Harris1

Oleta Harris
ENG 112
Pro. Julia
July 12, 2016

Annotated Biography

In How to Help Kids Handle Death and Grieving. Washington, D.C.: NPR, 2012.
ProQuest. Web. 13 June 2016. Talks about Kids who've lost a parent just don't feel normal. This
was a feeling that I had in the beginning of my loss. Why the Stages of Grieving are an Excuse
for Inept Change Management." The Journal for Quality and Participation 33.1 (2010): 38.
ProQuest. Web. 13 June 2016. Talks about denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance
all in which I was going through and ways to help overcome these feeling. Beauregard, SueEllen. "Grown-Up Tears: Adults Grieving the Loss of a Parent." The Booklist 94.7 (1997): 645.
ProQuest. Web. 13 June 2016. Group of adults reminisce about the death of one or more parents.
Coping strategies (journal writing, support from religious community, etc.), and other personal
issues.
I took the advice I was reading and started talking about it more, talking to my church
family and it really did help me. It taught me all the emotions I was feeling was norming in my
grieving process. People gave comfort and inspiring words. It informed me that is was normal to
feel weak and have moment where I start crying out of nowhere or days I had to force myself to
get up out of bed. As a mother I couldnt keep allowing this to control my day to day activities.
As the older sister I have to be strong for my sisters. As much as I wanted to break down I knew
I had to be strong for them.
Grieving takes time to adjust to a new chapter of your life. During this time you may feel numb
or distracted. Some may feel irritable and restless, quieter than usual or distant yourself from
others. It is important to find a way to express your grief. Grieving is unpredictable, with sad
thoughts and feelings coming and going. Learning to accept that your loss is real. Try to make it
ok to feel the pain and emotion that you will go through. The pain of grieving can be both
emotional and physical and unfortunately there is no way to avoid it.
In our bereavement, we spend different lengths of time working through each step and
express each stage with different levels of intensity. The five stages do not necessarily occur in
any specific order. We often move between stages before achieving a more peaceful acceptance
of death. Many of us are not afforded the luxury of time required to achieve this final stage of
grief.
I am glade that my teacher suggested that I do resource on the topic, Grieving because it
really help me out. It also made me evaluate what I had going on for my children and wanting to

Harris2

make sure if I was to pass that they would not have to deal with debt and sorrow at the same
time, because I thought grieving was hard then on top of me trying to cope with my feeling her
unfinished business was overwhelming. It made me want to prepare better. The death of your
loved one might inspire you to evaluate your own feelings of mortality.
Reminisces, or writing some things down and getting support is a process that helps. I found this
to be helpful. Remembering the good memories and looking at pictures. Grieving have no time
limit or how youre going to feel each day. Its been a little over a month and I can say that I feel
better than the first two weeks. When my mother passed I was wanting to drop out of school and
give up. I laid in bed for a week not doing anything. My children were watching as I wasted my
life grieving over something I had no control over. My daughter would come in and tell me that
she hated seeing me so sad and how needed to eat. I realizing that I need to live not just for me
but live for them.
Understanding grieving makes it easier to deal with your mix emotion. Before I did my
resources I was sobbing in my own emotions. My children watching as I laid in bed crying
periodically. After getting understanding that these emotional are normal and it may never go
away you just learn to deal with them better, I felt better! I have my days, hours and moments
thinking of my mother death, but I now understand that Im not the only one that went through or
is going through grief. I accepted this is life and everyone is set with a death date at birth and just
try to be prepared the best for your family because your loss will be hard!