Practical Mindfulness

JEAN GILHEAD
PRACTICAL MINDFULNESS
HOW TO GET FROM STRESSED
OUT TO BLISSED OUT
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2
Practical Mindfulness: How to Get From Stressed Out to Blissed Out

1st edition
2016 Jean Gilhead & bookboon.com
ISBN 978-87-403-1485-4

3
Contents
CONTENTS

Introduction to Mindfulness
1 What Is Mindfulness and How Can It Help Me?
10
1.1
The Mind Is Like Software Beware of Viruses!
10
1.2
Choosing to Versus Having To
16
1.3
Benefits of Being Mindful
20
2 What Does Mind-less-ness Look Like?
22
2.1
Living Mindlessly
22
2.2
Wasting Precious Time
23
2.3
What Can We Expect?
25
Why Should I Care?
28
3.1
Stress, the Great Destroyer
28
3.2
What Is Stress?
30
3.3
Regret the Saddest Emotion
33
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Contents
4 How Can I Become More Mindful?
34
4.1
Start from Right Here, Right Now
35
4.2
Mindfulness in Four Words: Pay Attention and Relax
35
4.3
Exercises to Help You Make the Shift
38
5 How Does Mindfulness Affect Those Around Me?
52
5.1
We Are All One
52
5.2
The Cooked Rice Experiment
53
5.3
Everyone Just Wants to Be Happy
56
Summary and a Personal Note from the Author
58
Biography
67
References
69

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INTRODUCTION TO MINDFULNESS
People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out but,
when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.
~ Elisabeth Kbler-Ross
A Definition of Mindfulness
Mindfulness is about noticing what we are doing as we are doing it, what we are thinking
as we are thinking it, and how we are feeling as we are feeling it.
With practice and intention we can deepen our capacity of awareness and compassion
for others.
Do You Remember When You Were a Child and Everything Seemed Possible?
Days seemed longer, holidays stretched on forever, you slept well at night and awoke refreshed.
Each day was an adventure that started with anticipation and you went to bed content.
When did all that change? Around the time you knew you needed to get a job, support
yourself and perhaps a family too?
Or maybe it started before, when you were still at school and studying for exams, burning
the midnight oil and drinking too much coffee, or popping pills to keep you awake.
Whenever it was for you, at some point in life most peoples bodies and minds tend towards
a downward spiral. This can lead us to believe that stress is natural, just a normal part of life.
Changing Our Relationship to Stress and Work
What if you could know that sense of possibility again? What if each day felt more like
an adventure than a chore? What if your job and workplace inspired you rather than
depressed you?
Maybe you are reading these words with a sense of incredulity that anyone could make
such outrageous statements; after all, who enjoys work? When has working for someone
else ever been something that has felt beneficial in the long run?

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When we feel we have no choices, we have no quality of life.

Some say there is only one winner when we work for someone else, and that is the boss.
The boss calls all the shots, which can leave us feeling powerless. But many bosses also have
bosses who make them feel insecure and unimportant too.
This sense of powerless gets passed down through the hierarchy and ends up with nobody
feeling valued or appreciated. Perhaps, to enable us to rise above all this carnage, we need
to reassess who we are and our place in the world.
Welcome to the 21st Century
The world of commerce and business is going through so many changes these days that
people are feeling more stressed at work than ever before. This is showing up as distractedness,
lack of attention and zoning out.
On the other hand, doctors are pointing the finger at stress in relation to the physical effects
it can have on our bodies.
The evidence is becoming impossible to ignore with regard to stress and chronic health issues
such as back pain, high blood pressure, heart disease, asthma, obesity, diabetes, depression,
anxiety, gastrointestinal problems, and even the growth of cancers.
We live in interesting times. This moment, this window in our evolution, is being called the
Information Age. Technologically speaking, it seems to mean we are living with constant
information overload. It can feel like we are bolted to our desktops, laptops and smart
phones, 24/7.
For sure, our brains are miracles of hard-wiring, but our bodies are not machines; they are
made of flesh and blood. The only thing that can withstand the technological onslaught
being unleashed upon us is a healthy mind, the human software you might say.
A healthy mind is the basis for a happy and stress-free life.

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Mindfulness Is Not New

Around 2,500 years ago, the father of mindfulness, Gautama Buddha also known simply
as Buddha said, The mind is the only part of us that never dies, is more powerful than
we realize and that everything comes from mind alone.
We often feel weak-minded, however, as our mind runs away with itself, jumping around
crazily from thought to thought, idea to idea, without any control whatsoever.
Buddha called this the Monkey Mind and likened it to a monkey leaping from branch to
branch and tree to tree, with nothing to stop it or slow it down: mindlessness, we could
call it.
Mindfulness is about learning to co-exist gently and peacefully with what is present in our
lives at all times. When we can learn to allow, without judgment, what is there, rather than
fighting, denying or controlling it, we automatically reduce our stress. We no longer struggle
against the thoughts, feelings or drama of what is happening around us.
A Practice and a State of Mind
Research has long indicated that regular meditation can build resiliency to stress. This then
increases positive social emotions such as compassion and empathy.
Mindfulness meditation changes the brains response to emotion by reducing activity in the
areas that register negative emotions and by increasing it in the areas that register positive ones.
Mindfulness meditation also reduces the fight or flight response, thus enabling us to relax.
This in turn allows us quicker access to our pre-frontal cortex, which is what enables us to
make conscious choices.
Mindfulness, therefore, could be said to be both a practice and a state of mind.
For example, when we regularly practice meditation by being mindful of the breath, we
sharpen our focus and train our mind to be quieter and more peaceful. This allows us to
be more conscious of the moment. We become more finely attuned and aware of whatever
is going on around us.
When we are more aware of what is going on around us, we are able to develop more
inventive ways of thinking and problem solving. This opens us up to be more receptive to
new ideas and helps us communicate better in general; a win-win situation.

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Happiness in the Workplace

Within the workplace, can we really learn to develop a calmer and more restful mind?
Yes, it is possible; in fact, we already intuitively know the importance of being mindful. For
example, when we want to watch, say, a video presentation, we prepare ourselves a room
with no distractions, sit down and tune in with our eyes and ears.
If we want a meaningful conversation with someone, we prepare a place where we will be
uninterrupted, get comfortable and speak from the heart.
Likewise, if we want to cultivate a peaceful and stress-free mind, first we must prepare for
ourselves a reassuring and quiet space, then relax our bodies and slow down our thoughts.
Only then can we start to tame the Monkey Mind

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What Is Mindfulness and How Can It Help Me?
1 WHAT IS MINDFULNESS AND

HOW CAN IT HELP ME?
The unexamined life is not worth living.
~ Socrates
1.1 THE MIND IS LIKE SOFTWARE BEWARE OF VIRUSES!

Mindfulness is the practice of purposely focusing our attention on the present moment and
accepting it with no judgment. Nowadays it is being examined scientifically and has been
found to be a key element in the pursuit of happiness.
While mindfulness might sound a little New Age-y to some, the concept has been around
for over two thousand years and there is real evidence that being more mindful can enhance
just about every aspect of our lives.
It takes practice and patience to become comfortable with mindfulness techniques. If one
method does not work, you can simply relax and try another. The key is keeping the mind
in the moment; that means being fully present to what is happening around you.
Mindfulness and Science
In 1979, Professor Jon Kabat-Zinn helped to bring the practice of mindfulness meditation
into mainstream medicine.

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Professor Jon Kabat-Zinn is a scientist, writer, professoremeritus ofmedicine,founder and

former director of the Stress Reduction Clinic and Center for Mindfulness in Medicine,
Health Care and Society at the University Massachusetts Medical School.
He demonstrated that practicing mindfulness can bring improvements to both physical and
psychological symptoms, not to mention positive changes in health, attitudes and behaviors.
It was Professor Kabat-Zinns practice of yoga and studies with Buddhist teachers that led
him to integrate their teachings with those of science. He defines mindfulness as, Paying
attention on purpose, in the present moment, non-judgmentally as if your life depended
on it.
Read more about Massachusetts Center for Mindfulness [1].
A different approach is offered in a description of the book Mindfulness by Harvard
psychology professor Dr. Ellen J. Langer [2]: it is determined (by Langer) that the
mindless following of routine and other automatic behaviors leads to much error, pain
and a predetermined course of life. She explains how the mindless as opposed to the
mindful develop mind-sets of categories, associations, habits of thought born of repetition
in childhood and throughout schooling. To be mindful, she notes that stressing process over
outcome allows free rein to intuition and creativity and opens us up to new information
and perspectives.

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The Conscious and Subconscious Aspects of Mind

When we talk about practicing mindfulness, we first need to know something about what
is often referred to as the Conscious and Subconscious aspects of the mind.
To draw an analogy, the mind could be seen as software, with the Conscious as the apps
that we interact with on the screen and the Subconscious as the operating system in the
background that controls everything yet that we are unaware of.
The Conscious Mind
The brain, which could be considered here as the hardware, draws in stimulus from our
environment and taps it straight into our conscious mind.
The conscious mind is the part that is aware at any given moment of what is happening
around us, both inside and outside of us: i.e. our breathing and bodily sensations, the
environment, etc.
The conscious mind generally communicates to the outside world and the inner self through
speech, pictures, writing, physical movement, and thought.
Using our computer analogy, recent memories could be said to be handled by apps for
quick recall when needed, such as a contact app that stores important telephone numbers
or the name of someone we have just met.

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Then there are also apps that run each day automatically in the background, such as our
daily recurring thoughts, behavior patterns, habits and feelings, which are formed based on
locked-away memories in our subconscious.
The Subconscious Mind
The subconscious is what runs us like the operating system of a computer. It chugs along
in the background with information being held in memory and vulnerable to viruses. It
is the long term storage place for all our memories and the apps that have been installed
since birth.
It is important to remember that within the subconscious mind there are many negative
thought patterns and aspects of conditioning that tend to rule our lives. They run silently
in the background like computer viruses that we are completely unaware of. These viruses
continually throw up all kinds of problems in our lives that make no sense and which,
therefore, we often feel powerless to address.
The subconscious mind is the storehouse of all distant memories and past experiences, both
those that have been repressed through trauma and those that have simply been forgotten
and are no longer important to us. It is from these memories and experiences that our
beliefs, habits, and behaviors are formed.
Psychoanalysis sessions can sometimes reveal these memories through techniques such as
hypnosis, or they can be triggered by a particular aroma, a piece of music, a journey back
to a childhood place, etc.
We cannot by choice, however, remember anything in our subconscious without some
special event or technique to draw it out.
The subconscious refers to the part of the mind that cannot be known by the conscious
mind. It consists of the mental processes that occur automatically and are not generally
available to introspection.
The subconscious mind communicates through feelings and emotions, imagination,
sensations, and dreams. It uses its programs to make sense of all the data we receive from
our environment and to keep us safe in the world and ensure our survival.
The logic of the subconscious says this: if something worked in the past and we survived,
then we will continue to get through similar situations by the same means, no matter how
misguided, painful or unhelpful the results may be to us personally in our current life.

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Deloitte & Touche LLP and affiliated entities.
The Iceberg Analogy

Another way of looking at the difference between the conscious and subconscious aspects
of the mind is with the image of an iceberg.
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Dis
The tip of the iceberg that is above water represents the conscious mind, but the greater
portion that is submerged represents the subconscious mind.
When we look at an iceberg on the horizon, the part we see is only a tiny portion of
the whole, so we could be forgiven for thinking that that is all there is. The submerged
part, however, is much larger and holds much more weight. This plays out in life by the
subconscious holding our limiting beliefs, which often sabotage us without us realizing it.
Mindfulness and Self-Awareness
Psychologist Daniel Goleman, proposes a definition of self-awareness in his best-selling book
Emotional Intelligence [3], as knowing ones internal states, preferences, resources and
intuition. This definition places emphasis on the ability to monitor our inner world, not
to mention our thoughts and emotions as they arise.
Self-awareness is a cornerstone to emotional intelligence, says Daniel Goleman, and,
The ability to monitor our thoughts and emotions from moment to moment is the key to
understanding ourselves better, being at peace with who we are and consciously managing
our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.
In addition, according to Dr. Goleman, Self-aware people tend to act consciously rather
than react passively, to be in good psychological health and have a positive outlook on life.
They also have greater depth of life experience and are likely to be more compassionate
to others.
Looking Inwards
The conscious aspect, therefore, is the part of the mind linked to awareness and it is the
conscious mind that we actively connect to when practicing mindfulness. It can not only
direct and hold our attention and focus, but it is also able to imagine that which is not
real, i.e. it can visualize.
For some people, it is relatively easy and natural to direct their thoughts towards a more
positive outlook on life and every situation. For others it is not so easy, depending on the
type of programming the subconscious has received since birth.
This ability of the conscious mind to direct our attention and awareness is one of themost
important powers we humans have.

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If we want to create change in our lives, we need to learn to control what we consciously
focus on in each moment; this is the basis of mindfulness.
The actual skill of directing our focus simply comes down to making choices. Deciding
how we will think and what thoughts we willallowinto our minds determines ourdestiny.
By being in charge of our own thoughts, we can influence which programs thesubconsciousmind
runs and work to eliminate any viruses therein.
Done on a consistent basis, this will start to reprogram and upgrade thesubconsciousinternal
representation and belief system, allowing freedom of thought and, ultimately, a happier
frame of mind.
Once we are aware of this, we are more consciously able to make stronger and more
meaningful life choices.
1.2 CHOOSING TO VERSUS HAVING TO

Culture and religion play important roles in society, though they can both be perceived as
highly organized structures designed to control and organize the masses. Whether this is a
good or bad thing is a matter of personal viewpoint. With science, medicine, politics and
education it is not much different.
We have so many things taking up our time and daily thoughts that it can feel good to let
someone else take over and tell us what to eat, which medications to take, how to think,
what to wear, how to speak, what to study, who to vote for, who to marry, how many
children to have, etc. What is clear, however, is that within societys norms it can sometimes
feel like we are fighting for the independence of our thoughts, minds and bodies.
Humans tend to do what has been done before, often without questioning to find out if
there is any sense or reason to it.
To illustrate this, a story comes to mind about a little girl who grew up watching her
mother cook in the kitchen
Every time the mother made a pot roast, she would cut off a slice from both ends of the
piece of meat before putting it in the pot. The child watched her mother do this every
week for years and never questioned it.

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Much later, when the girl was an adult and had a family of her own, her husband was
watching her cook one day and asked why she cut a slice off both ends of the meat before
putting it in the pot. She thought for a moment and said she did not really know but, because
her mother did it and her mother was an excellent cook, it must be the right thing to do.
The next time she saw her mother, she asked her why she had always done this, expecting
to be told it was to do with how the flavor would develop, or something along those lines.
Her mother said it was simply because the weekly piece of meat her husband came home
with was always too big to go in the pot she had.
A classic example of how easy it is for us humans to walk mindlessly through life without
really paying attention to what we are doing, or why.
Behaving Like Sheep
We know that keeping up with the Joneses makes no sense on any level, yet the world of
consumerism depends on us doing just that. With adverts bombarding us on a daily basis,
we are actively encouraged to want bigger, better, shinier, newer.
We watch reality programs and start to believe we know all about the so-called celebrities
who cavort and misbehave before our eyes.
We peer constantly into our smart phones watching, waiting, sending, absorbing meaningless
information on social media about what our peers had for breakfast or whether they can
bear to get through another day at work and thank god its Friday.
Unless we have a strong naturally independent disposition, we somehow feel obliged to do
this or that, to follow the herd, dress like everyone else, do what everyone else does.

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Or maybe we find ourselves so exhausted and burned out by trying to be something that
we are not that we wake up one morning screaming, Enough!.
Making Our Choices
When we can change I should, I must and I have to for I choose to, we immediately
empower ourselves. Then, if we choose not to do something, we can more creatively find
a way out of a current situation or find a different solution.
But, most importantly, we will have then pulled ourselves out of the victim role and set
ourselves onto a new, conscious and more liberating path.
What we need to start achieving a mind-set of mindfulness is a sense of personal choice
over one of obligation and duty. For example:
I have to put up with this situation because I need the money. can become I
choose to extricate myself from this situation as soon as possible.
The doctors in my health service are responsible for the state of my health.
can change to I choose to find other ways to heal myself.
I dont understand why nobody ever listens to me! can become I choose to
learn to communicate my thoughts more effectively.
Choosing More Mindfully

In the quest to empower ourselves towards becoming more mindful, we might then choose
to take this one step further. As we develop our mindfulness muscles, our action statements
could start with: I resolve to

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Examples of I Choose To
Examples of I Resolve To
Find convenient ways to eat healthily.

Make my health a priority.
Accept or improve my weight/
appearance.
Be proud of my age and all it entails.
Pay more attention to my conscious
thoughts.
Become better educated.
Retrain for a new career.
Allow my children to grow into
independent adults and not manipulate
them into being how I want them to be.
Forgive my parents for any wrong they
did to me, knowing they probably did
the best they could.
Be kind to my co-workers.
Look for the good in people and situations.
Take responsibility for everything in my life.
Eat more healthily.

Quit cigarettes and recreational
drugs.
Lose or gain weight.
Start yoga/tai chi/dance/
exercise classes.
Meditate regularly.
Sign up for further education.
Look for a better job.
Criticize my children less.
Listen more patiently to my parents.
Stop gossiping behind
peoples backs.
Stop blaming others for all the
wrongs in my life.
Praise my co-workers more.
Stop fighting things I know in my
heart I cannot change.
Investigate alternatives to
conventional medicine.
Taking Personal Responsibility

The awareness of mindfulness posits that from the moment we choose to believe and act
like we are 100% responsible for everything that happens or does not happen in our
life, is the moment we are able to start taking control and accepting that as human beings
we are powerful beings.
Taking responsibility for everything in our lives is not the same as saying that everything is
our fault or that we are to blame. It is simply accepting that on a conscious or subconscious
level we either create situations or allow them to happen, therefore we are 100% responsible
for them. This way of thinking empowers us to change whatever we do not like in our life.
Taking responsibility means that we acknowledge that on some level we create everything
that happens to us, both good and what we perceive as bad. It means that we understand
that we are the cause, consciously or subconsciously, of all our experiences.

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Living in the Present

Knowing and believing we can put personal choice over what we see as obligation and
duty encourages us to become stronger. When we can focus our attention on the present
moment and accept it without judgment, giving no thought to the past or future, we
become empowered.
With practice, we find that little can shake or overwhelm us.
Many people spend nearly their entire lives living either a) in the past, reminiscing how it
once was, or could have been, or b) in the future, dreaming of how it could one day be.
There is a simple reason for this. When we experience ourselves being fully present, which
can often be at moments of extreme pleasure or pain, it throws into sharp relief anything
that is lacking in our lives and gives us pause for a lot of thought.
This emotional discomfort can cause us such grief that we then close ourselves off from
our true feelings, hopes and dreams, and deny ourselves the opportunity of grasping life
by the scruff and living it fully.
1.3 BENEFITS OF BEING MINDFUL

Mindfulness is now being examined scientifically and has been found to be a key element in:
Better physical health
Better mental and emotional health
Increased confidence and improved relationships
Which, in turn, all lead to improved work performance.

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Slow Is Good
We often feel the need to keep moving, to keep ourselves busy. We sense that if we dare to
slow down we might have to confront our deepest fears about ourselves and our lives and
perhaps see them for being mindless.
But it is only when we slow ourselves down, physically and mentally, that we can we see
what programs are running us and where the bugs and glitches are.
Without judgment, we become more aware, notice things more and hold them with a
sense of kindness, curiosity and openness that is not available to us when we are unaware.

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What Does Mind-less-ness Look Like?
2 WHAT DOES MIND-LESS-NESS

LOOK LIKE?
Living mindlessly takes an enormous toll. What we get from each moment depends on the
attention we give it, and the quality of our experience reflects the quality of our awareness.
~ Roger Walsh
2.1 LIVING MINDLESSLY

Most people lead ridiculously busy lives these days.
We get up at the last possible moment, take a shower and get dressed on autopilot, eat a
quick breakfast with little nutritional value, jump in the car and drive impatiently to work
while shouting at other drivers, cyclists, pedestrians and traffic lights.
We cruise round and round the same streets or car park looking for a parking space then
throw ourselves, exhausted, into the work place.
Little wonder we feel stressed, angry and out of sorts for the rest of the day.
Clearly, this is madness enacted out on a regular basis but, if we are not careful, it becomes
the never questioned norm, day in, day out, week in, week out.
Holidays and vacations promise some relief, but what we had hoped would be a relaxing
and positive respite can turn into a period of angst about the financial cost, leaving the
house unattended and finding accommodation or trustworthy sitters for the pets.
We can find ourselves worrying ceaselessly about what work we have left behind and who
might be doing it in our absence, thereby in our insecure minds usurping our position.
Not to mention what extra work will be waiting for us on our return.
The unfamiliarity of being thrown together 24/7 with a spouse or partner and the irritation
of children that never want to do anything but stare into their screens and need be coerced
all the timethese things can really start to get to us.

22
Add to that a hotel bed so soft it reminds us how long we have had our chronic back pain,
and this can raise levels of stress that we hoped we had left behind us for a few short weeks.
This might not be everyones exact scenario, but something along these lines can often be
what it takes to start to investigate the concept of the value of mindfulness.
2.2 WASTING PRECIOUS TIME

Many people pass through these things each day of their lives on their way to work, or
driving in the country, and never notice the birds, or the clouds floating across the sky,
or the flowers by the roadside. They are too preoccupied with business matters or with
personal problems to notice anything outside themselves.They travel through life as if it
were a dark tunnel. This is unfortunate.
~ Joseph F. Girzone
Something like 40% of people wake up and the first thing they do is check their email,
says Professor Cary Cooper of Manchester Business School, who has studied e-mail and
workplace stress. For another 40%, its the last thing they do at night.
We can waste hours each day checking irrelevant emails and social media accounts that add
nothing to our lives. With our smartphones glowing beside us 24/7, our lives are always
on, which in turn makes us more stressed and less productive.
The report, The Quality of Working Life 2016 from the Chartered Management Institute
[4], found that managers who are always on are now working 29 days extra a year. They are
suffering rising levels of stress because the obsession with checking emails outside working
hours makes it difficult for many to switch off.
A few enlightened companies are waking up to this silent dis-ease in their midst, by shutting
off employees email when they go home at the end of each day, and also when they go
on holiday, for example.
Other forward-thinking companies are experimenting with social media-style messaging to
help ease the deluge of emails [5].
Many large and small companies around the world now offer in-house sessions of yoga and
meditation to help their employees cope with the stress of their jobs. This is resulting in
not only reduced stress levels but also reduced company healthcare costs.

23
Monday, MondayNew Beginnings
We all love the weekendwe feel free and relaxed and can temporarily forget the deadlines,
the pressure, the boss. Weekends are for being with friends and families, walks in the park,
escapes to the cinema, a favorite restaurant, making plans.
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Sunday lunch is relaxed, a couple of beers, a glass or two of winebut by early evening
we are starting to twitch, to feel vaguely uncomfortable. We rub the backs of our necks
and crack our knuckles.
Sunday evening is spent thinking about Monday morningand workand the start of
the whole drama again.
But, while it may launch us back into the dreaded workweek, Monday also represents a
fresh start. After a couple of days of relaxation and downtime, our brains can be better
primed to make decisions.
According to the University of Pennsylvania, on Mondays more people visit the gym, make
formal commitments and search the internet for diet than on any other day [6]. Our
subconscious mind, apparently, realizes that Monday is a day for seeing beyond past failures
and thinking about a bigger picture.
In terms of work, on Mondays we are able to stop fussing about whether we are climbing
the ladder fast enough, and check to see whether the ladder is leaning against the right
wall in the first place.
It seems that the newness of Mondays (and the first of each month, New Years Day, etc.)
allows us to stop and consider whether or not we are headed in the right direction. It propels
us to consider a decision that we might otherwise have avoided altogether.
Mondays mark an important opportunity to improve how we conduct ourselves both at
home and at work.
2.3 WHAT CAN WE EXPECT?

If you have seen the film Revolutionary Road [7] with Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate
Winslet, you will have witnessed the destruction of a dream, a marriage and a family. It is
a study in mindlessness over vision.

25
Frank (Leonardo DiCaprio) and April Wheeler (Kate Winslet) always see themselves as farremoved from the conventionality of suburbia. Yet that is exactly what creeps up on them
when they buy a house in Connecticut. He toils 10 hours a day in a job he hates, while
she, as a 1950s homemaker, yearns for fulfillment and passion. Rebelling against the torpor
of their lives, the couple plans an escape that may push them to their limits.
Living mindlessly means following societys rules without questioning them and doing what
has always been done because it is tradition. It means never leaving the comfort of the
zone we have built around ourselves and not actually even realizing there is a box that we
can step out of.
We could also say we are being mindless when we are caught up in a feeling or being
distracted by thoughts in this moment, i.e. not fully aware of or present in this moment
(repeatedly switching T.V. channels or routine driving). But, likewise, if we are aware of this
moment, but unwilling to be present in it because it seems undesirable or unacceptable,
we could also call that being mindless.
We Do Ourselves No Favors by Living Mindlessly
When you dance, your purpose is not to get to a certain place
on the floor. Its to enjoy each step along the way.
~ Dr. Wayne Dyer
Few people live mindfully throughout the day. We get lost in our daily routines, mindlessly
accomplishing various tasks and responsibilities, all too often without question or observation.
We tend to:
Read a few sentences but are unable to remember what we just read.
Rush to get something done without paying attention to the process of doing it.
Eat without noticing the textures and flavors.
Are unaware that we are reminiscing about the past or worrying about the future.
Are unable or unwilling to notice and accept uncomfortable emotions or sensations.

26
The Ultimate Downside

Mindlessness tends to boil down to one or all of the following:
Lack of time
Lack of energy
Depression
Cynicism
Burnout
Distractedness
Inattention
Lack of engagement
Staying with lost causes
Not knowing when to throw in the towel
Fear of change
Anxiety
Exhaustion
Monkey Mind
Mindless living is a sad state to exist in because it is a non-state. To live without consciousness
and awareness is to have the joy of life elude us. We may get to the end of our lives more
or less intact and in one piece, but we never get to really smell either the coffee or the roses.

27
Why Should I Care?
3 WHY SHOULD I CARE?

I kept the wage-paying jobs to a minimum because the only thing
I ever really wanted was free time to do my own stuff.
~ Louis Stettner, artist and photographer
3.1 STRESS, THE GREAT DESTROYER

Stress is not in and of itself a bad thing; without knowing what stress feels like we would
not know to take care in dangerous situations. For example, if we smell smoke it might
tell us to check that our house is not on fire. In the moment we find out that it is, we
need a hit of adrenalin to kick in and a certain degree of stress to keep us thinking and
moving quickly.
Certain amounts of stress are essential to warn us of something potentially dangerous.
When we talk about stress being the great destroyer, we are talking about unnecessarily high
levels of stress on a day to day basis.
Why Practice Mindfulness?
Mostly, we practice mindfulness to reduce stress. We have all heard stories of people whose
job has literally made them ill; maybe you have some first-hand experience of this yourself.
Many people find themselves compromised on a daily basis when it comes to the ethics of
the job they do or the company they work for. But their sense of need for job security
and a regular pay-check keep them tied to the status quo.
In general, society informs us that in order to live happy and meaningful lives we need to
be successful in the areas of:
Money & Career
Romantic and Family Relationships
Body, Health and Wellness
These are what most people spend most of their time focusing on. But it can create real
stress to pursue these goals because they all depend, to one extent or another, on the outside
world complying by defining and refining our lives for us.

28
Why Should I Care?
Mindfulness, on the other hand, assists us in aiming for:

Living from Our Essence
Fulfillment, Satisfaction and Fun
Peace of Mind, Spirituality and Truth
These goals are more internalized, they therefore assist us in addressing the age-old issue of
our purpose and mission and the eternal question of What am I here for? and Whats
it all about?
When we practice bringing ourselves repeatedly into the present moment, the now, we start
to live more in integrity. We are able to relax into who we are and what we truly believe
in without fear of any consequences.
Our authenticity starts to shine through in every conversation or transaction, whether with
our boss, a client or our co-workers. Our stress levels cannot help but decrease because we
are presenting ourselves in our truth.
Stress shows up in many faces at work: as cynicism, greed, envy, exhaustion, lethargy,
depression and burn out, to name but a few.
Stress at work can be caused by:
Bullying
Environmental pollution such as noise
Air-conditioning
Lack of personal space
Social obstacles
Guilt
Feelings of inadequacy
Morally compromised decision-making
Fear

29
Why Should I Care?
3.2 WHAT IS STRESS?

There are many definitions as to what constitutes stress, depending on who you speak to.
Dr. Rich Blonna [8] says that stress always has three main aspects to it:
1. A potential stressor which can be anything or anyone that causes you stress
2. What your mind tells you about the potential stress, i.e. your thoughts about
the situation
3. A stress response meaning, how your body feels and reacts to the potential stress
If your mind thinks you are being threatened and your response is that you cannot cope with
this, the short term effect is usually extreme tiredness, but the long term effects are much
more serious: a lower quality of life and an increased risk of physical and/or mental illness.
The Effects of Stress on the Body:
1. Cortisol
You may have heard that Cortisol is often called the the stress hormone as it influences,
regulates or modulates many of the changes that occur in the body in response to stress. These
changes can include blood sugar (glucose) levels, fat, protein and carbohydrate metabolism
to maintain blood glucose (gluconeogenesis), and immune responses among others.
Nutrition and Fitness Coach Vanessa Bennington says in her article, The Ups and Downs
of Cortisol: What You Need to Know [9] During periods of stress, Cortisol production
may a) go through the roof, b) your body may not make enough, or c) you may make a
ton of it at night when youre trying to sleep and nothing in the morning. Ugh.

30
Why Should I Care?
And If we let stress get the best of us for too long, our bodies just cant handle it anymore
and a message is sent to the hypothalamus and the anterior pituitary that, Hey guys, were
kind of overloaded here time to shut down for a while. It is thought that when cortisol
levels are too high for too long the feedback mechanism in our bodies gets a little screwy.
All of which basically means that when Cortisol goes out of balance, both our mind and
body can go haywire and it can take a long period of time and rest to get over it.
2. Stress and Myalgic Encephalopathy or M.E.
One result of stress can be the onset of Myalgic Encephalopathy or M.E., which is highly
debilitating and usually long lasting. This illness of uncertain cause affects many thousands
of people around the world. It is also found under the names of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
and Post-Viral Fatigue Syndrome. [10]
Although still generally not recognized by the allopathic (conventional) medical profession,
it is a condition where one has severe and debilitating long-term fatigue.Most sufferersalso
have one or more other symptoms such as painful muscles and joints, disturbed sleep
patterns, gastric disturbances, weak memory, poor concentration and headaches.
In many cases, the onset of M.E. is linked to a viral infection which takes hold when
the immune system is depleted: It is often also attributed to high achiever A1 personality
types hence the original slang name of yuppie flu but it is often exacerbated by stress.
3. Stress and Depression
A certain amount of stress can be good for us; it keeps us alert, on our toes, motivated and
primed to respond to danger.
Stress is a normal psychological and physical reaction to positive or negative situations in
life. As anyone who has faced a work deadline or competed in sport knows, stress mobilizes
the body to respond, thereby improving performance.
Yet too much stress, or chronic stress, can lead to depression.
As already mentioned, sustained, or chronic stress in particular, leads to elevated hormones
such as cortisol, the stress hormone. It also reduces serotonin and other neurotransmitters
in the brain, including dopamine, which has been linked to depression.

31
Why Should I Care?
When these chemical systems are working normally, they regulate biological processes like
sleep, appetite, energy, and sex drive, and permit expression of normal moods and emotions.
When the stress response fails to shut off and reset after a difficult situation has passed, it
can lead to depression in some people.
No-one in life escapes event-related stress, such as death of a loved one, divorce, a new job,
moving house; or even a natural disaster such as an earthquake or flood. A work redundancy
or downsize an acute stressor may lead to chronic stress if a job search is prolonged.
Loss of any type is a major risk factor for depression.
Chronic stressful life situations can increase the risk of developing depression if someone
does not cope well with the stress.
Stress in itself is not bad; what is important is how one deals with it. When someone has
trouble coping, chronic stress can wear them down and overwhelm them. They may suffer
moodiness, productivity may decrease, relationships may suffer, often sleep problems develop,
and even routine tasks can seem overwhelming.
As we will see later in this book, there are many self-help stress relievers that can alleviate
or overcome stress, such as getting regular exercise, enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, or
simply cutting back on obligations. [11]
4. Stress and Our Relationships
Stress impacts our love relationships more than we are aware of or acknowledge, according
to Judy Ford, a clinical social worker. Part of the problem is that stress is entrenched in our
daily life. Stress has become such a normal part of daily life that partners become immune
to the symptoms and warning signs, she says.
Ignoring stress only ignites it. Even when a couple tries to ignore stress, like static in the
air it is felt and absorbed. If partners do talk about being stressed, they may not know
what to do about it, Ford said.
Also, stress is contagious. Ford compared stress to a game of ping-pong, where the tension
bounces back and forth between partners. They become unable to either relax or enjoy
each other.

32
Why Should I Care?
Stress shows up in our actions, our behavior, and in both verbal and non-verbal
communications, she says. So it is bound to not only affect both partners but also their
relationship. Stressed-out couples quarrel and fight more often, withdraw from each other,
feel disconnected, sad, frustrated, angry.
Ongoing unchecked stress can create bigger problems. Long-term stress can turn to depression
and isolation resulting in a frozen and distant relationship, she says. [12]
5. Stress and Cancer
It is now well documented that cancer cells cannot exist in a body that has a healthy immune
system. For cancer to develop, the immune system must be either worn out or ineffective.
Chronic stress can lead to immune system deficiency, which in turn can lead to overwhelming
inflammation in the body, which in turn can lead to cancer. [13]
3.3 REGRET THE SADDEST EMOTION

Regrets rob us of living our lives fully in the moment because they are all based on a
negative view of the past.
Ex-palliative nurse, Bonnie Ware, in her book The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying [14] says
that many of her dying patients expressed themselves like this:
I wish Id had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others
expected of me.
I wish I hadnt worked so hard.
I wish Id had the courage to express my feelings.
I wish Id stayed in touch with my friends.
I wish Id let myself be happier.
The outcome of stress, over time, is a depleted immune system, which in turn can lead to
heart problems, digestive problems, stroke and even cancer. This is now well-known and
well-documented.
Stress breaks us down, wrecks our health, prevents us from sleeping, renders us incapable
of making best decisions, and incites us to react before thinking.
Mindfulness, therefore, makes complete sense, as mindfulness is the antithesis of stress.

33
How Can I Become More Mindful?
4 HOW CAN I BECOME

MORE MINDFUL?
Do or do not, there is no try.
~ Yoda
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34
e Graduate Programme
for Engineers and Geoscientists
4.1 START FROM RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW

Let us assume you normally wake early in the morning, hit the snooze button, turn over,
wake again, get up, shower, dress, grab a cup of coffeeyou know, the familiar and mindless
pattern re-enacted in a million households around the world each day.
The key to making mindful changes is to make an effort to do everyday actions as mindfully
as possible; to bring the mind into the moment and hold it there for as long as possible.
But first, we need to set our intentions for ourselves.
What Do We Mean by Intentions?
When we talk about intentions, we are referring to the underlying motivation for nearly
everything we think, say or do.
As we now know, the subconscious mind tends to be in charge of most of our behavior
and a lot of our decision making; it is what runs us on autopilot for the most part. When
we set an intention, we bypass the subconscious and focus on a conscious outcome.
But this intention-setting action also manages to connect the two aspects of the mind with
what we call awareness and this, in turn, makes us more mindful.
What can our intentions be? Anything related to how we want to treat others, how we want
to treat ourselves, how we want to behave in a particular situation.
It can be useful to set up a checking system to allow us to remind ourselves that we are
on track. For example, we can set an alarm on our mobile phone to sound at non-busy
moments during the day, to bring us back into the present moment and thereby refocus.
4.2 MINDFULNESS IN FOUR WORDS: PAY ATTENTION AND RELAX

Try to imagine sailing through life in a happy haze with not a care in the worldno conflict,
no friction, no tensionnot from anyone.
Imagine everyone agreeing with you even when you know in your heart they should not be
your partner never contradicting you or complaining about your little ways, your children
acquiescing to your every whim and request with a smile, your boss only interrupting and
bothering you to praise you
If you think that sounds rather boring, you would be right; it would drive most of us crazy.

35
As human beings, we thrive on tension and crave others points of reference to let us know
how we are doing and how we can shape up better. If everything we do and say is praised
as perfect, we become egocentric and arrogant.
We see this around us every day, in politics, in sport and in celebrity. The world is littered
with monsters that are surrounded by yes-men. Humility is in short supply when it comes
to most forms of leadership.
But What Does This Have to Do With Mindfulness, You Might Ask?
The mindful person does not set out or aim to be perfect. They simply choose to pay
attention and intend to improve themselves, every day in every way.
Furthermore, the mindful person does not expect or even want to be the best at everything,
simply to pay attention to the moment and do their best, moment by moment with curiosity
and kindness, to those around them.
A bonus is finding that by keeping humble and relaxed, the mindful person starts to excel
at whatever they put their mind to, naturally and without forcing anything. They also start
to win friends and influence people around them.
Nothing is more delightful than spending time with someone who feels they have nothing
to prove; someone who is confident in the essence of who they are.
Being Considerate to Others
Mindfulness is simply relaxing, noticing when your mind has wandered, and bringing it
back to what is in front of you, moment by moment.
For the mindful person, it is easy to stay curious and open-minded about life and the
people around us.
When things are not going so well at work and we are trying to keep our head down, we
need to remember that other people suffer too. Our boss is human and often also has a
boss who might be giving them a hard time. Or they might have a partner or spouse who
is acting badly, or children who are becoming a real worry, or elderly parents suffering illhealth, etc.

36
Without being nosy, we can be empathetic and let them know we are there for them. We
often just need to steer our thoughts away from ourselves and pay attention to what is
happening around us.
Getting caught in a traffic jam, waiting in line in a queue, or taking a shower are all times
when the Monkey Mind can run riot.
One woman started every day in a bad mood, simply because she woke up and went
straight from bed into the shower. She then spent the next ten minutes going over all her
grievances in her mind as the warm water poured over her. She unconsciously allowed
herself to get angry every morning before she had even left the house and gone to work.
Happiness eluded her.
Mindful thinking would have enabled her to slow down her habitual thought processes,
focus on the activity of cleansing her body, and start the day relaxed, energized and ready
to do her best.
To live a happy, stress-free life, we need to consciously let go of harmful habits that have been
with us for so long that they seem to have become part of the very fabric of our personality.
We need to relearn and remember who we are, which is at essence amazing beings
capable of choosing and recreating our own destiny. We are all divine works in progress.

37
4.3 EXERCISES TO HELP YOU MAKE THE SHIFT

As discussed, the essence of mindfulness is being observant and slowing down. There are
many ways to practice mindfulness; some are solitary endeavors and some work well with
others, but they all arise from focusing totally on the moment.
Starting Your Day Well Begins the Night Before
Living a mindful life by starting the day right is key to achieving success and goals in
our lives.
The previous night, write down all the things you want to achieve the next day. Take some
time to plan out the day in a way that suits you. Writing down your next days intentions
before you go to sleep ensures that your eyes takes a mental photo of the plan and imprints
it in your mind.
Since everything and everybody in the world is connected by subtle energy, this action
enables your subconscious mind to attract the positive situations that you desire for the
next day. An example could be the best outcome with a client, a good conversation with
your boss or the right candidate turning up for a job interview.
It can feel overwhelming to consider the whole day ahead, but if you plan by the hour or
in small manageable chunks, it makes it easier to organize.
Do it in your own way and at your own rhythm.
When you arrive at your desk or place of work, clear and tidy this space before you do
anything else. This will create an atmosphere that will put you on the right track to start
a positive and beneficial days work.
Place your previous evenings plan in front of you and go through it. Focus on who you
have to call, which appointments you have to make, meetings you have to attend, etc.
If you must connect to social media, do it at lunchtime, in the afternoon or after work.
Giving Thanks by Expressing Gratitude on Waking
We can start practicing mindfulness from the very first waking moment of our day. Dr. John
Demartini, authorof the book The Gratitude Effect [15], says he practices gratitude every
morning on waking and does not get out of bed until he feels tears of gratitude in his eyes.

38
Before we even open our eyes we can give thanks for waking up to another day, another
opportunity to be the best we can be.
We can give thanks for the comfort of the bed we are lying in, the softness of the pillows, the
warmth of the blankets or duvet, the partner by our side or the luxury of having the bed to
ourselves. Maybe we can give thanks for the sound of childrens voices from another room.
We can then open our eyes and slowly move our attention around the room, stopping and
concentrating and giving thanks as we go. Give thanks to the light streaming through the
window, the sound of birdsong from outside, the furniture in the room that keeps our
clothes clean and tidy, the coolness or warmth of the flooring.
Then, before we get out of bed, we can give thanks for the current job we have chosen and
are responsible for doing to the best of our ability. This might be a temporary job just to
pay the bills, a stop gap while we decide on our next move, or a lifetime career or vocation.
It helps to reinforce the thought that we are responsible for our choices.
Giving Thanks for the Negatives Too
Giving thanks without judging something as either good or bad shifts us faster into
mindfulness than almost any other practice.
If we have just been let go or have no current employment but are actively looking, we can
give thanks in advance for some opportunities this day to be directed to the right person
or place to help us.
If we proceed in this way, taking as much time as is available to give thanks for the things
in our life, it kick-starts us into a positive mindset each morning before we even get out
of bed.
This in turn starts us off smiling at the day ahead.
If, for whatever reason, we find it hard to feel grateful for all we have, we can at least
choose to make an effort to change our mindset. Maybe life has not turned out quite how
we had hoped or envisaged and we feel disappointed, but we can at least choose to set
some new intentions.
In this way, we will set ourselves up for the possibility to make positive changes.

39
We can then finish our daily gratitude by saying, either aloud or to ourselves, something
like, Today is another precious day in my life. I am living it with joy, love, creativity,
kindness, integrity, truth and compassion. I am connected to Source. This will have the
effect of changing the subconscious mindset to a conscious one of mindfulness.
It is important, however, to focus the mind fully and from the heart on the words being
spoken for these few seconds. This takes practice but is totally achievable.
Clearing Away the Previous Nights Thoughts
Meditation is a tool to assist us in becoming aware of our thoughts and feelings in every
moment, which is necessary in us becoming more consciously aware.
Every morning, before we go to work or start our day, we clean our teeth and take a shower.
These freshening actions are so much a part of our daily routine that, in general, we would
not dream of leaving the house without doing them. Why not, then, freshen our mind each
morning before we start the day?
Meditation is not intended to clear the mind of thoughts, but rather to help us achieve
clarity of the thoughts we have throughout our daily lives.

40
We can no more give the mind an instruction to stop thinking than give the heart
an instruction to stop beating. Both thinking mind and beating heart are involuntary,
subconscious actions.
Through meditation we can access different states of consciousness but we cannot control
our mind by telling it to stop thinking.
There are techniques available that help us access different states of consciousness to give
the body deep rest, which in turn helps the body to heal and eliminate stress.
How Does Mediation Help Clarify My Thoughts?
Meditation helps us to relax and develop the right side of our brain which, in terms of
mindfulness, is connected to present moment awareness.
Mindfulness meditation directs us to be attentive to feelings of gratitude.
Meditation is an ancient technique and there are many types of meditation available to
us, but the two most frequently used are meditating on the breath as it passes through
our nostrils, and meditating on a mantra, which is a simple word that we repeat silently
in our head.
These techniques are designed to return us to our meditation practice when our mind strays,
and to anchor us back again in our conscious awareness.
Meditating on the Breath Exercise
This 10 minute breathing meditation helps us develop and strengthen our quality of
mindfulness. It enables us continue to practice it throughout the day and derive all the
benefits from practicing it.
The first five minutes are spent calming the mind and the next five in a deeper state
of meditation.
First
Get into a comfortable sitting position, making sure your back is straight. It is not necessary
to sit on the floor or a cushion and cross your legs, although you can if you want to. You
can sit up in bed, or on a chair with both feet on the floor. The important thing is to be
comfortable and relaxed and that your back is straight. Try to have your back supported
by a bedhead, a chair or a wall and to have your head and neck free.

41
Next
You can either place the back of your right hand in the palm of your left hand with your
thumbs gently touching, or place your hands on your knees, palms up or down, whichever
is the most comfortable for you. Your eyes can be half open or closed, whichever is most
comfortable. If you find yourself getting sleepy, it might help if you keep your eyes half open.
Start By Letting Go
Let all your ideas about yourself, your future and your past just drop away. Bring all your
attention to the present moment, to your body and your breath.
Breathing normally, become aware of the sensation of your breath going in and out through
your nostrils. Feel the coolness of the air as it enters your lungs and then goes out again.
Just breathe normally.
Bring your awareness to the edges of your nostrils or your upper lip. Feel a slight sensation
of the breath around your nostrils or upper lip as you breathe in and out. Anchor your
attention on where you can feel the breath gently passing in and out, in and out.
If you need to breathe through your mouth, this is OK too, just keep your attention on
feeling the breath between your lips. This point of nostrils or upper lip is where you need to
bring your attention back to whenever it becomes distracted by thoughts or outside sounds.
Now start counting your breath: each time you breathe in and out and you feel the breath
touching that point, count 1.
1. For the first inhalation and sensation of the breath on the nostrils or top lip, count 1.
2. For the first exhalation and sensation of the breath, count 2.
3. For the next inhalation, count 3,
4. For the next exhalation, count 4.
5. Keep counting your inhalations and exhalations until you reach 10.
6. Then begin again at 1.
Do not feel pressured or rushed to reach 10, counting is simply a tool used to increase
your concentration.
Staying Relaxed and Keeping Going
If you get distracted by thoughts or outside sounds, just gently and calmly return your
attention to your breath.

42
Continue in this way for five minutes, counting your breath going in and out and passing
your nostrils or upper lip.
You can then either continue counting for another five minutes or, if you feel confident
to drop the counting, you can instead place all your concentration on the point of your
nostrils or top lip where you can feel the breath for another five minutes.
Make sure that you can hold your attention on that spot for the whole of the inhalation
and exhalation. If your mind wanders, just gently bring it back again to the breath and
continue meditating for the duration of the time.
Do not be discouraged if you find your mind wandering off from time to time, this is
normal at the beginning. Even two mindful breaths is cause for celebration. Just keep gently
bringing your attention back to the breath.
With practice, this breathing meditation becomes easy and natural, and is designed to bring
peace and clarity of mind.
At the beginning, it can be good to have two gently ringing timers, one set at five minutes
and one set at ten minutes. Alternatively, you could do two 5-minute meditations per day,
one in the morning and one before going to sleep. Or you could do it sitting in the car
(engine off!), or on the train, or a park bench at lunchtime, or anywhere you can take five
minutes to be alone and quiet.
Meditating on a Mantra
Although there are different types of mantra meditation, the most well-known and commonly
practiced is Transcendental Meditation, which was introduced to the west by the late Maharishi
Mahesh Yogi in 1955. It has many teachers and followers worldwide and is supported by
the David Lynch Foundation in the US.
The TM technique is easy to learn, but requires personalized and interactive guidance. For
this reason, it is taught only through one-to-one instruction by one of the many certified
TM teachers in the world [16].

43
What If I Fall Asleep While Meditating?

If you find yourself falling asleep every time you meditate, it could be a sign that you are
literally tired and need more sleep. But if you find you start to drift off then come back
quickly with a start, you could simply be going into a deep meditative state of rest which
creates a window of transcendence.
Every time the brain transcends between the waking state and the sleeping state, we move
through a window of transcendence. This means that your body is getting very deep rest
and, whenever you start to drift off, you walk through this doorway of transcendence.
Sometimes, falling into a meditation and falling into sleep can feel very similar, so do keep
practicing. The worst case scenario is that you take a nap, but in time you will be able to
tell the difference between sleep and meditation.
What If I Have No Time to Meditate?
Do you spend a lot of time feeling out of sorts, tired, under the weather?

44
The thing to remember about meditation is that it will make you feel much better and
more productive, so all the things on your to-do list will get done in less time. Also, you
will find you need less sleep because your sleep will be more efficient.
Your meditation sessions will be for releasing stress instead of trying to release stress at
night while sleeping.
But what if you find your Monkey Mind becomes active again?
Just allow your thoughts to go along with it for a few seconds and then gently bring yourself
back to the breath or the mantra.
The key is to not beat yourself up for being a bad meditator but simply to think of yourself
as a practicing meditator.
You will start to look forward to your sessions thereby creating more time to meditate in
your daily life. Once you insert this me time into your daily life, you will stop rushing
and leaving yourself no time.
Meditation is the fastest tool to give access to your fulfilment and happiness, and the only
place they reside is inside of you. Once you realize that, you will stop rushing to get to the
finish line, because you will understand that there really is no finish line.
Rushing means being disrespectful of the present moment, rather than celebrating and
enjoying it.
How Can I Deal With Distractions While Meditating?
We live in a busy world of children, pets, TV, radio, neighbors, traffic, etc. Unless we live
in the middle of a desert, it is nigh on impossible to distance ourselves from the sounds of
life, especially early in the morning.
First we have to reframe our idea of what a distraction is and simply see it as just background
noise and include it in the overall experience of meditation.
How Do I Make Meditation a Habit?
At first, it takes some discipline to make time and space in our day, but when we start to
be aware of the benefits, we start to look forward to doing it and then easily it becomes
less of a discipline and more of a joy.

45
We then find that we need it more and more to perform well in every aspect of our lives.
Meditation exercises the right side of the brain, which is the side that gets the creative
downloads, ideas and intuition. Meditation strengthens the intuitive antenna, so to speak;
in waking state we become more available to ideas, insights and communication.
How Do I Know if I Am Doing It Right?
The quality of your meditation can only be judged by how well you are performing in life.
It has been said that we meditate to get good at life, not good at meditation.
To measure your progress, it is a good idea to ask yourself some questions before you commit
to a meditation practice. Questions such as:
How many hours sleep per night do I need?

How many hours of TV do I watch each day?
How many times per year do I get sick?
How much alcohol do I drink each week?
How often do I get angry?
What do I do when I get stressed?
Ask yourself questions on any topics that you feel are contributing to your general levels
of stress. Then, after a few weeks of meditating, see how things have shifted and changed.
Buddhists Love Meditating on Death
Some people would be surprised at this and think how morbid and negative, but it is
neither of these things. We all know we are going to die, we just do not know when.
Likewise, if we see birth into this life as a cause for celebration,why in our culture do
we view birth into the next as something to be feared?
There are many reasons for this, the obvious ones being fear of the unknown, leaving our
loved ones behind, having unfinished business, not leaving a legacy that shows we were
even herethe list goes on.
These can all create such an environment of fear that it can cause us great stress even
thinking about dying, so we generally avoid the subject as much as possible.
We somehow think that if we ignore it, it will go away, and it becomes a taboo subject.

46
But then one day it is upon us. Some go into a tailspin of panic,others start to feel regret
for things they did or did not do in their lives. Yet others see it as the continuum of a
great and exciting journey.
What living mindfully does is help us keep perspective. Religion, tradition and culture
can distort our view, strict adherence to which can prevent us from thinking sensibly
and intelligently.
Meditating on the concept of death keeps us mindfully in the moment.
It allows us to:
Put things in order
Right wrongs
Make long overdue apologies
Write that book
Travel to dreamed of countries
Propose marriage to the beloved one
Leave the loathed but apparently safe job
Start the vocational business
Create the bucket list
Take some chances
We start again to think freely, creatively, expansively and without limitations; the way we
did when we were children.
So Buddhists love meditating on the concept of death because it teaches so much about
how we can live a happier and more meaningful life.
Other Ways to Be Mindful
Bathing the body Create the intention to become totally one with the process of
cleansing yourself.
Close your eyes and be aware of the feeling as water first touches your body as you determine
what is to be the correct temperature. Pay attention to how the water feels as it courses
down your body, the sensation of touch and observation of the movements of your hands,
the feeling when you use soap, gel and shampoo.

47
Try to slow down the process of bathing so you can become aware of all the sensations
involved. Try to break the habit of bathing and become more aware of the intention of bathing.
Observe your intention in the process of taking a towel and drying yourself. Keep your
attention on the movements you use, the sensations and any thoughts that arise.
Eating with intent Bringing mindfulness to eating can help enrich your relationship
with food.
Eating with eyes closed enhances the taste of food and allows us awareness of every aspect
of the mastication process in the mouth.
When you first sit down to eat, give thanks.
Then really look at the food in front of you.
Take in the colors and shapes of what is on your plate; become a grateful observer.
Breathe in and smell the aromas.
Spend a few moments thinking about everything that went into producing this food.
Think about the people who grew the food, the country it came from, the
weather it needed to help it grow, the earth and water needed to sustain it.
Spend a moment thinking of where you bought or obtained the food in front of
you and sense the connection between you and all of this.
Then, slowly, take your first bite.
Listening with intent Talking on the phone with eyes closed focusses on not only the words
spoken but, with practice, allows us to tune in to the often deeper meanings behind them.
Journaling Daily writing helps us consolidate our current thoughts and keeps us on track.
Practicing yoga, tai chi, chi kung Slow, controlled movements connect us to our breath
and can be practiced by people of any age.
Cleaning the floor While becoming more conscious of both the micros and macros of
life, there is no better way to develop humility than by getting down on hands and knees
and brushing or scrubbing a floor.
Walking or running Being outside in nature is best if possible, away from the distractions
of traffic, noise and fumes, or by using a running machine. But wearing earplugs will assist
in keeping your awareness focused on every movement of the body and every inhalation
and exhalation.

48
Driving How many times have you arrived at your destination and not remembered
getting there? It is something we have all done, subconsciously, not counting whether we
have had one drink too many in an unwise moment The realization that we can drive a
car while not being 100% consciously present is scary.
The journey might appear the same as a hundred other times, but is clearly a totally different
experience each time. For this, driving a car is probably the one time that everyone agrees
on the importance of being as present in the moment as possible.
It goes without saying to make a mental note to be and remain present from the moment
you turn on the ignition to the moment you turn it off.
Giving generously with no desire for an outcome Mindful people never lose an
opportunity to be generous, practicing giving at every opportunity. Many think they need
to know where their donation is going and what it is going to be spent on. In fact, this is
more judgmental than we realize. It is not actually our business how the recipient decides
to use the money once we have handed it over. The mindful act is in the giving.
It is in giving that we receive.
~ Saint Francis
Giving from the heart, with no interest in what the money will be spent on, is trusting
that a higher power than us knows exactly the best way it will be spent.
Even if the money is spent on drugs or alcohol rather than on food, it is none of our business.
Once we have handed the gift over, as a gesture from the heart, it is good practice simply to
let it go, knowing we have kept out part of the deal as being an empathetic human being.
Serving others There is a saying, To serve is to rule. We should not confuse service
with servitude, which, to the egos defensive, is demeaning.
To be able to be of genuine service allows us to feel that our energy and efforts make a
difference in the world. At our deepest level, we want to serve without expectation, without
wanting anything in return, just to connect with another person, to serve in the grandest way.

49
Receiving with grace Some people do not have the capacity to receive the good that
can come into their lives. They end up becoming martyrs or burning themselves out. They
give but they never replenish themselves by being available to whatever can express itself
through their receptivity.
It can sometimes be easier for us to leave our comfort zones to do something good for
people who desperately need it. But, by letting in good in the form of compliments,
positive statements and appreciation, we open our hearts.
To surrender ourselves enough to be able to receive from those around us is one of the
most important and healing actions that we can perform.
A complete person is an individual who gives with ease and grace. Someone who gives and
shares their gifts, time and talents while at the same time being in tune with the fundamental
order of existence, is being completely receptive to this flow of energy through them.
A mindful person can receive love, intuitive messages, wisdom and guidance from the beauty
that is everywhere. So, as there is a complete cycle, ultimately giving and receiving are one.
Apologizing to someone we have wronged This action makes us a bigger person, opens
our consciousness up exponentially and allows us some healing. Regardless of the outcome
of the action of apologizing, if it is done sincerely and from the heart, only good can ever
come of it.
Trusting your intuition Check your ego at the door and check your gut instead. Every
right decision I have ever made has come from my gut. Every wrong decision Ive made
was the result of me not listening to the greater voice of myself. ~ Oprah Winfrey
Painting like Picasso If you have never watched Paul Haesaerts 1950 movie Picasso
Painting on Glass [17] then you are in for a treat. Picasso paints directly onto vertical glass
sheets with the camera rolling on the other side of the glass. We see the extraordinary focus
that he puts into just being in the moment.
Learning something new Giving our full attention to learning a new skill, the more
complex the better, keeps us anchored firmly in the present for fear of missing a vital piece
of information.

50
Sharing your passion or hobby with others Giving talks, slide shows and presentations
on a common theme can be exhilarating for us and fascinating for those in the audience.
To be in the presence of someone who is so totally tuned in to their subject that time
seems to stand still is a pure gift.
Playing sport, listening to music, writing, making love, etc. Basically, no matter what
you are doing, the key to mindfulness is to keep yourself present in the experience.
Our brains are hard-wired to think, worry, predict, remember, plan and regret. Mindfulness
simply allows us to move away from these mental habits.
But we often need some support in this practice. Once the commitment is made to lead a
more meaningful life, there are a multitude of books, courses and seminars available, locally
and online, at the touch of a search button.
Also, like-minded friends and Life Coaches can help steer a positive course through new
thought patterns to create clarity of focus.

51
How Does Mindfulness Affect Those Around Me?
5 HOW DOES MINDFULNESS

AFFECT THOSE AROUND ME?
People are at their most mindful when they are at play. If we find ways of enjoying our
work, blurring the lines between work and play, the gains (for everyone) will be greater.
~ Ellen Langer
5.1 WE ARE ALL ONE

Most people question their place and purpose in the world from time to time. Generally it
is when times are tough that we send a plea up to the heavens, Help! Whats it all about?
If we are patient enough to listen for an answer, we might hear something like to do
good or to be kind. Often we pick up that we are here to learn something, as if we were
children in school.
But, depending on our viewpoint of the world and the conclusions we come to about it,
we might hear back an answer like to have experiences or to experience what it is to be
a spirit living a human existence on earth.
This brings us then to the inevitable question, what is the point of existence?
Whats It All About?
Of course, nobody knows, although many people have plenty of views and theories. One
view, and leaving aside religious dogma, is that we humans are here on earth simply to
fulfill our soul destiny, based on agreements made on an unknown level, in an unknown
time, and that we have largely forgotten.
The holistic viewpoint informs us that, logically, we are part of a continuum connected not
only to our fellow human beings and the whole planet and everything living on it, but also
that the planet is a sustainable intelligent organism, named Gaia by the Ancient Greeks and
studied in detail by James Lovelock [18].

52
Quantum Physics teaches us that this connection functions inside the invisible energy
surrounding and permeating each one of us, through what is called The Zero Point Field
or, simply, The Field as written about so clearly by Lynn McTaggart [19]. It means that
if we all share the same invisible energy space, then our actions must impact on everyone
and every living thing around us, and vice versa.
But what about our thoughtsdo they have an impact on others too? There are many case
studies that show that they do.
5.2 THE COOKED RICE EXPERIMENT

A test called the Cooked Rice Experiment [20] might just illustrate what happens to those
around us when we think either positive or negative thoughts.
13 small jars were labelled AM and filled with water-cooked white rice. A selection of
words and phrases some positive, some negative, some neutral were written on each jar.
For the duration of a week, focused attention was directed at each jar individually, according
to a combination of positive and negative thoughts and spoken words, using angry and sweet
tones, some of which contradicted each other. One jar was completely ignored and neglected.
After one week, the rice in the jars that had received negative thoughts and had been spoken
to in angry tones, regardless of what had been written on them, showed signs of decay to
varying degrees.
The rice in the jars that had been thought of and spoken to gently, regardless of what had
been written on them, showed little or no signs of decay.
The rice in the jar that was completely ignored and neglected decayed.
We can imagine that positive and negative thinking has a major impact on us and our
surrounding environment; this concept is relatively easy to grasp. But the extremely tangible
evidence of it in this experiment is astounding.
Do Unto Others.
The average human body consists of 60% water. If the negative words and thoughts that come
out of us have this effect on water-cooked rice, it is amazing and quite terrifying to think
of what effect they could have on us and the people and events that come into our lives.

53
Our thoughts are an extension of our mind (the software). We believe our thoughts pass
through the wiring of our brain (the hardware). We have both conscious and unconscious
thoughts but we are only aware of and in charge of our conscious thoughts.
As mentioned at the beginning of this book, our unconscious thoughts tend to be a backlash
from our past experiences and conditioning such as childhood or adolescence, or programming
from our parents, school teachers, religious doctrines, cultural patterns and habits.
Because these unconscious thoughts are basically programming, we are usually unaware of
them until there is a need to address or study them; not to mention the outcome of them.
Once we can do this, it is as if we suddenly see the light, the curtains part, our eyes
are opened.
When we follow this to its natural conclusion, we can no longer not be aware of the impact
our thoughts have on others, and the potential power of these thoughts in relation to them.

54
When we speak badly to others, we can often see the immediate impact of our words. We
can unknowingly crush peoples sensitivities especially childrens the impact of which
might not show up until many years later.
We believe our thoughts are private well, we like to think they are, anyway
The Monkey Mind never likes to give up.
Monkey Mind movement is haphazard and chaotic. If someone could read our minds
and what we are thinking, it would look like the out-of-context ravings of a mad person,
jumping from one thought to another, often with no clear or logical pathways.
This lack of clear thinking can be very damaging to not just ourselves but also to others.
When we consciously think bad thoughts about someone, we have to take responsibility
for the outcome. But what if our negative thoughts are unconscious do we still need to
take responsibility for them and their outcome? After all, we cannot really change what we
are not aware of, can we?

55
If we truly care about others, knowing and believing they are an energetic extension of
ourselves, then we must logically care about what they might be suffering as a result of our
thoughts or actions.
5.3 EVERYONE JUST WANTS TO BE HAPPY

Mindfulness is the tool that can bring us back to sanity.
Mindfulness brings us fully into the present moment. By focusing only on what is in front
of us, we can train our Monkey Mind to relax, calm down and behave. If we then choose
to have negative thoughts about a person or situation, we then have to consciously take
responsibility for their outcome.
The longer we spend focusing on this concept, the more we realize that what we wish for
others must also have a backlash effect on ourselves, as we are, in effect, of one energy.
This in turn helps us to be as compassionate towards others as we would be to ourselves.
We can more easily put ourselves in others shoes, understand that all perpetrators have
at some time been victims themselves, and that their Monkey Minds are probably ruling
their thoughts and actions and running amok too.
The one common denominator among all people is the desire to be happy. Some people
believe that they always have to be in control to be happy, or to have the upper hand, or
to win competitively. Insecure people feel empowered when they put others down, belittle
and bully them.
These sad people are the results of their own upbringing and are basically living in a
permanent state of fear. If they should lose their money and position, they fear they would
have nothing because they are living either in the past or the future but not the present.
When we live in the present, we give thanks for everything we have right now in front of
us; a roof over our heads, clean water, warm clothes and food in our stomachs.
What Really Constitutes Success?
Many people believe that only money and success can bring happiness.
As soon as we worry that we might lose something, we are living in a fearful future and
treating others as if they are the enemy.

56
Why does corporate culture insist on employees working long and antisocial hours with
little or no reward other than to keep their job? Why are employees frowned upon if they
start to think outside the box? Why does no-one feel free or safe to independently express
themselves or voice their feelings, speak from the heart or defend their integrity?
The fear of loss is a strong motivator to maintain the status quo.
Loss weakens us, lack of recognition frustrates us, not feeling validated or respected reduces
us, lowers our immune system, impacts the body and mind negatively, causes stress and
creates sickness. This is what mind-less-ness does to us.
We feel we are at the mercy of other peoples minds and actions, their whims and fears.
This in turn sends us into a tailspin of mindlessness. For sanitys sake, someone somewhere
has to shout Stop!
It may be the victim who sees the light and starts bringing the mind into the present
moment in a regular, conscious way; maybe because nothing else is working. Or it might
be the perpetrator, who possibly does not even realize how they impose their will on others,
who has a flash of understanding of the devastation of their actions.
Ultimately, it makes no difference as long as someone gets the ball rolling. Someone has to be
brave enough to stand up and say, I choose not to behave or respond like this any longer.
As some wise person once said:
Simply live in the present, while keeping one eye on the future.
~ Anon

57
Summary
SUMMARY AND A PERSONAL

NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR
Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness.
Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance
of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits
oneself, then Providence moves too.
All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole
stream of events issues from the decision, raising in ones favor all manner of unforeseen
incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would
have come his way.
Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius, magic and power in it. Begin it now.
~ Goethe
An Unexpected Lesson
Writing this book has been a very personal journey.
During the compilation of it, due to circumstances beyond my control and nothing to do
with the writing of it, my body developed the very painful viral condition of Herpes Zosta,
better known as Shingles.
Herpes Zosta is a virus that lays dormant in the body until a situation of extreme stress
triggers it and causes it to flare up. It attacks the nerve endings and their connections to
the muscles and skin, which creates extreme pain in whichever part of the body is affected.
If the virus gets into the ears or eyes and left untreated it can cause permanent loss of
hearing or eyesight. Treated too late it can be a very serious health threat.
In my sick and sorry condition, I attempted to be a mindful observer of the illness.
In general, I prefer not to take pharmaceutical drugs, but this time I was grateful for them
to help deal with the virus and pain. I found it interesting and surprising that sleep and
the heavy duty medications I was taking relaxed me totally.
Consequently, the unacceptable situation I had been experiencing that caused the onset of
the virus, felt less threatening and stressful.

58
and a Personal Note from the Author
Suddenly, the machine that had been permanently placed outside the apartment 24/7 by
an uncaring landlord, making so much noise and continuously disturbing my sleep every
night, just stopped. From my relaxed observer perspective, it seemed as if the machine was
reacting to me and not the other way round.
Of course, it had been switched off by somebody, but it happened exactly in a moment that
I badly needed some respite. I felt that somebody had picked up on my more relaxed energy
projection and responded to it positively.
From that moment, I started to recover. For me, it was a clear example and much needed
reminder that what we put out in life, mostly subconsciously but occasionally consciously
mindfully is what we get back.
A Reframe Is Needed
In general, people dont like change; especially when its out of their control.
Therefore we have a tendency to kick and fight against it while too often paying lip service
to the idea of being spontaneous and going with the flow. Were not always truthful, even
to ourselves, and our sense of pride can blow everything out of proportion.
We humans tend to fear the unknown,which can easily make us feel stressed. What if this
should happen? What if things start going like that? What will I do when..? How will
I cope if? Etc
This mindset of living in a fearful potential future, projecting our fears forward in this
way,is quite mind-less when you think about it.
The future could go one of many ways in fact. Based on our past experiences, fear all too
often kicks in and we start to feel stressed, as if the terrible thing were envisaging has
already happened.
Since energy follows thought, we start sending out energetic signals that were expecting the
worst, so then the universe obliges and gives us what we most dread.
If, on the other hand, we could manage to keep our thoughts anchored in the present
moment and avoid being dragged along with a crowd that is also reacting fearfully (think
mass employee redundancy, for example), wed find ourselves able to act positively instead
of reacting negatively.

59
We could then set up situations that would please us and which in turn would bring out
the best in other people, thereby impacting their lives in a positive way too.
This is mindfulness in action.
A Different Way of Living
Its said we teach what we have to learn. Having been a Transformational Life Coach and
Counsellor for many years, Ive seen what the effects of stress can do to the mind, body
and emotions of many of my clients.
Having also been a sufferer since childhood of PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) in
the form of depression and social anxiety, I know firsthand how debilitating and impactful
stress can be.
We humans are all works in progress. Its said that if we are still here, alive on earth, weve
not finished learning and experiencing all that we came here to do.
Judging others is never helpful or useful either; we all have our challenges and mostly have
no idea what others have been through in their lives, let alone what they came into this
life to do or achieve themselves.
It helps everyone if we can take a holistic stance when viewing any stressful situation.
Growing evidence shows that what we think about and focus on is what we find out
there in our lives. A book and 6-part documentary: The Brain by David Eagleman [21]
shows that everything we think is out there is in fact coming from what is inside each of
us individually.
It pays to take a mindful look at the challenging situations we often find ourselves in, and
take a step back and honestly ask ourselves:
How
How
How
How
did I contribute to the experience of this situation?

was I not paying attention as it developed?
can I change this situation by changing my attitude to it?
did I allow this situation to escalate to such a level?

60
Using mindfulness as our yard-stick, well find that the answers are usually, if not always,
along the lines of:
Fear of change.
Inflexibility of our attitude.
Recalling a similar past situation and automatically reacting in the same way
now as then.
Placing blame on others.
Our mind being permanently distracted.
We need to accept past experiences but see them as just that, i.e. in the past and simply
experiences had, learned about and moved on from.
We need to drop our pride and ask for help or advice. This can be one of the most difficult
things to do. We hate to look foolish, want to be right and dont want to be seen to back
down. We want to feel vindicated.
But then, if we can humbly bring ourselves back to the idea that on some level we
contributed to a situation, this will enable us to take responsibility for it, and that is where
empowerment lies.
Practicing mindfulness helps to overcome feelings of powerlessness and impotency.
Choosing to Take Responsibility
I have a couple of friends who I know to be some of the funniest, kindest, nicest people
you could wish to meet. Their social media posts are usually fun and amusing to read, often
intelligently informed, and their close friends are clearly devoted to them.
Their posts, however, are often trivial and negative, with victim written all over them.
They tend to consist of what other people have done to them that day,how stupid some bosses
and co-workers are,not to mention ex-partners,traveling commuters and shop assistants
Even blaming the weather for whats going wrong in their lives.
If thats not mindlessness, then I dont know what is. It reminds me of the Fawlty Towers
sketch [22] where Basil Fawlty uses a huge branch to beat up his car for breaking down, all
the while shouting, Im going to give you a damn good thrashing! i.e. punishing his car.

61
My friends social media posts make painful reading and I often feel like saying to them,
For goodness sake, cant you take some responsibility for the bits of your life you dont
like? Youre sounding like a perfect victim. Interestingly, though, theyre quick to take
responsibility for the bits of their lives they do like!
Mindfulness not only helps us overcome stress, anger and dependency, but also prevents us
holding ourselves in victim mode.
Victim No More
But what of people we see on the news from around the world, suffering on a daily basis?
Those who are disenfranchised, helpless,vulnerable?
While obviously not wishing to minimize their tragic situations in any way, we can see that
even in extreme circumstances some people hold themselves together with grace and dignity.
They philosophically accept what is, while constantly trying to change and improve theirlot.
It can be extremely difficult to maintain a sense of proportion and balance when we are
exhausted, sick, hungry, poor, overloaded and bullied. But it pays to ask ourselves: How
can some do it while others cannot? How do some survive while others go under?
Of course, we all have different characters and strengths of personality, but we also have
access to our imaginations. Nothing can be achieved without first imagining that it can be so.
Some people manage to extricate themselves from some of the direst circumstances imaginable.
Others find a way to cope with years of imprisonment and still come out ready to get back
into the fray and be a positive and useful member of society.
What makes them able to do this? The power of the mind.
In Conclusion
Working towards mindfulness can seem like a daunting task if youve never paid attention
to the concept before. After reading this book, however, you should now have a good sense
of what you could be doing to decrease your levels of harmful stress and increase your levels
of happiness.
Theres something here for everyone to make a start on.

62
Whichever exercise or method you choose, youll find theres a good chance your life will
improve exponentially because of your efforts.
The concept of mindfulness challenges many of our beliefs, such as religious, educational
and societal ones.
It challenges us to step outside our comfort zones and go further; to take responsibility for
everything that appears in our lives. Not because were to blame for causing everything,
but because our mind has either subconsciously created situations that weve projected into
our lives or allowed them to happen.
This can be a difficult pill to swallow for a lot of people, who would say Why would I
create boredom, hopelessness, pain, depression, anxiety, ill health, insecurity, etc. in my life?
But its important to remember that most of what we create is through the subconscious
aspect of our mind. Were mostly not even aware of what were manifesting with our negative
thought forms and patterns.
But, just because were not aware, it doesnt mean that our unconscious thoughts are not
controlling our lives. Remember the analogy of the operating system of a computer in the
first chapter?
And the Good News Is!
If all this seems hopeless and out of our control, the good news is that the opposite is
the case!

63
Once we wake up consciously and realize that we can control our minds, we understand
we can control our lives. We can write our own scripts, set our own course, create our own
path. But, to do this, we need to practice being mindful, keeping ourselves in the present
moment, focused and relaxed.
We also need to be patient and kind to ourselves and understand that we probably have to
overcome years and years of conditioning by society.
Our practical and familial responsibilities wont go away but, as we become more aware,
we find that new ways of working with them open up. New opportunities appear and
synchronicities abound. As our conscious minds start to clear, we begin to perceive the
world differently.
What appeared before as limitations, now present themselves as exciting challenges.
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64
For example:
An exhausted small business owner realizes he can take his children out of regular
school and move across the world to Bali. With some new ideas borne from
newfound clarity, he works online from there and gives his children a different
kind of education.
The parents that feel ground-down by inner city living take a sabbatical, rent out
the family house, buy a boat and sail round the world with their children. They
have many unexpected but hugely character-building experiences on the way.
Their two young daughters write a daily journal of their sea-faring experiences
and turn them into a childrens novel on their return.
A 45 year old woman uproots herself from a long-term but fruitless relationship,
moves from her home country and everything familiar. She learns how to Teach
English as a Foreign Language and starts a whole new chapter in her life in Spain.
Just about anything we can imagine and dream about, we can achieve. We just need the
right mindset, which is borne from clear thinking and focus, which in turn comes as a
result of practicing mindfulness.
Remember, theres a new opportunity in every unwanted situation.
To practice mindfulness, we need to learn to become an observer rather than a reactor, a
student rather than a know-it-all, to stand back and watch instead of getting caught up in
the drama.
Dont take my word for anything, but do try the exercises and find out for yourself.
Be patient, keep positive towards the outcome you want and, little by little, things in your
life will improve. I promise.
Namaste,

65
Come to the edge, he said. They said: We are afraid. Come to the
edge, he said. They came. He pushed themand they flew.
~ Guillaume Apollinaire
Risk
To laugh is to risk appearing the fool.
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach out for another is to risk involvement.
To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self.
To place your true ideas, your dreams before a crowd, is to risk their loss.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To live is to risk dying. To hope is to risk despair.
To try is to risk failure.
But risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
People who risk nothing, do nothing, are nothing.
They may avoid suffering and sorrow,
But they cannot learn, feel, grow, change, love, live.
Chained by their attitudes, they are slaves.
They have forfeited their freedom.
Only the person who risks is free.
~ Anon

66
Biography
BIOGRAPHY
For over 30 years, Jean Gilhead has been deeply involved in personal development, life
coaching and presentation skills training. Originally from Richmond, near London, her
vocational work in the fields of Transformational Life Coaching, Energy Healing, and Feng
Shui has placed her in both the corporate business and private practice world.
Over the years, Jean has helped many people make the transition from living the life they
believed they were stuck with to one that fills them with energy, joy and inspiration. Teaching
mindfulness techniques to clients and students is her passion.
An active member of the College of Psychic Studies whilst living in London, Jean studied
subtle energy practices and taught psychic development. Having also studied Tibetan
Buddhism for many years, Jean now follows no formal religion, preferring to empower
herself by connecting to her innate higher wisdom her intuition.
Jean started her working life in the world of advertising (BBD&O, Young & Rubicam) and
design (Kingcome Interior Design) in London. Later she studied intuitive feng shui with
Master William Spear, and for many years ran a successful feng shui design practice Jean
Gilhead Associates. She incorporated feng shui into all her design work, harmonizing and
balancing both work and living environments.
In London, she also ran an image consultancy Jean Gilhead Consultants where she
advised individuals and companies on all aspects of presentation. On request, she put
together and ran courses on self-improvement and confidence building for employees and
outplacements in the recession of the 1980s. This morphed into giving talks and seminars
all around England. Over the years, she has trained people from many different walks of life.
A self-taught writer, Jean has published coaching articles, such as From Confusion to
Clarity [23] and e-guides, Ignite your Love-life! and Pump Up your Prosperity! [24].
She has written a novella, Living in Bright Shadows [25] which has also been translated
into Spanish as Vivir en Sombras Luminosas. Also, a Feng Shui for Beginners e-course
[26] and, after many years teaching others how to present their ideas to an audience, her
Public Speaking e-course [27] has become available. Jeans many years living and working in
Barcelona have also enabled her to carve out a niche as a Business English Language trainer
for company executives [28], a function she still carries out, both in person and online.

67
Biography
Growing up within a dysfunctional family gave way to early depression and ongoing PTSD
(post-traumatic stress disorder) issues, but Jean is a person who is always moving forward,
living in the moment and not dwelling on the past. Married and divorced in her 20s, at the
age of 38 she suffered a life-changing accident which left her unable to work or walk for
over a year. At the age of 45 and after recovering from the debilitating, stress-related illness
of M.E. which lasted for over 2 years, she left the UK to start a new life in Barcelona a
long-held dream and officially qualified as a life coach.
Living by the Mediterranean had been a vision held since childhood, so her move to Spain
manifested a whole new chapter in her life. The healing journey back to her true self,
combined with multifaceted skills and life-coach training, has enabled Jean to create systems
for other people to realize their dreams [29]. Still happily living in Spain, she now divides
her time between Marbella, Barcelona and London.
Jean also runs courses on structuring personal and business presentations for individuals and
companies, and designs and redesigns spaces for private and corporate clients using feng
shui principles. She continues to inspire and motivate clients all over the world with her
coaching and self-help tools, using them to draw out individual potential while enabling
people to re-discover their own personal power.
Jeans life ethos is based on working with a strong intuitive element and connection to her
innate wisdom. She has travelled and experienced the culture of many countries and enjoys
change and the endless possibilities it brings.
Constantly learning and expanding her range of skills, Jean is currently studying Clinical
Hypnotherapy with a view to adding it to her holistic toolbox to further serve her clients.
Jean can be contacted through her website: www.jeangilhead.com

68
References
REFERENCES
1. Center for Mindfulness http://www.umassmed.edu/cfm/
2. Mindfulness by Dr. Ellen J. Langer
3. Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman
4. The Quality of Working Life 2016 Chartered Management Institute http://
www.managers.org.uk/insights/research/current-research/2016/january/quality-ofworking-life
5. Online chatting at work gets the thumbs up from bosses http://www.bbc.com/
news/business-34911118
6. University Pennsylvania http://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_
id=2204126
7. Revolutionary Road https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lzg8GdGgy-0
8. Dr. Rich Blonna http://www.drrichblonna.com
9. The Ups and Downs of Cortisol: What You Need to Know by Vanessa
Bennington http://breakingmuscle.com/health-medicine/the-ups-and-downs-ofcortisol-what-you-need-to-know
10. What is M.E/CFS? http://www.meassociation.org.uk/about/what-is-mecfs/
11. Healthy Lifestyle/Stress Management http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/
stress-management/basics/stress-basics/hlv-20049495
12. How Couples Can Help Each Other De-Stress and Improve Their Relationship
by Judy Ford http://psychcentral.com/lib/how-couples-can-help-each-other-destress-and-improve-their-relationship/
13. Cancer Fighting Strategies http://www.cancerfightingstrategies.com/immunesystem-and-cancer.html
14. The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying by Bonnie Ware
15. The Gratitude Effect by Dr. John Demartini
16. Transcendental Meditation https://www.tm.org/
17. Picasso Painting on Glass http://www.openculture.com/2010/02/picasso_
painting_on_glass.html
18. What is Gaia? By James Lovelock http://ecolo.org/lovelock/what_is_Gaia.html
19. The Field by Lynn McTaggart http://www.lynnemctaggart.com/the-books
20. The Cooked Rice Experiment http://organicuprising.com/the-rice-experiment/
21. The Brain With David Eagleman What Is Reality? https://ed.ted.com/on/
fCo9kNx7
22. Basil Attacks His Car Fawlty Towers https://www.youtube.com/
watch?v=78b67l_yxUc

69
References
23. From Confusion to Clarity Through Transpersonal Life Coaching by Jean

Gilhead Issue #12. P.54. www.international-coaching-news.net/magazine/
24. Ignite Your Love Life and Pump up Your Prosperity by Jean Gilhead http://
jeangilhead.com/feng-shui-e-books/
25. Living in Bright Shadows by Jean Gilhead http://amzn.to/2aGaweM
26. Feng Shui for Beginners e-course http://jeangilhead.com/feng-shui-for-beginnerse-course/
27. Public Speaking e-course http://jeangilhead.com/communication-skills-publicspeaking/
28. Business English Language Work https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeangilhead
29. Transformational Life Coaching and Counseling http://jeangilhead.com

70

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