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Attraction 101: What Every Guy Needs to Know

About Attracting Women & Maintaining Their


Interest
By Dan Bacon, Leading Dating Expert & CEO of TheModernMan.com

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My aim with this eBooklet is to:

a) Kill off any of the myths or ineffective mindsets that might be slowing
you down.
b) Get you to really understand how natural attraction works.
c) Show you how to boost your attractiveness to women.
d) Explain how to keep women interested when youre interacting with
them or in a relationship
Think of this as your personal checklist to use in your interactions and
relationships with women.
Follow this guide and you will be able to spark and maintain the attraction &
interest of any woman.

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Know That You Are More Than Good Enough


One of the biggest mistakes men make is in thinking that theyre:
a) Not good-looking enough.
b) Not rich enough.
c) Not tall enough.
This expands out to thinking that if youre of a certain race, then you stand no
chance with women of another race.
For example: As you may know by now, Ive been coaching men on how to
meet and attract women in bars, clubs, bookstores (etc) every weekend since
2005.
My Caucasian clients usually dont have any doubts about being able to attract
women from other races, but all of my Asian and Indian clients and some of
my Hispanic clients, previously believed that Caucasian women just wouldnt
want to date them.
Its crazy and after they start interacting with Caucasian women, using what
you are learning now, they completely change their thinking on the subject.
Do me a favor and take a look around the next time you are in a public place.
You will notice that women are dating all sorts of men all shapes, sizes and
races.
Race aside, you might be thinking, What about me Dan? I dont think women
find me that attractive because[insert your perceived flaw here]
I dont care if youre a big fat, ugly, bald, chubby-ass nerd I have (and I
know you have) seen guys in worse predicaments than you who are dating
hot women.
How do they do it?
Im about to explain.
But please, leave any of your BS excuses (i.e. Women dont like me
because) at the door. My excuses paralyzed me for 25 years of my life and
I dont you to suffer another day.

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Once I got rid of my BS excuses and focused on building effective mindsets, I


literally went on to start dating catwalk models (3 of them in 2005), TV
personalities (1 in 2006 and another in 2007) and a ton of models.
In between those high-class women, I also dated a mega-ton of interesting,
intelligent and beautiful women.
Hot women were in my bedroom during the week, after running my courses
on Fri/Sat nights and any other time I had spare.
But get this
My biggest insecurity used to be that I didnt think beautiful women would find
me attractive.
Boo-hoo! What an idiot!
I was totally ignoring the reality that billions (yes, billions) of averagelooking dudes were dating and sexing hot, hot women.
Derrrrr!!

Realize That Women Are Not Looking For Magical Opening


Lines
Its true that most men dont have a clue when it comes to approaching
women and starting conversations.
Women have heard all the usual pick up linesbut guess what?
It doesnt matter.
Nothing matters when you are behaving attractively.
These days, I literally walk up to women and say things like:
-

Hey, whats happenin?


Howdy, Im Dan who the hell are you?
Hi, I thought Id come over and be socialIm Dan, whats your name?

One of the main reasons that conversation starters like those work for me is
that I am able to Assume Rapport and Attraction (refer to my other eBook for

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infoThe Flow: The Revolutionary 4-Step Process For Approaching Women &
Getting Dates).
When you assume rapport, is it attractive.
Why?
Because it shows confidence, social coolness and that you have traits of an
alpha male who goes after what he wants.
Bookstore example:
Hey.I love books.this place makes me realize how much I love
bookshow about you you like learning stuff, or do you read romance
novels all the time?
Heres the thing though
As long as you are behaving attractively, you can even say random, funny or
silly things that would be disastrous if said by a guy who wasnt behaving
attractively.
I demonstrated this recently when coaching a client. I approached 3 different
groups of women over the course of the weekend with these conversation
starters:
-

Group 1: Hi guys, Im interested in meeting a girl tonight, but m not


having any luck do you guys like me?
This got an awesome response, because it was extremely funny coming
from a guy who was obviously confident.

Group 2: Hi guys, I dont know what to say but I just wanted to come
over here so I could stand near you. Can you make me feel welcome by
buying me a drink, or am I being too forward?

Group 3: Girls hate meIm convinced. Guys take a look at me: Do I


look like a guy you would hate or who you could grow to love? Because
Im really starting to think that girls hate me.

Feel free to use those they all worked.

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Behave Attractively and Women Will Pay You More


Attention
Its true that what you say reveals a ton about your personality, but you may
have heard that how you say it is more important.
But what the hell does that mean?
To say something in an attractive way, you should also be displaying or using
some (if not all, depending on the situation) of the following:
-

Confidence.
Masculinity.
Note: I am referring to masculine behavior and psychology here (e.g.
not complaining or whining about how you think life is so tough,)

Flirting body language.


Humor.
Playful (not girly!) attitude.

Only when you have a handle including those things, will your conversation be
of any real value to a woman in terms of attraction.
For example:
Imagine a nervous nice guy who tends to use safe humor and avoid flirting
with women (low-status behavior).
Now imagine a confident, masculine guy who uses risqu humor (e.g. David
Letterman style humor) and who enjoys flirting with women.
Next, imagine that the two guys are standing next to each other in an
interaction with a group of three women.
Whose conversation will the women be more inclined to listen to and pay
attention to?
Thats right.
The nice guys politically correct approach to life is probably going to mean
boredom for all involved.

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and people dont want you to bore them - especially in social environments
where people want to be seen to be having a good time.
Your conversation and what you speak about is a direct indicator of your
social status, values, confidence, popularity, approach to life and a ton of
other things.
Get good at making conversation by following all the advice Ive given you in
The Flow.

Learn to Reveal Your Intentions in the Right Way


If you want to get sex, then dont be a sneak about it.
Its true that most women are put off by direct, sleazy conversation. However,
its also true that pretty much all women crave to be engaged in flirtatious
conversations, when the time is right.
So, heres a little bit of must-know information for you.
As you know from The Flow, women arent as open about wanting sex as
men, because of the effect it has on other peoples perception of them.
If a woman is too forward or open about how much she likes sex, people will
often see her as a slut, as too easy or as someone who would be unfaithful in
a relationship.
So, I recommend that you take a moment acknowledge that it is your role to
lead a woman through the stages of a sexual courtship.
If you fight against that fact of nature, then sex will always be a rare thing in
your life.
Some of the ways I reveal my intentions to women:
a) Flirtatious body language: Sexual smiles, squinting of the eyes, etc. See
George Clooney for a visual example.
b) Words: You know whatI like you, youre pretty sexy.
Note: This will only work if you have sparked enough attraction.

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If a nervous, nice guy says something like that most women will be
flattered, slightly more interested, but still put off by the lack of confidence
and challenge her offers.
c) Looking their body up and down: Sometimes, during an interaction, I
will step back half a step and slowly look the woman up and down for
about 3 seconds, while she is talking.
You will most likely get a response like, Were you just checking me
out??
Yesyoure pretty and I like your sense of styleyou look good.
Which will usually be followed up by her being astonished that you had
the balls to say and do something like that.
Note: This is an advanced move that has increased the amount of
women in my life ten fold.
Please do you and me a favor: Keep this move to yourself!

Understand That You Dont Have to do Everything Right to


Succeed
Let me just get this straight for you:
You dont have to be Mr. Perfect in all areas that women are attracted to, in
order to succeed with women & dating.
Heres the deal
As you read through all the materials you received from me, you may begin to
think, Whoado I have to do all this stuff just to get a woman?
No, but everything youre learning will make it a ton easier to succeed.
By applying what youre learning here, you will:
a) Become more attractive to a wider range of women, so you can choose
who you date rather than relying on luck.
b) Ensure that your relationships (dating and long-term) will be more
satisfying and fulfilling for both parties.

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c) Be the man that all women really want, so you have less chance of
being dumped by a woman because youve messed things up.
d) Feel confident in your interactions with women, because you now know
things about attraction that most guys are unaware of.
e) Handle all the tests that women throw at you, because you understand
that women need to continually test to see if you are still the masculine
one if the interaction or relationship.
f) Not really worry about any little attraction mistakes you make, because
you know how to use your mindsets properly. Example: It doesnt
matter if I stuff a few things up, this girl still likes me because

Understand That Compatibility is a Factor


A lot of guys get frustrated when learning this sort of stuff, because it often
requires a bit of time and effort before you start receiving the big rewards
(i.e. sex and relationships).
I can empathize because me and a heap of my friends spent about 400 hours
on phone calls over the course of a year, trying to work out what the hell was
going on when we werent getting any action!
For example:
I got to a point where I was:
-

Able to approach women with confidence.


Good at flirting.
Able to make great conversation.
Using fairly confident body language.
Wearing stylish, trendy clothes, aftershave and a great haircut.
Doing well in my management career.

but my friends and I were still finding it hard to maintain the interest of all
women.
This continued on until I realized that compatibility plays a huge part in the
success of interactions and relationships.
For example:
You might start interacting with a beautiful woman and feel a physical
attraction for her, but find that she doesnt meet your criteria in terms of
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intelligence and personal values so your emotional attraction wont be that


strong for her.
Vice versa You might start interacting with a woman that you think is ideal
for you. You might be displaying confidence, making good conversation and
using great body language - but she might find that you dont meet her
criteria in terms of masculinity, social coolness or personal values.
So, when it comes to working out how to maintain a womans interest, here is
some must-know advice that will save you from years of frustration and
banging your head against a wall.

Realize That Attraction & Interest Are Two Different Things


You can attract pretty much any woman on this planet by using what you are
learning from me.
However, no matter what you do - your personality, approach to life and the
things that you want to talk about wont be of interest to all women.
So dont get upset if a woman isnt interested in you.
If you notice that a woman isnt into your style of life or doesnt share key
values that you feel strongly about, then talk to another woman!
Warning: My favorite topics to talk about are nanotechnology, biotechnology,
artificial intelligence, transhumanism immortality and metaphysics.
After meeting thousands of women in bars, only one or two of them have
wanted to talk about those things.
So, should you ignore all the women who dont want to talk about topics that
you enjoy?
No!
Why?
1. Different conversational styles are required for certain environments
(see next section).
2. Women are very different to men.

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While we men usually like to talk about logical things and work out solutions
to problems, women usually prefer to have conversations that inspire
emotions.
Im not saying that women arent interested in guy things, its just that they
usually prefer to talk about girl things, or about things that inspire strong
emotion.
For more info, check out the section on Masculinity in The Flow, where I talk
about encouraging a womans femininity.
So dont try to force or even encourage a woman into having a conversation
about logical things until youre dating her (first date is fine, see next section
for explanation), or have at least had sex with her.
Its okay to talk about logical, information-based topics with women, but
heres a tried and tested rule to run by.

Remember to Vary Your Energy & Conversational Style


If we were to break conversational styles into two types, one being Fun, Flirty
& Emotional and the other being Logical, Formal & Normal, then this is how
you should use them:
1. House parties, functions, on a date with a woman.
50% Fun Flirty & Emotional
50% Logical, Formal & Normal
2. Bars, clubs and other high-stimulus environments.
80% Fun Flirty & Emotional
20% Logical, Formal & Normal
3. Bookstores, supermarkets and other low-key environments.
20% Fun Flirty & Emotional
80% Logical, Formal & Normal
You know how long that took me to work out?
Three whole years and thousands of interactions! Now, youve just learnt it in
1 minute.

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Funny stuff!
If only you could have seen how many times I tried to talk Logical, Formal &
Normal to girls in bars and have them say, Umm, I have to go to the
bathroom (and never return) youd be having a right old laugh at me now.
Id be sitting there waiting for the woman to return . Waiting . Waiting
..Doh!

Learn to Express Some Emotion


A lot of the guys Ive coached are amazed at how interesting they become as
soon as they learn to express some genuine emotion.
For example:
I was recently eating dinner on a Saturday night with a client, chatting about
the progress he made the night before and getting him revved up to hit the
town with confidence.
I asked him, Okay, imagine that there are two girls sitting here with us right
nowwhat could you make conversation about?
After a few minutes of frowning and scratching his head, he suggested that he
could talk about:
a) The food.
b) The restaurant we were in.
Awesome! I said.
I followed up by asking him, Okaytalk about those things as if the girls
were sitting here with us now.
After another two minutes of frowning and head-scratching, he replied,
Hmm.the food is nice.and.ah, this is a nice restaurant?
I pretended to fall asleep on the table.
Dudethat is so boring!
Okay, enough of the reenactments
Heres what he should have done instead:
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1. Used his emotional perspective to talk about the food and the
restaurant
I tell you whatthis food is awesomeI love Japanese food......especially
how its so close to being natural yknowhardly any additives and stuff
Notice how I am revealing my emotions and showing that its okay to share
your feelings about food around me.
Compare that to the approach that my client was previously using. His
conversational style had always meant that women would barely even
respond to him.
Why?
Because people can tell that youre lying (or too afraid to voice your real
opinion) when you say that everything is nice, nice, nice.
2. Gotten the women involved
After saying the statement about the food, he could have then added a
question on the end to get the women involved.
How about you guys what are some of your favorite foods?
Notice how Im directing the conversation toward positive feeling emotions
and Im including the words some of to indicate that I want more than one
answer.

Decide to Become a More Interesting Person


If all you do is work, hang out at your friends houses, watch movies and surf
the internet, then youll struggle to spark & maintain the interest of beautiful
women who are interested in lifestyle and adventure.
My recommendations for becoming a more interesting person:
1. Be real: Start using your real opinion in conversations and interactions,
rather than hiding behind emotionally-guarded crap.
No-one likes a liar, but everyone admires and respects a person who can
be tactful and respectful while stilling saying what he truly feels.

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I recommend the following books if you want more info:


-

The Way of the Superior Man, by David Deida


Emotional Intelligence, by Daniel Goleman
2. Take short-courses: Massage course, cooking-class, a few surfing
lessons.
A lot of short-courses like those are also an easy way to meet women.
A girl that I met at cooking-class (a 3-week course) was one of my favorite
girlfriends last year.
3. Try out adventurous activities: Bar tours around your city, relaxation
retreats, mediation camps, hiking, travel, laughter yoga.
Another great way to meet women.
They also give you plenty to talk about when people ask, So, what have
you been up to lately?
4. Develop more depth to your understanding of the world: Learn from
experts in all fields.
For example: I worked in leadership roles for about 7 years in the
corporate arena. I read a ton of books on the subject, but the best book I
ever read was The One-Minute-Manger by Kenneth Blanchard.
BTW: Its the simplest book youll ever read and its written in the format
of a story.
Once I implemented what he teaches, my staff started listening to me and
wanting to impress me.
Outside of work, I also made a ton of new friends who wanted to spend
more and more time with me.
The basic concept of the book: Have enough balls to praise and reprimand
people. By doing so, people will see you as more of an authority figure and
want to earn your respect and approval.
5. Watch documentaries: So much to learn from documentaries.
They are also a source of endless conversation topics.
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Just keep a notepad and pen next to you while watching a documentary
and make notes of interesting things that you see or learn.
For example:
Did you know that 10 percent of the Russian government's income comes
from the sale of vodka?
Or
Did you know that the Pope has been known to often wear red Prada
shoes?
Or

Did you know that The Mona Lisa used to hang on the wall of Napoleons
bedroom?
Or
Did you know that fingerprints of koala bears are similar (in pattern,
shape and size) to the fingerprints of humans? How freaky is that!

Or
Did you know that honey is the only food that doesnt spoil? Honey found
in the tombs of Egyptian pharaohs was tasted by archaeologists and found
to be edible.

Inject those sorts of things into your conversations with women and you will
be a ton more interesting than most other guys.
However, as I point out in The Flow dont be predictable by doing it all the
time!

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Okay, that brings us to the end of this power-packed eBooklet.


Good luck & I wish you the very best of success in the days, months and
years to come!

Dan
P.s. When youve successfully integrated these things into your interactions with
women and have started to receive the tremendous benefits, Id love to share your
success story with our mailbag subscribers (using an alias if you wish).
Feel free to shoot me an e-mail at dan@themodernman.com with your story. Please
keep it to 150 words if possible!

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