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ASSESSMENT FOR “EDUCATION” ESSAYS

Assessment for TOBI essay

• It is the someone´s ability to teach something, to get


knowledge to someone and so on = is the ability to teach
and get knowledge to someone.

• In some government the education = in some


governments education.

• This government development teacher´s competitive =


these government, develop teacher’s competitions
between them.

• this government development teacher´s competitive but


in this competitive the teacher and other professionals
present the same test, professionals go to teach as the
last option to find a jog, many professionals like this
getting a jog as a teacher but to be precise they do not
have any idea to be a teacher the government becomes
a profits of money and leaving totalment forgat this
beautiful profession to be teacher.

“You have to organize your ideas, because I couldn’t


understand what you tried to say. Be careful when you write,
the words are not well written (jog, totalment forgat)”.

• This question in detail = this question in a deep way.

• Let us look at the degrees are the professions such as,


economist, engineers they cam spend a little time to get
graduations. Than a degree of chemistry, mathematics or
foreign language = the degrees are the professions such
as: economist, engineers, etc. Which spend a little time
for finishing them than a degree of chemistry,
mathematics or foreign language.

• Has or hag? “Owing to this situation the teacher´s school


hag to equalize”.

You have to use punctuation marks, because the sentences


lose the sense. Read more about the topic, you have to
support your point of view.

Assessment for JHONKYS essay

In this essay I didn’t find any mistakes, but I think that should
read it.

Assessment for YESSICA essay

This essay is good, but has a lot of information. You have to


summarize it and write the principal ideas.

Assessment for JOHNNACAROLINA essay

In this essay I didn’t find any mistakes, but I think that should
read it.

Assessment for DELACUESTA essay

In this essay I didn’t find any mistakes, but I think that should
read it.

Assessment: for Keyla Meriño Perea essay

- Well the first paragraph is a run on, no sentences, it should


be broken up in separate statements (someone learns in a
faster way)…
- It kind of reads like rambling
- Or also in a pleasant and solid form that is the didactic.
Another theme is the education as.
- The questions marks how does it transmit? Can be
changed to commas, lower case (and) to make one
complete sentence.
- First of all instead of at teacher teaches (actually that
sentence is no correct… It rambles)

- The following stage not follow stage whose interaction”


- In the 3rd paragraph after the word process there should be
a period. Then start a new sentence.

- There are many differences in 4th paragraph

- The last paragraph has minimal error. But in the 4th and 5th
she needs to look for a place to end the sentences.

Assessment: for Karen Rojano essay

THE CONSEQUENCES OF THE NEW SHIFTS…..

In the last years, the word is has experimented (has


experimented (without is) a complex process of shifts
in the economic, social…/../ and therefore educative
organization. On the base of this process is found an
accelerate and permanent development of knowledge.
Those shifts increase the circulation of all kind of
information. Normally, it means ¨globalization¨. On the
other hand this process implies deep shifts in the
educative structure in general as:

Firstly, in the frequent renovation of skills and


competences needy (needy competences. First
adjective and after the noun) for a successful
performance in the most of occupations, and secondly
the increasing requirement of a minimum degree or (of)
certificate to jobs of low work profile. Thanks to this
speed of change in the world economic, social and
educative structures, it is extremely necessary and
relevant to modify the international educative system. It
is evident that the international educative was not
prepared to affront this unexpected global situation. One
of the horrible consequences of this process for global
education is the rising increase of educative inequalities
due to the social inequalities because the list of
requirements from the alimentation until pedagogical
strategies different (different pedagogical
strategies) for different situations. The educative
inequality is originated for a rising gulf between rich and
poor.

Thus we can see that to pass knowledge and techniques


it is not enough. It assume that the necessity of
development of skills and competences, which allow
incorporate others through the rest of life. It is also
known that the educative system produce inequalities in
a tolerant way for a social cohesion. In this context what
is the ideal educative system for the currently?

Consequently, I suggest that it is necessary and relevant


from a politic and pedagogic point of view to work in
(on) an educative system in which strengthens the
schools like environments that allow the direct
interaction between social class and the existence of
multiple community scenes. For this new system it
requires professionals of teaching with different profiles,
knowledges (speeling)competences to promote the
individual learning like cooperative teachers who create
a new didactic allow (a new didactic that allow to
use )use the new technologies available ( the new
available technologies). To promote the learning is
infinitively more difficult than transmit information, but it
is not a new challenge it has being the challenge to
affront from the earlier years of teaching research.

You should work on the punctuation marks.

Remember that in English, the adjective that qualifies


the noun goes first.

Assessment : for Efigenia essay

Education includes a series of instructions and disciplines


which it is attempting to enlighten the knowledge, where it
specifies to know to do something and in what form, for this
reason it necessary to understand the role of the teacher in
the learning-teaching process.

The scholar institution has to modify the old methods that we


can meet (maybe you could use another verb as: find) in
the academic period as the canal of the transformations,
(.)The old methods does not exist because, nowadays
teachers would find many strategies to do (apply, carry out
or execute) inside the classroom with the innovative tools
that the new society proposes.

To emphasize, the education(must ,has ,should?) to face


many challenges, that is to say, the education would be an
indispensable tool to humanity and it permit to progress
towards the ideals of peace, freedom and social justice, now
the question is the follow :Are new teachers going to change
the establish education?

The answer is not easy but I think that today's teachers have
new ideas and take into account the actual situation of the
education, for example, a math teacher, in him class not only
teach number nor(but) the way in which this knowledge will
be practice and useful in the daily life.

In this order of ideas, the education in Colombia represents


the only way to defeat the poverty and it need a deep change
in the administrative structure and the way to develop the
class because, it is fundamental that the national government
promotes the coverage and quality of the Colombian
education, where whose are engaged to learning-teaching
process will be a vehicle between the innovation and the
political institution for beating the scholar desertion that is a
grave problem in our country.

In conclusion, the education requires promoting the


socialization of the person to obtain a fair society to everyone
finding to learn values and rights of the citizen without any
discrimination.

Avoid repeating the same word; you should use a synonym of


WAY as: mode, manner, style.

And use synonyms of some verbs that are so much common.

Assessment: for RENE essay

EDUCATION: A GREAT TOOL FOR PEOPLE


DEVELOPMENT

Education is a fundamental element for the optimal


development of both individuals and communities of a
country. Although there are educational institutions in
Columbian high quality, most of them are not accessible to
the mass of the population. Moreover, the coverage is
insufficient and, in general, the quality is very low, which
makes the process of education can not develop even in an
acceptable manner. Taking into account, the demands of the
globalized world in which we live. The situation is quite
critical, because a significant percentage of the population
can only access to public education, which is awful. This is a
big problem in our country, it is the main cause of most
economic and social problems we have, and can be due to
many others. Thus, the poor education provided at Columbia
not only represents a current problem of great importance,
but also represents a potential problem that most likely will
affect us in the future.

The statistics published in the institutions that compete the


subject of education in Columbian, show the serious crisis
being experienced by formal education. According to some
studies published by some magazine (s) (DINERO), the 5827
public schools rated 63% of the total, only 7.6% are found in
much higher level and higher, while 64.1% are in the middle
and lower levels. This coupled with the 4 million children and
young people who do not attend school, the lack of coverage,
displacement or violence and the fact that 79.4% of the
population of school age have to go to public education, is one
of the biggest problems facing today's Colombia.

Moreover, much of the importance of education lies in the role


it has on the construction of civic culture and community
development in general. In other words, we tend to expect
much more of this man who is educated, that he who has not
education or very little. To start, following a rational attitude,
most people who are educated do not because they pretend
to be thieves, or rapists, or thugs, but because they want to
achieve their individual goals by socially acceptable means.
Also, if it is true that some people with high levels of
education, for example, stealing state property, much less
controllable even people who have no(not) education are
corrupt because they are not just for vanity, but by their own
ignorance and lack of opportunity, are more vulnerable to
commit injustice. This is one way that education makes
individuals better and helps to make a better community.

Another important factor is the poor quality and insufficient


coverage of public education, this is a problem that affects all
of society by the influence this has on the state that we must
bear in mind that nearly 20 million Colombia’s people live in
poverty and extreme poverty. Then, this deficiency makes the
whole system works poorly, because for optimal performance
of democracy is necessary plurality in thought, and the model
of Colombian public education this system is designed for the
opposite, to standardize the ways of thinking and thus make
easier the exercise of government by the authorities.
Moreover, low levels of expertise given the lack of
management by the official sector, as a country we are also
affected, increasing the lawlessness and social problems, and
makes us a country incompetent (an incompetent country)
to today's globalized world.
However, it is known by all Colombians, that the issue of
public education crisis is not the only issue that needs
attention and a speedy solution, because there are very
serious problems like drug trafficking, violence and
displacement. But in this sense, education also plays an
important role, because it is the root cause of all social
problems being experienced in our country. That is,
lawlessness, lack of opportunity, and injustices that are
highlighted in the list of causes of the problems mentioned
above and many others also have low quality background in
public education and the inequity in distribution thereof.

So, if we improved and we extended the Colombian public


education in our country there would be more justice and
equity, and therefore more peace. When people are educated,
it is natural to gain status in society for the merit which means
their knowledge, thus a doctor sees as its necessary
counterpart to another doctor, regardless of other conditions
they live both. Likewise, when most people have a good level
of education, opportunities are given a more equitable
because it does not exist so markedly the factors that make a
poor person cannot access high office. Similarly, there would
be more justice because it is much more complicated cheat or
steal from an educated person than an ignorant, because
when someone has studied knows your rights and tools they
have to enforce them, and it is also very convenient to avoid
corruption which damages both the Colombian state. Not to
mention the countless positive effects in our country to invest
and promote more education, because this would (be?),
without doubt, the best deal that could make our country.

Education is a great tool or means to solve the problems of a


society, however, I think this should be strictly linked to a field
of ethics and moral self-oblige the individual to put into
practice.

Your writing is well organized; it is obvious that it was written


with your own words. Congratulations. But there are some
mistakes that you have to take into account. For example
COLOMBIA (it is a noun that you cannot translate, Columbian
is a state of EE.UU so it is different) and remember that in
English the adjective that qualifies the verb goes first.

Assessment: for Bayron essay

FINANCIAL EDUCATION

One time(Once), I made myself one question, why must we


study? So that, many people said to me (I should ) become a
lawyer, a teacher, a doctor or(something else) someone in life,
others advise(me to) "Go to school, get good grades, and look
for a safe, secure job." My own opinion is the truth(none sense
at all); it is difficult to believe we have that to prepare us five,
six, seven or eight years to obtain a title at the university after
to get a job in order to earn money. But I have talked with
professional people who have graduated, they have worked in
their careers, however they possess financial problems. The
main difficulty is to manage the money; they said the wage is
not enough. I want to write about it.

The school is an important institution where we are going to


educate (us), but does school prepare children for the real
world? The university give (s=third person) us tools for
defending (us) in professional life, however we have problems
in finance.
Robert Kiyosaki stresses financial literacy as the means to
obtaining wealth. He says that life skills are often best learned
through experience and that there are important lessons not
taught in school. He says that formal education is primarily for
those (who are seeking, maybe) seeking to be employees or
self-employed individuals, and that this is an "Industrial Age
idea." And according to Kiyosaki, in order to obtain financial
freedom, one must be either a business owner or an investor,
generating passive income.

"The main reason (why) people struggle financially is because


they have spent years in school but learned nothing about
money." Robert Kiyosaki
For example: A student graduates, he finds that (a) job,
maybe as a (an) enginner (engineer) or a lawyer. Generally,
the student begins to make money, credit cards, start (s) to
arrive in mass, and the shopping begins.

"Having money to spent, the student knows his girlfriend and


they get married, both men and women work. Two incomes
are bliss.
They feel successful, their future is bright, and they decide to
buy a house, a car, a television, take vacations and have
children. The raise come, and so does (do) another child
(another child what?) and the need for a bigger house. They
work harder (to) become better employees, even more
dedicated.

They go back to school to get more specialized skills, so they


can earn more money. Maybe they take a second job. Their
incomes go up, but so does the tax bracket they're in and the
real estate taxes on their new large home, and their Social
Security taxes, and all the other taxes.
They buy some mutual funds and buy groceries with their
credit card. The children reach 5 or 6 years of age, and the
need to save for college increases as well as the need to save
for their retirement. .

"That happy couple, born 35 years ago, is now trapped in a


vicious circle or Rat Race called by Robert Kiyosaki for the rest
of their working days. They work for the owners of their
company, for the government paying taxes, and for the bank
paying off a mortgage and credit cards.
Then, they advise their own children to study hard, get good
grades, and find a safe job or career. They learn nothing about
money.

Here is where(the ploblem is) is the problem, “money” the


school only we teach us academic topics, to be employees
and not finance, the government must invest in financial
education to eradicate poverty, which is the ability to
understand finance more specifically, it refers to an
individual's ability to make informed judgments and effective
decisions about the use and management of their money.
I suggest that the educative institutions could take the idea
about finance for implementing in the classroom, in that way
in order to guide to the students in a financial future and to be
entrepreneurs. It is not easy to apply financial education in
life, but little to(by) little it could improve with habits, just we
have to begin knowing to manage 50 pesos and to become it
in 100 pesos and so on.
Maybe I am not the best giving advises, but it would be a
project in order to improve our education… Another thing
more I already am working to have financial freedom.

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