Joining the Ban-Wagon

In the last one year, we all have experienced, heard and read about different
kinds of bans and sanctions imposed on us, that we are now as close to getting
sick of them, as close is Leonardo DiCaprio to his first Oscar. We all know that
they both deserve it, but its just not there yet. In fact, banning is the only thing
you read in the last 10 pages or so, and you were probably planning to throw
away the magazine, but then you read my name and decided to read it because
you just cant miss it, can you? But more on how talented I am later. Lets focus
on why banning is good for the overall development of a nation and how we can
help!
I dont know what is the big deal in banning something and why do people
oppose it? In fact, people should welcome bans as Narendra Modi welcomes
foreign investments. Indians, as a matter of fact, experience bans at a very early
age. Our parents, for example, banned us from playing in the sun, the rain, on
the roof or sometimes playing all together. Studies on the other hand were never
banned- tell me when was time when our parents came to your room and said
Beta bahut padh liye, thoda khel lo. And see how well we turned out- all those
sanctions on our playing and going out with our friends made us a fine, fine
gentlemen (or ladies, if you like it that way). So you see, bans were good,
historically.
But lets see what the Narendra Modi and his affiliated governments have
banned. I mean, like parents, they too care for us and want us to be alright. Like
banning meat during the Jain festival Paryushan or during Ganesh Chaturthi. I,
being a meat lover, support it. I just want this thing to be mutual- like the same
governments slashing the price of meat by half (or more) during the Ramadan
month. The Jains and Hindus would be happy to give their support. Or be it
banning mobile and jeans for girls. Lets face it, Jeans and mobile are the leading
reasons for rapes, followed by skirts and roaming of girls at night, the boys come
a distant fifth. By banning them, well ensure no more rapes happen in India.
Similarly, a lot of furore was there when the documentary Indias Daughter and
AIBs funny roast of Arjun Kapoor and Ranveer Singh were banned. The
government could have avoided all of it- by telling us all, the real reason behind
banning them was not profanity or a war against our country, but irony. The irony
that the documentary was funny while the roast wasnt. I am not even going into
maggi and sites which were banned. I hope youre getting my point here.
But why are people whining and complaining about all these bans baffles me.
Yes, banning might be in total conflict with the basic idea of a democracy, that
you cannot force someone to do anything. But then, arent they for the benefit of
the society? In fact, I urge you all to support the government like I did. Also, I
have some suggestions what the Government could ban next.
First off, Hindi TV serials, especially, Yeh Rishta Kya Kehlata Hai. Trust me, I have
had my share of tortures, but this beats every torture, each day of the week and
twice on Sunday (when they air the Mahaepisodes). Next in my list is KRK,
Poonam Pandey and other hungry for publicity celebs or as they are commonly
called, Bigg Boss contestants. Their collective IQ is actually less than the
number of Indrani Mukherjees husbands. They arent just a burden on our

country, but on the planet too. Further, the list includes item songs, Party Songs,
Self-proclaimed rappers like Yo Yo Honey Singh, Godmen like Nirmal Baba
amongst others. This list is not exhaustive and you all can join in to give
suggestions. Please Mr. Modi, we beg you, help us out here. Even if one of the
above things is banned, the country flourishes.
Bans are an effective tool for an emerging superpower to actually be a
superpower and our government realizes that. Thats why we are faced with so
many bans and a number of sanctions in our everyday life. Our duty, as a
responsible citizen, is to support the government that we voted into power, even
if that means sacrificing our own rights as a citizen. I support you,
wholeheartedly, our superb, hungry for foreign investment government of our
country. And I plead with my fellow citizens, hop on with us, join the ban (d)
wagon. Its going to be one hell of a ride.
P.S: The father of the writer is a former R.S.S pracharak and hell not find it
amusing when he reads it. The writer urges the readers to pray for him, his
pocket money is intact for coming months.