Lindsey Ferrante

American Dream Essay

Block C
October 10, 2016
Economic Struggles in the American Dream
This country was founded on the idea of an American Dream. People
are doing everything in their power to get into our country because they are
in hope of finding and fulfilling their American dream. However, throughout
the years the American Dream has become harder than ever to obtain
because of different economic difficulties mainly due to student debt worries,
employment struggles, and health care and retirement difficulties. These
economic troubles have forever changed the way Americans perceive the
American dream and go about achieving it.
Student debt has been a recent issue in this country. Presidential
candidates running have stated they would make college free because of the
amount it costs. That fact increased the number of supporters by thousands.
The cost of college is at an all-time (high and the American people have been
suffering because of it. College has become something that only the top one
percent can afford without coming out of college with hundreds of thousands
of dollars in debt. According to the article What Is The American Dream, it
states, For instance, in 1970, you could buy a gallon of gas for $.36 and
attend Harvard for $4,070. In 2015, a gallon of gas would cost $2.40(a 666%
increase) and a year at Harvard would cost $45,278 (a 1,110% increase)

Brant. These inflation costs are ridiculous and unfair to the young adult
population in America. The college graduates are coming into the real world
with hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt, and are looking for a good
paying job just to help pay them it off. The American Dream, has shifted
from having a job that paid the bills, to having a job that pays the student
loan. (Bryant). The issue in student loans just manifests into bigger
problems such as employment struggles that just (don't use just twice in
this sentence) increases the economic difficulties.
Employment struggles have been a recent issue in this country. In the
1950s it was very uncommon to have both parents working. Usually, the
father went off to work and the mother stayed home with the children. Now
both parents have to work to support their children and family. Once you
graduate college the norm is to find a white collar job to pay off your student
debt, however, But they find that they cant land those jobs, and they have
to settle for a blue collar job (Bryant). And these blue collar jobs have a
large pay gap between the white collar jobs they need, but, it hasnt always
been like this, While the white collar workers have always earned a little
more (on average), the blue collar workers still made a decent living
(Bryant). However, compared to today, the biggest difference is that there
is an enormous pay disparity. The pay gap between the blue collar and white
collar workers has widened drastically over the years (Bryant). The pay gap
has not only been affecting the fortunate ones who go to college but also the

blue collar working class families. The employment woes have been affecting
both the upper class and the working class families.
The health care and retirement systems have been financially affecting
the hard working American people. People today are living longer than ever,
and because of this, their insurance premiums have increased. Today people
have to work harder and longer to be able to pay for their health insurance,
Based on the average wage for that year, it would take 467 hours to cover
healthcare expenses (roughly 58 days) (Bryant). This means that on
average a quarter of their salaries go towards health care. Along with health
care comes retirement. Americans have gone from doing jobs they love to
finding jobs that have a pension because that's the only way they can afford
to retire. For example, my aunt, who works for a union and still has a
pension, cannot afford to have a different job, because wouldn't be able to
retire- she would be working her whole entire life. This is true for many
Americans. Many Americans work up until their death because they have no
other option. This is very sad because America hasn't always been like this,
This meant that you wouldnt have to worry about retirement. You wouldnt
have to scrape and save and depend on the stock market for your retirement
livelihood (Bryant). Once again the American dream has transformed from
having relatively inexpensive health insurance and a nice pension when you
retire, to spending a quarter of your paycheck on health insurance and not
retiring because you cannot afford it.

In conclusion, the American dream has been greatly affected by

economic difficulties. Whether it is the hundreds of thousands of dollars in
debt you graduate college with, the job you must find to pay off these debts,
to spending a quarter of your paycheck on health insurance, and then on top
of all of that not being able to retire because you cannot afford it, the
American dream has changed and has suffered because of this.

Bibliography
Bryant, Sean. "What Is the American Dream in 2016?" Investopedia. N.p., 26 Jan. 2016.
Web. 10 Oct. 2016.

1. What did you hope to accomplish with this writing?

In this essay, I really tried explain my beliefs on what has changed the American Dream. I hoped to
have had a lot of support to my thesis and topic sentences. I also tried to make it easy to read and
understand because thats something I often struggle with
2. What do you think you did well in this writing?
I think I did a good job having multiple supporting details in my body paragraphs. I also did a very
good job having a lot of text evidence and doing a good job of correctly putting it into the essay.
3. What are areas of weakness in this essay?
Im still having trouble with making it fluent and not be as choppy and awkward sounding but I think I
have made a lot of progress with it. Another area of weakness in my essay is time management.
Prior to this essay I had another one about the same topic but was not as good and the topic didnt
really answer the question being asked. I think if I just gave that topic up earlier I could have had a
lot more time to work on this essay and the new thesis I have created
4. After the peer review and self revision, what are changes that you made?
My partner actually really saved me because after reading his essay I saw clearly what I was
missing and what my essay should sound similar to. Also once he was finished reading my essay he
said theres no text evidence and then I thought wait there really isnt any text evidence I can
include. Thats when I decided to change my thesis and to start from scratch.
5.
What would you specifically like me to look for in this essay?
I would like you to look at my supporting paragraphs and supporting details, and my conclusion. In
all three of those areas I thought I did a very good job making it logically but at the same time
making it interesting and sounding good.

Rubric:

4 = exemplary

3=proficient

2=developing

1=insufficient

Purpose: writing clearly communicates an insightful or original point or purpose

Development: writing supports purpose with sound thoughts, ideas, and arguments that reference and explain
specific details or facts

Organization: writing is well organized and features logical progression, effective transitions, and coherence
within and among paragraphs

Style: writing creates reader's interest through accurate, varied and creative use of words, sentence types,
and sentence patterns

Grammar: writing follows conventions of standard written English about literature (includes: spelling,
punctuation, capitalization, syntax, MLA format, etc.