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Review of Literature

Introduction
Love, marriage and family were the focal points of the lives of everyone in medieval
Europe. From weddings that were very similar to the weddings we have today, to the birth
practices that today would seem absurd, the lives of these brides, grooms, husbands, wives, and
children were very different than the lives of those people today. The history of medieval
weddings, divorce, marriage laws, sex, courting, love, betrothal, adultery and fornication, family,
and children is very interesting and very different than the facts of todays world.
Wedding Customs
Weddings are days everyone looks forward to. From the dress to the cake to the
honeymoon, there is much planning, anticipation, and technicalities. Weddings ceremonies have
been around since the beginning of time, sometimes small encounters , sometimes lavish events
that involve the entire community. These ceremonies signify the beginning of the rest of the
couples lives. Weddings have typically remained constant throughout history.
Weddings in Medieval Europe were not so different than weddings are today. While the
laws relied on only the consent of the couple, parental consent was very desirable in marriage
decisions.1 This law changed in the 18th century in most of Europe, but it didnt change in some
areas of Scotland, which made that the perfect venue for the weddings of rebellious teens who
were in love without their parents approval.2 Parents usually were very in control of the
marriages of their children. The weddings were often arranged when the couple were very
young. While the law was in place stating that they couldnt marry until the legal age (12 for

girls, 14 for boys), they were betrothed to one another as soon as possible to establish economic
and dynastic ties.3
The wedding ceremony was often a very big ordeal, especially in noble families. There
were a few events that must take place before the wedding ceremony could take place. One of
the events was the posting of the banns on the church doors. There would be a notice of the
proposed marriage that was posted for three weeks preceding the wedding.4 At this time, anyone
who knew of any reason the couple couldnt get married were encouraged to come forward. This
was introduced in 1215 in order to ensure that the wedding could take place legally, without any
unseen impediments to the marriage.5 Impediments to marriage were as followed: consanguinity
(related to closely by blood), one partner being a non-christian. previous religious vows
(examples would include nuns or priests), rape charges, known adultery, known incestuous acts,
wedding date being during religious times (example would be the time of lent), or if the wedding
was to be officiated by a murderer.6 After the notice has been on the church doors for at least
three Sundays, the wedding ceremony itself could take place.
The ceremony was a bit different than it is today. The wedding would take place in front
of the church doors. The groom would stand on the right and the woman would stand on the left;
this was because the bible states that God created woman from the left rib of man.7 The officiator
would begin the ceremony by reading the banns and asking if anyone had any objections to the
marriage. If no one had any objections, the dowry was then read aloud. The brides family gave
the groom a payment for the bride. Following the ritual of the dowry, the groom gave the bride a
small bag of coins which she then distributed to the needy. This symbolized her willingness to
aid the groom in financial management. Following that ritual, the sermon began, which was

usually fairly short. The vows came next. In this time period, the vows, In sickness and in
health, for richer for poorer were originated, which are stereotypical wedding vows said even
today. The weds were then exchanged; a ring with the couples names on it for the bride and a
ring and a stocking from the bride for the groom.These were both very intimate gifts of the time.
After the I dos were said, the church doors opened for a feast that was for all the village to
indulge in. The feasts of this time period were huge events. Before the feast officially started, the
priest said a small prayer over the food and the congregation. Following the prayer, a peace kiss
was passed from the priest to the groom to the bride. If there were any children who were born to
the couple previous to the marriage, they were included in this kiss. There were a few
superstitious actions that took place during the feast to ensure a happy life for the couple. A child
was placed in the arms of the bride to wish her fertility and a small gold piece was placed in her
shoe to ensure the couple had financial prosperity.8
The attire that the bride wore was very symbolic. The dress that she wore was often blue
because that color was the symbol of purity and faithfulness. Noble brides bought a new dress
for the ceremony. Peasant women, however, just wore the best they had.9 Symbolic stones were
worn as well: red jasper for love, beryl for purification, and amethyst for piety and martyrdom.10
Veils were worn on a daily basis, but they were also worn specifically for wedding ceremonies;
the same for garters. The rings were worn on the same finger as they are today. The last thing a
bride would wear was a brooch that the groom gave her which was a witness to her modesty,
fidelity, and faithfulness.
Many gifts were exchanged in response to the marriage. The couple themselves
exchanged on average three gifts among one another. These were often very intimate exchanges.

The brides dowry was also considered a gift. Normally, the larger the dowry provided, the more
attractive the woman appeared to the community. The groom was required to give the woman a
small gift after consummating the marriage in order to make up for the loss of her virginity. The
guests of the wedding were also inclined to provide gifts to help the couple celebrate. The groom
and his family were responsible for providing a home for the couple. This was often a gift from
the father of the groom to get the couple started off in the right direction.11
There are some differences than the weddings of today and the weddings of the medieval
times. For the most part brides dont have dowries, there is no peace kiss from priest to groom to
bride (only the You may kiss your bride), and there are fewer superstitions incorporated into
the ceremony. While brides wore blue then, white or ivory is now the color to be seen in. While
rings are still placed on the same finger, the groom doesnt have to give his bride a gift as
compensation for her loss of virginity. So while there are some similarities, there are some
differences. Weddings have always been a celebrated event that initiated a marriage intended to
last until death do them part.
Divorce
The end of a marriage is oftentimes a solemn event. This means a unity brought forth has
fallen to shambles. The legalities of this break have not always been as easy as it is today. It
hasnt even always existed! For a very long time in history, divorce was even illegal.
Divorce was something that existed very infrequently in medieval Europe. In the bible,
which many people of the time put faith in, divorce was adultery according to the New
Testament, but obtainable for men in the Old Testament. This was confusing for people of the
time because many laws were based on the Bible. What were they to do with the conflicting

justifications? One answer was stated in a book called Marriage and Family in the Middle Ages:
Do not seek a divorce, because your are not allowed to marry another while your wife is living.
It is the crime of adultery.12
In response to this, most societies decided that divorce didnt need to exist at all. The
only way to end a marriage would be to prove that it never existed in the first place.13 The way to
do that would be to prove that the couple was not of legal age, they had committed previous
religious vows, or if they were not christian. In this time period, with no accurate birth records, it
would be very easy to just happen to find an ancient relative that was unknown previous to the
wedding.14 Other sources say that divorce was something very hard to obtain, but it could be
done. The grounds for divorce, or marriage annulment, were consanguinity, adultery, leprosy,
impotency, or if the husband couldnt render the wifes marriage debt.15 This was only applicable
to men, according to some sources. Women werent allowed to put away her husband, even for
fornication.16 Contrary to popular belief, the failure to supply a male heir to the husband was not
grounds for divorce because this simply meant that God wanted that couple to have a daughter.17
In a legal divorce, there were strict rules as to who got what. If the couple was married
seven or more years, the wife got a lot more than she would have if they had only been married a
short time. The laws were very specific about the settlements: men got the pigs, oldest son,
youngest son, drinking vessels, and bedclothes that were under the sheets. Women on the other
hand got the over bed clothes, middle son, milking vessels, flax, linseed, wool, opened vessels
of butter and cheese, and as much flour as she could carry.18
Jacqueline Murray, a history professor with a passion for Medieval Studies, writes some
rules for divorce as they would have been told in medieval times:

1. If any woman who leaves her husband to whom she is legally married, let her be
smothered in mire. 2. If anyone wish to put away his wife without cause, let him give her another
payment such as he gave for her marriage price, and let the amount of the fine be twelve solidi.
3. If by chance a man wishes to put away his wife, and is able to prove one of these three crimes
against her, that is, adultery, witchcraft, or violation of graves, let him have full right to put her
away; and let the judge pronounce the sentence of the law against her, just as should be done
against criminals. 4. But if she admits none of these three crimes, let no man be permitted to put
away his wife for any other crime. But if he chooses, he may go away from the home, leaving all
household property behind, and his wife with their children may possess the property of her
husband,.19
Even though women werent allowed to seek divorce from their husbands, sometimes
they simply left. If a woman left her husband and stayed away for at least five years, the husband
was then allowed to take another wife if he so chooses.20 Women werent necessarily
impoverished by divorce. Nowhere in medieval history does it say that man was the main
supporter of the family. The woman, even though she couldn't initiate the divorce, was entitled to
as much of the estate as she contributed.21
The church didnt contribute to the divorce law during this time. According to one source
three things justified a judicial separation: adultery, spiritual fornication, and extreme cruelty.
These things only justified a judicial separation, though, not a divorce. The couple could never
remarry. Only a annulment allowed that.22 Sometimes, a woman would admit that she previously
said words of consent with someone before she said married her current husband so that she
could then annul her current marriage and go live with her new love.23

While there are many conflicting views on what the laws for divorce actually were, some
things remain constant. Divorce was something that wasn't easily attainable. Some say that men
could file for divorce, others say that the only way to end a marriage was to prove that it never
legally existed in the first place. One thing is certain though, the end of a marriage is, and always
has been, a very solemn event that sometimes splits a family apart.
Laws/ Legalities
Laws involving marriage are always changing. In Medieval Europe, there were laws
about the age you had to be to get married, what made a legal marriage, and what payments had
to be paid in order to marry in the first place. Today, there arent laws about what you must do in
a marriage to consider it legally binding, but there are laws about who has the right to marry.
Unlike what marriage is like today, there were many conflicting views on what created a legally
binding marriage in medieval Europe.
During some years of the medieval era, it was argued what was and was not considered a
legally binding marriage. A scholar from Bologna set out some criteria for a legal marriage, and
for a long time, they weren't questioned. The parties who wanted to marry had to be able to
make an informed decision to marry and they had to be legally able to contract a marriage.
Making an informed decision meant that the parties have reached the age of consent- usually
twelve for girls and fourteen for boys- and had freely consented to the union.24 Some years later,
a council stated that three things were necessary to have a binding marriage, The bride had to
have a dowry, which effectively undercut the independence of a young woman from her parents;
banns had to be published beforehand; and the wedding had to take place in a church,.25 After
that, it was said by most lawmakers of the time that a freely given consent to marry trumped all

the other formalities, and that if a couple said, using the present tense, I take thee as my
husband and I take thee as my husband, they were married, with or without witnesses, banns,
blessings, or anything else. whether they said the words in a chapel, a kitchen, a field, or a barn,
and whether or not they had ever had sex or taken up residence together.26 Pope Alexander III
tried to issue a ruling that Marriage was valid only if it had been solemnized in a church but
then decided against it.27 Stephanie Coontz, a historian and professor said in her novel
Marriage: A History, Until the twelfth century the church held that a marriage was valid if
entered into by mutual consent and then sealed by sexual intercourse. This made non
consummation grounds for annulment. Then in the mid-twelfth century, Peter Lombard, Bishop
of Paris, argued that if sex was necessary for a valid marriage, Mary and Joseph could not have
been legally married. Because of this, he said that words of consent in the present tense made
marriage legal and binding.28
It was normal to have a prenup- like arrangement in order before the wedding took place.
The contract would state what one side had to give back to the other if the bride or groom died
before the wedding could take place. This also protected the widow and any children if one of
the couple died. This prenup was a contract for the entire betrothal. Women were given the
opportunity to buy themselves out of their betrothal contracts, but doing so would financially
ruin them for the rest of their lives so hardly any women did this.29
While it was fairly easy to get married, proving the marriage happened was often the
difficult part. Sometimes, men acted as if they had never agreed to marry, which makes the
marriage automatically annulled. Sometimes, when a man tried to run out on his wife, she sued

the man for leaving. Oftentimes in these ordeals, the courts would side with the man and fine her
for fornicating.30
Noble women sometimes had the option not to marry until age 24, but this was very rare.
The king of the land would have what were called wards whom he could sell for compensation
for the loss of their inheritance. Wards of the king included rich orphans, female heiresses, and
wealthy widows. He would marry them off to men of the court who wanted to move up on the
social ladder.31
Husbands controlled everything that used to be the woman's. Any property a woman
brought to marriage came under her husbands control. He could dispose of any movable
property or leases she inherited without consulting her, although he was not supposed to sell any
freehold land she inherited without her consent,.32
Adultery was strictly against the law, and marriages were strictly monogamous. If a man
was caught cheating, the woman he was married was entitle to 6 score pence the first time, 1
pound the second time, and divorce the third time. She could also strike the other woman
without penalty.33
While there were many laws deciding who could and could not get married and what
made said marriage legal, there were people who broke the laws, or found ways around them.
The men who got courts to believe that the marriage never took place when he was trying to run
out on his wife are an example of this. Adultery and property disputes were very legally oriented
when dealing with divorces. Even divorces were sources of controversy during this time. Laws
and legalities made marriage something of hassle. Regardless of this, marriage was still a very
huge part of the lives of young men and women in medieval Europe.

Sex
Sex today is something that isnt sacred for most people. It is something that isn't hidden
or secret or even cherished. It is something that it publicized and televised on a daily basis. In
medieval Europe, however, sex was something that was a secret, something that even in
marriage wasnt something that would be a comfortable discussion. Today, sex is something that
people control for themselves. In the past though, it was something that was laid out for
everyone.
In medieval Europe, sex was something very sacred and something people werent
supposed to talk about. Some sources say marriage was the only acceptable place for sex.34 Other
sources say that while betrothed, sometimes the couple would have sex before the wedding,
especially if the engagement was very drawn out.35 In most societies of the time, marriage was
used to control sex. It was said that sex outside marriage was considered one of the major sins.
Married sex was also the only acceptable form of procreation.36 James Brundage, a history
professor at the University of Kansas, recorded in his book Law, Sex, and Christian Society in
Medieval Europe that a scholar of the time, Thomas Aquinas, warned that a man who had sex
with his wife for pleasure was treating her like a prostitute.37
Not only was sex limited to married couples, there were handbooks released during these
times that gave rules about when and how married couples could participate in sexual
intercourse. Rules for when someone could have sex were as followed: The following days are
prohibited: all feast and fast days, Sundays, when a woman was unclean (period, pregnant,

breastfeeding, and forty days after childbirth).38 The rules for how one should have sex, issued
by the church, were as follows: Physical and mental preparation (emptying of bowels and
bladder) and sufficient foreplay were both required before sexual intercourse could take place.39
Sex was a holy sacrament. It opened a door to the supernatural.40 It was a very big part
of the world then, just as it is in the world today. Some sources say that male sexuality was not
limited to marriage, as the church said it should be. There is a lot of evidence that men made
extensive use of prostitutes and mistresses.41 This was a massive double standard, however,
because womens sexuality was suppressed completely. It was said that in order to enhance male
pleasure, women should suppress her sexual desire.42 It was said that women who found pleasure
in sex would be defiled.43 Medieval theologians were stumped about the idea of sexuality. On
one hand, sex was described as something beautiful and full of love in the Bible in Song of
Songs, and God commanded that humans should go forth and multiply. On the other hand,
ecclesiastical writers thought about sex with a very negative suspicion. They thought that
because it was the only way of procreation, sex was only acceptable in marriage and that it was a
necessary evil that had to be tolerated.44 Women who were found being sexually active before
marriage were required to pay a fine for lying down, and another fine for each child born out of
wedlock.
Again, the view that marriage was the only accepted place for sex was challenged. Some
said outside of marriage it was a sin, but some writers say that in betrothed couples, sex was
alright. The relationship between husband and wife was said to be sanctified by God, and
therefore it should be a very comfortable relationship. It was a hard relationship to have, though,
because the two were usually strangers to one another until their wedding day, so the struggle

was to be intimate with one another in a sinless way while struggling to create and maintain a
family life.45
While sex was thought so poorly of, it was also very important to the society, so much so
that a mans impotence was grounds enough to have the marriage annulled. It was something
very embarrassing to have to prove, though. It was necessary to ensure that the couple was not
just trying to get out of the marriage. The man and woman are to be placed together in one bed
and wise women are to be summoned around the bed for many nights. And if the mans member
is always found useless and as if dead, the couple are well able to be separated, .46
Sex during marriage was still just as secretive as it was outside of marriage. It was
considered a dirty act, but a necessary one for procreation. Emile Amt, a history professor at
Hood University, wrote that a husband who sleeps with his wife shall wash himself before he
goes into any church.47 The husband was also not supposed to see his wife naked. This sexual
passion, or any sexual passion rather, was thought poorly of by the christian theologians at the
time. It was said that this passion weakened a believers devotion to God,.48.
Sex was something not talked about then. It was something that was considered a
necessary evil, and was to be tolerated only in marriage. There were always those who rebelled,
though, and had sex outside of marriage. There were written rules about when and how the
people could have sex. While these rules and regulations may seem ridiculous now, they were
normal to the everyday people of medieval Europe.
Love
The word love gets its name from a word that literally means to capture or to be captured.
Thats because when a person is in love, he/she is captured in the chains of desire and wishes to

capture someone else with their hook,.49 Love is very commercialized today. In the past though,
it was something of menial value, something that was silly and intangible. It would be irrational
to think that people would one day marry for love.
In medieval Europe, love wasnt a determinate of who you grew up to marry. Love and
friendship often came after the wedding.50 Oftentimes, love was even frowned upon. It was said
by St. Jerome in the fourth century that a man that was too passionately in love with his wife
was an adulterer.51 So many people believed this that it was considered true until the 16th
century.
Love not only wasnt a big deal in medieval Europe, everything during that time period
seemed to conspire to prevent love. Women showed love to their husbands by respecting
them.52 Men showed kindness to their wives in place of love, but they were also expected to
discipline them.53
Jacqueline Murray writes that when a man saw a woman he thought was beautiful, he
would start to chase after her in his heart. He began to think about her and began to feel what we
would today call a crush. Even though he may have had feelings for her, he couldnt date her or
marry her one day. The only way he could even possibly marry her is if they were peasants.54
This was because marriages for most of history were based on economic or dynastic
advancements. It was unthinkable that people would base such a huge decision as marriage on
something as intangible and irrational as love.55 Instead, people would focus on the mature and
responsible thing to do and marry the person they were supposed to. There was a common saying
at the time that, He who marries for love has good nights and bad days.56 Because love was so

irrational, it was frequently made fun of. In fact, many popular songs and stories of the time
made fun of love.57
Saying love didnt exist in medieval times would be untrue. People were just as capable
of love as they are today. It was just something that people didnt promote. It was something that
was desirable after one married, but it wasnt something people were chasing. Love was
showed to a husband by respect from his wife, and love was shown to her by kindness and
discipline. People who chased love were considered stupid for being so irresponsible. Love,
something special today, was something that wasn't even desirable in medieval Europe.
Betrothal
In medieval Europe, marriage wasnt something that signified the union of two people
madly in love. Marriage was something used to control sex, reproduction, and political ties.
People in this time period were focused primarily on monetary, political, and dynastic
advancements. In order to produce the most optimal results, families arranged the marriages of
their daughters, sons, sisters, and brothers.
Betrothal was an agreement to marry. These marriage agreements, arranged by the
relatives of the bride, were based on political and monetary gain, and they were just as legally
binding as a marriage itself.58 These were put in place normally when the couple was under the
age of ten.59 In order to finalize the betrothal, the brides family would give a monetary dowry to
the groom, a compensation for taking the young girl as a wife.60 It was common that the woman
had absolutely no say in whom she married, but sometimes the man got to choose his bride.61
Even when the boy got to choose his betrothed, they still often didnt meet until their wedding
day, especially if they were children. If they were adults, cohabiting before the wedding wasnt

uncommon. If there were any children born to the couple during this time, they were always
legalized at the wedding.62
These agreements were often made without the least bit of consideration to the feelings of
the couple. On the wedding night, the bride, who had barely reached puberty, usually around the
age of twelve, was forced into a room with a boy around the age of fourteen. They had never
even been around the opposite sex because in this society, girls and boys were segregated usually
around the age of seven. So, they were forced into a room with one another, forced into a
marriage with someone they didnt know, and were expected to mate and reproduce. This sudden
change from everything they had ever known was understandably distressing.63
Very rarely, the betrothed young lady would object so greatly to the marriage that she
joined a monastery in order to avoid the marriage. In this case, any money that was paid for the
wedding or for the betrothal was automatically refunded, oftentimes with another monetary
compensation.64 In some other cases, one of the betrothed passed away before the wedding. In
Betrothals were often for the noble families, but peasant families had them as well.
While it may seem cruel or ridiculous that a parent would do this to their child, they were
actually investing in the betrotheds future.65 Parents didnt marry off their children to upset them
or to prove they could. They arranged the marriages to ensure the child had the best possible
chance of economic, political, and dynastic success.
Adultery/ Fornication
Adultery and fornication in medieval Europe were terrible sins.67 In medieval Europe,
most, if not all, people were Christians. If someone wasnt a Christian, he/she wouldnt be able
to get married in the first place. According to the ten commandments, not to mention multiple

times in the written word itself, adultery was considered a sin. There are many different views on
what the repercussions were for a cheating spouse.
In the medieval society, almost everyone was a Christian, and it was understood that
polygamy was impermissible to Christian men.68 It was said that above everything else a couple
owed one another, fidelity was most important. An apostle once said that a woman didnt have
control over her body, but her husband, and the same could be said about his body.69
Even though adultery was such a big sin, there were always people who did it anyway.
Its understood that single men who couldnt marry would have life long mistresses, who were
considered more than prostitutes, but less than wives. Single men weren't the only ones to have
mistresses, though. Sometimes, married men would have mistresses with whom they fell in love.
These men sometimes would try to divorce their wives in order to marry the mistress.70
While adultery is bad, there is always something worse. Above all things, incestuous
adultery was the worst.71 If caught doing this, the man had to give a monetary payment to the
nearest relative of the mistress. After that, the mistress would be placed in the servitude of the
king.72
If a man was found cheating on his wife, she was entitled to monetary compensation the
first two times, then divorce the third time. If he was made a slave because of fornication, his
wife could marry again if she hasnt been married before him.73 If a man caught his wife
cheating, he could put her away, or divorce her.
The sin of adultery was very serious. Marriage was considered one of the seven
sacraments of God, so committing an act that broke this marriage bond was not only illegal, but

it broke the sacrament.74 Sometimes adultery was grounds for divorce, other times it merely
warranted a monetary fine.
Family
No element in social history is more pervasive than the family, the universal
environment where human beings learn to eat, walk, and speak, and acquire their sense of
identity and modes of behavior. Every culture that we know of, past or present, has included the
institution of the family, a necessity for survival and common denominator of the society.75
The word for a residential and biological unit, family, is pretty new in the worlds
vocabulary. Before the eighteenth century, there was no term for the parent/child grouping in
Europe. Usually the families of the past had lines so blurred, and so many people that one
considered family that the word for the conjugal unit was not needed.76 Usually in the
mother-father-child groupings, the father had absolute authority over the household. The
authoritarian role was more distinguished in royal families because it was easier for women to
not work or contribute to the family income. The husband could provide for the family with no
problem. In peasant families, the wifes income was necessary for everyday living.77 Everyone
in the family unit had to listen to the father. If the father wished to marry his daughter off to a
certain man and she didnt want to, she was obligated to listen to her fathers wishes because the
head of the woman was the man.78
Marriage was the focal point of married life. In nobles, marriage was used to establish
estate ties and economic well being. Marriage was often used to join two families together.79
Fathers usually arranged the marriage of their daughters as soon as they could, because marrying
off your children was economically smart because her economic dependence was shifted from

the father to the husband. Once the woman was married off, however, her duties to bring in
income were changed to having babies.80
The wife of the household was also responsible for caring for the husband. She had many
duties as a wife that Emilie Amt, a history professor at Hood University, laid out in a sourcebook
about womens lives in Medieval Europe. She said that a woman was responsible for keeping
him in clean clothes, keeping his hopes and mood up, washing his feet, keeping fresh shoes for
him, keeping a fire going, giving him good food and drink, serving him, cheering him on, giving
him love and intimacies, keeping him in clean clothes, keeping him from any discomforts,
keeping his bed free of fleas, and preventing him from any pain he should receive. In return he
would be responsible for keeping the income steady and providing for the household.81
Marriage and family were the single most important aspects of the lives of both women
and men in medieval Europe. While men were working and providing for the family, normally
through hard labor, the wife would work in shops or markets and pulling in additional income, or
she would be at home taking care of the children and cleaning the house. The wife had many
duties to her husband, most of them simply just keeping him full, loved, and clean. Most of the
time in a family, the husband and wife had been in love with each other for a long time. While
love isnt a reason to get married, that doesnt mean that people can't fall in love once they are
married. This will bring the family closer together and will compensate for the fact that the
marriage took place early. Children were born and shorty after a few short years, they were
betrothed to be married off to the best possible suitor. While this is a radical idea to us, the
concept of it to them was a tale as old as time, and there was nothing wrong with it in their eyes.
Child Birth

Childbirth was one of the most important aspects of a young girls life, but it was also
one of the most dangerous.82 In medieval Europe, the people werent very skilled or
knowledgeable about birth. While it was a painful process, it was one necessary to the time
period.
There were many complications that came with childbirth. The complications were
dependent on age, health, and potential illnesses. Labor was often very difficult for these women.
Rosalie Gilbert, a historical spokesperson, lays out a few details about the birthing process on her
many websites. She writes that there were many options available to the birthing mother, but
they were all very ineffective. There were herbal potions, folk remedies, prayers to St. Margaret,
the use of gemstones, and midwives. To ease the pain of childbirth, the flanks of a woman were
rubbed with rose or violet oil. The mother was giving vinegar and sugar to drink because it was
thought to be a relaxer.83 Emilie Amt then writes that the birthing mother was bathed in water
with mallow, linseed, and barley. The mother would then be walked around the house to induce
labor. She was given oxizaccara, mint, and wormwood to drink while her feet were rubbed with
rose oil, vinegar, wheat, poultry, and pomegranate.84
Usually there were only midwives in the birthing chamber, and men were normally not
allowed in the room. Men who were in the room to assist with the birth, however, were not
allowed to look at the woman in the face, because it might bring her shame. The midwives were
very skilled at what they did. They knew what to do in case of an emergency that happened fairly
often. This emergency would be when the baby was being born the wrong way, called a breech
birth. In these instances, the midwife would coat their hand in flaxseed and oil and reach into the
woman and put the baby back in place.

After the baby is born, the umbilical cord was burned, so that the fire counteracted the
sinful act of conception. The woman was also forbidden to attend church until after there was a
ceremony welcoming her back. Until this ceremony took place, the woman wasnt allowed to
touch holy water, bake bread or prepare foods. While this was easy for noble women, there was
likely no way that the peasant women would be able to refrain from these daily chores.85
Child birth was something unexplored at the time of medieval Europe. People had been
having babies for generations. Even by the medieval era though, they didnt know much about it
or how to properly deliver a child. There were herbs and mixtures that were rubbed on the
delivering mother, and gemstones were sometimes laid over her body, as if that would help. The
people of the time were very religious so prayers were always used. Men were allowed to help
deliver a child very rarely, because if he saw the womans face, she would be ashamed. While
these remedies seemed to work at the time, there were still always complications of birth. Many
women died giving birth during this period because many people were undereducated in the
field.
Conclusion
Marriage in medieval Europe was very different than it is today. While there are some
major differences in the way people regarded sex, the courting methods, and childbirth, there are
a lot of similarities in the way the wedding ceremony was run. The family household was led by
the man and the woman was to respect and cater to the husbands every need. Child birth was a
scary occasion that was a very important event in a womans life. There were conflict views on
the way it was carried out, but there was a common consensus that adultery was against the law
and was a major sin. Love wasn't something that was pursued. Instead, children were betrothed

to the ones whom their parents wanted them to marry. After the betrothal, love was something
that was hopeful to attain, but it wasnt a necessity. There were rules and regulations on how and
when people were allowed to have sex, which is very unlike today where sex is promoted and
broadcasted throughout everyday life and media. While some things were the same, the medieval
world was a lot different than the world of love, marriage, and family today.

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Accessed

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Notes
Mason, Emma. "Love and Marriage in Medieval England." History Extra. February 11,
2016. Accessed August 14, 2016. http://www.historyextra.com/article/feature/love-andmarriage-medieval-england-customs-vow-ceremony
Mason historyextra.com
"Marriage in the Medieval Era." Medieval Fayre. 2009. Accessed September 14, 2016.
http://www.medievalfayre.com/index.php?
options=com_content&view=article&id-74<emid=81
Amt, Emilie. "Marriage: The Medieval Era." Medieval Times. 1993. Accessed September
14, 2016. http://www.medievaltimes.com/teachers-students/materials/medieval-era/
marriage.html.
Mason historyextra.com
Amt medievaltimes.com
medievalfayre.com
Gilbert, Rosalie. "Rosalie's Medieval Woman - Weddings." Rosalie's Medieval Woman.
Accessed

September 14, 2016. http://rosaliegilbert.com/weddings.html.

Gilbert rosaliegilbert.com/weddings
medievalfayre.com
Gilbert rosaliegilbert.com/weddings
Quotes in Gies, Frances, and Joseph Gies. Marriage and the Family in the Middle Ages.
New York: Harper & Row, 1987.
Mason historyextra.com

Murray, Jacqueline. Love, Marriage, and Family in the Middle Ages: A Reader.
Peterborough, Ont.: Broadview, 2001. Print.
Gilbert, Rosalie. "Rosalie's Medieval Woman - Divorces." Rosalie's Medieval Woman.
Accessed

September 14, 2016. http://rosaliegilbert.com/divorces.html.

Amt, Emilie. Women's Lives in Medieval Europe: A Sourcebook. New York: Routledge,
1993.
Gilbert rosaliegilbert.com/divorce
Gilbert rosaliegilbert.com/divorce
Quoted Murray 27
Amt 70
Coontz, Stephanie. Marriage, a History: From Obedience to Intimacy or How Love
Conquered Marriage. New York: Viking, 2005
Coontz 108
Coontz 109
Quoted in Pedersen, Frederik. Marriage Disputes in Medieval England. London:
Hambledon, 2000.
Quoted in Coontz 106-107
Quoted in Coontz 107
Coontz 106
Coontz 106
Gilbert rosaliegilbert.com/weddings

Farmer, Merry. "Marriage and Sex in the Middle Ages." Merry Farmer. November 28,
2011. Accessed September 14, 2016.
http://merryfarmer.net/2011/11/marriage-and-sex-in-the-middle-age/.
Gilbert rosaliegilbert.com/weddings
Coontz 113
Woodbury, Sarah. "Marriage in the Medieval Era." Sarah Woodbury. March 11, 2014.
Accessed September 14, 2016.
http://www.sarahwoodbury.com/marriage-customs-in-wale
Mason historyextra.com
Farmer merryfarmer.net
Boccacio, Giovanni, and G. McWilliam H. "Sex and Spouses: Marriage, Pleasure, &
Consummation." Brown.edu. Accessed September 14, 2016. http://www.brown.edu/
Departments/Italian_studies/dweb/society/sex/sex-spouse.php.
Quoted in Brundage, James A. Law, Sex, and Christian Society in Medieval Europe.
Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1987.
Richards, Jeffrey. Sex, Dissidence, and Damnation: Minority Groups in the Middle Ages.
London: Routledge, 1990.
Brundage 451-452
Duby, Georges. Love and Marriage in the Middle Ages. Chicago: University of Chicago
Press, 1994
Duby 9
Duby 58

Duby 11
Duby 61
Murray 275
Coontz 108
Amt 70
Coontz 17-18
Murray 82
medievalfayre.com
Richards 23-24
Woodbury sarahwoodbury.com
Murray 53
Murray 80-81
Coontz 15
Coontz 19
Coontz 17
Gilbert rosaliegilbert.com
D'Outremer, Melisende. "Medieval Marriage & Childbirth." Women of History:. August
29,

2007. Accessed September 14, 2016.

http://womenofhistory.blogspot.com/2007/08/
medieval-marriage-childbirth.html.
Amt medievaltimes.com
Amt medievaltimes.com

Gilbert rosaliegilbert.com/weddings
Duby 59-60
Woodbury sarahwoodbury.com
Coontz 117
Coontz 117
Murray 167
Gies and Gies40
Murray 17
Farmer merryfarmer.net
Murray 18
Murray 27
Amt 69
Murray 167
Gies and Gies 3
Gies and Gies 4
Gies and Gies 11
Gies and Gies 54
Farmer merryfarmer.net
Duby 7-8
Amt 89-90
DOutremer womenofhistory.com
Gilbert rosaliegilbert.com/births

Amt medievaltimes.com
Amt medievaltimes.com

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