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Ministry

Ministry is the international journal of the


Seventh-day Adventist Ministerial Association and has been
published since 1928.

Being healthy amid pastoral stress Association Secretary Pastoral Assistant Editors
James A. Cress John C. Cress, Fredrick Russell,
Maintaining perspective in personal, family, and pastoral life Maylan Schurch, Loren Seibold
Editor
LarryYeagley Willmore D. Eva International Advisors
A. Abdulmajid, Alejandro Ballon,
Assistant Editor Jaime Castrejon, Victor P.
Julia W. Norcott
10 Editorial Assistant
Krushenitsky, Carlos Martin,
Gabriel Maurer, Joel Musvosvi,
Balance in the budget Sheila Draper David Osborne, Paul Ratsara,
Peter Roennfeldt, John Willmott,
Implementing the practical and spiritual principles Professional Growth and Eric Winter, R. A. Zeeman
Inter-church Relations
of money management in the pastorate Nikolaus Satelmajer Pastoral Advisors
Leslie Baumgartner, S. Peter
Claire Eva Contributing Editors Campbell, Miguel A. Cerna,
Sharon Cress Jeanne Hartwell, Mitchell
Peter Prime Henson, Greg Nelson, Norma
14 Joel Sarli
Kit Watts
Osborn, Leslie Pollard, Dan
Smith, Steve Willsey
Can these bones live again? Consulting Editors Advertising
Ten keys to turning declining churches around Matthew Bediako, Ben Ministry Editorial Office
Clausen, Raoul Dederen,
Subscriptions and Circulation
Stephen Grunlan Teofilo Ferreira, Ron Flowers,
Jeannette Calbi
John M. Fowler, Michael
Hasel, Roland Hegstad, Resources
18 Kathleen Kuntaraf, Ekkehardt
Mueller, Jan Paulsen, Robert
Cathy Payne
Cover Illustration
Celebrating our differences Peach, George Reid, Angel
Rodriguez, Penny Shell, Ray Driver
Handling and capitalizing upon the differences in the clergy couple William Shea, Russell Cover Design
Staples, Richard Tibbits, Harry Knox
Ron and Karen Flowers Edward Zinke

21 Subscriptions: 12 issues (double issue for June-


July): United States us$29.95; Canada and overseas
Simplicity for the bitter us$31.50; airmail us$41.50; single copy us$3.00. To
The pastor's day order, send name, address, and payment to
Jeannette Calbi, Ministry Subscriptions, 12501 Old
Susan Marks Columbia Pike, Silver Spring, MD 20904 U.S.A.
Subscription queries and address Changes:
22 E-mail: calbij@gc.adventist.org; fax: 301-680-6502;
Scholarship and the call to ministry telephone: 301-680-6503.
The importance of ongoing scholarship in pastoral ministry To Writers: We welcome unsolicited manuscripts.
Editorial preference is to receive manuscripts on
Randall L. Roberts diskette with name, address, telephone and fax
numbers, and Social Security number (if U.S.
24 citizen). Send editorial correspondence to 12501
Old Columbia Pike, Silver Spring, MD 20904-6600.
Seminary education: Its limits Phone: 301 -680-6510; fax: 301 -680-6502;
The role and limitations of the seminary in training pastors e-mail: norcottj@gc.adventist.org or
Donald W. McCullough drapers@gc.adventist.org (editorial offices).
Writer's Guidelines available on request.
26 Ministry (ISSN 0026-5314), the international
journal of the Seventh-day Adventist Ministerial
Sex and the parsonage Association 2000, is published monthly (except
Maintaining healthy sexual perspectives in the parsonage for June-July, when a double issue will be
published) by the General Conference of Seventh-
Alberta Mazat day Adventists and printed by Pacific Press Pub.
Assn., 1350 N. Kings Road, Nampa, ID 83687-3193.
30 Member Associated Church Press. Standard mail
Something new for PKs postage paid at Nampa, Idaho.

Shawna and Nelita Trotman PRINTED IN THE U.S.A.

VERY I S S U Vol. 73 Number 1

Bible credits: Texts credited to NIV are from the Holy Bible,
3 Letters 29 Pastor's Pastor New International Version. Copyright 1973,1978,1984,
International Bible Society. Used by permission of
4 Editorial Zondervan Bible Publishers. Texts credited to NKJVare
from The New King James Version. Copyright 1979
1980,1982, Thomas Nelson, Inc., Publishers.

2 Ministry/January 2000
Still the world's greatest job Adventist. Thank you. I just hope that drapers@gc. adventist.org. Please
Wow...! Vernon Grounds, Ph.D., pastors will preach this message rather include your name, mailing address,
who authored the article "Still the than the confused "doing away with and telephone number.
World's Greatest Job" (September the sacrificial law but not the moral
1999) created a masterpiece in describ law" expositions, omitting the Thank you for Ministry
ing the purpose, honor, and work of essential truth of the written code Thank you very much for
our pastors. It should be recommended being translated by a living Saviour Ministry. It has surely been a blessing
reading for all seminaries. Such into life itself, including the blessing to me. It brings up subjects that are
knowledge, wisdom, and insight to of the Sabbath. relevant in almost every church, and
identify what really is important and Because of articles like this, the experiences and insights that are
worthwhile. This article will support Ministry is an essential part of my shared have been of great importance
and re-enthuse every pastor regarding household. Thanks again. Helen to a lot of us. A big thank you! And
his or her choice of vocation and effort. Thompson, via Internet: may the Lord continue to bless you in
Doctor Vern: I too, want to "stay on the helenth@bmi.net the work you do for Him. Monica
wall" with Brother Nehemiah.... Don't R. Halvorsen, Drammen, Norway.
come down, but please, send a few I have read with interest the
more articles to Ministry for publica editorial "Why the Seventh-day?" in September 1999 Letters
tion and appreciation of its many the July issue of Ministry. I'm looking Pastor Hopps detects a fallacy in
readers from all faiths. Richard Lane, forward to the follow-up in Septem my article because he fails to make an
first elder, Metropolitan Detroit ber. In light of the Ratzliff documents important distinction and because he
Seventh-day Adventist Church. and the totally unfortunate video tape puts the wrong words into my mouth.
being shown, I would like to suggest When I said that Mrs. White's
Editorials on the Sabbath that you print in "long-John" format a writings afford insight into "it," the
I really appreciated your two-part slightly edited version of the two "it" refers to inspiration, not "the
article on "Why the Seventh Day?" I articles put together. formation of the canon" (words that
totally agree with your analysis and Short, unapologetic, biblical, and Hopps wrongly ascribes to me). He
conclusions regarding the Sabbath. to-the-point material is much needed fails to distinguish between inspira
Our Lord Jesus Christ never abro to meet the situation in which many tion and canonicity, which are two
gated this day, and as you say, the of our people find themselves, not different things, just as inspiration
early church continued to practice it knowing exactly how to explain and inerrancy are two different things.
with passion and consistency. We Ratziliff's outdated and time-worn There have been many inspired
know that Sunday as the day of arguments. William Loveless, writings and other utterances that are
worship came about through political pastor, Loma Linda University not in the canon (some of them
maneuvering on the part of the Church, Loma Linda, California. mentioned in the Bible). A canon is
Roman government and the religious an agreed-upon list or corpus by
institution of the time. Keep up the Note: A pamphlet version of the which other writings and doctrines
good work. Anglican priest. two articles will be available at nominal are tested. We test Ellen White's
cost through Ministry later this year. writings by the Bible, not the other
Will Eva's recent two-part article To request your copy, write to way around, and that is what makes
"Why the Seventh Day?" is simply the Ministry, 12501 Old Columbia Pike, the Bible canonical, while Ellen
most thorough, scholarly, and sensible Silver Spring, Maryland 20904. You White's writings are not. But both are
explanation I have ever read on this may also e-mail your request to us at inspired. Robert M. Johnston, via
topic during my many years as an norcottj@gc.adventist.org or Internet: bobjohn@andrews.edu

Free Subscription If you're receiving Ministry bimonthly and haven't paid for a subscription, it's not a mistake. Since 1928 Ministry has been
published for Seventh-day Adventist ministers. We believe, however, that the time has come for clergy everywhere to experience
a resurgence of faith in the authority of Scripture and in the great truths that reveal the gospel of our salvation by grace, through faith alone in Jesus Christ.
We want to share our aspirations and faith in a way that will provide inspiration and help to you as clergy. We hope you will accept this journal as our
outstretched hand to you. Look over our shoulder, take what you want and find helpful, and discard what you can't use. Bimonthly gift subscriptions are
available to a/I licensed and/or ordained clergy. Requests should be on church letterhead and addressed to the editorial office.

Ministry/January 2000 3
w re have
finally
come to
that point in time
which for decades
Remembering
from whence
many cultures and in many people,
the rationalistic and the irrational lie
side by side as uneasy, yet consorting,
bed-fellows. The projected long-term
offspring of such an ongoing liaison is
we thought of as a
distant mystical
location in our
we came disquieting to contemplate.
Modern rationalism and science
jump-started our vehicles to travel the
future: the year 2000. road on which we came to incessantly
No one from the human race has question anything that could not be
ever surveyed the hinterland of this spiritual aspects of our being are, on physically observed or scientifically
barely entered epoch. Thus we are the whole, increasingly atrophied by tested; such as the existence of God
naturally apprehensive as, standing on disuse or misuse. This is so even in and our origin in Him. From there we
the shores of the third millennium, we many of our religious communities moved, still traveling down the same
fancy all kinds of monsters and and institutions, which in some road, to challenge many spiritual and
mammoths lurking beyond this pivot significant cases have all but become moral stanchions that could not stand
of the calendar. Some of these we will collaborators with and champions of up to our rationalistic scrutiny.
doubtless encounter, though not The next step is well on the way

A
exactly in the form we now imagine to being taken: that of depreciating
them. and devaluing the gift of our own
Alongside the march of time humanity. Our humanistic yet
toward this date, there has been the disrespectful and brazen views of
parallel advance of genuinely disquiet nyone who sexuality and our wholesale, invasive
ing mega-movements. At this point I aborting of human life in the womb,
am reflecting especially on our shifting allows himself or herself to along with the kinds of arguments we
spiritual and moral presuppositions. use to justify such behavior are
Some of these have in fact altered the
think at all must wonder sobering examples of this degenerative
superstructure of the way human where a world, stripped of megatrend. Increasingly we are like
beings view themselves, their world sheep without a shepherd, left to the
and the whole creation. This has, in adequate spiritual and moral dictates of a merely temporal rational
turn, caused expansive realignments in ism. For "in those days there was no
the ways we think, feel, and live, and verity will turn and what king in Israel [no recognized transcen
also in the kinds of humans we have dent authority and] every man did
become versus the humans of 200 or kind of self destructive what was right in his own eyes"
even 50 years ago. (Judges 21:25, RSV).
In contrast with the humanity of conduct might be forthcoming, We have literally forgotten from
the past, contemporary men and whence we came and are, thus
women, despite the unprecedented
as more and more we are increasingly confused about who we
panoramas now open, have come to faced with mass extinction are, where we are, and where we really
think in limited, monodimensional want to go. It is not only the propheti
terms. That is, the "scientific" answer and universal cataclysm. cally initiated Christian who urgently
has tended to become the only wonders where our humanity is
respectable, politically correct answer. heading. Anyone who allows himself
We have come to assign to reason and or herself to think at all must wonder
science capacities that by their nature many of these "brave new world" where a world, stripped of adequate
they do not and cannot possess. views. spiritual and moral verity will turn
Reason and science have been On the heels of this, and in a kind and what kind of self-destructive
accorded an obeisance and authority of reaction to it, people now increas conduct might be forthcoming, as
that is ill placed. This has caused the ingly find expressions for the spiritual more and more we are faced with
neglected spiritual side of our God- side of their nature in an array of mass extinction and universal
given humanity to cry out to be improbable, irrational, seductive, and cataclysm.
recognized and employed. These even demonic channels. And so in continued on page 25

4 Ministry/January 2000
ohn Smith is a young and dynamic pastor. He loves his work. He adores his
family and is committed to its health and to the growth of his church. But
right now he finds himself in a dilemma.

Larry Yeagley is a Recently his conference assigned ing with them, I found out that their
pastor in Charlotte, him to a new church-planting program. pastor-parents were gone most of the
Michigan. In addition to his present duties, the time, returning home occasionally to
plan involves training lay persons in sev enforce the rules. These children
eral churches, some distance away from seemed to have a hatred for such par
home. This additional assignment will ents and for their church.
keep him away from his family almost My job was to show the minister-
every weekend. parents that they were painfully bump
"The plan is not family-friendly," ing their emotionally starved children in
John said. "My wife and children would their mad dash to save the world for God.
have to spend weekends without me I, too, have been guilty of this. In my early
an unfair burden on their emotional ministry I would spend the entire Sab
health and my own." bath working for the church while my
John approached his president but wife had the full responsibility for our
quickly sensed that he should not press small boys. After some time it dawned
the matter further. What should he do? on me that I was robbing my family and
Here are some of the approaches depriving myself of all kinds of blessings.
we discussed as we sought ways to My boys used to beg me not to accept
handle the problem. weekend dinner invitations so that we
could enjoy Sabbath as a family. I decided
Family first that pastoral visitation is important, but
The wisest among us put the fam it must not rob my family of my love and
ily first. "Nothing can excuse the companionship. The day of worship is
minister for neglecting the inner circle designed to heal and nurture families
for the larger circle outside." 1 including the pastor's.
When I was a chaplain in psychiat
ric units, I met young patients under Your spouse is important
treatment for clinical depression. Some My wife and I once conducted a
of them were pastors' children. In talk seminar for pastors on how to minister

LARRYYEAGLEY

Ministry/January 2000 5
to people in crisis without destroying late Friday night. After delivering the teacher, and counselor, I enjoy spend
their own health through stress. We ex sermon, I was often embarrassed to face ing my entire mornings filling the well
plained that much of our stress results the parishioners. Finally, I gathered the and soaking myself in the Water of Life.
from living in spaces that are sick. If the courage to set my own agenda. I was When I am in the pulpit I am relaxed
work space puts unrealistic demands on able to live through that church pro and quietly confident that what God
a person, and there are few rewards, gram without depression. My wife and helped me develop in manuscript or
affirmations, or words of gratitude, the family were privileged to have a hus notes is what the people need.
emotional space becomes sick and the band and father who wasn't grouchy Jesus spent much time in quiet
ill effects spill over into the home. We and moody. We all experienced better places with the Father. He left the quiet
appealed to the ministers to check the health. place and strolled into the marketplace
health of their work environment to Setting your own agenda requires and poured His love and compassion
make sure the home remained healthy, a clearly developed theology of minis into the lives of people. Then He went
A young minister responded pri try. Examine the concept of ministry back to the quiet place to be filled once
vately: "I'm so happy you challenged me more. I like to call this the rhythm of
to examine my work space. I have heen the ministry. Linger in the quiet place
placing all my energies into my work. so that you can meet God's children in
As a result my wife and I have been ar the marketplace.
guing and growing apart. For the past
few months we have discussed divorce. Have a plan
Today I've discovered that my marriage I et aside It is pointless to be running in pro
and family take priority over the ch urch. verbial circles. This only leads to exhaus
Thank you for giving me permission to plenty ofprivate time for you tion and frustration. You need to have a
balance my life. Starting tonight, I am plan. A plan is different from an agenda.
going to begin working on my very sick and your spouse. Build mini- Your theology of ministry must lead you
marriage." to plan for the whole year. How do you
Set aside plenty of private time for honeymoons into every do this? Certainly not by running
you and your spouse. Enjoy walks to around. I set aside one or two weeks ev
month. Enjoy walks together.
gether. Attend musical concerts. Play ery six months to adjust my goals for the
games together. Sit facing each other and Attend musical concerts. Play six months just ahead and develop goals
reflect about the highlights of your mar for six months beyond that. This keeps
riage. Have dinner at a special restaurant. games together. Sit facing each my one-year plan current and realistic.
Build mini-honeymoons into every And I build my vacations into my goals.
month. Give your spouse surprises for no other and reflect about the Spending regular time with my family is
special reason. Love needs no reason. a part of my goals.
These little extras will keep your highlights of your marriage.
pastures greener than the proverbial Be not anxious
ones on the other side of the fence. Your Have dinner at a special God is constantly in the process of
children will feel secure and loved when touching and impacting people's lives.
restaurant. Give your spouse
they see their parents in love. When I visit a person, I need to remem
surprises for no special reason. ber that before me the Holy Spirit was
Set your own agenda already ministering to the needy one.
Set your own agenda. If you don't, Love needs no reason. While I am visiting, the Holy Spirit is
someone will set it for you. Their agenda present to give me words to speak. When
may not be healthy. When I was an in I leave, the Holy Spirit stays with the per
tern, my churches set my agenda. For son to take what I have left behind my
three months of each year I was visit throughout the Bible. Be attentive to the words, my smile, my tears, my silence,
ing police departments to gain permis contexts in which ministry is discussed. and my touch and turns them into a
sion to solicit for mission funds. I was Apply those principles to your situation. ministry that I could never perform by
touring the streets where church mem Eugene Peterson in The Contem staying. All I need to do is allow God to
bers were giving yellow silk flowers to plative Pastor argues that sermon use me as a small tool, then trust that He
pedestrians and asking for donations. I preparation is easy when you drench will build a mansion of holiness in the
was picking up the money and replen yourself in Scripture. There has to be place of a shanty of sinfulness.
ishing their supply of flowers. During water in the well if you intend to give Henri J. M. Nouwen speaks about
those months I struggled to finish my the worshipers a drink. Since I see my worried ministers as people who have
Sabbath sermon, usually completing it role to be that of proclaimer, nurturer, their hearts in the wrong place. He de-

6 Ministry/January 2000
scribes them as overstaffed suitcases us the value of laughter when he over Develop good health habits
with no room for the Spirit. They have came a rare disease by engaging in Ministers and their families need
an address, but they are never home body-shaking laughter. He instilled the to follow good health principles. They
long enough to be addressed by the idea in the minds of healthcare provid need to live in a healthy manner. Good
Spirit. Rather than hurrying and scur ers to build laughter rooms in their health of body most certainly influences
rying about, ministers would be hospitals. It's true. A merry heart does emotional and spiritual health. When
healthier knowing that they can't ini good like a medicine. Pastors need regu the stresses of church life strike, we are
tiate. That is the work of God. We are lar, good doses of that medicine. able to handle them better if we have
His tools. good health. Read again Ellen White's
Set aside a day for family Counsels on Health and see what you've
Have a sense of humor I know a pastor who told his new been missing.
A merry heart is like good medi congregation, "You should know that
cine. Humor and laughter must be a Tuesday is our family day. I do not wish Set boundaries
part of the pastor's life and the pastor's to receive any phone calls on Tuesday A pastor returned home after a day
home. Twice a week I used to visit a unless there is a genuine emergency. In of visitation. "How was your day?" he
rancher who was slowly losing his battle turn, if you tell me which day is your fam asked his wife.
against cancer. Each day we'd play a ily day, I promise I'll not call you on that "I might have finished the laundry,
game of dominoes. Each day he won. day." These words may sound a bit but instead I spent all morning listen
Each day he made up the rules as the abrupt, but they do tell the congregation ing to the woes of your church
game proceeded. As we played the what to expect, and they say something members. Why do they trouble me? I'm
game, George told the funniest jokes I about the importance of family. not their pastor."
have ever heard. One day we were Next to the day of worship, our This spouse and others in similar
laughing until the tears ran down our family day was the most therapeutic day situations needed to devise ways of
faces. George threw back his head and of the week. I left my work behind and quickly referring calls to the pastor. The
cried, "Oh, if I couldn't laugh, I'd die." focused strictly on the health of the pastor handles complaints, problems,
The late Norman Cousins taught family. and a variety of church matters. Such

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Ministry/January 2000 7
calls need not infringe on other family several lifework choices. He looked up themselves to be children again.
members. It is appropriate for them to and said, "Daddy, what would you think Adult children are a delight to God.
say, "This is not something I can help if I told you I wanted to be a minister?" He doesn't want us to become dull and
you with. Let me take your phone num "Well, Jeff," I replied, "if you plan stodgy. I often tell people that Jesus must
ber and have the pastor call you." to be an unimaginative minister, I have enjoyed playing because children
I visited a pastor's home during wouldn't be too happy. We have enough were drawn to Him. I can't prove that
meal time. Twice the pastor answered of such ministers boring people. But theologically, but it seems logical to me.
the phone and twice his food had to be if you plan to be a creative, innovative When I worked as a chaplain I
reheated. Handling church problems minister who is not afraid to try new would sometimes be tense after a seri
and eating a meal don't go together. The ideas, I'd be very happy." ous emergency. That's when I headed for
pastor would be wise to install a tele You can't be effective in ministry the pediatrics area of the hospital. I made
phone answering device. Or learn to unless you put your personal imprint paper airplanes for the children and
courteously postpone calls until the on everything you do. Uncreative min taught them how to glide them across the
meal is finished. If calls are allowed to isters lose enthusiasm and are not room. If the child could walk, we went
interrupt meals, family worship, and productive. They develop attitudes that into the hall and pretended that we were
important family discussions, the harm their own emotional health and landing big jets at Heathrow Airport. The
whole family may feel frustrated and that of their families. nurses sometimes scolded me for clut
resent not only the phone intrusions Creativity in ministry promotes tering the hall, but my game-playing
but the work of pastoring and the success and good health. made me a healthier chaplain. I hope it
church itself. did wonders for the children also.
Play Playing sharpens our minds. The
Be creative My sons and I conducted a father- exercise stirs the endorphins that fight
We are made to be creative. When and-son retreat a few years ago. Most off discouragement.
we fail to use our creativity we lose in of our activities were fun and games.
terest in ministry. We tend to be bored We made a remarkable discovery. Fa Slow down
and become ineffective in our work. We thers didn't feel comfortable playing. Slow down. Work slower. Preach
are wide open to discouragement and Their sons instantly played with vigor, slower and more conversationally. Hurry
even depression. but fathers were awkward. They had destroys creativity. You'll accomplish just
Sitting on the floor of my study, my forgotten how to play. With some coax as much when you work at a slower pace.
son was writing the pros and cons of ing, the fathers gradually allowed It keeps you from stress-related diseases
and avoids addiction to your own
adrenaline.

Remember for whom you are working


If God called you to ministry, you
are working for and with God. You may
be receiving a paycheck from the insti
tutional church, but you take your or
ders from the Chief Pastor. Study the
methods of Jesus. Learn His attitudes
toward people. Watch Him take time for
weary sinners. See Him caring for people
who were forgotten long ago. Hear the
shouts of joy from those who were cured.
Then pray that God will help you per
form the ministry of TLC tender lov
ing care. Take time to be with people.
Listen to their pain. Care for them genu
inely and cure them with the gospel.
And experience health of body,
mind, and spirit! f

'Ellen G. White, Gospel Workers


(Hagerstown, Md.: Review and Herald Pub.
Assn., 1948) ,204.

8 Ministry/January 2000
Dr. Hacfdon Robinson's A teacher, ministry director,
passion for sharing and college president, Dr.
Scripture resulted in his Andrea Luxtori is admired
being named "one of the by cplleag ues and ;studehts
12 rrtosf effective : ' for hetdeep: understanding
preactiersJhtJte English-

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grew up in a home where money was limited. There were nine of us my


. parents and seven children. Although Dad and Mom did their best to meet
our needs, we never really had a sense of financial security.

Claire Eva is an We never went hungry, but I recall and attitudes, neither "plenty" nor
educator and freelance Mom's creative breakfasts and her lec "poverty" teaches us how to plan finan
writer from tures on the frugal use of bathroom cially. How, then, can we learn to do this
Clarksville, Maryland. tissue. I also remember not having any planning successfully? How can we find
thing to wear my first day of junior high ways of putting bits of joyful celebra
school and my mother resourcefully tion into our lives without having to
finding a white cotton blouse and "hock" our souls? We need to have bal
hunter green skirt among the older- ance in our personal fiscal dealings. We
sister castaways in our basement. I re need to be our own best friends as we
call how she lovingly washed, starched, move toward a more secure future.
and ironed them for me. My mother
also helped me secure a part time job at That nasty six letter word budget
a local department store. She under I don't know about you, but, espe
stood my need to wear more than cially in our early years of marriage, the
hand-me-downs. So, I learned to mere mention of the word "budget" set
"handle" money early. I was 13 when I off an alarrn in me. I saw it as a negative
began that first job. restraint designed to tighten the strings
Maybe it was different for you. Your already drawn too taut in what often felt
parents may have taken care of every like an over-ordered life. And so I
thing. Perhaps money was not avoided the word budget and what it
something you thought much about called for.
because it was there when you needed When it came to a financial bud
it and so you didn't feel the constant get we thought we had one. After I
pinch of poverty. chose to quit work and take care of our
Even though our early financial sta new daughter, my husband Will and I
tus may affect our later spending habits agreed that I would manage our fi-

10 Ministry/January 2000
nances. I remember getting little ledgers a seminar on family budgeting.
that helped me keep records of our
spending. On each monthly page I listed
By this time I had gained the nerve
to face not only the word but also the
General Budget
our expenses, our income, and, if we reality of having a "budget." I knew that Categories
were fortunate that month, the record even though I was still keeping my led
of a small remaining balance. But this gers, something was missing. I am Income
was not really a budget. forever indebted to our seminar in * Salaries
"They hardly have anything to live structor. He showed us how a true Misc. Income
on, and they just eat cereal!" was a com budget is both an emotional and finan * Interest Income
ment one of my aunts circulated within cial investment.
the family. I laugh when I remember her He stressed the need to eliminate Expenses
perception of our vegetarianism. But credit card debt. We had a couple of ** Tithe and Offerings
now that we were on one income, some credit cards, and it took us over a year * Allowances: Business/Personal
months were painfully tight, so Aunt to pay them down. Since that time, we ** Annuity/Savings
Irene was at least partially correct. I re have not charged anything on our cards * Auto
member having about $40 for food one that we could not pay for when the bill * Depreciation
month, after our bills had all been paid. arrived. In that sense, we have made the + Fuel
That was about half of our no-frills food credit card system work for us so that Repairs and Maintenance
allowance. And so it was that we con we can keep our money until the next * Christmas Fund
tinued to live stringently from paycheck due date. * Clothing Accounts
to paycheck for over a decade of mar Our seminar presenter talked about ** Dining and Entertainment
riage. As I look back at it now, we could "rewards" in a budget and how vital they Dry Cleaning
have done more and felt less emotional are. They create much of the balance a * Education Expenses
strain, had we actually budgeted dur solid and successful budget needs. The * Food
ing the early years when we both class was given a "his and her" budget * Gifts
worked. a plan where husband and wife each * Haircare
Don't get me wrong. We did learn share in managing their budget catego * Home Furnishings
to handle our money more economi ries, basically dividing them in half. This * Home Repairs/Maintenance
cally through those years. God blessed budget generated a friendly competition * Insurance:
us with Will's pay increases, which kept as to who was better at meeting the bud * Home Owners
pace with inflation, and we had excel get for that month. But regardless of who * Life
lent medical coverage. Our parents were "won," it still created a win-win situa * Auto
able to help us with an old Ford for me tion. When the budget was met and we * Interest Expense
to drive and, later, a down payment for spent under the allotted amount, we re * Loans:
our first home. warded ourselves perhaps an evening * Auto
I'm not disdaining our financial out and, in some cases, a weekend away. Miscellaneous
state so much as saying that our life then Percentages were suggested to give * Medical
was not all it could have been had we us a basic idea of how to divide our * Medical Reserve
understood what we know today about monthly income/s into budget catego * Miscellaneous Expenses
the value of having a full and effective ries (see sidebar). They served as a Mortgage:
budget something we learned to de guideline for us, even though we * Loan
sign and implement in 1983. couldn't always use the exact percent * Taxes
ages suggested. * Taxes:
Looking through new glasses We adapted the "his and her" bud * Federal
In 1981, Will received a call to pas get to fit our needs. We were both * State
tor in the Washington, D.C. area. At this committed to the program, but I con * PICA
time, since both our son and daughter tinued the actual bookkeeping. No Other
were in school, I decided to find some matter who actually keeps the accounts * Quarterly Fund
part-time employment. One of the po in your family, it is vital that both hus * Telephone
sitions I had was at the world headquar band and wife review the monthly * Utilities:
ters of our church. A highlight of my budget so that you can work unitedly * Electricity
employment there was the availability toward your goals. This sharing dem Gas
of brief seminars offered for the enrich onstrates mutual respect and doesn't 4- Water
ment of the employees. I attended one leave one spouse carrying all the emo ** Vacation Fund
course that changed our financial life tional weight and responsibility.

Ministry/January 2000 11
A crucial element agent, and our audit went smoothly and moratorium on spending? Perhaps you
It is very important to note what quickly. are in debt or you have gone out of
could be described as the most impor A special reward we gave ourselves bounds in your spending for a couple
tant element of true budgeting: that of two years after we began our "true" bud of months. Now you know you must get
expanding all monthly budgetary cat get was a three-week trip to Europe with things under control! What usually hap
egories into a yearly or long-term our children. We made so many wonder pens after a month or so of this well
expression. In other words, each pay ful memories, and I can honestly say we intentioned regulation? If you are like
period (i.e., each month) we began to were able to save for that trip because of most, you break loose from it. You've
put aside a proportionate amount to the new insights we had gained from the been too rigid, and so you snap your
ward such annual or long term expenses plan we were following. carefully installed bands of constraint.
as auto insurance and auto repairs, so As I view it today, I must say that If you plan wisely, allowing appro
that when the insurance came due or the term "financial planning" is better priately for personal and emotional
when a repair was needed, we had the than that terse little word, "budget." needs, this destructive pattern will
money to pay for it. We established lessen dramatically. With an adjusted
small personal allowances and clothing attitude and with planning, you will
accounts for each family member. come to live life with more contentment
Christmas and vacation funds, educa and less impulsive spending.
tion and savings account categories are The apostle Paul demonstrates a
a few examples of the long-term, major Christian maturity I admire and stretch
expense funds we established. . ./you plan for: "I am not saying this because I am
I can't tell you what a blessing this in need, for I have learned to be con
was! Now the money was there to meet wisely, allowing appropriately tent whatever the circumstances. I know
our needs as they arose. Yes, occasion what it is to be in need, and I know what
ally a financial crisis came, but we found for personal and emotional it is to have plenty. I have learned the
that we were much more able to meet secret of being content in any and ev
it, especially after we had been on the needs, this destructive pattern ery situation, whether well fed or hun
program for a while and our budget gry, whether living in plenty or in want.
pool increased. When this was estab
will lessen dramatically. With I can do everything through him who
lished, we learned to look at our budget an adjusted attitude and with gives me strength" (Phil. 4:11-13, NIV).
balances to determine what funds we How can this be? How can Paul's
had available rather than looking at our planning, you will come to live reality be our reality? Generally I have a
bank balance. We found that we could fairly even emotional response to the
get a false sense of our financial status life with more contentment temptation to spend. I usually feel quite
by simply looking at the bank balance. content with my situation. But some
A real sense of security eventually de and less impulsive spending. times I descend into a valley where I am
veloped in us as we saw how our more inclined to buy impulsively. I be
monthly budget funds were there and lieve when we are in these valleys, we
working for us. are experiencing some kind of lack or
Along with the seminar, we also unfulfilled need, the source of which
discovered another invaluable tool a That is what a budget is financial runs deeper than just the need we feel
software program for computer budget planning over the short term, with the to spend. Something is creating a feel
ing. It took me a while to work out all long term in mind. ing of dissatisfaction and powerlessness.
of the snags, but since learning the pro We think that the temporary "rush" of
gram, I see it as a veritable long-term The spiritual dimension spending will give us a sense of satis
godsend. It took care of mathematical It can be quite revealing to look at faction and power.
operations and allowed me to call up our basic attitudes toward money and the The reality is that we are not pow
and print reports on our financial sta emotional needs we feed by the use of erless. I know that nothing can separate
tus. Checkbook balancing was beauti our capital. "Balance in the Budget" pur me from God and all the truly good gifts
fully simplified. One year, when we were posely suggests that we have emotional that spring from such an unbelievable
audited by the Internal Revenue Service, as well as physical needs, and it is neces love, yet when I put everyday living first,
I was able to promptly call up specific sary for us to understand our needs and I sometimes forget who it is that fills
categories, such as contributions or those of our partners, in order to help me and makes me content. I forget
Will's business and auto expenses, and meet them and live rewardingly within Paul's secret. Paul talks of us being
print them out for the audit. I think our means. "filled to the measure of all the fullness
these kinds of records impressed the Have you ever decided to put a of God" (Eph. 3:19, NIV).

12 Ministry/January 2000
The truth is that we need never be for a warm drink around which we may spend impulsively. We need to know
afraid, even of financial dearth. This share the joys and concerns of each and feel that love, experiencing how
confidence can be our experience. Even other's day. And we must remember to precious we are to God and others.
if we were to lose it all, He would res go the "full menu" when we more than As a result of full spiritual and
cue us. meet our monthly budget and celebrate emotional cups, high on our list of pri
There is nothing wrong with our one another by practicing the reward sys orities will be a desire to share what we
desire for that new car or those new fur tem we have created. have with others. Ministering to the
nishings. But when we are in a compul When all is said and done, we must needs of someone who has less will
sive mode we maybe sure that the new make sure that we feast regularly on cause us to enter our homes without the
couch is not the primary need. Prob God's Word and His love for us. I know former sense of nagging dissatisfaction
ably our real need is to experience new that it is when I'm doubting myself and and with the sense that this home of
ness, beauty, or contentment. am out of touch with the sources of ours is in fact a palace. I may or may
We can look first at what we can love, first from God and then from those not feel wealthy, but I know I am in fact
actually do. Perhaps an inexpensive I value, that I am most compelled to rich and content.
shampooing of the couch would perk
it up. A good general scrubbing and
shining of the room or my home makes
me feel new. Then, it's time to sit down
and determine when our home furni
ture budget will be ready for that new
D
davenport. More often than not there
is a simpler, less expensive way to meet
our needs while planning for the long Ron Gladden
term. Amazingly, too much of even
smaller items can deter us from our
goal. The more we feel in charge of our Church Planting 101 Includes 3 widens and a
lives, accepting our circumstances, the workbook, created anil presented by Ron
less compulsive we will tend to be. Gladden.

Celebrate! Seminar One; "Why We Need It Now." Hear Ron


There are less expensive ways of Gladden make a powerfully persuasive case for
putting the bits of joy into our lives that why we must recapture church planting as our
we may feel are lacking, and which we primary method of evangelism,
may therefore try to compensate for by
overspending. Here are a few that have Seminar Two: "Never-changing Gospel, Ever-
worked for us: Spend time together. As changing World." Ron shows how we much
husbands and wives, we have deep le adapt our way of "doing church" to the needs ot
gitimate needs for this. It's amazing the unreached.
what we're able to get by on when we
get creative about showing our love. Seminar Three: "Your Strategy Your Town." Ron guides groups step
We may want to go out to eat but by step through the process of planting a new church. He helps
know we can't afford it. Then we can participants think through each major issue, establish priorities, and
make a date for dessert at a special res deal with obstacles. (The workbook is to be used with Seminar Three).
taurant and later take a quiet walk
US
around the lake, or plan a picnic at a
scenic spot, using a nice table setting
$79/set
and stemware or have a sandwich at a
favorite deli or grab a blanket and go to
the evening concert at the park.
Ministerial Association Resource Center
12501 Old Columbia Pike 4- Silver Spring, MD 20904
Be resourceful and imaginative. You
can't afford the florist? Buy flowers at the Phone: 1-888-771-0738 (toll-free) or 301-680-6508
market! Some of my favorite bouquets Fax: 301-680-6502 4- E-mail: paynec@gc.adventist.org
have come from there. Read a good book Web: www.miriistersalass0ciatiQri.eom
together or view a special film. We can Also available at your local ABC
set aside 30 minutes at the end of the day

Ministry/January 2000 13
Guv THESE
BONES LIVE
AGAIN?
w. ould you be open to a move?" asked the district superintendent. I
asked a few questions about the church and then politely declined.

Stephen Grunlan,
D.Min., is a Christian
and Missionary
However, the superintendent
wanted me to know about the church
in San Diego. It was a church in a good
almost four years and we have seen at
tendance triple in this transient,
multicultural setting. As I have sought
Alliance pastor of the location with excellent facilities. Once to turn the church around, I have re
Balboa Community its membership had been 200, but it had flected on what worked in my previous
Church, San Diego, begun to decline. Now there were only ministries and what is working here. All
California. about 50. Yet the more the superinten three churches have been quite differ
dent talked, the more interested I ent from one another. One was a
became. I told him I would pray about suburban church, one in a large town,
it, talk to my wife, and get back to him. and one in an urban setting. In all three
I thought of my own church. It had situations I have noticed or identified
also declined from 200 to about 100. ten keys common to turning the
Nine years after I became the pastor, the churches around.
weekly worship attendance had risen to
almost 800. Similarly, the church I had 1. Build hope
pastored before experienced very sig When a church is in decline, people
nificant growth. begin to lose confidence. They wonder
When I accepted the calls to my what will happen to them and their
first two churches, I was not looking for church. Often key people leave and
declining churches nor was I interested those who remain feel abandoned. They
in a turnaround ministry. These were begin to ask quietly, "Will the church
the churches that had been available ever again be what it once was?" "What's
and the call had come to me. Now with going to happen to us?"
this "feeler" from California, I was in a In all three of my churches I real
position to choose a turnaround min ized that the people needed hope.
istry. As my wife and I prayed, gathered Building hope requires three ap
information, and visited San Diego, we proaches.
came to believe that this was where God First, God. I reminded the congre
could use us. We felt uniquely prepared. gation of who God is and what He had
We have now been in San Diego for done and what He could do. I pointed

HEN G R U N

14 Ministry/January 2000
to the promise of Jesus, "I will build my talking about vision. I did not know were going and how we would get there.
church." I told them that the church is what it was. But I did know the church Vision is critical for focusing limited
where Jesus is working and that work needed a direction and a goal, and I did resources and personnel.
ing together with Jesus and one another know where I wanted the church to go.
the church can be built. Unfortunately, I thought I could impose 3. Look forward publicly, look back
Second, I pointed to the assets and my view on the church. While that ward privately
strengths of the church. All three church did grow, and when I left it was Problems plagued my last two
churches had good people, good facili larger than it had ever been, I neverthe churches, where both my predecessors
ties, and good locations. One church less felt a sense of failure because I did had been forced out, with members
had a strong, dynamic missions pro not develop a collectively owned vision. supporting them and opposing them.
gram. Another church had a strong I took up my second church a little There were misunderstandings, hurt
children's ministry. And the third had a wiser. Soon after I settled in, I sched feelings, and tension. These needed to
good education program and a school uled a Board retreat. Our primary be addressed, but not from the pulpit.
with real potential. I reminded them of agenda was vision and direction for the The pulpit is a place to look ahead. I
the tremendous resources they had. I church. The church leadership became never discussed the past publicly. Rather
held up each of their strong ministries part of the process. With the leadership I pointed to a future that we could all
as an example of what they could do. sharing the vision, we moved ahead share together.
Third, I built hope with stories and quite well. However, we also lost some However, I did spend significant
examples of other churches and minis people who did not understand where time looking back privately. I let people
tries that had turned around and come we were going or how we would get talk through their hurts and frustra
back. As hope was rekindled, churches there. tions. I listened to their stories of what
were able to move ahead. When I came to my current church, had taken place. While I tried not to take
I first worked through the vision with sides, defend, or blame, I did acknowl
2. Develop a vision the leadership and then went to the con edge hurts and grievances. It was
Growth requires vision. When I gregation. So I was able to get everyone important that I not ignore the past. But
took up my first church, nobody was on board, and everyone knew where we I dealt with it one-on-one or in small

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Ministry/January 2000 15
groups, while I devoted the pulpit to focused on music and worship minis 6. Preach with dynamism
looking ahead. tries. With a dynamic music program, In each of my churches, I realized
we attracted musically inclined people. some changes had to be made quickly.
4. Fix up the facility We also had a retired pastor in the con That meant killing a few sacred cows,
The first thing that struck me with gregation who worked with seniors, and upsetting a few applecarts, and stepping
all three churches was the disrepair of so we focused on that ministry. The on some toes. Where was I going to get
the facilities. I suspect this is true of congregation was a caring group of the authority to do this? What could I
most declining churches. Budgets are people, and we began to minister to give the people in exchange for what I
tight, and incentive is dwindling. Un military families in the community. would need to take from them?
fortunately, peeling paint and scruffy In each church we had to decide One thing I could give was dy
grounds send a message to the commu purposely not to do some things. In the namic preaching. I put a lot of effort
nity: the church is dying. into my sermons. I listened to profes
Within weeks of arriving at each sional storytellers, which helped me to
church I began to concentrate on the tell better stories. I listened to the tapes
most urgent repairs. We were able to do of the most popular preachers not to

A
quite a bit with a few gallons of paint imitate them, but to learn from them. I
and some volunteers. We also adjusted made a commitment never to bore any
budgets so we could bring in profes one with a sermon. I learned to use
sionals to handle improvements that the declining good humor. I made sure my applica
volunteers could not. tions were practical and relevant, that I
Most of these initial efforts had to church with diminishing was answering the questions people
do with the outside of the facilities. We were asking.
wanted to send a message to the com resources cannot be all things A strong pulpit ministry gives the
munity that we were alive and well and pastor authority to make necessary
open for business. The message went to allpeople. And when we changes.
not only to the community but also to
the congregation. Pride and confidence want to turn things around, 7. Emphasize prayer
in the church returned. The more we Ministry is a spiritual endeavor and
fixed up, the more people wanted to fix
we need to be something to requires spiritual power. Not just the
up. They were seeing progress and somebody. We found that the prayer of the pastor, but the prayer of
wanted more of it. the people. While that should be obvi
best way to do this was to ous, it was not so to me when I entered
5. Build on strengths the pastorate. Of course, I believed in
Declining churches often think they build on our strengths. prayer. I even fasted one day a week. And
need more programs to attract more we had a weekly church prayer meet
people: singles' ministry, youth ministry, ing. However, in my first church I did
ministry for the homeless, etc. However, not put a strong emphasis on prayer.
a declining church with diminishing re In the second church, I began to rec
sources cannot be all things to all people. ognize the need for prayer as a church
And when we want to turn things second church we put few resources family. I preached on prayer and fasting.
around, we need to be something to into youth ministry while focusing on We set aside days for prayer and fasting.
somebody. We found that the best way young families with children. We lost a We began a number of prayer groups and
to do this was to build on our strengths. couple of families with teenagers to a prayer chains. I was learning.
In the first church, we had an excellent larger church with a dynamic youth When I received the call to the
Bible study class with great teachers. We ministry. However, we gained more present church, I said I would come
also had a good preschool and an ad families with our children's ministry. only if they agreed to hold an all-church
equate children's club program. So we Then, as those children approached the prayer meeting every Sunday evening
decided to focus on young families be teen years, we hired a youth pastor and and if the leadership would commit to
cause that was the group to which we developed an effective youth ministry. attending it regularly. They did, and we
were best equipped to minister. When we focus on strengths, we did. We also started a Pastor's Prayer
In the next church, we also had may have to treat some ministries with Partners' ministry. We recruited a Sun
strong children's programming, and benign neglect. We need to guard day morning prayer team to pray for the
once again we focused on young fami against allowing ourselves to be spread services. We also had days of fasting and
lies. That church also had a number of too thin. We need to say "no" to the prayer, and we began prayer teams for
gifted musicians and vocalists, so we good so we can say "yes" to the best. each of our ministries.

16 Ministry/January 2000
8. Go for quick wins In my second church, two older Declining churches often have factions,
When I first entered the sanctuary, men all but ran the church. I spent quite and new people are seen to be neutral
I could not believe my eyes. The pad a bit of time with them, listening to and so tend to be acceptable to all fac
ded pews were covered in a bright them and sharing my vision with them. tions. In my present situation, most of
orange velvet material. The carpet was These two men lined up behind me and the previous leadership had left before
brown with orange speckles that supported me the whole time I was I came, so there was a leadership
matched the pews. The walls were cov there. They were the key to a million- vacuum. People recognized we needed
ered with a gold, textured wallpaper. It dollar building program that went new people to form a leadership team.
was a 70s decor. Unfortunately, we were amazingly smoothly.
in the 90s. At my current church, one man Conclusion
However, I should not have been had considerable influence. I tried to Some believe it is easier to plant a
surprised, since my first church had make him an ally. Things were moving new church than to turn around a dy
been graced by an indescribable green in the right direction until a decision ing church. There may be occasions
carpet with drab olive walls. My second was made to change something that was when this is true. But think about
church had pea green walls and padded very important to him. At that point he Ezekiel the prophet. He comes to the
pews covered with gold vinyl material began to oppose me publicly. My wife valley of dry bones, and the Lord tells
and more green carpeting. and I took him and his wife out for him to prophesy to the bones. As he
This gave me opportunities for lunch. We kindly and politely explained does, the bones come together. Flesh
quick wins. People who are losing hope to them why we were making the deci and muscle and skin cover the bones,
need to see progress to encourage them. sions we were. We acknowledged that but they are still dead bodies. God asks
Redecorating the sanctuaries was under this was an emotional issue for him but Ezekiel, "Son of man, can these bones
my control. It did not depend on visi explained that, given the process it had live?" The prophet responds, "O Sover
tors, growth, programs, or anything else. gone through and the support it had in eign Lord, you alone know." "So I
In one case all I was able to do was the congregation, he could not oppose prophesied as he commanded me, and
repaint the walls, but it made a dramatic it. In essence we told him he had either breath entered them; they came to life
difference. The walls were dark, and we to leave the matter alone or leave the and stood on their feet, a vast army"
painted them white. It made the sanc church. As it turned out, the change was (Ezek. 27:3,10). I believe God is still in
tuary look larger and brighter. It had a quite successful and the man still at the business of drawing together,
dramatic effect on the congregation. In tends the church. breathing into, and raising up dead
the present church, we reupholstered bones. I believe He is looking for people
those bright orange pews. In each case 10. Develop new leadership to raise up the dead bones of dying
redecorating had an immediate impact. In my present church, a steering churches. I know it can be done.
As people see progress, any progress, committee was appointed to run the
especially after a period of decline and church for the first two years I was pas
decay, they will respond positively. tor. The committee was made up of
people who had not been active in any
9. Move "church fathers" in or out of the factions related to the previous
Being naive, I did not realize what pastor. Because they were perceived as
church politics could be like. I thought neutral, the congregation supported
people would want to follow the pastor them. After two years we elected a gov
and move ahead in God's work. I soon erning board with a third of its
learned every church has people with membership drawn from those who
significant influence or control in the had joined the church during my first
congregation. These people can make two years there. With my first two
or break a ministry. In my first church, churches, I had sought to move people
three families had a great deal of influ who came into the church under my
ence. In my youth and naivete' I thought ministry into leadership as soon as pos
I could control them. Even though at sible. There were at least two advantages
tendance was growing and budgets were to this. First, they tended to buy into
being met, I never really became the my vision and leadership. Second, they
leader of the church. I only led the new were not part of any church traditions
people who came in under my minis or factions.
try. I tried to out-power the controlling How do you move new people to
families and did not succeed. I realized leadership? As a pastor, you can work
my ministry could only go so far. through the nominating committee.

Ministry/January 2000 17
T ni ni n
\ \
J. j. j. j.
nrmnn

healthy marriage is really a blending of two foreign cultures even if the


couple belong to the same ethnic group or have grown up on the same
street. So says noted family therapist Carl Whitaker.
Ron and Karen Flowers Nations, tribes, cities, villages, stantly buying more books than we can
are director and churches, and families have often read and, worse, revising presentation
associate director learned the hard way that the manner notes just minutes before we stood up
respectively of Family in which we deal with our differences together to preach or teach! I was at
Ministries at the determines the quality the peace, tracted to her communicativeness and
General Conference of prosperity, and progress of life in openness, but I didn't know that she
Seventh-day Adventists. community. This is especially true of the would knock so incessantly on the
intimate relationship of marriage. closed doors of a past that I wanted to
Personal differences loomed large forget and really hadn't planned on
in our relationship from the start. I opening to anyone.
(Karen) admired Ron's organizational We can readily admit to, even laugh
ability. I hadn't counted on his having at, some of our differences. But these
such great difficulty understanding how few sit atop a vast iceberg of diversity.
I can lose things my keys, glasses, or According to the Myers-Briggs Type
my car in a parking lot. I was also duly Indicator research, only about five per
impressed by how much this man could cent of all married couples exhibit
get done. However, I had no idea in the differences as extensive as ours. Facing
beginning that 1 would be caught up in our differences and working through
his whirlwind. the issues they create have been among
I (Ron) admired the care Karen our most significant marital challenges.
takes in her personal appearance, but I
had no idea how long it would take ev Major sources of differences
ery day for her to look so beautiful! I Gender. John Gray, author of the
appreciated her creativity and her con popular book Men Are From Mars,
tinuing quest for information. What I Women Are From Venus,1 has accurately
didn't realize was that we'd be con described male-female differences.

RON AND KAREN FLOWERS

18 Ministry/January 2000
While we're not sure how traceable all time-check but had no idea what was passes, differences often begin to create
the characteristics he spotlights are to actually on his mind. As 12:30 ap friction and irritation. It is not unusual
gender alone, tests like the Myers-Briggs proached, he cleared his throat more for one partner to try to change the other
Type Indicator do give credence to the forcefully and pointedly asked, "Isn't it in an attempt to eliminate or minimize
idea that some differences seem to be time for lunch?" Unaware that it would the discomfort. Without a way to man
primarily gender-related. Among a large create any stir, I indicated that I needed age differentness, disagreements arise.
sample tested in several cultural groups, to finish what I was doing and that if he These disagreements can heat up into
more men reached conclusions through was hungry, there was plenty of food in conflict and quite suddenly the couple
logical analysis, while more women the refrigerator. Well, I (Ron) sur becomes aware that the "dream" has
made decisions based on their internal vived even learned to cook. It took given way to "disillusionment."
ized values. More women were con Unresolved conflict usually leads to
cerned about how an action or decision resentment, bitterness, and alienation.
will affect people, while more men fo Sometimes one partner capitulates to
cused on the objective reasons why such the other in a desperate gesture to se
an action must be taken or decision cure peace. She or he may surrender his
made. More men found satisfaction in or her personality and will to the more
a job well done; more women expressed dominant spouse. Many simply with
satisfaction in meeting the needs of nresolved draw from each other's lives. Still others
people. Understanding that there are escape the relationship through sepa
some gender-based differences high conflict usually leads to ration or divorce. Many search for
lights the importance of dialogue be someone else who they dream will be
tween husband and wife.
resentment, bitterness, and more compatible. To a lesser or greater
Temperament. Opposites frequently alienation. Sometimes one extent, in every marriage "dream" even
attract. A quiet introvert may be enam tually gives way to "disillusionment."
ored with an effervescent extrovert, while partner capitulates to the But there is a path through "disillusion
an extrovert may be intrigued by the ment" that leads to the delights of
unagitated tranquility of the introvert. other in a desperate gesture discovery, growth, and deeper intimacy
The two may clash, however, over how in marriage.
to spend an evening. While the introvert to secure peace. She or he
finds refuge from a hectic day in a quiet A Christian approach to differences
evening at home, the extrovert may want may surrender his or her At the heart of the matter is the fact
to party. Learning about temperaments that Christ has already dealt with dif
can often help those who differ in this
personality and will to the ferences. The gospel expressly attends
area to be more understanding of them more dominant spouse. to the gulfs which have separated God
selves and others. from human beings and human beings
Family background. My (Karen's) Many simply withdraw from each other. In Christ, God has rec
dad was a wonderful cook. Often, while onciled the world to Himself (2 Cor.
my mother did other chores, he was from each other's lives. 5:18). In Galatians 3:28 and Ephesians
busy in the kitchen, setting meals on the 2:13-22, Paul catalogs differences in the
table whenever everybody could be macrospheres that have divided the
rounded up. I (Ron) grew up in a home human race over time: religious, ethnic,
where my mother cared for all house cultural, tribal, and national differences;
work, including meals, which she political, societal, and economic differ
rhythmically set out at 6 a.m., noon, and time and energy, however, to forge out ences; as well as gender differences. Had
6 p.m. My dad expected to sit down to the new realities of ourselves as a couple, Paul chosen to do so, he might have
the table on time and to find portions learn new skills and develop habits and extended his list to include differences
to his liking already served up on his routines that incorporated our indi in the microspheres of family origin,
plate. It's not hard to imagine the sce vidual interests and talents. health, habits, age, education, tempera
nario that was waiting in the wings ment, birth order, physical stature, and
when we got married! The challenge of differences appearance. The point is that God,
On our first full day at home after During that earlier period of mar through Christ, has reconciled all kinds
our honeymoon, I (Karen) was preoc riage, which David Augsburger in Sus of people to one another.
cupied with some project. About noon, taining Love2 calls the "dream" phase, Paul's argument in Ephesians 2:13-
Ron cleared his throat and reminded me couples tend to deny and attempt to ig 22 can be extended beyond the Jew-
what time it was. I thanked him for the nore their differences. However, as time Gentile differences he cites, to address

Ministry/January 2000 19
the divergence that threatens every process of dealing with differences in Respect for the rights of others
friendship and intimate relationship. day-to-day living: "The capacity to deal Acknowledgment and acceptance
Notice that the bringing together is, first with differences is one development must give way to respect. Differences
of all, God's work. He has put us into that greatly stabilizes and enhances the provide opportunities for us to stretch
Christ by His own divine act (1 Cor. quality of the marriage. When differ and grow. In Paul's words, "Let each of
1:30). We have been reconciled in His ences are viewed as inherently bad or you look out not only for his own in
"one body." The hostility between us as something to be eliminated, they terests, but also for the interests of
died when He died. That is the objec cause schism, evoke defensiveness, and others" (Phil. 2:4), Ellen White writes:
tive spiritual fact upon which the lead to estrangement. However, when "Marked diversities of disposition and
apostle can say that there is now "one" differences can be viewed as represent character frequently exist in the same
where once there were "two." There is ing opportunities to grow, they become family, for it is in the order of God that
now "peace" where there was "hostility." valuable. Our differences are what al persons of varied temperament should
By virtue of His cross, barriers which low us to expand. The capacity to really associate together. When this is the case,
separate people from each other have engage in a bilateral process of mutual each member of the household should
been removed (Gal. 3:28; Eph. 2:16). contamination is central to a dynamic, sacredly regard the feelings and respect
Paul goes so far as to say that Christ is rather than static relationship. As we the right of the others. By this means
our peace. rub off on each other, we are enriched. mutual consideration and forbearance
In Alfred Wallace's classic film, The The steps involved in getting to the will be cultivated, prejudices will be
Toymaker, two hand puppets are playing point of using differences productively softened, and rough points of charac
happily. Unable to see their own faces, go from acknowledging to accepting to ter smoothed. Harmony may be
they think they look alike. They do not respecting to enjoying and, finally, to secured, and the blending of the varied
realize that one's face is spotted, the treasuring them."3 temperaments may be a benefit to
other's striped. In time the truth comes Acknowledgment and acceptance. It each."5
out. They confirm it with a mirror, and was helpful to us to stumble upon Ellen Healing hurts. Sometimes we will
then distance themselves from each White's comment: "We differ so widely be able to simply overlook differences.
other, eventually becoming distrustful in disposition, habits, education, that At other times verbalizing our concerns
and violent toward each other because our ways of looking at things vary. We will be sufficient to secure needed
they are "different." In turn, they each judge differently. Our understanding of changes by our partner. But there will
climb the arm of the puppeteer to seek truth, our ideas in regard to the con be times when the hurt runs deep, and
an alliance with him against the one who duct of life, are not in all respects the the only healing balm is forgiveness. It
used to be their friend. The Toymaker ex same. There are no two whose experi is then that we can rejoice in the good
plains, "I made you both, and I love you ence is alike in every particular. The news that God has forgiven us beyond
both. I couldn't take sides against either trials of one are not the trials of another. measure. The gospel calls us to offer that
of you. After all, you are both the same The duties that one finds light are to same gift to one another. Forgiveness is
thing." When they disagree with the another most difficult and perplexing."4 painful, costly, and hard. Scars may re
toymaker's view of their situation, he Differences exist. While some of us main. Memories may arise from time
moves first one, then the other up his would like to make all the rest of the to time to plague us both, but in the
arm, across his chest and down his other world into our image, a more mature strength of God's love and our covenan-
arm to discover the other puppet. Despite approach to healthy relationships will tal commitment to each other, we can
this demonstration, they continue their acknowledge and accept differences. plunge further into the process. As we
warfare but become increasingly an We should note here that the dif enter into one another's pain and seek
guished within themselves. At the climac ferences of which we speak are within to understand the hurt we have in
tic moment of the film they lay down the normal range of a given population. flicted, as we seek to make restitution
their weapons. Stripe says, "Hey, Spot! Attitudes and behaviors that threaten in every way we can, we will gradually
We're all one thing! You, me, and the the health and well-being of family work our way through the hurt and hate
Toymaker!" To which Spot starts to re members and of the family as a unit are toward the release which forgiveness
ply, "Then, when you hit me it hurts you, outside of this range and require con alone brings in.
because...." Stripe finishes the sentence, sultation with professionals with
"because I'm really hurting part of my specialized training. Persons who abuse, Focusing on complementarity
self." Their sense of connection through or in other ways put the family at risk, The character and personality traits
the Toymaker's body has brought peace are most likely to change their behav of one, more often than not, comple
at last. ior when spouses and family members ment those of the other. It is a measure
are helped to establish protective of growth in marriage to sense that God
Steps in dealing with differences boundaries that prevent themselves be has brought us together in a marriage
Whitaker describes the healthy ing further mistreated. partnership and that the characteristics

20 Ministry/January 2000
THE PASTOR'S DAY

^ s a veterans' chaplain, I was


/J accustomed to hearing the
A A. painful stories that haunted
Simplicity shorter and simpler the prayer needs
to be. Anything else goes beyond the
endurance of a weary soul.
combat veterans. Now, I was hearing
the story of a long-time colleague. It for the Really, that was all my friend
wanted someone who represented
was no secret that he hated the
church. For 30 years he had not gone
near church people, wouldn't hear
bitter Christ, especially a woman who
represented Christ, to hear the story
of his offense against women without
spiritual things, spoke bitterly about SUSAN MARKS being horrified or rejecting him or
everything to do with church. Today, I pushing him away. He wanted
was hearing why. Don't whine about it. Just get on with someone to practice simple, honest,
In the terror of an enemy attack your life." That was the moment my low-key caring in the name of Christ.
on a position that was about to be colleague turned his back on the That was all he could bear. That was
overrun, a deeply spiritual young man church and all it stood for. what he got.
had to do something unspeakable in Could I succeed where that After a few moments of silence,
order to save many lives. He franti anonymous minister had failed 30 he got up to leave. At the door, he
cally tried to avoid the deaths of years before? God gave me the chance. turned and grinned at me. "You know,
people he had never expected to have The old soldier didn't expect any Chaplain, the longer I know you, the
to kill wasn't psychologically magic words of wisdom from me. He less I hate the church." Now I'm the
prepared to kill women. The didn't expect me to wave a prayer at one who is haunted. Those words
soldiers he faced from behind a him and make it all better. That was won't let me go. There isn't any way to
machine gun were all female. Even fortunate, because there are no words comprehend the horror of what
wounded, they kept pressing their that are adequate to face such a soul- happened between him and God's
attack, even when they could barely wound. All I could do was listen church. There isn't any way to get my
crawl. Every one died killed by my closely as the story unfolded. When it mind around the fact that these bitter
colleague and a handful of other was over, all I could say was, "I don't words were the highest compliment I
soldiers. have the words for this. I can't express ever heard in the ministry God
Returning home, he sought the agony I hear from you. There's entrusted to me. There is, however,
healing in the only place he knew nothing I can do to make it better. But one thing I can get my mind around.
the church. Tearfully, he confided the I am your friend, and I'm here for In the face of great horror and
story to his minister. Whether the you. Would it be OK if we pray?" tragedy, it can be the simplest
minister was too shocked to deal with The prayer wasn't much different things simple compassionate
such a horror story or whether it was from what I'd already said. It was listening, simple acceptance, simple
because of some streak of consum short. I sensed this was not the time to words, simple love that make an
mate insensitivity, I don't know. But quote scripture. It was the time to be eternal difference.
the minister replied, "What you did brief and in the simplest terms ask
was a soldier's duty in the service of God to love and care for my friend.
his country. There is no sin involved. Often, the greater the wound, the Susan Marks is a pseudonym.

each brings are the tools He has pro even broaden our appreciation for a 2 D. Augsburger, Sustaining Love
vided to successfully engage our mar spectrum of traits and interests well (Ventura, Calif.: Regal Books, 1988).
riages in some grand mission for Him. beyond our own narrow sphere. And 3 Carl A. Whitaker and W. M. Bum-
Our common love for Him helps us across a lifetime of togetherness, in the berry, Dancing With the Family: A Symbolic
work through day-to-day difficulties Experiential Approach (New York: Brunner/
strength of the growth the Holy Spirit
Mazel Publishers, 1988), 204, emphasis
that our differences will undoubtedly engenders, we can affirm, "Out of all the
supplied.
continue to spawn in our relationships. others I have chosen you, and I would "Ellen G. White, Gospel Workers,
The love and value He has placed on do it again." (Hagerstown, Md.: Review and Herald Pub.
each one adjusts the lenses through Assn., 1948), 473.
which we view each other. When we re 'John Gray, Men are From Mars, 'Ellen G. White, Child Guidance
main open to what Whitaker calls "mu Women are From Venus (New York: Harper (Hagerstown, Md.: Review and Herald Pub.
tual contamination," differentness may Collins, 1992). Assn., 1953), 205.

Ministry/January 2000 21
SCHOLARSHIP
AND THE CALL
TO MINISTRY
evin was hired as a pastor by a local conference. He had many good
qualities he was outgoing, loved people, and enjoyed studying the Bible.

Randall Roberts, D.Min., But he had no theological training. when he runs out of sermons. He
is senior pastor of the His college degree was in business, and preached the same sermons here that he
Corona Seventh-day even after serving several years as a pas had preached there, and he'll probably
Adventist Church and tor, he showed no interest in pursuing do the same in your church. So plan on
associate dean of formal seminary training. Any sugges a two to three year run."
religion, Loma Linda tion that such a training maybe helpful These cases emphasize two points.
University, California. to him brought out the same response: First, scholastic preparation is necessary
"It was God who called me to ministry, in order to function effectively as a pas
and that's all I need." tor. Second, the need for scholarship is
Mary, a local church member, a continuous one.
visited her pastor about a recently re
leased book. Published by one of her Ministry and training
own denomination's presses, its theo Kevin represents individuals who
logical perspective had created quite a function in the pastorate with little or
stir. Many pastors and church members no training for the profession of which
were reading and discussing the book, they have become a part. Clearly, God
and Mary wanted to discuss it with her is able to call, commission, and enable
pastor. But there was a problem. While any person to function as His emissary,
the pastor had heard of the book, he regardless of the presence of formal
had not read it, nor was he inclined to training or its lack. Christ Himself chose
do so. He told her not to bother with it. uneducated fishermen to be His dis
"This whole controversy will blow over ciples and witnesses.
soon enough," he said. Furthermore, we must not mini
Pastor Smith had recently ar mize the fundamental importance of
rived at a new church district. An elder the divine call to ministry. God's call
at his former church passed on some does not wait for college or seminary
information to relatives in the new graduation. God chooses whom He will,
church: "The church Pastor Smith at times to the consternation of reli
pastored before coming to ours told us gious governing bodies.
that he moves every two to three years, However, should the call of God to

L L. ROBERTS

22 Ministry/lanuary 2000
pastoral ministry negate the need for the amount of professional material important, then, that such a theological
preparation and education for such current research and recent rulings underpinning be sound and intentional.
work? Does God's call in and of itself with which they are expected to be fa This is even more vital now as pastors
contain all that is needed to function miliar. The pastor-as-scholar ought to serve in churches that are becoming in
effectively in a pastoral role? cultivate the discipline of reading creasingly biblically illiterate.
The New Testament doctrine of broadly enough to remain cognizant of
spiritual gifts affirms that "every be current developments in theology, bibli Suggestions for a more literate
liever has been called to be Jesus' dis cal studies, Christian ministry, and ministry
ciple and to serve in the kingdom of culture. These trends impact the practice Three suggestions are in order.
God." 1 If God's call to serve includes of ministry and ultimately affect the First, those who hire pastors need to
vocations of medicine, law, or architec views of those in the pews. either hire those with appropriate and
ture, and if such a call is as divine and adequate ministerial education, or be
real as His call to pastoral ministry, it Ministry and continual study willing to assist and support pastors in
must be noted that while based on God's Pastor Smith illustrates the same is the process of acquiring such education.
call, the practice of these vocations must sue from another angle. Most pastors Regardless of how experienced one may
also include appropriate and necessary preach some sermons more than once be, "study is not an alternative to expe
education. The idea of a dentist, pilot, and certain sermons many times. But rience but is itself a form of experience
or contractor functioning in a profes when previously-preached sermons be that grants understanding, even exper
sional realm without adequate prepa come the weekly staple of a congregation tise, on a range of subjects."3 The people
ration is both absurd and dangerous. In on an ongoing basis, worshipers are to whom these pastors will minister
our day, such education is seminal to shortchanged. The pastor's continuing hunger for biblical and theological ex
the scholarly ability needed by the pas spiritual development is a gift the con pertise. They desire pastors who have
tor. gregation deserves, and hence weekly ser "been instructed about the kingdom of
mons need to reflect the ways in which a heaven" and are like landowners who
Ministry and reading pastor is growing and developing. There bring out of the storehouse "new trea
Mary's pastor illustrates a different fore, the exercise of continuing to read, sures as well as old" (Matt. 13:52, NIV).
but related concern. Most pastors de study, exegete, and write is a discipline For such an ideal to become real
spair of keeping up with all the the pastor cannot treat lightly. ity, pastors need focused education. "We
important literature being written. What, then, ought we to do? "Do [leaders of the church] have lost time
However, it is not good pastoring to be your best to present yourself to God as in neglecting to bring young men [and
unfamiliar with or even uninterested one approved, a workman who does not women] to the front and give them a
in the concepts of an important book need to be ashamed and who correctly higher, more solid education. The most
published by one's own denominational handles the word of truth" (2 Tim. 2:15, earnest and continued efforts to acquire
press on a topic of interest to the church NIV). The essence of the Greek word qualifications for usefulness are neces
as a whole. used here, spoudazon, translated "do sary; ... but unless God works with the
Pastors recognize the importance of your best" may best be captured by a human efforts, nothing can be accom
knowing their congregations. This en combination of terms: "to exert oneself, plished," 4 Educational expectations
ables them to preach sermons relevant endeavor, give diligence."2 Clearly, men should be evident and the means to
to their struggles and stories. But each tal exertion and thoughtful effort are achieve them, implemented.
individual congregation is situated essential to the process of preparing Second, a consistent plan of per
within a world larger than itself. Such a oneself for and capably carrying out the sonal study cannot be overemphasized.
world contains larger issues of faith. Not work to which God calls us. This in Shortly after having been hired as a pas
understanding that world impairs the cludes both educational preparation for tor, my father, himself a minister, said
pastor's ability to speak appropriately to the work of pastoral ministry and on something I still remember: "Make it a
the individual congregation's world. The going scholarship to remain consis habit to study in the mornings on a con
scholarly capacity to exegete not only the tently equipped for such labor. sistent basis. Make it a habit early in
biblical text but one's own culture is vi Not only is such thoughtful work your ministry. Then it will be easier to
tal to the task of pastoral ministry. One vital to pastors' own spiritual lives, it is maintain as the years pass. If you wait
obvious way to maintain such contact is also crucial to the life of the church. Pas until later to try to develop it, it will be
through the printed page. If reading is a tors help to form and inform the church's harder to do so." I have been grateful
lost art in our society, it is of even greater theology. Like it or not, their theology over and again for that sound advice.
concern if pastors aren't readers! undergirds their preaching. Though this This process which takes place in
Our colleagues in other professions, theology may not have been intention the privacy of the study, on a consistent
(medicine and law, for example), are held ally studied and carefully thought basis, through the reading and study of
to fairly high standards when it comes to through, it is nonetheless present. How Scripture and significant biblical and

Ministry/January 2000 23
M s a seminary president, I spend
yLl a good deal of my time
A m. extolling the virtues of semi
Seminary Fourth, seminary education cannot
do everything that is asked of it. In an
era of shrinking budgets, many turn to
nary education. I wouldn't be giving so
much of my life to it if I didn't believe
in its crucial importance. Never-theless,
education: seminaries to provide more and more
services. Well-meaning people have
asked me to get my seminary to develop
in the interests of telling the whole story,
I want to mention some things seminary
Its limits programs specifically for urban minis
try, rural ministry, Hispanic ministry,
education cannot do. DONALD W. McCULLOUGH African-American ministry, health care
First, seminary cannot totally trans ministry, executive training, steward
form personalities. Three or four years in your local church won't be changed ship education, and church
of school cannot reverse the effects of into someone you'd want to be your growth not to mention requests to
30 years of socialization. A happy per pastor. start new campuses in half a dozen cit
son who enters seminary will likely be a What we can do is knock off rough ies! We're already doing some of these
happy one who leaves; an angry person edges and polish the gifts a student things, but there are limits.
who enters seminary will likely be an brings. An agate can be turned into a What we can do is be a center that
angry one who leaves, only with an ar beautiful stone, but a piece of pumice helps students develop their gifts for
senal of theology to justify the anger. cannot be made into an agate. more effective ministry. We can intro
Someone with the relational skills of a Third, seminary education cannot duce them to a deeper understanding
cactus will graduate just as prickly; on fully train people for ministry. The role of the gospel of Jesus Christ, help them
the other hand, a warm teddy bear won't of a pastor is enormously complex these develop basic disciplines of spirituality,
have much fur rubbed off. days, with seasoned veterans feeling and sharpen their tools for day-to-day
What the seminary can do is help more confused than ever. There is no tasks in ministry.
some people start on the road toward way we can teach all that needs to be This may not be all some people
greater wholeness. Many students have learned in three or four years. would like us to do, but it's enough, I
reported that the study, prayer, worship, What we can do is provide a neces think. And worth supporting.
dialogue with professors and students, sary foundation of knowledge and
and sometimes even psychological skills, upon which the best students will Donald W.
counseling during their seminary years, continue to build throughout their McCullough, Ph.D.,
have led to significant spiritual and lives. A few years ago I told our gradu is president of the
emotional growth in their lives. ates at commencement, "If you think San Francisco
Second, seminary education cannot you're ready for ministry, we've failed Theological
turn those with no gifts for leadership into you. At most, you're more able to learn Seminary, San
great leaders. A person you wouldn't what you'll need to know in the corn Anselmo, California.
want to teach a class or serve as an elder ing years."

Scholarship and the requirements for pastoral ministry, ex


tension and distance-learning programs
ministering pastorate be thoroughly pre
pared to lead an increasingly educated
call to ministry are increasingly available. Pastors need church into the new millennium.
continued from previous page to take advantage of them! Such oppor
tunities are more readily available now 1 R. Paul Stevens, Liberating the Laity:
theological writings is foundational to than they ever have been before. Rea Equipping All the Saints for Ministry
(Downers Grove, 111.: InterVarsity Press,
the entire pastoral task. "Time spent in sons for not furthering professional 1985), 29.
study is never getting away from daily knowledge and ministry skills need to 2 Joseph H. Thayer, Thayer's Greek En
work but getting into daily work.... Study be rigorously questioned. glish Lexicon of the New Testament (Grand
will protect the parishioners from the Doubtless, "all [God's] biddings are Rapids: Baker Book House, 1977), 584.
3 Fred B. Craddock, Preaching (Nash
excessive influence of the minister's own enablings."6 He who calls us to ministry ville: Abingdon Press, 1985), 74.
opinions, prejudices, and feelings. Study is able by His grace to prepare us to meet "White, Testimonies for the Church
is getting a second and third opinion be its challenges. Still, pastors need to avail (Nampa, Idaho: Pacific Press Pub. Assn.,
fore diagnosis and treatment."5 themselves of the various ways through 1948), 5:582, 583. Emphasis supplied.
5 Craddock, 70.
Third, take advantage of the many which He may accomplish that very 6 White, Christ's Object Lessons
options available for continuing educa thing. It is time that a divinely called, at (Hagerstown, Md.: Review and Herald Pub.
tion. If one lacks the educational tentively equipped, and thoughtfully Assn., 1941), 333.

24 Ministry/January 2000
Remembering from of what this means as we try to
decipher the relationship between
We must be sure we are standing for it
though the heavens fall.
whence we came biblical inspiration and inerrancy. But
let us by God's grace wrestle our
4. A fourth essential is that Jesus
is coming again. This certainty
continued from p. 4
doubts to the canvas when it comes to becomes a matter of increasing
the supernatural underpinnings of meaning for us as we move toward its
But what does this have to do the Bible. Let us bow to the ultimate fulfillment. The more chaotic our
with our here and now? authority of the One who inspired it, post-modern societies become, and
While recently perusing old making the Bible our one reliable the more the eschatological dust
Ministry magazines, my 86-year-old guide for life. Let us actually make it swirls in the myriad winds of opinion,
mother pointed me to a striking Carl the paramount, one-of-a-kind the more precious and indispensable
Sandburg quote that appeared on our enlightener "for doctrine, for reproof, is the actuality of Jesus' promise to
August 1973 cover: "For we know that for correction, for instruction in come again. The four words, "I will
when a nation goes down and never righteousness" (2 Tim. 3:16, NKJV) come again" (John 14:1-3) are
comes back, when a society or a and above all our singular "revelation superbly crucial for our time. They
civilization perishes, one condition of Jesus Christ" (Rev. 1:1). have been designed for this moment
can always be found. They forgot from 3. A third indispensable verity is in this kind of world. They were
whence they came. They lost sight of the Gospel. The fabulous news is that spoken at a time when Jesus' disciples
what brought them along." "God made him [Jesus] who had no felt their faith, their being and their
Where indeed have we come from sin to be sin for us, so that in him we whole world literally collapsing
and what has brought here? In other might become the righteousness of around them (see John 13:33-38).
words, in the light of Sandberg's God" (2 Cor. 5:21, NIV). It is that There are, of course other equally
discerning insight, what verities must Christ "has become for us wisdom worthy verities that cry out for
the Christian (and Adventist) Church from God that is, our righteousness, attention and affirmation. Let us take
profoundly affirm and embrace, lest holiness [sanctification] and redemp all of them up with prayer and
we die? Here are four: tion" (1 Cor. 1:30). It is that "now a thought, as we face what this
1. It seems to me that the one righteousness from God, apart from millennial moment portends for our
seminal shift that has most desolated law, has been made known" (Rom. lives, our churches and our future. Let
our humanity over the last 150 years, 3:21, NIV). An ongoing grasp of this us live out and proclaim these verities
causing what seems to be our magnificent reality opens the way for wisely yet unashamedly. Let us
eschatological crumbling, has been the the work of the Spirit upon and within celebrate and live in the light of our
questioning or denying of the alpha our souls, bringing us to maturity in truest origins, not forgetting from
verity, "In the beginning God created the way we live and move and have our whence we came nor losing sight of
the heavens and the earth." I suppose being. Ironically, no truth has been Who actually brought us to this hour,
Carl Sandberg had more immediate more threatened by our Judeo- and thus Who will take us through
historical and political matters in Christian heritage than has this one. and beyond it to Himself.
mind when he penned his statement.
Nevertheless, allowing his "whence
they came" statement to justly
encompass the very beginnings of our
existence certainly makes it all the
more suggestive and true for us and
our times. This is particularly so if it is
SEASONED WITH LOVE
This wonderful cookbook is filled with recipes on
contrasted with the "whence they everything from appetizers to breads to beverages to
came" offered by evolutionary theory eooldes and candies and everything else, but without
and its dubious offspring. I believe it meat! Ministers' wives front every division contributed
their favorite recipes to this cookbook. Makes a
is imperative that we stand strong and unique gift for holidays, birthdays, or bridal showers.
true to our "whence" as it is expressed
in Genesis 1-3.
Ministerial Association Resource Center
2. Another closely related 12391 CM Columbia Pike Silver Spring, MO 209<tt
actuality that is crucial for us to affirm Phone: 1-888-7714738 (toil-free) or 3dl4fWN508
now with heart and soul is the one Fax: 3f I-680-65Q2 4- E-mail: pajinec@gc.adventist.org
Wel>t wttw.ministrriala-330ebuion.e0m
that says, "All Scripture is given by
Also available al voui* l<K:al ABC
inspiration of God...." (2 Tim. 3:16,
NKJV). We may argue the finer points

Ministry/January 2000 25
SEX AND THE
PARSONAGE
W: hen I mentioned to a friend that I was writing an article on sexuality and
the parsonage, she responded: "Sex and the parsonage! Is nothing sacred?"

Alberta Mazat is a marriage and family "Does this mean," I repiied, "that tive in this area of ministry, it would be
therapist in Loma Linda, California. you don't think sexuality is something something like this:
that can be sanctified?" The pastor would be born into a
"Well . . . yes, I mean, well, I just home where delighted parents eagerly
don't think of it in those terms!" welcome the baby and consistently
That's the problem. For too long nourish a loving, respectful relationship
churches have withheld the "seal of ap that readily demonstrates affection,
proval" on sexuality. The Bible has "tender regard," and wise discipline. In
treated sexuality forthrightly, giving an fancy would be characterized by soft,
amazing amount of coverage to its de gentle handling, caressing and "conver
lights. Even when we have accepted its sations" through cooing, singing, and
place in marriage, we have often done playing, along with communication
it quite grudgingly. that builds a basis for continuing child-
This article will explore the concept parent interactions. Such a home would
of sexuality in the parsonage, but with also lay a foundation for trust and inti
these "givens": 1) sexuality is a gift of macy in future relationships. There
God that He instituted and blesses; would be a spoken admiration of the
2) He has great expectations for its role child's beautiful body, attributed to a
in our lives; 3) sexuality was designed loving God who wisely tells us how to
to bring unity as well as children within best care for it. In all of this, no body
marriage; 4) sexuality has the potential parts or their functions would be spo
of bringing about great pleasure and ken of in either a derogatory or crude
ecstasy; 5) sexuality provides an expe manner.
rience of bonding for husband and wife. Age-appropriate sexual education
would provide information even before
Sexuality and the pastor as a person childred needed to hear it, so that dur
Long before her or his first pasto ing puberty and adolescence it would
ral assignment has been decided, the be comfortable and natural to continue
pastor will have been formulating a per talking about and answering questions
sonal theology and philosophy of regarding sexual changes and function
sexuality. If we could map out a back ing. This would provide an accurate
ground of positive circumstances that vocabulary helpful throughout life, pre
would prepare pastors to be most effec venting a reliance on peers and the

ALBERTA MAZA

26 Ministry/January 2000
media for cheap, four-letter word "sex to marriage and where each takes de growth process that should never be
education" courses. light ministering to the happiness of the
Sexuality would not be seen merely other. However, some pastoral spouses Pastoring is an absorbing, emo
as a raging, hormone-driven urge to be have felt it would be helpful to intro tional, and time-consuming ministry. It
blindly released, stoically endured, or duce explicit, pornographic sexual is vitally important to keep priorities
inflexibly resisted, but as a God-planted materials into the marriage bed, expect balanced so that the career does not take
desire to learn about, anticipate, and ing them to improve the sex life. This over the time necessary to nurture the
sublimate until God's own time when voyeurism is most often resisted by the sexual/marriage relationship. It is abso
it would unfold as one of His special wife, who, among other things, sees it lutely crucial for the pastoral couple to
gifts to marriage. The pastor's parents as a reflection on her own inadequacies. talk one-on-one, to celebrate special
would have maintained a watchfulness Yet pornography, clearly inappropriate occasions, to date, to make positive fam
which sought to avoid coarse sexual and immoral, never belongs in the rep ily memories. Board meetings, commit
expressions, double-entendres, anec ertoire of Christian love-making, or in tees, and the needs of other people are
dotes and stories, or television offerings the experience of those who are living important, but when they consistently
that depict sexuality as cheaply humor to represent the splendor of Christ to replace "couple time," schedules must
ous, trivial, or devoid of moral their fellow human beings. be realigned.
implications.
The pastor's underlying attitude Sexuality in the lives of a pastoral Sexuality and the pastor as a parent
toward sexuality will have an effect on couple Probably at no time will the pastor
his or her personal values and how these Without the complete assurance be as aware of the awesome power of
affect feelings and decisions about be that each is totally committed to the sexuality as when her or his newborn
haviors involving sexuality, be they other, there can be no complete giving child is entrusted into waiting arms.
pre-marital, extra-marital, or post- of oneself in the marriage embrace. One Next to the child's heart will be the
marital. The pastor's attitude will even cannot risk the most intimate aspects parent's heart beating with wonder,
influence his or her response to a re of one's personhood if concerned that pride, and determination to meet the
quest for counseling from married it could be rejected, displaced, or ex challenge of parenting. This child will
couples struggling with their sexual ex ploited. Experiencing and partaking of depend on its parents to bring mean
perience. It will even determine the one another's deepest wells of love can ing to the whole concept of sexuality,
degree of effectiveness a pastor pos be meaningful only if restricted, and to set the stage that will, in a large
sesses when speaking to a group of throughout a lifetime, to each other way, determine its pattern throughout
young people on questions of sex. alone. adulthood.
Knowledge of the physical act of Each child should be told the beau
Sexuality and the pastor as a spouse intimacy is also important. When a tiful story of life by parents who can
Though by no means perfect in this couple realizes that sexual expression is provide a background to build upon
arena, Seventh-day Adventists have al an unfolding, growing process God's throughout childhood and the teen
ways been a church which holds process they will want to learn about years. When parents talk to their chil
sexuality in marriage as not only per all the aspects of sexuality physical, dren about sexuality, there is less sexual
missible but blessed. We often read in emotional, and spiritual. This should experimentation on the part of the chil
church literature that two institutions help to release some inhibitions and dren. Usually fathers are less involved
come to us from the Garden of Eden create a desire to thank God for provid in sex education than are mothers. This
the Sabbath and marriage. Recently we ing this awesome experience. should not be. Education should be a
seem to have become more comfortable Intimacy, even sexual intimacy, is joint parental project, with each talk-
in reading the Song of Solomon as it not only for physical expression. When
was intended, a beautiful love song, a it does not include the kind of close
paean praising God for the profound
romance and sensual delight that ac
ness that encompasses the emotions, the
intellect and the spirit, it cannot truth
KEEP IN TOUCH
with the Ministerial Association
companies a committed sexual fully be called intimacy. When two Resource Center
relationship between a man and a lovers are within one another's life
woman. boundaries, sharing thoughts, ideas, Phone: 1-888-771-0738 (toll-free)
Even before marriage, pastors-to- values, goals, delights, and sorrows, they 301-680-6508
be and their intended spouses should are sharing at a level unique to the mari E-mail: paynec@gc.adventist.org
be exploring their own ideas about tal relationship a space open to no
sexuality. It would be the best if both other, and nonexistent in any other Fax: 301-680-6502
had been reared in homes where sexu union. This ideal is not achieved dur Web: www.ministerialassociation.com
ality has been presented as a gift of God ing the honeymoon; it is a lifetime

Ministry/January 2000 27
ing to each child at times and with the The workroom shelves of the Family fairs that bring separation and unfath
whole family together on occasion. Par Life Department at the General Con omable unhappiness to so many fami
ents must realize that in not making this ference are filled with excellent, well- lies, we must do more to help strengthen
a priority, they are giving messages such prepared materials. There is help for and enrich our homes.
as: "This is not an important enough small churches that may not have pro A qualified pastor can open the way
issue for us to talk about.... Sexuality fessional resource people to lead out. to spiritual resources for persons wish
is too hard for me to talk about... too Dedicated, willing, and suitably gifted ing to have help with such concerns as
complicated... too ugly... too embar lay leaders can also be trained in these their selfishness, lack of joy, immoral
rassing. ... It is something you'll find things. thoughts, impatience, and anger. If,
out about along the way." Will people attend seminars on however, the pastor doesn't have the
It is important to protect our chil family life? I heard of one church that requisite training, he or she needs a list
dren from seeking answers to sexual announced a Sabbath afternoon mar- of those who do. A wise pastor has a
problems apart from their parents. qualified mentor or supervisor in con
People with bad motives are eager to fill sultation or in conjunction with
in the gaps. In addition, we need to give individual counseling, especially in

T
our children information that is appro cases involving sexuality. This is not
priately protective for their degree of only in the best interests of the person
maturity. They need to know the exact being served, but of the pastor as well.
i
steps they must take (which should al A pastor's work with parishioners
ways involve parents as well as other
MLhep
. he pastor's will include not only counseling, but
trustworthy adult authority figures) underlying attitude toward also visitation and working together in
when approached by inappropriate committees and church projects. Each
touches and/or dialogue whether sexuality will have an effect pastor will often face close contact with
these come from a stranger, friend, or opposite-sex persons who are attractive
family member. on his or her personal values and winsome. If the pastor's mood is
sometimes one of discouragement over
Sexuality and the minister of and how these offect feelings church progress, concern over a per
the gospel sonal marital relationship, or worry
In the ministerial role the pastor and decisions about behaviors about his standing with church mem
has several main categories of respon bers, the potential for trouble grows. It
sibility in which the cause of sexuality involving sexuality, be they is the pastor's responsibility to stay fo
can be served: namely, sermon prepa cused and keep the lines drawn between
ration, education, and counseling.
pre-marital, extra-marital, personal and church concerns.
As I interact with Seventh-day A careful study of Jesus' ministry
Adventists at retreats, camp meetings,
or post-marital will be helpful. His work for His Father
and seminars, I am told again and again was constantly before Him; He pos
that they wish their pastors would speak sessed dignity and a winsomeness that
more often on family issues such as the did not become familiarity. His minis
qualities of strong families, pitfalls in try was never exercised for His own
family life, and issues that have to do riage seminar devoted to the topic of benefit, but He always held the other
with loyalty, respect, and purity. Church "Building Relationships." Though they person's best and eternal interests as an
families need to hear messages that can expected 30-40 to come, 150 attended. overarching priority.
counteract the exposure to sexuality The need is there.
that fills our culture and homes through Pastors in churches with a church Conclusion
the media. Pulpit prayers can occasion school may also work with educators to Jesus' prayer to His Father as He
ally offer pleas for God to instill in us a design and implement ways through faced His crucifixion seems particularly
longing for moral purity, for victory which our children can be taught rela fitting here," 'I have made you known
over temptations that threaten our fam tionship skills. to them, and will continue to make you
ily happiness, for the healing of painful In addition to consistently provid known in order that the love you have
memories, and for a restoration of ing pre-marital counseling classes, mar for me may be in them and that I my
God's beautiful plan for marriages and riage enrichment opportunities can be self may be in them' " (John 17:26).
families. presented for married couples at all May He indeed be in every part of
The Seventh-day Adventist marital stages, including those in retire our ministry, particularly the part deal
Church provides numerous workshops ment. With deplorable divorce rates in ing with something so potentially won
and seminars dedicated to family life. our church and ceaseless stories of af derful (or destructive) as sexuality.

28 Ministry/January 2000
PASTOR'S PASTOR

W
e could
do
nothing
Call to Pray for our families so desper
ately in need of divine grace. Pray that
Jesus might become the center of
more appropriate
for the new year,
or any new venture
Prayer 2000 every marriage and that bitterness and
strife might be replaced by freshly
experienced renewal and restoration.
for that matter, JAMES A. CRESS Pray for our younger members
than to call our both those who are youth and those
congregations together in prayer. elder was responsible for keeping his who are new to faith. Pray that our
In our last pastorate, we launched or her portion of the service within families will become places of refuge
each new year with a Call to Prayer the allotted time. for their children and sources of light
service. Typically we began our hour- Our list of prayer topics changed for their neighbors. That our schools
long vigil sufficiently early on new from year to year, depending upon felt and teachers will reflect Jesus' love and
year's eve that those who had later needs or world circumstances. During that our congregations will extend
plans with family or friends could the Gulf War, for example, we prayed Jesus' acceptance and forgiveness.
start the evening's festivities in God's earnestly for peace. Among our Pray for those who feel left out or
sanctuary. international membership we had who are disenfranchised from the
What are the benefits of a those who prayed for the safety of church. Include those who long for
coordinated prayer effort? Your military troops and relatives on both connection but are unable to partici
members come together with the sides of the conflict. Another year, the pate because of distance, illness, or
specific intent of seeking God's will war for which we prayed was Satan's age, and for those who should long for
and hearing God's voice. continuing barrage against our church restoration but are disconnected by
Our congregation discovered that and school. backsliding, grudges, or unresolved
a core of our own members formed the You might consider several of the pain.
basic group of attendees, but that when following categories to initiate such a Pray for forgiveness and then act
the event was well publicized we prayer service with your localized upon God's answer. Remember the
welcomed a surprising number of challenges added to these topics. Biblical admonition to forgive in
individuals even guests who other Pray in praise. Give quality time order to receive forgiveness. The
wise did not attend our church. Those to express adoration of God, grateful beauty of choosing to forgive another
who needed prayer or who sought a ness for His mercy, thankfulness for individual is that it liberates your soul
spiritual entry to the new year came His saving grace through Jesus, and at the same time it obligates the other
along with those who were seeking expectation of the Holy Spirit's individual to deal seriously with their
spiritual refuge at the conclusion of enabling power for obedience to His own contribution to conflict.
hectic, overcrowded schedules. will. Pray for the problem solvers and
We organized our Call to Prayer Pray for the lost. Affirm God's the problem makers. Even while we
service around various local church good news that even the most rejoice in committed members who
elders, each assigned a specific topic for unlovable individuals are candidates lift the load and carry the weight,
which they came prepared to pray. for His kingdom. When we pray for much more good would be accom
During the fellowship gathering which the lost, it is not to change God's plished if problem-laden and
preceding our prayer service, attendees attitude toward the lost; He still loves problem-maker individuals (often the
were given a printed listing of the the world. When we pray for the lost same) would find healing and
various topics and an opportunity to God will change our mind toward the purpose in God's presence.
add their personal petitions and needs. lost so that we see their potential Pray for the coming ofJesus. We
Our service was solemn and through heaven's eyes. are Adventists because of the Advent.
informal. Attendees gathered in our Pray for leaders. It is appropriate The Blessed Hope sustains us and
nearly darkened sanctuary, with light to include world and local govern Blessed Assurance enables us to
focused only on an open Bible, a ment leaders, but even more essential joyfully anticipate and share the
painting of Jesus, or a banner which to pray for denominational and local consummation of all our hopes.
might show the theme for our new church leaders. As pastors, we might Pray for me. I need your prayers
year. Prayers were interspersed with be amazed at the earnestness with and you need mine. Let's build up each
hymns carefully selected to reflect the which our congregates lift up our other as pastoral colleagues and as
various categories of prayer. Each names and pray for our challenges. sinners in daily need of fresh grace.

Ministry/January 2000 29
M ugust 1994. Suddenly it hospital's pediatric ward. The response
L\ dawned on us. Pastors receive
A m. Ministry. Pastors' wives have
Something was so overwhelming that we were able
to present a box of new toys to the local
Shepherdess. But pastor's children have
nothing. It didn't seem fair.
We decided to do something about
new for PKs orphanage as well. Both agencies were
extremely grateful and expressed how
impressed they were by our community
it. "Why not," we asked ourselves, "cre SHAWNA 'AND involvement. For Christmas 1997 we
ate a magazine for pastors' kids? It NELITA TROTiVIAN sponsored a drive to help the residents
would affirm PKs everywhere and show of the home for the elderly.
them that we are a special and unique Riddles; Nature Nook; and Ask Aunt As for The PK, our plans this year
group. We, too, have a mission and a Claudette an advice column. The are ambitious and exciting. The maga
purpose. The magazine would let PKs magazine goes to the PKs in the 14 is zine will have a new color design for its
in our conference realize that they do lands that make up our conference. The cover, and its contents will be even more
count." conference comes under the Caribbean appealing.
We shared the idea with our father, The PKs of the North Caribbean
then President of our Conference (now Conference have a lot to be thankful for.
President of the Caribbean Union). He We thank God that our magazine has
loved it. "Why don't you put it into ac been in circulation for more than five
tion now?" he encouraged. years. It has been a blessing to us. We
Naturally, the challenge over are especially appreciative of the sup
whelmed us. We knew nothing about
pf pr e de<
decided port of our parents, sponsors, and the
magazines, but we were convinced that to do something about it. conference administration. In addition
this was an assignment from God. We we are grateful for the encouragement
got to work. "Why not" we asked given by Waveney Martinborough, di
First we held a PK meeting. We vision women's ministries director;
brainstormed. We shared ideas and ourselves, "create a magazine Jaime Castrejon, division ministerial
plans. We appointed a staff with Shawna secretary; and Sharon Cress, Shepherd
as the first editor-in-chief. Mrs. for pastors' kids? It would ess coordinator of the General Confer
Claudette Andrews, a pastor's wife and ence. By the grace of God we hope that
certified counselor, and Pastor Cleaver affirm PKs everywhere and this project will continue to be a bless
Callender were selected as sponsors. ing to the PKs of our conference and
The North Caribbean Conference be
show them that we are a will eventually spread, conference by
came our organizational sponsor. special and unique group. conference, throughout the world.
The first issue of The PK was re
leased in December 1994. PKs
throughout the conference enjoyed it,
and we encouraged readers to respond. Shawna Trotman, the first editor-in-
Now The PK is a quarterly maga Union in the Inter-American Division chief of The PK, recently graduated from
zine. It caters to all ages. Some of the of Seventh-day Adventists. West Indies College in nursing.
features of our magazine include: a Motivated by a common bond, the
Color Me page; Tiny Tots' Tale; News PKs in St. Croix organized for Christ Nelita, the current editor-in-chief, is a
Flash; a cartoon page; a story for the mas 1996 a "toy drive" to solicit new senior at St. Croix Seventh-day Adventist
older PKs; Fashion Police; Jokes and toys for the playroom of the island School.

Let Ministry move with you! Send address changes to Jeannette Calbi, Ministry, 12501 Old Columbia Pike, Silver Spri
7u Maryland 20904, or E-mail us at calbij@gc.adventist.org. Please notify us eight weeks in advance.
Please print clearly:
First Name Middle Initial Last Name

Old Street Address


City _______ State Zip Code Country

New Street Address


City _______ State Zip Code Country
Ministers Spouses local Church Elders
PKs Clergy of All Denominations

Seminar Update
VOTE: If you have already pre-registered for a cancelled seminar and/or
rant to change to a newly-added seminar, we will guarantee your choice at
foronto. If you have not already pre-registered, please keep the following
nformation in mind as you select your choices among the seminars.

fiig
283/484 Memorizing Scripture
109 Radio/TV/lnternet 114 Spiritual Growth in LordshipBen Maxson
599 Pastoring: Information Process (Spanish) 214 Contemporary Issues in Finance/Stewardship
297 The Role of the Holy Spirit Baptism (French) Ben Maxson
217 Personal Money Management for Pastor's Family
fits if Pardon Mwansa
las Four basic steps to financial management and a
116/316 Literature Evangelists Generate Interests clear system of managing personalfunds plus a
Ron Appenzeller plan to pay off debts and remain debt-free. Ten
Learn how to increase baptisms in your district by methods of how to increase home income.
utilizing Literature Evangelists. 314 Lordship and the Pastor's Home
115 Recapitulation in the Book of Revelation Ben and Mary Maxson
George Reid 414 Real Problems, Real LordFylvia Fowler Kline
Do the trumpets follow the seals chronologically. 106/216/315/415 A Faith that "Works in Each Cycle of Life
Accepting or rejecting recapitulation dramatically Tom Carter and Morris Venden
affects the interpretation of the Apocalypse. 245/446 Spreading His FameMichael Cafferky
346/448 Pastors Meeting the Secular Mind (English) Word-of-mouth networks are considered to be
Johann Gerhardt the most powerfulform of advertising and a
148 Pastors Meeting the Secular Mind (German) most effective medium for spreading the gospel.
Johann Gerhardt Note the impact when human effort is
What is the secular mind and how doAdventist combined with Divine power.
truths impact secular thinking. What are the 248/447 Successful Leadership in Multicultural Ministry
challenges and opportunities and the role of the Delbert Baker
local church and pastor. Dynamic, Christ-centered principles for leading
247/347 The Time Before the End (English)Udo Worschech diverse groups ofpeople.
499 The Time Before the End (German)Udo Worschech
The first written prophetic records within an
eschatological climate of wealth and self-
destruction in a nation originally called by God.

www.ministerialassociation.com
General Conference Ministerial Association
12501 Old Columbia Pike Silver Spring, MD 20904-6600
Phone: 301.680.6515 or 301.680.6499
E-mail: worldministerscouncil@gc.adventist.org
by 29,
Is ^$125 on 1}

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