Table of Contents

Acknowledgments…………………………………………………….. 4

Introduction ……………………………………………………………5

Chapter 1………………………………………………………………11
Why are teenagers turning to violence and crime?……………11
So why do store-owners refuse to service teenagers?…………12

Chapter 2……………………………………………………………….22
Parents………………………………………………………….27
Words and Abuse………………………………………………31

Chapter 3……………………………………………………………….34
Teenagers………………………………………………………34

Chapter 4…………………………………………………………….…40
FAQ’s…………………………………………………………..40

Chapter 5………………………………………………………………..46
New Generations of Racism……………………………………51
Learning to communicate………………………………………53

Chapter 6……………………………………………………………….57
Sex and Drugs………………………………………………….57

Chapter 7………………………………………………………………62
Stories………………………………………………………….62

Chapter 8………………………………………………………………73
Poems and food for thought…………………………………...73

The End………………………………………………………………..97

About the Author……………………………………………………..100

1
 INTRODUCTION

I have been asked many times, by many people over the last nine

years why I have been writing this book. I always give the same reason; I’m

writing this book with the hope of bridging the gap between parents and

their children, or at least to make the gap smaller.

This book will not solve all parent/child conflicts, and I’m not going to

give specific details on how to solve actual problems that a parent may

encounter with their child. This book has been written to give both teenagers

and parents greater insight to what they may each be going through and help,

especially parents, decide what may be the best course of action to take.

One thing you will not find in this book is column after column of

data and statistics. I really don’t believe that this type of information is

relevant when deciding what is the best action to take in a given situation. If

you are the type that likes or want that kind of information visit your local

library or bookstore, I’m sure that you can get your fill of data and statistics

from books there.

I would like to give a word of caution; Data and statistics are fine but

don’t let yourself get into the trap of placing your teenager into these

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statistics. This could cause you to become frozen in fear and indecision as

the data and statistics may be over whelming.

Another potential danger is that the extra knowledge may actually put

you at odds with your teenager. This usually happens when you approach a

problem with a preconceived idea. Since your mind is already made up on

what is causing the problem it will be closed to what your teenager is really

telling you the problem is. Your teenager is an individual and being an

individual makes it impossible to classify him/her. Therefore, how is it

possible to write a book and state, “ If you have this problem, do this”; YOU

CAN’T.

The next question of course, is why did I feel like I could or needed to

write a book on this subject. It started in November of 1991. We had moved

to a small town and my life style suddenly got simpler. We had moved away

from a place where I knew and worked with many teenagers on my own

time. That had been a very fulfilling time for me as I had created many

friendships; friendships that were hard to leave behind. The teenagers had

taught me much over the years, as much if not more than I had taught them.

This was where I learned how teenagers think, feel, and react to the world

around them. This was where they taught me not to fear them but to

understand them.

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 Later I started hearing on T.V. and the radio about teenagers getting

into trouble, living on the streets, violence, suicide, gang beatings and death.

Right then I knew that I had to help somehow. The news made it seem like

more and more teenagers were turning bad and that teenagers stopped

caring. I started thinking, if this generation is falling apart, or we don’t

understand them, than what’s going to happen to the next generation and the

next one after that and so on.

Admittedly violence and crime has become a big part in teenagers

lives. So I started to ask teenagers why? The answers I received ranged from

it making them feel like they are good at something to making them feel

powerful. Others replied that it helps them deal with the frustrations they are

feeling in their everyday life.

When asked about theft, the common response was that they felt

insecure and vulnerable and stealing helped to make them feel in control of

their own destiny. This also fulfilled their needs for things they could not

have and gave them a powerful feeling when they got away with it.

When asked about teenage social classes they replied that among

teenagers there are many social classes. They stated that they do not always

get the choice of their social class that they are placed into but that they are

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often placed there through circumstance. Once they are classed they are

treated by others based on this class, whether they deserved it or not.

For days and months on end I thought about what teenagers were

saying to me and how individuals and society were treating the next

generation. Each day that went by it hurt me to see the violence and the pain

that many teenagers were having to suffer on a daily basis, often due to the

misunderstanding between teenagers and adults.

Therefore, my goal with this book, if I had to put it in a short

statement, would be that I hope that through this book I can help this

generation understand the next generation and in turn help upcoming

generations. I know that this is a bold statement for a person to make, but all

it really takes is some understanding from all parties involved to make this a

reality. It is really a very simple concept; I want to teach teenagers and

adults how to talk to each other. The concept is simple; it’s the

implementation that’s difficult.

This will involve teenagers and adults changing their way of thinking

and socialization. This change is not only necessary between teenagers and

adults but also between teenager and teenager.

I suppose the next question would be what makes me think that I can

accomplish this when others have been talking and trying to do

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something about it for years. I would answer by saying “I went about

this in a different manner than many others have tried”.

I didn’t go to university to learn the knowledge that I will be

imparting. Nor am I going to use big fancy words that will require a

person to use a dictionary to read my book.

My book is based on real life situations that I personally dealt

with, or problems that teenager and myself spent many hours

discussing. This has allowed me a very real insight into the teenage

world and the changes in society they have had to go through. I learned

more about real life problems and developed problem solving skills in

the years I spent laughing and crying with teenagers and as a parent

then I ever could in university, and I want to thank the many teenagers

and parents that have blessed my life.

So in short what I look to accomplish is to teach teenagers and

adults to talk to each other. I want to accomplish this by giving both

teenagers and adults a small look into each others world. I also hope to

give teenagers some food for thought when thinking about their own

lives.

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 I will accomplish this without the use of lots of data and statistics

that are designed to scare, but by giving an insight to what drives most

actions, and emotions!

So sit back, grab your teenager and enjoy.

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 The End

The city was cold and very lit up, but this world felt dark and I was

alone with my jacket. I had holes in my socks but I felt, at the time, that this

was better than the fighting and put downs and the way it hurt inside when I

lived at home.

I wasn’t wanted there anyway, why stay and die? I had an argument

with my mom; was so long ago I don’t even know what it was about.

Warehouses and run down apartments are a home and whatever you could

steal is the way of life.

It was so much more peaceful living on the streets.

My whole world had changed. Before long, screaming became a

lullaby and the train at 6:30 in the morning was my wake up call.

Armed robberies and Breaking and Entering became my way to live.

Then selling drugs kept me alive. I never did drugs but sold enough to eat

every day and the people I sold the drugs for kept me protected, for a little

while anyways.

Was it worth the cost of the discipline and rules, for some maybe? I

saw many people come down sick from the dampness, never seen them

again.

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 I moved a lot, you never stay in a spot for long, as you had to fight

with too many people to keep a spot, so you keep moving. The more you

moved the safer you felt, as safe as you can feel on the streets that is.

I seen younger people then myself living next to me and I wondered

how long they would live or be there. Each day was different then the last,

you see some people one day and the next they have disappeared. You never

ask because usually that started a fight. You stay out of other peoples

business and they stay out of yours.

After living on the streets for a while, I felt that if there was a chance

to talk with my parents again I would. Living with my parents would have

been better.

I was lucky, many of the people on the streets preferred to stay there

rather then with the family they once had. Abuse, assault, hateful parents,

and more, they still say that living on the streets is better.

Look at your parents and remember how much discipline really works

and is needed. It’s a small price to pay for happiness.

I cannot write very well so I’ve told my story and someone else is

writing it.

Parents remember we have feelings and need your love and

understanding and friendship to make it.

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 Note from the author

This story was told to me and related to you so that you would get an

idea of what could happen to your teenager. Whatever you do listen to them,

care for them and remember that you gave birth to them. They are yours

always and forever.

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 About the Author

Melodie Guay is a very concerned caring individual. I say individual

because not many people with these qualities would combine them to create

this book to help you understand your teenagers better.

Melodie has devoted a lot of time; a lot of energy, and a lot of years, to

helping teenagers understand their parents and themselves. She has a great

understanding of how their mind works and how a teenager with the

qualities they have will deal with the situations ahead of them.

Now Melodie would very much like to help you understand your

teenager better and ask you to help them with the tender and confusing times

ahead of them and YOU!

There has been a lot of research involved in presenting the pages that

lay ahead of you.

The information in this book can bring you and your teenager closer

together or better yet, keep them close before they shut you out.

ENJOY AND DON’T GIVE UP!!!!!

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 BACK COVER

The pain of my one last love is held deep in my heart, and it seems as if now
that hurt has taken all my love from my soul.
My last love was hurt and he held the one decision that would leave me with
the last part of my now empty soul.
I look at him from a distance to see if the pain I feel is felt to by my love. If I
was to feel his pain would it be as strong and hurtful as the pain that seems
to lasts forever in me.

I found in Melodie the one person who understands the pain, hurt, and agony
of being alone. This person is cared and loved by many, but in so many
different ways.
She is to me the one who is my angel to guide me down that path. She is the
one I know will always be by my side to feel the love and caring back.
If this person ever has doubts in that she has let me know, and feel her
doubts, her feelings.
She has put her trust and love in me.
She has helped in so many ways not to be seen.
I feel as if she took my pain inside and kept it for me.
I love and trust her and call her my friend.
This young lady was 15

Note from author

Over the last 15 years I spent a lot of time being friends with teenagers.
When I decided to start doing research for my book the teenager’s were told
about it and started submitting their writings, and asked if I could use them. I
was honored by them and told them that that I would as their poems give
great insight to a teenagers thoughts and feelings.

Inside these covers you will find more then stories and poems you will find
my thoughts, my love for teenagers, and maybe food for thought; that and
perhaps understanding

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