U4 Essay 2

Alexis Muir
July 2, 2016
Question: Young Marrieds
Answer:
What are the important tasks that young couples need to undertake in order to have
a long-term successful marriage?
1- Wife- Communication, I think it is very hard to get use to living with someone and
trying to figure out how to coexist with one another. So if you can learn to communicate
to each other early on I think youll find it easier to be able to learn to understand each
other.
1- Husband- Maintaining a healthy sex life.
Is it okay for a woman to be more successful than her husband?
2- Wife- Yes that should not matter.
2- Husband- Yes it is ok.
What impact could her success have on their marriage?
3- Wife- Not feeling as worthy as her.
3- Husband- I dont think there would be a negative impact. I think the possibility of
being able to spend more time with future children and not having to spend as much time
at work.
What should be the marriage partners relationship with his or her own parents?
4- Wife- I think having a good relationship with your parents is great. I think it makes my
hubby more of a family man.
4- Husband- Michelle has a strong relationship with her mother and I am glad and
wouldnt change that. I think you should have a good relationship with your parents.
What should be the persons relationship with his or her in-laws?
5- Wife- I like knowing that Skyler can talk to my parents with ease and I dont have to
be there for them to have a conversation. It makes me feel more comfortable so I think
you should try and have a strong relationship with your in-laws.
5- Husband- Even better then the relationship I have with them, I want my wife to have a
strong relationship with my parents.
What were their hardest adjustments to marriage?
6- Wife- Sharing and learning to compromise.
6- Husband- Sharing and having your own space.

What are the important tasks that young couples need to undertake in order to have
a long-term successful marriage?
Always be supportive of your partners choices, (of course within reason) as well as make
sure your partner knows they are loved and appreciated. Take the time to be with each
other no matter how busy you are. As well as a lot of young couples these days don't
know how to put their phones away and focus on each other so that in my opinion can
cause more issues in a marriage than anything else.
Is it okay for a woman to be more successful than her husband?
Of course, more and more women are pushing their careers and becoming more and more
successful and they should, and their husbands should be 100% supportive.
What impact could her success have on their marriage?
Some husbands don't like when it's pointed out that the wife is more successful because
majority of the time the husband wants to be the provider and be the one who is
successful. So it could put a strain on the marriage and cause a lot of tension as well as
fights because the husband doesn't feel like he is good enough and that he can't provide
for her. Husbands like to feel needed and I would think in a way the wife depends on
them and appreciates and doesn't feel inferior to the wife.
What should be the marriage partners relationship with his or her own parents?
That all depends on how that partner was brought up. Of course them being close with
their parents is good but sometimes being to close can be to much and overwhelming on
the other partner and then not being close with their parents could leave a hole and some
hidden emotions for whatever reason.
What should be the persons relationship with his or her in-laws?
This would depend on how the in-laws treat the person you are with. But anytime you are
with your in-laws even if they are mean in-laws you do your best to keep peace because
not having a good relationship with the in-laws can be something that puts a strain on the
marriage that could also lead to separation. If you truly love your partner you will try
your best to make any situation work.
What were their hardest adjustments to marriage?
Getting use to how one lives in their own space and trying to be on the same page with
life decisions. And being that we had a baby shortly after being married, a hard
adjustment was getting my husband to see eye to eye with me and what I was going
though as well as getting ready for when our son arrived.

After interviewing the two couples I felt as though most of our

views on this topic are similar. I myself believe that it is important to
build a strong relationship on communication. To me communication is
the key to a successful marriage. My beliefs of a woman being more
successful than their husband, yes! I grew up in a single parent home,
where my mom provided for three children I dont believe in being
dependent on any other person. I wouldnt expect my husband to
work to his grave in order to support us. I see it as a combined effort. I
wouldnt be with another person if they seen my success as a threat. I
would never see their success as a threat either. Marriage is about
support in one another. My husband is happy that I want to better
myself with school to eventually get a better job. The impact of your
wives success on the marriage should be positive. It isnt a negative
thing if your significant other is more or less successful. Being close
with your own parents is perfect, the only down fall is if they are
connected at the hip. Which I would hope you would figure this out
before getting married and being able to handle their relationship. A
close relationship with your parents is healthy, they are older and
wiser, being able to offer advice if needed. I know I go to my mom
about things, just to talk or vent. I also do so with my husband. A
healthy relationship with your parents is never a bad thing, in my
opinion. I feel as though it would depend on the situation, thankfully
my husband gets along with my family and I with his. I feel like if you
are closer with your family it would be important to be more involved.
The effort of trying is what is important. You cant force someone to like
you, being cordial with your in-laws is important. The hardest
adjustments to marriage that I have encountered would have to be
living space and our ideas of how it should be. One thing that I found
interesting and useful with these chapters was, a study done by Robert
and Jeanette Lauer, 1. Having a spouse who is a best friend and whom
you like as a person, 2. Believing in marriage as a long-term
commitment and sacred institution. 3. Consensus on such
fundamentals as aims and goals and philosophy of life. 4. Shared
humor. (Strong & Cohen, 2014, p. 305)

Reference
Strong, B, & Cohen, T. F. (2014). The marriage and family experience: Intimate
relationships in a changing society (12th ed.). Belmont, CA: Wadsworth.