment? What happened
immediately afterwards? Who were you with? Who wasn't there? Is there a particular
smell that you recall? A taste perhaps? What else can you hear or see?

4. Think of a time, fairly recently, when you thoroughly enjoyed doing something
and believed that you did it exceedingly well. (This can be at work or home).

What were you doing?

How did you know how to do that? ("I just do it" or "I dunno" is
insufficient, think about how you do this activity)

Where were you?

Why were you there doing that?

Who else was there?

How did this make you feel?

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5. Think of a time, as a young child, when you thoroughly enjoyed doing
something and believed that you did it exceedingly well. (This can be at work or
home).

What were you doing?

How did you know how to do that? ("I just do it" or "I dunno" is
insufficient, think about how you do this activity)

Where were you?

Why were you there doing that?

Who else was there?

How did this make you feel?

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6. Think of a time, in your teens or early adulthood, when you thoroughly enjoyed
doing something and believed that you did it exceedingly well. (This can be at work
or home).

What were you doing?

How did you know how to do that? ("I just do it" or "I dunno" is
insufficient, think about how you do this activity)

Where were you?

Why were you there doing that?

Who else was there?

How did this make you feel?

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Now analyse the responses to the last three questions.

Highlight the VERBS in the responses, these are actions and likely to be
Strengths being demonstrated.

Underline the NOUNS in the responses. The nouns are the Topics - the
things or situations when you employ your strengths or talents.

Go through the answers to the question "Why were you there doing
that?", these are the TRIGGERS or the Optimal conditions that cause you
to employ your strengths.

Identify the PEOPLE in each experience. Who are they specifically or who
are they to you (the respondent)? These are the Relationships - people
who matter in the employment of your strengths.

Note value words from the question "How did that make you FEEL?" These
are the things that make you shout "Yes!!!!"

Summarize these below:

Question Strengths Topics Optimal Relationships Yes!!!!

Conditions
(Look for the (Look for (Who are the (The
VERBS in the the (What are the PEOPLE in the FEELINGS
experience) NOUNS) TRIGGERS?) experience) of success)

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 Question Strengths Topics Optimal Relationships Yes!!!!
Conditions
(Look for the (Look for (Who are the (The
VERBS in the the (What are the PEOPLE in the FEELINGS
experience) NOUNS) TRIGGERS?) experience) of success)

Common
threads

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How will I get there?
Now, return to the first question. If you are not enjoying what you do now, is it
possible that if you were employing your STRENGTHS and with these OPTMAL
CONDITIONS and with these RELATIONSHIPS that you would truly enjoy doing what you
do and thoroughly enjoy it?

If you are enjoying what you do now, if you employed your STRENGTHS regularly under
these OPTIMAL CONDITIONS with these RELATIONSHIPS that you would enjoy it more?

In the second question - Is it possible that if you employ your STRENGTHS in this TOPIC
and ensure that these OPTIMAL CONDITIONS occur with these RELATIONSHIPS that you
will do this?

Third question again: Does all this make you say YES!!!!

If so, you have found your STORY.

7. Can you do what you would like to do? Think about The strengths and talents you
have.... that support your dream.

You have to have some kind of criteria for knowing if the desire you have matches
the abilities you possess.

We all have dreams and passions. The question is: do your strengths fit in those dreams
and passions? Think about what you want vs. what you are good at. Do they align? Its
important that you do what you are good at in order to be successful.

Write your STORY! Page 11

How will I close any gaps?
8. (Yes, I know that I said there were seven questions. This is only for those of you who
think they might have a gap between what they want to do and their strengths?)

Are there any gaps between achieving what you want to achieve and the
strengths and talents that you have to support your achievement? i.e do you need
to develop in some other area? If so, what and how and when are you going to do this?

What I need to How I will develop When I will do

develop this this

Of course, if you want a terrific coach who will empower you to leverage your current
talents and strengths into these new areas, call me.

For those of you who dont need a coach because you can now achieve your dream,
then do please pass this on to someone who might need it and do let me know that this
has been helpful.

Write your STORY! Page 12

Johns example How I wrote my STORY
1. Do you like what youre doing now? (Go well beyond - yes, or no. what I like... what I don't
like and be specific with examples)
Most of the time I am in my element. I love to create new and simpler ways to help people
achieve what they want. I truly love delivering training and coaching. It gives me a huge buzz. I
like helping people. There are some things that I dont enjoy, more the business side of things.
The back and forth of meetings to sell, getting to the real needs and issues and cutting through
some of the superficial. Dont get me wrong, I'm good at it, I just dont especially enjoy that
part. Oh and I dont like to have to chase people for money. And it upsets me sometimes that
people forget to say Hi occasionally.

2. What would you like to do (say 10 or 20 years from now, no money issues, no debt)?
What is the story of your best future?

I'll still be training and coaching. More and more online and globally available because I dont
want the travel for work. Id like to be able to sit on the deck of a beach house in say Hoi An and
wrap up a coaching session. But the vast majority of things, my clients access online.
I'll be spending 6 months a year on vacation. Resting and relaxing and giving to the local
community - whether that's teaching English or perhaps Finance or Leadership to people in
Vietnam, say, or to new startups in Thailand who have fabulous ideas and very little money.
More like a social enterprise for half the time in the region. Six months in Singapore and
working, designing, writing and of course, delivering select workshops.

3. Do you know why you want to do what you would like to do?

The purpose for me is that I give back to people who need what I can give. I'm more an altruist
than a money person. I enjoy using the gifts God has given me, and I am very very good at it.
But when people dont pay, they dont commit themselves to the work. And I do enjoy my
holidays. And good food and good wine. I guess, I want it for the freedom it gives me to live a
relaxed and fulfilled life.

4. Think of a time, fairly recently, when you thoroughly enjoyed doing something and
believed that you did it exceedingly well. (This can be at work or home).
What were you doing?

Coaching a client online and he had that "aha" moment. He'd been struggling with taking
action - which is pretty common that people have great intentions but lack follow-through. But
I had used the SWING template, which really is a favourite of mine, and gotten him to take
action. Then, during our next session, he mentioned that he was having difficulty getting his
staff to take action on things. Oh, serendipity or what? It just so happened that the very issue I
had noticed with him, and had guided to resolve, was just what he needed to use. Oh I love
those moments, and I probably have one or two of those every single day.

How did you know how to do that? ("I just do it" or "I dunno" is insufficient, think about how
you do this activity)
Timing wise, that's not me at all! I go by my Spirit man, listen and observe what is being said
(and more what is being unsaid). I can imagine body language even online audio only and
easily read between the lines and get to the root of issues. Not everyone likes to go there, in
fact, probably noone likes to go there at first. But once they do and accept it, without
judgment, then we can move forward.

Write your STORY! Page 13

 Where were you?
In my office on my laptop

Why were you there doing that?

Scheduled session and that's where I spend most of my work day

Who else was there?

My client. My wife was behind me in the office and the puppy sleeping on the floor.

How did this make you feel?

Oh, I love those moments. When my intent listening and questioning opens an aha moment, a
brekathrough. Total joy.

5. Think of a time, as a young child, when you thoroughly enjoyed doing something and
believed that you did it exceedingly well. (This can be at work or home).
What were you doing?
Biking in the woods on my way home (or too, I cant quite recall) school. I had my brother's old
green Raleigh bike. A proper sit up and beg type and not at all suitable for rough riding in the
woods. But it was the only bike in the house, I didnt have my own. I would jump logs, swish
through narrow gaps between trees, ride down river beds, jump streams, hop around rocks. Id
be challenging my mates or playing war games with them.

How did you know how to do that? ("I just do it" or "I dunno" is insufficient, think about how
you do this activity)
Id learned how to ride a bike when I was about 3 or 4 I guess, firstly with training wheels, but
soon without. I've got good balance. I could see routes through trees that most people were
scared of taking. I just liked to take risks.

Where were you?

In the woods behind the playing field.

Why were you there doing that?

I'd spend hours out there if I didnt have to come home. It was, I think a way of escaping being
at home. Come to think of it I was probably avoiding chores and homework.

Who else was there?

Sometimes my mates, I remember Simon and Dave and Martin. We were in the same class .
More often I was on my own and with my invisible friend. I had a whole bunch of people in my
head.

How did this make you feel?

I love being in the woods. There's something magical about trees and shade but clear air and
the smell. Plus there's few people, especially off the track and deep in the woods. Freedom
again I think, the freedom to be me, on my own and exercising and playing and imagining
better ways, faster routes, higher jumps. It was fun.

6. Think of a time, in your teens or early adulthood, when you thoroughly enjoyed doing
something and believed that you did it exceedingly well. (This can be at work or home).
What were you doing?
Now that would be cooking. My first in charge and actually did know what I was doing.
deMarco's Restaurant in Manchester. I was head chef and all of 21.

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 I was cooking dinners for about 30 people that first night. Nothing terrible exotic, Tournedos
Rossini was a favourite in that place, but the best were my Porcetta roasts. Went down a
bomb. And a cheap cut to sell. The crackling that first night was beyond perfect.
I even put Zabaglione on the menu for dessert. And it was brilliant. Normally I;m not so good on
desserts, but this was the business.
Fantastic night and old de Marco was as happy as could be. We got drunk that night
afterwards and just enjoyed a party in the restaurant with all the staff. Good times.

How did you know how to do that?

I'd learned to cook from being 15 and learned the right combinations of ingredients. I'd been
taught fairly classical knew my basics thoroughly. But I have a knack for meats especially,
teasing the flavours out with subtle bastings or marinades. Nothing too over powering, I like
the death of an animal to be a celebration cuisine, and they dont deserve to have their death
garnished with chilli or something to take over the dish.

Where were you?

In the kitchen, my second secret heaven on earth. A kitchen is a truly functional space that
feeds the senses in every possible way. Or at least my kitchen is. Ideally it would have a big
farmers kitchen table in there, but that needs space. The kitchen is the beating heart of a
home.

Why were you there doing that?

I was still at Uni, studying Hotel management, but had to earn my living. And I cook. De
Marco's was my chance to be head chef, a small but up and coming restaurant. Sure it was
supposed to be Italian cooking, which was not my best, but soon learned from the recipes and
we did quite well.

Who else was there?

There were three of us in the kitchen. Yikes I forget their names now. Its a long time ago. Old
de Marco was there for sure. And there were two or three others in the restaurant. A couple of
cute girls I remember. And the customers of course. Heck, lots of people were there. It was
buzzing.

How did this make you feel?

Oh I was accomplished. I thought this was it. That I had arrived. Successful and exhausted and
happy all rolled into one.

Now analyse the responses to the last three questions.

1. Highlight the VERBS in the responses, these are actions and likely to be Strengths being
demonstrated.
2. Underline the NOUNS in the responses. The nouns are the Topics - the things or
situations when you employ your strengths or talents.
3. Go through the answers to the question "Why were you there doing that?", these are
the TRIGGERS or the Optimal conditions that cause you to employ your strengths.
4. Identify the PEOPLE in each experience. Who are they specifically or who are they to you
(the respondent)? These are the Relationships - people who matter in the employment
of your strengths.
5. Note value words from the question "How did that make you FEEL?" These are the things
that make you shout "Yes!!!!"
6. Summarize these below:

Write your STORY! Page 15

 Questio Strengths Topics Optimal Relationshi Yes!!!!
n (Look for (Look for the NOUNS) Conditions ps (The FEELINGS
the VERBS (What are the (Who are of success)
in the TRIGGERS?) the PEOPLE
experienc in the
e) experience)

4 Take risks Client What is said Client Aha moments.

Listen Without judgment (and unsaid) Annie and Joy,
Observe Session During a Yogi accomplished
Learned Issues session
guide Challenges Lack of follow
coaching Body language through
template inaction

5 Biking Woods On my way Mates Escape

Riding Home home Invisible Avoiding
Swish School Not suitable friend
Hop Bike for
Racing Logs Narrow gaps
Playing River
Jump Stream
Exercising Field
escaping Routes
Challenge

6 Cooking Ingredients Chance Staff Buzzing

learned Subtle flavours (opportunity) Customers Exhausted
Teasing Kitchen Owner
Basting Recipes

Commo Taking Home/kitchen Spotting the Clients Buzz

n risks, Templates/recipes gaps between customers
threads doing Client/customer/challe intention and family Excitement
something nge action/betwe Joy
new. Woods/rivers en what is accomplishme
Listening Routes said and nt
and unsaid
observing, Journeying
not home
judging
Gentle
teasing
Being
active,

Write your STORY! Page 16

 Now, return to the first question. If you are not enjoying what you do now, is it possible that if
you were employing your STRENGTHS and with these OPTMAL CONDITIONS and with these
RELATIONSHIPS that you would truly enjoy doing what you do and thoroughly enjoy it?
I shall add more buz (acticity) to my daily routine and more into my sessions.
If you are enjoying what you do now, if you employed your STRENGTHS regularly under these
OPTIMAL CONDITIONS with these RELATIONSHIPS that you would enjoy it more?

In the second question - Is it possible that if you employ your STRENGTHS in this TOPIC and
ensure that these OPTIMAL CONDITIONS occur with these RELATIONSHIPS that you will do
this?
Yes, and I will be more energetic and enjoy this more.
Third question again: Does all this make you say YES!!!!
Oh I am feeling it!

If so, you have found your STORY.

7. Can you do what you would like to do? Think about The strengths and talents you have....
that support your dream.
The missing piece here is my ability to build online paltforms which adds to this (it's just
another recipe that I follow after all :-) )
I like to work from home and journey to places where I can enjoy nature, the woods, rivers, sea
and so on. Be outdoors and very active.
The real missing piece is the marketing side of things. My ability to sell the opportunity. I can do
it, I just dont really enjoy that part of it.

You have to have some kind of criteria for knowing if the desire you have matches the
abilities you possess.

We all have dreams and passions. The question is: do your strengths fit in those dreams and
passions? Think about what you want vs. what you are good at. Do they align? Its important
that you do what you are good at in order to be successful.

8. (Yes, I know that I said there were seven questions. This is only for those of you who think
they might have a gap between what they want to do and their strengths?)
Are there any gaps between achieving what you want to achieve and the strengths and
talents that you have to support your achievement? i.e do you need to develop in some other
area? If so, what and how and when are you going to do this?
What I need to develop How I will develop this When I will
do this

In progress, through content marketing and Ongoing.

Marketing and selling LinkedIn, also EPM course By start 2017
mindset
Actions to actively get
clients

Finding Pimps

Write your STORY! Page 17

How NOT to Write your STORY
Some people treat this exercise flippantly and get nothing from it. This is a genuine
response from someone.

1. Do you like what youre doing now? (Go well beyond - yes, or no. what I like... what I don't
like and be specific with examples)
Yes, mostly

2. What would you like to do (say 10 or 20 years from now, no money issues, no debt)? What
is the story of your best future?
Rich and happy

3. Do you know why you want to do what you would like to do?
yes

4. Think of a time, fairly recently, when you thoroughly enjoyed doing something and
believed that you did it exceedingly well. (This can be at work or home).
What were you doing?
Presenting to the boss

How did you know how to do that? ("I just do it" or "I dunno" is insufficient, think about how
you do this activity)
I presented

Where were you?

In the office

Why were you there doing that?

It's mu job

Who else was there?

My boss

How did this make you feel?

good

You get the idea. Write little stories, full of verbs and nouns and rich with sensory
information. The richer the better.

Write your STORY! Page 18

Remember that applying best practices with discipline and consistency, even if the
actual steps seem trite or obvious, is what leads to results.

Thanks so much for downloading and using these WBT templates if you have any
feedback or comments you can reach me at johnk@LeadershipAdvantEdge.com

Dont settle,

John

P.S. If you would like to quadruple your sales with your team as several of my clients
have, I can teach you how to use a variation of this with your customers so that you
build deep and trusting relationships and find the sweet-spot of identifying their real
problems and your solutions.

Write your STORY! Page 19

 If you find anything that bugs you, please click on the bug
above to send me an email. Nothing is too small or too big.
And if I can, Ill be sure to fix it. Email me at:
johnk@LeadershipAdvantEdge.com