Indian Institute of Technology Kanpur

Department of Humanities and Social Sciences

COM200 (Communication Skills: Composition)
2015-16-II

Tutorial V: Understanding Clarity: Characters in Subjects (Solution)

February 4, 2016
Time: 25 Minutes

Exercise I
Before you revise the following sentences, diagnose them. Look at the first six or seven
words, ignoring short introductory phrases such as in recent years. Then revise so that each
has a specific character as subject of a specific verb. To revise, you may have to invent
characters. Use We, I, or any other word that seems appropriate.
1. In recent years, the appearance of new interpretations about the meaning of the discovery of
America has led to a reassessment of Columbus's place in Western history.
(Answer: In recent years, historians have reassessed the place of Columbus in Western history
because they have interpreted the discovery of America in new ways.)
2. Decision about forcibly administering medication in an emergency room despite the inability
of an irrational patient to provide legal consent is usually an on-scene medical decision.
3. Tracing transitions in a well-written article helps in improving coherence in writing.
4. Resistance has been growing against building mental health facilities in residential areas
because of a belief that the few examples of improper management are typical.
5. With the decline in network television viewing in favor of cable and rental DVDs, awareness
is growing at the networks of a need to revise programming.
Solution
1. In recent years, historians have reassessed the place of Columbus in Western history because
they have interpreted the discovery of America in new ways.

2. Doctors have to decide on-scene about forcibly administering medication in an emergency

room when an irrational patient is unable to provide legal consent.
3. If we trace transitions in a well-written article, we can improve coherence in writing.
4. People have been resisting building mental health facilities in residential areas because they
believe that the few examples of improper management are typical.
5. Networks are becoming aware that they need to revise their programming because viewers are
watching rental DVDs and cable more than the network television.
Exercise II
Change the italicized passive verbs in the following sentences into active (Step 1). Then go
through each sentence again and revise nominalizations into verbs where appropriate (Step
2).
1. It is believed that a lack of understanding about the risks of alcohol is a cause of student
bingeing.
2. The model has been subjected to extensive statistical analysis.
3. Success in exporting more crude oil for hard currency is suggested here as the cause of the
improvement of the Russian economy.
4. The creation of a database is being considered, but no estimate has been made of its
usefulness.
Solution
1.
Step 1: We believe that the lack of understanding about the risks of alcohol is a cause of student
bingeing.
Step 2: We believe that students binge because they do not understand the risks of alcohol.
2.
Step 1: We have subjected the model to extensive statistical analysis.
Step 2: We have analyzed the model extensively using statistical data.
3.
Step 1: We suggest that success in exporting more crude oil for hard currency is the cause of
improvement of the Russian economy.
Step 2: We suggest that Russia's economy has improved because it has exported more crude oil
for hard currency.

4.
Step 1: We are considering the creation of a database, but we have made no estimate of its
usefulness.
Step 2: We are considering the creation of a database, but we have not estimated its usefulness.
Exercise III
In the following sentences, change the italicized passive verbs into active, wherever
appropriate. Do the sentences improve in clarity? How and why?
1. Science education will not be improved in this nation to a level sufficient to ensure that our
industry will be supplied with skilled workers and researchers until more money is provided to
primary and secondary schools.
2. In this article, it is argued that the Vietnam War was fought by the United States to extend
influence in Southeast Asia and was not ended until it was made clear by North Vietnam that it
could not be defeated unless atomic weapons were used.
Solution
1. Until we provide more money to primary and secondary schools, we will not be able to
improve Science education in this nation to a level sufficient to ensure that we supply our
industry with skilled workers and researchers.
[All the three verbs in sentence (1) above should be changed into active; the revised
sentence is clearer because the invented character, we, is the subject.]
2. This article argues/In this article, we argue that the United States fought the Vietnam War to
extend its influence in Southeast Asia and did not end it until North Vietnam made it clear that it
could not be defeated unless the United States used atomic weapons.
[Of the six passive verbs in sentence (2), all except be defeated should be changed to active.
The revised sentence improves in clarity because (a) the metadiscourse verb argue is now in
the active voice and (b) for rest of the four verbs, active voice is preferred because in
active, characters are subjects.
For the verb be defeated, passive voice should be retained. Note that if we change the voice
for the verb be defeated, the resulting sentence will be unclear because of a vague pronoun
reference for the italicized it:
This article argues/In this article, we argue that the United States fought the Vietnam War to
extend its influence in Southeast Asia and did not end it until North Vietnam made it clear that
the United States could not defeat it unless it used atomic weapons.]