The Social Sharia

Marriage in Islam
In Islam, marriage is a legal contract between two people. Both the groom
and the bride are to consent to the marriage of their own free wills. A formal,
binding contract is considered integral to a religiously valid Islamic marriage,
and outlines the rights and responsibilities of the groom and bride. There
must be two Muslim witnesses of the marriage contract. Divorce (also called
Tallaq in Arabic) is permitted and can primarily be issued by the groom.
However, the bride also has the right to initiate the demand for the divorce.
The actual rules of marriage and divorce (often part of Personal Status Laws)
can differ from country to country, based on codified law and the school of
jurisprudence that is largely followed in that country.
In addition to the usual marriage until death or divorce, there is a different
fixed-term marriage known as zawj al-mutah ("temporary marriage")
permitted only by the Twelver branch of Shia Islam for a pre-fixed period.
There is also Nikah Misyar, a non-temporary marriage with the removal of
some conditions permitted by some Sunni Muslims, which usually amount to
the wife waiving her right to sustenance from her husband.
Islam is totally opposed to monasticism and celibacy. Marriage is an act of
Sunnah in Islam and is strongly recommended.

Prohibited Relations
According to Surah Al-Nisa 4:23, the relations prohibited for marriage are as
follows:

Relations by Birth (or Direct Relations):

Mothers;
Daughters:
Sisters;

Fathers sisters;
Mothers sisters;
Sisters daughters; and
Brothers daughters;

Indirect Relations:

Relations by Fosterage:

Foster Mothers; and

Sisters on the basis of fosterage1

Relations by Marriage:

Wives mothers;
Wives daughters, if conjugal relation has been established
with the wife;
Wives of real sons; and
Wives sisters, while the wife is still in marriage2

General Prohibition

Wives of other men, as long as they remain in their marriage.

These are the relationships expressly prohibited by the Shari`ah. The reason
for declaring these relations prohibited for marriage is to secure the
development and maintenance of a sound family and social structure. It is
imperative for the creation of a sound and stable family and social structure
to give sanctity to a few relations and to remove all kinds of sexual
interaction between these relations. Thus, the stated prohibition secures the
existence not only of mothers, fathers, brothers and sisters but also that of
aunts and uncles, nieces and nephews, in-laws and foster relationships. All
these relations are sanctified by the Quran and have, therefore, been
declared prohibited for marriage.

Requisites of Nikaah
Nikah is performed with a proposal (Iejaab) by the male or female and
acceptance (Qubool) by the male or female in the past tense and in the
presence of two male Muslim witnesses (Hidaaya vol. 2).

It is Sunnat that the marriage be announced and performed in the Masjid and
the bride be represented by her Mahram (Unmarriageable relative like father,
brother, etc.). The bride gives consent to her representative (Wakeel) in the
presence of two witnesses to perform her marriage at the Masjid. At the
Masjid, the Wakeel represents the bride in the presence of the two witnesses
and the stipulated dowry. The witnesses must be two trustworthy and pious

male Muslims who are not her ascendants e.g. father, grandfather or
descendants e.g. son, grandson, etc.
The Mahr (dowry) is the woman's right and should be stipulated prior to the
marriage.
The procedure of nikah is the same according to both Madhabs, i.e. Hanafis
and Shaafi'ees.

Rights and Obligations of spouses

Piety is the basis of choosing the life partner. Many are the statements of
the Quran and the Sunnah that prescribe kindness and equity, compassion
and love, sympathy and consideration, patience and good will. The Prophet,
peace and blessings be upon him, says, The best Muslim is the one who is
best to his family. Also, he says, and the most blessed joy in life is a
good, righteous wife. (Reported by At-Tirmidhi)

The role of the husband evolves around the moral principle that it is his
solemn duty to Allah to treat his wife with kindness, honor, and patience; to
keep her honorably or free her from the marital bond honorably; and to
cause her no harm or grief. Allah Almighty says: consort with them in
kindness, for if you hate them it may happen that you hate a thing wherein
Allah has placed much good. (An-Nisa: 19)

The role of the wife is summarized in the verse that women have rights even
as they have duties, according to what is equitable; but men have a degree
over them. Allah Almighty says, And they (women) have rights similar to
those (of men) over them in kindness, and men are a degree above them.
Allah is Mighty, Wise. (Al-Baqaraqh: 228)

This degree is usually interpreted by Muslim scholars in conjunction with

another passage which states, among other things, that men are trustees,
guardians, and protectors of women because Allah has made some of them
excel others and because men expend of their means. Allah Almighty says:
Men are in charge of women, because Allah has made the one of them to
excel the other, and because they spend of their property (for the support of
women). So good women are the obedient, guarding in secret that which
Allah has guarded. As for those from whom you fear rebellion, admonish
them and banish them to beds apart, and scourge them. Then if they obey

you, seek not a way against them. Lo! Allah is ever High Exalted, Great. (AnNisa: 34)

The Wifes Rights; The Husbands Obligations:

Because the Quran and the Sunnah of the Prophet, peace and blessings be
upon him, have commanded kindness to women, it is the husbands duty to:

1- Consort with his wife in an equitable and kind manner. Allah Almighty
says, and consort with them in kindness. (An-Nisa: 19)

2- Have responsibility for the full maintenance of the wife, a duty which he
must discharge cheerfully, without reproach, injury, or condescendence.
Allah Almighty says: Let him who has abundance spend of his abundance,
and he whose provision is measured, let him spend of that which Allah has
given him. Allah asks naught of any soul save that which He has given it.
Allah will vouchsafe, after hardship, ease. (At-Talaq: 7)

Components of Maintenance:

Maintenance entails the wifes incontestable right to lodging, clothing,

nourishing, and general care and well-being.
1-The wifes residence must be adequate so as to provide her with the
reasonable level of privacy, comfort, and independence. The welfare of the
wife and the stability of the marriage should be the ultimate goal.

2-What is true of the residence is true of clothing, food, and general care.
The wife has the right to be clothed, fed, and cared for by the husband, in
accordance with his means and her style of life. These rights are to be
exercised without extravagance or miserliness.

Non-Material Rights:

A husband is commanded by the law of God to:

1- Treat his wife with equity.

2- Respect her feelings, and to show her kindness and consideration.
3- Not to show his wife any aversion or to subject her to suspense or
uncertainty.
4- Not to keep his wife with the intention of inflicting harm on her or
hindering her freedom.
5- Let her demand freedom from the marital bond, if he has no love or
sympathy for her.

The Wifes Obligations; The Husbands Rights:

The main obligation of the wife as a partner in a marital relationship is to
contribute to the success and blissfulness of the marriage as much as
possible. She must be attentive to the comfort and well-being of her mate.
She may neither offend him nor hurt his feelings. Perhaps nothing can
illustrate the point better than the Quranic statement which describes the
righteous people as those who pray saying: Our Lord! Grant unto us wives
and offspring who will be the joy and the comfort of our eyes, and guide us
to be models of righteousness. (Al-Furqan: 74)

This is the basis on which all the wifes obligations rest and from which they
flow. To fulfill this basic obligation:

1- The wife must be faithful, trustworthy, and honest.

2- She must not deceive her mate by deliberately avoiding conception lest it
deprive him of legitimate progeny.
3- She must not allow any other person to have access to that which is
exclusively the husbands right, i.e. sexual intimacy.
4-She must not receive anyone in his home whom the husband does not like.
5-She may not accept their gifts without his approval. This is probably meant
to avoid jealousy, suspicion, gossip, etc., and also to maintain the integrity of
all parties concerned.

6- The husbands possessions are her trust. If she has access to any portion
thereof, or if she is entrusted with any fund, she must discharge her duty
wisely and thriftily. She may not lend or dispose of any of his belongings
without his permission.
7- With respect to intimacy, the wife is to make herself desirable; to be
attractive, responsive, and cooperative.
8- A wife may not deny herself to her husband, for the Quran speaks of
them as a comfort to each other. Due consideration is, of course, given to
health and decency.

Definition of Polygamy
Polygamy means a system of marriage whereby one person has more than
one spouse. Polygamy can be of two types. One is polygyny where a man
marries more than one woman, and the other is polyandry, where a woman
marries more than one man. In Islam, limited polygyny is permitted; whereas
polyandry is completely prohibited.

Quran permits limited polygyny

Quran is the only religious book on the face of the earth that says marry only one.
The context of this phrase is the following verse from Surah Nisa of the Glorious
Quran:

"Marry women of your choice, two, or three, or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not
be able to deal justly (with them), then only one."

[Al-Quran 4:3]

Before the Quran was revealed, there was no upper limit for polygyny and many
men had scores of wives, some even hundreds. Islam put an upper limit of four
wives. Islam gives a man permission to marry two, three or four women, only on the
condition that he deals justly with them.

In the same chapter i.e. Surah Nisa verse 129 says:

"Ye are never able to be fair and just as between women...."
[Al-Quran 4:129]

Therefore polygyny is not a rule but an exception. Many people are under the
misconception that it is compulsory for a Muslim man to have more than one wife.

Broadly, Islam has five categories of Dos and Donts:

> Fard i.e. compulsory or obligatory
> Mustahab i.e. recommended or encouraged
> Mubah i.e. permissible or allowed
> Makruh i.e. not recommended or discouraged
> Haraam i.e. prohibited or forbidden

Polygyny falls in the middle category of things that are permissible. It cannot be
said that a Muslim who has two, three or four wives is a better Muslim as compared
to a Muslim who has only one wife.

Divorce in Islam
Divorce is the most hated permissible thing in the sight of Allah. It dissolves families
and deprives children the family atmosphere. The Prophet (peace and blessings be
upon him) said: "The most hateful permissible thing (al-Halal) in the sight of Allah is
divorce." (Abu Dawud, Hadith 1863, Ibn Majah, Hadith 2008).

The spouses should avoid divorce as much as possible. If they have difficulties and
problems, they should be patient and forbearing. They have to try to work out their
differences and seek help from their relatives, friends or professional counselors.

Due to the sacredness of the marriage contract, Islam asks both the husband and
the wife to keep and respect this bond. Thus, each partner in this sacred
relationship must treat the other kindly and properly. A man must not divorce his
wife to bring harm upon her, as this constitutes an act that demolishes this noble
establishment, breaks the womans heart, and possibly separates the woman from
her children without any reason. Thus, the separation between a man and his wife
(without just reasons) was considered one of the major and grave sins, and one of
the most beloved actions of Satan, as was narrated in a number of hadiths. This is,
of course, a form of oppression which is totally forbidden in Islam.

In this regard, we recall the Prophets hadith that reads: "Iblis (Satan) places his
throne upon water, then sends his groups. The closest to him are those who (tempt
people to) commit the most grievous of sins (fitnah). One of them would approach
him and say: I did such-and-such. Iblis would reply: You have done nothing. Another
would approach and say: I did not leave him (a man) until I caused him to leave his
wife and for them to be separated. Iblis would bring him close to his throne and
would say: How good you are!

And since the husband must never divorce his wife in order to bring harm upon her
without reason, it is also forbidden for a woman to ask for a divorce without a
sensible reason. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: Any woman
who asks her husband to divorce her without an acceptable reason will never smell
the scent of Paradise.

Given the above, it becomes crystal clear that neither the husband nor the wife has
the right to resort to divorce without justification. Divorce should be the last resort
after all attempts of reconciliation fail. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon
him) said: Let a believing man not dislike a believing woman. If something in her is
displeasing to him, another trait may be pleasing.

And Allah Almighty says, ". And consort with them in kindness, for if you dislike
them, it may be that you dislike something in which Allah has placed much good."
(An-Nisa'4:19)

A husband should accept reconciliation, particularly when his wife shows her wish
for reform and obedience. Allah says:

"... And as for those women on whose part you fear stubbornness, (first) admonish
them; then refuse to share their beds; and (finally) beat them (lightly). Then if they
return to obedience, seek not against them Means (of annoyance); indeed, Allah is
Most High, Great (34) And if you fear breach between the two of them, appoint an
arbiter from his family and an arbiter from her family. If they desire to set things
aright, Allah will bring about reconciliation between them; indeed, Allah is Knowing,
Aware." (An-Nisa' 4: 34-35)

It is to be remembered that each divorce has multiple effects on their own-self (later
not getting a good spouse easily, and for woman, not even remarriage at all) but
also on children (who get hanged between father and mother). It may be very long

or permanent division between two attached families, specially if they have multiple
family bindings.