Shifts

Eliminate distracting shifts

These distract or confuse readers

Point of view
Verb tense
Mood or voice
Indirect to direct questions (statement to
question)

Make the POV consistent in person

& number

First person emphasizes writer

Good for informal letters and writing based on
personal experience
Second person emphasizes reader
Good for giving advice or explaining how to do
something
Third person emphasizes subject
Best for formal academic and professional writing

Make the POV consistent in person

& number
One week, our class met in a junkyard to practice rescuing
a victim trapped in a wrecked car. We learned to
dismantle the car with the essential tools. You were
graded on your speed and your skill in extricating the
victim.
One week, our class met in a junkyard to practice rescuing
a victim trapped in a wrecked car. We learned to
dismantle the car with the essential tools. You were
graded on your speed and your skill in extricating the
victim.

Make the POV consistent in person

& number
One week, our class met in a junkyard to practice rescuing
a victim trapped in a wrecked car. We learned to
dismantle the car with the essential tools. You were
graded on your speed and your skill in extricating the
victim.

One week, the class met in a junkyard to practice rescuing

a victim trapped in a wrecked car. They learned to
dismantle the car with the essential tools. They were
graded on their speed and their skill in extricating the
victim.

Maintain consistent verb tenses

Consistent verb tenses clearly establish time of the actions
being described
Which sentence is incorrect?
A. She caught the ball and then throws it to the catcher for the
out.
B. She caught the ball and then threw it to the catcher for the
out
C. She catches the ball and then throws it to the catcher for the
out.
A. She caught the ball and then throws it to the catcher for the
out.

Maintain consistent verb tenses

When writing about literature or current research, use
present tense

Which sentence is correct?

A. Research showed that the Great Pyramids were built
before wooly mammoths became extinct.
B. Research shows that the Great Pyramids were built
before wooly mammoths became extinct.

B.

Maintain consistent mood & voice

Three moods in English

Indicative is used for facts, opinions, questions

Imperative is used for orders or advice

Subjunctive is used to express wishes or conditions contrary to fact

Which sentence is correct?

A. The officers advised us against allowing anyone into our homes without proper
identification. They also suggested that we alert neighbors to our vacation
schedules.
B. The officers advised us against allowing anyone into our homes without proper
identification. Also, alert neighbors to our vacation schedules.
A.

Maintain consistent mood and voice

Which sentence is correct?
A. Mother said that she would be late for dinner and asked
me not to leave for choir practice until Dad came home.

B. Mother said that she would be late for dinner and please
do not leave for choir practice until Dad comes home.
A. Mother said that she would be late for dinner and (she)
asked me not to leave for choir practice until Dad came
home.

Maintain consistent mood and voice

B. Mother said that she would be late for dinner and
please do not leave for choir practice until Dad
comes home.
Mother said that she would be late for dinner uses
the indicative mood/voice.
Please do not leave for choir practice until Dad
gets home uses the subjunctive mood/voice.

Avoid sudden shifts from indirect or direct questions or

statements

Indirect question: Alex asked whether the potatoes

were ready and whether he could cut them for the
salad.
Direct question: Are the potatoes ready and can I cut
them for the salad?

Avoid sudden shifts from indirect or direct questions or

statements
Which of the following is incorrect?
A. My instructor asked whether I was prepared for the
course and have I bought myself a laptop.

B. My instructor asked whether I was prepared for the

course and whether I had bought myself a laptop
C. My instructor asked, Are you prepared for the course,
and have you bought yourself a laptop?

A. My instructor asked whether I was prepared for the

course and have I bought myself a laptop.

Newsletter Revising
Underline

Circle

subjects to look for POV shifts

all verbs to ensure that none of the verbs shift.

Ensure

that there arent any shifts from a statement

to a question or vice versa

Newsletter Revising

2. Turn down the heat when are you more likely to

wake up at night when you are hot or cold? The
body prefers to be in a colder milder climate to
sleep. Experts recommend bedroom temperatures
to be 65 70 degrees.

3. Exercise every day This will greatly improve your

ability to sleep at night. However be careful not to
exercise too close to bed time as it can have a
negative effect on sleep.

Newsletter Revision Practice

2. People should turn down the heat. People are more likely to wake up at night when they are hot.
The body prefers (to be in) a colder milder climate to sleep. Experts recommend bedroom
temperatures to be 65 70 degrees.
3. People should exercise every day. This will greatly improve an individuals ability to sleep (at
night). However one must be careful not to exercise too closely to bed time as it can have a
negative effect on sleep.

Annotated Bibliography

What is a bibliography?

General term for a list of sources used during topic research

Name changes depending upon style format

(MLA = Works Cited, APA = References)

What is an annotation?

Summary and/or evaluation

What is an annotated bibliography?

Cites source following a specified formatting style (we are using MLA)

Provides a summary and/or evaluation of each source

Annotated bibliographies can include

Summary

Assessment

Reflection

Your annotated bibliography

Upcoming
Wednesday
Monday

Conferences

to get attendance credit for

Wednesday, you must bring your rough
draft. Also bring colored pencils, crayons,
or pens to class.