Katia Robert

Eng. 101/108
November 17, 2016

The Effect Of Music

Music...a form of enjoyment, a type of art, a way for one to express their feelings.

Comment [1]: Name, date, course, title?

Its been described as Mankind's greatest achievement and something the world
would be lost without. But is it true that music also has its part in the medical world or
Comment [2]: I like this move you made -- the
"I'm gonna pose a Q and use the A to introduce
my sources."

even the world of education? Well Jeanette Castro Hachmeister author of Music as a
Teaching Tool and Amy Novotney author of Music as medicine believe so. This is
something i believe 100% because music is a very powerful thing, especially with this

Comment [3]: In the last sentence of your

Intro, Kat, most/all readers are going to be
looking for your thesis statement -- this isn't a
thesis statement.

generation. Ive heard stories of people whove gone through depression and then say
that a certain musician and/or their music helped them deal with it. Or when people

What, exactly, are you going to be arguing

here? I need specifics! And what specific
points are you going to use to make that case?
What *about their different perspectives* will
you be analyzing, and what does that matter?
What ENG 101-108 concepts/vocab will you be
using?

whove had to go through chemo say that the music made them feel better, happier
even.
Music as a Teaching Tool is an article written by a woman named Jeanette

I need a clear roadmap, otherwise I won't know

where you'll be taking me and I'll have a hard
time following you.

Castro Hachmeister. Jeanette is a teacher at the Learning Center at Childs Voice

School. Childs Voice School is a school that focuses on listening and spoken language
for children who are deaf or hard hearing. She teaches Pre - k through kindergarten and
she was awarded the 2009 Golden Apple award that recognizes outstanding teachers in
Chicago. Music as Medicine is written by Amy Novotney a former nurse who now owns

Comment [4]: OK, so I like how you lay out a

general overview of both sources in this
paragraph -- can you tell me you're doing that in
the topic sentence of the paragraph?
Topic sentences are like mini-guides for
readers. It gives them a quick preview of what's
coming up.
Comment [5]: 2 "things"
1, This may be a personal pet peeve of mine,
but Id like to advise you to steer clear of
things in academic writing (maybe even all
writing!). Its suuuuuuper vague. Academic
writing requires precision and specificitybe
direct and tell me exactly what youre talking
about. Pick the 1 word that really captures the
idea(s) that you want to get across.

her own editorial business. She went to Northwestern University from 1998 - 2002 and
specializes in Communication, health writing, and psychology.
Amy talks about a lot of cool things, one thing that i found cool is when she was

2, Why are you telling me what you found cool?

Is that related to your main argument here? If
so, how?

talking about vibrations. She says vibrations absorbed through the body can help

Don't forget: EVERYTHING in this paper needs

to back up your argument. (I'm not sure what
your argument is at this point, so it's tough for
me to tell if/how this is relevant.)

ease the symptoms of Parkinsons disease, fibromyalgia, and depression. There is

also this thing that she talks about called Vibroacoustic therapy. It involves low
frequency sound - similar to a rumble - to produce vibrations that are applied directly to
the body.

The purpose of these articles is to explain the ways music is effective in the
medical world and in the world of education. Both women have very important roles and
want to share the knowledge theyve gained and the ways that they use music that was
found effective. With Music as Medicine Amy is writing about the ways that music is
used in hospitals whether it be before surgery or during treatments. She talks about how
before surgery or during treatment music will be played because it relaxes the patients.
Amy says Listening to music was also found to be more effective than prescription
drugs in reducing anxiety before surgery also playing music for kids during painful
medical procedures is a simple intervention that can make a big difference. Jeanette is
writing about how using music in her classroom has made a huge in the speech of the
children. She teaches the kids with stories and every story has a song. Jeanette says

Comment [6]: This is all nice to know, but

how does it relate to what we're studying?

Every story has a song and by the end of the semester the class sings about 10 songs.

I think you're going to have a hard time *writing

about writing* -- which is what this assignment
requires you to do -- if you don't utilize our
course concepts/vocab.

By giving every story having a song the students remember the story and she says it
gives the students words to express what happens in these stories and is a tool to help
the students comprehend key elements in the stories.

Comment [7]: A ton?

The authors both use a tone of moves in their articles, some are similar, and

It looks like you're going to be analyzing

"moves" here -- worth defining/describing what
you mean here?

some are different.Thats one thing I really liked about these articles, that they have

Also, this is coming up out of nowhere a bit -you didn't tell me (in the Intro) that you were
going to be analyzing moves...

their own unique moves and they have some of the same so theyre easy to compare
and contrast. One move that I found that the both of the authors use is they both quote
other authors a lot. Another move I found that Jeanette made that isnt very common is
2

Comment [8]: OK, *NOW WE'RE GETTING

THERE.* Your paper is really starting here,
which is both good (b/c you're getting cooking)
and not-so-good (because you have a lot of
random stuff/fluff before this).

she would talk about a certain song and include the song lyrics in the article after the
paragraph. For example of the songs that she includes in the article are The
Gingerbread Man and Blends (Blends are friends (snap, snap), Blends are
friends(snap, snap). Put two letters together. You hear both of them(snap, snap). Dr for
dress Sn for snake. Pl for plant St for star). Amy definitely went a little deeper into the
science of how music helps the patients, she talks about the experiments that have
happened and whats been tested and proven to work. Another move they both used it

Comment [9]: Are these moves related to

each other in this paragraph? Let me ask this
another way: why are you listing all of these
different moves together in this paragraph?

they both explained how the music works for them in their careers and with the patients
and students. Amy uses a lot of references in her article to show where she got her
information from. Jeanette also asks question in her article like How does a teacher
reach all five levels within one class period? Amy also gives an example of one of the
experiments that was tested. 78 preschoolers were divided into two groups with one

Comment [10]: Experiments? What

experiments?

receiving music instruction. The researchers tested music recognition would activate the

This could be really interesting -- does this give

you/us insight into her disciplinary perspective
at all? Tell me more!

same neural activities to those in spatial - underlying neural reasoning.

Comment [11]: Armadillo Roadkill.

Moves are a critical thing in writing. They are made no matter what article youre

Comment [12]: Think about your

organization/structure. Is it more/less effective
to put this *here* instead of somewhere else?

reading. No matter what its about, music, sport, cars, ect. The author of the article with

Comment [13]: I noticed that you have a

small tendency of writing incomplete sentences,
and this is oneit lacks a subject/noun (who or
what the sentence is about) and a
verb/predicate that, together, form a complete
thought. I strongly recommend that you check
out this resource:
http://writingcenter.unc.edu/handouts/sentencepatterns/. Incomplete sentences generally
arent valued in academic writing, although
theyre still common in creative writing,
magzine/op-eds, advertisements/slogans, etc.

make them. These two articles have so many moves that i probably left out, and so
many more things about them that make them different from each other. Like the most
blatantly obvious thing is the topics. Or the way that they were written. One is talking
more about the music and the lyrics and the other is talking more about how the music
help people.
The articles have a lot of credibility. They both give credit to the researchers they
got their information from. Amy gives credit to Daniel J. Levitin when saying while

Comment [14]: How does this

sentence/paragraph build off of the previous
sentence/paragraph? (It seems to come up out
of nowhere.)
Comment [15]: Ah ha, but is their more here?
What differences exist between these
researchers?

music has been long recognized as an effective form of therapy to provide an outlet for
emotions, the notion of using song, sound frequency and rhythm to treat physical
ailments is a relatively new domain. Jeanette gives credit to OKeefe & Nadel by saying
These systems need to develop in a stress - free yet novel environment where the
learner can pattern current stimulation into embedded natural spatial memory and their
constantly engaged register of experiences into three dimensional space.

Comment [16]: ... And? So what? Why is

this important/relevant?

So to compare the articles from my perspective, obviously Amys is a scholarly

article. Not just because it says it at the very top of the page, but because you can just
tell from all of the scientific evidence that she gives when talking about Vibroacoustic
therapy or even about frequency. Jeanette on the other hand, not to say hers isnt a
scholarly article, but hers doesnt give as much evidence. All she really does is give the

Comment [17]: What kind of evidence? How

is the evidence that they use different? And
what insights can we gain from that -- how does
their evidence show us what they value and
think is important when it comes to
understanding the effects of music?

stories they read in her class and the songs that go with them and then she credits
some of the people that give her the ideas. Both women make strong impacts with their
methods.
To conclude, I feel as if these articles are could attract a very large audience. An
audience of different people. Because there are so many genres of music and not just
one type of person listens to one type of music. I chose the topic of the effects that
music has on people because its something Ive loved since i was very young and i
wanted to know just how powerful music was. Once i found these articles it caught my
interest and i thought that other people who shared my love for music would like to read
about it. Amy and Jeanette two different women that have two different life changing
careers neither have a bigger role than the other. I still have questions though. Like is
there a certain type of music that should be played in the hospitals? Or why were only

preschool kids tested with music to see if it helped them learn better? Wouldnt it be
more effective to try it on older kids in grades 4 - 12 maybe? I for sure have to keep
looking for things to answer the questions that are still running through my mind.
1. "Music as a Teaching Tool." Music as a Teaching Tool | AG Bell | Listening and Spoken
Language. N.p., n.d. Web. 21 Nov. 2016.
2. Novotney, Amy. "Music as Medicine." Http://www.apa.org/monitor/2013/11/music.aspx. N.p.,
n.d. Web. 21 Nov. 2016.