8 Important Reasons To Let Go Of People Who No

Longer Play An Important Part In Your Life

MOTIVATION ALYSSA HO JUL 28, 2014 - 9:58AM

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There comes a point in every persons life when he or she parts ways with someone: ex, friend and anyone in
between.
Upon first meeting this person, theres a sweet beginning, but once you come to really know each other and
grow comfortable, you suddenly realize that the relationship no longer brings any particular value to your life
and is perhaps, even detrimental.
Sometimes, we hold on to people purely based on how long we have known them. Time can tie people
together, but if you feel as though theres nothing substantial keeping you connected, time is not a strong
enough reason to hold on to something thats simply no longer worth holding onto.

We grow complacent with people once were comfortable with them. But, hanging onto someone for the pure
sake of it and because you dont know anything else isnt a good enough reason.
Fear is another reason why we cant move on. Theres the fear of being alone and not being able to find
someone else; fear of someone using our deepest and darkest secrets as blackmail; fear of the hate and
tension that will ensue; fear of regret once someone is gone.
Sometimes, things are better left as mere memories. You can try to change things back to how they were or try
to create things to be the way you want them, but youll never be truly happy because itll never be anything like
how things once were.
If anything, theres now too much pressure and expectation in the air to recreate what you both once had.
Instead, hold on to and cherish the memories, but move forward. Be thankful for what a friendship or
relationship brought you and taught you.
Beyond that, friendships and relationships whilst they do have their downfalls and can require fixing
should essentially come naturally.
If a person isnt bringing something significant to your life, not treating you how youd like or isnt the type of
person you want him or her to be, its a clear sign that you need distance.
While it would be selfish of you to not accept a person for whom he or she is, it would be unfair for you to have
to endure a friendship or relationship that isnt cultivating a better you.
Now that we have come to ascertain why you may be holding on, lets make it clear why you need to let go:

1. Let go because things are not the same anymore.

People simply grow a part, which is perfectly normal. You realize you want different things, no longer share the
same interests, no longer understand and no longer connect.
Sometimes, its a matter of accepting that it takes time to let go, rather than holding on to something that just
cant be brought back, was lost a long time ago or perhaps, was never really there at all.
Its difficult to hold on to people in life, but remember that youre destined to meet different people along your
journey who will bring you happiness, sorrow, pain and joy.

2. Let go because the trust and loyalty isnt there.

If you know in your heart that you cant trust this person and he or she cannot be loyal, then you need to ask
yourself why this person is in your life. Trust and loyalty are the foundation of any friendship and relationship.

If theyre not present, it may only lead to paranoia, frustration, tension and anger that youre better off without
feeling.
Find someone with whom you can share your deepest darkest secrets and you know that after walking away,
his or her lips will remain tightly sealed. Find someone whose faithfulness to you will be unquestionable
because his or her actions, rather than empty promises, bring you a peace of mind.

3. Let go because you are unclear of where things stand.

Engaging in an undefined friendship or relationship is confusing because you dont know what you mean to the
person, if anything at all. If the person cant make you feel as though youre significant, reflect on why youre
allowing someone to treat this way.
Be in the company of someone who is proud to have you in his or her life and will make that known to you and
the rest of the world. Be in the company of someone who wont gamble with your heart and mind simply
because he or she knows youre not going anywhere.

4. Let go if the friendship or relationship is damaging to you.

If the friendship/relationship is making you unhappy or miserable, its time to bid the person farewell. We must
not allow ourselves to feel trapped and used to being treated far less well than we deserve.
If someone is putting you down, competing with you, not paying attention to you, not caring about you, abusing
you, embarrassing you in front of others, making you question yourself, belittling you or simply just not caring
about you, remove the negativity from your life as soon as possible. Respect yourself enough to be able to walk
away.

5. Let go if you simply dont see eye to eye.

It is hard to make a relationship work if you cant ever agree or see each others points of view. If the one thing
you can agree on is that neither of you can agree, it might be time to walk away.
In many friendships and relationships, people come together through unlikely chances, through their
differences and lack of similarities. Therefore, it can work, but if you find that its a significant source of many of
your disputes and tensions, get out now.

6. Let
go if youre the one fighting to make it work.
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LIFE

LIFE

If your relationship makes you feel as though youre the only one putting in effort, time and love, reflect on
whether
or not its worth it. If someone truly loves you, cares for you or wants and needs you, the person will
Money
never allow you to invest disproportionate effort.
Sports

Find someone who makes you feel worthwhile and worthy. Find someone who fights to have you in his or her
Dating
life. Find
someone who knows how lucky he or she is to have you.

Find Entertainment
someone who acknowledges everything you have done and will do. Dont waste your time on anything
less.
Music
Women

7. Let go if he or she doesnt encourage you or believe in you.

If youEnvision
find that your relationship isnt providing you with support, reflect on what the person is providing. You
deserve someone who will be there to encourage you throughout your journey and believe in you maybe even
Humor

more than you believe in yourself.

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8. Let go if the relationship isnt bringing you what you want and need.
Ask yourself whether you can do without the relationship or whether its something you unquestionably want
and deserve. Sometimes, theres this belief that we can be too fussy with what we want from others in life, but
then again, why should we settle for anything less than happiness?
Dont ever allow someone to make you feel needy for wanting someone who will love, care and support you,
someone who will listen and give you insightful advice, someone who wants the same things, someone you can
trust and will be loyal to you, someone who believes so strongly in you and your capabilities. Just someone who
makes you feel like youre someone.
Photo Courtesy: We Heart It (http://weheartit.com/entry/122200627/from/just--keep-on-smiling.tumblr.com?
context_user=Kimmy_Pham)

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ALYSSA HO
Alyssa is an aspiring writer, forever in pursuit of happiness, whose passion lies in inspiring and
empowering people as much as she can through what she terms "the power of words." She
believes in finding the beauty in everything in life and therefore turns to writing to influence others to
do the same. The young woman has a strong desire for connecting with people and touching their
lives through this passion of hers. She endlessly finds herself daydreaming. For her, life is made
meaningful and beautiful by wishful thinking and finding yourself so lost in your thoughts and your
desire of your own perfect wonderland that you wake to reality with a passion to make it all come
true. http://herwonderlandlust.blogspot.com.au/

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67 comments

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Ziggy Siegfried

Follow

Top Commenter

Wow! I've had great frinds for over 40 years. If I listened to pathetic advice like this, I'd be
friendless and divorced. Friendship isn't always built on the good times. Strong friendships do t
put expectations on one another. Whoever wrote this needs a friend.
Reply Like

62 Follow Post July 30 at 3:18pm

Yoojin Kim Joo Joo

Top Commenter

How is this advice pathetic? There maybe people who keep the friendship going as
long as you did and still going, and there maybe someone who also had a
friendship as long as you did, but things still change, people change, and
friendships and any other types of relationships between people can change, and
it's not necessarily a bad change. If that change benefits both people, why not?
Reply Like

14 July 31 at 4:12pm

Mark Christopher

Follow

Top Commenter American Military University Online

Friends that still live at home for the past 15 years isn't toxic? You serious? Making
$25000 a year and always leeching off you because you are successful is
considered hard time? Its called I grew up and they live in high school still. You need
to learn to read. But then again, you are probably that person they are talking about
here.
Reply Like

9 August 1 at 12:56am

Madison Norris

Follow

Top Commenter

Seems as if you failed to grasp the concept of this article, or maybe you just wanted
to disagree to sound off an irrelavant opinion. The context of this article is for people
who may not have the best of friends or relationship, those in questioning, those
who might not be reaping the engaging and learning experience or uplifting positive
joy of that relationship or friendship any longer; If at all. If you have great friends good
for you! obviously this doesn't apply....smh
Reply Like

11 August 1 at 10:31am

View 7 more
Griselda Martinez

Top Commenter UMBC

Just because you've been friends with someone for a long time, doesn't mean they're good
friends. I've learned this the hard way.
Reply Like

26 Follow Post July 30 at 8:53pm

Tonya Charles Atlanta, GA

This. All the way. Sometimes I see friendships people have and wonder what in the
world they are getting out of them? There is nothing reciprocal in them. But to each
their own. I love the article and it actually made me contemplate some relationships
with people I call friends.
Reply Like

9 July 31 at 7:34am

Yoojin Kim Joo Joo

Top Commenter

I agree wholeheartedly. It's similar to how if you're in an abusive relationship for

I agree wholeheartedly. It's similar to how if you're in an abusive relationship for

years, and you realize how abusive it is and you try to move on from it. It's confusing
me how some people can think this article is being narcissistic and egotistical.
Reply Like

9 July 31 at 4:24pm

Jenilyn E. Alexandrie
I actually found this article insightful. Relationships and friendships translates
differently for everyone if you find this article relatable then it's worth but if you
don't...doesn't mean it's bad advice.
Reply Like

4 July 31 at 10:37pm

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Rosemary Carchide LeBlanc

Follow On my ass at Disable

this is dangerous self centered self serving, destined to die alone schlock... who authorized you
to advise?
Reply Like

26 Follow Post July 30 at 3:34pm

Christian Dussault Works at UBS

Yea, its gona be a no. You in essence encourage egoism and ignorance. Unless your happy,
leave. Its an idiotic notion. Sure, if you are miserable then do something about it, but leave
because you don't get encouraged? Not being encouraged can be concern and doesn't have to
be malicious. Parents don't always encourage children and they don't mean harm.
Reply Like

17 Follow Post July 30 at 1:57pm

Timothy Oh SAT Math/English Instructor at GO Learning

Article Summarized:
If you're a scared little punk, don't trust anyone. Live alone, only have shallow relationships, and
peace out before you think they can hurt you.
Reality:
The BEST relationships in life are those you work with, those you commit too. It's easy to have
the flimsy relationships this blogger talks about: Drink a beer and say hi to someone. If you
want something more, which everyone deserves, you need to stick with it. You find much more
beauty once you learn all the "dirty" things about your friends.
Reply Like

12 Follow Post July 31 at 7:34am

Selam

Top Commenter

Yes! Well said...

Reply Like

1 July 31 at 8:58am

Kristen StradleyKiKi LSU

I believe the point the author was trying to make is that you should not "stick with it"
nor "commit" to a relationship that results in constant stress, negativity, or lack of
encouragement. Degradation in any relationship is completely unacceptable. The
selfish attitude of society conditions us to lower our expectations and settle in
uncomfortable relationships. I support what this author is stating because she is
encouraging people to stand up for greater expectations that once ruled societal
norms of encouraging, giving natures.
Reply Like
Kelly Clark

23 August 1 at 1:55am
Follow Trabuco Hills High School

I also think people are missing the point of this article. I perceived that the author is
directing this toward close relationships that are detrimental and toxic to a person.
There needs to be a balance between give and take to an extent. It's easy and
convenient for people to use and take advantage you if you're totally committed to
them. You need to draw the line somewhere and assess if the other person is
making an effort in the relationship or just reaping the benefits. I've had some
relationships where I kept focused on the good things although the scale was tilted

relationships where I kept focused on the good things although the scale was tilted
much heavier on the bad side. I can relate to this with an ex boyfriend and an ex best
friend. The ex boyfriend was dishonest, abusive, and used me the whole time, but I
loved him. It took me way too long to finally get rid of him. The ex best friend would
use me and all of the people in our circle of friends. She was very selfish and would
constantly gossip about other people. I always wondered what she said about me
behind my back. Finally one day, out of nowhere, she said it all directly to me. I
honestly can't believe some of the things that came out of her (one of my BEST
friends) mouth. I think the author is saying that you should IDENTIFY these traits in
people and REALIZE if you would be better off without them.
Reply Like

5 August 1 at 3:26am

View 4 more
Vicente Jr Torrento Lim Sr. Manager(branch head) at FAR EAST BANK AND TRUST COMPANY
let go, move on. grow & live gracefully!!!
Reply Like

11 Follow Post July 30 at 8:34pm

Victor A. Vallejo
Follow City Planning Associate at City of Los Angeles, Department of City
Planning 554 followers
Interesting comments, thanks everyone. It's when you've done all you can that you are not
getting back the same or close to it that you have to let go. One thing if the bad behavior is due
to some mental illness or even a personality disorder, you take this into account. Even then, you
may have to put some distance between you and them just to save your own sanity. A story from
a book I read about the people we love, it said something to the effect of a woman who came
from a very dysfunctional family. For years she made countless efforts to gain their favor and
better treatment from them. Then the straw that broke the camel's back: it was her son's
birthday. None of her relatives even sent him a birthday card. He was heartbroken. When this
happened she cut them loose. She had had enough from their neglect and bad treatment. She
was freed from this bad situation. She felt liberated and was then able to proceed with her life
being much happier and freer to meet other people who were treating her right.
Reply Like

10 Follow Post Edited July 31 at 12:05am

Joshua David Lenon

Follow West Chester Township, Butler County, Ohio

Just a thought from a guy who probably has a little more insight on something like this...
To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly
broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an
animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it
up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless,
airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable,
irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable
CS Lewis
Reply Like
Steve Goh

9 Follow Post July 31 at 1:45pm

Follow

The article makes sense. It's simply about playing safe to avoid yourself from losing out and
being hurt in a relationship .... but then again it's also discouraging us from fighting to save
relationships and we might end up hurting other people too. There can be positive points
sometimes if you hang and battle on...
Reply Like

6 Follow Post July 30 at 5:43pm

Jordane Tu Conn Pas Boston College

Yeah but sometimes it's like fighting with the win and so better let go as soon as
possible than loose your time, i think
Reply Like

2 July 30 at 8:07pm

Jenessa Aleff
The way I saw this article was letting go AFTER fighting and doing your own part to
save the friendship or relationship....sometimes you fight and try for so long and the
other person has no interest or doesn't see a problem...and you end up being the
one hurt anyway.

Reply Like
Gajendran Sudharson

43 July 30 at 9:14pm
Top Commenter Sunway College

Just what I needed to read! Thanks for posting something like this at an important time in my
life.
Reply Like

5 Follow Post July 30 at 4:15pm

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