NOTES:

OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONING: To encourage Client to elaborate on responses/enable the counsellor

to gain important info (E.g. What would you like to talk about?)
REFLECTING: To provide feedback to the client regarding emotion , thoughts and events that the
client is expressing. It isa positive response to the client, and must also demonstrate the core
conditions of acceptance, value and respect. Reflecting does not involve you asking questions,
introducing a new topic or leading the conversation in another direction. Speakers are helped
through reflecting as it not only allows them to feel understood, but it also gives them the opportunity
to focus their ideas. This in turn helps them to direct their thoughts and further encourages them to
continue speaking.
Let the client know you are with them and understand what they feel or think. ("You must feel . . .?" or
"I bet that was frustrating."). Reflecting can be on verbal content to check and communicate the
counsellor's understanding.; feelings or emotions nonverbally expressed to help them recognize,
accept and understand repressed material; and the interaction that occurs between the client and
counsellor when he/she is reluctant to open up with the counsellor - this can be expressed to the
client and a blockage removed.
REFLECTION OF FEELINGS: The counsellor senses the clients feelings. He/She not only
understands how the client is feeling but also empathizes with the client.
RESTATING - repeating the EXACT words that have been said to serve as a sounding board for the
client.
MIRRORING - repeating almost exactly what the speaker says. Repeat key words or the last few
words spoken to show you are trying to understand the speakers terms of reference and acts as a
prompt for him or her to continue.
PARAPHRASING stating the information in our own words .It is a good way of relaying the fact that
what has been said is important, and that the message has been understood.
It is used after the client has talked at some length about an issue. It is tentatively worded so that the
client can correct the counsellor if necessary.
SUMMARISING restating some of the major concerns the client has mentioned. It is useful to focus
on the content of the comments and the feeling and meaning of this disclosure. It enables the
counsellor to verbally review the information that has been presented /discussed and highlighted as
significant. The client gets to HEAR was said to the counsellor.
MINIMAL PROMPT: To show clients they are being heard and the counsellor wants them to continue
in information sharing, e.g. nodding the head, hmm, yes, ah-ha, oh.
CLARIFYING is to to help the counselor to ask the client to define or explain words, thoughts or
feelings.
PROBING enables a counsellor to obtain specific information that is critical to understanding the
client .
LEADING: The counsellor gently directs the conversation in directions that will give useful
information. Use brief questions, "What happened next?" or
"Tell me what you mean by . . .?" Leading can help clients proceed when they run into a block.
This strategy enables the counsellor to explore areas at greater depth.
CONFRONTATION: Clients present stories to us that often have contradictions between stated
thought and feeling, between feeling and behaviour, etc. In order to help clients address mental and
emotional distress, it is essential that these inconsistencies be brought to their attention and
addressed. Otherwise, they keep the client stuck in their problem.

PERCEPTION CHECK: Helps the counsellor determine what the client wants to work on. It follows
the summary statement. (Summary) I wonder if you would like to focus on one of these areas,
or is there something else that you havent mentioned that you would like to talk about?
NORMALIZING helps clients understand that what they are going through is a normal reaction to life.
It can alleviate unnecessary stress and anxiety so that the clients can focus their energy on
recovering.
___________________________________________________________________

Source: http://www.thecounsellorsguide.co.uk/attending-skills.html

Attending Skills
By: Anna Martin - Updated: 15 Dec 2015

In order to build a firm foundation in any supportive or caring clientcounsellor/therapist relationship strong, clearly defined attending skills must be in
evidence. These are skills that require being in attendance in the present, in any
situation, and means that a counsellor is giving their full attention, and listening, to
the client at all times.

The Meaning of Attending

Attending means being in the company of someone else and giving that person your
full attention, to what they are saying or doing. In a one-to-one counselling
relationship this is the supportive service that a counsellor must provide. Failure to
do this will mean the client is not being supported fully, and may not feel able to
disclose or make progress.
Attending also means a counsellor must pay attention to everything a client says and
does. This includes reading the clients body language and also taking into
consideration all the silences and pauses in the conversation. Actively listening not
only conveys information, but also encourages the client to continue talking.

How to Attend
To begin and maintain attendance a counsellor must first welcome the client warmly.
Making him/her feel comfortable, in the counselling environment, will make the client
feel more relaxed about disclosing personal information about their emotions,
feelings and thoughts. By maintaining eye contact with the client, a counsellor shows
they value what the client has to say. Looking at the client, as they speak, also
shows the counsellor is respectful.
A counsellor should also be aware of the tone of their voice, during time in the
clients presence. Slowing down speech will make the client feel more relaxed and
less rushed. It will convey that the counsellor has adequate time to listen to the

clients problems and concerns. The counsellors facial expressions must also
convey interest and comprehension.
Tracking, or following the flow of what the client is saying, is a key skill that the
counsellor must also be confident demonstrating. Without the ability to do this a
counsellor will not be able to provide the level of supportive service a counselling
client requires.

Selective Attending
By selective attending a counsellor is choosing to pay particular close attention to an
element of what is being said by the client. The counsellor may decide to focus on
the way the client is speaking whether they are displaying distress, discomfort,
anger etc or on a particular phrase or sentence.
A counsellor may be listening out for clues to why the client exhibits a particular
behaviour pattern or holds limiting beliefs, or any number of other things. It is the
counsellors job to gather as much information about a client as possible, and to
interpret the disclosure so that they can support and encourage the individual
through the counselling process.

Focus Control
Controlling your focus can sometimes be difficult. We are all open to outside
distractions and can momentarily lose our concentration and focus. Attending
requires that a counsellors physical and psychological attention is directed at the
client for the whole duration of the one-to-one counselling session.