VIETNAM NATIONAL UNIVERSITY, HANOI

UNIVERSITY OF LANGUAGES AND INTERNATIONAL STUDIES

FACULTY OF POST-GRADUATE STUDIES
--------

HONG TH HNG NGA

A TRANSLATION QUALITY ASSESSMENT OF THE

VIETNAMESE VERSION OF THE BOOK HARRY
POTTER AND THE PHILOSOPHERS STONE IN THE
SERIES HARRY POTTER USING NEWMARKS MODEL
(nh gi cht lng bn dch ting Vit truyn Harry Potter v hn
ph thy trong tiu thuyt Harry Potter p dng m hnh ca
Newmark)

M.A. MINOR PROGRAMME THESIS

Field: English Linguistics

Code: 60.22.02.01

HANOI, 2014

VIETNAM NATIONAL UNIVERSITY, HANOI

UNIVERSITY OF LANGUAGES AND INTERNATIONAL STUDIES
FACULTY OF POST-GRADUATE STUDIES
--------

HONG TH HNG NGA

A TRANSLATION QUALITY ASSESSMENT OF THE

VIETNAMESE VERSION OF THE BOOK HARRY
POTTER AND THE PHILOSOPHERS STONE IN THE
SERIES HARRY POTTER USING NEWMARKS MODEL
(nh gi cht lng bn dch ting Vit truyn Harry Potter v hn
ph thy trong tiu thuyt Harry Potter p dng m hnh ca
Newmark)

M.A. MINOR PROGRAMME THESIS

Field: English Linguistics

Code: 60.22.02.01
Supervisor: Assoc. Prof. Dr. L Hng Tin

HANOI, 2014

DECLARATION OF AUTHORSHIP

I hereby state that the thesis entitled A translation quality assessment of the
book Harry Potter and the Philosophers stone in the series Harry Potter
using Newmarks model and the work presented in it is entirely my own for
the Degree of Master of Arts at University of Languages and International
Studies, Vietnam National University, Hanoi, and this work has not been
submitted for any degree at any other university or tertiary institution.

Hanoi, July 2014

Student

Hong Th Hng Nga

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

First and foremost I would like to express my sincerest gratitude to my

supervisor, Assoc. Prof. Dr. Le Hung Tien, for the continuous support of my
study with his patience, motivation, enthusiasm, and immense knowledge. I
owe him a debt of gratitude that cannot be measured.
I also wish to acknowledge my debt to all the teachers of the
Department of Post Graduate Studies at College of Foreign Languages,
Vietnam National University for their useful lectures, assistance and
enthusiasm during my course.
Last but not least, I am grateful to my parents and all my family, from
whom I have received a lot of valuable support and encouragement.
On the whole, without all these help my thesis would not have possibly
been completed.

ii

ABSTRACT
There is a fact that there have been more and more literary translations
due to the process of globalization. Therefore, it is necessary to control the
quality of the translation so that the readers can enjoy the best of the foreign
literary works. This thesis is an attempt to assess the quality of a literary
translation, specifically chapter seven The sorting hat excerpting from the
novel Harry Potter and the Philosophers stone, basing on the schema of
Translation Quality Assessment proposed by Newmark. By this way, the
writer has found out that the translation has obtained a certain success.
However, it still reveals some mismatches between the source text and the
target text especially in terms of semantics. In addition, some other mistakes
which may affect the conciseness of the translation are also pointed out. From
the basis of the findings, some implications are made along with suggestions
for further studies.

iii

LIST OF ABBREVIATIONS

ST: Source Text

TT: Target Text
SL: Source Language
TL: Target Language

iv

LIST OF TABLES

Table 1: Omission and addition in the translation .......................................... 18

Table 2: Comparing two versions in terms of the titles ................................. 19
Table 3: Comparing two versions in terms of paragraphing ......................... 21
Table 4: Comparing two versions in terms of relative clauses ....................... 23
Table 5: Comparing two versions in terms of passive and active forms ....... 24
Table 6: Comparing two versions in terms of pronouns and proper names ... 25
Table 7: Comparing two versions in terms of idioms .................................... 27
Table 8: Comparing two versions in terms of word choice and expression ... 30
Table 9: Mistakes in the translation in terms of grammar and meaning......... 33

TABLE OF CONTENTS
DECLARATION OF AUTHORSHIP .............................................................................................i
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS .............................................................................................................ii
ABSTRACT .....................................................................................................................................iii
LIST OF ABBREVIATIONS ..........................................................................................................iv
LIST OF TABLES ...........................................................................................................................v
TABLE OF CONTENTS .................................................................................................................vi
PART A. INTRODUCTION
1. Rationale for the study ..............................................................................................................1
2. Objective of the study ...............................................................................................................1
3. Research questions ....................................................................................................................2
4. Scope of the study .....................................................................................................................2
5. Method of the study ..................................................................................................................2
6. Organization of the study ..........................................................................................................3
PART B. DEVELOPMENT
CHAPTER 1. LITERATURE REVIEW
1.1. Translation Theory ..............................................................................................................4
1.1.1. Definition of Translation ...............................................................................................4
1.1.2. Translation Methods......................................................................................................4
1.1.3. Translation Equivalence ................................................................................................5
1.2. Contrastive Analysis ...........................................................................................................7
1.3. Translation Quality Assessment .........................................................................................8
1.3.1. Definition .....................................................................................................................8
1.3.2. Translation Quality Assessment models ......................................................................9
1.3.2.1. Response-based approach ......................................................................................9
1.3.2.2. Text-based approach .............................................................................................10
1.3.2.3. Julianne Houses functional pragmatic approach..................................................12

vi

1.3.2.4. Newmarks comprehensive criticism approach .......................................................13

CHAPTER 2 APPLICATION OF NEWMARKS MODEL FOR TRANSLATION
QUALITY ASSESSMENT OF CHAPTER SEVEN OF HARRY POTTER AND THE
PHILOSOPHERS STONE
2.1. Step 1: A brief analysis of the SL text stressing its intention and its functional aspects ....16
2.2. Step 2: the translators interpretation of the SL texts purpose, his translation method and
the translations likely readership ....................................................................................................17
2.3. Step 3: A selective but representative detailed comparison of the translation with the
original .............................................................................................................................................19
2.4. Step 4: An evaluation of the translation ...............................................................................31
2.4.1. An evaluation of the translation in the translators term ...............................................31
2.4.2. An evaluation of the translation in the critics term ......................................................35
2.4.3. Assess the translation as a piece of writing, independently of its original ....................35
2.5. An assessment of the likely place of the translation in the target language culture or
discipline ..........................................................................................................................................36
PART C. CONCLUSION
1. Concluding remarks .................................................................................................................37
2. Limitations of the study and suggestions for further studies....................................................38
REFERENCES ...............................................................................................................................39

vii

PART A. INTRODUCTION
1. Rationale for the study
Translation is not merely an interlinguistic process. It is more
complex than replacing source language text with target language text and
includes cultural and educational nuances that can shape the options and
attitudes of recipients. (Dingwaney and Maier, 1995). Translation performs a
crucial role in our understanding and lives as the globe seems smaller than
ever before based on information sharing and communicative advances. Thus,
not only linguists or scholars but many people who work in different fields
are concerned about translation. Translation is not an easy work, it is even
more challenging for translators with literary works. Nowadays in Vietnam,
there is a rapid growth of famous foreign literary works which have
diversified the literature. It can not be denied that there is a number of works
that have received love and positive attitude from readers. Besides, there still
exist some works of bad quality which have received criticism from both
publication and profession. Thus, there is necessary to evaluate the
translations, especially literary works.
There are criteria for translation quality assessment which have been
addressed by different linguists such as Nida, J.House, Newmark. From the
writers point of view, among the suggested models, Newmarks model is a
good one which can be used to assess translation quality. The writer has taken
the translation version of the book Harry Potter and the Philosophers
stone by Ly Lan in the series Harry Potter by J.K Rowling to measure how
good the translation is.
2. Objective of the study
This study aims to make a comparison and analyze the ST and the TT
according to Newmarks model to assess the quality of the Vietnamese

translation of chapter seven in the book Harry Potter and the Philosophers
stone, find out some problems of literary translations and draw some
suggestions for this field of translation.
3. Research questions
At the end of this study, the study will answer the following questions:
-

How good is the Vietnamese version of chapter seven of the book

Harry Potter and the Philosophers stone according to Newmarks model?

-

What might be some implications from the translation?

4. Scope of the study

Harry Potter is a famous series all over the world. It includes seven
books corresponding seven adventures of Harry Potter in Hogwarts school
of wizardry. Since the release of the first novel, Harry Potter and the
Philosopher's Stone, the books have gained immense popularity, critical
acclaim and commercial success worldwide. The series has been translated
into 67 languages, placing Rowling among the most translated authors in
history. With such a limit set out at the beginning of the study, all the analysis
and comparison between the ST and the TT is only restricted in chapter seven
of the book. As referred to earlier, Newmarks model is adopted to assess the
quality of the translation in this research.
5. Method of the study
The research utilizes qualitative design. Moreover, descriptive and contrastive
techniques are employed to evaluate the translation text. The original text will be
read thoroughly and comprehensively then the ST will be compared to its
translation according to five steps of Newmarks model:
1. A brief analysis of the SL text stressing its intention and its
functional aspects

2. The translator's interpretation of the SL texts purpose, his translation

method and the translations likely readership
3. A selective but representative detailed comparison of the translation
with the original
4. The evaluation of the translation: (a) in the translators term, (b) in
the critics term
5. Where appropriate, an assessment of the likely place of the
translation in the target language culture or discipline
6. Organization of the study
The study is presented in 3 parts:
Part A is the introduction which includes the rationale for the study, the
objective, the research questions, the scope, the method as well as the
organization of the study.
Part B includes 2 chapters. In chapter one, the Literature Review in
which some related concepts of literary translation, contrastive analysis and
typical models of translation quality assessment are discussed. In the second
chapter, the writer will apply Newmarks model with five steps to analyze and
evaluate the translation.
Part C is the conclusion including the conclusions, implications,
limitations and suggestions for further study.

PART B. DEVELOPMENT
CHAPTER 1: LITERATURE REVIEW
This chapter presents the theoretical background of the study including
some related concepts and typical models of translation quality assessment.
1.1. Translation theory
1.1.1 Definition of translation
There have been different definitions of translation so far. According to
Newmark (1981) translation is a craft consisting in the attempt to replace a
written message and/or statement in one language by the same message
and/or statement in another language. House (1977) states that translation is
the replacement of a text in the source language by a semantically and
pragmatically equivalent text in the target language. Sharing the same point of
view, Cartford (1965) defines translation as the replacement of a text in one
language (source language) by an equivalent in another language (target
language). The definitions of translation are diverse; however, they all share
the same sense that translation does not refer to language as a system but
language in use. Furthermore, the preservation of semantic, pragmatic and
textual aspects of meaning across two different languages needs emphasizing
in translation.
1.1.2. Translation methods
Basing on Newmarks classification, there are eight methods in
translating as follow
SL emphasis
Word-for-word translation
Literal translation
Faithful translation
Semantic translation

TL emphasis
Adaptation
Free translation
Idiomatic translation
Communicative translation

- Word for word translation: The SL word is translated into another language
by their most common meanings, which can be out of context at times.
- Literal translation: The SL grammatical constructions are translated to their
nearest TL but the lexical words are translated singly, out of context.
- Faithful translation: The SL text is reproduced in its precise contextual
meaning under the constraints of the TL grammatical structures.
- Semantic translation: is the process of using semantic information to aid in
translation of data in one representation to another representation. Semantic
translation refers to that type of translation which takes into account the
aesthetic value of the SL text.
- Adaption: The text is rewritten considering the SL culture which is
converted to the TL where the themes, characters and plots are preserved.
- Free translation: It reproduces the matter without the manner or the content
without the form of the original.
- Idiomatic translation: It reproduces the message of the original and prefers
colloquialisms and idioms which do not exist in the original.
- Communicative translation: The exact contextual meaning of the original is
rendered in such a way that both content and language are readily acceptable
and comprehensible to the readership.
Among the above-mentioned methods, semantic and communicative
translation are the two most common ones which are often used in literary
translation.
1.1.3. Translation equivalence
In translation theory, equivalence is regarded as a central concept.
According to Pym (1992) equivalence is supposed to define translation, and
translation, in turn, defines equivalence. Equivalence is a relationship
between two texts in two languages, rather than between the languages
themselves.
5

From Nidas point of view, there are two typical equivalences, namely
formal equivalence and dynamic equivalence. The terms "dynamic
equivalence" and "formal equivalence" were originally coined to describe
ways of translating the Bible, but the two approaches are applicable to any
translation of any text. The first one centers on the form and content of the
message of the ST whereas dynamic equivalence is the "quality of a
translation in which the message of the original text has been so transported
into the receptor language that the response of the receptor is essentially like
that of the original receptors."
Baker (1992) extends the concept of equivalence to cover similarity in
ST and TT information flow and in the cohesive roles that ST and TT devices
play in their respective texts. She explores equivalence at different levels in
relation to the translation process such as grammatical, textual and pragmatic
aspects. Equivalence can appear at word level and above word level, when
translating from one language into another. Concerning grammatical
equivalence, she notes that grammatical rules may vary across languages and
this may pose some problems in terms of finding a direct correspondence in
the TL. Among these grammatical devices which might cause problems in
translation Baker focuses on number, tense and aspects, voice, person and
gender. With regard to textual equivalence, it refers to the equivalence
between a SL text and a TL text in terms of information and cohesion.
Texture is a very important feature in translation since it provides useful
guidelines for the comprehension and analysis of the ST which can help the
translator in his or her attempt to produce a cohesive and coherent text for the
TC audience in a specific context. Finally, pragmatic equivalence refers to
implicatures and strategies of avoidance during the translation process.

Koller (1979) categorizes equivalence into five types. According to the

scholar, there are five factors which can be argued to play a relevant role in
the specification of equivalence type. These five factors are also the five types
of equivalence. The first one is denotative equivalence in which the SL and
TL words refer to the same thing in the real world. This is the referential
identity between SL and TL units. Besides denotative value, SL and TL words
should produce the same communicative values in the mind of native
speakers of the two languages or the equivalence transmitted by specific
choices between synonymous expressions with respect to level of style
(register), the social and geographical dimension, frequency, etc. It is called
connotative equivalence. The third type is text-normative equivalence in
which The SL and TL words using the same or similar text types in their
respective languages. Fourthly, the receiver/ reader to whom the translation is
directed so as to achieve an intended effect determines pragmatic equivalence
type. The last type is formal equivalence in which the SL and TL having the
same formal-aesthetic features-orthographic or phonological features, etc.
1.2. Contrastive analysis
Contrastive Analysis has attracted many linguists with countless
debates. One of the most well-known definitions for contrastive analysis is
offered by Lado, R. In Linguistics Across Cultures. He claimed that "those
elements which are similar to [the learner's] native language will be simple
for him, and those elements that are different will be difficult" (1957).
Another definition is introduced by James (1980). In his point of view,
contrastive analysis is not concerned with classification, and, as the term
contrastive implies, it focuses on the difference between languages than in
their likenesses. Furthermore, contrastive analysis investigates the differences
between pairs (or small sets) of

languages against the background of

similarities and with the purpose of providing input to applied disciplines

such as foreign language teaching and translation studies. With its largely
descriptive focus contrastive linguistics provides an interface between theory
and application. It makes use of theoretical findings and models of language
description but is driven by the objective of applicability. (Gast, V. 2011).
Contrastive analysis, therefore, is defined as a linguistic enterprise
aimed at producing inverted two-valued typologies (it is always concerned
with a pair of languages), and founded on the assumption that languages can
be compared.
1.3. Translation Quality Assessment
1.3.1 Definition
Newmark (1995) regards translation criticism or translation quality
assessment as a crucial link between translation theory and its practice and as
the keystone of any course in comparative literature, or literature in
translation, and a component of any professional translation course with the
appropriate text-types as an exercise for criticism and discussion. There is a
variety of definition on translation criticism. According to McAlester(1999),
translation criticism consists in stating the appropriateness of a translation,
which naturally also implies a value judgment, which need not however be a
quantified one, though it should perhaps explicitly justified for it to be of any
value. To be more comprehensive, Hewson (2011) says that translation
quality assessment attempts to set out the interpretative potential of a
translation seen in the light of an establish interpretative frame work whose
origin lies in the source text. Furthermore, translation criticism is
evaluative, in that as it explores a translations interpretative potential, it looks
at degrees of similarity to or divergence from the source texts perceived
interpretative potential.

Concerning the assessment of translations, House (1997) has already

raised a question: How do we know when a translation is good?. There are
some ideas expressing the views to evaluate a translation.
Anecdotal reflections on the merits and weaknesses of translation have
been offered by generations of professional translators, poets and writers,
philologists and philosophers. The status and relative weight of criteria such as the
faithfulness to the original, retention of the originals special flavour,
preservation of the spirit of the source language as opposed to concentrating on
a natural flow of the translated text and the pleasure and delight of the reader of
the translation have been discussed at great length. (House , 1997). She also
points out that most of the anecdotal approaches to the evaluation of translation
emphasize the belief that the quality of a translation depends largely on the
translators subjective interpretation and transfer decisions, which are based on his
linguistic and cultural intuitive knowledge and experience. However, determining
whether the translation is good or not should be based on a special model of
quality translation assessment, not on the human feelings or factors. Thus, in the
next part, some of the outstanding quality translation assessment models will be
presented with the aim to provide necessary information before applying the
model to evaluate the translated version of the novel.
1.3.2. Translation Quality Assessment models
1.3.2.1 Response based approach
As mentioned in the previous part, most of the anecdotal approaches to
the evaluation of translation base on the translators linguistic and cultural
intuitive knowledge and experiences. We can state that these approach are
unenlightening, as they represent a narrow and selective view of translation
one-sidedly emphasizing one aspect of translation :the process of
comprehension and interpretation on the part of the translator.

Another view for translation quality assessment is response based.

One of the representatives of this approach is Nida. Nidas three criteria for
assessing the quality of a translation are programmatic and general :
1.general efficiency of the communication process, 2. comprehension of
intent, 3. equivalence of response. The third and most important criterion is,
of course, closely related to Nidas well-known basic principle of Dynamic
(or Functional) Equivalence of a Translation, the manner in which receptors
of the translation text respond to the translation text must be equivalent to the
manner in which receptors of the translation text respond to the source text.
Three similar criteria are suggested by Nida and Taber (1969): the correctness
with which the receptors understand the message of the original, the ease of
comprehension and the involvement a person experiences as a result of the
adequacy of the form of the translation. Again, these behavioral criteria need to
be further explained and put to the practical test: the crucial question then
remains whether the responses in question can be measured. Nida and Taber
themselves suggested some practical tests. However, each of the test has its
own shortcomings. The major weakness of all response-based suggestions for
translation evaluation, as J. House analyzed, is the weakness of all behaviourcentered approached : the black box, the human mind is not taken into
account, such that, for instance, tests involving expert judges, must take criteria
for granted that need to be developed and made explicit in the first place.
1.3.2.2. Text-based approach
In this approach, the source text, its linguistic and textual structure and
its meaning potential at various levels (including the level of context of
situation in a systemic framework), is seen as the most important, indeed
constitutive factor in translation. Koller (1974) introduced three steps for
translation quality assessment. The first step is to consider the transferability

10

of the original text. If the original text is transferable, we have the most
equivalent translation. If the original text is untransferable, we have no
equivalence or no translation is made. The source text should be remained the
same. The second step is to re-translate the target text into the source
language. A translation is acceptable if the target text is similar in meaning
with the source text after it is re-translated. Finally, the third step is to have
the translation proof-read by native speakers of the target language. A
translation must satisfy readers as native speakers of the target language.
Although presenting insightful, original and stimulating ideas, Koller does not
go beyond a very general outline with no suggestions for operationalization.
Reisss work (1970) is based on the concept of equivalence, but
considers the text, rather than the word or sentence, as the level at which
communication is achieved and at which equivalence must be sought. Reisss
functional approach aims primarily to systematize translation evaluation.
Reiss believes that the transmission of the predominant function of the
source text is the determining factor by which the target text is judged and
proposes specific translation methods according to text type. She suggested
that different types of texts can be differentiated to the basis of three functions
of language : content-oriented texts, e.g.news, scientific-technical texts, formoriented texts, such as poems and literary genres, and conative texts, e.g.
advertisements and texts of a persuasive bent. The determination of the
textual types presupposes a careful analysis of the source text, but the
suggestions are not explicit enough, she gives no clear indication as to how
one should go about establishing language functions and a source text types.
Further, at what level of delicacy this can and should be done is left
unexplained. Thus, it needs to be further developed and made more concrete
in order to form a workable model of translation quality assessment.

11

1.3.2.3. Julianne Houses functional pragmatic approach

House (1977) is in favour of semantic and pragmatic equivalence and
argues that source text and target text should match one another in function. She
gives a model for translation quality assessment which is based on pragmatic
theories of language. It attempts to avoid anecdotalism, reductionism,
programmatic statements and intuitively implausible one-sided considerations of
the source text and target text alone. The key point in her model is to compare
function of the source text and the target text; therefore, to understand her model,
it is necessary to understand function of an individual text which is different
from function of language. She states that the function of a text is the
application or use which the text has in the context of a situation. The function
consisting of an ideational and interpersonal functional component is equivalent
to that of the original. An initial analysis of the original according to a set of
situational dimensions for which linguistic correlates are established will be
made. Then, there will be a comparison of both the originals and the
translations textual profits and functions. In this comparison, some mismatches
will occur. Any mismatch along the dimensions is an error which is then
categorized into covertly erroneous errors and overtly erroneous errors.
1) Covertly erroneous errors: those which result from a mismatch in one
situational dimension
2) Overtly erroneous errors: those which result from a non-dimensional
mismatch. Such errors can be divided into:
- Breaches of the target language system
- Mistakes in the denotative meanings in source text and target text
The final stage in Houses model is to list both covertly and overtly
erroneous errors and a statement of the relative match of the two functional
components is made.

12

In her revisited model, she gives a clearer scheme for analyzing and
comparing original and translation texts. In general, the application of her
new model enables us to examine a text on four different levels: Function,
Register and Language.
According to Le. (2006), the model of House has a clear linguistically
theoretical base and concrete, detailed steps. However, this model also
requires linguistic knowledge and high occupational skills of the critics and
the criticism mainly aims at researching languages and translation. Therefore,
this model has not been applied widely and just at experimental level in
translation studies.
1.3.2.4. Newmarks comprehensive criticism approach
Newmark was an English professor of translation. In his book a text
book of translation (1995), he presents his own model for translation quality
assessment called comprehensive criticism of a translation including five
steps :
1. A brief analysis of the SL text stressing its intention and its functional
aspects
2. The translator's interpretation of the SL texts purpose, his translation
method and the translations likely readership
3. A selective but representative detailed comparison of the translation with
the original
4. The evaluation of the translation: (a) in the translators term, (b) in the
critics term
5. Where appropriate, an assessment of the likely place of the translation in
the target language culture or discipline
In the first step, the critic has to try to point out the authors purpose,
that is, the attitude he takes towards the topic; characterization of the readers

13

that the literary work aims at ; an indication of its category and type. The
critic assesses the quality of the language to determine the translators degree
of license. In this step, the critic can briefly state the topic or themes but
avoids retelling the plot. He also doesnt need to spend time discussing the
authors life, other works unless they may help to understand the text.
In the second step, the critic attempts to see the text from the point of
view of the translator, is sometimes overlooked in translation criticism. The
critic has to review whether the translator has omitted any section of the
original text and whether it affects the message that author wishes to express.
Moreover, it is important to find out if any text is over-translated and to what
extent the cultural meaning of the original text has been changed or
transferred to the target culture. In interpreting the translators intention and
procedures, the critic tries not to criticize but to find out why he has used
these procedures. Finally, in any event, the critic empathizes with the
translator and distinguish between incompetence (inadequate knowledge of
source and/or topic) and a translation method which may be too idiomatic or
too academic for his own tastes but which appears consistent.
The third step is the heart of the critique. The critic considers how the
translator has solved the particular problems of the source language text. He
has to group them under heads such as the title, the structure, including the
paragraphing and sentence connectives; shifts; metaphors; cultural words;
translationese; proper names... In this step, the critique should consist of a
discussion of translation problems and not quick recipes for a correct or a
better translation. Normally, in this section, the critic has to choose the most
selective and representative examples of the achievements and weaknesses of
the translated version in comparison with the original text.

14

Fourthly, the critic will evaluate the referential and pragmatic accuracy
of the translation at three levels: first by the translators standards, second by
the critics standards, and last as a piece of writing, independently of its
original. In the first two criteria, besides evaluating the achievements of the
translation, the critic has to find out if there is any semantic deficits in the
translation and what are the causes of this, In the last criteria, he has to assess
whether the translated version is written in a natural manner, that is, neat,
elegant and agreeable or not.
In the last step, especially in the case of literary works such as poems,
stories or novels, it is essential to assess the works potential importance
within the target languages literature by asking such questions as Was it in
fact worth translating?, Does it have any influence on the target languages
literature and culture?.
Although Newmarks model is not as clear and well theoretically based
as in the case of Houses, it has many strong points in terms of application.
This is due to the fact that these steps are initiated from the practical
experiences of the translators. Moreover, it reflects the problems and the
concerns of the translators in the translation process; therefore, it is easy to be
carried out. For those reasons, in this thesis, the writer decide to apply
Newmarks model for translation quality assessment of chapter 7 of the book
Harry Potter and the Philosophers stone.

15

CHAPTER 2 APPLICATION OF NEWMARKS MODEL FOR

TRANSLATION QUALITY ASSESSMENT OF CHAPTER SEVEN OF
HARRY POTTER AND THE PHILOSOPHERS STONE
This chapter will present the application of Newmarks translation
quality assessment model to assess the quality of the TT in chapter seven of
the book Harry Potter and the Philosophers stone. The ST will be
analyzed according to the five steps of Newmarks model.
2.1. Step 1: A brief analysis of the SL text stressing its intention and its
functional aspects
Harry Potter is a series of seven fantasy novels written by the British
author J. K. Rowling. The series were originally printed in English by two
major publishers, Bloomsbury in the United Kingdom and Scholastic Press in
the United States. The books later have been published by many publishers
worldwide.
Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone is the first novel in
the Harry Potter series. The plot follows Harry Potter who discovers his
magical heritage, as he makes close friends and a few enemies in his first
year. With the help of his friends, Harry faces an attempted comeback by the
dark wizard Lord Voldemort, who killed Harry's parents, but failed to kill
Harry when he was just one year old. The book, which was Rowling's debut
novel, was published on 26 June 1997 by Bloomsbury in London. In
1998, Scholastic Corporation published an edition for the United States
market under the title Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone.
The novel has been translated into many languages, placing Rowling
among the most translated authors in history. The book has seen translations
to diverse languages. In Vietnam, the novel was translated directly by Ly Lan

16

from the original version published by Bloomsbury in the United Kingdom

under the title Harry Potter v hn ph thy. The novel includes
seventeen chapters. The sorting hat is the seventh chapter describing the
Sorting Ceremony for the first year students before officially starting the
school year.
The novels initial target audience was children, more specifically,
young adult readers of fantasy. However, the main characters grew up and the
writing took on a more mature feel. Therefore, it is the fact that adults has
become a part of the audience as well. In brief, the readers that the novel aims
at are the people of all ages who are interested in fantasy. The novel falls
within the genre of fantasy literature; however, in many respects it also
contains elements of mystery, adventure, thriller, and romance. The story is
told from a third persons point of view with very few exceptions.
2.2 Step 2: the translators interpretation of the SL texts purpose, his
translation method and the translations likely readership
Comparing the translation version with the original version Harry
Potter and the Philosophers stone, in chapter seven The sorting hat, the
translator omits some sentences and adds some details that do not appear in
the origin as below:
Original version
Translation
Page
Text
Page
Text
126
While you are at Hogwarts, 127
Trong thi gian cc con hc
your triumphs will earn your
Hogwarts th thnh tch
house points, while any
cc con t c s c
rulebreaking will lose house
cng vo im chung cho
points.
nh mnh .
132
A horrible thought struck 133
Mt tng khng khip
Harry, as horrible thoughts
bng bt ln trong u
17

133

134

always do when you're very

nervous.
The last thing Harry saw 134
before the hat dropped over
his eyes was the hall full of
people craning to get a good
look at him. Next second he
was looking at the black
inside of the hat. He waited.
"Well done, Ron, excellent," 136
said
Percy
Weasley
pompously across Harry as
"Zabini, Blaise," was made
a Slytherin.
135

134

Harry.
iu cui cng m Harry
nhn thy trc khi chic
nn sp xung che mt i
mt ca n, l c snh
ng y nhc ngi u
ang hng mt nhn v n.
Harry ch i.
Gii lm, Ron! Xut sc!
Huynh trng Percy anh
trai Ron, go ln c thng.

Thomas
Dean!
l mt thng b da en cao
hn c Ron, c v
Gryffindor, n ngi bn
cnh Harry.
Ti lt thng nht nht
Malfoy

Table 1: Omission and addition in the translation

It can be referred that the omission of some sections in the translation
version is not so important that the readers can still understand the whole
message without them. Besides, normally the TT adds some comment and
contact parentheses as a result of the translators attempt to explain or provide
additional information for the readers better understanding. However, in this
case, it can be seen that the addition completely disappears in the origin.

18

2.3. Step 3: a selective but representative detailed comparison of the

translation with the original
In this step, the examples of the achievements and weaknesses of the
translation

in comparison with the original text have been chosen and

grouped under general heads as follow:

The title

1. Title of the book

2. Title
of chapter seven

Original version
Translation
Harry Potter and the Harry Potter v hn
Philosophers stone
ph thy
The sorting hat
Chic nn phn loi

Table 2: Comparing two versions in terms of the titles

It can be seen that the title of the book in the TT seems not to have the
same literal meaning with the one in the ST. According to Western alchemy,
the philosophers' stone is a legendary alchemical substance said to be capable
of giving people the ability to use alchemy in impossible ways, such as
turning base metals such as lead into gold or silver. It was also sometimes
believed to be an elixir of life, useful for rejuvenation and possibly for
achieving immortality. Basing on this belief in Western culture, Rowling
makes the philosophers stone the important thing in her fantasy novel. It
means that many readers in other cultures do not know about the history of
the philosophers stone and the translator has to think of a title which is
familiar to the readers and not too difficult to understand as well. Both the
book and motion picture were released in the United States under the
name Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, because the publishers were
concerned that most Americans were not familiar enough with the term
Philosopher's stone to gain the correct impression from the title. This case is
19

the same in Vietnamese language. It is the reason why the translator uses the
title Harry Potter v hn ph thy.
The structure
As mentioned above, the translator transfers the messages and the ideas
of the writer while rewriting the novel in her own language. Her creativity of
paragraphing can easily be found in the chapter. It can be seen that many long
sentences in the ST are cut into short ones without changing the message and
complex sentences were rewritten to simple sentences. In many cases, one
sentence with many clauses is deliberately broken down into many different
sentences:
Order
1

Original version
Translation
Page
Text
Page
Text
125
The stone walls were lit 126
Nhng vch tng c
with flaming torches like
chiu sng bng nhng b
the ones at Gringotts, the
uc to ging nh nh
ceiling was too high to
bng Gringotts. Trn lu
make
out,
and
a
i cao vi vi, v trc
magnificent
mt bn tr l mt chic
marble staircase facing
cu thang cm thch p
them led to the upper
lng ly ln cc tng trn.
floors.
128
Feeling oddly as though 129
Lng tng vng v nh th
his legs had turned to lead,
hai chn ha thnh ch,
Harry got into line behind
Harry ng v hng, sau
a boy with sandy hair,
lng mt thng b tc
with Ron behind him, and
vng. Ron ng sau lng
they walked out of the
Harry, v c bn ni ui
chamber, back across the
ra khi phng, bng ngang
hall, and through a pair of
hnh lang, xuyn qua vi
double doors into the
cnh ca i na ri mi
Great Hall.
bc vo i snh ng.
20

141

He was too sleepy even to 142

be surprised that the
people in the portraits
along
the
corridors
whispered and pointed as
they passed, or that twice
Percy led them through
doorways hidden behind
sliding panels and hanging
tapestries.

131

The table on the right 132

cheered and clapped as
Hannah went to sit down
at the Hufflepuff table.

131

The table second from the 132

left clapped this time;
several Ravenclaws stood
up to shake hands with
Terry as he joined them.

N cng qu bun ng nn
n ni khng cn ly lm
ngc nhin khi nhng bc
chn dung treo dc tng
x xo ch ch lc n i
qua. N cng ht ngc
nhin ni khi Percy dt c
bn i xuyn qua cnh ca
n sau nhng tm tranh ln
v nhng tm thm treo
tng c hai ln.
Nhng ngi ngi dy
bn bn phi hoan h v
v tay cho mng. Hannah
i n ngi dy bn ca
nh Hufflepuff.
Dy bn th hai bn tri v
tay; nhiu thnh vin nh
Ravenclaw ng dy bt
tay Terry; cu b n nhp
vo bn ca h.

Table 3: Comparing two versions in terms of paragraphing

Furthermore, it can be seen that in most cases, the relative clauses are broken
down into other independent sentences or are transferred under the form of a
comment parenthesis; otherwise they are omitted in the TT
Order
1

Original version
Translation
Page
Text
Page
Text
126 Her eyes lingered for a 127
nh mt b chn ch trn
moment on Neville's
chic o chong ct u t
cloak,
which
was
ca Neville; cht mi nh
fastened under his left
nhem ca Ron cng c v
ear, and on Ron's
khin gio s khng hi
smudged nose.
lng.
21

127

127

128

131

136

139

No one was talking

much except Hermione
Granger,
who
was
whispering very fast
about all the spells she'd
learned and wondering
which one she'd need.
Then
something
happened which made
him jump about a foot in
the air
It was lit by thousands
and
thousands
of
candles which were
floating in mid air over
four long tables
A pink-faced girl with
blonde pigtails stumbled
out of line, put on the
hat, which fell right
down over her eyes, and
sat down.
He was right next to
Malfoy who, Harry was
pleased to see, didnt
look too pleased with
the
seating
arrangements.
And finally, I must tell
you that this year, the
third-floor corridor on
the right-hand side is out
of bounds to everyone
who does not wish to die
a very painful death
22

127

128

129

132

khng ai dm ni nng g,
ngoi
tr
con
nh
Hermione c lm nhm c
ng thn ch hc
thuc lng v ang tnh
xem hi na nn xi cu
no.
Bng nhin c mt chuyn
khin Harry nhy bn ln
khng trung c ba tc
Gian phng mnh mng
c chiu sng bng hng
ngn hng vn ngn nn,
l lng trn khng trung
pha trn bn dy bn di
Mt c b c i m hng
hng v i bm tc vng
hoe bc ra khi hng, i
nn vo v ngi xung
gh.

138

Con ma ngi bn cnh

Malfoy, v Harry khoi ch
nhn thy Malfoy c v
bc bi v b xp ch ngi
nh vy.

140

V cui cng, ti phi ni

trc cho cc con bit l
nm nay, hnh lang tng
th ba pha bn tay phi l
khu vc cm. Ai mun
cht mt cch cc k au
n th c m n .

140

Dumbledore gave his 141

wand a little flick, as if
he was trying to get a fly
off the end, and a long
golden ribbon flew out
of it, which rose high
above the tables and
twisted itself, snakelike,
into words.

C Dumbledore vy cy
a thn ca c nh th
ui con rui u cht
gy. T u gy tun ra
mt chui n vng, un
ln nh rn v kt thnh
ch pha trn cc dy bn.

Table 4: Comparing two versions in terms of relative clauses

Another issue about the structure in the TT is the frequency of using
passive form and active form. Normally in English passive structures are
frequently used whereas Vietnamese language seems to follow the opposite
tendency. However, it is not the case of the translation version by Ly Lan.
Comparing the frequency of using passive form and active form in the TT, it
can be said that in the translation the former appears more than the latter
which seems to be rather different from other translation. In very few cases,
the translator use active form in the TT while passive form structures appear
in the ST
Order
1

2
3

Original version
Translation
Page
Text
Page
Text
125 The stone walls were lit 126
Nhng vch tng
with flaming torches like
c chiu sng bng
the ones at Gringotts
nhng b uc to ging
nh nh bng Gringotts
126 You will be sorted into 126
Cc con s c phn loi
your houses.
xp vo cc k tc x.
126 The house with the most 127
Nh no c c nhiu
points is awarded the
im nht s c thng
House Cup
Cp Nh
128 It was lit by thousands 129
Gian phng mnh mng

23

and thousands of candles

132

132

132

139

139

10

142

11

128

12

135

13

139

He had always been last to 132

be chosen
What if he wasnt chosen 133
at all?
When
Neville
Longbottom, the boy who
kept losing his toad, was
called
I have also been asked by
Mr. Filch, the caretaker,
to remind you all that
he usually gives us a
reason why we're not
allowed to go somewhere
Their trunks had already
been brought up.
These tables were laid
with glittering golden
plates and goblets.
The dishes in front of him
were now piled with food

133

140

141

144
129

136

no magic should be used 140

between classes in the
corridors.

c chiu sng bng

hang ngn hng vn cy
nn
N lun lun l ngi cui
cng c chn
Nu rt cuc mnh khng
c chn v nh no
ht th sao?
Khi Neville Longbottom
thng b c mt cc hoi
c gi tn,
Ti cng c ng Flich,
gim th, yu cu nhc
nh tt c hc sinh
c Dumbledore thng ni
r ti sao chng ta khng
c php i u
Rng ca chng c
mang ln sn.
Trn mt bn l nhng da
vng v cc vng lng
lnh.
Nhng ci da trng trc
mt n gi y y p
thc n.
khng c dng php
thut ngoi lp hc, trong
hnh lang.

Table 5: Comparing two versions in terms of passive and active forms

24

 The use of words and idioms:

It will be a shortcoming if the translators choice of word and using
idioms are not mentioned because they are the most notable things of this
translation.
Order
1
2
3
4
5
6
7

8
9
10
11
12

Original version
Translation
Page
Text
Page
Text
Harry Potter
Harry Potter, n
Hagrid
Bc Hagrid, Lo Hagrid
The Professor McGonagall
The Gio s McGonagall
whole
whole B gio s McGonagall
story Hermione
story Hermione, c b
Albus Dumbledore
C Albus Dumbledore
They, them
Chng, bn tr
127
Fred said it hurts a lot, 127
Anh Fred ni au lm
but I think he was joking
nhng chc l nh ni
chi
137
Bit of a nasty shock for 139
Mt c sc gh gm cho
him.
ng
126
While you are here
127
Khi cc con y
128
Hope to see you
128
Hy vng gp li cc em
127
What are you all doing 128
C l chng by lm g
here?
y h
137
What about you, Neville? 139
Cn b th sao h Neville?

Table 6: Comparing two versions in terms of pronouns and proper

names
As mentioned above, the story is told by the third persons point of
view, the characters are kept in third person pronouns. I and you also appear
in some conversations. In the TT, the pronouns are translated flexibly in
different cases which denotes the authors attitudes and feelings whereas this
is rarely shown in the ST. This is also the case of proper names.

25

Besides, idioms in the TT are utilized thoroughly by the translator. The

achievements and weaknesses of using idioms in the TT will be discussed
later in the next step.
Order
1

4
5
6
7
8
9

10
11
12
13

Original version
Translation
Page
Text
Page
Text
129
This hat was patched 130
Ci nn te tua, v chm v
and
frayed
and
p, v d cc k.
extremely dirty
130
It bowed to each of the 131
Ci nn nghing mnh
four tables
cho bn phng tm
hng
131
a house for people who 131
nh chuyn dnh cho
feel a bit queasy
nhng ngi cm thy bn
chn n pht bun nn
132
Hermione almost ran to 133
C b chy nh bay li
the stool
ci gh
132
Ron groaned.
133
Ron nghe ti nghin
rng tro tro.
132
Neville ran off still 133
Neville nhy cng ln,
wearing it.
qun c gi nn ra.
134
He was pale green by 136
N xanh lt nh tu l
now.
chui.
134
Harry clapped loudly
136
N v tay nh in
134
The pumkin pasties 136
Ci bnh b ng m n n
seemed ages ago.
trn tu la hnh nh
tiu ha t my i.
135
It was all delicious.
137
Ngon tuyt c mo.
137
I was all Muggle for 139
Ti ch l dn Muggle
ages.
trm phn trm.
137
Gran was crying, she 139
B ti mng n pht
was so happy.
khc.
141
Peeves, show yourself
143
Peeves, xut u l din
i.

26

14

141

Ickle firsties! What fun!

143

Lnh mi t te. Vui o

Table 7: Comparing two versions in terms of idioms

Beside idioms, the translators choice of word is another section that
needs to be compared between the ST and the TT. The examples below
demonstrate the translators level of language when choosing the equivalents
in the TT.
Order
1

2
3

5
6
7

Original version
Page
Text
125
The Entrance Hall was
so big you could have
fitted the whole of the
Dursleys' house in it.
125
..the ceiling was too
high to make out
125
They
crowded
in,
standing rather closer
together than they would
usually have
done,
peering about nervously.
126
Her eyes lingered for a
moment on Neville's
cloak,
which
was
fastened under his left
ear, and on Ron's
smudged nose.
127
Harry's heart gave a
horrible jolt.
127
He kept his eyes fixed
on the door.
127
Professor McGonagall
would come back and
lead him to his doom.

27

Translation
Page
Text
126
Snh trc rng ln n
ni c th rinh nguyn
cn nh ca gia nh
Dursley vo cng lt.
126
Trn lu i cao vi vi
126

Chng ng tm vo nhau,
nghnh c ngng ch mt
cch hi hp lo u.

127

nh mt b chn ch trn
chic o chong ct u t
ca Neville; cht mi nh
nhem ca Ron cng c v
khin gio s khng hi
lng.
Tim Harry bt u nhy
lon x.
Gi y, mt Harry c dn
cht xung sn nh.
Gio s McGonagall s tr
li v s n ti y chc
l tn.

127
128
128

128

128

10

127

11

127

12

128

13

128

14

128

15

129

16

129

17

131

18

131

Then
something
happened that made him
jump about a foot in the
air
several people behind
him screamed.
About twenty ghosts had
just streamed through
the back wall.
They seemed to be
arguing.
A ghost wearing a ruff
and tights had suddenly
noticed the first years.
One by one, the ghosts
floated away through
the opposite wall
At the top of the hall
was another long table
where the teachers
were sitting.
He heard Hermione
whisper, "Its bewitched
to look like the sky
outside.
Aunt Petunia wouldnt
have let it in the house.

127

Bng nhin c mt chuyn

khin Harry nhy bn ln
khng trung c ba tc

127

bn tr con xung quanh

cng ku tht ln.
Khong hai chc con ma
va trn ra t bc tng
pha sau.
Hnh nh chng ang gy
g nhau
Con ma mt b st
mnh ang ni cht nhn
ra s hin din ca bn tr.
Nhng con ma vi lng l
tri tt vo bc tng i
din, tng con mt.
u i snh ng l
mt ci bn di khc dnh
cho gio s.

128

128
128

129

129

129

130

A pink-faced girl with 132

blonde
pigtails
stumbled out of line,
put on the hat, which fell
right down over her
eyes, and sat down.
several
Ravenclaws 132
28

Harry nghe Hermione th

thm:
- Nhn ra ngoi tri s b
hn m .
D Petunia m thy th
chc l qung v st rc
ngay.
Mt c b c i m hng
hng v i bm tc vng
hoe bc ra khi hng,
i nn vo v ngi xung
gh.
nhiu thnh vin nh

19

131

20

131

21

131

22

133

23

133

24
25
26
27

133
133
134
134

28

135

29

135

stood up to shake hands

with Terry as he joined
them.
and the table on the far 132
left
exploded
with
cheers.
Harry could see Ron's 132
twin brothers catcalling.
Perhaps it was Harry's
imagination, after all
he'd
heard
about
Slytherin,
The hat had barely
touched his head when
it screamed
the Hall full of people
craning to get a good
look at him.
Not Slytherin.
Not Slytherin,eh?
He grinned back
He looked down at his
empty gold plate.
Is he-a bit mad?

132

134

134

134
135
135
136
136

He had never seen so 136

many things he liked to
eat on one table: roast
beef, roast chicken,
pork chops and lamb
chops, sausages, bacon
and
steak,
boiled
potatoes, roast potatoes,
fries,
Yorkshire
29

Ravenclaw ng dy bt
tay Terry; cu b n nhp
vo bn ca h.
Dy bn cui bn tri
bng n ting reo h v v
tay
Harry thy hai ngi anh
sinh i ca Ron hut so
mng.
C th la do Harry tng
tng, hoc gi do n
nghe ni v Slytherin
nhiu qu,
Ci nn cha kp chm v
u n tuyn b lin
c snh ng y nhc
ngi u ang hng mt
nhn v pha n.
ng v Slytherin!
Khng chu Slytherin h?
N nhe rng ci li
Harry ng my ci a
bng vng trng khng.
C..c..c y c mt
khng vy?
N cha tng thy nhiu
n n a thch i cht
y trn bn gh n th:
tht ct lt, i tru, xc
xch, tht ba ch v bt tt,
khoai ty luc, khoai ty
nng, khoai ty chin,
bnh m Yorkshire, u, c
rt, nc chm, st c

30

136

31

136

32
33

137
138

34

140

35

140

36

140

37

142

38

142

pudding, peas, carrots,

gravy, ketchup, and, for
some strange reason,
peppermint humbugs
sandy-haired Seamus
Finnigan interrupted.
His whole head swung
off his neck and fell
onto his shoulder as if it
was on a hinge.
Great-auntie Algie
Hagrid was drinking
deeply
Let us sing the school
song.
And
the
school
bellowed
Everybody finished the
song at different times.

chua, v chc cho

qui d, c c nhng con
b the.
137
138

139
139
141
141
142

The portrait swung 143

forward
Ron muttered to Harry 144
through the hangings.

Thng b tc bm vng
Seamus Finnigan ngt li.
C ci u tut ra khi c,
ngoo xung vai nh th
mng v mt ci mc.
M Algie
Lo Hagrid ang say sa
nc ru
Chng ta cng ht mt bi
ca ca trng.
V c trng go ln
Bi ht chm dt, ngi
dt trc, ngi xong
sau.
Bc chn dung t lch
mnh qua mt bn
Qua ci mng, Ron th
thm vi Harry.

Table 8: Comparing two versions in terms of word choice and expression

There is a fact that in many cases her choice of word makes a deep
impression on the readers whereas in other cases the readers find it not easy to
understand. Furthermore, in many situations the words or phrases in the ST
are totally not equivalent with the TT. They will be analyzed in the Step 4.

30

2.4. Step 4: an evaluation of the translation

2.4.1. An evaluation of the translation in the translators terms
The writer is going to evaluate the translation basing on the analysis of
the evidences compared above. Both the success and the weaknesses of the
translation will be presented.
The success of the translation:
In terms of syntactic, the translator is successful in transferring many
English structures into Vietnamese naturally and flexibly. There are a few
things capable of charming the readers and making them absorbed in the
book. The translators ability to make the sentences smooth and fluently is
one of them. It is not hard to find many examples in chapter seven that make a
deep impression on the readers not for the messages in the sentences but the
remarkably smooth sentences (see example 2,3 in table 3). Relative clauses
are transferred flexibly in the form of independent sentences or under the
form of a comment parenthesis or they omitted in TT without changing the
meaning of the sentences and the messages of the author (example 2,6,7,8,9 in
table 4). Another notable issue is that the passive form and active structures in
the ST are transferred into the TT naturally (see table 5).
Besides, the translation is also very successful in terms of semantics.
This is reflected by the translators choice of words, expressions and the use
of idioms.
With proper names and pronouns, the translator transfers them to the
TT flexibly according to different cases (see more in table 6).
The translator is also successful in using idioms in some cases which
makes the text naturally and familiar to the Vietnamese readers (see example
3,4,7,9,10,11,12,13,14 in table 7). One case in point is example 7 : He was
31

pale green by now (N xanh lt nh tu l chui). The idiom xanh nh tu

l chui was used to indicate the feeling in a horrible or bad situation. In the
case of Ron, he was very worried about being chosen in one of four houses
which was reflected by his appearance. The idiom which was used here is the
most condensed way to emphasize the bad feeling of the character. The
similar usage of idioms is found in example 3- a house for people who feel a
bit queasy (nh chuyn dnh cho nhng ngi cm thy bn chn n
pht bun nn)- and example 4 Hermione almost ran to the stool (C b
chy nh bay li ci gh). Perhaps the literal meaning of the ST and the TT
are not exactly the same; however, the idioms still play a very important part
in creating the stronger effect on the readers than a normal structure.
Furthermore, it makes the TT nearer the spoken style rather than written style
in the ST.
In addition, it can not be denied that many English words and
expressions

are

translated

concisely

and

naturally

(see

example

1,3,7,13,19,26,28,33,36 in table 8). One example can be taken into account is

number 3: They crowded in, standing rather closer together than they would
usually have done, peering about nervously. According to Longman
dictionary, peer about is to look very carefully at something especially
because you are having difficulty seeing it; therefore its equivalence in
Vietnamese can be nhn chm chm, nhn chm ch, soi or nhm,
ngHowever, in the context, to emphasize the nervous and worrying
feeling of the first-year students who were new to the surroundings, no
expression is more suitable than nghnh c ngng ch. Similarly, in
example 36 Everybody finished the song at different times, is transferred to
Vietnamese very naturally (Bi ht chm dt, ngi dt trc, ngi xong
sau) thanks to the expression ngi dt trc, ngi xong sau.

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In brief, it can not be denied that the translation on the whole has
achieved some success. However, there are inevitable mistakes in the TT
when comparing with the ST which need to be improved in order to make the
translation better.
The weaknesses of the translation:
With regard to syntactic, some sentences are not translated correctly;
the message in the TT even has no relationship with the message in the ST.
Following are some examples:
Order
1
2

Original version
Translation
Page
Text
Page
Text
126
I shall return when we 127
Ta s tr li khi no cc
are ready for you.
con chun b xong.
129
Maybe they had to try 130
Chc h s phi bt mnh
and get a rabbit out of it.
li ra c t trong ci nn
mt con th.
136
I would prefer you to 137
Ta yu cu cc chu gi ta
call me Sir Nicholas de
l ngi Nicholas de
Mimsy.
Mimsy.
140
The other teachers 141
Harry cht nhn thy n
smiles had become
ci ca cc gio s khc
rather fixed.
cht tt lm.

Table 9: Mistakes in the translation in terms of grammar and meaning

In example 1 and 2, it can be seen clearly that the meaning of the
sentence in the ST is totally different with the one in the TT. Furthermore, in
example 3, the structure would prefer you to.. is not used to give command
whereas in the translated version, the translator uses ta yu cu cc chu
which indicates the command or order. In example 4, the message in the ST is
that the other teachers aren't feeling true school spirit while they sing the
song, they look happy and carefree but they are not happy; however, they still
33

smile. Hence, this message is totally not the same as the message in the TT
n cicht tt lm.
Besides, the most serious problem with the translation is about
vocabulary and expressions.
The first problem in the choice of words and expressions is that some
idioms are not used correctly in particular contexts. It can be denied that the
translator has been successful in using idioms; however, in some context, it is
not suitable (see example 1,2,5,6,8 in table 7). In example 1, the translator
transfers frayed in the ST into v chm v p in the TT which are not
equivalent. In example 2, the hat bowed to each of the four tables which
means that the hat bowed to the students of four houses sitting in the four
tables on the floor, not all the directions - bn phng tm hng - as
mentioned in the translated version.
The second problem, which is the most notable problem, is that the
denotative and connotative meanings of many words have been totally
changed between the ST and the TT. It can be seen in table 8 (example
2,4,5,6,8,9,10,11,12,14,16,17,18,20,21,22,27,29,30,32,34,35,37,38).

Many

simple words in the TT and the ST are not equivalent such as the door sn
nh, behind xung quanh, streamed trn, teachers gio s, several
nhiu, catcalling hut so mng, plate my ci a, sandy-hair tc bm
vng, swung forward t mnh lch qua, great auntie m, peppermint
humbugs nhng con b the . Many expressions in the TT do not reflect
correctly the meaning in the ST such as: a ruff and tights b st, the
school song mt bi ca ca trng, roast beef, roast chicken, pork chops
and lamb chops - tht ct lt, i tru, bacon tht ba ch

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2.4.2. An evaluation of the translation in the critics terms

Through the analysis of the achievements and the weaknesses of the
translation of chapter seven in the book Harry Potter and the Philosophers
stone by Ly Lan, some comments can be drawn as followed.
First of all, in general, the translation of chapter seven The sorting
hat, which contains 19 pages, has obtained a certain success. The translation
has followed the original version very closely in most cases.
Besides, the translator seems to have many experiences in translating
literature works in the way idioms and many expressions are used naturally
and the way sentences are paragraphed flexibly. Moreover, Ly Lan has
proven herself to have an abundance vocabulary which is the contribution to
the success of the translation.
However, there are still some problems in the translation which need to
be improved for a better version. The translator should be careful when
choosing vocabulary which needs to be familiar to all the readers. Moreover,
the translation should follow the origin more closely because some details of
the original version is omitted or added with no reasons which somewhat
affects the quality of the translation.
2.4.3. Assess the translation as a piece of writing, independently of its
original
As an independent piece of writing, the Vietnamese version of Harry
Potter and the Philosophers stone is a very exciting and interesting story.
Harry Potter v hn ph thy is a good book if it is considered a
literature work for children. Through the book, Ly Lan has proven herself not
only an experienced translator but also a talented writer. The language used in
the book in general is simple and easy to be understood to most of the
readers, especially young readers. Most of the expressions are suitable,
35

concise and familiar to Vietnamese readers. Moreover, the writing style in the
book is very natural which sometimes makes the book seem to be a
Vietnamese novel. It is believed that for those reasons the Vietnamese version
of Harry Potter and the philosophers stone is a successful literature work,
independently of its original.
2.5. Step 5. An assessment of the likely place of the translation in the
target language culture or discipline
J. K. Rowling is best known as the author of the Harry Potter fantasy
series. The books have gained worldwide attention, won multiple awards, and
sold millions of copies. They have become the best-selling book series in
history and have been the basis for a series of films which became
the highest-grossing film series in history. Rowling had overall approval on
the scripts and maintained creative control by serving as a producer on the
final installment. Therefore, the Vietnamese version of the story has made
great contribution to the variety of national literature. In brief, in spite of
some inevitable mistakes, it can be said that the Vietnamese version of
Harry Potter and the Philosophers stone will be a great literature work for
many Vietnamese generations.

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PART C. CONCLUSION
The study has demonstrated the writers analysis attempt towards the
quality of the Vietnamese translation version of Chapter 7 The sorting hat
in the book Harry Potter and the Philosophers stone by J.K. Rowling.
1. Concluding remarks
Basing on Newmarks model, the analysis of the both ST and TT has
led the writer to some important findings.
Firstly, in terms of the first question, the Vietnamese translation of
Chapter 7 of the book Harry Potter and the Philosophers stone is of high
quality.
In general, the translation follows closely the original version. The
translator has been successful in conveying the intention and the message of
the author through the way she arranges structures and the diverse vocabulary
in the story. Moreover, the language in general is clear, easy to understand
and of great interest to the readers.
However, the translation still has some shortcomings in terms of
syntactics and semantics. Furthermore, the omission and addition in the
translation when comparing with the origin is another problem that the
translator should be careful.
From the findings above, some implications for translation of English
literature works into Vietnamese can be concluded.
Firstly, it can be said that Newmarks model has many strong points in
terms of application. It is the model that is easy to follow because of five clear
steps and it helps the critic have a deep insight into the achievements and the
weaknesses of the translation as well. It especially works with literature works
such as novels or short stories

37

Secondly, Ly Lan has proved herself an experienced writer. The way

she uses mother tongue; structures in the TT are transferred into the ST
naturally are things that other translators can learn from her.
Thirdly, the very first shortcoming of the translation is the addition and
omission when comparing with the origin. Therefore, one implication can be
drawn that the translator should follow the original version very closely if he
would like the readers to understand the work entirely.
Last but not least, in terms of semantics and syntactics, many simple
words, expressions and structures in the origin and their equivalents in the
translation version are totally not the same. In fact, they even have no
relationship in any sense. The writer can not find the reason for this problem.
However, it can be said that every translator should be very careful in
translating every words even they are so simple.
2. Limitations of the study & suggestions for further studies
The scope of the study which has been put forward in Introduction
results in some limitations for this minor thesis. As it is impossible for the
writer to compare and analyze the whole book due to the limitation of time
and also to be suitable with the applied framework, only Chapter 7 is chosen
as data for the analysis in this study. Therefore, the conclusion is only
adaptable to this chapter, not the whole novel and the analysis can be
somewhat restricted.
For further study, more studies should be conduct to analyze the whole
Vietnamese version Harry Potter and the Philosophers stone to enjoy a
broader and more comprehensive analysis of the whole translation.

38

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Quc Gia. Trng i hc Ngoi ng - HQG H Ni.

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