INTRODUCTION:

The manners in which mates can be acquired are various in tribal India.
Marriages among the non-literates are basically a secular contract and so
it is necessarily not accompanied with religious solemnization as like that
of Hindu marriage. However, contact with Hindus has invested this
religious solemnization with a prestige value in eyes of the tribal people
and numerous are the instances in Middle India where the tribal folks have
their traditional marriage ceremony as well as some imitation of the Hindu
ritual marriage. The Ho provides such an instance. It must be noted,
however, that among several tribes, like the Khasi, for instance, marriage
has something of a religious sanction also. Marriage brings together, not
just two individuals, but two families in a network of social obligations.
WAYS OF ACQUIRING MATES:
Eight important ways of acquiring a mate may be listed on the basis of
data reported from tribal India. They are:
1. Acquiring a mate by probation,
2. Acquiring a mate by capture,
3. Acquiring a mate by trial,
4. Acquiring a mate by purchase,
5. Acquiring a mate by service,
6. Acquiring a mate by exchange,
7. Acquiring a mate by mutual consent and elopement, and
8. Acquiring a mate by intrusion.
These are narrated below:
1. Acquiring mate by probation:
Acquiring a mate by probation involves the consent of the girls parents
besides the consent of the girls herself. For example, among the Kukis of
Manipur, when a boy is fond of a girl, the girls parent permit the boy to
live with the girl in their house for several weeks and try to understand
each other. If the boy and the girl find each others temperament to be
suitable and compatible, the parents of the girl decide to give their
daughter in marriage to the boy. If the boy and the girl find each others
temperament to be unsuitable and incompatible, they separate and the
boy pays cash compensation to the girls parents.
2. Acquiring a mate by capture:
Acquiring a mate by capture can be found in many parts of the world.
Capture may be physical capture or ceremonial capture. In physical
capture, a boy adopts a procedure whereby he carries away the girl by
force and marries her. In ceremonial capture, a boy adopts a procedure

whereby he surprises the girl by marking her forehead with a symbol that
tantamount to marriage.
Physical capture takes place in various situations. In one situation a boy
may seize a girl from an enemy camp or village, takes her away as a
feminine prize and will marry her. Among the Yahoma of Venezuela and
northern Brazil, men of one village abduct women from other village and
take them as their spouses. Among the Nagas of Nagaland and Arunachal
Pradesh, there will be raids by one village on another. During such raids
men capture women and accept them as wives.
Physical capture may take place in a different situation. A boy who loves a
girl but can not get his love reciprocated by the girl ventures to take away
the girl by force and marry her. That means the kidnapping takes place
without the consent of the girl. This kind of Physical capture occurs among
the Bagatas and Saoras of Andhra Pradesh, the Ho of Bihar (who call it
oportipi) and the Bhils of Rajasthan.
Physical capture may also take place in a still different situation. If a boy
and a girl who love each other but fail to get married, the boy may, with
the support of the girls relatives, takes away the girl by force and marries
her. That means, the capture takes place with the consent of the girl and
with the consent of her relatives. Among the Muria Gonds of Bastar (who
call it pasiother) the capture takes place often at the request of the
parents of the girl. Remaining unmarried for too long does not reflect upon
her cross-cousin to take her away. The girls parents pretend to resist the
efforts of the boy when he carries away the girl. The girl also pretends that
she is being captured by the would-be husband.
Ceremonial capture is not as complicated as the Physical capture. Among
the Kharia and the Birhor of Bihar, a man desirous of marrying a girl,
whom he cannot acquire by a more straight forward method, would lie in
wait for her in a public place or at a fair, and then surprises her by
applying vermilion mixed with oil to her forehead. This act of the boy is
regarded as equivalent to his marriage with the girl (Majumdar and
Madan, 1956).
Why people get a wife by Capture?
One reason is the security of woman. For example, the Nagas practiced
female infanticide because of the fear of raids by the enemies. Due to this
reason often they had to get a mate from enemy groups. Another reason
is that physical capture is cheap and adventuresome, although it is risky
too. For example, the Ho has to pay a heavy bride-price if a mate is to be
chosen by negotiation. Hence, capturing a woman is considered as the
best solution to avoid payment of heavy bride-price. A third reason is the
inability of parents to arrange the marriage of their daughters in time. For
example, if the Muria Gonds of Bastar do not have the marriage of their
daughter in time, they encourage her cross-cousin to take her away.
3. Acquiring a mate by Trial:

Marriage by trial is the recognition of personal courage and bravery as

highly desirable traits in a young man to prove his prowess before he can
claim the hand of any girl in marriage. If he succeeds in the task assigned
to him he has the right to name any girl as his wife. Among the Bhil such a
practice is reported to prevail even now. During the Holi festival young
men and women practice a folk dance round a pole or a tree to the top of
which coconut and gud ( a piece of jaggary) are tied. Anybody is free to
dance round this tree. The women make an inner ring of dancers round
the tree, and the men an outer ring. The trial of strength begins when a
young man attempts to break through the inner ring to reach and climb the
tree to eat the gud and break open the coconut. The women dancers
resist his attempts by tearing at his clothes and hair, by striking him with
broom sticks, and by even tearing at his flesh, though this is in good
faith. If, inspite of all these obstacles, a daring man succeeds in reaching
the top of the tree, he has the right to choose any of the surrounding girls
as his wife and takes her away immediately.
4. Acquiring a mate by purchase :
Marriage by, what has been called, purchase is found prevalent all over
tribal India. The Naga tribes pay a bride price and so do the tribes in
Middle India. The bride price may be paid in cash or kind or both. Lowie
has emphasized that although the economic nature of this bride price
payment cannot be minimized, it nevertheless would be wrong to regard
the payment of a bride price as indicating sale and purchase. It may be
only symbolic of the utility of a woman, and by way of compensation to her
parents family. In case the dowry which is often given to a girl by her
parents is considerable the payment of a bride price ceases to have an
economic significance. The Rengma Nagas pay a bride price, but no
economic significance is attached to it. To emphasize the non-economic
nature and moral significance of the practice, they pay ten rupees less
than the settled bride price. However, as Lowie has pointed out, the
economic aspect of the practice of bride price payment is not negligible.
The economic aspect of the bride price has assumed huge proportions
among some of the Indian tribes, the Ho being one such notable example.
Their general economic conditions are not much worse that what they
were before they came into contact with the agencies of the urban city
culture, but the basic economic values have got completely changed. The
amount of bride price to be paid is so high and it is against ones status
and prestige to accept a lower amount for ones child, that many young
men and women remain unmarried. As a consequence, some young men
often resort to marriage by capture and the spinsters have often to
undergo further injustice by being identified with witchcraft and sorcery.
The desire to marry is compelling and the willing money lender is ever
ready with his loans which never get paid up. The frustrated sex-drive also
leads to irregular liaisons.

Thus, we find that the bride price among Chota Nagpur tribes has none of
those moral virtues which it has among the Rengma Naga. It has been
pointed out that the absence of bride price among the Ao and the Angmi
Naga has resulted in a low status for women and prostitution and that it is
bride price which has protected the Rengma woman from these ills. In
Chota Nagpur too bride price was meant, as in Assam, to be a stabilizing
ands useful factor, but its persistence in a partially changed and illadjusted cultural setting has made it injure just those very interests which
it was intended to serve.
Some of the tribes have arrived at a solution to this problem of high bride
price. Thus, if a Gond or a Baiga finds himself not in a position to pay the
bride price, he goes to serve in his would-be-father-in-laws house as a
suitor-servant (Gonds call him lamanai and the Baiga lamsen a or
gaharia), and marries the desired girl after a lapse of some years, after
which they both return to his household. Among the Birhor, the father-inlaw often lends money, which is returned in installments, to enable the
son-in-law to pay the bride price. Till such time as the loan is repaid the
son-in-law is compelled to stay at his father-in-laws household. It has
been reported that Gurkha labourers from Nepal come down among the
Jaunsar Khasa to work as agricultural labourers on the promise that, after
the completion of a stipulated period of service on the land, Khasa
daughters will be given in marriage to them. This has become a popular
practice in view of the prevailing tension between the landlords and the
Kolta who were the traditional serfs and worked as farm lands.
5. Acquiring a mate by service :
Marriage by service is another approved way of getting a wife in the
primitive society. It may also be called bride-service which requires the
groom to work for his brides family, sometimes before the marriage and
sometimes afterwards. It is the way to secure a bride among the Purums
of Manipur. According to the custom the prospective groom has to serve in
the house of the brides parents for 3 years. He may be required to
perform any work assigned to him. He is provided with board and lodge
during his stay in the house of the brides father. After the said period is
over if the parents of the bride are satisfied at the service of the young
man they give their daughter in marriage to him. Such type of marriage is
also found among the Gonds, the Daflas, etc. Among the North Alaskar
Eskimos the boy works for his in-laws after the marriage is arranged. To
oblige them he may simply catch a seal for them.
This method of acquiring a mate is rare. Evans-Pritchard, in his study of
241 tribal groups, found that only 30 observed it. In our country, the Bhils
and the Gonds occasionally observe marriage by service. When the
parents of the boy cannot afford to pay the bride-price, the boy gives his
services to the parents of the girl. Wages for his service are negotiated
and the amount accumulated on account of his service is transferred to

the amount of bride-price. When there is final adjustment, the marriage is

arranged.
6. Acquiring a mate by Exchange :
There is a practice among some tribes and even among the lower and
intermediate castes to marry by exchange. It is a practice which saves a
man from paying the bride-price. It is a modified form of marriage by
purchase. According to this, the brother gives his sister in marriage to
another man and gets the latters sister as his wife. In this case, there is
no transaction of bride-price. This form of marriage thus saves both the
families from any expenditure. In most of the Indian tribes, this means of
acquiring a mate is practiced. It involves two mens exchanging daughters
or sisters so that each man obtains a wife for himself or for a brother or a
son. This is found to be prevailing practically all over India. But the Khasi
do not do practice it. This way of marriage is sometimes preferred to avoid
bride-price. In Australia and Melanesia a mans sister is commonly given
to his wifes brother in return for the latters sister. Thus neither family
suffers a loss of women though marriage. Exchange occurs also among
the Arab, the Urali, the Vishavan, the Malavadan, the Mill Pantaram.
7. Acquiring a mate by mutual consent and elopement:
In many tribal societies marriage by love or mutual consent is prevalent.
The Ho calls it rajkhusi marriage. When a boy and a girl are in love and
decides to become mate of each other in future life, they inform their
guardians who formally celebrate the marriage. In Hindu society as well as
in some other societies marriage by love is considered to be of lower
standard than the marriage by negotiation.
Acquiring a mate by elopement is more or less approved means by which
determined individuals can disobey their elders and choose their own
mates. Mate selection by elopement occurs among the Fiji of Oceania,
Gusli of Kenya, Iban of Borneo, Red Indian and Ojibwa Red Indians of
United States, Kaingang Red Indians of Brazil, Kurnai of Australia, Kwoma
and Mundugumor of New Guinea, Samoa of Polynesia, Siwai of Solomon
Islands, Subanun of Phillipines, Murngin of Australia, Muria Gonds of
Bastar, Bagata, Saora, Khond and other tribes of Andhra Pradesh and
many other societies. Mate selection by elopement takes place in every
known society.
Why should people choose a social disapproval blocks a fervently desired
marriage? When a planned marriage, with a distasteful partner is about to
be forced on the unwilling one, elopement is a way out.
What is the pattern of elopement ?
Elopement usually involves running off then waiting for some days or
months or even one or two years and hoping that the marriage will finally
be approved. Generally speaking, the indulgent elders always receive
back the over bond eloped pair and allow them to live as wife and

husband.
8. Acquiring a mate by Intrusion:
It is another peculiar mode of securing a mate which is practiced by the
Chenchu, the Santal, the Ho and others. The Ho calls this custom
Anader. Here the initiative is taken by the bride. When a boy has
intimate relations with a girl whom he promises to marry but postpones the
ceremony continually, she stealthily enters his hut in one early morning
and takes her seat in one corner. The mother of the boy tries to drive her
out by all means and even by physical force. If the girl sticks to her
position till she wins her case. Then, the neighbours assemble in the
courtyard, the village officers are called and the boy is forced to marry her
formally. No ceremony is required to legalize this marriage.
Acquiring a mate by intrusion can be found only in a small number of
societies. In mate selection by capture, a boy takes away by force a girl he
is fond of but who is unwilling to marry him. On the contrary, in mate
selection by intrusion a girl forces a boy to accept her as his spouse.
It may occur in the following two situations:
a. A girl may force a boy she is fond of but who is unwilling to accept her
as his mate and to marry her. For example, among the Birhor and Ho of
Bihar and an over-fond girl is actually subjected to insulting and harsh
treatment, often beaten, turned out and refused food, but she refuses to
abandon her intensions and finally is accepted as one of these impossible
girls.
b. Mate selection by intrusion may happen if a woman tries to assert
herself and secure a rightful status for her, when the man designs to
ignore his responsibility. For example, among the Kamars of Madhya
Pradesh a woman becoming pregnant in a casual romantic intrigue,
intrudes into the mans house and does not abandon her efforts until she
is accepted as the legal wife of the man.
Besides the above mentioned ways of acquiring a mate, we may also
discuss the following three different forms of acquiring a mate in detail.
i. Adoptive marriage :
According to this system of marriage, a young man is adopted into a
family and the girl belonging to that family is married to him. After marriage
the couple lives generally in the brides family.
It is more or less a device by which a patrilineal family maintains its line
when there is no son. By legal fiction the son-in-law becomes son in his
wifes family and his children belong to her family ands not his. It is
practiced in Indonesia and modern Japan.
ii. Visit marriage :
When the husband does not even live with the bride but visits her only at
conventional times, it is called visit marriage. It was found among the
Nayars of South India. About the time of puberty Nayar girls took ritual

husbands. The union was publicly established with ceremonial

performance. Afterwards the husband had no responsibility for her.
Customarily the bride used to live with her parents family and she was
visited now and then by her husband or some others. The blood relatives
take the responsibility to maintain her and her children. This custom was
prevalent among the Kuliin Brahmins of Bengal also. In the Khasi Hill, the
Syntengs practice visit marriage.
iii. Ghost marriage :
If a man married or unmarried, dies without male issue it becomes the
duty of one of his kinsman to marry a woman on his behalf. The sons of
such a union are legally the children of the dead man and inherit social or
ritual privileges which he should normally pass on to his sons. This custom
of ghost marriage is found among the Nuer of Africa. A woman also may
sometimes contract ghost marriage with another woman on behalf of a
dead kinsman. The children of the second woman begotten by some
extraneous man are legally the offsprings of the female husbands.
Conclusion :
The way of acquiring a mate refers to the characteristic manner in which a
spouse is selected. It is the procedure or method of finding or obtaining a
wife or husband. To be precise, it may be called the manner of mate
choice or spouse selection.
However, the study of the varying means of acquiring a mate indicates
that the core aspect of primitive marriage is the payment of bride-price. It
is argued that bride-price has to be paid by the parents of the girl, for they
not only gave birth to the girl but also brought her up, nurtured her and in
the present context educated her. Bride-price is considered to be valid
compensation for such a long period of the rearing girl.
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