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Turning 50 was a serious moment.

I could imagine the shores of the sea, called my


life. Now I am 60, and I recognize, that if I want to do something, now is the time.

The D word in our culture evokes great fear and denial. As sex was hidden in
Victorian times, death is the disgrace of modern life. In our society, death is not
viewed as part of life. Rather, it is seen as the enemy. Growing older is inevitable
but despised and considered the beginning of the end. Our value decreases with
each year.

This confrontation with mortality brings about a period of intense upheaval and
emotional instability. Feelings long buried under piles of responsibilities abruptly
appear. Mid-life crises are nothing to sneer at. Marriages come to an end. Maturing
careers are tossed away. Children are abandoned. Depression and anxiety surface.

Unresolved issues from adolescence, like acne, poke their ugly heads up from the
ancient past. Adults, who were good campers as teen-agers, become rebellious.
Mature men and women imagine flings with younger partners. Middle-aged adults
ask themselves, Who am I? What do I want? What is important to me? How do I
want to live? Middle age triggers a new identity crisis.

A period of re-evaluation in mid- life is healthy. Growing responsibilities of family


and work tend to obscure deeply felt needs. These needs may be unrecognized and
unfulfilled. Previous generations of adults worried only about security. But in this
generation, men and women want meaning, purpose and experiences. Having
choices that our parents never had can bring on intense anxiety and fear. What if I
make the wrong choice? What if I miss out on an experience I always wanted to
have? Adults in mid-life are keenly aware that choosing one path now may preclude
taking another road later.

Here is some advice to consider:

Take stock. Look at your life with a friendly, but discerning eye. Re-examine your
childhood, adolescence and young adulthood. Identify major themes, conflicts and
needs that shaped your choices at different times in your life.
Evaluate your priorities. Are you doing what you want to be doing? Have you
always wanted to scuba dive? To take up stargazing? To learn to play the piano?
Theres no time like the present.
Examine your relationships. Are they meeting your needs? Are you giving all you
can? This may be the time to invigorate your relationships and let go of ones that
are stale.
Mid-life presents great opportunities to reshape your priorities for the coming
decades. It is also a time to accept and honor yourself and the people you love.

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