You are on page 1of 31

TEACHER TRAINING CENTER

How to Write a TOEFL Essay Introduction


The TOEFL essay is usually five paragraphs long and has three parts: the introduction,
the body, and the conclusion. Each part of the essay has a different function, and
readers expect certain information in each of these parts.

Here's a brief explanation of the three main parts found in the TOEFL essay structure:
Introduction
The introduction is the first paragraph of your essay. The first few sentences of this
paragraph simply introduce the reader to the topic. The last sentence is called the
thesis statement and clearly states your opinion. This is the most important sentence
in the essay.
Body
The body of the essay is usually three paragraphs long. Each paragraph begins with a
topic sentence that tells the reader what the rest of the paragraph is going to be about.
The remaining sentences are called supporting ideas because their main function is to
"support" the topic sentence.
Conclusion
The conclusion is the last paragraph of the essay. It restates the thesis and gives the
reader a brief summary of the essay's main points. This paragraph is usually about 3
sentences long.

Compiled and organized by LVARO DEL CASTILLO and


JOSEFINA MILLN

TEACHER TRAINING CENTER

Importance of the TOEFL essay structure

Do not underestimate the importance of the essay


structure. In fact, not using this structure is one of the
biggest mistakes that you can make.
When you use this structure in your essay, your ideas will
be presented in a clear and logical way. Your essay will
really begin to flow, and this makes it much easier for the
reader to understand. Even with mistakes in spelling and
grammar, an essay written in this structure is better than
one with perfect grammar that is not.

The introduction is the most important paragraph of your TOEFL essay.


The introduction is the first paragraph of your essay, and it is important to make a good
impression here. If you don't start out well, it will be difficult to convince your readers
(or the TOEFL assessor!) to take your writing seriously. Here's what you should know
about the introduction:

First paragraph of the essay

Usually 3 to 5 sentences long

Introduces the essay topic

Clearly gives your opinion

Has a strong thesis statement


All introductions must meet these five conditions. If it is missing one or two of them,
then it is a weak introduction.
Beginning the introduction
The best way to begin the introduction is with a general statement about the essay
topic. This explains what the essay is going to be about and mentally prepares the
reader for the arguments that will follow. Do not give your opinion in this sentence--this
is only a general statement about the topic.

Here's an example of what a typical first sentence looks like:

Compiled and organized by LVARO DEL CASTILLO and


JOSEFINA MILLN

TEACHER TRAINING CENTER


Many communities have been debating whether or not police officers
should carry guns.
You can see that there is no opinion in this sentence; it is only a general statement
about the essay topic.
Developing the introduction
After we have written our first sentence, it is time to develop the introduction. We do
this by adding a few more general statements about the topic. One strategy you can
use is to explain both sides of the argument. Here's an example:
In some situations, guns protect the police officer as well as the public.
However, guns often result in injuries and death.
By explaining both sides of the argument (this is called contrasting), you show the
reader that you have thought carefully about the issue.
You should also know that when you contrast both sides of the argument, it is better to
begin with the side of the argument that you do not agree with. This is more natural in
English, and your essay introduction will develop logically toward the thesis statement.
Writing the thesis statement
Now it is time to write our thesis statement. This is the last sentence of the first
paragraph. It is also the most important sentence in the essay. The thesis statement
does two things:

It directly answers the essay question.

It tells the reader what your opinion is.


For our introduction, here's what the thesis statement could look like:
No police officer should ever carry a gun.
In this example, we have a strong thesis statement. It is simple and direct: it answers
the essay question and tells the reader exactly what our opinion is.
It is not an exaggeration to say that the thesis statement is the most important
sentence in the essay. In fact, if the reader has difficulty understanding the essay, he
will often return to the thesis statement to be reminded what the essay is about. A bad
thesis statement results in a bad essay.

Compiled and organized by LVARO DEL CASTILLO and


JOSEFINA MILLN

TEACHER TRAINING CENTER


Putting it all together
We've finally completed our introductory paragraph. Here it is:
Many communities have been debating whether or not police officers
should carry guns. In some situations, guns protect the police officer as
well as the public. However, guns often result in injuries and death. No
police officer should ever carry a gun.
In the first sentence we began the introduction with a general statement about the
essay topic. Then, in the second and third sentences, we contrasted both sides of the
argument. Our last sentence was the thesis statement: this is where we answered the
essay question and gave our opinion.

The introduction has a "hook or grabber" to catch the reader's attention. Some
"grabbers" include:
1. Opening with an unusual detail: (Manitoba, because of its cold climate, is not
thought of as a great place to be a reptile. Actually, it has the largest seasonal
congregation of garter snakes in the world!)
2. Opening with a strong statement: (Cigarettes are the number one cause of lighter
sales in Canada!)
3. Opening with a Quotation: (Elbert Hubbard once said, "Truth is stronger than
fiction.")
4. Opening with an Anecdote: An anecdote can provide an amusing and attentiongetting opening if it is short and to the point.
5. Opening with a Statistic or Fact: Sometimes a statistic or fact will add emphasis
or interest to your topic. It may be wise to include the item's authoritative source.
6. Opening with a Question. (Have you ever considered how many books we'd read if
it were not for television?)
7. Opening with an Exaggeration or Outrageous Statement. (The whole world
watched as the comet flew overhead.)

Compiled and organized by LVARO DEL CASTILLO and


JOSEFINA MILLN

TEACHER TRAINING CENTER

How to Write a TOEFL Essay Thesis Statement


The thesis statement is the most important sentence in your TOEFL
essay.
After you have introduced the reader to the subject of the essay, you write a thesis
statement. This is the last sentence of the first paragraph, and it should do two things:

Directly answer the essay question


Tell the reader what your opinion is
The thesis statement is the most important sentence in the essay. It does not include
specific details that appear later in your essay, but it should answer the essay question
clearly and directly. If somebody reads your thesis sentence, they should be able to
answer these two questions:

What is the essay about?


What is your opinion?
Step one: get an opinion
If you do not have an opinion on the topic, it is not possible to write a thesis statement.
The thesis statement must give an opinion--it tells the reader exactly what you think.
Now, we will take a look at some examples of good and bad thesis statements.
Examples of good thesis statements
As soon as you have decided what your opinion is, you can write your thesis statement.
Let's say you get this essay question:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Police officers should carry guns.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
If you agree with the statement, your thesis could be as simple
as this:
Police officers should carry guns.
On the other hand, maybe you would like to disagree. In that
case, your thesis could be just as simple:
Police officers should not carry guns.
These are both acceptable thesis statements. They are simple and direct, telling the
reader what your opinion is and what the essay is going to be about.
It is a good idea to write your thesis statement using key words or phrases from the
original essay question. In one of our examples above, we simply copied the essay
question directly! We'll talk more about this later, but first let's take a look at a few thesis
statements that are unacceptable.
Examples of bad thesis statements
Compiled and organized by LVARO DEL CASTILLO and
JOSEFINA MILLN

TEACHER TRAINING CENTER

Before we look at examples of unacceptable thesis statements, let's have another look
at our sample essay question:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Police officers should not carry guns.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Now take a look at an unacceptable thesis statement:
Police officers work hard.
This thesis statement doesn't give us an opinion. It also doesn't tell us what the essay
is about. In fact, it's not related to the essay topic at all. Here's another one that's not
so good:
Guns help to protect police officers.
Unacceptable. It may be true that "guns help to protect police officers," but we still don't
know what the writer's opinion is. And here's a third example:
Police officers don't need guns.
Again, it may be true that "police officers don't need guns," but what is the writer's
opinion? Should police officers carry guns?
Strong thesis statements
Now that we've seen a few examples of both good thesis statements and bad thesis
statements, the next question is this: how can we write a great thesis statement? Let's
start with a thesis statement that we already know is good:
Police officers should not carry guns.
This is a good thesis statement, but it's not a great one. We can improve it by making the
language stronger. Do this by using stronger language, words such as no or never.
Here's what it looks like when we've made our improvements:
Police officers should never carry guns.
We could also say something like this:
No police officer should ever carry a gun.
If our thesis statement is a positive sentence, we can strengthen the language with a
word like always. Here's an example:
Police officers should always carry guns.
Next we'll look at other ways of strengthening our thesis
statement.
Very strong thesis statements
Okay, we have written our thesis statement. Here it is:
Police officers should never carry guns.
Compiled and organized by LVARO DEL CASTILLO and
JOSEFINA MILLN

TEACHER TRAINING CENTER


It's already good, but we can make it even stronger by using a few phrases to
emphasize our point. Here are some that we can use: regardless of, under no
circumstances, at no time, without exception. This is what our final thesis statement will
look like:
Regardless of the situation, police officers should never carry guns.
Or it could look like this:
At no time should a police officer ever carry a gun.
We can also use these same phrases to give the opposite opinion in our thesis
statement, as in this example:
Regardless of the situation, police officers should always carry guns.
Continue to practice writing thesis statements--it really is the
most important sentence in the essay, and your hard work will
be rewarded by a higher TOEFL score!

(FROM A DIFFERENT SOURCE)


WRITE YOUR THESIS STATEMENT
In order to write a good essay, you must clearly state your thesis. Every essay must
have a thesis. The thesis is the main idea of your essay. A thesis statement focuses the
direction of the topic and helps the reader to understand what you want to say. It tells the
reader what your topic is.
Look at these example topics to see how different thesis statements can come from
the same topic.
Topic 1
You have been told that the dormitory rooms at your university must be shared by two
students. Would you rather have the university assign a student to share a room with
you, or would you rather choose your own roommate? Use specific reasons and details
to explain your answer.
Thesis statement A
Since I do not get along well with many people, I prefer to choose my own
roommate.
From this thesis statement, we can presume that the writer will discuss why s/he has
difficulty having relations with people.
Thesis B

Compiled and organized by LVARO DEL CASTILLO and


JOSEFINA MILLN

TEACHER TRAINING CENTER

The opportunity to meet new people is an important benefit of a university education,


so I believe it is better to let the university choose my roommate for me.
From this statement, we can presume the writer will discuss the benefits of meeting new
people at a university.
A thesis statement must be on the topic. Pay close attention to what the topic asks you
to do.
Topic 2
Some people think governments should spend as much money as possible exploring
outer space (for example, traveling to the moon and to other planets). Other people
disagree and think governments should spend this money for our basic needs on Earth.
Which of these two opinions do you agree with? Use specific reasons and details to
support your answer.
Thesis statement A
The moon is a better place to explore because it is nearer than the planets.
From this thesis statement is NOT a good thesis statement for this topic. It takes two of
the words from the topic and writes about exploration possibilities. The topic, though, is
how best to spend limited resources: on space exploration or on needs on Earth. This
thesis statement is off topic.
Thesis statement B
While there is still hunger, poverty, and illiteracy on Earth, our resources should be
focused here and not in outer space.
From this thesis statement, we can presume the writer will discuss why hunger, poverty,
and illiteracy on Earth are more worthy of attention than space exploration.
Thesis statement C
Gaining psychological and scientific knowledge through space exploration will benefit
us more than trying to solve problems on Earth.
From this thesis statement, we can presume the writer will discuss in detail the
psychological and scientific benefits that we receive from space exploration.

Compiled and organized by LVARO DEL CASTILLO and


JOSEFINA MILLN

TEACHER TRAINING CENTER

RECOMENDATIONS
Dont be afraid of controversy.
In an argumentative essay, a thesis is a declarative sentence that takes a stance. If you
feel strongly about a social issue and you believe you can back it up, then go ahead and
do it. Just be sure you back up your stance with facts and not opinions. Dont use cruel
or insulting statements, just the facts.
Be aware that there will always be someone who disagrees with your stance. Thats
what makes life interesting. Thats also what makes essays interesting!
Dont be ambiguous.
You may decide to take a stance, but you cant find facts to back up your argument. If so,
you might be on the right track, but you just need to focus a little more.
For instance, you might want to argue that music classes should be mandatory for all
students. You may believe this, but can you back it up?
First, do a little research. You may find evidence that children who study music at a very
young age tend to do well in math and science later in life. Based on this research, you
may want to narrow your thesis to reflect this more narrow argument.

Do re-visit and re-write your thesis, when necessary.


Your thesis sentence should be flexible, until you are finished with your research and
your writing. It is not unusual for writers to revise the thesis sentence several times. As
you research your topic, you may be frustrated to find some fascinating research that fits
just outside the boundary of your thesis.
This is difficult. You can decide to exclude this research or you could decide to change
your thesis. If you include it, be sure it is strong enough to support an entire paragraph.
The best approach is to collect all the research you can, first. Then sort the facts into
categorieseither on paper or in your head. These categories will become your
paragraphs.
Narrow and revise your thesis as you go. Once youve completed your essay, check a
final time to see that your thesis fulfills the following roles.

Compiled and organized by LVARO DEL CASTILLO and


JOSEFINA MILLN

TEACHER TRAINING CENTER

SAMPLE OF INTRODUCTORY PARAGRAPHS


Example Introduction:
Many communities have been debating whether or not police officers
should carry guns. In some situations, guns protect the police officer as well
as the public. However, guns often result in injuries and death. No police
officer should ever carry a gun.
Example Introduction:
Many people feel that voting is a waste of time. They claim that the candidates
are all alike: they make promises to win votes but never carry them through. However,
this view is both cynical and foolish. In my opinion, votes do count, candidates are
different, and every eligible voter should vote in every election.

Example Introduction:
"Do you think teenagers should have jobs while they are still students?":
I've worked ever since I was twelve. As a teenager, I cleaned houses for my
family members, made banana splits at an ice cream parlor, and waited tables at various
restaurants. I did it all while carrying a pretty good grade point average in school, too! I
definitely believe that teenagers should have jobs while they are still students because a
job teaches discipline, earns them cash for school, and keeps them out of trouble.
Example Introduction:
Many find it advantageous to purchase a home, but others find renting more
suited to their needs. While there are advantages for both options, renting is generally
the best choice for young foreign students. Foreign students often do not have good
credit histories or enough money to buy a home and need to know that it will not be
necessary to find a buyer for the home if they decide to transfer to another school or
return home.

Example Introduction:
[GRABBER-OPENING WITH A STRONG STATEMENT] Of all the problems facing the
environment today, the one that bothers me the most is global warming. [FOCUSING]
Some scientists say that the earth is getting warmer because of the greenhouse effect.

Compiled and organized by LVARO DEL CASTILLO and


JOSEFINA MILLN

TEACHER TRAINING CENTER


[THESIS STATEMENT] In this paper I will describe the greenhouse effect and whether
the earth's atmosphere is actually getting warmer.

Compiled and organized by LVARO DEL CASTILLO and


JOSEFINA MILLN

TEACHER TRAINING CENTER

Example Introduction:

Some people argue that television is a complete waste of time. Other


people claim that television is a great educational resource. I maintain that
despite all of the violence and sex in many programs, television plays a useful
and important role in our society.

Compiled and organized by LVARO DEL CASTILLO and


JOSEFINA MILLN

TEACHER TRAINING CENTER

Useful Verbs in the TOEFL iBT Essay


Show off your writing skills in the TOEFL essay by using verbs that add
color and variety to your writing.
Three common verbs that students use on their TOEFL essays are think, believe, and
say. These verbs are especially useful when you have to give an opinion about
something:
think
Some people think that television is a complete waste of time.
believe
Some people believe that television is a complete waste of time.
say
Some people say that television is a complete waste of time.

Each sentence is grammatically correct. Each sentence is perfectly acceptable.


However, English is a rich language, and there are many verbs for expressing
opinions. It's easy to do this, too. There are many verbs that we can use in our TOEFL
essay to replace think, believe, and say. Here are some of the most common:
argue
Some people argue that television is a complete waste of time.
claim
Some people claim that television is a complete waste of time.
maintain
Some people maintain that television is a complete waste of time.
assert
Some people assert that television is a complete waste of time.
insist
Some people insist that television is a complete waste of time.
contend
Some people contend that television is a complete waste of time.
Amazing, isn't it? In every case, we've just substituted one of our new verbs for think,
believe, or say. This is an easy way to bring your TOEFL essay to life.

Compiled and organized by LVARO DEL CASTILLO and


JOSEFINA MILLN

TEACHER TRAINING CENTER


A word of warning, however: be careful not to use the same verb many times
throughout your TOEFL essay. These verbs are very expressive, so don't repeat
them--it's always best to use a variety of verbs in your TOEFL writing. Here's an
example:
Some people argue that television is a complete waste of time. Other
people claim that television is a great educational resource. I maintain that
despite all of the violence and sex in many programs, television plays a useful
and important role in our society.
The important thing in this passage is that we are using different verbs to express
opinions. This not only makes your TOEFL essay more interesting, but it also shows off
your language skills to the TOEFL assessor.

Compiled and organized by LVARO DEL CASTILLO and


JOSEFINA MILLN

TEACHER TRAINING CENTER

How to Write a TOEFL Essay Body


The body is the meat and bones of your TOEFL essay.
The body of the essay is everything that comes between your introduction and the
conclusion. Here's what you need to know:

It's usually 3 paragraphs long.

Each paragraph has 1 topic sentence.

Each paragraph has 3 to 5 supporting ideas.

From the supporting ideas at least one needs to be an example. This is a

MUST
Its goal is to support thesis statement.
Paragraphs in the Body
Each paragraph of the body supports the thesis statement. And each paragraph has
the same structure--1 topic sentence followed by 3 to 5 supporting ideas. Like this:

Topic Sentence (first sentence)

supporting idea #1 (MB an example)

supporting idea #2 (MB an example)

supporting idea #3 (MB an example)

supporting idea #4 (MB an example)


It's okay if you don't understand topic sentences or supporting ideas. That's what we'll
look at; read on.
The topic sentence
The topic sentence is the first sentence of the paragraph. This sentence should do 2
things:

Give 1 reason to support your thesis statement.

Tell the reader what the rest of the paragraph is about.


Supporting ideas
Everything that comes after the topic sentence is called a supporting idea. This is
because it "supports" your topic sentence.
A supporting idea could be almost anything: a story from your life, a philosophical
argument, a personal experience, or some statistical information. The important thing
is that it explains why you believe that the topic sentence is true.
Compiled and organized by LVARO DEL CASTILLO and
JOSEFINA MILLN

TEACHER TRAINING CENTER

How to Write TOEFL Essay Topic Sentences


Topic sentences are important because they support your thesis
statement.
First, let's have a quick review. We already know that the thesis statement is the last
sentence of the introduction. We also know that the thesis statement is where we give
our opinion. Here's the example we used:
No police officer should ever carry a gun.
It's a good thesis because it tells the reader what the essay is about and it gives an
opinion. Now the reader knows what our opinion is, but he doesn't know why. This is
what topic sentence does--it tells the reader why.
Here's the minimum you need to know about what a topic sentence is:

It is the first sentence of each paragraph in the body.

It gives one reason why the thesis statement is true.

It tells the reader what the rest of the paragraph is about.


A good way to write a topic sentence is to begin with a list of reasons that support your
thesis statement. When you have your list, then choose the three best reasons. That's
what we'll do next.

Writing a topic sentence


First we look at our thesis statement one more time:
No police officer should ever carry a gun.
Next we make a list of all the reasons why we believe our thesis statement is true.
Here's what we have:
1. There is already too much violence in the world.
2. Police officers don't need protection.
3. Guns cause more harm than good.
4. Police officers like to shoot people.
5. Guns frighten people.
6. In most cases police officers don't need guns.
7. Violence of any kind is a bad thing.

Compiled and organized by LVARO DEL CASTILLO and


JOSEFINA MILLN

TEACHER TRAINING CENTER


Now we simply choose the best reasons. Let's choose number 3 and number 6. They
look like good reasons to me.
Now that we have two reasons that support our thesis statement, we are almost
finished. We only have to put the finishing touches on, and we'll do that next.

Finishing the topic sentences


On the last page, we chose two reasons to support our thesis statement. These are
our topic sentences. Here they are:
Guns cause more harm than good.
In most cases police officers don't need guns.
They already look good, but they could be better. We can improve them by adding a
transitional phrase at the beginning of each. A transitional phrase helps the reader
understand your essay. It also makes your essay sound more natural.
For our first topic sentence, we can use phrases such as First, First of all, In the first
place, To begin with, For one thing. And this is what our first topic sentence might look
like:
First of all, guns cause more harm than good.
For our second topic sentence, we can use these phrases: Second, Next, In addition
to the previous point, More importantly. Like this:
In addition to the previous point, in most cases police officers don't
need guns.
We're finished. Now we only need to write our supporting ideas!

Compiled and organized by LVARO DEL CASTILLO and


JOSEFINA MILLN

TEACHER TRAINING CENTER

How to Write TOEFL Essay Supporting Ideas


They are called supporting ideas because they "support" the topic
sentence.
Our TOEFL essay's supporting ideas all come after the topic sentences. They support
the topic sentence by telling the reader why we believe the topic sentence is true.
Supporting ideas can be almost anything. The important thing is that they are all
related to the topic sentence and that they support the topic sentence in some way.
Here are some things we can use for our supporting ideas:

A personal experience

Something you've heard or read about

A logical argument

Statistical evidence

Factual information

Expert opinion
We can use any of these four supporting ideas. However, most students use a
personal experience or something they have read about. This is probably because it is
easier to write about these things.
Writing supporting ideas
Before we begin, let's have another look at our first topic sentence. Here's what we
have so far:
First of all, guns cause more harm than good.
Now let's use something that we've heard or read about for our supporting ideas. Our
paragraph might look something like this:
First of all, guns cause more harm than good. There are often stories in
the newspaper about people who are accidentally shot. Moreover, many of
these stories involve police officers. If guns had not been involved, these
accidents would not have happened. On the other hand, there are very few
stories about how a gun has saved somebody's life.
In this example, our supporting ideas come from stories we've read in the newspaper.
And they all explain why guns cause more harm than good.

Compiled and organized by LVARO DEL CASTILLO and


JOSEFINA MILLN

TEACHER TRAINING CENTER


We have also used a few interesting phrases at the beginning of some sentences:
moreover and on the other hand. These are called transitional phrases.
Writing supporting ideas
Now let's take a look at our second topic sentence. Here it is:
In addition to the previous point, in most cases police officers don't
need guns.
Now let's try using a personal experience for our supporting ideas. Here's one way we
could write the paragraph:
In addition to the previous point, in most cases police officers don't
need guns. My father, for example, has been a police officer for over 20
years, and he has never had to use his gun. In fact, he says that most
people who break the law are unarmed. Thus, it is often unnecessary for
police officers to carry guns.
There we have it! Again, our supporting ideas all tell the reader why our topic sentence
is true. You will also notice that we've used a few more transitional phrases: for
example, in fact, and thus. We'll talk about that after we write the conclusion.

Compiled and organized by LVARO DEL CASTILLO and


JOSEFINA MILLN

TEACHER TRAINING CENTER

How to Write a TOEFL Essay Conclusion


The conclusion is the essay's last paragraph. It restates the thesis and
summarizes the main points.
The conclusion of your TOEFL essay is probably the easiest part to write. Before we
begin, here is what you should know about the conclusion:

It's the last paragraph of the essay.

It's usually 3 or four sentences long.

It restates the essay's thesis.

It summarizes the essay's main points.

Your last sentence should be your prediction.


The conclusion must restate your thesis statement, summarize the essay's main points
and state a positive prediction. If it doesn't do this, then it's a bad conclusion.
In order to write the conclusion, we have to look at three important sentences in our
essay. We look at our thesis statement and we look at our two topic sentences.

Writing the conclusion


First we have to look at our thesis statement:
No police officer should ever carry a gun.
Next we look at our two topic sentences:
First of all, guns cause more harm than good.
In addition to the previous point, in most cases police officers don't need
guns.
Now we simply put them all into one paragraph, beginning with the thesis statement:
In conclusion, police officers should not carry guns. Guns usually cause
harm to people. Moreover, police officers often don't need them to do their
jobs.
Maybe you have noticed that we made small changes to the thesis statement and
topic sentences. This is because it's not good to copy the sentences exactly--it's boring
for the reader. These changes give our writing more variety.

Compiled and organized by LVARO DEL CASTILLO and


JOSEFINA MILLN

TEACHER TRAINING CENTER


We also added two transitional phrases to our conclusion: in conclusion and moreover.
We'll talk about these in a separate lesson.

IN YOUR CONCLUSION TRY TO INCLUDE THE FOLLOWING:


A piece of persuasive writing usually ends by summarizing the most important details of
the argument and stating once again what the reader is to believe or do.
1. Restate your thesis or focus statement.
2. Summarize the main points: The conclusion enables your reader to recall the
main points of your position. In order to do this you can paraphrase the main
points of your argument.
3. Write a personal comment or call for action. You can do this:
o With a Prediction: This can be used with a narrative or a cause and effect
discussion. The conclusion may suggest or predict what the results may
or may not be in the situation discussed or in similar situations.
o With a Question: Closing with a question lets your readers make their
own predictions, draw their own conclusions.
o With Recommendations: A recommendations closing is one that stresses
the actions or remedies that should be taken.
o With a Quotation: Since a quotation may summarize, predict, question, or
call for action, you may use a quotation within a conclusion for nearly any
kind of paper.

Compiled and organized by LVARO DEL CASTILLO and


JOSEFINA MILLN

TEACHER TRAINING CENTER


ESSAY OUTLINE
Persuasive Essay Outline

I. Introduction:
A. Get the readers attention by using a "hook."
B. Give some background information if necessary.
C. Thesis or focus statement.
II. First argument or reason to support your position:
A. Topic sentence explaining your point.
Elaboration to back your point.
III. Second argument or reason to support your position:
A. Topic sentence explaining your point.
Elaboration to back your point.
IV. Third argument or reason to support your position:
A. Topic sentence explaining your point.
Elaboration to back your point.
V. Opposing Viewpoint: (This is optional, however highly recommended, so that the reader will know you
have considered another point of view and have a rebuttal to it.)
A.
B.
C.

Opposing point to your argument.


Your rebuttal to the opposing point.
Elaboration to back your rebuttal.

VI. Conclusion:
A.
B.
C.

Summary of main points or reasons


Restate thesis statement.
Personal comment or a call to action.

Compiled and organized by LVARO DEL CASTILLO and


JOSEFINA MILLN

TEACHER TRAINING CENTER

Our TOEFL essay


We've finally completed our essay! Here it is:

Many communities have been debating whether or not police officers


should carry guns. In some situations, guns protect the police officer as
well as the public. However, guns often result in injuries and death. No
police officer should ever carry a gun.
First of all, guns cause more harm than good. There are often stories in
the newspapers about people who are accidentally shot. Moreover, many
of these stories involve police officers. If guns had not been involved,
these accidents would not have happened. On the other hand, there are
very few stories about how a gun has saved somebody's life.
In addition to the previous point, in most cases police officers don't
need guns. My father, for example, has been a police officer for over 20
years, and he has never had to use his gun. In fact, he says that most
people who break the law are unarmed. Thus, it is often unnecessary for
police officers to carry guns.
In conclusion, police officers should not carry guns. Guns usually
cause harm to people. Moreover, police officers often don't need them to
do their jobs.

Compiled and organized by LVARO DEL CASTILLO and


JOSEFINA MILLN

TEACHER TRAINING CENTER

APPENDIX

Compiled and organized by LVARO DEL CASTILLO and


JOSEFINA MILLN

TEACHER TRAINING CENTER

Using Transitional Phrases in the TOEFL Essay


A transitional phrase helps you move from one paragraph to the next. It
also helps you move from sentence to sentence.
Transitional phrases help the reader understand your essay. Learning how to use them
will really make your TOEFL essay flow. They can be used in two places: at the
beginning of a paragraph or at the beginning of a sentence. Here's how:
At the beginning of a paragraph
Paragraph 1
This is your introduction. Do not use any transitional words or phrases at the beginning
of this paragraph.
Paragraph 2
This is the first paragraph of the essay body. Use any of these at the beginning of this
paragraph:
first, first of all, for a start, for starters, in the first place, for one thing, to begin with
Paragraph 3
This is the second paragraph of the essay body. Use any of these at the beginning of
this paragraph:
second, next, in addition to the previous point, more importantly, more important than,
another key point is
Additional Paragraph (standard paragraphing)
This is an additional paragraph to meet the essay standards in a TOEFL paper. (if you
have almost no time remaining, you may avoid this paragraph. Although, a fiveparagraph essay looks more professional)
Use any of these at the beginning of this paragraph:
Finally, last but not least important, therefore, my most important reason, etc.
Paragraph 4 (or 5)
This is your conclusion. Use any of these at the beginning of this paragraph:
in conclusion, in closing, to summarize, in sum, in summary
At the beginning of a sentence
There are many transitional words and phrases that we can use at the beginning of a
sentence. These words have many different meanings, and this makes it more difficult
for us to use them correctly.

Compiled and organized by LVARO DEL CASTILLO and


JOSEFINA MILLN

TEACHER TRAINING CENTER


However
in spite of that; on the other hand; but
It is true that guns are dangerous. However, they are not responsible for the sudden rise
in violent crime.

Moreover
here is some more information; in addition; also
Television is a complete waste of time. Moreover, there is never anything good to watch.
Nevertheless
but; however; in spite of that
Sometimes my boyfriend makes me crazy. Nevertheless, I still love him.
For example, here is one example of what I mean
A dog is a wonderful pet. For example, it always comes when you call its name.
For instance
here is one example of what I mean
The internet is one of the greatest achievements in history. For instance, people can
now learn about almost anything online--it has more information than most libraries!
For one thing
this is my first example; one example is this
I hate my car! For one thing, it never starts in the morning.
In fact
here is some more specific information
Americans are fat people! In fact, statistics show that 4 out of 5 Americans are
overweight.
In point of fact
but here is some surprising information
Some people argue that guns are responsible for violence in our society. In point of fact,
most violent crimes do not involve guns.
Similarly
in the same or similar way
Both of my parents were teachers. Similarly, I am also a teacher.

Compiled and organized by LVARO DEL CASTILLO and


JOSEFINA MILLN

TEACHER TRAINING CENTER


Likewise
in the same or similar way
All machines require some kind of energy. Likewise, the human body also requires
energy--in the form of food.
In contrast
on the other hand
Animals just make sounds. In contrast, humans can speak and communicate.

In other words
what I mean to say is this
All politicians lie, cheat, and steal. In other words, the only people they really care about
are themselves.
All in all
in general; overall
My town has a library, a swimming pool, and a few good places to eat. All in all, it's a
nice place to live.
In short
here is a summary in very simple language
Pollution causes global warming, destroys the environment, and endangers human life.
In short, there is nothing good about pollution.
Grammar note: don't forget the comma!
Transitional phrases are usually used at the beginning of a sentence. They are
always followed by a comma. Examples:
In contrast, humans can speak and communicate.
For example, it always comes when you call its name.
Moreover, there is never anything good to watch.
Never forget your comma! This is a very, very important part of writing your TOEFL
essay.

Compiled and organized by LVARO DEL CASTILLO and


JOSEFINA MILLN

TEACHER TRAINING CENTER

10 Common TOEFL Essay Mistakes


Improve your TOEFL essay writing score by avoiding these 10 mistakes.
There are a few mistakes that you should never make in your TOEFL iBT essays. Here is
our list of 10 things you should never do:
1. Never use abbreviations
Students often make the mistake of using inappropriate abbreviations in their writing.
Never do this. Never write u instead of you. Don't write l8r instead of later. These are great
abbreviations for writing quick SMS messages, but not for an academic essay such as the
TOEFL writing.
2. Never end a sentence with three dots...
When you end a sentence with three dots (...), you are telling the reader that you don't
have the words and vocabulary to complete your thought. Don't do this. Ending your
sentences in this way is simply bad English...
3. Don't use slang
The TOEFL writing tests your ability to write an academic essay, not to use slang with your
friends in the pub. Never use any words or phrases that could be considered slang:
coulda, woulda, shoulda, gonna, wanna, blah blah blah. Slang will not impress the TOEFL
assessor, but it will lower your essay score.
4. Don't use emoticons :-)
Again, the TOEFL writing is academic in nature, and this is not the same as the writing you
use when sending SMS messages. Always avoid smileys and other emoticons. :-(
5. Don't use big words and complicated language
Many students think that their TOEFL iBT writing score will improve if they use big words
and complicated language. This is not true. In fact, the opposite is true. If you try to use big
words and complicated language, it will not sound natural. There is also a chance that you
will use the words incorrectly or make mistakes in grammar. It is important to express
yourself naturally, in a simple and elegant way, as a native English speaker would.
6. Never memorize a text
Never memorize an essay text, format, or template to use in the TOEFL iBT writing. The
assessors have a lot of experience correcting essays, and it is very easy to recognize
when a student has simply memorized text.
7. Do not begin a sentence with a conjunction
A conjunction is a word that is used to connect two words, phrases, or sentences. Here are
some examples: and, but, or. Only use these words for connections. Never begin a
sentence with one of these words.

Compiled and organized by LVARO DEL CASTILLO and


JOSEFINA MILLN

TEACHER TRAINING CENTER

8. Do not use contractions


A contraction is the combined form of two words. For example, if we have the words are
and not, they can be combined as aren't. Theoretically, this is good English. In academic
writing, however, it is usually not acceptable to use these short forms.
9. Do not write more than 5 paragraphs
Most TOEFL iBT essays are 5 paragraphs long. An essay with 5 paragraphs is possible,
but it is difficult to write because your time is limited. 4 paragraphs could work fine.
10. Never leave a sentence, paragraph, or idea incomplete
Always write in complete sentences and make sure that each sentence ends with the
proper punctuation. Similarly, when you write a paragraph, be sure to develop your ideas.
You always need at least two or three supporting sentences after the topic sentence. It is
usually not possible to have a paragraph with only two sentences.

Compiled and organized by LVARO DEL CASTILLO and


JOSEFINA MILLN

TEACHER TRAINING CENTER

10 Tips to Improve Your TOEFL Essays


By following this simple advice you may see a big improvement in your
TOEFL writing score.
There are many ways to improve your TOEFL writing, and a lot of these don't involve
studying at all. Here's our top ten list:
1. Answer the question
Your grammar may be perfect and your ideas may be great. Even so, if you don't answer
the TOEFL question, none of that matters. If the question asks for your opinion, be sure to
write about what you think--don't write about what other people think. On the other
hand, if the question is about what other people think or do, don't write about yourself.
2. Use short and simple sentences
Good writers can express complex ideas in a very simple way. If you are able to do this,
you will demonstrate strong writing skills. More importantly, short and simple sentences
mean fewer grammatical mistakes.
3. Give your essays a beginning, middle, and end
Learn the TOEFL essay structure. Your essay should have an introduction, a body, and a
conclusion. This structure helps organize your thoughts and makes it easier for readers to
understand.
4. Have a thesis statement
The thesis statement is the most important sentence in the essay. It is last sentence in the
first paragraph (the introduction), and it tells the reader exactly what your opinion is. Not
writing a thesis statement is one of the biggest mistakes you can make.
5. Use topic sentences
A topic sentence is the first sentence of each paragraph in the essay's body. It gives the
reader two things: 1) a summary of what will be in the paragraph, and 2) one reason that
supports your thesis statement.
6. Learn the conditionals: first, second, and third
Learning the conditionals may actually help you more than studying the tenses.
Conditionals are especially useful when expressing opinions and giving reasons, two
things that you must do in the TOEFL independent writing tasks.
Each conditional, however, has a slightly different meaning. This depends on reality,
possibility, and time. Learn how to use the conditionals, and practice them often. Not using
the conditionals correctly is one of the most common mistakes in TOEFL essays.
7. Never begin a sentence with a conjunction
The words and, but, and because are all conjunctions. In English, we only use conjunctions
to connect sentences--we almost never begin a sentence with one.
Compiled and organized by LVARO DEL CASTILLO and
JOSEFINA MILLN

TEACHER TRAINING CENTER


8. Learn how to use the comma (,) in English
Using the comma correctly will bring your writing to life. The good news is that many
languages use the comma. The bad news is that the rules for using the comma are often
different in each language! Learn the rules for using them in English--it will make your
writing much easier to understand.
9. Use the active voice
There are two "voices" in English: active and passive. Here they are:
ACTIVE:

Cats eat birds.

PASSIVE:

Birds are eaten by


cats.

The active voice is much stronger than the passive voice. Use the active voice as much as
possible.
10. Use transitional words and phrases
Transitional words and phrases make your writing easier to understand. They connect
ideas and present them to the reader in a logical order. Here are some examples: First of
all..., In addition..., More importantly..., In closing..., In conclusion....

Compiled and organized by LVARO DEL CASTILLO and


JOSEFINA MILLN

You might also like