Power of Full Engagement

No t e b o o k:

JOURNAL

A u t h o r:

farhanmweb@gmail.com

Cre at e d :

11/7/2016 10:45 AM

Up d at e d :
Lo c at io n :

11/17/2016 12:26 PM

San Mateo County, California, Unit

Managing energy, not time, is the key to enduring high performance, health, happiness, and life
balance. The number of hours in a day is fixed, but the quantity and quality of energy available to
us is not.
THE DYNAMICS OF FULL ENGAGEMENT

A New Paradigm:
Energy is the fundamental currency of high performance
Every thought, feeling, and actin has an energy consequence
Energy is simply the capacity to do work (physical quantity, emotional quality,
mental focus, spiritual force)
The ultimate measure of our lives is not how much time we spend on the planet, but
rather how much energy we invest in the time that we have
Measuring energy
Greatest Physical Quantity:
low volume -> high volume
Highest Emotional Quality:
negative -> positive
Clearest Mental Focus:
broad -> narrow
external -> internal
Maximum Spiritual Force:
self -> others
external -> internal
negative -> positive
The more we take responsibility for the energy we bring into the world, the more
empowered we become
Having rituals is way better than having self-discipline
Imagine that every time you did sloppy work on a project, you put someones life at
risk. That is called being accountable for the energy you bring out to the world
Life must be lived as a series of sprints: fully engaging for periods of time, and then
disengaging and seeking renewal before repeating the cycle
High positive energy flows from the perception of opportunity, adventure, and
challenge (approach)
Negative energy is created by the perception of threat, danger, and fears about
survival (avoidance)
The 4 Principles of Full Engagement:
Principle 1: Full engagement requires skillful management of four separate but
related sources of energy: Physical, Emotional, Mental, Spiritual
Principle 2: Because energy capacity diminishes both with overuse and underuse, we

must balance energy expenditure with intermittent energy renewal

Both overtraining and under-training have performance consequences (e.g.
persistent injuries, sickness, anxiety, negativity, anger, lack of focus, lack of
passion)
Principle 3: To build capacity, we must push beyond our normal limits, and then
rest (training in the same systematic way that elite athletes do)
Principle 4: Positive energy rituals - highly specific routines for managing energy are the key to full engagement and sustained high performance
A positive ritual is a behavior that becomes automatic over time - fueled by
some deeply held value
Making change happen - PRE Evaluation:
1. Step 1: Define Purpose
What are the most important values in my life?
Becoming the best version of myself possible
Providing for my family all their needs for a comfortable life
Improving the lives of others in a meaningful way
Nurturing others
Living in integrity and authenticity
Choosing courage over fear
What is the vision I have for myself?
Someone who is a subject matter expert in a specific domain
Someone who adds tremendous positive value to the lives of others
Someone for whom money is never a factor in making decisions for
family and with family
Someone who lives a fully engaged life
What are my deepest values?
Persistence
Consistent Self-improvement
The burning desire to live a fulfilling life
Care for the ones in despair
The courageous warrior lion
2. Step 2: Face the truth
How am I spending my energy now?
Physical: 67% engaged
Emotional: 28% engaged
Mental: 67% engaged
Spiritual: 28% engaged
3. Step 3: Take action
Build a personal development plan
Have positive energy rituals
The Pulse of High Performance - Balancing stress (expenditure of energy) and
recovery (renewal of energy)
Our lifelong energy objective: to burn as brightly as possible, for as long as possible,
in the service of what really matters. This requires:
the strongest possible physical pulse

the strongest possible emotional pulse

the strongest possible mental pulse
the strongest possible spiritual pulse
Following a period of high-stress activity, the body must replenish fundamental
biochemical sources of energy
If you increase the intensity of the performance demand, it is then necessary to in
parallel increase the amount of energy renewal
Physical strength diminishes without regular consistent exercise
Emotional depth and resilience depend on active engagement with others and with
our own feelings
Mental acuity diminishes in the absence of ongoing intellectual challenge
Spiritual energy capacity depends on regularly revisiting our deepest values and
holding ourselves accountable in our behavior
Recovery is more than simply the absence of work
This oscillation of stress and recovery is called the PULSE of life. The more powerful
your pulse, the more fully engaged you can be
Rhythms of life:
Circadian rhythm (24 hours daily rhythm)
Ultradian rhythm (90-120 minutes many times a day)
When we lack sufficient energy to meet the demands of life, we turn to
stimulants such as caffeine, cocaine to stay engaged
When we cant relax naturally, we turn to alcohol, marijuana to cool
down
Chronically elevated heart rates as well as chronically low heart rates
both compromise engagement
Life as a Sprint:
Break life down into a series of manageable intervals consistent with our own
physiological needs and with the periodic rhythms of nature
Use the breaks to maximize your recovery by building highly efficient and
focused recovery rituals
Sample recovery rituals (every 50 minutes):
Walking up and down a dozen flight of stairs
Juggling
Any addictive behavior (work, drugs, etc) prompts a highly linear form of energy
expenditure (non-pulsing)
Its not the intensity of energy expenditure that produces burnout, but rather the
duration of expenditure without recovery
to build capacity, we must systematically expose ourself to more stress - followed by
adequate recovery
Gradual and incremental exposure to increasing doses of stress
Regularly seeking recovery
So long as BOTH have occurred, it is possible to build capacity past our
previous limits
Accurately assessing the level of threat in our lives is critical if we are to continue to
grow rather than forever defending what we have

HIGHLY PHYSICALLY ENERGIZED - the most fundamental source of energy

Metrics:

strength:
endurance:
flexibility: broad range of muscle motion. Action = Stretching
resilience:
Exercising is a powerful way to detoxify negative emotions and to mental renewal
Physical energy is the fundamental source of fuel, even if our work is completely
sedentary!
Physical energy lies at the heart of alertness and vitality. It affects our ability to
manage our emotions, sustain concentration, think creatively, and maintain our
commitment to mission
Factors that determine our physical energy reservoir:
The patterns of our breathing
Deep smooth rhythmic breathing is simultaneously a source of energy,
alertness, focus as well as of relaxation, stillness, and quiet
The foods that we eat and when we eat them
Low glycemic index foods: whole grain, protein, strawberries, pears,
apples
Eat 6 whole, raw, green meals daily (every 3 hours)
Eat only as much as you need to drive your energy for the next 3 hours
Drinking water (64oz) is the most undervalued source of physical
energy renewal. By the time you feel thirsty, you are way past being
dehydrated
The quantity and quality of our sleep
7-8 hours of sleep daily
Going to bed early and waking up early help to optimize performance
The degree to which we get intermittent recovery during the day
Between 3 or 4pm we reach the lowest phase of both our ultradian and
our circadian rhythms
20 minute nap in between the day (sometime after lunch)
Change Channels and disengage from work -> step away and go for
a walk, listen to music and eat, 10 min yoga +10 min breathing
exercises
Limit weekend work to two periods - early morning Saturday, and late
evening Sunday
To sustain full engagement, we must take a recovery break every 90120 minutes
The level of our fitness
Strength training + Cardiovascular training
Avoiding stress is just as destructive to capacity as excessive stress
without recovery

POSITIVELY EMOTIONALLY CONNECTED

Metrics:
strength
endurance
flexibility: the capacity to move freely and appropriately along a wide
spectrum of emotions, rather than responding rigidly or defensively
resilience: ability to bounce back from experiences of disappointment,

frustration, and loss

Relationships are one of the most powerful potential sources of emotional renewal
The deepest expression of emotional capacity is the ability to experience a full range
of feelings, from both ends of the spectrum (or holding paradoxical emotions at the
same time):
toughness and tenderness
self control and spontaneity
honesty and compassion
generosity and thriftiness
openness and discretion
passion and detachment
patience and urgency
caution and boldness
confidence and humility
Physical energy is the raw fuel for igniting our emotional skills and talents
eliminate negative emotions that arise out of threat or deficit (fear, frustration,
anger, sadness, depression). They serve survival but are costly and inefficient
In order to perform at our best, we must access pleasant and positive emotions
(enjoyment, challenge, adventure, opportunity)
Systematically build emotional muscle capacity by devising rituals to push past your
current capacity...and then recover (just like building your biceps)
The key muscles (competencies) that fuel positive emotion are:
Self confidence
Live each day guided by your own deepest values instead of worrying
about what others think of you
Reach out to people regularly for professional leads (courage
brownie points into self-confidence bank) instead of being afraid
of rejection
Be tactfully genuine and authentic with people (courage brownie
points into self-confidence bank) instead of people-pleasing
Volunteer and give back to society using your biggest talents
(positive reinforcement brownie points into self confidence
bank)
Self-control (self-regulation)
Social skills (interpersonal effectiveness)
building intimacy though scheduled dinner/lunch/talking dates
Quiet time with wife to talk and catch up
Date nights with wife/kid
Lunch every Friday with work colleagues / direct reports
Once every month, social activity with work colleagues or team
at the end of the work day
Taking the time to meet work colleagues for a quick chat during
recovery breaks
Empathy
Other smaller supportive muscles are:
Patience
10 minute pranayama during renewal breaks
relaxing body scans during renewal breaks
Openness
introduce some spontaneity in decision making

Trust

prayer to god in gratitude

Enjoyment
Ritual time devoted to activities purely for the pleasure and renewal
they provide
When creating the ritual, Depth or Quality of emotional renewal is a
vital dimension to pay attention to
Low quality emotional renewal
TV (akin to eating junk food)
High quality emotional renewal
Relationships (with a vibrant pulse of give and take):
dinner with a close friend
spending time with loved ones
playing with Leila/babies
Playing Table Tennis
reading and making notes
watching a good movie occasionally
reading science fiction
nature hiking
relaxing and letting go
MENTALLY FOCUSED

Metrics:
strength: ability to quickly organize amidst chaos
endurance: ability to sustain focus and concentration over time
flexibility: the capacity to move between the rational and the intuitive, and to
embrace multiple points of view
resilience
complete disconnection is a powerful source of mental renewal
Learning something new regularly pushes us to develop the mental muscles that
serve performance

The key muscles for Mental Energy are:

Realistic optimism
It means to see the world as is, but always working positively towards
a desired outcome
The supportive muscles for Mental Energy are:
Mental preparation
Ritual:
Thinking through the day ahead in the minds eye
Meditation
Pomodoros of focused work
Prioritized work day-plan: urgent-important matrix
Active visualization
Ritual:
Visualizing how you want to handle the specific challenges you
face
Visualizing your ideal self

Positive self-talk
A single negative thought is what gets you hit in the face - Boxing
champion Ray Mancini
Positive thinking generates mental energy. Negative thinking sucks
out mental energy
Rituals:
write perceived threats in a journal & then recast them as
challenges/opportunities.
ask what is the worst case scenario? Will I survive it?
write a gratitude list of things you feel thankful and appreciative
for
Effective time management
Managing time is not an end in itself. Rather it serves the higher goal
of effective energy management
Creativity
creativity is an oscillation between analytical thinking (left brain,
engagement) and bigger-perspective imaginations (right brain,
disengagement)
step 1: insight (or the initial inspiration)
step 2: saturation (or gathering information in a methodical, step by
step way from multiple sources)
step 3: incubation (or mulling over the ideas)
step 4: illumination (or the breakthrough)
step 5: verification (or analyzing, codifying, and translating the creative
breakthrough into rational accessible language)
Rituals:
painting, yoga breaks (2x10m daily)
Changing channels mentally permits different parts of the brain to be
activated and facilitates creativity

Systematically build mental muscle capacity by devising rituals to push past your
current capacity...and then recover (just like building your biceps)
Almost all of the time, people get their best ideas when they are in a relaxed
state - shower, nature walk, meditation, resting
The greatest geniuses sometimes accomplish more when they work less
(and take completely-disengaged breaks in between) - Leo da Vinci
Much as it is true physically and emotionally, the brain needs time to recover
from exertion while learning new information or having new experiences
SPIRITUALLY ALIGNED - the most significant source of energy

Metrics:
strength: commitment to ones deepest values, regardless of circumstances or
personal sacrifice
endurance
flexibility: the tolerance for values and beliefs that are difference than ones
own, so long as those values dont bring harm to others
resilience
Spiritual = connection to a deeply held set of values and to a purpose beyond your

self interest
Spiritual energy provides the motivation for us to spend our physical, emotional,
mental energy. It is a unique force for action in all dimensions of our lives. It is the
most powerful source of our motivation, perseverance, and direction
Expanding spiritual capacity requires subordinating our own needs for something
beyond our self-interest
It is a mark of courage to set aside self-interest in order to be of service to others or
to a cause
Paradoxically, self-absorption ultimately drains energy and impedes performance.
The more preoccupied we are with our own fears and concerns, the less energy we
have available to take positive action
It does not really matter what we expect from life, but rather what life expects from
us. We need to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead think of ourselves
as those who are being questioned by life - hourly and daily. Our answer must
consist not in talk and meditation, but in right action and in right conduct. Life
ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answers to its problems
and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual - Viktor Frankl
What man actually needs is not a tensionless state, but rather the striving and
struggling for a worthwhile goal, a freely chosen task - Viktor Frankl
We are much better than we know. We have unrealized capacities that sometimes
only emerge in crisis. The purpose of suffering is improvement" - Lance Armstrong
The key muscle for spiritual energy:
Character
It is the courage and conviction to live by our values, even when doing
so requires personal sacrifice and hardship
Supportive spiritual muscles:
Passion
Commitment
Indecisiveness, people-pleasing, and lack of assertiveness are spiritual
obstacles
The solution is self care:
set aside time before the event and visualize the event
going successfully
when an issue arises, step back and ask yourself: what
do i really believe here?, and then listen to your
instinctive response
when agreeing with a point of view too readily, step back
and ask yourself: who am i trying to please here?
Integrity
Doing what you say you are going to do when you say you are going to
do it
Lack of integrity is a spiritual obstacle
The solution is self care:
ask two key questions before saying you are going to do
something:
Is this something i need to do myself?
If yes, when does it need to be done, and can i
reasonably do it by then?
Honesty
Telling the truth to yourself and to others

Lying and exaggerating are spiritual obstacles

the solution is self-care:
observe for exaggerations made
immediately correct any exaggerations that slipped out
Spiritual energy is sustained by balancing a commitment to others with adequate
self-care
Commitment to others:
activities aimed at being of service to others
deepening compassion
helping experience interconnectedness
Rituals:
devoting time and energy to family
service to others - big brother, volunteering, tutoring, coaching,
mentoring
Self care (spiritual renewal):
seeking ways to rest and rejuvenate, and to reconnect with the values
that we find most inspiring and meaningful
Rituals:
have a vision of what you want from life
walk in nature
read an inspirational book
hear a great speaker
listen to classical music
meditation
yoga
prayer to god in gratitude
Systematically build spiritual muscle capacity by devising rituals to go deeper - to
challenge your complacency and expediency
TRAINING FOR FULL ENGAGEMENT or BECOMING A CORPORATE ATHLETE

Meditation, Prayer, and Yoga cut into all 4 dimensions and simultaneously build capacity as
well as provide recovery
STAGE 1: DEFINING A PURPOSE BEYOND YOUR IMMEDIATE SELF INTEREST

Purpose fuels performance

Finding your purpose is "the heroes journey
Once the purpose is found, we celebrate and acknowledge this accomplishment. But
the process does not end there. Living out our purpose is a lifelong challenge. The
heros journey then is grounded in mobilizing, nurturing, and regularly renewing his
most precious resource - energy - in the service of what matters most
Just like deep roots help a palm tree weather severe tropical storms, I too need firm
beliefs and compelling values which will help me hold my ground when faced with
adversity
The thing that keeps us from finding meaning are failure to actively engage in life
and a certain laziness or lack of caring that allows us to let others make our

decisions and tell us what things mean

Use life as a vehicle through which to express your deepest value
3 elements of a deeper sticky purpose:
POSITIVITY
Instead of having a purpose be something you run away from
(disapproval, threat), make it something you move towards (nurturing,
excellence)
Reframe a 'threat' to a challenge', so you can realign your actions with
your purpose and introduce a whole new range of possibilities into your
life
INTRINSIC:
instead of being motivated in order to avoid scarcity (more money,
more approval, more social standing), chose to be motivated to do
something because of the inherent satisfaction it provides
We feel more passion for and derive more pleasure from doing what
we "freely choose" and "most enjoy
SERVING SOMETHING BEYOND ONESELF
Instead of serving yourself, make others life better
e.g. helping others, alleviate suffering, eliminate difficult or tedious toil,
make someone healthier and happier, aesthetically or intellectually
enrich people, or improve the environment in which we live
Clarifying purpose takes quiet, uninterrupted time

Is the life I am living worth what I am giving up to have it?

what am i giving up?

joy at work, working with integrity, working with full awareness,

working with joy, working with enthusiasm, intellectual stimulation

what life am i living?

a work life for money alone

working to continue doing what i dont want to do
submission to non-respectworthy people
steady pay check
miserable at work
disengaged for 2/3rd of my waking life!
Step 1: Defining Values helps define purpose
Values are roadmaps for action
Values have intrinsic worth. They provide a source of meaning and inspiration
that cannot be taken away from us

Jump ahead to the end of your life. What are the three most important
lessons you have learnt and why are they so critical?

Take breaks often to stop and smell the roses, and appreciate their
existence - because life will pass us by quickly and swiftly if we move
continuously from one thing to the other
The warrior lion with heart dominates the terrorizing hunter tiger
eventually. Knowing this helps during the down times when the lion is
getting terrorized
Stressing about things is completely useless and does absolutely ZERO
benefit to you. This is critical because I can focus precious energy
towards positive goals instead

Think of someone that you deeply respect. Describe three qualities in this
person that you most admire.

Aamir Khan, Eben Pagan, Ghazanfar

Structured educated meticulous preparation
Sheer dedication to their craft
Proud & humble at the same time - no one in the world is more
or less worthy, more or less important than I. True humility
means recognizing that I am equally flawed as everyone else,
and therefore equally deserving of and dependent on love and
support - no more and no less.
Relaxed alertness
Accept the divine love that god gives them

Who are you at your best?

Structured
Focused
Persistent

What one sentence inscription would you like to see on your tombstone that
would capture who you really were in your life?

Here lies farhan joyfully spent because he completely and thoroughly

lived his life in full engagement
My rules of engagement (without all the platitudes):
Persistence
Integrity
Commitment
Excellence
Creativity
Mentoring/Nurturing/Teaching
Learning
Courage
Relaxed Alertness / Fully engaged
Smeller of roses
Fighting with a Lions heart
Meticulous preparation
Sheer dedication to craft
Accepting of divine love from the universe
Structured
Focused
Balanced
Freedom
Gratitude
Strongly held values drive full engagement in all arenas of our lives
Step 2: From the above list, select your primary values that most motivate you
Integrity
Accepting of the divine love from the universe
Structured hard work
Fighting with a Lions heart
Learning
Relaxed Alertness
Nurturing
Step 3: Define precisely how you intend to embody the values in your daily life
I will live true to myself and my intuition no matter how hard the
circumstances may get

I will accept with open arms the love that I get from everyone and the divine
I will work 10 pomodoros (organized by priority) every work day
I will fight against adversity with courage and never give in..never ever give in
I will be open to learning from the universe - I will observe and fully engage
or completely disengage
I will control and be aware of my breath while getting out of my head
I will fully embrace opportunities to mentor and nurture another being
Step 4: Create a personal and professional vision statement - It will create a
blueprint for how to invest your energy
"Above all else, I live true to myself and my intuition no matter how hard the
circumstances may get. I completely accept and embrace my feelings. I fight
with a lions heart for what i believe in and never ever give in, but remain
open to learning and growing. I do what I say I will do and when I say
I will do it. As a craftsman, I fully commit to structured hard work and
embrace the apprentice grind - so as to provide abundance and joyful
experiences to my loved ones. I accept with open arms the love that I get
from everyone and the divine, and am grateful for it. I openly embrace
nurturing opportunities to be of service to others. I either stay fully engaged in
the real world in a state of relaxed alertness (by being aware of my
breathing), or in a state of pure strategic disengagement - no in-betweens"
Rituals:
Revisit your vision statement every morning
STAGE 2: FACE YOUR TRUTH - UNDERSTAND & ACCEPT YOUR PRESENT SITUATION
Each of us has an infinite capacity for self-deception
Denial is effectively a form of disengagement
Both denial, and self-deception require energy, which is then no longer available for
more productive activities
At the most basic level, we deceive ourselves in order to protect our self-esteem (our
image of who we are or who we wish to be)
The central defect of evil is not the sin, but the refusal to acknowledge it
Methods of denial:
Numbing out with drugs and alcohol
Rationalization - assuming our view represents the truth, when it is really just
a lens through which we choose to view the world
Intellectualizing
Projection
Pessimistic attitude (imagining the worst in every situation)
Anger and impatience
Failure to oscillate
To face the truth also means to acknowledge and celebrate our strengths
Facing the truth requires making yourself the object of inquiry
Conduct an audit of your life

How fully engaged are you in your work? What is standing in your way?
3 - spending time away from my newly married wife whom i
feel responsible for, working for someone who i do not respect,
working for someone who does not acknowledge my existence,
not freely choosing the work i am doing, not interested in the
work i am doing, no sure whether this is the work i want to

commit myself to for life, not willing to put in the effort into
mastery

How closely does your everyday behavior match your values and serve
your mission? where are the disconnects?
not closely at all. The disconnects are almost everywhere.
Besides structured work, remaining open to learning, and
occasional focus, and nurturing, there is disconnect in:
authenticity
dont say what i feel
am not assertive
am not sincere
am not honest
complain internally
i have self-doubt
doubt my capabilities
doubt my feelings
i dont really grind and hustle
skip the alarm
dont work 10 pomodoros
dont accept the love of the divine and of everyone
am not happy
do not show vulnerability
dont have gratitude
do not pray
dont really serve others joyfully
complain internally when i do serve and nurture
am almost never fully relaxed alert
self-absorbed
do not disengage completely
self-absorbed

How do your habits of eating, sleeping, exercising affect your available

energy?
I am OK on this front

How much negative energy do you invest in defense spending frustration, anger, fear, resentment, envy - as opposed to positive
energy utilized in the service of growth and productivity?

I need a lot of work here. I spend an extremely large amount of

energy in frustration, anger, fear, resentment, envy

How much energy do you invest in yourself, and how much in others,
and how comfortable are you with that balance? How do those closest
to you feel about the balance youve struck?

I spend too much time self-absorbed, and little time in service to

others. I dont feel good about being too self-absorbed.

How much energy do you spend worrying about, feeling frustrated by,
and trying to influence events beyond your control?
I need a lot of work here.

How wisely and productively are you investing your energy?

id say a 3
My key performance barriers (here build your first set of small incremental
rituals):

Lack of integrity - Spiritual

Negative attitude - Emotional / Mental
Low stress tolerance - Mental / Spiritual
Lack of passion - Spiritual
Low self-confidence - Emotional
Inflexible / rigid - Emotional
High anxiety - Mental / Physical
Negative / pessimistic thinking - Emotional / Mental / Spiritual
hold yourself accountable for the energy consequences of your behaviors
It is both a danger and a delusion when we become too identified with any singular
view of ourselves - for better or for worse. We open to a more complete picture,
when we can step back and develop the capacity for self-observation. WITNESS
Hold two paradoxical thoughts simultaneously in your mind - fierce resolve and
humility
When we are not busy spending energy protecting our turf, we have the potential to
see more of the truth and continue to learn and grow
That which you really dislike in the other, is your repressed side. Whenever you
really dislike something in someone, ask yourself how is that me?
Until we lovingly laughingly embrace all of who we are, we remain our own worst
enemies
God grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change; the courage to
change the things i can; and the wisdom to know the difference
When we have nothing left to hide, we no longer fear exposure. Vast energy is freed
up to fully engage in our lives
Truth without compassion is cruelty - to others and to ourselves
What we fail to acknowledge about ourselves, we continue to act out unconsciously
Accepting our limitations reduces our defensiveness and increases the amount of
positive energy available to us
STAGE 3 - TAKE ACTION - THROUGH POSITIVE RITUALS
95% of our daily actions are actually ingrained unconscious habits
Rituals provide a stable framework in which creative breakthroughs can occur
A well defined ritual PULLS us to action, in contrast to will and discipline which
pushes us
We have the capacity for very few conscious acts of self control in a day (will power)
Rituals insure an effective balance between energy expenditure and energy renewal
Our dual challenge is to hold fast to our rituals when the pressure in our lives
threaten to throw us off track, and to periodically revisit and change them so that
they remain fresh
Factors that dramatically increase the likelihood of ritual success
Precision of behavior:
Planning what exactly you plan to do
Perfect practice makes perfect
If you cannot perform a particular task effectively when you are feeling
relaxed and unpressured, it is unlikely that you will be able to do so
when the pressure is high. The less thinking people have to do when
under adverse pressure, the better.
Specificity of timing:
Planning when exactly you plan to do

'Run towards instead of run away from

Instead of making a i wont do xyz ritual, make it a i will do abc
ritual
Small incremental changes
maximum one significant change every 30 days
Chart the course
Before beginning the new ritual, (in the shower maybe):
Revisit your mission
Clarify what you intend to accomplish
Clarify how you want to conduct yourself along the way
Chart the progress
At the end of each day, write on your daily accountability log:
measure at the end of the day how you did compared to your
plan and your values (a simple yes/no check on a list can
suffice)
This is not to chastise yourself, but instead it is simply data to prevent
self-deception and to study oneself
Ritual examples:
Ultra short but effective rejuvenating rituals:
60 seconds of deep breathing
listening to a favorite song
making a quick call home to check in and connect with a family
member
walking up and down four flights of stairs
during breaks, reflect on your values
Efficient work sprints for writers
90m sessions writing early before anything
breakfast
90m sessions writing
10m exercise + 10m meditation + 10m meal
90m sessions writing
lunch
afternoon: reading and research for the book + other work
evening: spend time with family
Husband & Wife rituals
set aside 90m saturday morning uninterrupted
for the first 45m the passive person initiates and we talk about
whatever is on their mind
then, the more assertive person takes the center stage
weekly date night
be home for dinner 25 nights a month
After work, stop by the park in your car for a few minutes and
breathe to disconnect from work and connect to family life and
emotions
send a message to loved ones one a day atleast
Personal rituals
plan the workout, the craft work, the diet schedule the night before
morning SAVERS ritual
create an index card of your vision statement, and slip it under the
visor of your car - review on the way to work, and on the way home

every morning, write down your virtue statements along with your
affirmations
during your commute home, make a call to someone you care about father, mother, siblings, friends
first two hours of work - highest leverage items only. No email, no
messages.
become more rigorous about your breaks
have lunch with one of your direct reports once every week
when under pressure, take deep breaths, and ask yourself what would
someone who is cool and the shit do?" and act as if
90-120m of intensive effort followed by shorter periods of recovery and
renewal (over 40 years)
To build capacity, first increase stress in physical domain, then in
emotional domain, then in mental domain, then in spiritual domain
To initiate change, first increase stress spiritually (connect to a
purpose), then build mental rituals, then emotional , then physical
go to bed early and wake up early
go to sleep and wake up consistently at the same times
minimize simple sugars
get some physical activity daily
Eat Almonds, Apples, Beans, Cabbage, Cashews, Cherries, Chicken,
Apricots, eggs, walnuts, green vegetables, lentils, milk, protein shakes
Eat ranges, peaches, peanut butter, peanuts, pears, pecans,
pistachios, plums, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, tuna, turkey
Minimize bagels, baked potatoes, breads, cakes, candy, carrots,
cereals, cookies, corn chips, cupcakes, dates, donuts, french friends,
crackers, pretzels, sodas, wafers, waffles, watermelon
Building the small muscles
PHYSICAL
get 7-8 hours sleep
eat 5-6 nutritious small meals a day
exercise strength & cardiovascular in High Intensity
Interval Training
drink 3L of water a day
EMOTIONAL
practice patience through deep belly breath breaks often
be open to spontaneity and flexible schedules at fixed
intervals
build trust in yourself and in others and in the divine
learn to let go and enjoy at fixed intervals - play table
tennis
MENTAL
visualize how you will handle a stressful situation in detail
before heading into it
write perceived threats in a journal & then recast them
as challenges/opportunities
write a gratitude list of things you feel thankful and
appreciative for
switch between 50m of high intensity logical work and
10m of creative relaxation

SPIRITUAL
Practice telling the truth to yourself and eliminating
exaggerations
always do what you say you will when you say you will
take small baby steps of courage when you fear doing
something
be persistent in everything you do
Building the big muscles
PHYSICAL
Cardio exercise
Core exercise
Shoulder and Back exercise
Legs Exercise
Arms Exercise
EMOTIONAL
Live each day guided by your own deepest values instead
of worrying about what others think of you
Revisit your self-confidence affirmations daily
Practice moderation in everything you do
build deeper intimacy though scheduled
dinner/lunch/talking dates with friends and family
spend time volunteering and listening to others
MENTAL
Visualize your positive ideal self
Think through the day ahead in the minds eye
Prioritized work day-plan: urgent-important matrix
Pomodoros of focused time chunks
Practice creative exercises
SPIRITUAL
Practice stepping back and asking yourself what do i
really believe in here?
Revisit your vision statement and your primary values as
often as possible daily
positively devote time and energy in service to family
volunteer your time in service to others
Alignment across physical, mental, emotional, spiritual dimensions is what drives
performance