Renowned family therapist K.

Virginia Satir once said the vast majority of families will go

through periods of dysfunction as they adapt to a changing world. Any system open to growth
and change will experience dysfunction as it changes (and, remember, that during times of
change, things will often get worse before they get better.)
The majority of families are working hard to improve their family life rather than
giving up-or disintegrating. For example, surveys in 1962-63 revealed that 85% of all
fathers said raising kids was primarily a mother's responsibility. Now surveys show that
about 40% of all fathers think raising children is a joint responsibility. Twenty-five years
ago when I taught family-oriented workshops, about 10% of the participants were fathers.
Today, fathers make up about 35% of the attendees. This speaks volumes about the health
of American families. Resiliency studies consistently show that having involved parents is a
very strong protective factor for children.
Families are facing challenges each day with optimism, hope and commitment (angajament).
And while modern American lifestyles can scatter (imprastia) family members in various ways,
many families are learning to "reintegrate" themselves so they can preserve (conserva) the
strength inherent in families that have healthy bonds (legaturi sanatoase

MYTH: THE "DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY."

"I am the way I am because I come from a dysfunctional family."
REALITY: MOST FAMILIES FUNCTION ON SOME LEVEL.

We hear the statement above all the time. But the "dysfunctional family" is a stereotype. Most
families function. They just may not be functioning in all ways according to the ideal of certain
best-selling authors. Not all so-called "dysfunctional" families do everything in dysfunctional
ways, nor do all so-called "functional" families do everything in healthy ways. Nor does any
family affect any two members the same way. For example, three children raised by the same
parent(s) may report very different perceptions of that family.
We are having the experiences we are having because of the way we are currently responding to
issues from our family. What's important about this knowledge is that we can choose to respond
to those issues in ways that make us feel good or at peace with ourselves. In other words, if our
learned responses to unsettling family issues have not made us feel good in the past, we can learn
different responses that will make us feel better in the future.
MYTH: ABUSED CHILDREN GROW UP TO BE ABUSIVE PARENTS.

Research indicates that approximately 90% of all abusive parents were themselves abused as
children.

REALITY: MOST ABUSED CHILDREN DO NOT GROW UP TO BE ABUSIVE PARENTS.

Many people are familiar with this statistic and jump to the conclusion that if a child is abused,
he or she will grow up to be an abuser. The statistic above relates to parents who are identified by
some social institution as being abusive. Adults who were abused children but don't abuse their
own children are not reported to authorities.
Research from the Department of Health and Human Services shows that 60%-65% of abused
children do not repeat a pattern of abuse when they have children. Some research indicates that
children who learn to act upon emotions rather that react to them are able to break the pattern. It
is the child who thinks she caused the parent's anger that caused an abusive act, who has no
contingency plan for dealing with feelings of anger. When that child has children of her own and
feels angry with them, she believes her children cause her anger (as she had once caused her
parent's anger), so the only reaction she knows is to hurt the children.
An abused child who asks, "When I get angry with my children, what can I do to handle the
anger differently?" is setting out on a different path. As adolescents or as adults facing this
question, they may remember that their friends' parents didn't express anger by means of verbal
or physical abuse. Or, through reading or seeing movies, they may come to understand that there
are many ways to handle anger and to relate to others that don't involve harming another.

MYTH: "THIS" GENERATION IS PARTICULARLY AT RISK.

Many people express the belief that most American young people are doing poorly and are
hostile toward adults. Some studies have even shown that increasing numbers of adults admit to
being frightened by young people in general and will go to significant lengths to avoid contact
with them.
REALITY: MOST YOUNG PEOPLE TODAY ARE VERY MUCH LIKE THE
GENERATIONS THAT HAVE COME BEFORE THEM.

Constant references in the media and in conversation to negative trends regarding young people
skew our perspective. No matter how "bad" things have become in America, we have never
reached the point where more than 20-25% of our young people become statistics in human or
welfare services or the criminal justice system (many hwo do become involved in those systems
are counted several times in all three systems, hence the high percentage). Basic math indicates

that the vast majority of young people are growing up in family and community environments
that prepare them reasonably well for the routine tasks of life-the same as preceding generations.
And while popular myth has it that most young people don't respect adults as they once did, the
facts show something else. A recent nationwide study by Search Institute asked young people
aged 12 to 18 to name the three people they most look up to. More than 55% identified one or
both parents. The next largest percentage-about 47%-named a teacher, counselor, youth worker,
grandparent or other adult mentor. Tallying in with much lower percentages-18-20%-were sports,
entertainment and political celebrities.
Young people also were asked whom they would consult or whom they could count on to be
there for them if they had a serious problem. Again, parents topped the list at more then 50%.
Next, 40-43% ,came counselors, student assistance workers, teachers and other adult mentors.
Then, ahead of their friends, came their friends' parents. When asked why they would go to an
adult rather than a friend with a problem, the typical response was, "My friends don't know much
more about things than I do. I need someone with experience to rely on."
The majority of families in the United States are doing OK at their job of raising kids.
They're functioning fairly well, even though they may go through periods of difficulty.
Families are producing children who view their parents and many other adults as people
they can look up to and count on.

Same Sex Family

Gay parents "tend to be more motivated, more committed than heterosexual parents on average
(in medie), because they chose to be parents. Gays and lesbians rarely become parents by
accident, compared with an almost 50 percent accidental pregnancy rate among heterosexuals.
That translates to greater commitment on average and more involvement. These kids may have
the advantage of open-mindedness, tolerance and role models for equitable relationships,
according to some research.
An October 2011 report by Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute found that, of gay and lesbian
adoptions at more than 300 agencies, 10 percent of the kids placed were older than 6 typically
a very difficult age to adopt out. About 25 percent were older than 3. Sixty percent of gay and
lesbian couples adopted across races, which is important given that minority children in the
foster system tend to linger (sa rataceasca). More than half of the kids adopted by gays and
lesbians had special needs.
The report didn't compare the adoption preferences of gay couples directly with those of
heterosexual couples, but research suggests that gays and lesbians are more likely than
heterosexuals to adopt older, special-needs and minority children. Part of that could be their own

preferences, and part could be because of discrimination by adoption agencies (agentiile de

adoptii) that puts more difficult children with what caseworkers see as "less desirable" parents.
Brodzinsky told LiveScience, gays and lesbians are highly interested in adoption as a group. The
2007 report by the Urban Institute also found that more than half of gay men and 41 percent of
lesbians in the U.S. would like to adopt. That adds up to an estimated 2 million gay people who
are interested in adoption. It's a huge reservoir of potential parents who could get kids out of the
instability of the foster system, Brodzinsky said.

Good parenting
Research has shown that the kids of same-sex couples both adopted and biological kids
fare no worse than the kids of straight couples on mental health, social functioning, school
performance and a variety of other life-success measures.
In a 2010 review of virtually every study on gay parenting, New York University sociologist
Judith Stacey and University of Southern California sociologist Tim Biblarz found no differences
between children raised in homes with two heterosexual parents and children raised with lesbian
parents.
1. The child gets the opportunity to get the benefits from new parents both in health and financial
support. Since there are many children that are off for adoption, gay parents are able to pour (sasi reverse) all their love for their child through tangible and non-tangible things (pentru lucruri
reale sau ireale).
2. Gay parents get to start their own family and give a home to an orphan. They get to show how
they care for their child and give their adopted child a complete family that they did not
experience.
3. Children get to grow in a home that is filled with love and affection since the gay parents
know how they want their children to grow appreciating their life.
4. Adoptive parents are increasing and are able to lessen (a diminua) the children staying in
welfare (ajutor social) communities. It is also considered as the best alternative for the foster-care
system that leaves child wanting to have the same family or attention given by their foster
parents while temporarily staying with them.

The pros of gay parenting are not all about the benefits of the new family unit but also in the
society. Gay parents are able to help in focusing on the welfare of children and give every child
that they adopt the opportunity in living in a loving family.

Interracial Family
1. Acceptance of New Culture
One of the biggest advantages to interracial marriage is the ability to learn more about a new
culture. When you only have relationships with people from your own culture, you do not
expand your knowledge and are often less accepting of others. Being in a relationship with
someone from another culture ensures that you are exposed to others. This means that you have
the ability to learn about and experience foods, religion, music and so much more from a
different culture that you are likely not familiar with. Stepping outside of what you know is good
for just about everyone and allows you to have a new perspective. You are a much more well
rounded person when you learn about other cultures.
2. Break Stereotypes
Interracial marriage is also good because it helps to chip away at some of the stereotypes that
have been ingrained into society. You are able to show your partner that the negative stereotypes
about your race are not true and they can do the same for you. Whatever prejudices you might
have held, you are bale to let them go and will not pass them onto your children. This means that
you are helping to stop the cycle of stereotypes and racism. When you are accepting of others, it
can sometimes help to make others around you more accepting.

Interracial Parent Pairs Invest More

In 2007, a study published in the American Journal of Sociology shows that interracial parents
invest more in their children's education than similar parents of a single race. They provide more
educational tools and materials at home -- from home computers to flashcards -- they pay for
higher-quality education and their kids attend more enrichment activities such as dance or sports
outside of school. Interracial parents were "aware of the challenges their children will be facing.
In turn, they try to compensate for this," according to the report. It's worth noting one exception
to this pattern: children with a black father and a white mother had fewer resources invested in
them than other children.

Multiracial Kids, Proud and Relaxed

In 2009, another study on biracial children was published in the Journal of Social Issues. This
paper demonstrated that kids who identified as multiracial -- as more than one ethnicity or race -were more psychologically resilient and less stressed out than their peers, on average. An
important detail: this was true even if their peers were in a higher-status racial group. The
researchers, Kevin Binning and Miguel Unzueta, hypothesized that "it might be that individuals

who identify with multiple groups are better able to navigate both racially homogeneous and
heterogeneous environments."

Richer Cultural Resources

Kelly Burrello of the Diversity Training Group has another take on the advantages of interracial
families. Interracial families tend to live in a more culturally diverse environment -- they live in
mixed neighborhoods, have a richer set of family traditions, customs and sometimes languages to
draw from and function as living bridges between communities. Perhaps most importantly,
Burrello also notes that "In a world marked by racial boundaries, multiracial families provide
convincing evidence that races can coexist, not only in the same neighborhood but in the same
home." Or even the same person.