The Elephant and the Rider

How to Influence yourself (and others) to

change
 LeadershipAdvantEdge.com

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Dr John Kenworthy All Rights Reserved

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Contents
Contents .................................................................................................................................................. 3
Have you ever wondered why change is so tough? ............................................................................... 4
Most of us are all too familiar with situations in which our Elephant overpowers our Rider. ........... 4
All of us have a constant tension between our Rider, and our Elephant ............................................... 5
Changes often fail because the Rider simply cant keep the Elephant on the road long enough to
reach the destination. ......................................................................................................................... 5
But what may surprise you is that the Elephant also has enormous strengths and that the Rider
has crippling weaknesses. ................................................................................................................... 5
The trouble is we think that the Rider is in control ......................................................................... 6
Just how long can you carry the elephant? ........................................................................................ 6
Each has an emotional Elephant side and a rational Rider side. ........................................................ 6
Direct the Rider ....................................................................................................................................... 7
Find the Bright Spots ........................................................................................................................... 7
Script the Critical Moves ..................................................................................................................... 8
Point to the Destination ...................................................................................................................... 9
Motivate the Elephant .......................................................................................................................... 10
Find the Feeling................................................................................................................................. 10
Shrink the Change ............................................................................................................................. 11
Shape the Path ...................................................................................................................................... 13
Tweak the Environment .................................................................................................................... 13
Build Habits ....................................................................................................................................... 14
Rally the Herd.................................................................................................................................... 15

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Have you ever wondered why change is so tough?
Why is it, that with our very best intentions, we still find it difficult to make changes that
we know would be good for us? It seems that its down to our inner elephant.

Ive borrowed the analogy used by University

of Virginia psychologist Jonathan Haidt in his
wonderful book The Happiness Hypothesis.
Haidt says that our emotional side is an
Elephant and our rational side is its Rider.
Perched atop the Elephant, the Rider holds
the reins and seems to be the leader. But the
Riders control is precarious because the
Rider is so small relative to the Elephant.
Anytime the six-ton Elephant and the Rider
disagree about which direction to go, the
Rider is going to lose. Hes completely overmatched.

Most of us are all too familiar with situations in which our Elephant
overpowers our Rider.
Youve experienced this if youve ever overeaten, slept in, said something you regretted,
procrastinated, tried to quit smoking and failed, skipped the gym, gotten angry and lost
your temper, refused to speak up in a meeting because you were fearful, and so on.
Good thing no one is keeping score. Or are they?

For those of you with a very large ego and oozing with pride, you are already
disagreeing with me. Yes it is possible for the rider to have control over the elephant. No
doubt youve seen circus elephants and even know that they are trained from young by
being tied to a small stick. Later in life they are controlled with a nasty hook wielded by
their trainer.

Ive met people who have been similarly trained from young. Their parents keep a very
tight control and strict discipline. In later life they are highly disciplined and keep a tight
lid on their emotions. Sure it happens. All of those I have met, are sad, lonely people.

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All of us have a constant tension between our Rider, and
our Elephant
The weakness of the
Elephant, our emotional and
instinctive side, is well known:
Its lazy and skittish, often
looking for the quick payoff
(one scoop of ice cream
more) over the long-term
payoff (being slim). When
change efforts fail, its usually
the Elephants fault, since the
kinds of change we want
typically involve short-term
sacrices for long-term
payoffs. (We cut back on
expenses today to yield a better balance sheet next year. We avoid ice cream today for a
better body next year.)

Changes often fail because the Rider simply cant keep the Elephant on
the road long enough to reach the destination.
The riders intention to delay gratification is outmatched by the desire for the just this
once payoff. The Elephants hunger for instant gratication is the opposite of the Riders
strength, which is the ability to think long-term, to plan, to think beyond the moment (all
those things that your pet cant do).

But what may surprise you is that the Elephant also has enormous
strengths and that the Rider has crippling weaknesses.
The Elephant isnt always the bad guy. Emotion is the Elephants turflove and
compassion and sympathy and loyalty. That erce instinct you have to protect your kids
against harmthats the Elephant. That spine-stiffening you feel when you need to
stand up for yourselfthats the Elephant.

And even more important if youre contemplating a change, the Elephant is the one who
gets things done. To make progress toward a goal, whether its noble or crass, requires
the energy and drive of the Elephant. And this strength is the mirror image of the Riders
great weakness: spinning his wheels. The Rider tends to overanalyze and overthink
things. Chances are, you know people with Rider problems: your friend who can agonize
for twenty minutes

about what to eat for dinner; your colleague who can brainstorm about new ideas for
hours but cant ever seem to make a decision

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The trouble is we think that the Rider is in control
When Rider and Elephant disagree about which way to move, youve got a problem. The
Rider can get his way temporarilyhe can tug on the reins hard enough to get the
Elephant to submit. (Anytime you use willpower youre doing exactly that.) But the Rider
cant win a tug-of-war with a huge animal for long. He simply gets exhausted.

Self-control is an exhaustible resource. This is a crucial realization, because when we

talk about self-control, we dont mean the narrow sense of the word, as in the
willpower needed to ght vice (smokes, cookies, alcohol). Were talking about a broader
kind of self-supervision. Think of the way your mind works when youre giving negative
feedback to an employee, or assembling a new bookshelf, or learning a new dance. You
are careful and deliberate with your words or movements. It feels like theres a
supervisor on duty. Thats self-control, too.

Just how long can you carry the

elephant?
Heres why this matters for change:
When people try to change things,
theyre usually tinkering with behaviors
that have become automatic, and
changing those behaviors requires
careful supervision by the Rider. The
bigger the change youre suggesting,
the more it will sap peoples self-
control.

And when people exhaust their self-

control, what theyre exhausting are the
mental muscles needed to think creatively, to focus, to inhibit their impulses, and to
persist in the face of frustration or failure. In other words, theyre exhausting precisely
the mental muscles needed to make a big change.

So when you hear people say that change is hard because people are lazy or resistant,
thats just at wrong. In fact, the opposite is true: Change is hard because people wear
themselves out.

And thats the second surprise about change: What looks like laziness is often
exhaustion.

Each has an emotional Elephant side and a rational Rider side.

Youve got to reach both. And youve also got to clear the way for them to succeed. In
short, you must do three things:

Direct the Rider, Motivate the Elephant and Shape the Path for them both to travel.

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Direct the Rider
Find the Bright Spots
Ask the Exception Question.
When does the problem youre fighting not happen?

When does your teenager not talk back?

When have the two warring departments collaborated instead of feuding?

When does your front-line employee show a customer- service focus?

Ask the Miracle Question.

You wake up in the morning and your problems are solved. Whats the first small sign
that things have changed?

Remember, youre not defining the miracle itselfe.g., it would be a miracle if your
marriage was great, you got a big bonus at work, and your community experienced a big
economic turnaround (like the opposite of a Country & Western song, except your dog
would also have to come back). Rather, youre trying to find something concrete you can
work toward and the first small sign will do this for you. The Exception Question is the
most useful question to start with, but the Miracle Question will help if you cant think of
any existing bright spots.

Make sure your bright spot is about YOU.

Bright spots are not the same as benchmarking. The fact that someone else is
outperforming you on some front does not mean that theyre a bright spot. (It wouldnt
be helpful, after all, to tell an alcoholic that a sober person is a bright spot.) People
resist being told, Why arent you more like your sister? Bright spots are specific to the
individual (or team).

Where are YOU succeeding now, or where have YOU succeeded before?

By pinpointing those moments, you can avoid triggering the not invented here
reaction. You can reassure people that theyre capable of solving their own problems.

What is working today, and how can you do more of it?

Are there certain people, teams or units that are leading the way? Are there certain
managers or salespeople who exemplify the direction youre headed? If so, those are
your bright spots. You should go shadow them and figure out what theyre doing thats
making their performance better than others.

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Script the Critical Moves
Be clear about how people should act.

This is one of the hardestand most importantparts of the framework. As a leader,

youre going to be tempted to tell your people things like: Be more innovative! Treat
the customer with white-glove service! Give better feedback to your people! But you
cant stop there. Look for the behaviours.

Pick one place to start.

You may have a list of 20 things youd like to accomplish but can you rank-order them?
What would be the most cost-effective way of making progress? Remember, you dont
need to develop the complete battle plan, you just need to take a substantial step
toward your final destination. Go for the Power of the First Step.

If you cant nail it exactly, consider the best approximation.

For a change effort to work, leaders have to transform aspirations into actions. And
there isnt always a neat, elegant translation. Think up some behavioural
approximations.

Imagine saying the following sentence to youself: If I act this way

then I cant help but get closer to the goal. How would you fill in the blank? Whats the
best approximation for you?

Kill the abstractions exercise.

Take your change appeal and put a squiggly line under every abstraction (i.e., everything
that wouldnt create a clear mental picture in the mind of your grandmother, front-line
employee, customer, etc.) How many abstractions can you just get rid of? For the few
critical concepts that remain, can you come up with a specific example?

Evaluate your critical move candidates.

If youre trying to decide between different critical moves for your team, try assessing
your options using the following checklist. Put checkmark beside how many features a
particular move would have. Give priority to critical moves that evoke more parts of the
framework.

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Point to the Destination
Can you paint a rich, detailed picture of what the right destination looks like?

People do what people see.

The richer the vision, in all five senses, the more attractive (and easy to communicate) it
becomes. When we know where we are going, its so much easier to find it when we get
near.

Avoid metrics as destinations.

Metrics make poor destinations. SMART goals are fine but they should also be inspiring
enough to motivate the Elephant. Same goes for financial goalsreturn on equity or
gross margin targets are not going to inspire many people.

Use metrics to measure progress to the destination.

Does it pass the Champagne Test?

Is your destination clear enough that people will know when to celebrate? This has been
called the Champagne Test. Would you know when to crack the bottle of the
champagne? Consider JFKs 1961 call to put a man on the moon. Its pretty obvious
when the champagne should flow! Does your destination pass the test?

If backsliding is a problem, consider a B&W goal. Do you consistently

miss/ignore/underperform the behaviors that are expected and then try to rationalize
away the failure, in the way that people on a diet do? (It was such a hard day that I
needed that ice cream.) If so, then consider setting a B&W goal. Set a goal that brooks
no dissent. Its always or never, all or nothing.

But B&W goals create a danger of demoralization if you dont meet them consistently.
For instance, think of the dieters who blow their diet a few times and then give up, going
back to chips and Ben & Jerrys on a daily basis. To avoid that kind of overreaction to
failure, see the section on the growth mindset.

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Motivate the Elephant
Find the Feeling

Knowing something isnt enough, make them feel

something.
No-one ever achieved anything because it was a good idea to do it. They achieved it
because they felt good by achieving it. Human beings are selfish creatures. We do
something, using our energy, time, effort, skills, and money and so on because we will
gain something of greater value than the cost of getting it.

Can you make the need for change visual?

Things you see are more likely to evoke emotion than things you read. Create a picture
of the result if the change is not made?

Negative vs. positive emotion.

Negative emotions are effective to motivate people to tackle short-run challenges that
require clear, forceful action. Theyre less effective when people need to think flexibly or
creatively. Which do you need? If you need to inspire positive emotion, can you point to
a bright spot that reminds people that theyve succeeded in the past?

The camera crew thought experiment.

Imagine that, in making the case for change to your people, you werent allowed to
speak to them directly. Instead, you had a camera crew at your disposal who would film
anything you wanted them to film, and you could pick any 10 minutes of footage that
they shot. What would be happening in that footage?

The pivotal testimonial.

Imagine that you can show your colleagues a video of one person talking, and the video
has to persuade them that change is necessary. Who is the person? An employee whos
seen problems firsthand? A customer whos sick and tired of the status quo? A
competitor who is light-years ahead of you on something?

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Shrink the Change
Break down the change until it doesnt scare the elephant
Can you put 2 stamps on your teams passbook?

Here are some candidates for the two stamps: How far have you come in the last week?
Month? Quarter? Year? Decade? Does looking at the historical overview give you
confidence that you can tackle the current challenge which may look small in
comparison?

Think in terms of ones.

When people dread change, shrink it down as much as you can. Can you try a new
approach on one customer? Can you spend one minute practicing the new sales pitch?

Plan for small wins.

Burnout happens when a person confronts the same problems, over and over, without
feeling progress. What is a clear milestone that youll recognize enough to celebrate?

Dont let success feel too distant.

Are you being specific with your goals? How long do you have to wait before you have a
sense of how yourre doing? If the answer is months, you have the wrong goals. If its
hours or days, thats great.

Think week.

Grow the Person

Cultivate a sense of identity and instill a growth mindset

I aspire to be the kind of person who would make the change.

Would you agree with that statement? If so, you dont have an identity challenge. If not,
you do.

The adjective test.

What do you pride yourself on? Which one adjective would most flatter you? Creative?
Hard-nosed? People-focused? Customer- obsessed? Honest? Frugal? Etc. If that adjective
seems like one that many people would agree, then youre probably on the right track
toward finding the right identity.

Can you appeal to an identity that already exists?

Doctors and nurses respond to identity as healers. Parents respond to their identity as
Moms and Dads. Citizens will respond to their identity as Singaporeans, Brits. People of
faith respond to identity as Christians, Muslims, Budhists.

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Lead a discussion about the growth mindset.

Diagnose whether they have the fixed or growth mindset. Share some of the research
showing that the growth mindset is essential to realize your potential. If people have a
fixed mindset they may see hard work and effort as signs that the problem is intractable
or that they are not the right kind of people to tackle itcan you help them understand
that they are building muscle that will pay off in the future?

Can you instil the idea that failing is often the best way to learn?

In fact, some would argue that if you have never failed, you havent tried hard enough.
Especially if you have yet to truly succeed.

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Shape the Path
Tweak the Environment
When the situation changes, the behaviour changes

Emphasize tweak.

You dont need to rearrange the walls in your building. Small changes are easier to
manifest, easier to sustain and easier to habitualize.

Do a 5-min rescue on your environment.

What one thing can you shift to make the right behaviours more likely?

Can you run the McDonalds playbook?

Think of the way McDonalds designs its environment so that its employees can deliver
food with incredible consistency, despite a lack of work experience (or an excess of
motivation). They pay obsessive attention to every step of the process. The ketchup
dispenser, for instance, isnt like the one in your fridge. It has a plunger on top that,
when pressed, delivers precisely the right amount of ketchup for one burger. That way,
if you have to deliver 10 burgers in a minute, you dont have to think at all. You just
press the plunger 10 times. Have you looked at your own operations through that lens?
Have you made every step as easy as possible on your employees?

Avoid the Fundamental Attribution Error.

Think about the people who are resisting the change efforts at work. Are you guilty of
the Fundamental Attribution Error with them? (I.e., have you concluded that they are
foot-draggers or fossils?) Focus on behaviour, not the person.

Can you 1-Click your process?

Amazon has made millions of dollars because of its 1-Click Ordering button. All that
button did was remove 1 or 2 steps from the normal checkout process. What 1 or 2
steps can you remove from the normal course of business for your employees?

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Build Habits
Habits are free. Set action triggers

Set an action trigger.

The power of action triggers is that decisions are pre-loaded. If you want to act in a
new way (adopting a new exercise plan, being more diligent about your managerial
reviews, etc.), picture the exact time and situation when you will execute the plan. For
instance, I will check in on Julies progress tomorrow morning right after Ive poured my
first cup of coffee. (Note: the best action triggers are unique. Putting up the fifth Post-It
note on your desk, or the 23rd calendar reminder in your email program is unlikely to
act as a good cue.)

Can you piggyback a new habit on an old one? Its easiest to start a new routine when
you can build it onto an existing routine that happens at a regular time and place. If you
often forget to take your vitamins in the morning, put the vitamin bottle on top of the
toothpaste.

You know youre going to remember to brush your teeth, so you can piggyback your
vitamin habit on your tooth- brushing habit. Similarly, it might be easier for hospitals to
get doctors to wash their hands if they put sanitizer levers beside the trays where they
pick up a patients chart squeeze and rub before picking up the chart.

Create a checklist.

Suppose you had a five-item checklist for the most important routines in your business.
What 5 things do you need to do every time? (Note were not advocating long checklists.
The preflight checklist to launch a 747 is less than a page!)

The Rule of Five

If you take an axe and swing at the tree just five times every single day, eventually, the
tree will come down. If you had to do just five things every day, what are those five
things.

Publicize your action triggers.

What is the aspect of your change efforts that people tend to put off, or that tends to
get displaced in favour of more urgent work? Share your action triggers with others,
they will help you remain accountable.

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Rally the Herd
Behaviour is contagious. Help it spread

Use their identity as a path

When someone identifies themselves with a clear, understood identity, the path may be
pre-shaped.

Be smart about social pressure.

Social pressure will influence others to conform. But beware if only a minority is doing
something. Publicizing this fact may lead others to slack off.

If people embrace change, make sure their actions are visible.

People who resist change may tend to cluster together and create a kind of echo
chamber. They may conclude, falsely, that most people dislike the new direction as
much as they do. As a manager, you can help fight the echo chamber by showcasing
people who are actively supporting the change. Shine a spotlight on the early signs of
success.

If theres a bright spot, make sure everyone knows about it.

Remember that applying best

practices with discipline and
consistency, even if the actual steps
seem trite or obvious, is what leads
to results.

Thanks so much for downloading

and using these WBT templates if
you have any feedback or comments
you can reach me at
johnk@LeadershipAdvantEdge.com

Dont settle,

John

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 If you find anything that bugs you, please click on the bug
above to send me an email. Nothing is too small or too big.
And if I can, Ill be sure to fix it. Email me at:
johnk@LeadershipAdvantEdge.com