RESEARCH PAPER

On
DIVORCE

Abstract

Divorces have emerged as a very likely outcome of marriages today, questioning the truth of the
saying that marriages are made in heaven. The divorce rates among young couples are
increasing progressively and have thus become an issue of major concern. Divorces were not so
common in the past, but as time passed by, it began to be accepted as more of a common
practice. Divorce being chosen more often than not also means that young couples tend to try
less on trying to work out the relationship. The increasing divorce rate persists because couples
choose divorce as an option for problems that most of the times can be solved by discussion and
compromise. In this research I have tried to look into different aspect of divorce and reasons
related to it. I not only looked into married peoples perception but I have also tried finding the
thinking pattern of unmarried young people who will so be entering life of married people.

Table of Contents

Introduction......................................................................................................................................5

Background......................................................................................................................................6

Research Question...........................................................................................................................9

Hypothesis.......................................................................................................................................9

Methodology..................................................................................................................................10

Data presentation and Analysis......................................................................................................11

Summary of Research Findings.....................................................................................................22

Recommendations..........................................................................................................................22

Conclusion.....................................................................................................................................23

Work Cited.....................................................................................................................................24

Introduction

Divorce is defined as the legal termination of a marriage, but in its real sense there is a lot more
to it than just the end of a relationship. Nowadays many marriages end in divorce, and
surprisingly most of them end at their early stages. This is an important study in the sociological
research today as along with divorce rates going up, peoples level of tension and hesitation
about marriage is also increasing. Nowadays the society accepts divorce very easily and even
suggests it as a solution to the trivial problems faced in a husband-wife relationship. Therefore
marriages and family life are at risk. If the numbers of divorces keep on rising in this pattern,
marriages might as well become extinct. To add to the existing problem, various law firms and
websites provoke divorce through various methods such as advertising the benefits of divorce or
by offering customized divorce forms online. The soaring divorces are not just questioning the
importance of relationships and ties but they are also creating severe after effects in the life of the
divorcees. There are harsh emotional, medical, financial and psychological implications of
divorce.

Background

Though divorce at an individual level is a liberating factor for estranged couples, the problem
arises when the divorce rate becomes too high and people begin to see it as a quick and easy way
out of their marriages. An abnormally high divorce rate is not good for the society at all. A
generation down the line, it will have serious social consequences, some of which are given
below. Missing Parent A divorce splits the family right down the middle. One parent, usually
the father, has to pack his or her bags and move out of the house. Children are then forced to live
with one parent while the other parent gets only visitation rights. The family becomes lopsided.
The single parent has to juggle both job as well as domestic duties, and is unable to give the kind
of upbringing and attention that should be given to the children for their healthy growth. Singleparent upbringing with the permanent absence of one parent creates serious psychological
problems for children. Children of divorce suffer from stress, anxiety and depression in their
childhood. These feelings often persist well into adulthood.
Divorce is bad for adults. Marriage is a very close relationship that provides solid emotional
support and comfort. You get to be intimate with another individual and share all your secrets
with your spouse. You are duty-bound to come to each others assistance when in need and
provide a shoulder to lean on whenever your husband or wife is feeling low and depressed.
People who divorce deprive themselves of the support offered by the marital relationship. They
suffer from the trauma of divorce and may slip into a chronic depression. This affects the success
of their future relationships since they may develop a feeling deep down within them that their
partners just cannot be trusted. People bitten by divorce may take to alcoholism and even attempt
suicide. Worse, if they have children, the latter suffer too with them and may also develop many
psychological problems.
There could be any number of reasons for the rise in the divorce rate in recent times. One reason
could be that divorce is more socially acceptable to more people now. Another reason could be
that fewer people belong to religions that oppose divorce and/or fewer people following rules of
religion even if they attend services regularly. Another factor could be that in the past more
people stayed in situations that today are considered abusive, and the increased awareness of
what constitutes abuse and why leaving is not only ok, but desirable, could play a rule as well.
I think, though, that there may be a less obvious and possibly more widespread problem at the
root of many relationships, and I think it stems from a widely accepted piece of advice given to
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young people: "You shouldn't just marry someone because you're in love with them. That kind of
love wears off. You should marry your best friend." This advice comes from the fact that many
people are aware of differences between infatuation and "real love", and many people are equally
aware that infatuation can seem like real love but wear off. People generally understand, too, that
even in the relationship that is headed for a calmer love there is the stage of hyperventilating
when the partners of a new relationship talk with one another and of flowers and not being able
to be the first one to hang up at the end of a phone conversation.
All this awareness of what "real love" is and isn't is something that our society has seemed to
generate over the last few decades; and while much of what people say about love and
relationships is often generally true, the "marry-your-best-friend" advice can at times backfire.
Young people generally have no problem meeting other young people, and if both individuals are
nice people and enjoy being with the other it is very easy for a relationship to continue. Since
relationships usually begin as a result of people's being attracted to one another most
relationships could be seen as "the infatuation stage" at the beginning. The attraction can remain
for quite a while, and as the relationship turns into "something deeper" it can seem as if the
relationship is solid. The partners often become "best friends too", which makes the relationship
seem perfect. Another scenario, though, is people sometimes get together out of a mutual interest
or even convenience and become best friends as well. This means that an awful lot of couples
who marry believe they are marrying their best friend. In a way these couples are right about
turning their relationship into marriage. It is true that people who are not "best friends too" can
have more tumultuous relationships even before marriage. The calm and niceness of marrying
this best friend can seem so much more right.
Sometimes, though, when a relationship begins with infatuation (which is fleeting) turns into one
of best friends what is missing from that relationship doesn't even show up because what is
missing is the kind of solid, permanent, love that is harder to come by but that will always
survive. There may be something in it for people to believe that there is a type of love that isn't
infatuation and that isn't being the closest of best friends because its easier to find new
relationships with people to whom we are attracted and with whom we will become best friends
than it is to live for, maybe, years without meeting that person with whom we have "magic".
Some people don't even believe this kind of love exists. Others don't want to take a chance and
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find they've lived alone for too long because they held out in their hopes to find "magic". This
"magic" standard is a tough one, and many women would age right out of their childbearing
years if this is the standard they held; so finding the romance in a relationship with a best friend
or finding the best friend with whom we can have a little romance can be ways that the majority
of people can have a relationship without holding out for one that may have more solid
permanence but that may be so rare it won't be found.

Research Question

In my research I will look into whether divorce is now more of a option taken by the couples due
to urbanization and modernization or the lack of commitment and sense of responsibility that
leads to divorce. On the research I will look into finding the answers of the following questions:
1. Do couples take the responsibilities of marriage seriously?
2. Is urbanization creating rift and communication gap among partners?
3. Is it justified to give greater priority to individual needs rather than compromising
for the need of the partner in a marriage?
4. Are pre-conceived values and ideas leading to jealousy and unfair treatment
amongst couples?
5. Are the greater education rate among women and their greater freedom threatening
marriages?

Hypothesis

My hypothesis for this research is that couples that pledge for divorce these days do so for
reasons that can be solved through discussion and compromise, and that the reasons behind
divorces are usually trivial. I also tried to establish that urbanization and modernization are
playing a very important role behind soaring divorce rates through introducing widespread
adultery, stress, and related problems which is causing the splitting-up of couples. For example:
People moving out of joint families, resulting in the loosening of family bonds.

Methodology

The methodology for my research will be divided into 2 parts. First, my primary research, which
will include survey conducted among young married men / women and youngsters and secondly
survey conducted among young unmarried people. My questionnaire will be designed to get
answer from different angles to help me find answers to my research questions. And my

secondary research will include journals, magazines, books and online information from various
sources.

Data presentation and Analysis

The total sample size for the conducted survey was 31, where 15 people were
married and 16 unmarried, who filled separate sections of the questionnaire. All the people were
aged 18-45 years, that is, the period during which people are married or think about marriage.
The survey paper (attached in the appendix) used to reach conclusions and
obtain a cleared view to the problem, comprised of three main sections. The first section
comprises of 3 questions that inquire the target about their basic personal information such as
their Name (optional), Sex, and Age (with provided ranges). It was important to know the sex
and age to gather information on what the different participants think, and to compare how the
thoughts and views change with their age.
The second section of the survey was targeted at people who are married. This was to unveil
their secrets behind a successful or bad marriage and to study from their personal experiences.
For easy understanding, the questions are broken down below with their supporting analysis,
followed by their graphical descriptions.

Questions asked to married people:

1: For how long have you been married? : ________
Purpose: The purpose behind asking this question was to see how as time passes couples become
more matured at handling their problems
2: Rank the qualities of your spouse that matter the most to you (where 1=most
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preferred) :
i) Honesty ___
ii) Social status___
iii) Loyalty ___
iv) Educational Qualification ___
v) Family Background ___
14
12
10

Honesty
Social Status

Loyalty
6

Educational Qualification
Family Background

4
2
0
1

Purpose: The motive behind asking this question was to see what qualities are more valued
among couples, and which ones are losing their importance.
Result: It has been seen that most of the people give trust the highest priority, and 75% of the
participants gave loyal the second highest priority. Third came family background, educational
qualification and social status chosen as fourth and fifth choice respectively.
3: You Currently live in: A Nuclear Family A Joint Family Others : ____________

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27%
A Nuclear Family
73%

A Joint Family

Purpose: This question was asked to see if todays couples like to live with their elders or not.
Result: 73% of the married couples live in nuclear families and the rest 27% live in joint family.
4: Your marriage was: Love Marriage Arrange Marriage Contractual

53%

47%

Love Marriage
Arrange Marriage

Purpose: This question asked to find any of the couples in a love marriage now regret choosing
their own partner.
Result: Only 47% of the people surveyed had a love marriage and arrange marriage being chosen
by 53% people, which goes on to show the known fact in Bangladesh, were arrange marriage
occurs more.

5: How often do you fight with your spouse: _____________________

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Purpose: To see the regularity of problems occurring in their married lives.

Result: This was an open ended question, however most of the people answered often or once
a week. Only one participant answered hardly.
6: Did you ever consider ending your marriage in divorce? Yes N
o
Did you ever consider ending your marriage in a divorce?

33%
Yes

No

67%

Purpose: This was a direct question asked to see the vulnerability of peoples mind to the option
of divorce.
Result: 33% of the people asked, answered yes while 67% said no.
7: Under what circumstance would you divorce your spouse? ( you may cross
multiple):
Abuse
Adultery
Drinking/Smoking habits
Communication gap
Lack of compatibility
Career as 1st priority (for you , for your spouse )
Giving less time to household

12

 Difference of views on children

Other: _____________________________________
18
16
14
12
10
8
6
4
2
0

Purpose: This was a very vital question asked to find out the ultimate reasons behind divorce
these days.
Result: 100% of those questioned, said they would divorce their spouse if they practiced
adultery, 40% due to lack of compatibility, around 46% due to abuse, 20% for drinking and
smoking habits, around 7% if their partner gave greater priority to career, 0% for communication
gap, difference of views on children and giving less time to household.
8: When/if you face problems in your marriage do/would you solve it through
compromise or argument? _________________________ (mention what)
Result: Most of the people answered Argument or both Argument and Compromise. During
the interview with a young married man, when asked this question he answered that his problems
begins with argument and ends in compromise. Arguments are good in a way since each person
gets to give their personal opinion, but those arguments which do not yield solutions end in
further arguments and problems.
13

Questions asked to unmarried people:

1. At what age do you plan on getting married? : ________
Result: This questions were asked to see if there were any portion of the young generation who
wants to get married at a late age. But he answer found were quite normal.
2. You prefer: A Love Marriage An Arranged Marriage

19%
A Love
Marriage
81%

An Arranged
Marriage

Result: 81% of the people said that they would prefer a love marriage. This shows that people do
not care much about the decision of elders anymore.
3. (Answer if you chose love marriage) Are you dating someone? (Optional):
Yes No

31%
69%

Yes
No

Result: Though most of the sample population said that they would prefer love marriage, yet
69% were not dating anyone.
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4.

Do you believe that marriages are made in heaven? : Yes No

Do you belive that marriages are 'made in heaven'?

No

Yes

10

12

Purpose: This question was asked to see if people still believe in traditional views of marriage
that have previously acted as a formula to successful marriages.
Result: 75% of the people chose No .Among them all the men said No. This shows peoples
declining belief in traditional and religious values. This leads to increased concerns and tension
in the mind of young people and thus affects their faith in the relationship.
5. Do you think that marriage affects your career? : Yes definitely Yes,
but not so much No not at all
Do you think that marriages affects your career?

No not at all; 13%

Yes definitely

Yes but not so much

No not at all

Yes definitely; 50%

Yes but not so much; 38%

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Purpose: This question was asked with the female sample in mind, expecting that only female
would answer yes to this question.
Result: To my surprise, almost majority answered Yes irrespective of their gender.
6. Please rank the following according to their importance in your future married
life (where 1=most important)
i) Trust ___
ii) Compatibility ___
iii) Bonding ___
iv) Financial security ___
v) Social status ___
14
12
10

Trust

Compatibilty

Financial security

Bonding
Social status

4
2
0
1

Result: This question was asked to find the qualities that are demanded by the young generation
today in their future life partners. 81% of the participants said trust was their highest priority,
while only 6% said that compatibility was their first priority. In contrast when the married
individuals were asked that under what circumstance they would divorce their spouse, 40% of
them said due to lack of compatibility .For 75% of the people, financial security came within
their first three wants.
7. As more and more couples are getting divorce, does it affect your decision of
marriage? Yes No
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As more and more couples are getting divorce, does it affect your decision of marriage?

13%

Yes

No

88%

Result: The result for this question was quiet normal, 88% people said that more couple getting
divorce doesnt have an effect on their marriage decision.
8. If you answered yes, please mention how: ____________________________
____________________________________________________
Purpose: To know the answer to 12% people who said why it effects their decision
9. Would you like to live in a joint family after marriage? (Please specify the
reasons)
Yes, because____________________________________________________
No, because ____________________________________________________

50%

50%

Yes
No

Result: There was equal number of people who said they who like to live in joint family as well
as nuclear family.
10. Do you think the Western culture is having a negative impact on peoples
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perspective of marriage in this part of the world? Yes No

Do you think the Western culture is having a negative impact on peoples perspective of marriage in this part of the world?

25%
Yes

No

75%

Result: 75% people said that they do think that western culture is having a negative impact on
peoples perception.

11. Do you consider divorce as a good solution of the problems faced in a

marriage?
i) Yes divorce is the ultimate solution
ii) Maybe not all, but it is justified in most cases
iii) No, divorce should be taken only in extreme situations
iv) Divorce is not a good solution
9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
0

8
5
3
0

Result: The result from this question was quite satisfactory and opinions were quite natural.
12. If you chose option (iii) or (iv) in question 11, please suggest what you think
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is the best solution: ______________________________________________

______________________________________________________________
Purpose: This question was given to see what people think is the best solution.

Summary of Research Findings

People value loyalty and trust greatly and they are the two main pillars of a marriage. Therefore
if a partner fails to satisfy any one of these qualities, it is likely to create problems in the couples
married life, people become more suspicious about their spouse and this may ultimately lead to
divorce. The research also shows that people do not live with their elders anymore. This means
that when the couples have an argument or misunderstanding, there is no third party to make
them realize where they have gone wrong. This results in the couples blaming each other rather
than accepting their own mistakes.
The obtained result for married people, which asks how often they argue, shows that most
couples face problems and disagree on matters very often. This is how problems develop
between them, and later lead to greater problems. And also there was very alarming and
surprising amount of people who said that considered ending their their marriage. In todays
urbanized society, adultery is a very common practice, as people visit more places and come
across more people, their loyalty towards their partner is threatened.
For couples to be happy together, it is very important that they are compatible, a lack of
compatibility is a major cause behind divorce, because this creates rift between them. Physical
abuse is not a common practice in urban couples, however it is a major cause of divorce in rural
areas where men abuse their wives, but in urban areas, abuse is present in the form of mental
abuse, where one tortures his/her partner mentally, for example: by blaming them all the time
19

and so on. Drinking and smoking are widespread problems nowadays due to increased levels of
stress; this is one reason that stimulates divorce.

Recommendations

In my research I have come across multiple suggestions that may help the couples to solve their
problems. These are being listed below:

Talking over or getting professional help to overcome the problems should be given
preference.

Greater awareness about the seriousness of the decision.

External help: marriage counseling, psychiatrists etc.

To keep trying.

They should communicate more.

Making adjustments and required changes.

Compromising is sometimes the only solution

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Conclusion

This research was carried out to establish the reasons behind the soaring divorce rates among
young couples these days. As mentioned in the hypothesis, it has been found in my research that
divorce rates today are increasing due to problems brought about my urbanization. The divorce
rate is particularly high among the young couples Being young at time of marriage is one of
the primary predictors of divorce. (Stewart & Brentano, 2007, p. 36). The top ten risk factors of
divorce include marrying without being sure, earning less and having divorced parents. However,
alongside the reasons, this research also focused on finding solutions to the problems young
couples are facing. Divorce is a problem with a solution, and not all problems should end in
divorce. Couples should cooperate to solve problems and there is no such formula for a happy
marriage, and neither is there any particular reason behind a bad marriage.

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Works Cited

1. Stewart, A.C. & Brentano, C. (2007). Divorce: Causes and consequences.

London: Yale University Press

2. Divorce at a young age: The Troubled. (1987). Retrieved August 8, 2009, from
http://www.nytimes.com/1987/01/12/style/divorce-at-a-young-age-the-troubled-20-s.html

3. The Divorce Magazine. (2008) Retrieved July 13, 2008, from

http://www.divorcemag.com

4. Web romance fuels divorce rise. Retrieved July 18, 2008, from
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/ik_news/3616136.stm

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5. Americas divorce rate is too LOW. Retrieved October 24, 2007, from
http://derekclontz.wordpress.com/2007/10/24/americas-divorce-is-too-low-says-expert/

6. Divorce rate falls to 26-year low as couples delay getting married. Retrieved August 30, 2008,
from
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/ol/news/uk/article4634170.ece

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