Jenn Islam

Cognitive Paper
Miami University

Cognitive Paper
While I had been questioning my parents decisions and values in correlation with the
faith of Islam since the beginning of high school, I also had taken others words of theirs to heart.
Ive visited crossroads in various aspects of my life. In this paper, I focus in on my experience
with the idea of drinking alcohol in different cultures and analyze this in correspondence with
crossroads and meaning making, both of which are introduced by Baxter Magolda & King.
In the Bengali culture, one is to respect their elders. Respect comes in many forms and
holds a different meaning for every culture. In the Bengali culture, respect means to take
everything that that comes from the mouths of the elders to heart. Respect means to believe
elders and listen to them as they say. Questioning is considered disrespectful, because one is seen
as challenging a viewpoint as opposed to accepting the perspective. Questioning insinuates that I
do not believe that my elders have my best interests at heart. With that mentality, I believed
everything that my parents and my siblings had passed down on to me. I relied on them and their
input for the ways of the world. I was raised to believe that the external meaning making is the
only process I need to guide my life (Baxter and King, 2012). I did not formulate my own
opinions, because I relied on theirs and I received backlash whenever I did challenge their
thoughts. I was conditionally trained to believe that I should not question others and take things
as is from my elders.
The questioning process, for me, emerged early in high school, when I was still under my
parents roof. They were little things. Why does my father have to take me to school everyday?
Why should I be ashamed of my period? Why do I have to pray all five prayers of the day? My
parents gave me answers to these questions which satisfied my curiosity at the time, but their

remarks also gave me more things to question. The questioning process greatly escalated during
my time in undergrad.
I entered crossroads in undergrad when I decided to experiment with drinking. To enter
crossroads is to question your way of thinking and current knowledge and how external forces
influence you, but are still unable to overcome these influences. One of my RA staff members
first introduced me to the concept of drinking and my first time being in the same vicinity of
alcohol. She poured me a mixed drink of coconut rum and fruit punch. I held the red solo cup in
my hand and smelled the drink. I swished it back and forth for a while. We played a game of
Kings and when it was my turn to drink, I couldn't bring myself to it. I felt morally wrong. She
was surprised by my sudden mood change, as was I. Another friend suggested switching the
drink out for water, which I was much more comfortable with.
I left crossroads when I embarked on my journey to Europe, and decided to enroll in a
wine course. I studied abroad in Florence, Italy, during the spring semester of my junior year.
When I went to Italy, I questioned a lot of what I was already taught. For instance, drinking
alcohol had always been taught to me as a sin. In the Islamic culture, alcohol is seen as a toxin.
Because the religion and the people who practice the faith are to be pure, we are also to devoid
ourselves of anything impure. This includes topics as controversial as sex before marriage,
abortion, tattoos, and the list truly goes on. To intentionally drink alcohol is be to allow my pure
body to willingly accept the toxins set forth from the world.
However, in Florence, not only was I legal, but drinking is also a part of the culture.
Drinking, wine in particular, was a major part of the culture. I decided to go on this journey for a
variety of reasons, including cultural immersion. I knew that I didn't have to drink wine if it was
against my morals, but I didn't feel like it was. I was curious. I wanted to experiment. I felt safe

to experiment here, especially because I chose to take a wine course. My professor often related
wine to life. He taught me that we are so quick to drench our throats with alcohol that we miss
the flavor and experience. He taught me that sipping wine, as opposed to engulfing it, is the
chance to experience the flavor; and in relation to life, to slow down and experience life and
what it has to offer. Part of me felt so guilty because this, taking a wine course and drinking
alcohol, was going against everything I was taught. I didn't know anyone here that would
immediately report back to my parents; therefore, I decided that playing with alcohol would be
best here, where it is a part of the culture and I am far removed from my parents geographically.
I learned that alcohol does not have an effect on my character. Every sip and shot has a
purpose, and only the individual themself can formulate that purpose; whether it is to taste, to
enhance the flavor of dinner, to get drunk, to feel buzzed, to compensate for sorrows, or anything
else. Alcohol is a tool that can be utilized or manipulated as pleased. I understand that it can have
detrimental effects to the body, but so does fast food and my parents are not as quick to dismiss
McDonalds. I don't mean to equate the two entirely, but I recognize that my parents are okay
with one toxin over another. I reached my internal meaning making, and am finally able to trust
my internal voice in regards to alcohol (Baxter and King, 2012). I know my parents would not
approve, so I haven't told them of my experience with alcohol yet, and I dont intend on it.
To continue developing cognitively, I want to challenge myself. I want to push myself in
stepping outside of my comfort zone. I want to question my thoughts and beliefs. I feel like that
will have one of two outcomes - I will either gain a stronger foundation on my beliefs, or I will
formulate a new opinion on the topic. I recognize that it can be difficult to question myself when
I have an obvious bias to my thoughts. Therefore, I plan on implementing such through
surrounding myself with peers who help me challenge my thoughts. My cohort will be incredibly

helpful with this. I feel like everyone in my cohort has an interesting take on every issue and
every situation, and I truly enjoy listening to it all because I learn so much more about the topic
at hand and how it can be interpreted by so many different people. Another way I plan on
implementing this is by pushing myself to speak up more in class. I recognize that everyone has
something to bring to the table, including myself. By speaking up, I am encouraging growth in
myself and boosting my self esteem and confidence. More importantly, I am contributing to the
culture of knowledge. I am challenging my thoughts as well as everyone elses. This is all easier
said than done, but definitely having it written in this paper may encourage me as well.

References
Baxter Magolda, M. B., & King, P. M. (2012). Assessing meaning making and self-authorship:
Theory, research, and application. ASHE Higher Education Report, 38(3). San Francisco: CA:
Jossey-Bass. [pp. 53-99]