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IMPORTANCE OF FEEDBACK IN INTERPERSONAL RELATIONS

Ugly Moscovici
Feedback
In the process of development of interpersonal competence, feedback is a process
to help change behavior, communication is a person or group in order to provide
you with information about their performance is affecting other people. Effecti
ve feedback helps the individual (or group) to improve their performance and rea
ch their goals. For feedback useful, it is essential that: 1. Be specific rather
than generic Telling someone that he is being dominant, will probably not be as
effective as saying "when we were deciding on the project" X ", you seemed to b
e paying attention to what others were talking."
2. Describe the situation, not to evaluate Describe the reaction of someone with
out trial, increases the possibility of the person or take the feedback as to th
eir perception of the event. So she can hear and feel free to use that informati
on as it sees fit, without defensive reactions.
3.
Take into consideration the needs of those who will receive it
The feedback is only useful when it meets the needs of both parties involved.
4.
Be given at the right time
In general the feedback is more useful after the event observed, depending, of c
ourse, the willingness of people to hear him and the emotional climate resulting
from the situation.
5. Is directed to the issues on which the receiver has control The memory of fau
lt on which the person has no control serves only to feed frustrations.
6. Ensure clear communication is important to ask the receiver to describe the f
eedback in their own words, to verify the accuracy of your understanding.
ABSTRACT
Feedback should then be: Specific Purpose course Timely Neutral Applicable
Why is Dif IIC Receiving Feedback?
It is difficult to accept our inefficiencies, and even admit them to others publ
icly. The issue of trust in another person is critical, especially in work situa
tions or others that may affect our status or image. We also fear what the other
person thinks about us. We feel that our independence is being violated or that
the support that we expect is being denied. When we realize that we are helping
to keep the problem and we will need to change to solve it, we react defensivel
y: we stop listening (turned off), we deny the validity of the feedback, aggress
communicator also pointing out their mistakes so on. Sometimes solving a proble
m may mean discover and recognize some aspects of our personality that we have a
voided or wished to avoid even thinking.
Why is Dif cil Give Feedback?
We like to give advice and thus we feel competent and important. Hence the dange
r of thinking about feedback as a way to show our intelligence and skill, instea
d of thinking about its usefulness to the receiver and your goals. We can respon
d only to one aspect of what we see in the behavior of the other, depending on o
ur own motivations, and thus we become partial and evaluative. We may fear the r
eactions of others - their hurt, their aggression, etc.., Ie the feedback is mis
understood, because in our culture, feedback is still perceived as critical and
has implications for emotional (affective) and very strong social, in terms of f
riendship (or its negation), status, power and social recognition. Often, the pe
rson is not prepared, psychologically, to receive feedback or do not want or fee
l is necessary. We must pay attention to these aspects of null or weak perceptua
l readiness, which are real bottlenecks to interpersonal communication. If we in
sist on feedback, one can doubt our reasons for doing so deny the validity of da
ta, streamline looking justified etc.
How to Overcome Difficulties
1) Establishing a relationship of mutual trust to reduce the barriers between co
mmunicator and receiver. 2) Recognizing that feedback is a process of joint exam
ination. 3) Learning to listen, to receive feedback without emotional reactions
(defensive) intense. 4) Learning to give feedback skillfully, without intense em
otional connotations. We all need feedback both positive and negative. We need t
o know what we're doing poorly, but also what we do with fitness, so we can corr
ect the inefficiencies and keep the hits. The data pertaining to subjective feel
ings and emotions are also important in the feedback process. For example: "When
you do that, I felt a very unpleasant situation." This is not intended to inval
idate the reasons for another person, just indicate how the action reflected in
us.€We do not know who did this, know, however, how their behavior made us feel
. When we receive feedback from a person, we must confront it with other people'
s reactions to see if we should change our behavior in general or only in relati
on to that person.
Feedback Group
The group also needs to receive information about their performance. He may need
to know if the atmosphere is defensive, if there is too much rigidity in proced
ures, if there is subtilization of people and resources, what degree of confiden
ce in the leader and other information about their level of maturity as a group.
The same issues involved in individual feedback are present in the group to a g
reater or lesser degree. Thus the group can receive feedback: 1) members acting
as participant-observers. 2) members selected to perform a specific function for
the observer group. 3) Consultants and specialists who come to make observation
s, making use of more objective perspective.
4) forms, questionnaires, response sheets, interviews.
As the members mature and develop their skills in giving and receiving individua
l feedback, they become also adept at giving feedback to the group as a whole, w
here necessary and appropriate.
Communication Skills to Be Developed
The development of interpersonal competence requires the acquisition and improve
ment of certain communication skills for ease of understanding. These skills nee
d to be trained and practiced constantly for greater efficiency results. Among t
he first interpersonal communication skills can be shown to paraphrase the descr
iption of behavior, verification of perception and description of feelings, whic
h are valuable resources for the feedback process useful.
1. Paraphrase
Is to say in his own words, what the other said. You enunciates the idea of anot
her with his usual vocabulary, gives an example showing what you think about, or
otherwise, shows another the meaning of what you have learned from what he said
. A good paraphrase is usually more specific than the original statement. The ab
ility to paraphrase involves attention, active listening and empathy. A paraphra
se is a genuine neutral feedback to the sender of the message. For example: "Is
this (statement) the correct expression of your idea?" Or, "Is this (event speci
fic) an example of what you said?". Paraphrase of the resulting two main benefit
s: 1) Increase of accuracy of communication and, consequently, mutual understand
ing or shared. 2) The act of paraphrase itself conveys a sense: his interest in
the other, his concern to see how he sees things.
A typical example: Carlos: "Mario is not meant to be a manager." A paraphrase: "
Do you think he is not doing well in office?" (Very general, vague. If Carlos ag
ree, you will not know what he meant by "no use" and will have the illusion of h
aving understood.) B paraphrase: "You mean that Mario is dishonest" (Carlos Espe
cÍfico. can answer: "No, Mario is honest, but do not plan things and forget det
ails." This leads to paraphrase an explanation of the meaning of the phrase "doe
s not serve ".) You can also get clarification directly asking:" What do you mea
n by that? "or" not understood what you said. "However, when you use a paraphras
e, you are showing your understanding of time and thus enables the party specifi
cally to clarify the message in relation to the understanding that you showed. B
efore agreeing or disagreeing with a statement, you should ensure that you are r
esponding to the message sent to the other. Paraphrasing is one way to test your
understanding of the message before reacting to it.
2. Description of behavior consists of reporting specific actions are observed,
the other without making judgments or generalize their motives, or personality t
raits. You can inform others that the behavior you are reacting through very cle
ar and specific description. It is important to describe visible evidence, or ob
servation of behavior accessible to anyone present. Example: "This is the third
time you agree with me and said adding" but "and then express exactly the opposi
te point of view." Luis Alfredo and talked almost the whole time and we stand no
chance, practically speaking. "
The ability to describe behavior requires the reporting of observable actions wi
thout: 1) Make them a trial value as right or wrong, good or bad, or misuse, 2)
making accusations or generalizations about motives,€attitudes or personality t
raits of someone else. It means, finally, avoid describing personal traits and i
ntentions, or interpret the other person's behavior, restricting themselves to d
escribe the observable behavior of another person. A comparative example: "John,
you're opposed to everything that Henry is suggesting today"-instead of "John,
you are negative and contrary to Henry all the time." This is not a description
but a charge of negative motives. To develop the ability to describe behavior, y
ou will have to improve their ability to observe what actually occurs. As this i
s happening, you may also find that many of his assertions and conclusions are l
ess based on observable evidence than in his own feelings of anger, affection, i
nsecurity, jealousy, fear or joy. It is very important to develop this skill if
you want to give useful feedback. At the same time constitutes a valuable learni
ng to understand how you respond to messages that the other is not sent, as you
distort the signals, how you communicate messages without realizing it and how o
thers see you differently than your self-image. The process as a whole, it is ex
tremely necessary for effective communication and developing interpersonal skill
s.
3. Verification of perception consists in saying their perception of what the ot
her is feeling, so make sure you're also understanding their feelings, beyond th
e content of words. Examples: "I have the impression that you got hurt by my com
ment. Is it true? "" I feel that you would like to change the subject. It is cor
rect that feeling? "" You seem to be more at home now or is it just my imaginati
on? "Through the ability to observe and report on perceptions of feelings, you c
an come to understand other people better, because the communication takes place
through multiple simultaneous channels whose signals must be captured so that t
he messages are meaningful total.
Furthermore, the communication becomes truly shared, with the concern to underst
and the ideas, information and suggestions and at the same time as the sender is
feeling when you send messages and understand how they are being received. Ofte
n, the sender is not aware of nonverbal signals sending and convey emotional mes
sages that can facilitate, hinder or contradict the verbal message principal. Th
e process of checking perceptions becomes one of the most useful feedback and le
arning for the issuer. This ability is one of the best exercises to develop the
capacity for empathy, in which accurate observation, comparison with feelings an
d self-positing already experienced over the other are combined, leading to grea
ter mutual understanding and interpersonal skills for life in common.
4. Description of feelings is to identify or specify feelings verbally, either t
hrough the name of feeling, of figures of speech or of impulse to action. Some e
xamples: 1) "I feel embarrassed." "I love you." (Identification of feelings by n
ame) 2) "I want to hug everyone. (Impulse action) 3) "I feel like a trapped bird
. (Figure of speech) 4) "Melt me to look at their eyes." (Figure of speech) Veri
fication of perception and discretion of feelings are communication skills to he
lp others understand him as a person because you send them what they do in terms
of what affects you personally or as a member of a group and, especially, revea
ls to the other so clearly and spontaneous as possible, what you feel.
In summary, the key skills of communication are: PARAPHRASE â ¢ Repeat what the ot
her said
DESCRIPTION OF BEHAVIOR â ¢ Reporting of specific actions, observable
VERIFICATION OF PERCEPTION â ¢ Reporting on the perception of the feelings of anot
her
DESCRIPTION OF FEELINGS â ¢ Identification and specification of feelings verbally
From the book Interpersonal Development: Training Group, Ugly Moscovici, Rio de
Janeiro, José Olympio Ed, 1995.