Even if a snake is not poisonous, it should pretend to be venomous.

There is this small story which was narrated to me by my mother. It makes absolute sense in
todays world & to the ways of living in here. Once there was a snake. The snake was bad, as
it used to bite almost everyone coming its way.The village children and villagers were very
afraid of going out in the dark. Once a saint was passing by that village & saw that bad snake
almost about to bite a child. The saint raised his voice at the snake & warned that should he
not leave this nature of his; he shall be cursed forever. The snake promised that from then
onwards it shall not bite anyone. Time passed. After a few months, when the same saint
passes by the same village; he sees the village kids playing with the same snake. He sees that
the village boys have almost beaten the snake into a pulp. The snake looks at the saint with a
blaming eye & explains him that it is because of that promise only that he is in such a state.
The saint tells the snake I had told you not to bite. I had not stopped you from pretending
to be venomous / showing your fangs.
It is important that in the present days world order- you keep some nuisance value else
even children might stampede your feelings. You should not be vulnerable and very much
malleable and ductile so that anyone can get away with you. Your truth should be known to
you. Make your fangs visible to the world. They need not know whether you have poison in
them. It is basic survival instinct.
There is some self-interest behind every friendship.
friendship without self-interests. This is a bitter truth.

There

is

no

Always ask yourself this question- What is the interest of this person; while he is getting
closer. I am not saying that you be a thorough cynic. But it is important to be part cynic
while you are looking to be a very good manager of your life & the relationships in it. It is
good to be cautious once in a while. The essence is: we look for something in every
relationship that we share. So, you must be prepared if your friend asks you for something
in return. Particularly those at the top positions in life need to remember this. Most of your
friends around will want you to do something for them in return for their presence in your
life.
3) The biggest guru-mantra is: Never share your secrets with anybody. It
will destroy you.
The funda is simple: If you cannot keep a secret- How do you expect the other person to
keep it. In B-Schools/ offices / kitty party circles etc. people are just reacting in rarified
atmospheres. Science says that gases react more in such an atmosphere. What it leads to is-

People changing loyalties very fast to gain acceptability. Think about it from a business
house perspective. Who was with you yesterday might change parties and be with someone
else for his own benefit. What if he spills the beans on you and gives up on some of your
secrets? It will be catastrophic for you and your business. Hence sharing secrets might
become perilous. Even when you trust someone very trustworthy, exercising caution is
always advisable.
An egoist can be won over by being respected, a crazy person can be won over
by allowing him to behave in an insane manner and a wise person can be won
over by truth.
An egoist loves to be respected, a mad man loves to act crazy and a wise man realizes truth
to be the most important thing. An egoist will never understand your point of view because
his ego is his highest prerogative. You can win him over only by scaling down your ego and
trying respect for a change. Ego clashes will take you nowhere in life. As far as a mad man is
concerned, insanity in life and its ways is his way of doing things. He is tame when he is with
insane people or behaving crazy. So give him the freedom to be himself if you want to win
him over. And, a wise person is wise. He understands the value and importance of truth.
Give him truth and he is yours to work with. Try doing anything else with any of the above
three; youll only end up burning your fingers/ egos & more importantly time.
5) Once you start working on something, dont be afraid of failure and
dont abandon it. People who work sincerely are the happiest.
Most people fail because they just do not carry on. Most of my friends in their early 30s
purchased Tread Mills; but ironically almost all of these running machines get used for
drying the childrens clothes on a rainy day outside. Most join Gymnasiums pay hefty
monies then do not go to exercise. So many make resolutions about health, work,
relationships, eating habits & then renege. We just fail to carry on. The tenacity goes missing
after a few days only. People who do well have the words Lage Raho ; as the
screensaver of their minds after taking resolutions. Paint boldly a life which has the colors of
your choice. Express your heart on the canvass of your life. The masterpiece gets created by
lots of regular & religious practice.
6) Before you start some work, always ask yourself three questions Why am
I doing it? What the results might be? And Will I be successful? Only when you
think deeply and find satisfactory answers to these questions, go ahead.
Mis -directed Impetuosity is the result of the world becoming more connected; especially in
the last few years. I see people especially the youth taking very fast decisions at times. This

is either because they are trying to impress a few around or want to prove a point too quick
in life. This might jeopardize many a thing in the prime youth of their life.
In 2005, I left my career in Public Speaking & Motivating to go back to my hometown to
start a discotheque out there. The decision was purely based on emotion of being at my
hometown; as Delhis pace was outpacing me. Did not think deep into the above three
questions. Result: I fell on face and in spite of the disco business doing well, I had to take
another decision (after wasting my 2 precious years) to move to settle out of Chandigarh. I
wonder- when I see so many of my friends getting perfunctory while taking critical decisions
as about relationships / work / pleasure etc. The three questions said by Chanakya are
becoming more & more pertinent with the world modernizing.
Never make friends with people who are above or below you in status. Such
friendships will never give you happiness.
Chanakya said it ages ago & I am awestruck at the growing relevance of this truism these
days. The world has a paradigm order if observed carefully. People are at different levels;
classified on a lot of basis as money, knowledge, caste, religion & even inclinations.
If you observe closely, miscegenation of any kind / any relationship would only fall a
cropper over a period of time. Such togetherness succeeds most in Bollywood movies alone.
Even there, they have learnt a lesson. The most important thing to consider is equality in
mental status. If two people are on the same mental plane, understanding gets better and
happiness comes easier. Else, most of the times, it is ego clashes, misunderstandings,
problems and what not.
8 ) If you get to learn something even from the worst of enemies; do not
hesitate
There is not one being created by God, who does not have something to teach us. Friends,
family, and the people we know- they definitely have something in store for the lessons we
learn from life. But, even lowly creatures, animals, enemies- they teach us something or the
other. We just need to grasp the lesson. How does it matter if you like the person or not? If
he helps you learn something, just grab the chance.
Loosing an opportunity to learn something in life is like loosing a chance to live a better
life.A deceitful friend will teach you the value of trust and patience before believing people.
Even an ass has three lessons for every so called intellectual human being: 1) although an
ass is tired, he continues to carry his burden. 2) He is unmindful of heat and cold and 3) is
always contended and dedicated towards his duty.
9) He who befriends a man whose conduct is vicious, whose vision impure,
and who is notoriously crooked, is rapidly ruined.
If you know a person to be of suspicious behavior, if you know that person to eye things with
wrong intentions and if you know that person to be cunningly wicked, why to be friends
with him in the first place? Such a man will surely backstab one day.
I remember a newspaper coverage which might help explain this: a lower middle class man
with a wife and a daughter. The husband always wanted to make it big. He had this friend
who had all the above attributes- vicious, impure vision and crooked. His wife never liked
the man and had apparently warned her husband to keep safe distance. The man knew
everything himself but did not stop for he wanted to make money with his friend and was

eyeing a partnership. Things got better financially. But one day, his friend got the chance to
finally carry out his original plan, for which he had helped the man in the first place. He
barged into his house when he wasnt there and tried to assault his wife. His daughter and
wife both got hurt in the struggle they had to make to escape the snake in disguise. The man
learnt his lesson the hard way.
More often than not, these kinds of people befriend you for a reason. Make sure you dont
fall into the trap and make yourself go through the same hardships. Staying away from such
vices is the option to be exercised before its too late to save yourself from the ruins.
10) Avoid him who talks sweetly before you but tries to ruin you behind your
back, for he is like a pitcher of poison with milk on top.
There are many people around who sugarcoat their words for you. They are foes in the
veneer of friends; speaking all sweet words that will seem so nice to listen to. Remember the
hit late 80s bollywood flick Maine Pyaar Kiya? Salmans onscreen father used to have this
crippled friend who played the same role: poison in disguise of milk.
One tip to recognize and differentiate between the real and fake: the one who is your real
friend, will talk sweet but point out your mistakes as well. He/ she will not blindly like
everything you say or do and / or support you even in wrong. He/ she will try to reason with
you when you feel apprehensive about the other people in your life, try to push you towards
your family and friends and not away from them.
On the other hand, a fake one who harbors cruel intentions will simply do the opposite. He
will slowly make you drift away from people and then carry out his plans.Poison being very
soluble in all substances, it becomes impossible to separate. So, throw away the pitcher
before you knowingly drink the poison along with the milk.
11) As soon as the fear approaches near; attack and destroy it.
It is very true: courage is the quality that makes possibilities and opportunities visible. Fear
hides a lot of things from us- our abilities, our confidence, our strength to act. It creates a
blindfold and prevents from seeing the actual. Remember always, fear is a dark room where
only negatives can be developed and what will you do with the negatives if you dont have
the real pictures in your hands? Whenever you feel that something makes you afraid, wage a
war on that something.
Never let your fears take control of you because when we fear something, we give it
immense power over us. Anything which you resist will persist.I remember reading a
chapter during the school days: the author had become hydrophobic after a near death
experience at the swimming pool and it was a narration of how he overcame his fear by
learning how to swim. More often than not, fear is nothing but false evidence appearing
real: something that is false can be conquered easily if we attack it with right weapons. And
those weapons are faith and confidence. Feed your faith and your fears will starve to death.
And to learn to how to destroy your fears -marks the beginning of learning- life long
wisdom.
12) A person should not be too honest. Just as straight trees are chopped-down
first,honest people are taken advantage of first.
The saying: honesty is the best policy does hold true but only when you know where to be
honest and to whom to be honest to. Else, the world is a difficult place to survive in. The
world need not know everything about you. Deception comes very easy to certain people
when you conduct yourself and your family affairs or financial matters as an open book. An
honest man will never misuse your honesty. But a dishonest one will never loose an
opportunity to misuse your honesty.

Remember the numerous bollywood stories of honest police officers who had to loose it to
the whims of the notorious villains.It does not, for even once, mean that you should not be
honest. Rather, it means, be honest but know how to protect your roots from getting
chopped off because of your honesty. Standing too straight might become a problem at
times. Bending a little is good, when it comes to certain things. Be like grass on the ground
when it is too stormy. Huge trees do not survive the ferocious winds. Select the storms you
wish to/ have to fight. Not all are worth it.