You are on page 1of 20

"A Beautiful Example": The Prophet Muammad as a Model for Muslim Husbands

Author(s): KECIA ALI


Reviewed work(s):
Source: Islamic Studies, Vol. 43, No. 2 (Summer 2004), pp. 273-291
Published by: Islamic Research Institute, International Islamic University, Islamabad
Stable URL: http://www.jstor.org/stable/20837344 .
Accessed: 08/11/2011 17:52
Your use of the JSTOR archive indicates your acceptance of the Terms & Conditions of Use, available at .
http://www.jstor.org/page/info/about/policies/terms.jsp
JSTOR is a not-for-profit service that helps scholars, researchers, and students discover, use, and build upon a wide range of
content in a trusted digital archive. We use information technology and tools to increase productivity and facilitate new forms
of scholarship. For more information about JSTOR, please contact support@jstor.org.

Islamic Research Institute, International Islamic University, Islamabad is collaborating with JSTOR to
digitize, preserve and extend access to Islamic Studies.

http://www.jstor.org

Islamic Studies 43:2 (2004) pp. 273-291

Viewpoint
"A Beautiful Example5': The Prophet Muhammad
Model forMuslim Husbands1

as a

KECIA ALI

Since the earliestMuslim societywas founded atMedina, themarital Ufeof the


? his
Prophet (peace be on him)
multiple wives, the shiftingalliances they
? has been
sustained, and the conflictsamong thewomen of his household
subject to comment and controversy,both within and outside theMuslim
community.Historically, non-Muslim criticismsfocusedon thenumber of his
wives.2More recent attacksupon theProphet (peace be on him) have tended
to focus on hismarriage to '?'ishah aswell as his relationshipwith M?riyyah,
the enslaved concubine whom he freed after she bore him Ibrahim.3The
numerous marriages of the Prophet (peace be on him), his ownership of a
to a young
no
and his marriage
girl raised
feelings of anxiety among
as
normal facets of social life.
pre-modern Muslims, who accepted these actions
concubine

However, in large part because of the influenceof non-Muslim criticismsof


themarital Ufeof theProphet (peace be on him),Muslims today have, by and
1
This paper, which formspart of an ongoing researchproject on the Prophet's marriages,was
firstpresented at the Critical Islamic Reflections Conference, Yale University, April 2003. I
would like to thank the conference organizing committee, especiallyMahan Mirza, for that

opportunity. Dr Marcia Hermansen provided a cogent and thoughtful response to my


presentation. Since then,Mahan Mirza, Dr JamillahKarim and Dr Zafar Ishaq Ansari have
challenged me to refinemy argument and rethink some of its presuppositions.While their
advice has been insightful,I have not always heeded it, and I alone bear responsibility for the
correctnessofmy informationand interpretations.
2
On these accusations, and non-Muslim reactions to the Prophet
(peace be on him) more
generally, seeMinou Reeves, Muhammad inEurope: A Thousand Years ofWesternMyth-Making
(New York: New York University Press, 2001), 215-16, 236-40; Norman Daniel, Islam and the
West: TheMaking ofan Image (Edinburgh:
EdinburghUniversity Press, 1962), 87-91; andMartin
Forward,Muhammad: A ShortBiography (Oxford:Oneworld Publications, 1997), 83-6.
3
On M?riyyah, seeMuhammad Ibn Sa'd, trans.Aisha
Bewley, TheWomen ofMadina (London:
Ta-Ha Publishers, 1995), 148-51.

KECIAALI

274

large,not been able to develop a uniform approach to his example. Rather,


they alternatebetween praise, apologetics, and silence.Non-Muslim polemics
against theProphet (peace be on him) have putMuslims on thedefensivewith
regard to hostile accusations of lust, child-marriage, and slave-holding.
it is too simple to reduce contemporary Muslims'
angst over these
issues to "westoxication."
Rather, profound social changes have occurred that

However,

make it reasonable forMuslims to ask:what does the example of theProphet


(peace be on him)mean in today's society?
This essay addressesboth early and contemporaryMuslim approaches to
the actions of the Prophet (peace be on him) in his personal relationships,
suggestingways for overcoming the obstacles that have led to the lack of a
thorough, critical, and faithfulengagementwith the Prophetic example in
contemporaryMuslim discussions ofmarriage. In the process, the paper also
raises largerquestions about themeaning of the sunnahof theProphet (peace
be on him) and the distinction between sunnah and hadithywhich plays a

significantrole in early Islamic jurisprudence.


Traditional Muslim sources? fiqhy tafs?r,strah,hadith? do not avoid
discussion of the above-mentionedmatters in the lifeof theProphet (peace be
on him). In fact, they recount disputes between thewives of theProphet as
well as some ordinary details about his interactionswith them, even in
intimate matters

such as how

he performed

ablution

after intercourse.

It may

seem odd for the private lifeof themost reveredpersonality in Islam to be


What explains this is the fact that, in addition to
subjected to such scrutiny.
a
was
theMessenger ofGod, whom theQur'?n (33: 21)
being human being,he
refers to as "uswah hasanab"y

His

a beautiful model

for emulation

by the believers.

sunnah, or model practice, is understood to provide guidance for other

Muslims.

While the Prophet (peace be on him) is exemplary as such, theQur'?n


also declares that, in certainmatters relating to his wives, he is exempt from
the requirements governing other believers, and is also subject to unique
duties.For example, he is permittedtomarrymore than fourwomen, hemay
marry a woman who "givesherself" to him, andmay "set aside" the turnof

anywife of his thathe wishes (Qur'?n 33: 50-51). In these respectshe is free
from legal constraintsthatgovern the conduct of otherMuslim males, limiting
the permissible number of wives at any given time and emphasizing the
necessity of doing justice between them by equally dividing the time spent
with them.On the other hand, theProphet (peace be on him) is ordered by
theQur'?n to give his wives a choice between remainingwith him or
being
divorced. Further, he is forbidden tomarry additionalwives or exchange his
currentwives fornew ones (Qur'?n 33: 28-9, 52). In these respects,hismarital

"A BEAUTIFUL

EXAMPLE":

THE PROPHET MUHAMMAD

AS A MODEL

FOR MUSLIM

HUSBANDS

275

prerogatives are restrictedinways that those of otherMuslim husbands are


not.

Muslim jurists? thefuqaha* ? have always recognized this tension


between the exemplary and the exceptional in themarital lifeof theProphet
(peace be on him). They mention thiswhile discussing the relevance of his
personal actions to the regulationsgoverning the behaviour of otherMuslim
men. Yet, while thefuqaha* largelyagree on what the Prophet (peace be on
him) did on any given occasion, they frequentlydiffer as to whether a
?
that is, other believers are permitted,
particular action is exemplary
?
encouraged, or obligated to follow it or exceptional,meaning an action not
intendedforemulation by themembers of the community.4
My firstobjective in this essay is to discuss the varyingways that early
jurists draw on the Prophet's conduct in their efforts to determine the
appropriate rules to apply to themarriages of other believers.5They do not
attempt to draw a broad model of his behaviour as the norm, but do look to
specific instancesof his actions in order to develop and support their legal
argumentswith respectto specificsof conduct.
Having looked at theway theProphet's marriages are discussed in early
legal texts, I will next consider how his personal life is treated in
contemporaryMuslim discussions ofmarriage. On thewhole, and in sharp

contrast

to traditional

jurisprudence,

surprisingly

little attention

is paid

to the

marital conduct of the Prophet (peace be on him) today.This is true for the
various groups across the political and religious spectrum, from ultra
conservative juristssuch as 'Abd al-*Aziz ibnB?z and otherswho comprise the
officialSaudi Fatw? Council,6 tomoderates and apologistswho author esszys
4
Those of the Prophet's actions that are exceptional can be either permissible to follow or
impermissible to follow. For example, no man aside from the Prophet (peace be on him) is
permitted to have more than fourwives at one time, according to the agreed-upon rule of the
jurists.The words ofQur'an 33: 50 are taken tomean that it is forbidden for others to follow
this particular act of the Prophet, viz. his having more than fourwives at one time.On the
other hand, the Prophet (peace be on him) is forbidden inQuran 33: 52 to takemore wives or
exchange those he has for others. This ruling is not binding on any other man, and is thus
exceptional to the Prophet (peace be on him). However, it is not forbidden for anotherman to
refrainfrom increasinghis number ofwives or to abstain fromdivorcing his currentwives and

marrying others in their place. In this sense,while the ruling is exceptional to the Prophet
(peace be on him), it is permitted and perhaps even laudable forothermen to follow it.
5
Because it is the body offiqh with which I ammost familiar,this essay draws primarilyon the
jurisprudentialliteratureof the formativeperiod. By formativeperiod Imean the timebetween
the firstlegal authorities of theHij?z and the establishmentof the classical schools in the early
4th/10th century, thus approximately 150-300/775-925. It is pertinent to point out that I am
drawing on the substantive
fiqh literature,not the theoreticalgenre of usui alfiqh.
6
On this group, seeKhaled Abou El Fadl, Speaking inGod's Name: Islamic Law,
Authority,and
Women (Oxford:Oneworld Publications, 2001). A group offatw?s
this
council has
compiled by

KECIAAU

276

and pamphlets such as those found inAmerican mosques and on "mainstream"


While the first
Muslim websites, to academic and activistMuslim feminists.7
use
two groups make extensive, though quite selective,
of statements
on
most
to
be
Muslim
feminists
have
the
attributed
him),
Prophet (peace
generally ignored the hadith literature,and have focused exclusively on
reinterpreting

the Qur'?n.8

One basis for the differencesin approach between these groups has been
their inabilityto see eye-to-eyeon ah?dith that speak ofwomen as inferiorto
women's
men, including several relating tomarriage such as those affirming
duty to obey theirhusbands and linkingwomen's entry into paradise to the
pleasure or displeasure of theirhusbands.9 These sayings attributed to the
Prophet (peace be on him) appear relatively rarely in traditional legal
literature,though they do frequentlyoccur in exegeses of relevantQur'?nic

verses (especially4: 34 and 4: 128).Today, such ah?dith are repeated frequently


by the ultra-conservativesand ignored by the apologists. They are mainly
when they take up the subject of hadith at all, to
quoted byMuslim feminists

suggest that such ah?dithmerit intense critical scrutiny.In fact, some assert
that only theQur'?n is legitimateas a source of Islamic knowledge, arguing
that since the statementsembodied in these ah?dith are inconsistentwith
Qur'?nic precepts on women and men's spiritual equality, they cannot be
considered sound and authentic.
Partially

as a result of these modern

controversies

over hadith, the central

role of the Prophet (peace be on him) as exemplar has on thewhole been


somewhat diminished, at least as regardshismarital life.
When the actions of
the Prophet (peace be on him) are referredto by any of these groups, it is
usually only in very general terms.The specificexamples of conduct referred
to by formativeperiod juriststo establish legal rulingsare largelyabsent from
been published in English under the titleIslamic Fatawa Regarding Women: Fatawa al-mar'ab:
sharVahrulingsgiven by theGrand Mufti of Saudi Arabia Sheikh Ibn Baz, Sheikh Ibn Uthaimin,
SheikhIbn Jibreenand othersonmatterspertaining towomen, compiled byMuhammad bin *Abd
al-'Aziz al-Musnad, tr.Jamaal al-Din Zarabozo (Riyadh:Darussalam Publishers & Distributors,
1996).
71 use the term feministas shorthand for thosewho work for the amelioration ofwomen's lives
while challenging certain preconceived notions about what is a religiously acceptable way for
Muslim women to behave and live.
8
For an excellent discussion of this phenomenon, see Linda Clarke, "Hijab According to the
Hadith: Text and Interpretation" in TheMuslim Veil inNorth America: Issues and Debates, ed.
Sajida SultanaAlvi et al. (Toronto:Women's Press, 2003), 258-9.
9
For a consideration of some of these ahadith, see Kecia Ali, "Women, Gender, Ta'a
(Obedience) and Nush?z (Disobedience) in Islamic Discourses," Encyclopedia ofWomen and
Islamic Cultures, ed. Suad Joseph (Leiden: Brill, forthcoming); and Abou El Fadl,
Speaking in
God's Name, 218-22.

"A BEAUTIFUL

EXAMPLE":

AS A MODEL

THE PROPHET MUHAMMAD

FOR MUSLIM

HUSBANDS

277

modern discussions. In the thirdand finalportion of this essay, I suggestthat


the lessons learned froma considerationof early jurisprudencecan help guide
contemporaryMuslims to an approach that recognizes both the exceptional
nature of the Prophet (peace be on him) and his divinely-assignedrole as
exemplar for theMuslim community.10
I
PROPHETICACTIONS AS A SOURCEOF LEGALNORMS
Muslim juristsreferto themarital conduct of theProphet (peace be on him)
on numerous occasions in theireffortto determine the appropriate rules to be
some cases, the relevance of his
applied to themarriages of other believers. In
actions to other believers is agreed-upon.For example, themarriage of the
Prophet (peace be on him) toUmm Salam? isuniformlycitedwhen questions
arise over the number of wedding nights to be spentwith a new bride.11
Likewise, the aging Sawdah's givingup her turn in favourof '?'ishah to avoid
being divorced by the Prophet (peace be on him) is often invoked to
demonstrate the permissibilityofwomen surrenderingtheir rights in similar
circumstances.12

In other cases, however, the relevanceof the actions of theProphet (peace


be on him) to other believers is less clear.Take the example of the practice of
10 am
I
arguing for an approach that can be authoritative,based on the sunnah of the Prophet
on him) as manifested in his own marital behaviour. Importantly, such an approach
be
(peace
must deal with issues that some Muslims find controversial today, otherwise it will be
vulnerable to dismissal asmerely a selectiveuse of convenient precedents.
11
Malik b. Anas, al-Muwatta\ trans. '?'isha 'Abdarahman at-Tarjumana and Ya'qub Johnson

(Cambridge: Diwan Press, 1982), 247; M?lik b. Anas [Sahn?n b. Sa'?d al-Tanukh?], al
Mudawwanah al-Kubr? (Beirut:Dar Sadir Publishers, 1323 ah), 2: 269; Muhammad al-Shayb?n?,
Muwatta' al-Im?mM?lik bi Riw?yatMuhammad b. al-Hasan al-Shayb?n? (Beirut: al-Matba'ah al
'flmiyyah,1997), 176;Muhammad al-Shayb?n?,Kit?b al-Hujjah 'al?Ahl al-Mad?nah (Hyderabad:
Lajnat Ihy?' al-Ma'?rif al-Nu'm?niyyah, 1965), 3: 246-53;Muhammad b. Idr?sal-Sh?fi'i,al-Umm
(Beirut:Dar al-Kutub al-'?miyyah, 1993), 5: 283; Ismael b. Yahy? al-Muzan?,Mukhtasar al
Muzani, published as volume 9 of al-Umm, 9: 199.This topic is not addressed in the responsa of
IbnHanbal. Though the juristsagree on the relevance of theProphet's behaviour in this case to
that of other Muslim

husbands, they disagree over how precisely his example is to be

interpreted.

12
Ab? Y?suf, Kit?b al-?th?r (Hyderabad: Lajnat Ihy?' al-Ma'?rif al-Nu'm?niyyah, 1355 ah), 146,
#667;Muhammad b. Idr?s al-Sh?fi'?,al-Umm, 5: 278-9. See alsoHarald Motzki on the exchange
recorded in theMusannaf of 'Abd al-Razz?q al-San'?n?, between Ibn Jurayj and 'Ata* on the
issue of Sawdah giving up her share of nights.Motzki draws the reasonable conclusion that
simplyknowing that a particular action or statementwas attributedto theProphet (peace be on
him) did not automaticallymean thathe would in factbe cited as the source of legitimacy for
that action. See Motzki, The OHgins of Islamic Junsprudence:
Meccan Fiqh before theClassical
Schools, trans.Marion H. Katz (Leiden: Brill, 2002), 125-6.

KECIA ALI

278

theProphet (peace be on him) of drawing lots to choose which wife or wives


would accompany him on journeys. Those jurists who give careful
consideration to the Prophet's conduct in this matter and regard it as
exemplarynonetheless disagree aboutwhether thisobligates other husbands to
do the same? the Sh?fi'?view ? or is permitted,but not required? the
M?lik? view.13
An even greaterrangeof approaches to theconduct of theProphet (peace
be on him) is exemplified in the legal treatmentof an issue that is now
generally agreed to be moot: whether a man may manumit his own slave

woman andmarry her,with hermanumission servingas her dower.14When


formative-periodjuristsdiscuss this issue, they refer to themarriage of the
Prophet (peace be on him) to Safiyyah,who had been capturedduring a battle
and allotted to one of theMuslim combatantsas part of his shareof the booty.
The Prophet (peace be on him) ransomed her from her captor and then
manumitted andmarried her. Though the juristsagree on thisbasic narrative,
theydisagree as towhether theProphet's action inmanumitting andmarrying
Safiyyah creates a precedent that othermen may follow. Specifically, they
over whether,
his own
if a man manumits
disagree
her, her manumission
may serve as her dower.15

female

slave and marries

Some, such as IbnHanbal, see a clear precedent of permissibility in the


action of theProphet (peace be on him)with regardto Safiyyah:
I asked my father [Ahmad b. Hanbal] about a man who manumits a female slave
and then decides tomarry her. He said, "There is no harm in this. In thismatter I
follow the hadlth of Shu'ayb b. al-Habhab and Th?bit and Qat?dah and 'Abd al
b. Suhayb on the authority of Anas b. Malik that the Prophet (peace be on
manumitted
him)
Safiyyah and made her manumission her dower. My father
related tome and said, Ism?'? related to us and said, "'Abd al-'Aziz b. Suhayb on

theauthorityofAnas b.Malik thattheProphet (peacebe on him)manumitted


Safiyyahandmarriedher.Then Th?bit said tohim, "Whatdid he giveher as a

13
Ism?'?l ibnYahy? al-Muzan?,Mukhtasar al-Muzan?, 9: 199;M?lik b. Anas, al-Mudawwanah 2:
269. Formative-periodHanaf? andHanball sources do not discuss this topic.
14
On the fact that the entire corpus of traditional jurisprudenceon marriage and sexual relations
is intricately intertwined with materials on slavery and concubinage, see my doctoral
dissertation,

"Money,

Sex, and Power:

The

Contractual

Nature

of Marriage

in Formative-Period

Islamic Jurisprudence" (Duke University, 2002), especially chapter 5, "Marriage andDominion".


15
Formative-period juristsrely on accounts thatpresent Safiyyah'smanumission as her dower.
One such account is also found in Ibn Sa'd, The Women ofMadina, p. 89. However, another
account found elsewhere suggests that Safiyyah received a dower apart fromher manumission.
Ibn Kathlr states that her dower was a slave-girlnamed Raz?nah. See Ibn Kathir, al-Sirah al
Nabawiyyah, trans.Trevor Le Gassick as The Life of theProphetMuhammad (Reading,UK: The
Centre forMuslim Contributions toCivilization, Garnet Publishing, 2000), 4: 463.

WA
BEAUTIFUL
EXAMPLE":
THE PROPHET
MUHAMMADAS A MODEL FORMUSLIMHUSBANDS

dower?" Anas b. Malik

279

said, "Herself. He manumitted her and married her."16

There are two issues at stake in this exchange: first,


what dower, if any,
on
received
from
the
be
and
second,whether
Safiyyah
Prophet (peace
him);
othermen may manumit andmarry theirfemale slaveson the same basis. The
formerissue ishistorical and the latteris essentiallyjurisprudential.
The hadith
adduced by Ibn Hanbal in response to his son's query provides Anas b.
Malik's statementthat theProphet (peace be on him) "made hermanumission

her dower." The hadith itselfdoes not address the second issue,whether it is
possible forotherMuslim men to follow the example of theProphet (peace be
on him). IbnHanbal declares that theymay ? "There isno harm in it"? but
does not explicitlyengage the issueofwhether theProphetic behaviour here is
precedent-setting;rather,he simplyassumes that it is.
The same hadith is found,with a slightlydifferentchain of transmission,
in theMusannaf of IbnAbi Shaybah, roughlya contemporaryof IbnHanbal's.

This Musannaf also provides the opinions of *Al?and theMadman authority


Sa'?d b. al-Musayyab to the effectthat aman is permitted tomake his female
slave's

manumission

her

dower.

In

this case,

however,

the discussion

is

positioned in a way thatmakes clear the legal disagreementover this issue:


within theMusannaf it appears in a section entitledThe Book ofRefutationof
Abu Han?fah. These opinions are followed by the purported view of Abu
Han?fah that a man manumitting and thenmarrying his own female slave "is
not permitted exceptwith a dower."17In this text,while the example of the
Prophet (peace be on him) is cited in the formof a hadith fromAnas b.Malik,
there is no explicitdiscussion of his role as exemplar (or, forAbu Han?fah, as
an exception) in thismatter.
Along with Ab? Han?fah, M?lik? and Sh?fi'? juristsagreed that a man's

marriage

to his
newly-manumitted

slave woman

required

a dower

apart from

themanumission, though theydisagreedon certainother specificsof this type


ofmarriage. In thisway, none took the conduct of theProphet (peace be on
him) in Safiyyah's case as directly applicable to other male believers.18The

16
Susan A. Spectorsky, ed. and trans.Chapters onMarriage andDivorce: Responses of IhnHanbal
andlbn R?hwayh (Austin:University of Texas Press, 1993), 121. See also p. 142,where the same
opinion is given, but the Prophet (peace be on him) is not mentioned as an exemplar. See also
Spectorsky's introduction,p. 18, fordetails of Safiyyah's capture. Please note that Spectorsky's
transliterationof someArabic names has been altered for the sake of consistency.
17
Abu Bakr 'Abd Allah b. Muhammad b. Abi Shaybah, al-Kit?b al-MusannaffVl-Ahaditk
wa'l
?th?r (Beirut: Dar al-Kutub al-Tlmiyyah, 1995), 7: 289, #36163-36135. This and other
translationsfrom theArabic aremine unless otherwise indicated.
18
See Muhammad ibnHasan al-Shayb?ni,Kitab al-Hujjah, 3: 422-6, where Muhammad al
Shayb?n? adopts a justificationdifferentfrom that attributedtoAbu Han?fah. I could not locate

2gQ

KECIAALI

Sh?fi'? jurists explicitly address the question of why other men are not
permitted to followhis example in thismatter:
may God bemercifultohim, about thehadithof
[Al-Muzan?]:I askedal-Sh?fi'?,
may God's blessings
may God be pleasedwith her, [when]theProphet,
Safiyyah,
and peace be upon him, manumitted

her and made her manumission

her dower.

He said,The Prophet,may God's blessingsand peace be upon him, is [allowed]


certain things inmarriage

that are not allowed for others.19

In sharp contrast to thosewho cite the actions of the Prophet (peace be on


him) to demonstrate the permissibilityof performinga certain action but do
not explicitlyaffirmthe exemplarynature of Prophetic actions, al-Sh?fi'?feels
himself obliged to argue in the above passage that the Prophet (peace be on
While the case of Safiyyah receives little
him) is exceptional in this instance.
attention today, themarriage of the Prophet (peace be on him) to '?'ishah
continues to receive a great deal of attention and to be the focus of
considerable apologetic and polemic, some ofwhich I will discuss in thenext
section of this essay.20
Here, I wish to focus on one element, the question of
the bride's consent.While all the four Sunni schools agree that a man may

marry offhisminor virgindaughterswithout obtaining theirconsent, theway


inwhich this rule is or is not linked to the personal conduct of theProphet
(peace be on him) is illuminating.Ibn Hanbal and al-Sh?fi%who disagree
clearly on the question of Safiyyah,are in agreement that themarriage of the
may marry
Prophet (peace be on him) to '?'ishah provides proof that fathers
off theirminor virgin daughterswithout consulting them or obtaining their
permission.21

the discussion of this issue in theMudawwanah (though a related issue is discussed on 3: 208),
nor is it found in theMuwatta\ Interestingly,it does arise in the significantlylaterBiddyat al
M?lik? juristIbn Rushd, who goes against the dominant view of his
Mujtahid by free-thinking
school by concluding that the actions of the Prophet (peace be on him) are exemplary in this
case: "The principle is that his acts are binding upon us, except when there arises evidence
indicating their being specific to him." Ibn Rushd, The Distinguished Jurist'sPrimer: A
Translation of Bid?yat al-Mujtahid, tr. Imran Ahsan Khan Nyazee, reviewed by Muhammad
Abdul Rauf (Reading,UK: Centre forMuslim Contribution toCivilization ,Garnet Publishing
Limited, 1996), 2: 24.
19
Ism?'?l

al-Muzan?,

Mukhtasar

al-Muzan?,

9: 177.

20
This marriage, and both contemporary and traditional treatmentsof it, forms the subject of
an article-lengthstudy currentlyinprogress.
21
For Ibn Hanbal, see Spectorsky, ed. and trans.Chapters onMarriage and Divorce, 97 for

discussion of the relevance of the example of 'A'ishah'; see also 93, 143, and 146 for statements
about the validity of the father'smarrying off a minor virgin as well as 62-63 for a slightly
differentperspective,which stressesthe desirabilityof consultingher, thoughwithout rejecting

"A BEAUTIFUL

EXAMPLE":

THE PROPHET MUHAMMAD

AS A MODEL

FOR MUSLIM

HUSBANDS

281

IbnHanbal adduces the example of theProphet (peace be on him) when


asked aboutwhether a girl,given inmarriage by her fatheras aminor, has the
rightto opt out of themarriagewhen she reachesmaturity.According to him,
"She cannot exercise thisoption ifher fathergave her inmarriage. If she could,
then '?'ishah could have with regard to the Prophet (peace be on him),
because he married her when shewas six or sevenyears old, had intercourse
with herwhen shewas nine, and diedwhen shewas eighteen."22
According to

thisnarrative,found in Sah?hBukh?ri and accepted in itsbasic outlines by the


other formative-periodlegal authorities, 'A'ishahwas a minor when shewas
married offby her fatherand shewas not given the choice to accept or reject
themarriage before its consummation a few years later.23In this case, Ibn
Hanbal makes the exemplarynature of the actions of theProphet (peace be on
him) clear: since his bridewas not consultedor given the chance to opt out of
the marriage after she attainedmajority, this demonstrates that no other
minor bride can have theoption.
Al-Sh?fiTs approach is similar,drawing on the example of the Prophet
(peace be on him) in marrying '?'ishah to justify a general doctrine.
According to the reporthe provides, "Ab? Bakr's marrying off '?'ishah to the
Prophet,may God's blessings and peace be upon him,when shewas a girl of
six, and [theProphet's] consummating[themarriage]with herwhen shewas a
girlof nine, indicate that the fatherhasmore rightover thevirgin than she has
over herself."24
While Ab? Bakr is cited here as the first actor, it is the
consummation of thatmarriage by theProphet (peace be on him) before she
attainedmaturity, bul?gh, thatmakes clear that she had no option to dissolve
the marriage.25

the validity of a marriage concluded by the fatherwithout obtaining consent. For al-Sh?fi'?'s
views, see his alUmm, 5: 28-9 and Ikhtil?fallr?qiyyin, alUmm, 7: 238.
22
Spectorsky, ed. and trans.Chapters onMarriage andDivorce, 97.
23
Al-Sh?fi'?, alUmm, 5: 28-9. There are other reports that suggest that '?'ishah was several
years older than this at her marriage. See Asma Barlas, BelievingWomen in Islam: Unreading

Patriarchal Interpretationsof theQur'an (Austin: University of Texas Press, 2002), 125-6.


However, theydo not figurein these legal texts.
24
Al-Sh?fi'?, al-Umm, 5: 29.
25
Al-Sh?fi'? explicitly states in Kit?h Ikhtil?f al'Ir?qiyy?n (an interlinear commentary on a
version of Ikhtit?fAbi Hanifah wa Ibn Abi Layl? of Ab? Y?suf, published in volume 7 of al
Umm), that '?'ishah was still aminor when theProphet (peace be on him) consummated their

marriage. See Al-Sh?fi'?, alUmm, Kit?b Ikhtil?fal'Ir?qiyy?ny7: 238.While agreeing that a minor
virginmarried by her fatherhas no right to opt out of themarriage at puberty, other jurists
consider that '?'ishah had attained puberty before her marriage to the Prophet (peace be on
him) was consummated. This accounts for the centralityof the age nine in the acceptability of
female claims to have attainedmajority inHanaf? and (the dominant view of) Hanbali fiqh,
where themature virgin cannot be married offwithout consent even by her father.

KECIA ALI

282

Ibn Hanbal takes the same approach to themarriages of the Prophet


(peace be on him) to '?'ishah and Safiyyah. In both instances, the Prophet
(peace be on him) behaved in a certainway and thereforeit is lawfulforother
men to do so. There is aminor differencein that in the lattercase he explicitly
declares the connection between the behaviour of theProphet (peace be on

him) and that governing other marriages, while in the former case, the
relevance of the conduct of theProphet (peace be on him) to that of other
men is simply assumed. In contrast,al-Sh?fi'Fsapproach to the twomarriages
varies significantly.In the case of Safiyyah,the action of theProphet (peace be
on him) is exceptional and other believers are not permitted to emulate him,
while in the case of '?'ishah, he is an exemplar, settingprecedent for other
men's

Muslim

behaviour.

These variations do not exhaust the rangeof jurisprudentialapproaches to


thepersonal conduct of theProphet (peace be on him). In comparison to the
Hanbal? and Sh?fi'? jurists, the early M?lik?s and Hanafis demonstrate
relatively little interestin themarriage of theProphet (peace be on him) to
'?'ishah.26

For

example,

theMuwatta'

does not even mention

this marriage

in

its discussion of compulsorymarriage. Instead,Malik gives the example of


several Companions who married off their virgin daughters without
consulting them,and statesthat theirexample is representativeof "thepractice
among us."27Malik knew, of course, of themarriage of theProphet (peace be
on him) to '?'ishah, but he clearly did not think it themost appropriate
evidence for his position. The Mudawwanab, a slightly laterMalik! text,
chooses
contract

a different
Prophetic
his minor daughter's

example

to demonstrate

marriage

without

the paternal power to


her consent, stating that the

Prophet (peace be on him) married off two of his own daughterswithout


consulting

them.28

Importantly,these instancesofProphetic behaviour,whether inmarrying


'?'ishah or marrying off his daughters, are considered by these juriststo be

26
In fact, the "Book ofMarriage" in theMuwatta* makes reference to only two eventswhich
involve the Prophet's marital life. In the first,a woman offersherself to the Prophet (peace be
on him), but rather thanmarry her himself,he marries her off to one of his Companions. The
only account directly relating to one of his actualmarriages is that discussing the number of

wedding nights he spentwith Umm Salam?. The Prophet's own spousal conduct does not
appear

at all in theMuwatt?

's "Book

of Divorce".

(One

account

records

an interaction

between

him andUmm Salam? before shewas hiswife; it refersto hermourning ofAb? Salam?).
27
M?lik b. Anas, al-Muwatta' li'l-Im?mM?lik b. Anas, bi Riw?yat Yahy? b. Yahy? b. Kath?r al
Layth?al-Andalusl (Beirut:D?r al-Fikr, 1989), 331.
28
M?lik b. Anas Al-Mudawwanah, 2: 157. For a number of contrary reportswhich describe how
the Prophet (peace be on him) did consult his daughters, see Ibn Abi Shaybah, al-Musannaf,
4: 136 and 'Abd al-Razz?q al-San'?ni, al-Musannaf (Beirut:D?r
6: 115, # 10327/2842.

al-Kutub al-Tlmiyyah, 2000),

"A BEAUTIFUL

more

EXAMPLE":

relevant

THE PROPHET MUHAMMAD

as a source of doctrine

AS A MODEL

FOR MUSLIM

than a statement

283

HUSBANDS

that they also attribute

to theProphet (peace be on him): "The non-virginhasmore rightover herself


thanhermarriage guardian, and thevirgin is to be consulted about herself,and
her silence is her permission."29In their determination, the actions of the
Prophet (peace be on him) overrule, or at least specify and limit the
application of, his explicit command. The decisions of the jurists in this
regard,of course,were influencedby theirparticular social assumptions.These
included the view that itwas normal, and in no way offensive,for a man to
contract bindingmarriages for his minor daughterwithout her consent, an
assumption that isno longerwidely shared today.

QUR'?N, HADTTH,AND SUNNAH:CONTEMPORARYDISCOURSES


The issue of consent is instructiveto consider further,as it provides a clear
point of contrast between traditionalviews and contemporary discourses.
Despite the agreement of early Sunn? jurists that a fatherhad the right to
contract

a minor

daughter's

without

marriage

her

consent,30

current

conventional wisdom among layMuslims holds thatwomen's consent is


always necessary for their marriages. A ubiquitous pamphlet entitled
"Women's Status in Islam" circulatedby The IslamicCircle ofNorth America
mainstreamMuslim organizations in theUS, states
(ICNA), one of the largest
a
woman
that "As legal entity,hermarriage isnot possiblewithout her
of any
consent." An

online

question-and-answer

Imam Sa'dullah Khan


partners:

"Neither

column

provides

to a question about women's

the guardian

nor anyone

this response

from

choice of marriage

else can coerce

a female to marry

against her wishes, since Islam emphaticallydisallows forcedmarriages."31In

29
M?lik b. Anas, al-Muwatta\ 331; Idem, al-Mudawwanah, 2: 158; al-Shafi'? al-Umm, 5: 28;
Muhammad al-Shayban?Kit?b al-Hujjah, 3:140-1. This hadith is not cited in its entirety in Ibn
Hanbal's responsa, though it is alluded to on several occasions. See Spectorsky, ed. and trans.
Chapters onMarriage andDivorce, 63-4, 97-8,143.
30
Hanafi jurists,as well as themajority ofHanbal?s, have always upheld the rightof a mature
(b?ligh)virgin to give or withhold consent tomarriage, even when her father is her marriage
guardian.However, theM?likls and Sh?fi'?s, as well as a minority ofHanbal?s including Ibn
Qud?mah, have upheld the father's right of compulsion (ijb?r) in marriage so long as she
remains a virgin, regardless of her age. See Kecia Ali, "The Mamie Marriage Contract: A
Doctrinal Framework," in Frank Vogel and Asifa Quraishi, eds. The IslamicMarriage Contract,
forthcoming.

31
"The Right to Choose: Ask the Imam (Sa'dullah Khan)", fromwww.beUefnet.com, printed
1/30/03. "The consent of both theman and thewoman is an essential element ofmarriage,"
according to Raga' El-Nimr, "Women in Islamic Law," in Feminism and Islam: Legal and
LiteraryPerspectives,ed.Mai Yamani (New York: New York University Press, 1996), 96.

KECIA ALI

284
these instances,

as with

other examples

too numerous

to cite, the statement of

the Prophet (peace be on him), which we may refer to as "the permission


haditb" is given as proof thatcompulsorymarriage isnot permissible.
In thesediscourses, thewords of theProphet (peace be on him) settlethe
consent. The contemporary Muslim
authors who affirm women's
question of
are
a
to marry
not
freedom from compulsion
critique of dominant
articulating
on a
or reassessment of the
doctrine
based
reinterpretation
legal
importance of

"the permission had?th"Rather, theypresent the necessity of female consent


as if itwere an uncontesteddescriptionof a traditionalposition. The marriage
of theProphet (peace be on him) to 'A'ishah is almost never discussedwhen
thequestion of consent arises,even to suggestthat itwas exceptional to him or
isno longerappropriate as an example forMuslim men to follow.32This stress
on the Prophet's statements is illustrativeof a larger phenomenon in

contemporarydiscussions of Islamicmarriage: specificactions of theProphet


(peace be on him) are rarelymentioned, while a few declarative ah?d?th,such
as the permission had?th, are repeated frequently.Unlike "the permission
had?th" though, in most cases, the ah?d?thmentioned are not those that
promote

greater freedom

forwomen

but rather those that appear

to

denigrate

themor suggestsubordinationwithin marriage as theirappropriate role.


Of course, such ah?d?thdid appear frequentlyin traditionaldiscourses on
marriage; the selectiveuse of such "authoritative"words from the Prophet
(peace

be on him)

is not new. A

consideration

of al-Ghaz?l?'s

treatment

of

Vl?m al-Din will demonstrate the extent towhich views


marriage in thelhy?y
of female deficiency and subordinationwithin marriage are consistentwith
traditionalnorms.33As alreadynoted, inmany taf?s?rof key Qur'?nic verses,
32
For one exception, see Barias, BelievingWomen in Islam, 125. She suggests,briefly, that this
marriage might fallwithin the category of "specific typesofmarriages" that theProphet (peace
be on him) alone was permitted to contract by Qur'an 33: 50. Also, theKharijites "refused to
accept the precedent of the Prophet as binding upon them.They did not tolerate themarriage
of a girl at the age of nine years, in spite of the fact thatMuhammad married '?isha when she
was of that age. They rationalized theiropinion on the
ground thatGod bestowed theProphet
with several privileges in his relationswith women." Elie Adib Salem, Political
Theory and
Institutions of theKhawarij (Baltimore: JohnsHopkins University Press, 1956), 100. Leila
Ahmed notes thisKh?rijite view that both concubinage and marriage to minor
girlswere
privileges allotted to the Prophet (peace be on him) alone. Women and Gender in Islam:
Historical Roots of aModern Debate (New Haven: Yale University Press, 1992), 71. Of course,
theKharijites are considered by Sunn? jurists to be outside the bounds of orthodoxy and thus
theiropinions do not matter indeterminingconsensus.
33See
Madelain Farah,Marriage and Sexuality in Islam: A Translation of al-GhazaWs Book on the
Etiquette ofMarriage from theIhy?*(SaltLake City: University ofUtah Press, 1984), 94-9,120-2.
This text is exceptional, however, in that it combines theseah?d?thwith extensive discussion of
theProphet (peace be on him) as themodel forgood conduct; see 94-6.

"A BEAUTIFUL

EXAMPLE":

THE PROPHET MUHAMMAD

AS A MODEL

FOR MUSLIM

HUSBANDS

285

Within early and classical legal texts,they appear less


they appear frequently.
For the jurists,the authorityof theProphet (peace be on him)
often, though.34
was generally used in a differentway, to focus on specificsof behaviour,
verdicts
includingnot only his personal conduct but also his precedent-setting
in other cases brought beforehim.
What, then, is the precise relationshipof the sunnah to ah?dith, and how
does this relate to the exemplarynature of Prophetic behaviour?35The hadith
literatureis a means of recording and transmittingthe sunnah (although the
identificationof "sunnah" exclusivelywith the sunnahof theProphet (peace be
on him) occurred in the generations after his death). The sunnah of the
Prophet (peace be on him) is considered by jurists to constitute the second
source of law, aftertheQur'an. Thus, to the extentthatparticularah?dithhelp
us to know the sunnah of theProphet (peace be on him), they are useful for
as
legalpurposes. But, traditionally,theyarematerials to be interpreted part of
a largerprocess, not legaldirectives thatcan be directlyapplied. The equation
of the ah?dithwith legal rules suitable for direct application without the
mediation of jurisprudentialmethod is a departure from traditional
are statements
approaches. This is particularlysowhen the ah?dithmentioned
describing an ideal ratherthanproposing or establishinga particularverdict.
argument, though admittedly controversial, for rejecting these
purported statementsof theProphet (peace be on him) has to do with their
authenticity. It is a general principle of scholarship that ah?dith are only
acceptable as the source fordiscoveringthe sunnahof theProphet (peace be on
him) to the extent that their authenticity is accepted.With regard to the
reports on both women and marriage, a number of modern scholars offer
One

reasons

to suspect

the authenticity

of some

of

the most

frequently

cited

ah?dith by directing theircritique towardsboth the soundness of thematn as


well as the veracity of the isn?d, even when these have been reported by
Bukh?r?,Muslim, and other eminentHadith scholars.Regarding the reliability
of transmission (isn?d critique), the problematic role of Abu Hurayrah as a
transmitter

of numerous

statements

derogatory

toward

women

has

been

frequentlynoted.36As for the issue of content (matn critique), it has been


34
Some Hanbali

juristssuch as Ibn al-Jawzi and Ibn Taymiyyah are exceptional in this regard,
ah?d?th
that are demeaning towomen.
frequentlyciting
35
Daniel Brown, Rethinking Tradition inModern Islamic Thought (Cambridge: Cambridge
University Press, 1996) approaches some of these issues. For one modernist and innovative
approach to this topic, see Fazlur Rahman, IslamicMethodology inHistory (Karachi: Central
Instituteof IslamicResearch, 1965) and "Sunnah andHad?th," IsUmic Studies,vol. 1,no. 2, 1962,
1-36.

36
Abou El Fadl notes that a[M]any of the traditionsdemeaning towomen are reported, in one
version or another, by Abu Hurayrah who has been a rather controversial figure in early

KECIAALI

286

argued that these statementsstressingfemaledeficiencyand themagnitude of


husbands' rights over theirwives are sufficientlyincompatible with the
Qur'?nic view of women and marriage so as to require, inKhaled Abou El
Fadl's

terms, a "conscientious

pause"

before one relies on them inmaking

legal

determinations.37

Yet it is precisely these traditions thatmany conservative jurists and


activistsquote today in theirdiscourses aboutmarriage and spousal rights.In
the collection of Saudifat?w? studiedby Abou El Fadl, one frequentlyfinds
statementsattributed to theProphet (peace be on him) that affirmwomen's

intellectual weakness, delicate constitutions, and inherent


susceptibility to temptation. Alongside these ahadith, understood as
demeaning towomen, numerous others specifytheneed for femaleobedience
inmarriage, particularlywith regard to submittingto the husband's sexual
desires; some even make a wife's entry into paradise contingent on her

moral

husband's

and

satisfaction with her.38

It is largelybecause of the prominence of statementssuch as these in


contemporary appeals to sunnah that most feminist and reform-minded
Muslims have made sparingreferenceto thehadith literaturein theirattempts
to rethinkMuslim marriage, relyinginsteadon reinterpretationof theQur'?n.
Scholars such asAmina Wadud have considered thedifficulties
with thehadith
literatureso significantthat theQur'?n is interpreted
without referenceto it.39
Prolific Indian author Asghar Ali Engineer likewise rejects the hadith
literatureas an acceptable source fordetermining legal rules, relyingonly on
the Qur'?n.40

Asma

Barlas

characterizes

the hadith

literature along with works

of Qur'?nic interpretation(tafstr)as "secondary religious texts" fromwhich


"inequ?lity and discrimination" are derived.41Still, she does not argue for
Islamic history. In factcriticismdirected at his credibility is not novel, and, in fact,has induced
somewriters to compose books in his defense." SeeAbou El Fadl,
Speaking inGod's Name, 215,
and the sources cited there. For an extended discussion by a non-Islamicist of one tradition

related by Ab? Hurayrah, and the question of its reliability,see Fatima Mernissi, The Veil and
theMale Elite: A Feminist InterpretationofWomen's Rights in Islam, trans.Mary Jo Lakeland
?
(ReadingMA: Addison
Wesley Publishing Company, 1991), 62-81. See also Barias, Believing
Women in Islam, 49.
37
Abou El Fadl, Speaking inGod's Name, 220 and passim.
38
Ibid., 210-14,231-2, 282-3, and passim.
39
Amina Wadud, Qur'an and Woman (Kuala Lumpur: Penerbit Fajar Bhakti Snd, 1992). Even
Wadud, however, cannot entirely resist an appeal to the Prophet's sunnah; she closes her final
chapterwith "Surely, as the Prophet says, 'The best of you is he who is best to his family'".
Wadud, Qur'an and Woman, 91.
40
Asghar Ali Engineer, inWhat Men Owe toWomen: Men's Voices from World Religions, ed.
JohnC. Raines andDaniel MacGuire (Albany: StateUniversity ofNew York Press, 2001).
41
Barias, BelievingWomen, 3.

"ABEAUTIFULEXAMPLE":
THE PROPHETMUHAMMAD
AS A MODEL FORMUSLIMHUSBANDS

287

rejectingah?dith entirely,arguingthatsunnah is supplementaryto theQur'?n,


though itmust be ultimately subordinateto it,and thatah?dith are potentially
useful as a way of knowing the sunnah42These scholars thus depart, to a
greateror lesserextent, from thenotion of the partnershipof theQur'?n and
the sunnah that dominates the classical legal theory andMuslim intellectual
history.

'Though most reform-mindedauthors stop short of explicit rejection of


the sunnah, theirrejectionistattitudetoward ah?dithhas led to scant attention
being paid to thepersonal example of theProphet (peace be on him),with the
exception of brief references to the "egalitarian aspects of the Prophet's
Sunnah"43One finds, in numerousmoderate and progressiveworks mention
of one or more factsabout themarital Ufe of theProphet (peace be on him):
he did not confinehiswives to theirquarters;he was not harshwith them;he
did not hit or abuse them; he performedhousehold chores; he dissuaded his
son-in-lawfrom takinga secondwife; and he divorced awoman who expressed
an unwillingness to remainmarried to him.44Overall, the lesson one draws is
that "the Prophet, as themost elementaryreading of the sirah (traditionsof
theProphet's life)would reveal,was not a dictatorwithin his family".45
These authors, though intendingto praise the conduct of the Prophet
(peace be on him), for themost part describewhat he did not do (beat his
wives, treat them harshly, raise his voice in anger) and what he was not ("a
dictator"). They do so, I surmise,because they are implicitlycontrastingthe
Muslim husband they
Prophet's marital behaviour to thatof the stereotypical

wish

to reform. The

attempt

to minimize

nature of these comments


generally defensive
the worst and most common marital abuses

suggests an
rather than

an effortto constructa positivemodel ofmarriage based on the sunnahof the


Prophet (peace be on him). And this is not surprising,given that that the
Prophet's marital conduct, though given a purely positive appraisal, is seldom
discussed

in any but the most

cursory of ways.

Contemporary authors have plenty of materials to choose from in


making their claims about the Prophet's personal conduct in his marriages.
Reports about thekindness andmildness shown by theProphet (peace be on
him) in his marital life are found in numerous traditional sources, including
42
Ibid, 44-9,64-8.
43
Ibid, 125.
44
Khaled Abou El Fadl, Conference of theBooks, 169; Idem, Speaking in God's Name, 214-5;
Barias, Believing Women, 124-5; Mernissi, The Veil and theMale Elite, 142-5, 156-7; Najla
Hamadeh, "Mamie Family Legislation: The AuthoritarianDiscourse of Silence," inYamani, ed.
Feminism and Islam, 335, 342, 348-9 (n. 28).
45
About El Fadl, Speaking inGod's Name, 215.

KECIA AU

288

Yet because
theTabaq?t of Ibn Sa'd and theIhy?*Vl?m al-Din of al-Ghaz?l?.46
of the lack of a consistent approach, some have levelled charges of
inconsistencyagainst the contemporary authorswho unquestioningly accept
reportsconducive to greaterrightsforwomen in the conduct of theProphet
(peace be on him) while critiquing the reliability of Prophetic statements
drawn from the same, or similar,sourcematerials. Thus, it is deemed selective
to cite sources on his gentleness to his wives fromal-Ghaz?li, but ignore the
statement the same text attributes the Prophet (peace be on him) that a
husband's rightsover hiswife are so extensivethat "Were he coveredwith pus
from the tip of his head to the soles of his feet,andwere she to lickhim, she
would not compensate him enough."47Clearly, theProphet (peace be on him)
never expected such an attitudefromhiswives, and the two typesof accounts
are in tension as towhat type ofmarried life theProphet (peace be on him)
advocated.

In lightof such disagreementon how to read the sources, how can the
differentparties in thisdebate have fruitful
dialogue today? Iwould argue that
we Muslims should focus our attentionon those elements of legal, exegetic,
and historical sources in our traditionthatdescribe the conduct of theProphet
(peace be on him) himself in his own marital relationships.These sources are
quite clear thathe was gentle and kindwith hiswives, rather thanharsh; that
he helped themwith household chores; and so forth.Since there is agreement
on these facts,why not make this the startingpoint for a more thorough
engagementwith his sunnah}
m
A PATH FORWARD
Most of the contemporarydisagreementover the relative statusandweight of
Qur'?n, hadith, and sunnah relates to the authenticityof certain sayings
applicable towomen: those that liken them to donkeys and dogs, or describe
them as "crooked" (froma bent rib), "a trial" (formale Muslims), or as the
majority of the inhabitantsofHell. Those that "command" obedience of a
wife to her husband, and suggest that women's entry into paradise is
dependent

on their husbands'

Muslims, male

pleasure

and female. On

are repugnant

to many

contemporary

the other hand, those very sayings are

46
See L. Zolondek, ed. and trans.Book XX ofAl-Ghaz?lVs Ihy?*Vl?m ai-Din (Leiden: EJ Brill,
1963), 24, 26, 40, 56, including selections from the Tabaq?t of Ibn Sa'd. For discussion of the
conduct of the Prophet (peace be on him) from the Ihy?'s "Book on theEtiquette ofMarriage",
see Farah,Marriage and Sexuality in Islam, 94-6.
47
Ibid., 121.

"A BEAUTIFUL

EXAMPLE":

THE PROPHET MUHAMMAD

AS A MODEL

FOR MUSLIM

HUSBANDS

289

vigorously defended by others as a realistic and appropriate basis for the


distributionof rightsin familyand society.
It seems safe to assume that there is not going to be any agreement in the
foreseeablefuturebetween all sectionsof theMuslim community as to how to
deal with theseah?d?th.Some will always hold that they are sound (sahib)and
others

that they

cannot

possibly

be

so. Nonetheless,

these

statements ?

? are
whatever one decides about theirauthenticity
marginal to the sunnahof
the Prophet (peace be on him), particularly ifwe understand his sunnah as,
above all,manifested in his own personal conduct.Despite the disagreement
about the ah?d?th just discussed, there is significant,generally unremarked
common ground amongMuslims fromwidely divergent perspectives as to
what the Prophet (peace be on him) himself actually did in his relationships
with hiswives.
One possible way out of the present impasse is to choose to set aside, at
least for the timebeing, those elementsof declarativeah?d?ththat aremired in
controversy and to draw instead from those elements, also found in the
tradition, that shed lighton the characterof the Prophet (peace be on him)
himself in his marital conduct. These elements, though found in the
traditionalsources,were generallynot viewed as exemplary forothermen, but
ratherwere reserved to praise theProphet (peace be on him) as an exceptional
human being. Since these reports are accepted byMuslims from a variety of
perspectives, they can be the centrepieceof a new approach to the sunnah of

married life.Given thatMuslims of differentperspectives agree that the


Prophet (peace be on him) was considerate, gentle, cooperative and
compassionate in his dealingwith his wives, Muslims can choose to treat this
conduct as exemplary? the emulation ofwhich is required of otherMuslim
husbands? rather than as exceptional, and specific to theProphet (peace be
on him) himself.
A renewed focus on the exemplary conduct of theProphet (peace be on
him) can provide a bridge between the alternativesof a sole focus on the
Qur'?n, which requires a complementarysource to amplifyand elaborate the
norms it contains as a basis forMuslim practice, and theuncritical acceptance
of ah?dith over which Muslims from divergent perspectives disagree, and
which are deeply troubling to many Muslims. The model of the Prophet
(peace be on him) provides importantguidance toMuslim husbands about
how to behave and toMuslim women about the typeof behaviour theywould
be justified in expecting from their husbands who, as Muslims, ought to
emulate the Prophet's conduct inmarried life.Such an approach is hinted at
by the scattered referencesto the Prophet's gentleness and affection in his
marriages; any espousal of female rightson this basis is quite consistentwith

KECIAALI

290

Islamic norms.However, any seriousdiscussion of the sunnahof theProphet


(peace be on him) must move beyond the superficial invocation of his
gentlenesswith hiswives to a serious considerationof those of his actions that
cause

uncertainty

or discomfort

today among

at least a section ofMuslims.48

As I noted in the introduction to this essay, even believing, faithful


Muslims may have difficulty in grappling with the implications of the
marriage of theProphet (peace be on him) to young '?'ishah, to take themost
salient example. Though this topicmay have originally been raised in the
context of anti-Muslimpolemic, thatdoes not obviate theneed for addressing
it, since questions have arisen forMuslims who seek to understand the
implicationsof the conduct of the Prophet (peace be on him) for theirown
lives.One way ithas been phrased is thus: as theProphet (peace be on him) is
themodel for proper conduct, does his marrying '?'ishah legitimize such
marriages for all times and in all places?Or, are the changed circumstancesof
the

twenty-first

century

sufficient

to prompt

serious

reassessment

of

preciselyhow theProphet's conduct is exemplary?


What I endeavoured to show by evaluating theway that the early jurists
discussed themarital conduct of the Prophet (peace be on him) is that it is
possible to hold that his conduct is exceptional in certainmatters without
therebycriticizing that conduct.The vigorous disagreementsthat theyhad as
actions were exemplary or exceptional
particular Prophetic
reflect debate over whether or not to censure his conduct, but only

to whether

did not

or not

how to evaluate whether it carried normative weight for other Muslim


husbands. I have suggested that theywere thoughtfulin their evaluation of
particular instancesof his behaviour, but failed to give due weight to the basic
attitudeof theProphet (peace be on him) towardwomen in general and his
wives in particular.The jurists,I believe, did not take seriously enough the
legal implicationsof his good and kind treatmentof his wives. At the same
time,however, theywere serious and diligent in applying the specificinstances
of the conduct of theProphet (peace be on him) to theUves of other believers,
something that themodern approach of general praisewithout consideration
of specificactions fails to accomplish.
Early legal discussions about the exemplaryor exceptional nature of the
conduct of the Prophet (peace be on him) can be the startingpoint for
contemporary

attempts

to consider whether

and when

his conduct

can have

legal weight for otherMuslim husbands. Though the early jurists largely
agreed on what the Prophet (peace be on him) himself did under particular
48
Barlas notes the respectfultreatmentaccorded by theProphet (peace be on him) to his wives,
but suggests that "it is not usually these egalitarian aspects of the Prophet's Sunnah thatmany
Muslim

men

want

to emulate

today."

See, Barias,

Believing

Women,

124.

"A BEAUTIFUL

EXAMPLE":

circumstances,

THE PROPHET MUHAMMAD

not
they did
always

AS A MODEL

FOR MUSLIM

HUSBANDS

arrive at the same answers

291

as to whether

his behaviour obligated, encouraged, or even permitted otherMuslims to


behave in the sameway. My extended exploration of several legal issueswith
respect to the marriages of the Prophet (peace be on him) illustratesthe
complex variables involved in those legal determinations in contrast to the
oversimplifiedways in which Muslim marriage and the Prophet's marital
conduct are too often discussed today.Muslims spend far too much energy
battling over the validity of a handful of hadith reports, or constructing
elaborate (and disingenuous) apologia forpast practices,or simply sidestepping
sunnah altogether.None of these is a response that accurately and fully
engageswith theQur'?nic assertionthat theProphetMuhammad (peace be on
him) is "a beautifulexample" forMuslims.
?
?
For the early jurists, ikhtilaf
disagreement was the rule, not the
exception,

on numerous

issues. Yet

nonetheless

they

were

able

to engage

in

serious dialogue because of their shared commitment to discoveringways to


live out God's commands. The lessons learned from a consideration of
formative-periodjurisprudencecan help guide contemporaryMuslims to an
approach to the sunnah that recognizes both the exceptional nature of the
Prophet (peace be on him) and his divinely-grantedrole as exemplar for the
Muslim community as awhole, and forMuslim husbands in particular.

You might also like