HamiltonPaper1Summary.

docx
by April Hamilton

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HAMILT ONPAPER1SUMMARY.DOCX (22.55K)

T IME SUBMIT T ED

12-SEP-2016 02:23PM

WORD COUNT

558

SUBMISSION ID

704302669

CHARACT ER COUNT

3068

cit at ion f ormat

Frag.

cit at ion f ormat

cit e summary

cit at ion f ormat

3
cit at ion f ormat
cit at ion f ormat

cit e summary

Frag.

cit at ion f ormat

WC page

HamiltonPaper1Summary.docx
ORIGINALITY REPORT

10

SIMILARIT Y INDEX

2%

0%

10%

INT ERNET SOURCES

PUBLICAT IONS

ST UDENT PAPERS

PRIMARY SOURCES

1
2
3

4%

Submitted to Georgia Gwinnett College

St udent Paper

Submitted to Oakland Community College

St udent Paper

2%

www.thenewatlantis.com
Int ernet Source

EXCLUDE QUOT ES

OFF

EXCLUDE
BIBLIOGRAPHY

OFF

3%

EXCLUDE MAT CHES

OFF

HamiltonPaper1Summary.docx
GRADEMARK REPORT
FINAL GRADE

GENERAL COMMENTS

/80

Instructor
April,
T his is a good draf t, especially considering that you
didn't go through the peer review process. You did a
nice job of picking out the supporting points and
identif ying what is most important. However, your
introduction should include a thesis statement that
addresses the main argument of the article. Every
paragraph should have a topic sentence that
connects to that thesis statement, and the
conclusion should connect both to the thesis and
the introduction as a whole. Here are a f ew other
things to consider:
-you need citations f ollowing all direct quotations
and summarized inf ormation (MLA f ormat)
-you need a work cited page--this is very important
-you need to proof read f or grammar and
punctuation

Let me know if you have questions. You will revise

this paper f or the f inal portf olio, and it is a good
idea to get started on that sooner rather than later.
--JL

PAGE 1

Comment 1
Your heading should not include "Paper 1 Summary".
Also, you need an original title instead of the article title.
Your page numbers should change with each page--I know you had a question about how to do
that.
Finally, you have extra spaces af ter paragraphs --go to line spacing options and make sure

there are 0 spaces listed af ter and bef ore.

Comment 2
T his is good background, but your introduction also needs to include the main argument of
Cullington. What is her argument? T his should be clearly included in your thesis statement,
which is typically at the end of the introduction.
QM

citation f ormat
Citations should be f ormatted as indicated in the handbook:
(Cullington 361).

QM

Frag.
Fragment:
A sentence f ragment is a phrase or clause that is in some way incomplete. Such f ragments
become problematic when they attempt to stand alone as a complete sentence. T he most
common version of this mistake occurs when a writer mistakes a gerund (a verb that acts like a
noun) f or a main verb, as in the f ollowing sentence: "In bed reading Shakespeare f rom dusk to
dawn."

QM

citation f ormat
Citations should be f ormatted as indicated in the handbook:
(Cullington 361).

QM

cite summary
You need to cite all summarized inf ormation in addition to citing all direct quotations. Every
paragraph, regardless of whether you include a direct quotation, should have a citation at the
end of summary.

PAGE 2

QM

citation f ormat
Citations should be f ormatted as indicated in the handbook:
(Cullington 361).

Comment 3
T his sentence is awkwardly constructed bef ore the quotation. Consider revising the wording.
QM

citation f ormat
Citations should be f ormatted as indicated in the handbook:

(Cullington 361).
QM

citation f ormat
Citations should be f ormatted as indicated in the handbook:
(Cullington 361).

QM

cite summary
You need to cite all summarized inf ormation in addition to citing all direct quotations. Every
paragraph, regardless of whether you include a direct quotation, should have a citation at the
end of summary.

Comment 4
T his is the main argument, and it should be established within the introduction.
QM

Frag.
Fragment:
A sentence f ragment is a phrase or clause that is in some way incomplete. Such f ragments
become problematic when they attempt to stand alone as a complete sentence. T he most
common version of this mistake occurs when a writer mistakes a gerund (a verb that acts like a
noun) f or a main verb, as in the f ollowing sentence: "In bed reading Shakespeare f rom dusk to
dawn."

QM

citation f ormat
Citations should be f ormatted as indicated in the handbook:
(Cullington 361).

Comment 5
Verb tense--make sure that you have subject/verb agreement. Cullington also knows...
abbreviations in f ormal writing are unacceptable...

Also, is she talking about herself knowing that abbreviations are unacceptable or students
knowing?
PAGE 3

Comment 6
You need to end with a concluding paragraph that rephrases the main argument and connects
to the introduction. T he conclusion should not contain new inf ormation.

QM

WC page
Your works cited page should be a separate page. T he top should have "Work Cited" centered
and then be f ollowed with this entry. T he entry should f ollow the MLA f ormat exactly and be
double spaced and reverse indented.
Additional Comment
T he works cited entry should f ollow pg. 211 #20.